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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 06 September 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-LPGA Tour Walmart NW Arkansas Championship (Friday-Sunday 3pm from Rogers, AR live on Golf Channel); WNBA: Washington Mystics @ Indiana Fever (Wednesday 7pm from Indianpolis live on NBA TV), Washington Mystics @ San Antonio Silver Stars (Saturday 8pm from San Antonio live on NBA TV); Horse Racing: Laurel Park Opening Weekend (Friday & Saturday Laurel Park); High School Football: Perry Hall @ Catonsville (Friday 7pm), North County @ Glen Burnie (Friday 6:30pm)

10. Carnival of Madness Tour feat. Theory of a Deadman, Alter Bridge, Black Stone Cherry, Adelita’s Way (Wednesday 4:45pm Pier Six Pavilion), Several Species: The Pink Floyd Experience (Saturday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); The National (Tuesday 5pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Virgin Mobile Freefest feat. Cee Lo Green, Black Keys, Patti Smith, Grace Potter & The Nocturnals (Saturday 11am Merriweather Post Pavilion), Incubus/Young The Giant (Sunday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Toby Keith/Eric Church (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); John Hiatt & The Combo/Big Head Todd & The Monsters (Tuesday 7:30pm Wolf Trap); Chevelle/Hinder/Pop Evil (Thursday 5pm Power Plant Live), DJ Pauly D (Saturday 8pm Power Plant Live); KIX (Saturday 8pm Rams Head Live); Bucky Covington (Monday 7pm Recher Theatre); Kenny Wayne Shepherd (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Blackberry Smoke (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), The Yardbirds (Sunday 7:30pm Rams Head On Stage); Peter Bjorn And John (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club); Bret Michaels (Wednesday 7:30pm Birchmere); Edwin McCain (Wednesday 8pm Baltimore Soundstage), Bilal (Thursday 8pm Baltimore Soundstage); Cecil County Food & Wine Festival feat. George Jones (Saturday 4pm Port Deposit Marina Park); Concert For Hope feat. Patti LaBelle & Alan Jackson (Sunday 8pm from National Cathedral DC live on ABC)

Freefest isn’t for me this year, but as a Phoenix Coyotes fan I’ll be singing along to the Black Keys somewhere in my house…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AYNWSuWLSo[/youtube]

Everyone’s heard of Incubus, but perhaps no one had heard of Young The Giant before they rocked the MTV Video Music Awards. A shame, they’re awesome…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlrrYYPvHFA[/youtube]

I like Eric Church so much I almost want to move to North Carolina…and never root for the Tar Heels.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyNdDkspQQo[/youtube]

Another radio station is hooking up with the Ravens to put on the Thursday night show at PPL. I’m not going to give them free promotion, but the station name rhymes with “Finety Feight Frock.” I’m cised. LOVE Chevelle…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YMc6P6UDMk&ob=av2e[/youtube]

9. Glenn Clark’s Birthday (Tuesday); Maryland Seafood Festival (Saturday & Sunday Sandy Point State Park); Maryland Renaissance Festival (Saturday & Sunday RennFest Fairgrounds Crownsville); Ukranian Festival (Saturday & Sunday Patterson Park)

Wondering what to get me for my birthday this year? May I suggest something from the Robert McClintock catalog?

mcclintock

Because that would be awesome.

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 08 August 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Bantamweight Tournament Final-Joseph Agbeko vs. Abner Mares (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights: Kermit Cintron vs. Antwone Smith (Friday 9pm from St. Charles, MO live on ESPN2); WNBA: Atlanta Dream @ Washington Mystics (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & ESPN3.com), New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Friday 7pm Verizon Center); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Denver Outlaws @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3.com)

10. Melissa Etheridge (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), INXS (Wednesday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion), Chicago (Sunday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Return to Forever IV feat. Chick Corea (Tuesday 5:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), My Morning Jacket (Friday 5:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), O.A.R. feat. Virginia Coalition (Saturday 5:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Blink 182/My Chemical Romance (Friday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Tim McGraw feat. Luke Bryan (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); American Idol Live (Thursday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena); Mr. Greengenes (Friday 6pm Power Plant Live); Candlebox (Tuesday 7pm Recher Theatre), Ravyns (Saturday 7pm Recher Theatre); Steve Earle (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); Steve Miller Band (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap); Havre de Grace Seafood Festival feat. Charlie Daniels Band (Friday 7:45pm Downtown Havre de Grace); Alkaline Trio (Sunday 7pm Black Cat DC); 10,000 Maniacs (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere)

I think everyone knows I’ll be in Columbia Saturday night. I mean, where else would I be???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG2hDRClSM0[/youtube]

The thing though is that I’m not ONLY excited about O.A.R., I’m also REALLY looking forward to seeing VACO again…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Orrs6LeIbWQ[/youtube]

I probably won’t make it out to see Chicago, but it’s not because they aren’t awesome…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSOaoPDO16Y[/youtube]

If I WASN’T going to be at OAR Saturday night, I would ABSOLUTELY be in Towson Saturday night to see Rob Fahey and the Ravyns. We love him…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZymOQ0qk_BU[/youtube]

9. 30 Minutes or Less” and “Final Destination 5” out in theaters (Friday)

I’ve seen 30 Minutes or Less. It’s funny. Not “HOLY HELL I’LL NEVER STOP CRYING” funny, but funny.

Of course, Aziz Ansari has the ability to be “HOLY HELL I’LL NEVER STOP CRYING” funny.

