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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 06 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Washington Mystics @ Atlanta Dream (Thursday 7pm from Atlanta live on ESPN2), Chicago Sky @ Washington Mystics (Saturday 7pm Verizon Center); Boxing: Lateef Kayode vs. Matt Godfrey (Friday 11pm from Santa Ynez, CA live on Showtime), Hector Sanchez vs. Vincent Arroyo (Saturday 10:35pm from New York live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights-Kenny Galarza vs. Irving Garcia (Friday 8:30pm from New York live on ESPN2); Arena Football: AFL Philadelphia Soul @ Spokane Shock (Friday 8pm from Spokane live on NFL Network)

10. Mumford & Sons (Thursday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Phish (Saturday & Sunday 4:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Decemberists (Monday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Ronnie Dunn (Friday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Glee Live (Thursday 7:30pm Verizon Center); Portugal. The Man (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Scissor Sisters (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Cowboy Mouth (Friday 8pm Rams Head Live), NOFX (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Sully Erna of Godsmack (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); George Clinton & Parliament-Funkadelic (Monday 7:30pm Recher Theatre); The Bridge (Wednesday 8pm 8×10 Club); Marcy Playground (Saturday 5pm Dark Horse Bel Air, Monday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); U.S. Air Guitar Championships-DC Regional (Saturday 7pm 9:30 Club); Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons (Wednesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Go-Go’s (Friday 8pm Wolf Trap), Bright Eyes (Saturday 7pm Wolf Trap), Indigo Girls (Sunday 8pm Wolf Trap); Chelsea Handler (Saturday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Duncan Sheik (Saturday 7:30pm Birchmere), Natasha Bedingfield (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Bobby McFerrin (Saturday 7:30pm Warner Theatre); “True Grit” available on DVD & Blu-Ray (Tuesday); “Super 8″ opens in theaters (Friday)

You can be certain that I’ll be at Mumford & Sons Thursday night. Intern Timmy Hendrix tried to fail my ticket purchases, but he came through in the end. If you’re not there, I just feel bad for you.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd1GWaQf9Yk&feature=fvst[/youtube]

I wish I could say I was going to Phish as well. I’d go, but I have a bad feeling I might have to pass a drug test at some point in the future.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2izuYgnHukc[/youtube]

I will admit that I have no idea how Marcy Playground is still around 14 years after the ONLY song they ever had on the radio, but I kinda think it’s cool they’re playing in Harford County…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KT-r2vHeMM[/youtube]

And you know what, make fun of Glee all you want—but I am at least man enough to admit that I dig this.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbZcYy6AAGg[/youtube]

Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have admitted that.

9. Honfest (Saturday & Sunday Hampden); St. Nicholas Greek Folk Festival (Thursday-Sunday St. Nicholas Church); Ocean City Air Show (Friday-Sunday 16th Street Ocean City); Ocean City Restaurant Week (Tuesday-Monday throughout OC)

Can someone call Denise Whiting and make sure I’m allowed to call the event “Honfest”?

You see what I did there? That’s called REGIONAL current events humor. Take note, aspiring low-paid doughy morning sports jocks.

Can we all just agree to put aside the controversy and again enjoy Honfest this year? I mean, I’m hoping to do “The Creep” with John Waters myself…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLPZmPaHme0[/youtube]

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Pocono 500 (Sunday 1pm from Tunkhannock Township, PA live on FOX); IndyCar Series Firestone Twin 275s (Saturday 8pm from Fort Worth, TX live on VERSUS)

Lots of interesting stuff happening here. For example, have you ever heard the word “Tunkhannock” in your life before? And they’re holding two IRL races on the same night in the Lone Star State. That’s interesting, right?

No. Okay, well here’s a picture of Caity Lotz I saw the other day at Guyism. It’s not related to Auto Racing, but it’s definitely interesting-which is something Auto Racing has never provided…

caitylotz

7. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx St. Jude Classic (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Memphis); Champions Tour Greater Hickory Classic at Rock Barn (Friday 12:30pm Saturday & Sunday 1pm from Conover, NC live on Golf Channel); LPGA Tour State Farm Classic (Thursday-Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Springfield, IL on Golf Channel)

Speaking of excitement, here’s the weekend golf events.

So…ummm…anyone have some tumbleweeds we can watch blow around?

There’s good news from the golf world though, as David Feherty’s new Golf Channel show is about to debut…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-rN4-ES968&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

I’m so confused. Is it supposed to be a comedy?

6. Pro Wrestling: TNA Slammiversary (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

TNA is trying to sell the idea of “wrestling” because WWE banned the word from being used.

I have a better idea for TNA. Sell the idea of Mickie James. Repeatedly.

mickiejames

5. Soccer: Team USA vs. Canada (Tuesday 8pm from Detroit live on Fox Soccer Channel), Team USA vs. Panama (Saturday 8pm from Tampa Bay live on Fox Soccer Channel); MLS-San Jose Earthquakes @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet)

I know we got our asses kicked by Spain Saturday, but we can’t effing lose to Canada, can we? I mean, aren’t the Canadian soccer players going to be too distracted by the Stanley Cup Finals to even show up for the game at Ford Field?

I could post a lot of things here, but NOT posting the epic South Park song would be a mistake…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAYMJnO9LBQ[/youtube]

4. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 131-Junior Dos Santos vs. Shane Carwin (Saturday 9pm from Vancouver live on Pay-Per-View)

Boy, this event was SIGNIFICANTLY more exciting when it involved Brock Lesnar, wasn’t it?

No offense to Carwin or Dos Santos, who….are both fighters?

Seriously, everything is better when Brock Lesnar is involved. For example, Rikiski weighed 425 pounds. Remember what Lesnar did to him?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sqFambBnAM[/youtube]

3. Horse Racing: Belmont Stakes (Saturday 5pm from Elmont, NY live on NBC)

I’m not going to lie. The Belmont is my favorite of Rick’s calls all year, if only because he actually knows the song he’s supposed to sing before the race…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMZ0XIioWWY[/youtube]

By the way, I’ll give you a dollar** if you can name the 2010 Belmont winner off the top of your head*.

(*You checked Wikipedia…you had no idea a horse named Drosselmeyer ever existed.)
(**You and I both know I don’t have a dollar to give you.)

2. NBA Playoffs: NBA Finals-Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks (Game 4 Tuesday 9pm from Dallas live on ABC, Game 5 Thursday 9pm from Dallas live on ABC, Game 6 if necessary Sunday 8pm from Miami live on ABC)

Despite LeBron James missing another big shot in the closing moments of a game, America was saddened to see the Heat take a 2-1 lead in the Finals Sunday night.

But take heart America, we still have a lot of great things happening for us. For example, we stole Nina Dobrev from Bulgaria! (Thanks, WWTDD!)

dobrev

1. NHL Playoffs: Stanley Cup Finals-Vancouver Canucks vs. Boston Bruins (Game 4 Wednesday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS, Game 5 if necessary Friday 8pm from Vancouver live on NBC, Game 6 if necessary Monday 8pm from Boston live on NBC)

I can’t believe how much of a big deal I made about Team USA against Canada in soccer earlier only to turn around and remind everyone that the Canucks are doing God’s work against those *ssholes from Beantown in the Stanley Cup Finals.

Words could never express how much I despise Boston. Thank God Steven Tyler hasn’t made good music in 20 years or else I might feel bad about how much I’m forced to dislike him by proxy.

Seriously, Boston sucks. Just ask Tina Fey…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdwqXQr-UFM[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 23 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Byron Nelson Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Irving, TX), Champions Tour Senior PGA Championship (Thursday & Friday 12pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Louisville, KY); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Tony Thompson vs. Maurice Harris (Friday 9:30pm from Reno, NV live on ESPN2); Brew at the Zoo, and Wine too! (Saturday & Sunday 1pm Maryland Zoo); Arena Football: AFL Utah Blaze @ Iowa Barnstormers (Friday 8pm from Des Moines, IA live on NFL Network)

10. New Kids on the Block & Backstreet Boys (Sunday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Raphael Saadiq (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), The Maine/Augustana (Friday 6pm Rams Head Live); Steve Ranazzissi & Bryan Callen (Saturday 8pm & 10:30pm Recher Theatre); Slick Rick (Saturday 7pm Bourbon Street); Sister Hazel (Sunday 1pm Rams Head On Stage); Paul Simon (Friday 6pm 9:30 Club); America (Thursday & Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); J. Roddy Walston & The Business (Friday & Saturday 7:30pm Ottobar)

Boy…not a whole lot going on here this week, is there?

I don’t care for KNOTB or BSB, but that’s only because I have male genitalia. But you know who I DO like? Justin effing Timberlake.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRybEjxCfFM&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

There’s a young lady I know who thinks this song is as meaningful as I do…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f46ulX6uwGc[/youtube]

I know there’s no Art Garfunkel on this tour, but Paul Simon is still one of the greatest things there is about music…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJBhdKrwTOc[/youtube]

Like The Strokes? J Roddy Walston is better. Maybe MUCH better…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s3HS4zf5y4&feature=fvst[/youtube]

9. NHL Playoffs: Western Conference Finals-San Jose Sharks vs. Vancouver Canucks (Game 5 Tuesday 9pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS, Game 6 if necessary Thursday 9pm from San Jose live on VERSUS, Game 7 if necessary Saturday 8pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS); Eastern Conference Finals-Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (Game 6 Wednesday 8pm from Tampa Bay live on VERSUS, Game 7 Friday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS)

I’m assuming that at this point you HAVE to have seen the video of the Canucks fan flashing Ben Eager in the penalty box, right? No? Impossible…

beneager

If you click on THIS link, there’s a real picture. BUT!!!! Understand that this picture is NOT for children, it is NOT for the workplace, and it does NOT suck to be Ben Eager.

