What Is All the Buzz About

June 14, 2010 | Tom Federline

World Cup Soccer has invaded the airwaves. Brrrrrrzzzzzzzzz, come on sound it out, Brrrrrrzzzzzzzzzzz, hold the “z”. Sound familiar? Have you tuned in to watch a World Cup soccer game? Brrrrrzzzzzzzzzzzz……..it is continuous……Is it a swarm of cicadas? Attack of the killer bees? Is it Donald Kroner flying a Piper Cub around the stadium? If I turn on a Cup game, I’m also getting my fly swatter out, hunting for flies, bees, cicadas or what ever is making that awful buzz sound! Ok, Ok, I know, it’s the Vuvuzela. The what? It is simply, one of those LOUD plastic horns! Brrrrzzzzzzzzz, for 2 hours +, Brrrrrzzzzzzzz. It’s cool for 5 minutes. Then I start getting a headache.

I am not an “avid” soccer fan. I believe the game time is to long and the field is to wide. I am also not a fan of a long drawn out game ending in a tie. I respect the game and those with the talent and endurance to play it. But they ought to chop 10-15 minutes off each half, or make it (3) 20 minute periods and narrow up the field. Then you may hook me, with or without those vuvuzelas. I could just tune in and turn the sound down (like the O’s Games). Or I could go to a local restaurant/bar and watch it. But for this sporting spectacle, I actually want to hear some decent commentary on players and teams that we are not  familiar with. I want to hear some World Cup history. I want to hear how a losing teams homeland is going to entice violent fanaticism due to an over-hyped soccer ……….game. I do not want to hear, Brrrrzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

The World Cup is cool. It is worldly. The teams are seeded. There are brackets. They play multiple teams. They play for a month. The sport does not end up with a North American NFL, MLB, or NBA champion.  When all said and done, there is one true World Champion. Italy is the defending World Cup Champ. We are talking around 200 teams from around the World trying to qualify just to get into this tournament. It is the best of the best soccer players. It is an ice-breaker. It is a conversation starter. It is one of those events, that has even the novice of sports fans, interested and a little pumped up. It is …….Brrrrrzzzzzzzzzzz.

The buzz is, there is some major cash flowing here gang. The tournament alone is dishing out a reported $420 million dollars to participants. They spread it out, but basically, $9 mil each to the round of 16, then incremental increases up to $30 mil, to the winners. So, where there is money……….(Let’s not go there). Hey, we need a fresh story. We need some “Dr. Feelgood” stories – (Motley Crue). The Baltimore summer weather is upon us (of which I like), but it is still Spring. Oil is still being leaked into the Gulf. We are still in precarious wars. The dollar bill doesn’t go as far. Our government is noticeably corrupt. And the Orioles, well, you know, not worth talking about. Come on man, bring on the Wide World of Sport! Bring on some pleasant publicity for once. Bring on the Brrrrzzzzzzzzz.

Do they pour beer down those plastic horns? They must. Those “horns” have to be annoying if you’re in the crowd and you are not one participating with your “vuvuzela”. Or if you’re not 3 sheets to the wind and can’t see the field anyway. Brrrrzzzzz. I ‘ve heard those “horns” at some Terp games, just short blasts though. Heck, I’ve even wanted one. But for 2 hours straight? Not for me, anymore. I do not like cicadas or bees or anything making a continuos buzzing noise. But I do like a fresh dose of Sport! The USA appears to have one heckuva goalie, Tim Howard. Brrrrrzzzzzzzzz. U-S-A. Brrrrrzzzzzzzz. I thought his arm was broken, when he came out after that ball on Saturday. Brrrrrrrrrzzzzzzz. U-S-A.