Oh, I think it’s setting up to be a nice, looooooooooong summer in the Bronx.
I realize, after 14 years of watching our own brand of dreadful, smelly baseball, that we probably should be the last people on earth to make fun of someone else’s baseball misfortunes.
We wouldn’t want to do anything to aggravate the baseball gods, right?
Well, eff the baseball gods, that’s what I say.
They couldn’t possibly do anything worse to us here in Baltimore than they did to us from 1998 through 2011.
So, please join me this morning in LOL’ing (out loud, even) at the Yankees.
They’re 0-2, looking like they might be 8-20 in the not too distant future.
Here’s what I think has a good chance of happening — they get off to a horrible start in New York. By the end of May, they’re 17-30 and going nowhere fast. Someone in the division, maybe the Orioles, gets off to a nice 29-19 start. The Yankees open up the copy of USA Today that gets slipped under their door at the Seattle Wyndham on June 7 and see themselves at the bottom of the A.L. East, some 13.5 games behind the first place team.
Suddenly, like that scene from Caddyshack when Rodney Dangerfield takes one off the elbow after an errant tee shot hits the ball washer, C.C. Sabathia says, “Oh, my arm…”
That’s code word for: ”Aww, what the hell. We’re 13.5 games out. This team stinks. Half the club is either on crutches or Tylenol with codeine. I’ll just pack it in now and save myself for 2014.”
And then, the great collapse begins.
This just might be the year where the Yankees resemble the Beatles and finally turn into pumpkins despite all of that so-called talent they have.
You know what they say about dreamers, right?
They dream big.
So, Auburn was paying some of their football players and fudging grades to make sure their stars remained eligible?
And all along I thought Cam Newton and his Dad were on the up and up.
What do you a call a team of overpaid players who aren’t playing up to their capabilities and are on the verge of not making the post-season?
I mean, besides calling them “the Flyers”, what do you call that team?
Brendon Ayanbadejo was a useful football player, but one, like most of the Ravens who have moved on this spring, that will easily be replaced.
No offense to him, but being a really good “special teams player” is like being a really good custodian. Some people are born to paint the walls, some people are born to scrub them.
In sports, there are piano players and piano movers.
Ayanbadejo: good player, REALLY good man — but a piano mover. Anyone with a good back and big arms can move a piano.
Anyone who runs fast and doesn’t mind contact can play special teams.
Martin Erat might turn out to be a good pick-up for the Caps. Yes, he’s 31. His career calendar has probably just flipped over to October. I see the stats: he only has four goals this season. But he knows how to create offense and scoring chances. I’ve watched the Caps enough over the last two months to say this with confidence: They need better players at virtually every position. They’re not all that good offensively. And he plays offense. And, in case you haven’t noticed, the Capitals aren’t very good on defense, either. So, why not just try and outscore the other team?
I don’t know all the nooks and crannies about this Forsberg character they gave up, but I do know this much: He has as many goals in the NHL as you, me and Teddy from Hangover II.
Oh, “but Drew, he’s a #1 draft pick…” Yeah, so was Jeff Schultz of the Caps.
Prospects are just that. Like Jay-Z says, “You know why they call a project a project? – ’cuz it’s a project.”
They call prospects, prospects, because — well, you get it. They’re great when they’re playing “overseas” or they score gobs of goals in the minors…then they show up in the NHL and all the sudden their skills go bye-bye and they can’t do jack-squat.
Erat’s been a pretty decent player for a while now. Unlike the Forsberg kid, the “prospect”, Erat has done it in the NHL.
They could have done worse at the deadline…that’s all I’m saying.
Poor Gio Gonzalez.
You’ve heard of him, of course. He’s an outstanding pitcher of the Washington Nationals.
He was – inappropriately, of course – connected with the “Biogenesis” story over the off-season where a bunch of major leaguers were somehow (somehow) linked to performance enhancing drugs.
Gio was outraged that his name was linked.
In case you missed it, he hit a home run yesterday.
I can think of better ways to get the whispers to subside, GG.
Friendly wager of the day: The Astros get no-hit before Memorial Day.
Watch and see…