If you’re not a fan of Tom Haverford/Parks & Recreation, I have absolutely no idea what you’re doing with your life…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS_bgv6f2Rk&feature=related[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 27 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Seattle Storm @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); Arena Football: AFL Pittsburgh Power @ Orlando Predators (Friday 8pm from Orlando live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: British Columbia Lions @ Montreal Alouettes (Thursday 7:30pm from Montreal live on NFL Network), Toronto Argonauts @ Calgary Stampeders (Saturday 8pm from Calgary live on NFL Network); NBA Collective Bargaining Agreement Expires (Friday); Cycling-Tour De France (Stage 1 Saturday Stage 2 Sunday Stage 3 Monday 8am live on VERSUS)

10. R. Kelly (Friday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena/Saturday 8pm Verizon Center); Trace Adkins (Friday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Kid Cudi (Saturday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Red/Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Wednesday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); Todd Rundgren (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Matt and Kim (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club); “A Capitol Fourth” feat. Little Richard (Monday 8pm from the U.S. Capitol live on PBS); Uncle Sam Jam feat. Pat McGee Band & Blind Melon (Saturday 2pm National Harbor); Wale (Saturday 10pm Unitas Stadium), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Wednesday) and Larry Crowne (Friday) open in theaters

You can make fun of me all you want. If you don’t dig “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” you and I are simply going to have to agree to disagree…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNVguvNE7qc[/youtube]

I really feel like I should dig Kid Cudi much more than I do. All told, he’s okay…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt22KvnRSL4[/youtube]

I’ve actually seen Little Richard play once before…it was right after Maryland pasted Tennessee in the 2002 Peach Bowl. He played in the middle of downtown Atlanta, as they dropped a huge peach behind him. It kicked ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZ6h0kyqSRk[/youtube]

I don’t know how many more praises I can sing for Wale. Dude is incredible, even if he is an effing Redskins fan…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zZqtYXDeh8[/youtube]

9. 4th of July Fireworks (Monday 9:30pm Inner Harbor); 4th of July parades/fireworks throughout Baltimore County (Saturday-Monday)

I’m partial myself to the Kingsville 4th of July parade having grown up on Bradshaw Road. As a youngster, it was nice to have something to do in town on Independence Day. Or at least a refreshing change of pace from what there was to do every other day in Kingsville…

nothing

So how did we get in so much trouble????

8. Boxing: IBF/WBO/WBA Heavyweight Championship Unification-Wladimir Klitschko vs. David Haye (Saturday 4:45pm from Hamburg, GER live on HBO), Friday Night Fights-Mark Melligen vs. Sebastian Lujan (Friday 11pm from San Antonio, TX live on ESPN2)

If a heavyweight title fight is held and no one pays attention, did it really happen?

This isn’t just a “everyone has a piece of the title so we’ll fight for a tenth of it” title fight, either. This is a legitimate “heavyweight championship of the world” title fight.

And yet…crickets.

Look, if Wladimir Klitschko wants people to pay attention to his next fight, I suggest he make it a “foxy boxing” contest against Jarah Marino (Thanks Guyism)…

jarah

Hey man…I know what I have to do to get page views, Wlad might have to do the same…

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Coke Zero 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Daytona, FL live on TNT)

I was in Charles Town, West Virginia Saturday night playing the ponies to celebrate a friend’s birthday. In the 5th race, the Number 5 horse literally through its’ jockey off not even a furlong in-only to go on to “win” the race by a nose. (Without the rider the win of course did not count.)

A young man standing near the rail near our party (who I’m reasonably certain was from WV) exclaimed “I ain’t never seen the #48 car do that!

So that’s what I’ve got from the world of NASCAR this week. Oh-apparently Kurt Busch won this week’s NASCAR race. And I saw Cars 2 Friday night! While I was sitting in the theater waiting for the flick to start, I Tweeted the following (follow me on Twitter @GlennClarkWNST)…

“Out to see #Cars2 tonight. #Thingsa27yearoldwithoutkidsshouldneverTweet”

So…yep…that’s all I’ve got for NASCAR. Honestly though, what did you expect?

6. Golf: PGA Tour AT&T National (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Newton Square, PA); Champions Tour Principal Charity Classic (Friday 6:30pm Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm from West Des Moines, IA live on Golf Channel)

The National used to be an event that folks cared about because it was hosted by Tiger Woods. That was of course before Tiger Woods retired from competitive golf without having the decency to hold as much as a press conference to announce his decision.

Without Tiger, Drew Forrester will once again be the only person who cares even a little bit about the event. But since it’s near Philadelphia, it’s a great excuse to pass along this snippet of food porn…

patssteak

Look man…I’m no golf fan…but if watching a couple holes earned me a trip to Pat’s…I might be in.

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 13 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Connecticut Sun @ Washington Mystics (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); Lacrosse: MLL Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Long Island Lizards (Thursday 7:30pm from Hempstead, NY live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Fernando Guerrero vs. Grady Brewer (Friday 9pm from Austin, TX live on ESPN2), Canelo Alvarez vs. Ryan Rhodes (Saturday 10:30pm from Guadalajara, Mexico live on HBO)

10. Sade & John Legend (Thursday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Katy Perry (Wednesday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Owl City & Mat Kearney (Saturday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Rascal Flatts (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); Patti LaBelle (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Elvis Costello & The Imposters (Wednesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Daryl Hall & John Oates (Monday 8pm Wolf Trap); Musiq Soulchild (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Michael Franti & Spearhead (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Pop Evil/Crossfade (Sunday 6pm Rams Head Live), Good Charlotte/Yellowcard (Monday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); The Bridge (Wednesday 8pm 8×10 Club); Pat McGee (Friday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head on Stage); Mark Curry (Thursday-Saturday Baltimore Comedy Factory); Aziz Ansari (Friday 7pm & 10pm Warner Theatre); “The Green Lantern” opens in theaters (Friday)

I was digging John Legend way before I ever heard his cover of Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep.” That being said, it DOES make me like him more…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrQ4njrnnsI[/youtube]

When David Letterman had eight heart attacks, apparently Elvis Costello filled in for him one night and introduced himself as the musical guest. This is why YouTube exists, folks…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XYFJUP84lE[/youtube]

If you’re not listening to Michael Franti, this is on you at this point. Get on it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh-8mw9MKbQ[/youtube]

Seeing Pat McGee playing solo makes me wonder what Pat McGee Band is doing. That being said, he’s pretty good on his own too…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzTL2woRzrI[/youtube]

9. Harford County Restaurant Week continues (Tuesday & Wednesday throughout Hazzard County)

Ho.ly. Crap.

You mean to tell me there’s a Chiapparelli’s in Havre de Grace and NONE of you a-holes told me?

Look, it will never replace the O.G. in Little Italy (which is actually closer to me), but it’s a potential refreshing change of pace when I need a fix.

