Top 10 Baseball Distractions

June 12, 2012 | Glenn Clark

8. Boxing: Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. vs. Andy Lee (Saturday 10pm from El Paso, TX live on HBO); Eddie Chambers vs. Tomasz Adamek (Saturday 9pm from Newark live on NBC Sports Network)

So…did anything happen in boxing last weekend? The sport died a long time ago so I always just assume there’s nothing to talk about.

Nothing? Okay that’s cool.

By the way, the only fighting I plan to do this summer is with a water gun. You know what’s terribly disappointing? There have been almost no advances in water gun technology since I was kid. For example, this is the hip new water gun “The Colossus.”

Does that thing appear to be…in ANY WAY…cooler than a Super Soaker 3000? No chance. My fellow Chapel Hill Elementary School troublemaker Billy Wallace and I would SCHOOL kids if we brought SS3000’s to their party.

7. Lacrosse: Shootout For Soliders (Thursday & Friday Boys’ Latin); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Hamilton Nationals @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on

They’re playing a 24 hour lacrosse game to benefit Wounded Warriors this week. It’s commendable, but it makes me wonder just how long it would take me to collapse in such a contest. I think I could make it…say…I dunno…five or six minutes before coughing up blood?

Apparently former Johns Hopkins star Paul Rabil is involved in this event. I bring that up because Paul Rabil can do THIS…

and I everyone else can’t.

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR Quicken Loans 400 (Sunday 12pm from Cambridge Township, MI live on TNT); IndyCar Series Milwaukee Indyfest (Saturday 1pm from West Allis, WI live on ABC)

Apparently Joey Logano won Sunday’s NASCAR race. I’d tell you more about it, but I spent my Sunday celebrating the 20th birthday of Kate Upton…

…I’ll go ahead and assume that even NASCAR fans can’t be mad about my decision making process.

5. NFL: Baltimore Ravens Mandatory Minicamp (Tuesday-Thursday Under Armour Performance Center coverage at

I got this email recently. “Glenn, I know you don’t think most OTA’s matter, but I’m sure you’ll be interested in mandatory minicamp knowing all of the veterans will be there, right?”

Not exactly.

I might wander over to Owings Mills at some point this week myself, but I’m far too realistic about this stuff. THERE ISN’T AN OPPONENT COMING. THERE AREN’T REALLY ANY JOBS ON THE LINE YET.

I’m more interested in Twitter’s “GOOB” singing a Ravens-themed version of “Red Solo Cup” than I am minicamps…