8. NBA Playoffs: Western Conference Finals-Dallas Mavericks vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Game 5 Wednesday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN, Game 6 if necessary Friday 9pm from Oklahoma City live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN); Eastern Conference Finals-Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls (Game 4 Tuesday 8:30pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 5 Thursday 8:30pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Saturday 8:30pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 7 if necessary Monday 8:30pm from Chicago live on TNT)

You mean to tell me there are things happening in basketball that DON’T involve ping pong balls? Color me stunned!

I honestly don’t know who I’m pulling for at this point. I never liked the Bulls growing up because I was kinda sick of seeing Michael Jordan winning every year. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to root for the Heat in this country unless you live on South Beach.

With the Eastern Conference teams out, I’m stuck trying to figure out which of the Western Conference teams to root for. I thought it might be the Thunder, but this whole Kevin Durant/Russell Westbrook “I’m better than you-NO, I’m better than you!” argument has been insufferable.

That being said, I attended a Mavs game this year. We were in Texas for the Super Bowl, and they were hosting the Washington Wizards.

Two things were accomplished that night. One-the ‘Zards lost, so Redskins fans were unhappy. I can ALWAYS get behind that. Two-they gave me a Rodrigue Beaubois bobblehead doll.

Not kidding. I have no idea if the thing ever made it back from DFA (there was a snowstorm disaster that week), but I got one-despite the fact that I had never (and still haven’t) heard of Rodrigue Beaubois.

And before I move on from hoops, umm….how did I miss this video of Blake Griffin dunking over A TIGER?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YyqsfecWAzM[/youtube]

7. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour French Open (Tuesday-Monday 5am live on Tennis Channel, Tuesday-Friday & Monday 12pm live on ESPN2, Saturday & Sunday 12pm live on NBC. All tennis from Paris)

A quick episode of “which would you rather?”

Would you rather spend a week in Paris with Caroline Wozniacki…

wozniacki

Or spend a week in Belgium with Paris Hilton???

parishilton

I’ll wait anxiously for your reply.

6. Baltimore Ravens Informal Practices (Tuesday-Thursday Unitas Stadium)

This event had no steam to begin with, but lost any potential steam it could have when they decided the public wouldn’t be able to attend due to commencement events at Towson that day.

That being said, I’m not really sure how there could have been any excitement in watching players (not wearing jerseys I assume) run around in 7-on-7 drills…but when the baseball team in town stinks I guess I can understand.

Of course, a practice session at Unitas Stadium might be the perfect place to show off a new toy…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ09qVDQf2k[/youtube]

5. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 130-Quinton “Rampage” Jackson vs. Matt Hamill (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on Pay-Per-View)

Rampage Jackson is a humorous MMA superstar. He’s REALLY good (I was actually in Vegas the night he destroyed Chuck Liddell) but he’s an absolute clown. Remember, he was the same guy that did THIS during an interview…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYmYA4ZPsIM[/youtube]

I feel like I pull for him…I’m just not really sure why.

4. “The Hangover Part II” out in theaters (Thursday)

Well, if this isn’t awesome I’m pretty sure I’ll just hate movies forever.

In the meantime, here’s Ed Helms’ song from the first one. There better damn well be another one in this one…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOdCWaTsIk[/youtube]

3. Soccer: UEFA Champions League Final-FC Barcelona vs. Manchester United (Saturday 2pm from London live on FOX); MLS-DC United @ Portland Timbers (Sunday 5pm from Portland live on Comcast SportsNet)

And here it is, the Super Bowl of European soccer. Every hipster this week will tell me why this is more important than anything else that ever happens in sports.

They’re wrong…but it IS a big deal.

I guess I’ll be pulling for Barcelona Saturday. I mean…they DO have Lionel freaking Messi…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZnUr8lcqjo[/youtube]

2. Auto Racing: IndyCar Series Indianapolis 500 (Sunday 11am from Indianapolis live on ABC); NASCAR Coca-Cola 600 (Sunday 6pm from Charlotte live on FOX)

Ahh…the Indy 500 is Sunday. So here…for absolutely no reason…are gratuitous pictures of Danica Patrick…

danicadanica

1. College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament Final Four-Denver University vs. Virginia (Saturday 4pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN2), Maryland vs. Duke (Saturday 6:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN2), NCAA Championship Game (Monday 3:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN); Division III NCAA Championship Game: Salisbury vs. Tufts (Sunday 7pm M&T Bank Stadium); Division II NCAA Championship Game: Adelphi vs. Mercyhurst (Sunday 4pm M&T Bank Stadium); Women’s College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament Final Four-Maryland vs. Duke (Friday 5pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com), Northwestern vs. North Carolina (Friday 7:30pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com), NCAA Championship Game (Sunday 4pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com)

Since it will be a few months before we can do this again during hoops season, so let’s channel Peter Rosenberg for both Terrapins’ lax teams…language of course NSFW. Go Terps!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYOgC2Qbqh4[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 23 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Byron Nelson Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Irving, TX), Champions Tour Senior PGA Championship (Thursday & Friday 12pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Louisville, KY); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Tony Thompson vs. Maurice Harris (Friday 9:30pm from Reno, NV live on ESPN2); Brew at the Zoo, and Wine too! (Saturday & Sunday 1pm Maryland Zoo); Arena Football: AFL Utah Blaze @ Iowa Barnstormers (Friday 8pm from Des Moines, IA live on NFL Network)

10. New Kids on the Block & Backstreet Boys (Sunday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Raphael Saadiq (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), The Maine/Augustana (Friday 6pm Rams Head Live); Steve Ranazzissi & Bryan Callen (Saturday 8pm & 10:30pm Recher Theatre); Slick Rick (Saturday 7pm Bourbon Street); Sister Hazel (Sunday 1pm Rams Head On Stage); Paul Simon (Friday 6pm 9:30 Club); America (Thursday & Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); J. Roddy Walston & The Business (Friday & Saturday 7:30pm Ottobar)

Boy…not a whole lot going on here this week, is there?

I don’t care for KNOTB or BSB, but that’s only because I have male genitalia. But you know who I DO like? Justin effing Timberlake.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRybEjxCfFM&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

There’s a young lady I know who thinks this song is as meaningful as I do…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f46ulX6uwGc[/youtube]

I know there’s no Art Garfunkel on this tour, but Paul Simon is still one of the greatest things there is about music…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJBhdKrwTOc[/youtube]

Like The Strokes? J Roddy Walston is better. Maybe MUCH better…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s3HS4zf5y4&feature=fvst[/youtube]

9. NHL Playoffs: Western Conference Finals-San Jose Sharks vs. Vancouver Canucks (Game 5 Tuesday 9pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS, Game 6 if necessary Thursday 9pm from San Jose live on VERSUS, Game 7 if necessary Saturday 8pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS); Eastern Conference Finals-Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (Game 6 Wednesday 8pm from Tampa Bay live on VERSUS, Game 7 Friday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS)

I’m assuming that at this point you HAVE to have seen the video of the Canucks fan flashing Ben Eager in the penalty box, right? No? Impossible…

beneager

If you click on THIS link, there’s a real picture. BUT!!!! Understand that this picture is NOT for children, it is NOT for the workplace, and it does NOT suck to be Ben Eager.

8. NBA Playoffs: Western Conference Finals-Dallas Mavericks vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Game 5 Wednesday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN, Game 6 if necessary Friday 9pm from Oklahoma City live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN); Eastern Conference Finals-Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls (Game 4 Tuesday 8:30pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 5 Thursday 8:30pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Saturday 8:30pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 7 if necessary Monday 8:30pm from Chicago live on TNT)

You mean to tell me there are things happening in basketball that DON’T involve ping pong balls? Color me stunned!

I honestly don’t know who I’m pulling for at this point. I never liked the Bulls growing up because I was kinda sick of seeing Michael Jordan winning every year. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to root for the Heat in this country unless you live on South Beach.

With the Eastern Conference teams out, I’m stuck trying to figure out which of the Western Conference teams to root for. I thought it might be the Thunder, but this whole Kevin Durant/Russell Westbrook “I’m better than you-NO, I’m better than you!” argument has been insufferable.

That being said, I attended a Mavs game this year. We were in Texas for the Super Bowl, and they were hosting the Washington Wizards.

Two things were accomplished that night. One-the ‘Zards lost, so Redskins fans were unhappy. I can ALWAYS get behind that. Two-they gave me a Rodrigue Beaubois bobblehead doll.

Not kidding. I have no idea if the thing ever made it back from DFA (there was a snowstorm disaster that week), but I got one-despite the fact that I had never (and still haven’t) heard of Rodrigue Beaubois.

And before I move on from hoops, umm….how did I miss this video of Blake Griffin dunking over A TIGER?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YyqsfecWAzM[/youtube]

7. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour French Open (Tuesday-Monday 5am live on Tennis Channel, Tuesday-Friday & Monday 12pm live on ESPN2, Saturday & Sunday 12pm live on NBC. All tennis from Paris)

A quick episode of “which would you rather?”

Would you rather spend a week in Paris with Caroline Wozniacki…

wozniacki

Or spend a week in Belgium with Paris Hilton???

parishilton

I’ll wait anxiously for your reply.