Yes, I have an addiction…to Chips salad.

chips

What are everyone’s plans Wednesday night? I’m in if you are…

8. Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena)

You might not know this, but I’m a HUGE fan of the Roller Girls.

It isn’t just because the first time I went to see them I was greeted with Chipotle and Pabst Blue Ribbon, although I will admit it helped.

It’s also about the players’ names. For example…

Minnie Piledriver
Reckless Ndangerment
Frenzy Lohan
Duchess of Torque
Flo Shizzle
Coach Ballbricker
Dolly Rocket
Joy Collision
Pistol Whip

I offer one solid dollar for someone to come up with my own CCRG name. Not just a dollar…a SOLID dollar. Keep that in mind.

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips 400 (Sunday 1pm from Cambridge Township, MI live on TNT); IndyCar Series Milwaukee 225 (Sunday 3:30pm from West Allis, WI live on ABC)

I know some people are into this, but I’ve made no mistake that NASCAR and Auto Racing in general just aren’t for me.

You know how it WOULD be for me? If Rick From Reisterstown could call the races!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlmJsosYi_Y[/youtube]

Rick took the collar this year when Ruler On Ice claimed the Belmont instead of Shackleford. Seriously though, if you took your betting advice from Rick-I’ve got nothing for you.

6. NHL Playoffs: Stanley Cup Finals-Boston Bruins vs. Vancouver Canucks (Game 7 if necessary Wednesday 8pm from Vancouver live on NBC)

You’re thinking to yourself “Glenn, why is a potential Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Finals only number 7 on your list instead of being number 1???”

The answer is-of course-because if there’s a God (and I believe there will be), the Canucks will parade around Beantown with the Cup Monday night and Vancouver will simply be recovering from a 48 hour hangover Wednesday night.

If they win (either Monday OR Wednesday), we all agree that as a show of thanks for vanquishing the evil from Boston, we dress up like this on Friday, right?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4ICMRAUEoE[/youtube]

5. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour Wimbledon (Opening Round Monday 7am from Wimbledon, ENG live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com)

The thing I like most about the fortnight is the chance to really watch the prettiest players in the sport go at it…

roddick

What did you think I was going to do? Post a picture of Caroline Wozniacki? This is the one grand slam event that Andy Roddick is actually (kinda) good at! Let me have SOMETHING!

By the way, I’m going to REALLY go out on a limb and say Rafael Nadal wins Wimbledon this year. Stunning, I know-but I hear he’s pretty good.

4. Soccer: Team USA vs. Guadeloupe (Tuesday 9pm from Kansas City live on Fox Soccer Channel); MLS-DC United @ Real Salt Lake (Saturday 9pm from Salt Lake City live on Comcast SportsNet)

What happened to Team USA against Panama Saturday night in Tampa Bay was nothing short of a debacle. Playing Van Halen tunes won’t make me feel a THING better about it, despite what some of your wisenheimers have tried doing on Facebook (search “Glenn Clark”) and Twitter (@WNST & @GlennClarkWNST).

There was SOMETHING good that came out of soccer this weekend though. If you haven’t seen the goal Eric Hassli scored for the Vancouver Whitecaps yet, thank me later.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8Vfdx7LEh4&feature=player_embedded#at=48[/youtube]

3. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Grand Prix Heavyweight Tournament-Allistair Overeem vs. Fabricio Werdum (Saturday 10pm from Dallas live on Showtime)

The disappointing part about Saturday’s event is that Gina Carano had to pull out of her fight.

Yes, that sentence WAS written in a way that would allow me to giggle about using the words “Gina Carano” and “pull out”.

I’d tell you more about the guys who ARE fighting, but wouldn’t we all just rather take another gander at the infamous weigh-in picture???

carano

Yep. Pants smaller.

2. Pro Wrestling: WWE Capitol Punishment (Sunday 8pm from Verizon Center live on Pay-Per-View); WWE Monday Night Raw (Monday 7:15from from 1st Mariner Arena live on USA Network)

Here’s the deal. Kelly Kelly will be in Baltimore Monday. If somehow she manages to leave town Tuesday, we’ve all failed.

kellykelly

1. Golf: PGA Tour/USGA U.S. Open (Thursday & Friday 10am & 5pm live on ESPN, 3pm live on NBC Saturday 2pm Sunday 1:30pm live on NBC. All golf from Congressional Country Club in Bethesda)

Harrison Frazar comes into the event red hot, having won the St. Jude Classic in Memphis. That inspires the question, “who the hell is Harrison Frazar?”

It inspires the additional, significantly more important question “did Harrison Frazar manage to get his family back after the win?”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9GwtRsOYSI[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Morning Reaction Tuesday Top 7: Top 7 ESPN Documentaries We’d Like to Make

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Morning Reaction Tuesday Top 7: Top 7 ESPN Documentaries We’d Like to Make

Posted on 15 March 2011 by Glenn Clark

In honor of Sunday night’s premiere of the ESPN documentary “The Fab Five”, today’s Tuesday Top 7 topic was “The Top 7 ESPN Documentaries We’d Like to Make.”

Glenn Clark’s list…

7. “The Juan Dixon Story”

dixon

6. “What happened to Andy (Roddick)?”

andy

5. “Heroes of the Army/Navy Game”

armynavy

4. “The Stunning Rise of Dana White”

danawhite

3. “Barbaro’s Last Race”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJZlAjNTd9Q[/youtube]

2. “America’s Grey Cup: How Baltimore Accepted the CFL”

cfl

1. “The Mighty Ducks: Where Are They Now?”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZyVF1glhAfk[/youtube]

Drew Forrester’s list…

7. “The Life and Times of Russian Hockey Players”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHko4ikCzG8[/youtube]

6. “Manny Being Manny: The Manny Ramirez Story”

manny

5. “Dennis Rodman: The Worm”

rodman

4. “The True Story of Dr. Anthony Galea”

galea

3. “The Decline of JaMarcus Russell”

jamarcus

2. “The Greatest Trio Since Rush: Tom Glavine, Greg Maddux & John Smoltz”

braves

1. “The Stunning Fall of Tiger Woods”

tiger

If you missed the explanation of why these players made the list on “The Morning Reaction” Tuesday on AM1570 WNST, hit the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net!

