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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 27 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Seattle Storm @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); Arena Football: AFL Pittsburgh Power @ Orlando Predators (Friday 8pm from Orlando live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: British Columbia Lions @ Montreal Alouettes (Thursday 7:30pm from Montreal live on NFL Network), Toronto Argonauts @ Calgary Stampeders (Saturday 8pm from Calgary live on NFL Network); NBA Collective Bargaining Agreement Expires (Friday); Cycling-Tour De France (Stage 1 Saturday Stage 2 Sunday Stage 3 Monday 8am live on VERSUS)

10. R. Kelly (Friday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena/Saturday 8pm Verizon Center); Trace Adkins (Friday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Kid Cudi (Saturday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Red/Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Wednesday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); Todd Rundgren (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Matt and Kim (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club); “A Capitol Fourth” feat. Little Richard (Monday 8pm from the U.S. Capitol live on PBS); Uncle Sam Jam feat. Pat McGee Band & Blind Melon (Saturday 2pm National Harbor); Wale (Saturday 10pm Unitas Stadium), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Wednesday) and Larry Crowne (Friday) open in theaters

You can make fun of me all you want. If you don’t dig “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” you and I are simply going to have to agree to disagree…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNVguvNE7qc[/youtube]

I really feel like I should dig Kid Cudi much more than I do. All told, he’s okay…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt22KvnRSL4[/youtube]

I’ve actually seen Little Richard play once before…it was right after Maryland pasted Tennessee in the 2002 Peach Bowl. He played in the middle of downtown Atlanta, as they dropped a huge peach behind him. It kicked ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZ6h0kyqSRk[/youtube]

I don’t know how many more praises I can sing for Wale. Dude is incredible, even if he is an effing Redskins fan…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zZqtYXDeh8[/youtube]

9. 4th of July Fireworks (Monday 9:30pm Inner Harbor); 4th of July parades/fireworks throughout Baltimore County (Saturday-Monday)

I’m partial myself to the Kingsville 4th of July parade having grown up on Bradshaw Road. As a youngster, it was nice to have something to do in town on Independence Day. Or at least a refreshing change of pace from what there was to do every other day in Kingsville…

nothing

So how did we get in so much trouble????

8. Boxing: IBF/WBO/WBA Heavyweight Championship Unification-Wladimir Klitschko vs. David Haye (Saturday 4:45pm from Hamburg, GER live on HBO), Friday Night Fights-Mark Melligen vs. Sebastian Lujan (Friday 11pm from San Antonio, TX live on ESPN2)

If a heavyweight title fight is held and no one pays attention, did it really happen?

This isn’t just a “everyone has a piece of the title so we’ll fight for a tenth of it” title fight, either. This is a legitimate “heavyweight championship of the world” title fight.

And yet…crickets.

Look, if Wladimir Klitschko wants people to pay attention to his next fight, I suggest he make it a “foxy boxing” contest against Jarah Marino (Thanks Guyism)…

jarah

Hey man…I know what I have to do to get page views, Wlad might have to do the same…

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Coke Zero 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Daytona, FL live on TNT)

I was in Charles Town, West Virginia Saturday night playing the ponies to celebrate a friend’s birthday. In the 5th race, the Number 5 horse literally through its’ jockey off not even a furlong in-only to go on to “win” the race by a nose. (Without the rider the win of course did not count.)

A young man standing near the rail near our party (who I’m reasonably certain was from WV) exclaimed “I ain’t never seen the #48 car do that!

So that’s what I’ve got from the world of NASCAR this week. Oh-apparently Kurt Busch won this week’s NASCAR race. And I saw Cars 2 Friday night! While I was sitting in the theater waiting for the flick to start, I Tweeted the following (follow me on Twitter @GlennClarkWNST)…

“Out to see #Cars2 tonight. #Thingsa27yearoldwithoutkidsshouldneverTweet”

So…yep…that’s all I’ve got for NASCAR. Honestly though, what did you expect?

6. Golf: PGA Tour AT&T National (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Newton Square, PA); Champions Tour Principal Charity Classic (Friday 6:30pm Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm from West Des Moines, IA live on Golf Channel)

The National used to be an event that folks cared about because it was hosted by Tiger Woods. That was of course before Tiger Woods retired from competitive golf without having the decency to hold as much as a press conference to announce his decision.

Without Tiger, Drew Forrester will once again be the only person who cares even a little bit about the event. But since it’s near Philadelphia, it’s a great excuse to pass along this snippet of food porn…

patssteak

Look man…I’m no golf fan…but if watching a couple holes earned me a trip to Pat’s…I might be in.

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 20 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Pro Lacrosse-MLL Boston Cannons @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium); Arena Football: AFL Kansas City Command @ Utah Blaze (Friday 8pm from Salt Lake City live on NFL Network); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-John Molina vs. Robert Frankel (Friday 9pm from Temecula, CA live on ESPN2), Devon Alexander vs. Lucas Matthysse (Saturday 9:45 from St. Charles, MO live on HBO); WNBA: Indiana Fever @ Washington Mystics (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Tulsa Shock @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

10. Bad Teacher” and “Cars 2” out in theaters (Friday)

Both of these flicks appear to be watchable at worst. Bad Teacher looks particularly good, as it includes the great Jason Segel…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5ZtwbzUFZE[/youtube]

…Phyllis from “The Office”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCZIfPAWMis[/youtube]

…and of course the great Justin Timberlake…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi7gwX7rjOw[/youtube]

9. Roots Fest (Wednesday-Sunday “Highway to Nowhere”-Route 40, Franklin and N. Gilmor)

Perhaps the highlight of the event? The dialogue on the future of Baltimore…with the cast of “The Wire.”

Given the folks involved, is it safe to say that the future of Baltimore somehow involves drugs?

I’d pay ten dollars just to go and watch the guys re-enact their interrogations. Pardon the language…it’s art.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EeFa8QOq_Y[/youtube]

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Toyota/Save Mart 350 (Sunday 3pm from Sonoma, CA live on TNT); IndyCar Series Iowa Corn Indy 250 (Saturday 8pm from Newton, IA live on VERSUS)

Rex Snider said something on Twitter the other day about NASCAR TV ratings being up. I would have kept reading, but it involved NASCAR so I’m pretty sure no one cared.

Jeff Gordon recently won an event. With Cars 2 set to open soon, I will admit that I am much more concerned with how Jeff Gorvette is doing…

gorvette

7. Golf: PGA Tour Travelers Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Cromwell, Conn.); Champions Tour Dick’s Sporting Goods Open (Friday 6:30pm Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm from Endicott, NY live on Golf Channel); Wegmans LPGA Championship (Thursday & Friday 12:30pm Saturday & Sunday 4pm from Pittsford, NY live on Golf Channel)

With the U.S. Open in the books (and Rory McIlroy still making a birdie somewhere at Congressional), all of us not named Drew Forrester now go right back to doing exactly what we were doing before-not really giving a crap about golf.

You know how that would change? More Bubba Watson in overalls and “ooh-da-lolly lolly.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM2NocuEihw[/youtube]

Seriously…these guys need to make one of these videos every week, especially if Tiger Woods is going to totally stop banging whores.

I mean, what the hell else are we supposed to do? Talk about golf???

6. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC Live 4-Nate Marquardt vs. Rick Story (Sunday 9pm from Pittsburgh live on VERSUS); Strikeforce Challengers-Caros Fodor vs. James Terry (Friday 11pm from Kent, WA live on Showtime)

A couple of things. One-Is Kevin Connolly REALLY interested in making a movie about the life of one-time MMA star Kimbo Slice? REALLY? Is Mr. T available to play him???