6. Baltimore Ravens Informal Practices (Tuesday-Thursday Unitas Stadium)

This event had no steam to begin with, but lost any potential steam it could have when they decided the public wouldn’t be able to attend due to commencement events at Towson that day.

That being said, I’m not really sure how there could have been any excitement in watching players (not wearing jerseys I assume) run around in 7-on-7 drills…but when the baseball team in town stinks I guess I can understand.

Of course, a practice session at Unitas Stadium might be the perfect place to show off a new toy…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ09qVDQf2k[/youtube]

5. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 130-Quinton “Rampage” Jackson vs. Mark Hamill (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on Pay-Per-View)

Rampage Jackson is a humorous MMA superstar. He’s REALLY good (I was actually in Vegas the night he destroyed Chuck Liddell) but he’s an absolute clown. Remember, he was the same guy that did THIS during an interview…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYmYA4ZPsIM[/youtube]

I feel like I pull for him…I’m just not really sure why.

4. “The Hangover Part II” out in theaters (Thursday)

Well, if this isn’t awesome I’m pretty sure I’ll just hate movies forever.

In the meantime, here’s Ed Helms’ song from the first one. There better damn well be another one in this one…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOdCWaTsIk[/youtube]

3. Soccer: UEFA Champions League Final-FC Barcelona vs. Manchester United (Saturday 2pm from London live on FOX); MLS-DC United @ Portland Timbers (Sunday 5pm from Portland live on Comcast SportsNet)

And here it is, the Super Bowl of European soccer. Every hipster this week will tell me why this is more important than anything else that ever happens in sports.

They’re wrong…but it IS a big deal.

I guess I’ll be pulling for Barcelona Saturday. I mean…they DO have Lionel freaking Messi…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZnUr8lcqjo[/youtube]

2. Auto Racing: IndyCar Series Indianapolis 500 (Sunday 11am from Indianapolis live on ABC); NASCAR Coca-Cola 600 (Sunday 6pm from Charlotte live on FOX)

Ahh…the Indy 500 is Sunday. So here…for absolutely no reason…are gratuitous pictures of Danica Patrick…

danicadanica

1. College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament Final Four-Denver University vs. Virginia (Saturday 4pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN2), Maryland vs. Duke (Saturday 6:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN2), NCAA Championship Game (Monday 3:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN); Division III NCAA Championship Game: Salisbury vs. Tufts (Sunday 7pm M&T Bank Stadium); Division II NCAA Championship Game: Adelphi vs. Mercyhurst (Sunday 4pm M&T Bank Stadium); Women’s College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament Final Four-Maryland vs. Duke (Friday 5pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com), Northwestern vs. North Carolina (Friday 7:30pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com), NCAA Championship Game (Sunday 4pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com)

Since it will be a few months before we can do this again during hoops season, so let’s channel Peter Rosenberg for both Terrapins’ lax teams…language of course NSFW. Go Terps!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYOgC2Qbqh4[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 13 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Crowne Plaza Invitational at Colonial (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Fort Worth, TX), LPGA Tour Sybase Match Play Championship (Thursday & Friday 6:30pm, Saturday & Sunday 4:30pm from Gladstone, NJ live on Golf Channel); Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena); Soccer: Team USA Women vs. Japan (Wednesday 7pm from Cary, NC live on ESPN2), AFC Ajax @ DC United (Sunday 5pm RFK Stadium); Boxing: Bernard Hopkins vs. Jean Pascal (Saturday 10pm from Montreal live on HBO), Friday Night Fights-Joel Julio vs. Antwone Smith (Friday 9pm from Newark, NJ live on ESPN2); Mixed Martial Arts: Bellator Fighting Championships 45 (Saturday 9pm from Lake Charles, LA live on MTV2); Arena Football: AFL Arizona Rattlers @ New Orleans VooDoo (Friday 8pm from New Orleans live on NFL Network)

10. Sugarland/Little Big Town/Matt Nathanson (Sunday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Jason Aldean (Saturday 4:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); Apocalyptica/Finger Eleven/Charm City Devils (Thursday 6pm Power Plant Live); Blue October (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (Wednesday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); The Wailers (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); En Vogue (Sunday 8pm Bourbon Street); Pauly Shore (Saturday 7pm Rams Head on Stage); Arctic Monkeys (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), B.O.B. (Thursday 6pm 9:30 Club), The Cars (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); (hed)p.e. (Thursday 6:15pm Jaxx); Blind Boys of Alabama (Thursday 7:30pm Birchmere); DC101 Chili Cook-Off feat. Weezer, Papa Roach, Seether, Neon Trees, Panic! at the Disco (Saturday 12pm RFK Stadium); Preakness Infieldfest feat. Train, Bruno Mars, Puddle of Mudd, Phil Vassar (Saturday 11am Pimlico); Chesapeake Bay Blues Festival feat. Chris Isaak, Little Feat, Kenny Wayne Shepherd (Saturday-Sunday Sandy Point State Park); Ben Harper “Give Till It’s Gone” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Make fun of me if you will, but I dig Sugarland. Even more than that, I REALLY dig Little Big Town…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skAOb_EUE_M[/youtube]

I wish I could tell you I was excited about the Preakness infield. Unfortunately I cannot. But there will be 2-3 Train songs you’ll probably find me singing along to…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wlEcgwjvcw[/youtube]

I’d so be at Sandy Point if it wasn’t Preakness weekend. Especially for Little Feat…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkZsSydzQjM[/youtube]

I feel like I’ve seen Finger Eleven at Power Plant before. (I say that because I KNOW I’ve seen Finger Eleven at Power Plant before.) Say what you want, this song still kicks a little ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJk6gZuPKRE[/youtube]

9. “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tide” in theaters (Friday)

I don’t go to the movies much, but I was recently offered tickets to an advance screening of Pirates. I decided to take them.

I’m into the movies, but not “freakout” into them. I mean, not like Michael Bolton…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI6CfKcMhjY[/youtube]

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Showdown (Saturday 7pm from Charlotte live on SPEED), NASCAR All-Star Race (Saturday 8pm from Charlotte live on SPEED); IndyCar Series: Indianapolis 500 Pole Day Qualifying (Saturday 11am & 4:30pm from Indianapolis live on VERSUS), Indianapolis 500 Bump Day Qualifying (Sunday 12pm from Indianapolis live on VERSUS)

I don’t understand why NASCAR fans don’t like Kyle Busch. He’s (apparently) married to something named Samantha Sarcinella. Samantha Sarcinella (apparently) looks like this…

sarcinella

So…ummm….I’m a fan.

7. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour French Open (Sunday 5am live on Tennis Channel 1pm live on ESPN2, Monday 5am live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from Paris)

Because I’m a tennis snob, I will be referring to the event as Roland Garros. You loser Americans can call it the “French Open.”

We don’t usually like much about France in this country, but I feel like the trip to the clay is something we should be able to enjoy.

Of course, my favorite thing about France is Def Jam poet Jean K. Jean…

[dailymotion]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8w2n2_saturday-night-live-update-jean-k-j_fun[/dailymotion]

6. NBA Playoffs: Eastern Conference Finals-Chicago Bulls vs. Miami Heat (Game 2 Wednesday 8:30pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 3 Sunday 8:30pm from Miami live on TNT); Western Conference Finals-Dallas Mavericks vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Game 1 Tuesday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN, Game 2 Thursday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN, Game 3 Saturday 9pm from Oklahoma City live on ESPN, Game 4 Monday 9pm from Oklahoma City live on ESPN)

I can’t root for the Chicago Bulls. They have both Carlos Boozer and Luol Deng on their roster. Rooting for a roster littered with Duke players is like* rooting for the Taliban.

(*It’s not like that at all. You and I both know that. But come on, let me have SOMETHING.)

That being said, Taj Gibson is worth rooting for…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOOeMg7eqYM[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmN-MIbvLks&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

Wow.

5. Pro Wrestling: WWE Over the Limit (Sunday 8pm from Seattle live on Pay-Per-View)

I probably won’t be getting Over The Limit Sunday night. Mostly because I don’t REALLY need to see Jerry “The King” Lawler face Michael effing Cole again.

But if the Bella Twins were more involved, I feel like I’d be more compelled to take a gander…

bellas

4. NHL Playoffs: Eastern Conference Finals-Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (Game 2 Tuesday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS, Game 3 Thursday 8pm from Tampa Bay live on VERSUS, Game 4 Saturday 1:30pm from Tampa Bay live on NBC, Game 5 if necessary Monday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS); Western Conference Finals-San Jose Sharks vs. Vancouver Canucks (Game 2 Wednesday 9pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS, Game 3 Friday 9pm from San Jose live on VERSUS, Game 4 Sunday 3pm from San Jose live on NBC)

You think the suits in New York (Toronto?) are just salivating over the possibility of a Tampa-San Jose Stanley Cup Finals showdown?

I know I’m….looking for other things to watch.

I guess I’m pulling for Tampa? I mean, they beat the Washington Capitals, so they’ve already done the Lord’s work.

Plus…you know…Hulk Hogan is a fan.

hulk

3. Ray’s Summer Days (Thursday-Saturday throughout Baltimore-locations include Ruth Chris Havana Club, Patterson Park, Perry Hall Lanes, etc.)

I have to admit I’m both surprised and hurt.

I mean, how could Ray Lewis schedule an event without carefully planning it around the schedule of his dear friend Glenn Clark?…

rayglenn

Honest mistake I’m sure.