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 28 February 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Honda Classic (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Palm Beach Gardens, FL); Harlem Globetrotters (Saturday 1pm Verizon Center; Friday & Saturday 7:30pm Patriot Center); Soccer: MISL-Chicago Riot @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena); Boxing: Zab Judah vs. Kaizer Mabuza (Saturday 9pm from Newark, NJ live on Pay-Per-View)

10. Marc Broussard (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Ra Ra Riot (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Rev Theory & Pop Evil (Friday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); Jah Works (Friday 7pm Bourbon Street), Ice Cube (Monday 8pm Bourbon Street); Tim Reynolds (Sunday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Good Charlotte (Friday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Scissor Sisters (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Get Up Kids (Tuesday 8pm Black Cat DC); Randy Newman (Wednesday 8pm Strathmore); Leon Redbone (Thursday 8pm Barns at Wolf Trap); Jeffrey Ross (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); 127 Hours” and “Faster” available on DVD & Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

Marc Broussard makes me wish I wasn’t spending the week in Sarasota. Damnit!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuWPseegaKw[/youtube]

If you listen to “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST (and why the hell wouldn’t you?), you know Drew Forrester and I are ALL IN when it comes to Ra Ra Riot. They’re strong.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVun8pRhNQQ[/youtube]

Good Charlotte may be from Waldorf, but they’re huge Baltimore Orioles fans. Benji Madden and Joel Madden in fact BOTH have O’s tattoos if I remember right. Either way, Festival Song will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4t54bPUvmg[/youtube]

I only know one song the Get Up Kids have ever done, and it was a cover of The Cure. But damn was it good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukcDTCRerIk[/youtube]

9. Tennis-Davis Cup: Team USA vs. Chile (Friday 9am & 12pm, Saturday 10am, Sunday 9am & 12pm from Santiago, Chile live on Tennis Channel)

I’d be much more excited about the Davis Cup if:

1-It were on a real TV channel. No offense Tennis Channel, but I’m the biggest tennis fan on the planet and even I don’t have the Tennis Channel.

2-The great American hope wasn’t Andy Roddick. I’ll enjoy the eye candy, but winning in Memphis two weeks ago doesn’t exactly make me suddenly hopeful he’s due for a career turnaround.

Of course, if A-Rod’s flu symptoms were to keep him out, we’d be left with John Isner.

ISN’T ANYONE IN THIS COUNTRY A GOOD TENNIS PLAYER?!?!?!?!?

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Kobalt Tools 400 (Sunday 3pm from Las Vegas live on FOX)

I can think of a few things I’d rather do in Vegas than watch Jeff Gordon drive a car.

A-Piss away money on Freemont Street while watching bad cover bands.

B-Drink alcohol out of a football…

football

C-Almost anything involving Holly Madison…

holly

7. Women’s College Basketball: ACC  Tournament-Maryland vs. Georgia Tech/Virginia Tech winner (Friday 11am from Greensboro, NC live on Fox Sports Net nationally, Comcast SportsNet locally)

Well Terps fans…if you want to be excited about March Madness…I’d suggest you learn the names of the players on Brenda Frese’s team.

First name to learn? Diana Tchatchouang.

tchatch

What is Tchatchouang French for, you ask? Actually, Tchatchouang is French for “HUH?!?!”

6. NBA: Golden State Warriors @ Washington Wizards (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Minnesota Timberwolves @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Detroit Pistons (Sunday 6pm from Auburn Hills, MI live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS)

Baltimore Terps fans-you don’t think things could be worse? You COULD root for the ‘Zards!

I don’t know how to polish this. The Wizards are unbelievably awful. It’s almost impossible. Making it worse this week, the teams playing the Wizards are awful too.

Why should you watch one of these games? Ummm….maybe their mascot G-Man will do something cool???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfBXFRSt4pE[/youtube]

5. High School Basketball: Baltimore Catholic League Championship Game-John Carroll vs. St. Frances (Tuesday 7pm Reitz Arena)

I LIKE the fact that the Patriots and the Panthers are getting together for their fourth showdown of the season.

I LOVE any sentence that includes the words “Catholic” and “school”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCgc-N7J2Mo[/youtube]

(Note-Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson unlikely to be at BCL title game Tuesday.)

4. NHL: New York Islanders @ Washington Capitals (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), St. Louis Blues @ Washington Capitals (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ Florida Panthers (Sunday 5pm from Sunrise, FL live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ Tampa Bay Lightning (Monday 7pm from Tampa live on VERSUS)

The trade deadline in the National Hockey League was Monday, and I was as surprised as anyone to see that the Caps dealt Sidney Ponson to the San Francisco Cows for Darin Blood.

(I think I just combined the Ponson and Joe Carter deals into one. God it sucks being an Orioles fan.)

All of those trades and they didn’t come up with Kenny Wu? I’m reminded of why I don’t root for the damn team…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxSY4vClA4U[/youtube]

3. College Lacrosse: Bellarmine @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST); Towson @ Mt. St. Mary’s (Saturday 1pm Waldron Family Stadium)http://wnst.net/wordpress/glennclark/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=10574; Princeton @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 1pm from Homewood Field live on ESPNU); Bellarmine @ Maryland (Monday 3pm Byrd Stadium); Hood @ Stevenson (Wednesday 3pm Caves Athletic Complex)

With the Tigers and Blue Jays on the same field Saturday, there’s probably someone who can discover the cure for the common cold.

It’s too highfalutin for me. I’d rather look at picture of Kayla Love from Busted Coverage. Oh look…

kaylalove

2. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC on VERSUS-Diego Sanchez vs. Martin Kampmann (Thursday 9pm from Louisville live on VERSUS), Strikeforce Columbus: Dan Henderson vs. Rafael “Feijao” Calvacante (Saturday 10pm from Columbus live on Showtime)

Boy, I miss the days when it was a big deal when “Hendo” faught. Probably won’t be the case on Saturday night.