And also-did you see this picture of Conor Heun that Bloody Elbow posted after the Strikeforce event Saturday night? Looks normal at first…but keep looking at his right arm. I’ll give you about 5 seconds before you exclaim “Ohhhhh…………”

heun

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 13 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Connecticut Sun @ Washington Mystics (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); Lacrosse: MLL Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Long Island Lizards (Thursday 7:30pm from Hempstead, NY live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Fernando Guerrero vs. Grady Brewer (Friday 9pm from Austin, TX live on ESPN2), Canelo Alvarez vs. Ryan Rhodes (Saturday 10:30pm from Guadalajara, Mexico live on HBO)

10. Sade & John Legend (Thursday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Katy Perry (Wednesday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Owl City & Mat Kearney (Saturday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Rascal Flatts (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); Patti LaBelle (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Elvis Costello & The Imposters (Wednesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Daryl Hall & John Oates (Monday 8pm Wolf Trap); Musiq Soulchild (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Michael Franti & Spearhead (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Pop Evil/Crossfade (Sunday 6pm Rams Head Live), Good Charlotte/Yellowcard (Monday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); The Bridge (Wednesday 8pm 8×10 Club); Pat McGee (Friday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head on Stage); Mark Curry (Thursday-Saturday Baltimore Comedy Factory); Aziz Ansari (Friday 7pm & 10pm Warner Theatre); “The Green Lantern” opens in theaters (Friday)

I was digging John Legend way before I ever heard his cover of Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep.” That being said, it DOES make me like him more…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrQ4njrnnsI[/youtube]

When David Letterman had eight heart attacks, apparently Elvis Costello filled in for him one night and introduced himself as the musical guest. This is why YouTube exists, folks…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XYFJUP84lE[/youtube]

If you’re not listening to Michael Franti, this is on you at this point. Get on it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh-8mw9MKbQ[/youtube]

Seeing Pat McGee playing solo makes me wonder what Pat McGee Band is doing. That being said, he’s pretty good on his own too…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzTL2woRzrI[/youtube]

9. Harford County Restaurant Week continues (Tuesday & Wednesday throughout Hazzard County)

Ho.ly. Crap.

You mean to tell me there’s a Chiapparelli’s in Havre de Grace and NONE of you a-holes told me?

Look, it will never replace the O.G. in Little Italy (which is actually closer to me), but it’s a potential refreshing change of pace when I need a fix.

Yes, I have an addiction…to Chips salad.

chips

What are everyone’s plans Wednesday night? I’m in if you are…

8. Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena)

You might not know this, but I’m a HUGE fan of the Roller Girls.

It isn’t just because the first time I went to see them I was greeted with Chipotle and Pabst Blue Ribbon, although I will admit it helped.

It’s also about the players’ names. For example…

Minnie Piledriver
Reckless Ndangerment
Frenzy Lohan
Duchess of Torque
Flo Shizzle
Coach Ballbricker
Dolly Rocket
Joy Collision
Pistol Whip

I offer one solid dollar for someone to come up with my own CCRG name. Not just a dollar…a SOLID dollar. Keep that in mind.

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips 400 (Sunday 1pm from Cambridge Township, MI live on TNT); IndyCar Series Milwaukee 225 (Sunday 3:30pm from West Allis, WI live on ABC)

I know some people are into this, but I’ve made no mistake that NASCAR and Auto Racing in general just aren’t for me.

You know how it WOULD be for me? If Rick From Reisterstown could call the races!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlmJsosYi_Y[/youtube]

Rick took the collar this year when Ruler On Ice claimed the Belmont instead of Shackleford. Seriously though, if you took your betting advice from Rick-I’ve got nothing for you.

6. NHL Playoffs: Stanley Cup Finals-Boston Bruins vs. Vancouver Canucks (Game 7 if necessary Wednesday 8pm from Vancouver live on NBC)

You’re thinking to yourself “Glenn, why is a potential Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Finals only number 7 on your list instead of being number 1???”

The answer is-of course-because if there’s a God (and I believe there will be), the Canucks will parade around Beantown with the Cup Monday night and Vancouver will simply be recovering from a 48 hour hangover Wednesday night.

If they win (either Monday OR Wednesday), we all agree that as a show of thanks for vanquishing the evil from Boston, we dress up like this on Friday, right?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4ICMRAUEoE[/youtube]

5. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour Wimbledon (Opening Round Monday 7am from Wimbledon, ENG live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com)

The thing I like most about the fortnight is the chance to really watch the prettiest players in the sport go at it…

roddick

What did you think I was going to do? Post a picture of Caroline Wozniacki? This is the one grand slam event that Andy Roddick is actually (kinda) good at! Let me have SOMETHING!

By the way, I’m going to REALLY go out on a limb and say Rafael Nadal wins Wimbledon this year. Stunning, I know-but I hear he’s pretty good.

4. Soccer: Team USA vs. Guadeloupe (Tuesday 9pm from Kansas City live on Fox Soccer Channel); MLS-DC United @ Real Salt Lake (Saturday 9pm from Salt Lake City live on Comcast SportsNet)

What happened to Team USA against Panama Saturday night in Tampa Bay was nothing short of a debacle. Playing Van Halen tunes won’t make me feel a THING better about it, despite what some of your wisenheimers have tried doing on Facebook (search “Glenn Clark”) and Twitter (@WNST & @GlennClarkWNST).

There was SOMETHING good that came out of soccer this weekend though. If you haven’t seen the goal Eric Hassli scored for the Vancouver Whitecaps yet, thank me later.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8Vfdx7LEh4&feature=player_embedded#at=48[/youtube]

3. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Grand Prix Heavyweight Tournament-Allistair Overeem vs. Fabricio Werdum (Saturday 10pm from Dallas live on Showtime)

The disappointing part about Saturday’s event is that Gina Carano had to pull out of her fight.

Yes, that sentence WAS written in a way that would allow me to giggle about using the words “Gina Carano” and “pull out”.

I’d tell you more about the guys who ARE fighting, but wouldn’t we all just rather take another gander at the infamous weigh-in picture???

carano

Yep. Pants smaller.

2. Pro Wrestling: WWE Capitol Punishment (Sunday 8pm from Verizon Center live on Pay-Per-View); WWE Monday Night Raw (Monday 7:15from from 1st Mariner Arena live on USA Network)

Here’s the deal. Kelly Kelly will be in Baltimore Monday. If somehow she manages to leave town Tuesday, we’ve all failed.

kellykelly

1. Golf: PGA Tour/USGA U.S. Open (Thursday & Friday 10am & 5pm live on ESPN, 3pm live on NBC Saturday 2pm Sunday 1:30pm live on NBC. All golf from Congressional Country Club in Bethesda)

Harrison Frazar comes into the event red hot, having won the St. Jude Classic in Memphis. That inspires the question, “who the hell is Harrison Frazar?”

It inspires the additional, significantly more important question “did Harrison Frazar manage to get his family back after the win?”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9GwtRsOYSI[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Towson Gives Nod to Nadelen as Next Lacrosse Coach

Posted on 29 May 2011 by WNST Staff

Here is the official release, courtesy of Towson’s Sports Information Department…

SHAWN NADELEN NAMED AS TOWSON HEAD MEN’S LACROSSE COACH

A Champion at All Levels as a Player and Coach, Nadelen Set to be Seventh Bench Boss in Program’s History

TOWSON, Md. – A highly-decorated and respected collegiate and professional player and current Associate Head Coach at Towson University, Shawn Nadelen has been tabbed to take over the Tiger men’s lacrosse program, Director of Athletics Mike Waddell and Interim President Marcia G. Welsh announced Sunday.

“Shawn’s championship experience at the collegiate, professional and international levels as both a player and a coach make him the ideal leader for Towson Lacrosse,” Waddell says. “When you look in his eyes, there is the intensity of a CHAMPION and a resolve which will bring the most out of our student-athletes on and off the field. He is the perfect choice to continue the coaching legacies of Carl Runk and Tony Seaman.

“While at Towson, Shawn has solidified himself as part of the collegiate lacrosse landscape here in Baltimore and across the county as this sport continues to expand from coast to coast,” Waddell added. “As someone who is still active as an athlete, Shawn has great name recognition with the lacrosse community. We look forward to keeping him and his wife, Mary, a professor at Towson, here as key members of our Tiger family.”

Nadelen just completed his seventh season at Towson and his second at the team’s associate head coach and defensive coordinator. Since Nadelen arrived at Towson in 2004, he has sparked a defensive resurgence in which the Tigers have allowed an average of nine or fewer goals four times and finished among the nation’s top 20 defenses twice, including this year when the Tigers allowed 8.23 goals per game.

During his first year at Towson, the Tigers ranked ninth in NCAA Division I in scoring defense, allowing just 7.88 goals per game. It was the Tigers’ best goals against average since the 1974 season when the Tigers won the Division II national championship with a 7.3 goals against average.

In 2006, the Tigers ranked third in the CAA with an 8.42 goals against average while holding opponents to under 10 goals nine times. In 2008, the Tigers were fourth in the CAA with an 8.48 average.

Towson has recruited and developed many talented players during Nadelen’s tenure, including 17 first-team and 17 second-team all-Colonial Athletic Association performers. In addition, eight freshmen have been selected to the CAA All-Rookie squad.

Prior to joining the Towson staff, Nadelen spent three years as an assistant coach for Coach Bill Tierney at Princeton and was a member of three consecutive NCAA Tournament teams. Princeton won the NCAA Division I title in 2002 and reached the semi-finals in 2004. 