2. College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Johns Hopkins vs. Denver (Saturday 2:30pm from Hempstead, NY live on ESPN2) Maryland vs. Syracuse (Sunday 12pm from Foxborough, MA live on ESPNU); Division 3 NCAA Tournament-Roanoke @ Stevenson (Wednesday 4pm Caves Athletic Complex-semifinal Sunday at Salisbury or vs. Dickinson at CAC if Mustangs win); Women’s College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Princeton @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm Field Hockey & Lacrosse Complex College Park), Loyola @ North Carolina (Saturday 1pm from Chapel Hill, NC streaming live on NCAA.com); High School Lacrosse: MIAA Lacrosse Championships-A Conference Semifinals (Tuesday 6pm & 8:30pm Unitas Stadium), A, B & C Conference Finals (Friday 3pm, 5:30pm & 8pm Unitas Stadium)

Whatever happens this weekend in the NCAA Tournament, there is NO WAY it will be anywhere NEAR as cool as what the Terrapins did in their opening round win over the Tar Heels…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ds5qLbqkQs[/youtube]

I can’t get over it. Holy crap that’s awesome.

1. Horse Racing: Preakness Stakes (Saturday 4:30pm from Pimlico live on NBC), Black-Eyed Susan Day (Friday 4pm from Pimlico live on VERSUS); Preakness Week events throughout Baltimore (Tuesday-Sunday)

Two things we know (sadly) won’t be happening Saturday.

One-The previously legendary “Running of the Urinals”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIcyFSYhvV4[/youtube]

Two-Rick From Reisterstown getting ANYTHING right…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAenPfeIRGo[/youtube]

We’re improving things around here!

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 25 April 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Zurich Classic of New Orleans (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Avondale, LA), LPGA Tour Avnet LPGA Classic (Thursday & Friday 12:30pm, Saturday & Sunday 4pm. All golf from Mobile, AL live on Golf Channel); Soccer: U.S. Open Cup-New England Revolution @ DC United (Tuesday 7:30pm RFK Stadium), MLS-DC United @ Houston Dynamo (Friday 8:30pm from Houston live on Fox Soccer Channel)

10. Rise Against/Bad Religion (Wednesday 6pm Rams Head Live, Tuesday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Guster (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Jackie Greene (Sunday 6:30pm Rams Head Live, Wednesday 7:30pm Birchmere); Stone Temple Pilots (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), Wiz Khalifa (Thursday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Alkaline Trio (Sunday 6:30pm Recher Theatre); Saliva (Friday 7pm Bourbon Street); Jon Spencer Blues Explosion (Wednesday 8pm Ottobar); Rockapella (Sunday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); 30 Seconds to Mars (Wednesday 7pm Patriot Center); Dan Band (Friday 7pm 9:30 Club); Peter Bjorn and John (Saturday 7pm 9:30 Club); Brand New (Tuesday 6:30pm Sonar); Neil Young (Wednesday & Thursday 8pm Hippodrome); UMBC Quadmania feat. Snoop Dogg (Friday 8pm RAC Arena); Sweetlife Festival feat. The Strokes, Girl Talk, Ra Ra Riot, Lupe Fiasco, Cold War Kids (Sunday 12pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Tony Rock (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Brian Regan (Sunday 7pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); David Crosby & Graham Nash (Monday 8pm Strathmore); Bill Bellamy (Thursday-Saturday Baltimore Comedy Factory); “A Toast to William Donald Schaefer” (Tuesday 5pm Phillips Harborplace)

So you mean to tell me both Pier Six AND Merriweather are opening this week? TREMENDOUS news! Perhaps there WILL be a Summer this year after all!

And STP is opening Pier Six? I think I’ll stop by after the Schaefer toast!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OSlj_J6CCQ[/youtube]

Wiz Khalifa is a Pittsburgh Steelers fan. If you enjoy “Black & Yellow” you’re a bad person. If you enjoy other Wiz Khalifa tunes…well…this could go either way.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhQz-0QVmQ0[/youtube]

Funny story about The Strokes. Their drummer was dating Drew Barrymore when they played HFStival back in 2006. I was wandering around backstage and nearly tackled her because she was roughly 3 feet tall.

Wait…did I say “funny”? I meant “here’s something I can say about the Strokes before posting their video. It’s non-sensical.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_l09H-3zzgA[/youtube]

When I went to UMBC, Busta Rhymes played Quadmania. This year they’ve got Snoop Dogg. Meanwhile…Towson got Reel Big Fish and Far East Movement for their concert. Advantage…once again…UMBC.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2hc869OVXCw&feature=fvst[/youtube]

Neil Young’s coming to town. We all have one uncle who is FREAKING OUT in anticipation…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTTsyk-pyd8[/youtube]

9. Towsontown Spring Festival (Saturday & Sunday throughout downtown Towson); Citypaper Brewfest (Saturday 1pm Broadway Square Fells Point)

Another sign that Summer could actually happen this year? Two AMAZING events that happen to fall on the same weekend that I have to spend sitting behind a desk in Owings Mills! (Hey…at least I get Sunday.)

If you’re not familiar, Towson looks lovely as Spring finally turns to Summer. You know what I mean, right? “Lovely”?

Really? I have to spell this out for you?

tu

Yeah…it still doesn’t do it justice.

8. NBA Playoffs: Eastern Conference Quarterfinals-Indiana Pacers vs. Chicago Bulls (Game 5 Tuesday 8pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Thursday from Indianapolis TBD, Game 7 if necessary Saturday TBD from Chicago live on TNT), Atlanta Hawks vs. Orlando Magic (Game 5 Tuesday 7:30pm from Orlando live on NBATV, Game 6 if necessary Thursday TBD from Atlanta, Game 7 if necessary Saturday TBD from Orlando live on TNT), Philadelphia 76ers vs. Miami Heat (Game 5 Wednesday 7pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Philly, Game 7 if necessary Sunday TBD from Miami); Western Conference Quarterfinals-New Orleans Hornets vs. Los Angeles Lakers (Game 5 Tuesday 10:30pm from LA live on TNT, Game 6 Thursday TBD from New Orleans live on TNT, Game 7 if necessary Saturday TBD from LA live on TNT), Memphis Grizzlies vs. San Antonio Spurs (Game 5 Wednesday TBD from San Antonio, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Memphis, Game 7 if necessary Sunday TBD from San Antonio), Denver Nuggets vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Game 5 Wednesday TBD from Oklahoma City, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Denver, Game 7 if necessary Sunday TBD from Oklahoma City), Dallas Mavericks vs. Portland Trailblazers (Game 6 Thursday TBD from Portland, Game 7 if necessary Saturday TBD from Dallas live on TNT)

What I like? The Washington Wizards never sniffed the playoffs. What I like more? Steve Blake is over his bout with the chicken pox. What I like even more than that? JUEVOS!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUy3gFYF48w[/youtube]

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Matthew and Daniel Hansen 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Richmond live on FOX); Itaipava Sao Paulo Indy 300 (Sunday 12pm from Sao Paulo, Brazil live on VERSUS)

This week’s NASCAR race is called the “Matthew and Daniel Hansen 400.”

Rex Snider…please defend this somehow.

I’m sorry I can’t make the trip to Richmond by the way…I would have looked forward to doing what other NASCAR fans do…

nascar

6. NHL Playoffs: Washington Capitals vs. TBA (2nd round playoffs Friday-Monday from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet/VERSUS/NBC)

Everyone keeps asking…who would you want to see the Caps play in the next round?

I keep responding…”Are the 1980′s Edmonton Oilers an option?”

oilers

5. Pro Wrestling: WWE Extreme Rules (Sunday 8pm from Tampa Bay live on Pay-Per-View)

They’re calling this event “Extreme Rules.” They might as well call it “we used to do awesome things…now we just do a lot of John Cena.”

This event used to be called “ECW One Night Stand.” It used to be really good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvmQDYIZUcA[/youtube]

4. College Lacrosse: Loyola @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 2pm from Homewood Field live on ABC2/ESPN3.com); St. Joseph’s @ Towson (Saturday 7:30pm Unitas Stadium)

I have an AWFUL feeling that Saturday night’s game could be Tony Seaman’s last as Tigers head coach. If it is…the whole Towson community owes Coach a MAJOR debt of gratitude.

As far as JHU-Loyola goes, I get the feeling there will be more than one “Lax bro” in attendance…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nqg01Nk3SYI[/youtube]

3. College Football: Maryland Red/White Spring Game (Saturday 3:30pm Byrd Stadium); Towson University Tiger Bowl (Saturday 1pm Unitas Stadium)

Torrey Smith might be gone, but there will be a receiver on the field for the Terps Saturday that might be even more familiar to you…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmmnA8WVqW8[/youtube]

2. Mixed Martial Arts: Shogun Fights IV (Saturday 6:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); UFC 129: Georges St. Pierre vs. Jake Shields (Saturday 9pm from Toronto live on Pay-Per-View)

I don’t think I need to explain again to you how much I think you should attend Shogun Fights Saturday night. John Rallo does a HELL of a job putting the event on. It’s outstanding. There will be a number of Ravens in attendance…DT’s Kelly Gregg and Arthur Jones have even worked out with Rallo at Ground Control.

(You can hear Gregg, Rallo and Thyrl Nelson talk about that on last week’s episode of “The MMA Report” on AM1570 WNST in the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault at WNST.net!)

Speaking of Ravens, did you miss Tom Zbikowski’s knockout of Blake Werner Saturday night? Here it is…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBNewPy3frY[/youtube]

Tom was introduced as an “All-Pro.” He now has the responsibility to live up to that this season.