Martin Kampmann will join Thyrl Nelson and John Rallo on “The MMA Report” Tuesday at 1:30pm on AM1570 WNST. Then he’ll fight a guy who craps in the woods…honestly…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KuHz0IEPxQ[/youtube]

1. College Basketball: Maryland @ Miami (Wednesday 7pm from Coral Gables, FL live on ESPNU), Virginia @ Maryland (Saturday 2pm from Comcast Center live on ACC Network-WNUV 54 in Charm City); Morgan State @ Coppin State (Thursday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); MAAC Tournament-Loyola vs. St. Peter’s (Saturday 2pm from Bridgeport, Conn. live on MSG Network); America East Tournament-UMBC vs. Binghamton (Thursday 8:15pm from Hartford, Conn. streamed live at AmericaEast.com); CAA Tournament-Towson vs. Drexel (Friday 2:30pm from Richmond, streamed live at CAASports.com)

It’s march and I’m mad!

That’s mostly because the Terrapins have absolutely no shot at going to the NCAA Tournament.

Oh well. UVa still sucks. Except for Dave Matthews Band…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCBlvTfuoPQ[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Morning Reaction Tuesday Top 7-Top 7 “Coolest” Athletes of All Time

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Morning Reaction Tuesday Top 7-Top 7 “Coolest” Athletes of All Time

Posted on 01 February 2011 by Glenn Clark

In honor of the copy of GQ Drew picked up at BWI Airport Sunday, today’s Tuesday Top 7 Topic was “The Top 7 Coolest Athletes of All Time”…

Glenn Clark’s Top 7…

7. Landon Donovan

landon

6. Wayne Gretzky

gretzky

5. Andy Roddick

roddick

4. Shaquille O’Neal

shaq

3. Joe Namath

namath

2. Muhammad Ali

ali

1. Andre Agassi

agassi

Drew Forrester’s Top 7…

7. Greg Maddux

maddux

6. Dan Wilcox

wilcox

5. Johnny Damon

damon

4. Mike Tomlin

tomlin

3. Derek Jeter

jeter

2. Grayson “The Professor” Boucher

boucher

1. Fred Couples

fredcouples

If you missed the explanation of why these players made the list on “The Morning Reaction” Tuesday on AM1570 WNST, hit the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net!

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 24 January 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Devon Alexander vs. Timothy Bradley (Saturday 10pm from Pontiac, MI live on HBO), Friday Night Fights: Cristobal Arreola vs. Joey Abell (Friday 10pm from Temecula, CA live on ESPN2); Women’s College Basketball: Wake Forest @ Maryland (Friday 8:30pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Longwood @ Maryland (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center); Soccer: MISL-Chicago Riot @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena); High School Basketball: Perry Hall @ Woodlawn (Wednesday 6:30pm), Catonsville @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ Broadneck (Wednesday 5pm); NBA: Denver Nuggets @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Oklahoma City Thunder (Friday 8pm from Oklahoma City live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Memphis Grizzlies (Saturday 8pm from Memphis live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Dallas Mavericks (Monday 8:30pm from Dallas live on Comcast SportsNet)

10. Liz Phair (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Anberlin (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Umphrey’s McGee (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); Less Than Jake (Thursday 7:30pm Sonar); Mike Doughty (Thursday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Bacon Brothers (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head On Stage); Adema (Tuesday 6:15pm Jaxx); Donnell Rawlings (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Kathleen Madigan (Thursday 7:30pm Birchmere); 2011 Grammy Nominees CD available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday); “The Mechanic” released in theaters (Friday); “Secretariat” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

A word to describe Anberlin? “Underrated”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjE_2fFMnG0[/youtube]

I haven’t always been a big fan of Less Than Jake, but their David Cassidy cover was pretty cool…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTteO9TxKN4[/youtube]

I LOVED Soul Coughing. Even solo, I STILL love Mike Doughty…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qktIKYZJYs8[/youtube]

There are plenty of songs on the Grammy Nominees CD. Only one of them is worth of being considered the best of the year. Language NSFW…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc0mxOXbWIU[/youtube]

9. Monster Jam (Friday 7:30pm, Saturday 2pm & 7:30pm Verizon Center)

My friend Brady Gardiner from MLB Network Radio commented on Facebook that if you attend the 2:00 edition of Monster Jam Saturday in DC, you’ll have time to make it to the 8:00 performance of “Cymbeline” at the Shakespeare Theatre Company next door.

Look…the only thing I know about Monster Jam is that my cousins’ kids really dig Grave Digger. I don’t blame them. It’s pretty cool…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LIifYLOcz0[/youtube]

8. Maryland State Police Polar Bear Plunge (Saturday all day Sandy Point State Park), Baltimore Boat Show (Thursday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

A couple of things I know about the Polar Bear Plunge.

1-Joe Flacco will be there. So if you’re a Ravens fan…or just a fan of eyebrows…you’re in luck.

2-DJ Pauly D will be there. You know, the guy from Jersey Shore. So you know what time it is…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjVkplphsBU[/youtube]

And 3-I don’t care how cold it is. There will be girls in bikinis. Do I really need to share a picture for you to understand why that’s a good thing?

7. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce-Nick Diaz vs. Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos (Saturday 10pm from San Jose live on Showtime)

Also on Saturday night’s Strikeforce card is Herschel Walker, facing some dude named Scott Carson. If there was more for me to share here, I’d share it.

In other MMA news, Allison Diehl is a Hooters girl who was recently named a UFC ring card girl. That’s MUCH more interesting…

ufcgirl

6. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Atlanta Thrashers (Wednesday 7pm from Atlanta live on Comcast SportsNet); Honda NHL SuperSkills (Saturday 7pm from Raleigh, NC live on VERSUS), NHL All-Star Game (Sunday 4pm from Raleigh live on VERSUS)

While the Skills competition tends to be better than the ASG on the ice, I doubt I’ll be watching the Skills competition either.

That is unless they’ve added “Knucklepuck” to hockey’s Saturday night event. If they’ve added Knucklepuck, I’m IN…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqq-glymrRs[/youtube]

5. NFL: Pro Bowl (Sunday 7pm from Honolulu live on FOX)

I know you’re probably thinking to yourself, “The Pro Bowl stinks.”

Well…you’re right. The Pro Bowl is terrible, like most all other All-Star Games.