A four-year starter and a captain for the Blue Jays as a senior, Nadelen moved from the midfield position to close defense as a junior. He led the Blue Jays to the NCAA semi-finals twice during his playing career and was named an all-American in 2001.

In addition to coaching, Nadelen has continued his playing career at the indoor and outdoor professional level. A three-time Major League Lacrosse champion with the Chesapeake Bayhawks, Nadelen is currently in his 11th season with the franchise. He is the only player to have all played in all 11 years of the team’s existence.

Nadelen also completed his 10th season as a player in the National Lacrosse League. He has played seven seasons for the Philadelphia Wings after stints with the New Jersey Storm and Minnesota Swarm.

One of his greatest highlights as a player came in the Summer of 2010 when he recovered from a serious knee injury to help Team USA win the gold medal at the Federation of International Lacrosse World Championships in England. 

A native of Rochester, N.Y., Nadelen is married to the former Mary Ciolek, who is a certified athletic trainer and a member of Towson’s kinesiology faculty. The couple resides in the Baltimore area.

“Our search committee did an outstanding job of reviewing many qualified candidates while providing great insight into what Towson Lacrosse has been and what we hope to be in the future,” Waddell says. “I want to thank these folks and the many generous coaches around the country on the high school, college and professional levels for their counsel during this process.”

The members of the search committee included:

Greg LaCour (Committee Co-Chair): Director of Development, Major Gifts at Towson and former men’s lacrosse student-athlete
Mike Harris (Committee Co-Chair): Senior Associate Director of Athletics, External Relations and men’s lacrosse oversight
Carl Runk: Retired Head Men’s Lacrosse and Football Coach, Towson University
Sonia LaMonica: Head Women’s Lacrosse Coach, Towson University
Heather Crowe: Kinesiology Professor at Towson University and men’s lacrosse Faculty Fellow
Steve Heaney: Lecturer in English at Towson University and men’s lacrosse Faculty Fellow
Norm Engelke: Cornell alumnus and two-time United States National Team World Games player
Bob Shriver: Washington College alumnus and head boys’ lacrosse coach at Boys’ Latin School
Tim Barger: Towson University alumnus and former men’s lacrosse and soccer student-athlete

“Towson University is committed to the sport of lacrosse and with the tandem of Shawn Nadelen and Sonia LaMonica leading our teams, I feel as if we have two of the finest coaches in the nation leading our Tigers on and off the field,” Waddell said.

Shawn Nadelen Coaching Timeline

Year  School  Position  Record  Highlights 

2001  Princeton University  Assistant Coach  14‐1  NCAA Champions; Ivy League Champions 

2002  Princeton University  Assistant Coach  10‐5  Ivy League Champions; NCAA Semi‐finalists 

2003  Princeton University  Assistant Coach  11‐4  Ivy League Champions; NCAA Quarter‐finalists 

2004  Towson University  Assistant Coach  11‐5  CAA Champions; NCAA Tournament 

2005  Towson University  Assistant Coach  11‐5  CAA Champions; NCAA Tournament 

2006  Towson University  Assistant Coach  8‐6 

2007  Towson University  Assistant Coach  9‐7  Tigers earn NCAA Tournament at‐large berth  

2008  Towson University  Assistant Coach  5‐9 

2009  Towson University  Assistant Coach  7‐10  CAA runners‐up 

2010  Towson University  Associate Head Coach  7‐8  CAA runners‐up; CAA regular season champions 

2011  Towson University  Associate Head Coach  3‐10

What They’re Saying About Shawn Nadelen

Former Towson Men’s Lacrosse Coach Tony Seaman

“I am very proud that Shawn has been named as the head coach at Towson. I think they hired the right person for the job and I know Shawn will do a great job as the next head coach of Towson Lacrosse.”

Johns Hopkins Men’s Lacrosse Coach Dave Pietramala

“When I think of Shawn, I think of the word class. From the time I met him during his senior year in high school to his senior year  at Johns Hopkins when he played for me, he has been a first class individual. He has continued to do things the right way as a coach and really cares about the kids and wants to be successful. Towson made a great choice in hiring not only a good coach, but an even better person.”

United States National Team and Bryant University Head Men’s Lacrosse Coach Mike Pressler

“I am very ecstatic for Shawn. In all of my time as a coach at the collegiate and international levels, I have never come across someone who is more of a competitor and is more selfless than Shawn. He is a tremendous individual who has a lot of character. What he did in five months to come back from his knee injury and play at the level he did in the World Championships last year is one of the most remarkable and incredible things I have ever seen as a coach. To see Shawn named as the head coach at Towson is very exciting for not only Shawn, but for Towson as well because they got a great young coach and an outstanding young man that the players will look up to. Congratulations to Towson on an outstanding hire.”

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 09 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts-Bellator Fighting Championships 44 (Saturday 9pm from Atlantic City live on MTV2); Soccer: MLS-Colorado Rapids @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet); Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour Internazionali BNL D’Italia (Tuesday-Thursday 6am & 1:30pm, Friday 6am & 3:15pm, Saturday 8am & 2pm live on Tennis Channel & ESPN3.com, Saturday 10am live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from Rome, Italy); Women’s College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Navy @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm Field Hockey & Lacrosse Complex-College Park), UMass @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm Ridley Athletic Complex); Arena Football: AFL Tulsa Talons @ New Orleans VooDoo (Friday 8pm from New Orleans live on NFL Network)

10. M3 Rock Festival feat. Warrant, Kix, Whitesnake, Tesla, Sebastian Bach, Lita Ford, Mr. Big, Slaughter, Great White (Friday-Saturday Merriweather Post Pavilion); Sunday Funday feat. Amos Lee, Josh Ritter, Eric Hutchinson (Sunday 12:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Eric Benet (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Social Distortion (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live); Richard Lewis (Saturday 8pm & 10:30pm Recher Theatre); My Chemical Romance (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Echo & The Bunnymen (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Adele (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club); Bob Marley (Wednesday-Sunday DC Improv); James Taylor (Wednesday 7:30pm Hippodrome); J Roddy Walston & The Business (Wednesday 8:30pm Rock & Roll Hotel); Doug Stanhope (Thursday 8pm State Theatre); The Lonely Island “Turtleneck & Chain” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Of everyone playing at M3, I’d be most excited to rock out to this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz61YQWZuYU[/youtube]

Sunday Funday actually sounds like my kind of show. I’d dig this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm5TZX5hz3g[/youtube]

I’m not the type of Social D freak, but Social D is REALLY good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXAU4MmMIMo[/youtube]

Adele is amazing. I mean, AMAZING…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw[/youtube]

9. Preakness 5k (Saturday 10:30am Pimlico)

The cool concept behind the Preakness 5k is that human beings get to run at a track where horses…get to watch people in the infield urinate everywhere.

This is a reminder that Preakness is just a week away. You need to start making your survival plans now. Having not attended the Kentucky Derby this year, I think I might dress up a little bit this year. I’ve been looking at some former Preakness wardrobes for inspiration and I think I finally found mine…

preakness

8. Boxing: Andre Ward vs. Arthur Abraham (Saturday 10pm from Carson, CA live on Showtime); ShoBox: Sharif Bogere vs. Raymundo Beltran (Friday 11:05pm from Primm, NV live on Showtime); Friday Night Fights: Kendall Holt vs. Julio Diaz (Friday 9pm from Santa Ynez, CA live on ESPN2)

In boxing news, apparently after beating Shane Mosley easily in Las Vegas, Manny Pacquiao wandered into a club in Las Vegas and sang a few songs.

I’m sure it was awesome, but no way was it as awesome as the time he sang with Will Ferrell…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT4hHMIpnjU[/youtube]

7. Pro Lacrosse: MLL Rochester Rattlers @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium)

You know how at the beginning of NFL season everyone says “the quest for the Vince Lombardi Trophy is on”?

Or how at the start of the hockey season we hear things like “The hunt for the Stanley Cup begins”?

Well…umm…what do they say at the start of lacrosse season? Honestly, what’s the trophy for winning the lacrosse title?

In honor of not knowing, I’ll label the debut of the MLL as “The Quest to look at this picture of Belen Rodriguez begins!”

(Thanks Guyism.)

belenrod

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR FedEx 400 (Sunday 1pm from Dover live on FOX)

Oh wow. NASCAR is back in Dover. If you get lost on your way back from Ocean City this weekend, stop by to do…nothing.

Yeah, that’s all I’ve got here. Seriously…there’s nothing else worth saying. If you’ve gone before, you understand.