1. NFL Draft (Thursday 8pm Friday 6pm Saturday 12pm from New York live on NFL Network & ESPN)

Jimmy Smith? Jon Baldwin? Mike Pouncey? Derrek Sherrod? Cameron Heyward? Muhammad Wilkerson? Torrey Smith? Nate Solder? JJ Watt?

There are going to be a bunch of new players headed to Charm City this weekend, but I feel like the only way I could be satisfied is if I heard one particular name called Thursday night…Masha Novoselova. (Thanks Guyism!)

masha

I definitely feel like I could root for her.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 11 April 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Arena Football-AFL Tampa Bay Storm @ Philadelphia Soul (Friday 8pm from Philly live on NFL Network); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Ivan Popoca vs. Ruslan Provodnikov (Friday 9pm from Temecula, CA live on ESPN2), Andre Berto vs. Victor Ortiz/Amir Khan vs. Paul McCloskey (Saturday 9:45pm from Mashantucket, CT & Manchester, ENG live on HBO), Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Orlando Salido (Saturday 10:30pm from Bayamon, Puerto Rico); Mixed Martial Arts: Bellator Fighting Championships 41 (Saturday 9pm from Yuma, AZ live on MTV2); Soccer: MLS-DC United @ Toronto FC (Saturday 7pm from Toronto live on Fox Soccer Channel)

10. Trans-Siberian Orchestra (Friday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Sick Puppies/Framing Hanley/Adelita’s Way (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Three Days Grace/My Darkest Days (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live/Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Dirty Heads (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Seether/Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Several Species: The Pink Floyd Experience (Saturday 8pm Rams Head Live); All Mighty Senators (Friday 8pm 8×10 Club); Johns Hopkins University Spring Fair feat. Chiddy Bang (Friday-Sunday JHU); Cake (Thursday-Saturday 7pm 9:30 Club); Aimee Mann (Tuesday & Wednesday 7:30pm Birchmere); KT Tunstall (Wednesday 8pm Sixth & I Historic Synagogue), Chris Cornell (Sunday 8pm Sixth & I Historic Synagogue); Patrice O’Neal (Friday-Sunday DC Improv); Foo Fighters “Wasting Light” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

You’re thinking to yourself…”TSO? Christmas is 8 and a half months away!” Well…try this one on for size…

[youtube]http://youtu.be/Rkzs1h1vu0E[/youtube]

Framing Hanley made a major mistake. Art Alexakis from Everclear once told me bands should “NEVER release a cover as their first single.” That being said, Framing Hanley’s take on Lil’ Wayne is pretty good…

[youtube]http://youtu.be/vbUR0SRceD0[/youtube]

If you weren’t a Soundgarden/Temple of the Dog/Audioslave fan; you may not realize how amazing a Chris Cornell solo show has the possibility of being…

[youtube]http://youtu.be/5Pt03oU6RHI[/youtube]

The Foo Fighters are amazing. Every time they put something new out you say to yourself “Wow…that might be the best thing they’ve done.” Yet they’re no one’s favorite band. It’s wild…

[youtube]http://youtu.be/kbpqZT_56Ns[/youtube]

9. Roller Derby: Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena)

kiss

Now you’re thinking to yourself “Okay Glenn, how did you go from an entry about the CCRG to a picture of Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page kissing???”

This is too easy.

Drew and Ellen kissed as part of the promotional tour for the film “Whip It”, which was…of course…about Roller Derby. Here’s another promo photo…

drewellen

That would be another point for me. I’m running away with this one.

8. Horse Racing: Arkansas Derby (Saturday 5pm from Hot Springs, AK live on HRTV), Decanter Wine Festival (Saturday 11am Pimlico)

I’m realizing more and more that my second annual pilgrimage to Louisville for the Kentucky Derby is…like…RIGHT around the corner.  It means I have to consider my wardrobe again.

Last year I went with THIS on Kentucky Oaks day…

oaks

I’m the one on the left. I swear.

And then I wore THIS on Derby day…

derby

Look, I tend to dress like a bit of a homeless slob for most of the year…so…I like the idea of looking good just for these days. With that in mind, any suggestions?

7. Tennis: Monte Carlo Rolex Masters (Tuesday-Friday 4:30am, Saturday 7am Sunday 8am from Roquebrune-Cap-Martin, France live on Tennis Channel)

Oh good. Clay courts. The place where the American men who aren’t good enough to win the rest of the year somehow actually get worse.

I don’t understand it either.

But since the event is on the clay, shouldn’t we just go ahead and give the title to this man?

kuerten

(Edit from GMC: If you knew that was Gustavo Kuerten, we should probably consider a life together.)

6. Golf: PGA Tour Valero Texas Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from San Antonio), Champions Tour Outback Steakhouse Pro-Am (Friday 12:30pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 4pm Sunday 1pm live on NBC)

Outback Steakhouse Pro-Am? TOTAL excuse for me to post a picture of a Bloomin’ Onion!!!

onion

Words really aren’t necessary after that, right?

5. Auto Racing: NASCAR Aaron’s 499 (Sunday 1pm from Talladega, AL live on FOX); IndyCar Series Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach (Sunday 3:30pm from Long Beach, CA live on VERSUS)

Did someone say Talladega??? Ricky Bobby was on TNT the other night…

[youtube]http://youtu.be/BWKisUSxjXk[/youtube]

Thank God for this movie. Could you imagine if I actually had to know who had won each NASCAR race during the course of the year?

I know they were in Texas last week-who won that one? Davey Allison? Was that the name of a real driver?

4. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Lockdown” (Sunday 8pm from Cincinnati live on Pay-Per-View)

Every match inside a steel cage? YES PLEASE!

In fact I’d be PARTICULARLY interested if Angelina Love was in one of those matches…

alove

3. NBA: Washington Wizards @ Cleveland Cavaliers (Wednesday 8pm from Cleveland live on Comcast SportsNet); NBA Playoffs (Saturday-Monday live on ABC, ESPN and TNT)

And sadly, the season ends for the Washington Wizards. Of course, we’ll always have the memories…

Like…

Yep. It was a hell of a season.

2. NHL Playoffs: New York Rangers @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7:30pm from Verizon Center live on VERSUS), New York Rangers @ Washington Capitals (Friday 7:30pm from Verizon Center live on VERSUS), Washington Capitals @ New York Rangers (Sunday 3pm from New York live on NBC)

Look, I appreciate the fact that the Caps are going to play a game at the Civic Center next year. Not because I like the Caps, but because I appreciate anything that brings money to the city. If I want folks to praise Shogun Fights, I have to be willing to praise the DC hockey team.

That being said, it’s going to be really awkward pulling for the Rangers over the next few weeks considering how much I dislike the Yankees.

But seriously, how can you root against these guys?

[youtube]http://youtu.be/o1OA5niEPm0[/youtube]

1. College Lacrosse: Johns Hopkins @ Maryland (Saturday 8pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU); Loyola @ Georgetown (Saturday 7pm from Kehoe Field live on AM1570 WNST); Towson @ Penn State (Saturday 7pm from University Park, PA live on ABC2 & ESPN3.com); Army @ Navy (Saturday 2pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on CBS Sports); Stevenson @ Salisbury (Saturday 12pm Sea Gull Stadium)

I (secretly) pull for the Blue Jays almost every week of the year.

Not this one.

turtle

It’s the 107th matchup between the Terps and the Jays. I’m hoping for 107-0 in honor of that.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 04 April 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Horse Racing: Illinois Derby (Saturday 5pm from Stickney/Cicero, IL live on TVG), Santa Anita Derby (Saturday 5pm from Arcadia, CA live on HRTV); Soccer: U.S. Open Cup-Philadelphia Union @ DC United (Wednesday 7:30pm RFK Stadium), MLS-Los Angeles Galaxy @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm RFK Stadium); Boxing: Erik Morales vs. Marcos Maidana (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on HBO PPV), Friday Night Fights-David Lemieux vs. Marco Antonio Rubio (Friday 9pm from Montreal live on ESPN2); Tennis: ATP Tour U.S. Men’s Clay Court Championship (Saturday 2pm Sunday 3pm from Houston live on Tennis Channel); Arena Football: AFL Dallas Vigilantes vs. Georgia Force (Friday 8pm from Duluth, GA live on NFL Network)

10. Marsha Ambrosius & Melanie Fiona (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live); Bill Burr (Friday 7 & 9:30pm Recher Theatre), Aimee Mann (Sunday 7pm Recher Theatre); Colin Hay (Sunday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); House of Pain (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Toad The Wet Sprocket (Saturday 7pm 9:30 Club), Old 97′s (Sunday 7pm 9:30 Club); Dirty Heads (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Widespread Panic (Tuesday & Wednesday 8pm Warner Theatre); Ralphie May (Saturday 8pm Lisner Auditorium); Buddy Guy (Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere); Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons (Saturday 8:30pm Hippodrome)

House of Pain is still awesome, even if only one song REALLY matters…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9Q0jPyrja0[/youtube]

If you don’t love this Toad The Wet Sprocket song, we’ll NEVER be friends…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZpUUrEWnWQ[/youtube]

I got the chance to hang out with Rhett Miller from the Old 97′s on Radio Row in Dallas at the Super Bowl this year, and I COMPLETELY nerded out.

rhettmiller

If you’re not familiar, please to be checking them out…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDDyD0Hj5n0[/youtube]

I listened to a lot of WQSR growing up thanks to my father. I’m grateful. It taught me the significance of artists like Frankie Valli…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE40KM4SGAY[/youtube]

9. Cirque du Soleil “Totem” opens (Thursday 8pm Grand Chapiteau at the Westport Waterfront); Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus present Barnum 200 (Thursday 10:30am & 7:30pm, Friday 7:30pm, Saturday 11:30am 3:30pm & 7:30pm, Sunday 1pm & 5pm 1st Mariner Arena)

I used to be a big fan of the circus, but…you know…I’m not 8 anymore. Everyone keeps telling me about how great Cirque is, but I feel like I couldn’t enjoy it without the Paul Rudd treatment from “Knocked Up”.