But at the same time, it’s the only football game on TV Sunday. I mean, what the hell else are you going to watch? Disney on Ice?

And who knows, maybe the Backstreet Boys will show up again! Nothing says “Pro Bowl is awesome” quite like a BSB halftime show…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDWol7C7jlQ[/youtube]

4. Pro Wrestling: WWE Royal Rumble (Sunday 8pm from Boston live on Pay-Per-View)

Holy crap there are 40 guys in the Rumble this year? In no ways did I think this event could be cooler than it was in my childhood, but it actually sounds like it might be.

I know this much as a fact. There could have been 30, 40, or 200 men in the Royal Rumble in 1995. Shawn Michaels was winning the damn thing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4tZz8qUPDA[/youtube]

(Edit from GMC: The happiest 11 year old on the face of the planet resided in Kingville, MD that night.)

3. College Football: Senior Bowl (Saturday 4pm from Mobile, AL live on NFL Network)

Yep, I’ll be watching. Nope, I won’t be wearing pants.

Why would you even ask???

A couple names to follow during the Senior Bowl include Allen Bailey & Leonard Hankerson from Miami, as well as Mark Herzlich from Boston College.

This is always a good news/bad news day for the city of Mobile. The good news is that they get to host a great event. The bad news is that they know there won’t be anything else happening there all year that anyone will want to attend.

Well…other than this….

pecan

You see…that’s an event I’d actually think about attending…

2. College Basketball: Maryland @ Virginia (Thursday 7pm from Charlottesville, VA live on Comcast SportsNet), Maryland @ Georgia Tech (Sunday 7:45pm from Atlanta live on Comcast SportsNet); Norfolk State @ Morgan State (Saturday 1pm from Hill Field House live on ESPNU), North Carolina A&T @ Morgan State (Monday 7:30pm Hill Field House); North Carolina A&T @ Coppin State (Saturday 4pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex), Norfolk State @ Coppin State (Monday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); Albany @ UMBC (Wednesday 7pm RAC Arena); Towson @ George Mason (Wednesday 7pm Patriot Center); Siena @ Loyola (Friday 7pm Reitz Arena), Iona @ Loyola (Sunday 12pm Reitz Arena)

Have I mentioned recently how much I freaking DESPISE those idiot Wahoos at UVa…

uva

Ugh…just look at those clowns. They even ruin what might be otherwise attractive women.

Your ties stink. Auld Lang Syne is not a fight song. Dave Matthews Band should be ashamed to call you home.

That it all.

1. Tennis: Australian Open (Tuesday 12am & 7pm, Wednesday 9:30pm, Friday 3:30am, Saturday-Women’s Final-3am, Sunday-Men’s Final-3am live on ESPN2; Wednesday 7pm, Friday-Women’s Doubles Final-11pm, Sunday-Men’s Doubles Final-5:30am, Monday-Mixed Doubles Final-12:30am live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from Melbourne, AUS)

I will admit that I didn’t stay up late/wake up early to watch Andy Roddick Saturday night. I’ve done that too many times in my life to have the stomach to do it again.

So when I woke up Sunday morning, I immediately raced to WNST.net to try to get the details.

I should have already known.

So with A-Rod once again meeting an early (and pathetic) demise in a Grand Slam event, I’m left searching for other reasons to watch.

Fortunately, the second most attractive tennis player in the world is still in the draw…

wozniacki

Now if Caroline Wozniacki doesn’t win, I’ll be forced to drawn my sorrows in 3-44 Foster’s.


Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Games of 2010

Posted on 30 December 2010 by Glenn Clark

Yep, it’s another list. It’s the end of the year. It’s what I do.

This one is also compiled by the law offices of…Glenn Clark.

This used to be an annual ESPN SportsCenter special every year.

All sports, everywhere…what were the best games?

Here’s my list.

10. WEC 53: Anthony Pettis def. Benson Henderson (December 16 Glendale, AZ)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxLnqWBi4GU[/youtube]

The easy choice for fight of the year (RIGHT?) is remembered much more for how it finished than anything that happened for the better part of three rounds.

This was a really good fight BEFORE Anthony Pettis channeled Keanu Reeves with a kick that could have been taken right out of The Matrix.

It was awesome.

The final curtain for WEC before merging with UFC provided the greatest moment in the promotion’s history; and the greatest moment in Mixed Martial Arts in 2010.

9. NCAA Lacrosse Final Four: Duke 14, Virginia 13 (May 29 Baltimore, MD)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3g2YHrYETk[/youtube]

As I wrote in my “Top 10 Local Sports Moments of the Year” roundup, this game was the definition of an “Instant Classic.”

The buildup that went into the game (including the Yeardley Love tragedy and George Huguely fallout in Charlottesville; the presence of the last class of “Super Seniors” at Duke following the 2006 rape allegation scandal) was intense.

Amazingly, the game lived up to the hype…and then some.

8. Breeders’ Cup Classic (November 6 Louisville, KY)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Et15M6wsPo[/youtube]

Usually horse racing has NO relevance outside of Triple Crown season. This year horse racing was actually MORE relevant outside of Triple Crown season.

The buildup that surrounded Zenyatta’s quest to finish off a perfect record at Churchill Downs was intense, yet once again it was lived up to.

Never before has a favored competitor lost…but yet somehow found themselves praised as if they had won. The celebration of the late charge from the filly was almost poetic in nature, with even regularly irreverent folks like Deadspin waxing poetic in their analysis.

The movie would have been better had Zenyatta managed to get past Blame.

Then again…maybe not.

7. NFL Playoffs: NFC Wild Card Round-Arizona Cardinals 51, Green Bay Packers 45 (OT) (January 10 Glendale, AZ)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJLrxjq5pJg[/youtube]

Holy hell.

I have to admit that I didn’t get to see this game the first time around, as sadly I was on a bus on the way back from Foxborough after the Ravens had defeated the Patriots.

I’m glad the NFL Network exists so that folks like me get a second chance.

This was incredible drama, with Aaron Rodgers matching Kurt Warner right up until the final overtime fumble.

It was fitting that this allowed us one more opportunity to celebrate Warner before he would retire. An improbable future Hall of Famer; Warner gave us a lot of memories. This was a great one to tie a career together.