5. NHL Playoffs: Western Conference Semifinals-Detroit Red Wings vs. San Jose Sharks (Game 6 Tuesday 8pm from Detroit live on VERSUS, Game 7 if necessary Thursday TBD from San Jose live on VERSUS), Vancouver Canucks vs. Nashville Predators (Game 7 if necessary Wednesday TBD from Vancouver live on VERSUS); Western Conference Finals & Eastern Conference Finals: Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (begin this weekend, schedules TBD)

I couldn’t help but laugh at the misery of Washington Redskins fans last week as their beloved Capitals were so soundly dismissed by the Bolts.

HAHAHAHAHA YOUR HOCKEY TEAM SUCKS AND YOU DON’T HAVE A QUARTERBACK!

You might say that makes me a mean person. I’d say “up yours, Skins fans.”

All of Charm City is rooting for the Preds now I guess because of the Baltimore Skipjacks connection with Barry Trotz.

I’ll buy in. Cue Tim McGraw!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX4tSBPSViE[/youtube]

4. Pro Wrestling: TNA Sacrifice (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View); WWE WrestleMania 27 available on DVD (Tuesday)

WrestleMania kinda sucked, so I would assume I know at least one doughy morning sports jock who will pass on making the purchase.

I’ll also likely pass on making the purchase of the TNA PPV (I’ve passed on all of the others before that), but it doesn’t mean my opinion of Mickie James has lessened at all…

mickiejames

3. Golf: PGA Tour THE PLAYERS Championship (Thursday & Friday 1pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Ponte Vedra Beach, FL)

The Players is apparently considered the “fifth major” on the PGA Tour.

Of course, most of the REAL majors are being won by golfers no one has ever heard of (see: Schwartzel, Charl), so maybe even Drew Forrester has a chance to win TPC.

More good news. No matter how bad the real golfers are, we can still laugh at the fake golfers. Like Charles Barkley…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQwa0VrdLsQ&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

2. NBA Playoffs:Eastern Conference Semifinals-Atlanta Hawks vs. Chicago Bulls (Game 5 Tuesday 8pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 6 Thursday 8pm from Atlanta live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday TBD from Chicago live on TNT), Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics (Game 5 Wednesday 7pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Boston live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Monday 8pm from Miami live on TNT); Western Conference Semifinals-Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Memphis Grizzlies (Game 5 Wednesday 9:30pm from Oklahoma City live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Memphis live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday from Oklahoma City TBD)

If you have American blood running through your veins, you will be rooting for the Grizz the rest of the way through the playoffs.

Or if you have Venezuelan blood. Either way, you better damn well be rooting for this man…

greivis

1. College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Hofstra @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 12pm from Homewood Field live on ESPN), Maryland @ North Carolina (Sunday 1pm from Chapel Hill, NC live on ESPN2); Division 3 NCAA Tournament-Cabrini/Widener @ Stevenson (Saturday TBD Caves Athletic Complex)

Carolina again? Lord. I can’t stand the freaking Tar Heels.

I can’t find a YouTube video of the night the Terps stormed back from down 66-44 in the second half to be the Heels at the DeanDome. If anyone can track something down, please pass it along to me.

In the meantime, take this UNC fans…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwfLa-PmqpY[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 17 August 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Friday 7pm Verizon Center); Soccer: NASL-Rochester Rhinos @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Wednesday 7pm Ridley Athletic Complex-Loyola),MLS-Philadelphia Union @ DC United (Sunday 2pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet & MLS Direct Kick)

10. Train (Sunday 5pm Pier Six Pavilion); KISS (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); The Temptations and The Four Tops (Saturday 8pm Wolf Trap); Travie McCoy & Shwayze (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Charm City Devils & Bang Tango (Saturday 7:30pm Bourbon Street), The Wailers (Sunday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); Mighty Mighty Bosstones (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); Hot August Blues Festival feat. Lyle Lovett & His Large Band, Keb’ Mo’ (Saturday 1:30pm Oregon Ridge Park); Babyface (Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere)

Certainly some things worth pointing out here, as no matter how goofy that stupid “Hey Soul Sister” song was-Train remains downright listenable…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxWK3qACDGk[/youtube]

I’ve caught myself watching “Gene Simmons Family Jewels” a few times recently, and I’ve been reminded of just how unforgivable it is that KISS is somehow NOT in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hgz-q76KtQ[/youtube]

Whether or not you were a SR-71 fan (and how could you not have been?), there’s really no excuse to not be a Charm City Devils fan. John Allen is part of our great city’s rock and roll royalty…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNahVaxjFYs[/youtube]

And the ska movement may have died many years ago, but I am grateful to have Dicky Barrett and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones back. They did my favorite song from “Clueless” after all….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmOmAuhAQbE[/youtube]

9. Baltimore Restaurant Week (Tuesday-Sunday throughout Charm City)

Or in other words, “The Greatest Week of All Time Ever.”

Look, they’re not a sponsor-but I’ll go ahead and say it. If there’s a way for me to afford eating at The Capital Grille, I’m all in. I mean-they have Halibut and Yukon Potatoes with sliced almonds and sweet diced tomatoes…

halibut

8. Arena Football League: ArenaBowl-Tampa Bay Storm @ Spokane Shock (Friday 8pm from Spokane live on NFL Network)

Maybe we have the winner face the AIFA Champion Baltimore Mariners in a Best of 7 series starting Monday night?

For the record, I’m pulling for Spokane. It would be nice for the city to have something to celebrate besides Adam Morrison and his moustache crying…

adammorrison

7. Swimming: Pan Pacific Championships (Wednesday 9pm live on Universal Sports, Saturday 2pm Sunday 3pm on NBC. All swimming from Irvine, CA)

There’s good news here. One-I always root for Michael Phelps. He’s a Baltimore Ravens fan. I’m a Baltimore Ravens fan. Not much else to care about there.

Two-this particular event is an event where Team USA goes up against Japan, Australia and Canada. And the fact is, I hate Canada anyway! Why? Well…

bieber

Up yours Canada. Enjoy getting SMOKED by Michael Phelps and the boys…

6. Golf: PGA Tour Wyndham Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 2pm live on CBS. All golf from Greensboro, North Carolina); Champions Tour JELD-WEN Tradition (Thursday 7:30pm Friday 8pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 4pm live on NBC. All golf from Sunriver, Oregon); LPGA Tour Safeway Classic (Friday 12:30pm Saturday & Sunday 5:30pm from North Plains, Oregon live on Golf Channel)

It used to be that if Tiger Woods wasn’t involved in a golf tournament, no one was interested.

Now, it’s just a case of no one ever being interested either way.

But if you’re going to have to play a golf tournament-there are worse places to play than Greensboro, North Carolina. The good news there is that you’re never too far from one of these…

biscuitville

5. Tennis-ATP Tour U.S. Open Series: Western & Southern Financial Group Masters (Tuesday & Wednesday 1pm live on Tennis Channel, Thursday & Friday 12pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 2pm & 7pm live on ESPN2, Sunday-FINAL-12pm live on CBS. All tennis from Cincinnati) WTA Tour U.S. Open Series: Rogers Cup (Friday 6pm, Saturday 4pm live on Tennis Channel; Sunday 1pm & 3pm live on ESPN2. All tennis from Montreal)

There’s no American men in the Top 10 of the World Tennis Rankings.

A man from Germany just won the PGA Championship.

American men hold NONE of the heavyweight boxing champions.

Even the current WWE Champion (Sheamus) is from Ireland.

What the hell are we any good at in this country?!?!?

Well, I know of at least one sport where we still dominate. Thanks in large part to great athletes like one Glenn Clark…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVqIvM8Wbas[/youtube]

You’re welcome, America.

4. Auto Racing: NASCAR Irwin Tools Night Race (Saturday 7:30pm from Bristol, TN live on ABC), IndyCar Series Indy Grand Prix of Sonoma (Sunday 5pm from Sonoma, CA live on VERSUS)

I don’t much care for NASCAR myself. I’ll admit that it’s an area where I’m fairly snobby, as I prefer my sports-and my TV viewing in general-to actually be captivating, interesting and entertaining.

The good news is that when the NASCAR circuit hits Bristol Motor Speedway, they’re racing on a smaller track. That means there are probably going to be a few more of these…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UJ5jD6OJiE[/youtube]

3. Lacrosse: MLL Championship Weekend-Boston Cannons vs. Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 12pm), Denver Outlaws vs. Long Island Lizards (Saturday 3pm), MLL Championship Game (Sunday 1pm…all games from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3.com, 2nd semifinal Saturday also live on Universal Sports)

This is a tough spot. I’m uncomfortable with rooting for the Bayhawks, as they WERE the Baltimore Bayhawks but were eventually moved to Washington before coming back to Annapolis and changing their name to “Chesapeake.” Of course, my other options include teams from Boston and New York, and I’m CERTAINLY not rooting for them.