Instead, the only circus-related activity I enjoy watching involves YouTube and a certain former WWF star…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC4qriqlfDM[/youtube]

It’s almost unbelievable to remember Doink The Clown having faced Triple H…like…ever.

8. Pro Wrestling: Maryland Championship Wrestling “Bodyslam Autism” (Friday 7:30pm The New Green Room Dundalk)

Neat! Another chance for me to nerd out about rasslin’!

So…who watched WrestleMania? Who thought it was a bit over the top how much they had The Undertaker sell his injuries after forcing HHH to tap?

Who has an opinion on the subject and has ALSO recently had sex with a girl?

Nope…didn’t think so.

Eh, who cares. Let’s keep nerding out.

Was the Snooki thing cool? I hated (but understood) everything about why WWE did it-and I know they thought this move should put her over…but honestly, was this cool???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed0LaWLy5N8[/youtube]

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Samsung Mobile 500 (Saturday 7:30pm from Fort Worth, TX live on FOX); IndyCar Series Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama (Sunday 3pm from Birmingham, AL live on VERSUS)

I used to date a gal who was from the DFW area. Apparently the NASCAR race is a big deal down there.

You know what’s a BIGGER deal down there?

texas

Yep.

6. NBA: Detroit Pistons @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Indiana Pacers (Wednesday 7pm from Indianapolis live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Boston Celtics (Friday 7:30pm from Boston live on Comcast SportsNet), Atlanta Hawks @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Boston Celtics @ Washington Wizards (Monday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

Just in time for the season to be over, the ‘Zards have actually won a couple of games recently! Neat trick!

Elsewhere in the country, there are actual significant pro basketball games being played. Like in Chicago, where Derrick Rose…is…amazing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QmcFh-hOg8[/youtube]

5. Women’s College Basketball: NCAA Championship Game-Notre Dame vs. Texas A&M (Tuesday 8:30pm from Indianapolis live on ESPN)

And if the Aggies end up winning, we’ll turn to Shirley Q Liquor to celebrate…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbDX22SGZV0[/youtube]

(Yes, that is usually playing on “Elliott in the Morning” around the same time I’m arriving at 1550 Hart Rd. each morning. And it’s still funny every time.)

4. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce-Nick Diaz vs. Paul Daley (Saturday 10pm from San Diego live on Showtime); Bellator Fighting Championships 40 (Saturday 9pm from Newkirk, OK live on MTV2)

I poked my head at Bellator fighting on MTV2 the other night. It wasn’t that bad. I mean, it isn’t a marquee promotion for a reason-but it’s at LEAST watchable.

Of course, it’s not exactly the best thing I’ve ever seen on MTV2. That of course involved one Chris Pontius…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xj8QzRaW68[/youtube]

Does enjoying Wildboyz make me kind of an idiot? I mean, I can accept that.

3. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Toronto Maple Leafs (Tuesday 7pm from Toronto live on Comcast SportsNet), Florida Panthers @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Washington Capitals @ Florida Panthers (Saturday 7pm from Sunrise, FL live on Comcast SportsNet); College Hockey: NCAA Frozen Four-Minnesota Duluth vs. Notre Dame (Thursday 5pm from St. Paul, MN live on ESPN2 & ESPN3.com), Michigan vs. North Dakota (Thursday 8:30pm from St. Paul, MN live on ESPN2 & ESPN3.com), National Championship Game (Saturday 7pm from St. Paul, MN live on ESPN & ESPN3.com)

And if after the game the Leafs and Caps decided to merge into one team, their logo would look something like the one on the right below (Thanks Puck Daddy!)…

leafs
And you know what? I don’t care for anything from Washington-but that’s actually kind of an awesome logo. I might be all in.

2. College Lacrosse: Fairfield @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST); Albany @ Johns Hopkins (Friday 7:30pm from Homewood Field live on ESPNU); Towson @ UMBC (Wednesday 7:30pm UMBC Stadium), Binghamton @ UMBC (Saturday 12pm from UMBC Stadium live on ABC2/ESPN3.com); UMass @ Towson (Saturday 1pm Unitas Stadium); Maryland @ Navy (Friday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on CBS Sports); Stevenson @ Frostburg State (Wednesday 4pm Bobcat Stadium), Stevenson @ St. Mary’s (Saturday 1pm Seahawk Stadium)

It’s the big Baltimore County battle Wednesday night in Catonsville.  Representing the East Side…

towson

And from our friends on the West Side, an actual photo from the women’s bathroom inside the Chemistry building at UMBC…

umbc

So…you know…advantage Tigers and all.

1. Golf: PGA Tour-The Masters (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on ESPN, Saturday 3:30pm Sunday 2pm live on CBS. All Golf from Augusta, GA)

With no offense to the nerds (like Drew Forrester) who will watch this pantsless this weekend, there’s only one REAL reason to watch this event (unless somehow Tiger Woods starts playing golf again)….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRv6JwWk4As[/youtube]

Hello friends.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 21 February 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Women’s College Basketball-Virginia Tech @ Maryland (Thursday 7:30pm Comcast Center); Boxing: Miguel Acosta vs. Brandon Rios (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights: Juan Carlos Burgos vs. Cristobal Cruz (Friday 9pm from Tulsa, Oklahoma live on ESPN2); Tennis: ATP Tour Delray Beach International Tennis Championships (Saturday 2pm & 7pm, Sunday 1pm & 3pm from Delray Beach, FL live on Tennis Channel), Abierto Mexicano Telcel (Wednesday 4pm & 8pm, Thursday 2pm & 8pm, Friday 6pm & 10pm, Saturday 10am from Acapulco, Mexico live on ESPN3.com), Dubai Duty Free Tennis Championships (Monday-Friday 5am & 10am, Saturday 10am from Dubai, United Arab Emirates live on ESPN3.com)

10. Bon Jovi (Sunday 7:30pm Verizon Center), Lady Gaga (Thursday 8pm Verizon Center); Pat Green (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live, Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club); Robert Cray Band (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); David Gray (Tuesday 7:30pm Strathmore); Charlie Murphy (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Pat McGee Band (Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); Ryan Cabrera (Monday 8pm Jammin’ Java); G. Love “Fixin To Die” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

I saw Bon Jovi a few years ago at Jobing.com Arena in Glendale, Arizona. I was disappointed. He played country pop songs. I didn’t pay to see that. I actually didn’t pay at all. But if I had, THIS is what I would have wanted to see…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40UQDEtRxp8[/youtube]

I like Pat McGee AND Pat Green. I also like Pat Sajak, but I don’t like Pat Boone necessarily.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzTL2woRzrI[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJWnIFlYKjs[/youtube]

Even our buddy Rob Fahey (of Ravyns fame) says he’s most impressed by David Gray of current musicians. That’s high praise…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMxfKuft8x4[/youtube]

And even without the “Special Sauce”, I’d recommend picking up the new G. Love…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCPH3dPQkIc[/youtube]

9. NBA: Indiana Pacers @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Philadelphia 76ers (Wednesday 7pm from Philadelphia live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Miami Heat (Friday 7:30pm from Miami live on Comcast SportsNet), Dallas Mavericks @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 8pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Chicago Bulls @ Washington Wizards (Monday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

It used to be that when the Chicago Bulls would come to play the ‘Zards (or the Bullets, really), the games would actually mean something.

Now…they’re just the next team on the schedule…that will probably beat the Wizards.

That being said, they still have SOMETHING going for them…in fact, the best player in the history of NBA Jam…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkM0BE-Iu6M[/youtube]

Benny the Bull was better than Michael Jordan.

Probably a better golfer, too.

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Subway Fresh Fit 500 (Sunday 3pm from Phoenix live on FOX)

With the fellas on the Sprint Cup Series headed into Arizona, I’d take a second to remind everyone that Daytona 500 winner Trevor Bayne and company will have a few of their own “distractions” to deal with…

asu
asu
asu

I’ve had the water out there. There IS something in it.

7. Golf: WGC Accenture Match Play Championship (Wednesday 12pm, Thursday & Friday 2pm, Saturday 12pm, Sunday 9am live on Golf Channel; Saturday & Sunday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Marana, AZ); PGA Tour Mayakoba Golf Classic at Riviera Maya-Cancun (Thursday-Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Playa del Carmen, Mexico live on Golf Channel); LPGA Tour HSBC Women’s Champions (Thursday & Friday 11am, Saturday 10am, Sunday 2pm from Singapore live on Golf Channel)

This will be the only week all year that I give half a crap about Golf. Why? Because I get to fill out brackets! You could put together a Pokemon card tournament-if it had brackets, I’d fill them out.

I mean, I’m not going to WATCH the thing…holy hell does that sound terrible. But I’ll check at the end of the day to see how my brackets hold up. And I’ll of course pick  Chi Chi Rodriguez to win. He’s going to have to break through one of these weeks.

6. NHL: New York Rangers @ Washington Capitals (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS & NHL Network), Washington Capitals @ New York Islanders (Saturday 7pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet)

Meanwhile, Glenn Clark will be making the trip up I-95 to Philly to see the Philadelphia Flyers become JUST ANOTHER VICTIM for the Phoenix FREAKING Coyotes, who enter the game winners of seven in a row!