6. MLB Playoffs: NLDS Game 1-Philadelphia Phillies 4, Cincinnati Reds 0 (October 7 Philadelphia, PA)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=On90ENNAQIg[/youtube]

A lot of folks should feel proud to have been involved with games that are on this list.

The Cincinnati Reds probably shouldn’t include themselves in that group.

In fairness to the Reds, Roy Halladay would have been dominant against just about ANY team at Citizens Bank Ballpark that night. Maybe not no-hitter dominant, but dominant nonetheless.

For the rest of eternity, Halladay will be able to hear his name with Don Larsen’s every time a pitcher flirts with a postseason no-no. It’s a pretty cool club to join.

Baseball doesn’t provide us as many of these “hairs on your arms raised” moments as it once did-but when they come around, they’re still pretty special.

This one definitely qualifies as special.

5. NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship Game: Duke 61, Butler 59 (April 5 Indianapolis, IN)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bk8YWU8C6KY[/youtube]

Drew Forrester and I were discussing this recently on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST.

Had Gordon Heyward’s shot gone in at the buzzer…would it have been the greatest moment in the history of sports?

Honestly.

The Bulldogs’ run to the Final Four (which was of course in their hometown in Indy) was so improbable it HAD to be compared to the movie “Hoosiers.”

If the shot had gone in…this movie would have been better.

What makes me think the shot would have been the greatest moment in the history of sport is the fact that the shot was MISSED yet we still put it in lore.

How would history have been different had David stood toe-to-toe with Goliath for 10 rounds only to see a final slingshot toss just miss?

4. Wimbledon: John Isner def. Nicholas Mahut 6-4, 3-6, 6-7 (7), 7-6 (3), 70-68 (June 24-25 Wimbledon, England)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzwWDzgNJAc[/youtube]

Despite the surreal (I’m not kidding, I’m still in a state of disbelief about this epic clash) nature of this showdown, it WASN’T better than the Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal final two years ago. In fact, it wasn’t better than Federer’s final clash with Andy Roddick in 2009 either.

But it was an AMAZING two days.

Two players no one had ever heard of (not named Glenn Clark anyway) caught the attention of the entire world, nearly shutting down Twitter in the process.

It wasn’t always high-level tennis; but it was about impossible to comprehend.

It was MORE meaningful because it just so happened to come on the heels of #3…

3. World Cup: Team USA 1, Algeria 0 (June 24 Pretoria, South Africa)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jbn3rOPmR9w[/youtube]

As far as “best moment of the year” is concerned, the video above is all of the evidence you would need to certify this as your winner.

When Landon Donovan finally delivered salvation to the Yanks, strangers hugged strangers across the country.

A number of those strangers won’t find themselves watching soccer again until 2014.

The game wasn’t necessarily as good from start to finish as others on this list, but it was damn compelling. The storyline WOULD have been an incredible amount of missed opportunities for the Americans had Tim Howard never hurled a football toss towards midfield in stoppage time.

Of course, that wouldn’t have made this list.

2. Super Bowl XLIV: New Orleans Saints 31, Indianapolis Colts 17 (February 7 Miami, FL)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tllnSO9JOd0[/youtube]

As football fans, we’ve been treated to a number of really good Super Bowls recently.

This was absolutely amongst the best.

The game was compelling; with Drew Brees outdueling Peyton Manning. The drama was better; as Sean Peyton’s decision to go for an onsides kick to start the second half will be remembered amongst the all time great calls in football history.

The celebration…and the belief that winning the Super Bowl truly represented “hope” in the city of New Orleans…made this even better.

1. Olympics Ice Hockey Gold Medal Game: Canada 3, Team USA 2 (February 28 Vancouver, ALB)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_koQujQ8Vg[/youtube]

We were in the airport in Indianapolis (it was the weekend of the NFL Scouting Combine) as this game was happening.

Every human being in the airport was GLUED to a television.

Had it been Patrick Kane scoring the game winner instead of Sidney Crosby, there would be no argument about what was the game of the year.

In fact, we would probably think of Ryan Miller in a similar way we think of Jim Craig.

With no offense to the NHL…they could never give us this.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 23 November 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-NHL: Washington Capitals @ Carolina Hurricanes (Wednesday 7pm from Raleigh live on Comcast SportsNet), Tampa Bay Lightning @ Washington Capitals (Friday 5pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Carolina Hurricanes @ Washington Capitals (Sunday 5pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NHL Network)

10. Ozzy Osbourne (Monday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Charm City Devils (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Jah Works (Saturday 8pm Rams Head Live); Crack The Sky (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Citizen Cope (Tuesday & Wednesday 7:30pm Birchmere, Friday 8:30pm, Saturday 1:30pm & 8:30pm Rams Head On Stage); Carbon Leaf (Wednesday 6pm 9:30 Club), Donovan Frankenreiter (Thursday 8pm 9:30 Club), Cyndi Lauper (Saturday 6pm 9:30 Club), KT Tunstall (Saturday 10pm 9:30 Club), Brandon Flowers (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Shelby Lynne (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Lisa Lampanelli (Saturday 7pm Warner Theatre); Kanye West “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday); Inception“, “Despicable Me” and “Shrek Forever After” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

I have an attorney friend (I should probably have more of those) who has an extra ticket to see Ozzy Monday. She’s quizzing her friends about Ozzy to see who will get the ticket. The first question is one of those “just don’t answer this the wrong way” questions. It is: “What is your favorite Ozzy song?” Rumor has it there’s someone who actually DIDN’T answer “War Pigs.” Fine by me, I’m a step closer to having a ticket!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xtqy4DTHGqg[/youtube]

No SR-71 Thanksgiving show this year, but I’d be MORE than happy to see CCD instead. I’m digging “Best of the Worst”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7XhpOrrkAM[/youtube]

Citizen Cope could do just about ANYTHING and I’d be in. But if I was headed to Annapolis to see him-I’d be hoping for “Pablo Picasso”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d4O02BJz74[/youtube]

There are a lot of rumors that this will be one of the better disc’s in Kanye’s career. I’ll admit that “Devil In A New Dress” makes me hopeful…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D55rDDvu3n4[/youtube]

9. Glenn Clark’s Thanksgiving Plans (Wednesday-Saturday)

And seriously-I think I’ve got a win.