I know what else I’ll be rooting for…AWESOME INJURIES. Awesome injuries like the one recently picked up by Cincinnati Bearcats star (Roland Park) Laura Simanski; who you may know better as “The Future Mrs. Glenn Clark.” Laura was apparently playing recently in Ocean City, and her mom did the right thing and posted photographic evidence of an AWESOME injury on Facebook…

laurainjury

2. Mixed Martial Arts: WEC-Dominick Cruz vs. Joseph Benavidez (Wednesday 9pm from Las Vegas live on VERSUS); Strikeforce Houston (Saturday 10pm from Houston live on Showtime)

If Bobby Lashley wins OR loses Saturday night, I have one simple request to Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker. PLEASE make this happen next…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUj07_f89i4[/youtube]

1. Baltimore Ravens @ Washington Redskins (Saturday 8pm from FedEx Field live on WBAL 11 & Comcast SportsNet), Tweetup with SI’s Peter King (Wednesday 4:30pm Amicci’s Little Italy)

If you regularly read WNST.net…or the Washington Post’s DC Sports Bog…or Deadspin…or Kissing Suzy Kolber…or Mister Irrelevant…or Press Box…or DCRTV…or the Bible…wait, no, maybe not the bible…you may have heard that I don’t much care for the Washington Redskins.

But as time has gone on, my opinion has softened.

So to all of those who have been offended by my previous comments regarding the Skins, I offer something new…

“F*ck the Redskins. F*ck John Riggins. F*ck MASN’s Riggins commercial.”

Go ahead and quote me. See you at that dump you call a stadium Saturday night in…Raljon? Ugh. What a dreadful place…

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 03 August 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: MLL Lacrosse-Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Boston Cannons (Saturday 7pm from Boston live on ESPN3.com); Soccer-NASL: Miami FC @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Wednesday 2pm Maryland SoccerPlex), MLS: DC United @ New England Revolution (Saturday 7:30pm from Foxborough, MA live on MLS Direct Kick & Comcast SportsNet); WNBA-Washington Mystics @ Atlanta Dream (Tuesday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on ESPN2); Boxing: Devon Alexander vs. Andriy Kotelnik (Saturday 10pm from St. Louis live on HBO), ShoBOX: Chris Avalos vs. Christopher Martin (Friday 11pm from Hinckley, MN live on Showtime)

10. Goo Goo Dolls (Tuesday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Lilith Fair feat. Sarah MacLachlan (Tuesday 3pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Keane (Thursday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Arcade Fire (Friday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Summer Spirit Festival feat. The Roots, Common, Erykah Badu, B.O.B. (Saturday 3:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Barenaked Ladies (Sunday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Kings of Leon (Saturday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), Mayhem Festival feat. Korn & Rob Zombie (Sunday 2:15pm Jiffy Lube Live); Willie Nelson (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Hippiefest feat. War & Mitch Ryder (Sunday 8pm Wolf Trap), Counting Crows (Monday 8pm Wolf Trap); Sick Puppies (Friday 7pm Sonar); Asia (Tuesday 7:30pm Birchmere), Jonny Lang (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Alex Band of “The Calling” (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); “The Other Guys” out in theaters (Friday)

I’m really hit and miss when it comes to the Goo Goo Dolls. Sometimes I think they’re much too sappy, sometimes they put out a jam like “Slide”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP4qdefD2To[/youtube]

There’s like nothing…in the world…better than The Roots…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n94URvpQOAc[/youtube]

There isn’t much of anyone I’d drive to Bristow, Virginia to see…but I’d at least consider it for a band like Kings of Leon. I mean…they did “Manhattan”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-2-7uuCtc[/youtube]

Not a whole lot of you will have heard of Sick Puppies, but it shouldn’t keep you from going to Sonar to check them out. They’re actually pretty good. When I would sit it on 98KUPD in Phoenix, I would regularly get them switched into the rotation…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okjxe8VWQPo[/youtube]

9. Baltimore International Festival/6th Annual Mayor’s Cup Soccer Tournament (Saturday-Sunday Poly/Western High School)

Winner gets a free XBox!!!

Oh wait…that was the other mayor.

You know what my favorite tent is at the international festival? The AMERICAN tent! I hope they have Buffalo Chicken Dip and episodes of Holly’s World…that’s what makes our country great!

8. Pro Wrestling: TNA “HardCORE Justice” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View); WWE “Wrestlemania 26″ replay (Saturday 9pm NBC)

Usually including Pro Wrestling events is just an excuse for me to put in pictures of hot wrestling chicks. Not this time. Why? Because I love both of these events. One-the TNA event is an ECW reunion.  Anything that involves more Rob Van Dam makes me (and God I believe) happy…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlfWESVCutc[/youtube]

Two…WM26 was Shawn Michaels’ final match. Once again, I (and God) approve…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3EGgJgbfvM[/youtube]

7. Golf: PGA Tour Turning Stone Resort Championship (Thursday-Sunday 4pm from Verona, NY live on Golf Channel), Champions Tour 3M Championship (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Blaine, MN live on Golf Channel)

Stuart Appleby shot a 59 in some Golf Tournament Classic thingy last weekend, and apparently that’s impressive.  I’m not sure I agree. I shot a 44 myself at Maui Golf a few weeks ago when I was in Ocean City!

Speaking of Ocean City, former Intern Genna lives in Ocean City now. I wonder what she’s up to???

genna

Exactly what I expected.

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips at the Glen (Sunday 1pm from Watkins Glen, NY live on ESPN), IndyCar Series Honda Indy 200 (Sunday 2:30pm from Lexington, OH live on VERSUS)

If my life depended on it, I couldn’t tell you who won last week’s NASCAR race. I’ll go with Terry Labonte. He’s good, right?

Speaking of NASCAR, some guy named Basil Marceaux is running for governor in Tennessee. I think you’ll understand the transition after you watch the video…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hvaeHllwtw[/youtube]

5. Swimming: Conoco Phillips National Championships (Tuesday & Wednesday 9pm live on Universal Sports, Saturday 4pm Sunday 4:30pm on NBC; live webcast throughout at Swimnetwork.com. All swimming from Irvine, CA)

I’ve used all of my Michael Phelps material. Frankly, I’ll just be rooting for the dude at this point. I mean-he’s from Charm City. I want him to win.

Instead, I’ll just post this picture of Amanda Beard. She may or may not still be a swimmer. Like it matters…

amandabeard

4. National Sports Collectors Convention (Thursday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

How about that? For the VERY reasonable price of $110, I can get John Riggins’ autograph!

How about for an additional 40 bucks, I get to put him in a Ric Flair sharpshooter???

I’m sure there are people in the world that are excited about this type of event. I’m just not one of them. Paying money for someone’s signature-or for the chance to take a picture of them-is something I’m COMPLETELY uninterested in. Unless of course that person is John Stamos. Yeah, I’d pay money to meet him…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCOOI9IETCI[/youtube]

For the record, my Fantasy Football team name this year IS Jesse & The Rippers. What else would it be?

3. Tennis: ATP Tour U.S. Open Series Legg Mason Tennis Classic (Tuesday-Sunday William H.G. FitzGerald Tennis Center in Rock Creek Park; Thursday 4pm live on Tennis Channel, Friday 12pm & 7pm live on ESPN2 5pm live on Tennis Channel, Saturday 1pm live on Tennis Channel 7pm live on ESPN2, Sunday 3pm live on ESPN2 8pm live on Tennis Channel)

Yes-of COURSE I’m going to watch tennis this week, even if it means I have to venture into the cesspool that is our nation’s capital. Why? Like you even need to ask…

nalbandian

And you thought you knew what I was going to say there…

2. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 117-Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen (Saturday 10pm from Oakland live on Pay-Per-View)

Anderson Silva is one of the greatest fighters in MMA history.

You could bump into Chael Sonnen at Royal Farms today and have no idea who he was or what he did for a living. (Edit form GMC: Yeah, that’s a variation of a Bert Sugar joke. Deal with it.)

Yet for some reason, Chael Sonnen thinks it appropriate to make comments like these…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFpePVQ68FM[/youtube]

“The Michael Jackson of MMA”…that’s actually really good.

1. Ravens Training Camp (Tuesday, Thursday & Monday 8:45am & 2:45pm, Wednesday & Friday 8:45am & 2pm, Sunday 2:45pm McDaniel College; Saturday 12pm M&T Bank Stadium); Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony (Saturday 7pm from Canton, Ohio live on NFL Network); Hall of Fame Game: Dallas Cowboys vs. Cincinnati Bengals (Sunday 8pm from Canton, Ohio live on NBC)

I know a gal who is a BIG fan of the Dallas Cowboys. I am not. In fact, the only thing we tend to agree about is that the Redskins suck. But with that in mind, I’m not much for the Bengals either. Therefore, the only acceptable result Sunday night would be a scoreless tie.

