You would never trade the 15-7-0 for a sixth round pick

September 09, 2013 | Glenn Clark

11. Terrence West now owns the record for the most touchdowns in Towson history. But that’s only because they don’t count the number of times my jaw has “touched down” while hanging out at Hooters.

Someone make a “Terrence West for Heisman” gift basket to send me, please. T-West was a monster again Saturday…

Speaking of Hooters, I’ll be broadcasting live from Hooters downtown Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday afternoon 2-6pm. I’ll be “Grabbing a Bud” at Hooters Towson Friday night 7-8pm. Monday afternoon I’m at Ryleigh’s Oyster Bar in Federal Hill courtesy of Pinnacle Vodka. I’ll be giving away copies of “Jonathan Ogden: Baltimore’s First Raven” from Press Box as well as a couple pairs of these awesome glasses from the folks in College Park as seen modeled here by Stefon Diggs…

12. I think the Detroit Lions probably made the right decision to finally un-retire the running back position they had honored Barry Sanders with.

Reggie Bush isn’t worthy of Manning 25 cover status, but he’s pretty good.

Bush wasn’t the only Lions back with a big day. Joique Bell scored TD’s and channeled his inner Treach.

Of course, the Vikings still have a running back themselves. He’s rather Adrian Peterson-y.

Joseph Fauria caught the first TD of his career in the Lions’ win. He celebrated…beautifully.

Also, Ndamukong Suh is still struggling with the whole “rules of the NFL” thing.

13. The Dallas Cowboys were tremendous in September. When stated alone, that’s not a bad thing.

Eli Manning’s season did not start well.

Later in the game, Eli would go all “Manningface” on everyone.

GROSS alert. Here’s Jason Witten puking on the sidelines. It’s exactly what I say it is.

And now, Tony Corrente does ballet!

And because you needed a reason to punch your desk, here’s LeBron James and Hulk Hogan hanging out with Jerry Jones at the game. Not pictured, so was New Jersey governor Chris Christie. None of them were anywhere near a (recent) Lombardi Trophy.

14. Sit back and enjoy Fresno State supplying your new favorite touchdown of all time.

Austin Wentworth lived your dream Saturday night against Cal Poly. I love this so freaking much.

15. The St. Louis Rams look interesting. Perhaps even interesting enough to accidentally take a look at one of their games in the future.

Jared Cook had two TD’s for the Rams in the win. It would have been three if not for the Honey Badger.

And speaking of fat guy touchdowns, here’s Dan Williams!

You know who’s off to a great start this season? The Rams’ mascot.

The FOX postgame show aired after this one. It included an all-time photobomb.

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