You would never trade the 15-7-0 for a sixth round pick

September 09, 2013 | Glenn Clark

5. Meanwhile, DeAngelo Williams’ level of embarrassment is probably something closer to “Hangover 2”.

Here. This will be a sure touchdowNOOOOO….

And hey, Cam Newton’s Superman cleats looked AWESOME in a completely worthless performance for my fantasy football team.

6. Texas gave up a Green Bay Packers’ season worth of rushing yards to BYU Saturday night.

I stopped counting at 6,000 rushing yards for the Cougars. It was enough that Mack Brown had to fire his defensive coordinator.

Here’s ESPN sideline reporter Maria Taylor at the game thinking “that comes later.”

Elsewhere in the Big 12, Oklahoma did this but still ended up beating West Virginia anyway.

7. It’s good to know the Cleveland Browns won’t have to bother changing their annual “there’s always next year” slogan.

Brandon Weeden threw three picks. So…

So despite the transgressions of Thursday night, the Baltimore Ravens are still tied for first place in the AFC North at 0-1. But there’s also this.

Which got me thinking.

At what point does the tight end situation get so dire that Ozzie Newsome just goes all-out Roger Dorn…

And our “zero” from outside the world of football…

Did you know Bill Clinton almost cost Serena Williams the US Open? 

From USA Today

When former president Bill Clinton showed up at Sunday’s U.S. Open final, Serena Williams was in the driver’s seat, up two breaks on Victoria Azarenka and just two games away from her 17th Grand Slam title. But in a scene that was eerily reminiscent of an incident with Andre Agassi 12 years ago, the presence of Clinton happened to coincide with a drop in the level of play of a top-ranked American in a Grand Slam. Serena twice failed to serve out the match and went on to lose the second set as whispers of the Curse of Clinton revved up.

Back in 2001, Agassi was playing a French Open quarterfinal against Sebastien Grosjean. Agassi won the first set with ease at 6-1. But when Clinton arrived at the beginning of the second and took a seat behind the baseline, Agassi’s game seemed to vanish. Grosjean won the next two sets, 6-1, 6-1. Then, in the fourth set, Clinton left his seat for a few games and Agassi found an instant spark, breaking Grosjean to go up 2-0. “But as if on cue, when the former president returned to his seat, Agassi’s game again collapsed,” the Associated Press wrote at the time. Agassi dropped the fourth set 6-3 and lost the match. All told, he won just three games when Clinton was in his seat.

The possible jinx was a big topic of conversation after that match. Grosjean noticed that he played better when Clinton was in his seat. But Agassi dismissed the idea of a Clinton jinx, saying he didn’t even see the former president. The AP used this quote, along with an interesting editorial aside that contradicted the declaration.

“I didn’t know he was there,” said Agassi — a curious claim because the former president received a rousing ovation when he arrived and sat in the first row behind the baseline on Agassi’s side.

Clinton agreed with Grosjean. “I was bad for [Agassi],” Clinton said after the match. “I was bad luck. When I left, he won three games. I hated to come back.”

Okay, so he’s not a “zero.” But it’s a great excuse for me to post this freaking fantastic picture of him.

As well as this wild moment from Sunday’s final…

Plus Stan Wawrinka LOSING IT in Saturday’s semi…

And to let you know I’m taking Nadal in four sets Monday. Cheers.

(Hat tips to SB Nation, Deadspin, The AP,, The Big Lead, Guyism, Yahoo! Sports, Rant Sports, Fansided, Complex Sports, Busted Coverage, Larry Brown Sports, BroBible, USA Today, @CJZero, CBS, FOX Sports, ESPN, NBC Sports, Baltimore Sun, Washington Post, ACC Digital Network, Maryland Athletics, Navy Athletics, Towson Athletics, etc.)

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…