In the meantime-I will be willing to admit that I find Chad Ochocinco humorous. For example…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHXZ62wwmRE[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Tuesday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

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Tuesday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 27 July 2010 by Glenn Clark

Happy Tuesday!

It’s a Happy Tuesday for me because somebody decided to make my week yesterday and alter the Perry Hall High School Wikipedia page. As you know, there was an update made yesterday morning to note the significance of the “Apologist of the Year” award won by Steve Melewski…

melewski

But later in the day; someone (and if you’re reading, I can only say “Thank You”) decided to update the PHHS page again to add an additional member to the “Notable Alumni” section…

glenn

You better believe it’s going on my resume.

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. WNST.net’s Glenn Clark says Ravens LB Sergio Kindle will miss Training Camp with fractured skull

I don’t know how much I can add here. Like I said yesterday-this is terrible news to start the season. Not season-defining news necessarily, but terrible news nonetheless.

Before being dismissive of the significance of Kindle’s injury, I would suggest you take a look at the roster from a personnel standpoint. This team gave up over 207 yards per game from a passing defense standpoint last year. That was still worthy of a Top 10 defensive ranking; but it’s a number that needs to improve as this team tries to win the AFC North and reach Dallas to play in the Super Bowl.

Sergio Kindle was (almost certainly) not going to step in here and post double digit sacks the way someone like Shawne Merriman did; but he was going to give them depth at OLB and a speedy, athletic look opposite Terrell Suggs when he was on the field. The team CLEARLY hoped his presence would help improve the pass rush; even if he wasn’t solely responsible for posting big sack numbers.

The Ravens really don’t have much depth at OLB. Suggs and Jarret Johnson are the starters; but other than Kindle-the depth includes Edgar Jones (a converted TE/ILB/FB/Centerfielder?), Paul Kruger (who the team had bulk up in the offseason for a move to DE), and both Antwan Barnes and Prescott Burgess. They could also ask another of their many ILB’s to move outside (Jameel McClain comes to mind); but none would be likely to help the pass rush even at the level Kindle could have.

That’s just reality.

The other thing I’ve heard a lot in the immediacy of the Kindle injury is “well, Paul Kruger didn’t do anything for us last year after HE was a 2nd round pick.”

True, sure. But you have to understand that the Ravens were UNBELIEVABLY disappointed in what they got from Paul Kruger last season. We’ll always remember his interception against the Pittsburgh Steelers, but that was about it from the rookie from Utah last season. The organization has MUCH higher expectations from players selected that high in the NFL Draft.

Man, two straight days we start this thing on such a downer. Good news ahead?

2. The AP’s David Ginsburg says Ravens reported to Westminster ‘built for Super Bowl run’

Despite the reality of the Sergio Kindle situation and the month-long Ed Reed distraction, the Troy Smith drama and Cary Williams’ suspension; the Ravens are STILL opening the season with Super Bowl aspirations, and rightfully so.

I had an interesting Twitter conversation with former Ravens TE Dan Wilcox (you can follow him @83DEGREEZ and us @WNST) a few weeks ago about what it takes to win a Super Bowl. I argued that having the right players made up about 80% of the formula for winning the title; with coaching and chemistry making up the other 20% of the formula. Dan disagreed, arguing that chemistry and mental approach made up MUCH more of the formula than I was giving it credit for.

Clearly this isn’t scientific, but Dan WOULD know a thing or two about being part of a winning team-having reached the AFC Championship Game in his final season just two years ago.

If my formula is right, the Ravens have the athletes to win and should make a real push.

If Dan’s formula is right, well, I’m not so sure.

3. WNST.net’s Luke Jones says Ravens agreed to 3 year deal with 2nd round pick Terrence Cody

Go ahead and get all of your jokes out right now…

“I heard the Westminster Chick-Fil-A had to call the National Guard for reserves.”
“Are there enough delivery drivers in Carroll County to keep the big man happy?”

Cody didn’t look to have put on any more weight, but hopefully we’ll find out today (Luke Jones is on the field at McDaniel College as I type) exactly what Cody’s weight is as Camp begins.

And then hopefully moving forward we won’t have to continuously update this.

(Edit from GMC: UPDATE. He failed his conditioning test. Awesome news.)

4. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Ed Reed, Fabian Washington, Lardarius Webb amongst those who will start camp on PUP list

None of that is surprising-it will be more interesting to see who else MIGHT end up on the PUP list while returning from injury.

By the way, a reminder that this ISN’T the “miss the first 6 weeks of the season” PUP list; this is a PUP list for Training Camp-and there are some clerical matters involved. These guys can go on the PUP list now but be removed before Monday Night Football on September 13.

I’m REALLY hoping that the team DOESN’T put Sofia Vergara on the PUP list. That would be criminal (Thanks Guyism!)…

vergara

5. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Mike Duffy says John Harbaugh plans to ‘work out’ issues with Ed Reed

And before we move on from the Ravens, a couple of things:

-If you missed Drew Forrester’s chat with veteran NFL agent Ralph Cindrich this morning on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST-it was really interesting. They discussed Sergio Kindle, his former client Troy Smith and the agent issues currently surrounding USC and NCAA Football in general. The conversation is in the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault at WNST.net if you want to check it out. Ravens rookie WR David Reed joined Thyrl Nelson on “The Mobtown Sports Beat”, you can check that out as well.

-The Ravens are back on the practice field today; with an afternoon practice at 3:30pm. John Harbaugh, Cam Cameron and Joe Flacco are all scheduled to meet with the media following practice this morning-we’ll have it all in the Audio Vault, and you can hear all of it throughout the day with Thyrl Nelson and Nestor Aparicio on AM1570 WNST.

6. The AP says Wieters had first career multi-HR game, but Orioles dropped series opener to Blue Jays in Toronto

In fairness, the Birds played REALLY well…after they were down 8-0.

A rough outing for Brad Bergesen, who I guess thought Chris Tillman’s demotion last week meant he had nothing to worry about moving forward. Ugh.

Jose Bautista hit his Major League Baseball-leading 28th home run of the year last night. I know Matt Garza threw the 5th no-hitter of the season last night, but are we sure guys stopped using steroids?

At first blush, I couldn’t believe that was Matt Wieters’ first multi-homer game of his career. When I thought about it more, it made plenty of sense.

Are the Matt Wieters Facts not funny anymore? I’ve had so much taken from me as an O’s fan, I can’t stomach the idea of losing this as well!

7. The AP/WNST.net offer numerical evidence of loss

By the way, I have NO IDEA why Juan Samuel brought Brad Bergesen back out to start the 6th inning last night. At first blush, I thought it was shameful. When Samuel pulled him a batter later, I DEFINITELY thought it was shameful.

But as always, you REALLY don’t want to look at the numbers from last night. Instead, look at Adrianne Curry dressed as Princess Leia at Comic-Con in San Diego (Thanks Don Chavez!). We’ll regroup after that…

leia

8. MLB.com’s James Hall says Wigginton’s suspension reduced to two games

Which forced the O’s to play Jake Fox at first last night and have just Julio Lugo and Corey Patterson on the bench.

I’d be concerned, but what does it really matter?

No word on whether or not the O’s are considering a roster move to get another player on the bench tonight; but it might be a good idea. Just a thought-but a backup catcher (Craig Tatum comes to mind) could be helpful.

9. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Josh Bell went 0-7 in Norfolk Tides’ loss on farm

Before we move on from the Orioles, a couple of things…

-The Birds are back in action tonight; facing the Jays at Rogers Centre. First pitch between Kevin Millwood and Ricky Romero is at 7:07pm, the game can be seen on MASN. I don’t like the Birds’ chances against Romero. They don’t do well against lefties. Or anyone.

-Congratulations to Luke Scott for being named the American League Player of the Month. Hopefully that will impress the New York Mets. Or Detroit Tigers. Or San Diego Padres. Or anyone…

-If you missed former Orioles Executive and current SiriusXM MLB Network Radio analyst Jim Duquette with Drew Forrester this morning, make sure you hit the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault to check it out. Delmarva Shorebirds field coach/former O’s CF/my personal hero Mike Devereaux was also on the show, as well as former Maryland lacrosse coach and current Chesapeake Bayhawks consultant Dave Cottle. It’s all in the Audio Vault.

10. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Ralph Friedgen confirmed Jamarr Robinson will start under center for Terrapins

Which we basically knew; but this just settles anyone who thought the job could be available for Danny O’Brien or C.J. Brown to win this summer in College Park.

If Kimberly Phillips shows up in camp however-I’d let her win whatever job she wanted (Thanks The Smoking Jacket!)…

kimberly

11. ACC Official Site says Terps picked to finish last in Atlantic Division by media assembled in Greensboro

Ehh…2nd…4th…6th…doesn’t matter to me. It’s like Ricky Bobby says…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_isgXzxIa24[/youtube]

And finally, I leave you with this.

Did Kings of Leon really cancel a show in St. Louis when there was an…umm…seagull incident?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siIQmp4KUoE[/youtube]

I’d be more concerned if they weren’t the band that did “Be Somebody.” That earns them something…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7dQTqBGASU[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 26 July 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: MLL Lacrosse-Chicago Machine @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium); WNBA-San Antonio Silver Stars @ Washington Mystics (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV), Tulsa Shock @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV); Arena Football League: Tulsa Talons @ Oklahoma City Yard Dawgz (Friday 8:05pm from Oklahoma City live on NFL Network)

10. Slightly Stoopid & Cypress Hill (Thursday 6:30pm from Pier Six Pavilion), Heart (Sunday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Carnival of Madness feat. Shinedown, Chevelle, Puddle of Mudd, Sevendust (Wednesday 5pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Jason Aldean (Friday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Honda Civic Tour feat. Paramore (Saturday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Creed (Wednesday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), John Mayer (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Brooks & Dunn (Sunday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); Steve Miller Band (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Aretha Franklin (Thursday 8pm Wolf Trap); La Roux (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Dead Weather (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Rooney (Tuesday 7pm Sonar); Blues Traveler (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Gin Blossoms (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Robyn & Kelis (Monday 6pm 9:30 Club); Tom Green (Friday-Sunday DC Improv); Living Colour (Saturday 8pm Jaxx); Buddy Guy (Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); Dru Hill “Indrupendence Day” in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

So much to like here. First of all; of all of the “post-grunge sorta metal” bands in the world-NONE are better than Chevelle…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YMc6P6UDMk[/youtube]

I almost knocked over Hayley Williams at the VirginFest a few years back. She’s tiny. But when Paramore covers Kings of Leon, she’s HUGE…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCMjJqVBm2g[/youtube]

You can say WHATEVER you want; John Mayer is AWESOME…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_M5cNcRcMk[/youtube]

You might not be a countrry music fan; but Brooks & Dunn are splitting up. That’s significant somehow. I think. Ehh, here’s a country tune…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZSiBj4vCiY[/youtube]

When I was in middle school, it wasn’t cool to like Blues Traveler. It also wasn’t cool to skip going to White Marsh Mall on Friday nights to stay home and watch Boy Meets World; but screw you for judging me…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ousaiByU1ko[/youtube]

9. “Dinner For Schmucks” in theaters (Friday); Otakon (Friday-Sunday, Baltimore Convention Center); “Shark Week” begins (Sunday 9pm Discovery Channel)

Yes, these things are very random. But they’re all delightful as well. I don’t know if “Dinner For Schmucks” will be funny or not, but I feel like it has potential. At least the potential to be better than, say, “Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOMngejmwKE[/youtube]

The first thing that comes up when you Google Image Search “Otakon” is below. I was hoping I’d figure out more about the event. Instead, I think I’m safer just continuing with my life…

http://www.doctoroctoroc.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/otakon_companioncube.jpg

And we ALL know how great Shark Week is. So with that in mind, I offer my favorite ever “Texts From Last Night” entry…

i just defriended some girl because according to her status she “doesn’t give a f*ck about shark week.”

And I also offer the t-shirt version of Tracy Morgan’s greatest ever quote from 30 Rock…

shark week

8. Tennis: ATP Tour Farmers Classic (Friday 3pm live on ESPN2, 7pm live on Tennis Channel; Saturday 5pm & 10:30pm live on ESPN2; Sunday 5pm live on ESPN2, 8pm live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from Los Angeles); U.S. Open Series Legg Mason Classic (Saturday-Monday William H.G. FitzGerald Tennis Center in Rock Creek Park)

Yeah, you know damn well I’ll be wandering down to DC at some point next week to watch Andy Roddick and company (did A-Rod REALLY lose to Mardy Fish this weekend in Atlanta?!?!?!?) because I’m a tennis nerd; but we’ll get back to that.

Back to Mardy Fish, did you know he was married to Stacey Gardner of “Deal or No Deal” fame? If it weren’t for the “married” part, this would probably make me a bigger fan of his…

stacey

7. Pro Wrestling: MCW Shamrock Cup (Saturday 6pm New Green Room Dundalk)

With no offense to Peter Schmuck or Kevin Eck from the Baltimore Sun (who are scheduled to “wrestle” at this event); the night is being headlined by appearances from former WWE stars Mickie James and Tommy Dreamer.

You would think I would be more excited about an appearance from the former Women’s Champion than I would a former ECW journeyman; but that only means you haven’t seen this video of him battling Rob Van Dam…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_kJOpgSqHQ[/youtube]

6. Golf-PGA Tour Greenbrier Classic (Thursday-Sunday 3pm from Sulphur Springs, West Virginia live on Golf Channel); Champions Tour U.S. Senior Open (Thursday & Friday 1pm live on ESPN, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Sammamish, WA); LPGA Women’s British Open (Thursday & Friday 10am, Saturday & Sunday 9am from Southport, England live on ESPN)

I’m not much of a golf fan; but I feel as though if I lived in West Virginia; I would probably attend this event. Mostly because my entertainment alternatives would include…

yokels

Who are we kidding? That’s actually not that bad…

5. Auto Racing: NASCAR Sunoco Red Cross Pennsylvania 500 (Sunday 1pm from Pocono live on ESPN)

I actually poked at the Brickyard 400 while the Orioles game was in a rain delay this past weekend. No thanks.

In fact, I’m really not sure how this race ended up 5th on this list. If I hadn’t already made it this far I’d probably go back and adjust it, but that would take far too much effort at this point.

It’s a shame Ultimate Frisbee never makes the list instead of NASCAR. Then I could post this incredible video from Deadspin instead of posting something stupid about golf. Oh wait, look at what I just did there…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5edTmCn09s[/youtube]

4. Boxing: Juan Manuel Marquez vs. Juan Diaz II (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on HBO PPV)

I’d like to be excited about this fight this weekend; but I just don’t know how I feel about boxing anymore. Let’s consider a recent boxing mega-fight in Australia between Danny Green and Paul Briggs…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYNwVSJfVhQ[/youtube]

If you can’t trust a sport with the unquestionable history of boxing, what CAN you trust in the world?

3. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC on VERSUS 2-Jon Jones vs. Vladimir Matyushenko (Sunday 9pm from San Diego live on VERSUS)

This is very simple. Jon “Bones” Jones is the brother of Ravens rookie DT Arthur Jones. That means we root for him. Vladimir “The Janitor” Matyushenko is from Belarus. That means we (and by “we” I mean “I”) don’t root for him.

His nickname is “The Janitor”? How many Janitors have you rooted for in your day? I mean-BESIDES “Janitor Bud” from Boy Meets World of course…

janitorbud

…right up until the point when we found out he was skipping out of work early to go bet on the horses. Jerk.

(Edit from GMC: That’s two BMW references in one post. Don’t think I don’t have more in me…)

2. Ravens Training Camp (Tuesday & Wednesday 8:45am, Friday-Monday 8:45; Monday morning closed to public. All practices at McDaniel College)

OH THANK GOD IT’S FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!

I’m not really sure what else to say here. The long civic nightmare known as baseball season here in Charm City is finally over; and we focus our attention solely on football. That’s such an incredible blessing.