It’s just a shame the game isn’t in Arizona, cause I’d love to hear the Black Keys pump through the Wells Fargo Center…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfYLr3IIVkQ[/youtube]

5. Monster Jam (Friday-Sunday 1st Mariner Arena)

Monster Jam is one of those events that comes around all the time that I have no REAL idea what it is and if it’s sorta white trash but really cool or REALLY white trash and only sorta cool.

Either way, I THINK Grave Digger is pretty cool….right???

gravedigger

4. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 127-BJ Penn vs. Jon Fitch (Saturday 10pm from Sydney, AUS on Pay-Per-View)

After the last card (Anderson Silva vs. Vitor Belfort) and the next card (Jon “Bones” Jones vs. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua), I will admit that I’m not really all that upset that I’ll be missing this card while I’m in Indy.

But if I was a MMA writer/reporter headed Down Under, I know damn well I’d take a minute to seek out whoever Bliss N Eso are. Their Citizen Cope cover is pretty legit…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCIfpZp7YcA[/youtube]

3. College Lacrosse: Loyola @ Towson (Saturday 12pm from Unitas Stadium live on ABC2/ESPN3.com/AM1570 WNST); Rutgers @ UMBC (Saturday 1pm UMBC Stadium); Siena @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 1pm from Homewood Field live on ESPNU); Georgetown @ Maryland (Saturday 3pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU); Mary Washington @ Stevenson (Wednesday 3pm Caves Athletic Complex), Kean @ Stevenson (Saturday 1pm Caves Athletic Complex)

I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I see “Georgetown” and “Maryland” next to each other, I can really only think about Keith Booth and Joe Smith. Hoyas fans probably won’t be happy for the reminder…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-WoPhVNffA[/youtube]

I guess I have one other memory. It involves Lonny Baxter and the NCAA Tournament if I remember correctly…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nda5RartfAw[/youtube]

2. College Basketball: Florida State @ Maryland (Wednesday 9pm from Comcast Center live on ACC Network-WNUV 54 locally), Maryland @ North Carolina (Sunday 7:45pm from Chapel Hill, NC live on Comcast SportsNet-Fox Sports Net nationally); Delaware State @ Morgan State (Wednesday 7pm Hill Field House), Morgan State @ North Carolina A&T (Monday 7pm from Greensboro, NC live on ESPNU); Drexel @ Towson (Saturday 4pm Towson Center)

I hope the Terps beat the snot out of the Seminoles Wednesday night. But I will admit that FSU will always have at least a small place in my (and Brett Favre’s) heart(s)…

sterger

Jenn Sterger wore a cowboy hat to a football game in Tallahassee five years ago and became a household name.

What a great country we live in.

1. College Football: NFL Scouting Combine (Thursday-Monday from Indianapolis live on NFL Network)

5.2 million people watched the Scouting Combine from LucasOil Stadium last year.

Of those 5.2 million, not a single one tuned in to see how Rich Eisen did in the 40 yard dash. But he did it anyway, and almost beat Ravens DT Terrence Cody!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar5nlv6ZPX0[/youtube]

That might seem surprising, but consider this…if hundreds of college-aged GIRLS were to descend upon a football stadium and run around in the underwear, how many MORE people would be watching?

You know, especially if one of them was SI swimsuit model Kate Upton…

upton

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 14 February 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Northern Trust Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Pacific Palisades, CA), Champions Tour ACE Group Classic (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Naples, FL live on Golf Channel), Honda LPGA Thailand (Friday 12:30pm, Saturday & Sunday 3pm from Chonburi, Thailand live on Golf Channel); High School Basketball: Parkville @ Perry Hall (Wednesday 6:30pm); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Fernando Guerrero vs. Saul Roman (Friday 7pm from Wicomico Civic Center live on ESPN2), Fernando Montiel vs. Nonito Donaire (Friday 9:45pm from Las Vegas live on HBO); Tennis: ATP Tour Regions Morgan Keegan Championships (Saturday 11am, Sunday 3pm from Memphis live on Tennis Channel)

10. Salt-N-Pepa/Naughty By Nature/MC Lyte/Kool Moe Dee/Kurtis Blow (Saturday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena); Plain White T’s/Parachute (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live); Taproot (Saturday 6:30pm Bourbon Street); Vusi Mahlasela (Monday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Slightly Stoopid (Wednesday & Thursday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Drive-By Truckers (Friday & Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club), Los Lobos (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Pablo Francisco (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); John Mellencamp (Tuesday 7pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Avett Brothers (Friday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Herb Alpert (Wednesday 7:30pm Birchmere), Bacon Brothers (Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere); Big Head Todd & The Monsters (Thursday 8pm Strathmore); Buddy Jewell (Thursday 7pm Severna Park High School)

You’re not going to catch me saying a negative word about Salt, Pepa or Spindarella. They’re strong.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZg_Jehko7c[/youtube]

A few weeks ago, I woke up to a video of Dave Matthews Band and Vusi Mahlasela playing “Everyday” in my Hotmail Inbox. I had never heard of Vusi Mahlasela. I immediately wanted to hear more…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4JhCTbmBQ4[/youtube]

John Mellencamp rules. Not much else I can say about that…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsEwK69LXjQ[/youtube]

I haven’t had a chance to listen much to the Avett Brothers. That’s my mistake…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1XMHGVOXZ8[/youtube]

9. Soccer: MISL-Omaha Vipers @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena), Milwaukee Wave @ Baltimore Blast (Sunday 5:05pm 1st Mariner Arena)

It’s been a long time since I’ve included soccer on the list. So I had to reference Yahoo! Sports’ Dirty Tackle blog to find out what I had missed.

Apparently Wesley Sneijder scored a nifty goal for the Netherlands in a friendly against Austria…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Wyfxk54v3w[/youtube]

And some dude had his pants fall down while trying to take a picture with Lionel Messi…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zs2uLsN6Pno[/youtube]

8. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Challengers (Friday 11pm from Cedar Park, TX live on Showtime)

I got to see Strikeforce live for the first time this past Saturday night in New Jersey. With any luck, the smell will come out by  St. Patrick’s Day.

The bad news for Strikeforce is that Fedor Emelianenko-the only fighter Strikeforce had that non-MMA hardcores gave a rip about-was eliminated from their World Heavyweight Grand Prix Tournament.

The good news for Strikeforce is that on Saturday night they also officially announced the return of Gina Carano. I’d like to tell you that I think she’s a good fighter. The reality is that no one knows and even fewer care…

gina

For the record, I tried posting the “Gina Carano is back” video Strikeforce showed on Showtime Saturday night; but it wasn’t up on YouTube yet. It’s a lovely video. Trust me.

7. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Anaheim Ducks (Wednesday 10pm from Anaheim live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ San Jose Sharks (Thursday 10:30pm from San Jose live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ Buffalo Sabres (Sunday 12:30pm from Buffalo live on NBC), Washington Capitals @ Pittsburgh Penguins (Monday 7:30pm from Pittsburgh live on VERSUS)

I know that without Monday Night Football there might be a few more folks interested in checking out the Caps face the Pens in a Winter Classic rematch. I won’t be one of them. I hate the Redskins, I hate the Steelers. So I just don’t care for the hockey teams in those cities either.

BUT…if Penguins goalie Brent Johnson gets in another fight like the one he got into against the New York Islanders the other night…I’d be ALL IN…at least to watch the highlights on SportsCenter or something.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4FrNDkAYVY[/youtube]

6. Women’s College Basketball: Duke @ Maryland (Thursday 7:30pm Comcast Center), Maryland @ Florida State (Sunday 3pm from Tallahassee, FL live on ESPN2)

Can SOMEONE please manage to figure out a way to beat Duke?!? PLEASE?!?!?

I’ll be in College Park Thursday night to check out the Terrapins women as they do the Lord’s work against the Blue Devils.

Hopefully the spirit of Kristi Toliver will be alive as the Terps battle the Devils…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-iTj7K6tew[/youtube]

5. Pro Wrestling: WWE Elimination Chamber (Sunday 8pm from Oakland live on Pay-Per-View)

Yep, the Elimination Chamber is crazy. But I could show you a video of that or I could show you a picture of WWE Diva Kelly Kelly. I mean, what are we really doing here anyway???

kellykelly

4. College Lacrosse: Navy @ Loyola (Saturday 2pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST); Johns Hopkins @ Towson (Saturday 12pm from Unitas Stadium live on ABC2 & ESPN3.com); Detroit @ Maryland (Saturday 1pm Byrd Stadium)

And with this, Lacrosse is now REALLY back in Charm City. Sadly, it will only kill a handful of Saturdays during MLB season for me, and there won’t be NEARLY enough weeknight games to avoid baseball altogether-but at least there’s an entertaining outdoor sport to watch.

This is also very awkward because I try to support all of the local teams, but they face off more in lacrosse than they do in any other sport.

So for this week I say “Let’s Go BlueTigerTerpHoundsmen!!!”