On Wednesday, I’ll appease a roommate and we’ll watch Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Calling it a classic doesn’t really do it justice. (Clip VERY NSFW!)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S5o8DFfYHS4[/youtube]

Thursday night is easy. Pumpkin Pie, white wine and Home Alone. It is what it is…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dGOfFbzvq4[/youtube]

And after everything calms down Saturday, my favorite part of Turkey Day begins. You know, the part where I slab turkey, mashed potatoes and BBQ sauce on bread and forget the words “calorie intake” mean anything.

tgiving

8. Soccer-World Cup Qualifying (Women’s): Italy @ Team USA (Saturday 2pm from Bridgeview, IL live on ESPN3.com), College Soccer-NCAA Tournament: Penn State @ Maryland (Sunday 4pm Ludwig Field)

I’m so TORN here!

We all know I love the red, white & blue. And since the greatest American women’s soccer moment involved stripping, I PARTICULARLY love American women’s soccer.

But this is Italy we’re talking about. The land of my forefathers. The land that taught me that talking with my hands is as important as talking with my lips, and that my lips are more made for kissing.

It’s also the land that gave us “The Situation”! How can we root against them?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zT9p1vnBjo[/youtube]

7. Table Tennis: JOOLA North American Tennis Championships (Friday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

I was going to simply say “I’m picking Forrest Gump” and leave it at that, but apparently the former Alabama KR is not playing this year. I’m just as surprised as you.

Seriously-I love playing ping-pong, but these people are freaking NUTS.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8IVASo0umU[/youtube]

WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!? WOW!

6. Tennis: Barclays ATP World Tour Finals (Tuesday-Saturday 1pm, Sunday 3pm from London live on Tennis Channel)

FINALLY! Some eye candy for the blog!!!!!!

andyroddick

Maybe not all of you are as big of Andy Roddick fans as I am, but…ummm…deal with it.

5. NBA: Philadelphia 76ers @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Atlanta Hawks (Thursday 8pm from Atlanta live on TNT), Orlando Magic @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV), Washington Wizards @ Miami Heat (Monday 7:30pm from Miami live on Comcast SportsNet)

I haven’t been following basketball in a while, do we still hate the Heat because of LeBron James?

Sorry, I just don’t pay as much attention as I probably should.

Oh and also…do you think Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp will finally get the Seattle Supersonics past the Chicago Bulls this year? That’s a hell of a combo they’ve got there in the Emerald City…

4. College Football: North Carolina State @ Maryland (Saturday 3:30pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPN2)

Yes, the ACC Championship Game is out of the picture. But beating the Wolfpack Saturday might very well be the difference in the Terps going to a bowl game in Nashville or Charlotte instead of ending up in a bowl game at RFK Stadium.

Let’s think about that a bit. Music City gave us Kings of Leon…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kQUjwv2R1g[/youtube]

The Queen City gave us Anthony Hamilton…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4LVf9qdFYA[/youtube]

And DC gave us…ummm….Rod Strickland?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XTyNwkZwCzg[/youtube]

3. College Basketball: Delaware State @ Maryland (Tuesday 8pm Comcast Center), Elon @ Maryland (Friday 8pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet); UMBC @ Coppin State (Wednesday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); Loyola @ Morgan State (Monday 7pm Hill Field House); Navy @ Towson (Wednesday 7pm Towson Center)

I hate it when local teams play against each other. I mean, how do I pick between Randy Monroe’s Retrievers or Fang Mitchell’s Eagles? And how do I pick between Jimmy Patsos’ Greyhounds or Todd Bozeman’s Bears?

It’s like trying to pick what Thanksgiving dessert I enjoy more:
spp
pumpkinpie
pecanpie

You know what? I’m not picking. Good luck to ALL of the local teams this week, and please bring me one of each type of pie. MMM….pie….

2. High School Football-MPSSAA Playoffs: Broadneck @ Henry A. Wise (Saturday 1pm), Urbana @ Gaithersburg (Friday 7pm), Wilde Lake @ Damascus (Friday 7pm), Huntingtown @ Franklin (Friday 7pm), Eastern Tech @ Middletown (Friday 7pm), McDonough @ Queen Anne’s (Friday 7pm), Fort Hill @ Dunbar (Saturday 1pm Poly High School), Brunswick @ Havre de Grace (Friday 7pm); Turkey Bowl: Calvert Hall vs. Loyola Blakefield (Thursday 10am from M&T Bank Stadium live on ABC2)

Here’s what Thursday’s annual showdown between the Cardinals and Dons means to those of us in Baltimore with no MIAA ties.

You see, when you’re growing up-Calvert Hall/Loyola is simply the game you flip over to for a minute after Santa Claus strolls through New York in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

After you turn 21 and discover the “true” meaning of Thanksgiving Eve, Calvert Hall/Loyola becomes a game you can’t POSSIBLY wake up early enough to watch before stuffing your face with enough food to make you forget about your hangover.

As a side note, let’s go Franklin Indians again Friday night. You knock Ken Brinkman and North Harford High School out of the playoffs, you get EVERY ounce of support possible from me.

Up yours, Brinkman.

1. NFL: Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 4:15pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on FOX); New England Patriots @ Detroit Lions (Thursday 12:30pm from Detroit live on CBS), New Orleans Saints @ Dallas Cowboys (Thursday 4:15pm from Arlington, TX live on FOX), Cincinnati Bengals @ New York Jets (Thursday 8:20pm from East Rutherford, NJ live on NFL Network)

As we gather around televisions Thursday to enjoy the annual celebration that is watching the Lions get their asses kicked, I’d like to take some time to remember the true meaning of the day.

It is important that we give thanks for the many wonderful things that have happened this year.

For example, let’s give thanks that Frank Walker now plays for the Minnesota Vikings.

And let’s give thanks that the McRib is back. It’s not my thing anymore, but I really do get it.

And finally, let’s give thanks that Amanda Harrington forgot to grab a bra before snapping this picture. (Thanks Busted Coverage!)

amandaharrington

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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