Of course, the Sergio Kindle news dampers the start of Training Camp; but doesn’t ruin the eternal hope that comes with being a Baltimore Ravens fan. And if the teams needs another body in Camp with Kindle out, I think Patrice Hollis is qualified (Thanks The Smoking Jacket!)…

patricehollis

1. Soccer: Manchester City vs. Inter Milan (Saturday 8pm M&T Bank Stadium); MLS All-Star Game: MLS All-Stars vs. Manchester United (Wednesday 8:30pm from Houston live on ESPN2), MLS-DC United @ Real Salt Lake (Saturday 9pm from Salt Lake City live on Comcast SportsNet & MLS Direct Kick); NASL-Montreal Impact @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 7pm Maryland SoccerPlex)

Just when you thought the whole soccer thing was over for the summer…

I’ll of course be rooting for Inter Saturday night. Not because I’m a big Inter fan; but more because my family is from Italy. How do you not root for the country that (sorta) gave us this???

pestopasta

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 19 July 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Volleyball-AVP Long Beach Open (Sunday 4pm live on ABC, 11pm live on ESPN2. All volleyball from Long Beach, CA); WNBA: Atlanta Dream @ Washington Mystics (Wednesday 11:30am from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Indiana Fever @ Washington Mystics (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

10. Vans Warped Tour feat. Reel Big Fish & Alkaline Trio (Tuesday 11am Merriweather Post Pavilion); Beach Boys (Saturday 6:30m Pier Six Pavilion), Willie Nelson (Sunday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Dave Matthews Band & Zac Brown Band (Friday 7pm Nationals Park); Iron Maiden (Tuesday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), Santana (Sunday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); American Idol Live! (Saturday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Better Than Ezra (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Gary Hoey (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Interpol (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); Fear Factory (Monday 6pm Recher Theatre); Bay City Rollers (Monday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); John Witherspoon (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); “An American Playlist” feat. Smokey Robinson & John Mayer (Tuesday 6pm Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts); Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers (Sunday 8pm State Theatre)

I will be attending some of these things. I saw Dave Matthews Band and Zac Brown Band at HersheyPark two weeks ago; and I hope that I can avoid vomiting in my mouth at all of the signs of Steven Strasburg I’ll see at Nats Park. If DMB does “Eh Hee” again, that will help…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U44PsjIvBY[/youtube]

And as far as Zac Brown is concerned; maybe they can channel Rage Against the Machine again…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ChmnEFUGoA[/youtube]

I’ll also be at Pier Six Saturday night to check out the Beach Boys with the great Tom Clark and Karen Clark (my parents, yeah); and will ABSOLUTELY be singing along to every word of every song, including…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L–cqAI3IUI[/youtube]

If I wasn’t going to be at Dave Matthews Friday night, I’d ABSOLUTELY be at Power Plant Live. I remember hearing “Good” in the trailers for “The Baby-Sitters Club” when I was 11 years old and I’ve absolutely loved Better Than Ezra ever since…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji0pyRmSnTY[/youtube]

And you may not be familiar with Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers (Roger used to be in a great band called The Refreshments), the word that comes to mind with them is “fun”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vornIS2QG2k[/youtube]

9. MMA-Strikeforce: Challengers (Friday 11pm from Everett, WA live on Showtime)

There have been a ton of rumors flying around the Mixed Martial Arts world that  Strikeforce might consider putting Bobby Lashley and Dave Batista in the main event of a Pay-Per-View card. My response to that would be “YES PLEASE YES OH THANK GOD YES PLEASE!!!!!”

I do get the feeling I may have seen this before…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUj07_f89i4[/youtube]

8. Tennis-ATP Tour U.S. Open Series Atlanta Tennis Championships (Friday 12pm live on Tennis Channel, 4pm & 7pm live on ESPN2; Saturday 1:30pm live on ESPN2, 7pm live on Tennis Channel; Sunday 3pm live on ESPN2, 8pm live on Tennis Channel); World Team Tennis-New York Sportimes @ Washington Kastles (Tuesday 7pm Kastles Stadium), St. Louis Aces @ Washington Kastles (Wednesday 7pm Kastles Stadium)

Despite the fact that he was bounced in an unforgivable type of upset loss at Wimbledon; I’m still excited for this event simply because Andy Roddick is involved. And given the lack of talent in Hotlanta this year, he has a real chance of winning-which would be a nice change of pace for him.

John Isner is will be playing in the event as well; after playing about 1,876 games in London. He was also a winner at the ESPY Awards last week…although the real winners were Paul Rudd and Steve Carell…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpEdFWXrgWI[/youtube]

7. Soccer: NASL-AC St. Louis @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 3pm Maryland SoccerPlex); U.S. Open Cup: Harrisburg City Islanders @ DC United (Wednesday 7:30pm Maryland SoccerPlex); MLS Friendly: Portsmouth FC @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm RFK Stadium); FIFA Under-20 Women’s World Cup: Team USA vs. Korea Republic (Wednesday 12pm from Augsburg, Germany live on ESPN2)

With no offense to soccer, but has anyone noticed that since the World Cup ended…well…um…no one really cares anymore? I mean, Landon Donovan was in DC the other day, and it barely even got mention on SportsCenter.

It’s with that in mind that I offer a suggestion. Why don’t we just fire all of the current players and replace them with this team???

soccer

Just a suggestion…

6. Golf: PGA Tour RBC Canadian Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Toronto); Champions Tour Senior British Open (Thursday & Friday 12pm live on TNT, Saturday 1:30pm Sunday 1pm live on ABC. All golf from Berkshire, England); LPGA Tour Evian Masters (Thursday & Friday 6:30pm, Saturday & Sunday 1pm from Evian-les-Bains, France live on Golf Channel)

Kinda hard to imagine everyone won’t be watching golf this weekend, huh? I mean…we’re a world with “Oosthuizen Fever”, right?

Remember when golf’s major championships used to be events won by golfers we had actually HEARD OF and were watched by at least a partial majority of sports fans?

I barely do either.

These days, golf majors are won by folks like Y.E. Yang or Graeme McDowell or Trevor Immelman. Scott Van Pelt and Andy North have to get together every few weeks and say something like “you think this guy could ever win another one???” I think ESPN actually has a recording of Andy North saying “he has the talent to do it” that they just keep on a loop 4 times a year.

By the way, props to “Late Show with David Letterman” writer/producer Eric Stangel; who had the British Open-related “Tweet of the Week”.

“Tiger Woods won’t win British Open. Fun Fact: Back when he was chasing women, he did date a stripper named Claret Juggs.”

You can follow Eric on Twitter @EricStangel. You can follow us @WNST. I think you know who I think you should follow…

(Edit from GMC: No! US! Come on….)

5. Cycling: Tour De France (Tuesday, Thursday-Sunday 8am from France live on VERSUS)

Apparently Greg LeMond and Lance Armstrong are currently in some sort of girlfight regarding steroids. I’d tell you more, but you wouldn’t care. Which is sorta how I feel about the Tour De France incidentally.

How can so many terrible events be happening at the same time right now when there are so many GREAT events happening at other times during the year?

This isn’t even about there not being an American winning the Tour right now. Levi Leipheimer could be winning the event naked and no one would care. How do I know that? I had to hit Google just to find the name of a cyclist who WASN’T Lance Armstrong.

I’m reasonably certain Levi Leipheimer could cycle naked through his family reunion and most folks would say something like “how do you think Florida will do this season without Tim Tebow???”

4. Lacrosse: FIL World Lacrosse Championships Final (Saturday 11am from Manchester, England live on ESPNU); MLL: Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Long Island Lizards (Thursday 8pm from New York live on ESPN3)

Yeah, ESPNU is a logical place for this game…considering it’s a college matchup?!?!?!?

I get it, beggars can’t be choosers-but why not just put the freaking game on ESPN2? It’s on at 11am…there’s nothing else to compete against.

I don’t know if you could tell, but I’m in a ranting mood. With that in mind, here’s Lewis Black. Maybe I’ll feel better after that. (Edit from GMC: Language NSFW. Unless you work at Comedy Central. If you do…HELP?)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNGWn-aWn5g[/youtube]

3. Auto Racing: NASCAR Brickyard 400 (Sunday 1pm from Indianapolis live on ESPN); IndyCar Series Honda Indy Edmonton (Sunday 5pm from Edmonton live on VERSUS)

The thing to do when you win in Indy is “kiss the bricks.”

Unless of course you’re a Ravens fan-in which case the thing to do in Indy is…

irsay

Not that I condone it. (Edit from GMC: At least publicly.)

2. Ravens QB’s & Rookies Report to Training Camp (Monday McDaniel College)

They’re not practicing Monday. Don’t go to Westminster.

BUT…football season begins in days. Our long civic nightmare in Charm City is over.

I’m so happy that I think we need to cue Sly & The Family Stone…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiIBwu2mjs0[/youtube]

1. Indoor Football: AIFA Championship Bowl IV-Baltimore Mariners vs. Wyoming Cavalry (Sunday 4pm 1st Mariner Arena); AFL Chicago Rush @ Spokane Shock (Friday 8pm from Spokane, WA live on NFL Network)

You see, we were promised that the cavalry was coming to Baltimore, and they’re finally getting here!

The good news is that I hate Wyoming anyway. You know…because…they…ummm… exist?

Whatever the reason, go Mariners!

(Edit from GMC: As my roommate-”The Luckiest Dang Roommate on the Face of the Planet” would say-”Win or Lose-We Riot!”)

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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