3. College Basketball: Maryland @ Virginia Tech (Tuesday 8pm from Blacksburg, VA live on ACC Network-WNUV 54 in Charm City), North Carolina State @ Maryland (Sunday 5:30pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet); James Madison @ Towson (Tuesday 7pm Towson Center); UMES @ Morgan State (Monday 9pm from Hill Field House live on ESPNU); Rider @ Loyola (Wednesday 7pm Reitz Arena); Hartford @ UMBC (Saturday 7pm RAC Arena); UMES @ Coppin State (Saturday 4pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex), Delaware State @ Coppin State (Monday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); ESPNU Bracketbusters: VMI @ Morgan State (Saturday 4pm Hill Field House), Loyola @ Towson (Saturday 7pm Towson Center)

Things I feel better about than Maryland’s chances of making the NCAA Tournament:

-The American economy
-The Orioles getting Prince Fielder in the offseason
-Katy Perry finally saying “yes” to one of my date requests
-Seeing a new Chris Farley movie one of these days
-Steve Melewski buying me a beer when Drew Forrester and I do our show in Sarasota
-Duke football getting bowl eligible

I think you know where I’m going here.

But if they figure out a way to beat the Hokies Tuesday night…

2. NBA: All-Star Game (Sunday 8pm from Los Angeles live on TNT), All-Star Saturday Night (Saturday 8pm from Los Angeles live on TNT), T-Mobile Rookie Challenge (Friday 9pm from Los Angeles live on TNT); Washington Wizards @ Orlando Magic (Wednesday 7pm from Orlando live on Comcast SportsNet)

Nine out of ten NBA games are awful as it is, yet somehow the ASG finds a way to be even more awful than that.

I guess the dunk contest has occasionally been watchable…and is certainly the only reason any of us are familiar with names like Harold Miner or Gerald Green. And by “any of us” I mean “I went to Wikipedia and looked up to see who all won dunk contests in the past.”

Seriously, why the hell don’t they just put down trampolines and do the whole contest Slamball-style?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOKzUWguWik[/youtube]

1. Auto Racing: NASCAR-Gatorade Duels (Thursday 2pm from Daytona, FL live on SPEED), Daytona 500 (Sunday 1pm from Daytona, FL live on FOX)

I wish I cared about NASCAR this week. I know this is a big deal to a handful of folks…I just don’t care. At all.

I’ve tried watching races. I’ve tried going to races. I’ve tried hosting a NASCAR radio show with Donnie Neuenberger (seriously). I’ve tried starting at pictures of Danica Patrick.

None of it worked. I just don’t care. It’s cars racing.

It doesn’t mean any of these aren’t funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwnO_CMY41k[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

(Week of Tuesday, February 15-Monday February 21)

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 14 February 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Northern Trust Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Pacific Palisades, CA), Champions Tour ACE Group Classic (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Naples, FL live on Golf Channel), Honda LPGA Thailand (Friday 12:30pm, Saturday & Sunday 3pm from Chonburi, Thailand live on Golf Channel); High School Basketball: Parkville @ Perry Hall (Wednesday 6:30pm); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Fernando Guerrero vs. Saul Roman (Friday 7pm from Wicomico Civic Center live on ESPN2), Fernando Montiel vs. Nonito Donaire (Friday 9:45pm from Las Vegas live on HBO)

10. Salt-N-Pepa/Naughty By Nature/MC Lyte/Kool Moe Dee/Kurtis Blow (Saturday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena); Plain White T’s/Parachute (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live); Taproot (Saturday 6:30pm Bourbon Street); Vusi Mahlasela (Monday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Slightly Stoopid (Wednesday & Thursday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Drive-By Truckers (Friday & Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club), Los Lobos (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Pablo Francisco (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); John Mellencamp (Tuesday 7pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Avett Brothers (Friday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Herb Alpert (Wednesday 7:30pm Birchmere), Bacon Brothers (Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere); Big Head Todd & The Monsters (Thursday 8pm Strathmore); Buddy Jewell (Thursday 7pm Severna Park High School)

You’re not going to catch me saying a negative word about Salt, Pepa or Spindarella. They’re strong.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZg_Jehko7c[/youtube]

A few weeks ago, I woke up to a video of Dave Matthews Band and Vusi Mahlasela playing “Everyday” in my Hotmail Inbox. I had never heard of Vusi Mahlasela. I immediately wanted to hear more…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4JhCTbmBQ4[/youtube]

John Mellencamp rules. Not much else I can say about that…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsEwK69LXjQ[/youtube]

I haven’t had a chance to listen much to the Avett Brothers. That’s my mistake…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1XMHGVOXZ8[/youtube]

9. Soccer: MISL-Omaha Vipers @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena), Milwaukee Wave @ Baltimore Blast (Sunday 5:05pm 1st Mariner Arena)

It’s been a long time since I’ve included soccer on the list. So I had to reference Yahoo! Sports’ Dirty Tackle blog to find out what I had missed.

Apparently Wesley Sneijder scored a nifty goal for the Netherlands in a friendly against Austria…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Wyfxk54v3w[/youtube]

And some dude had his pants fall down while trying to take a picture with Lionel Messi…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zs2uLsN6Pno[/youtube]

8. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Challengers (Friday 11pm from Cedar Park, TX live on Showtime)

I got to see Strikeforce live for the first time this past Saturday night in New Jersey. With any luck, the smell will come out by  St. Patrick’s Day.

The bad news for Strikeforce is that Fedor Emelianenko-the only fighter Strikeforce had that non-MMA hardcores gave a rip about-was eliminated from their World Heavyweight Grand Prix Tournament.

The good news for Strikeforce is that on Saturday night they also officially announced the return of Gina Carano. I’d like to tell you that I think she’s a good fighter. The reality is that no one knows and even fewer care…

gina

For the record, I tried posting the “Gina Carano is back” video Strikeforce showed on Showtime Saturday night; but it wasn’t up on YouTube yet. It’s a lovely video. Trust me.

7. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Anaheim Ducks (Wednesday 10pm from Anaheim live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ San Jose Sharks (Thursday 10:30pm from San Jose live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ Buffalo Sabres (Sunday 12:30pm from Buffalo live on NBC), Washington Capitals @ Pittsburgh Penguins (Monday 7:30pm from Pittsburgh live on VERSUS)

I know that without Monday Night Football there might be a few more folks interested in checking out the Caps face the Pens in a Winter Classic rematch. I won’t be one of them. I hate the Redskins, I hate the Steelers. So I just don’t care for the hockey teams in those cities either.

BUT…if Penguins goalie Brent Johnson gets in another fight like the one he got into against the New York Islanders the other night…I’d be ALL IN…at least to watch the highlights on SportsCenter or something.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4FrNDkAYVY[/youtube]

6. Women’s College Basketball: Duke @ Maryland (Thursday 7:30pm Comcast Center), Maryland @ Florida State (Sunday 3pm from Tallahassee, FL live on ESPN2)

Can SOMEONE please manage to figure out a way to beat Duke?!? PLEASE?!?!?

I’ll be in College Park Thursday night to check out the Terrapins women as they do the Lord’s work against the Blue Devils.

Hopefully the spirit of Kristi Toliver will be alive as the Terps battle the Devils…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-iTj7K6tew[/youtube]

5. Pro Wrestling: WWE Elimination Chamber (Sunday 8pm from Oakland live on Pay-Per-View)

Yep, the Elimination Chamber is crazy. But I could show you a video of that or I could show you a picture of WWE Diva Kelly Kelly. I mean, what are we really doing here anyway???

kellykelly

4. College Lacrosse: Navy @ Loyola (Saturday 2pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST); Johns Hopkins @ Towson (Saturday 12pm from Unitas Stadium live on ABC2 & ESPN3.com); Detroit @ Maryland (Saturday 1pm Byrd Stadium)

And with this, Lacrosse is now REALLY back in Charm City. Sadly, it will only kill a handful of Saturdays during MLB season for me, and there won’t be NEARLY enough weeknight games to avoid baseball altogether-but at least there’s an entertaining outdoor sport to watch.

This is also very awkward because I try to support all of the local teams, but they face off more in lacrosse than they do in any other sport.

So for this week I say “Let’s Go BlueTigerTerpHoundsmen!!!”

3. College Basketball: Maryland @ Virginia Tech (Tuesday 8pm from Blacksburg, VA live on ACC Network-WNUV 54 in Charm City), North Carolina State @ Maryland (Sunday 5:30pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet); James Madison @ Towson (Tuesday 7pm Towson Center); UMES @ Morgan State (Monday 9pm from Hill Field House live on ESPNU); Rider @ Loyola (Wednesday 7pm Reitz Arena); Hartford @ UMBC (Saturday 7pm RAC Arena); UMES @ Coppin State (Saturday 4pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex), Delaware State @ Coppin State (Monday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); ESPNU Bracketbusters: VMI @ Morgan State (Saturday 4pm Hill Field House), Loyola @ Towson (Saturday 7pm Towson Center)

Things I feel better about than Maryland’s chances of making the NCAA Tournament:

-The American economy
-The Orioles getting Prince Fielder in the offseason
-Katy Perry finally saying “yes” to one of my date requests
-Seeing a new Chris Farley movie one of these days
-Steve Melewski buying me a beer when Drew Forrester and I do our show in Sarasota
-Duke football getting bowl eligible

I think you know where I’m going here.

But if they figure out a way to beat the Hokies Tuesday night…

2. NBA: All-Star Game (Sunday 8pm from Los Angeles live on TNT), All-Star Saturday Night (Saturday 8pm from Los Angeles live on TNT), T-Mobile Rookie Challenge (Friday 9pm from Los Angeles live on TNT); Washington Wizards @ Orlando Magic (Wednesday 7pm from Orlando live on Comcast SportsNet)

Nine out of ten NBA games are awful as it is, yet somehow the ASG finds a way to be even more awful than that.

I guess the dunk contest has occasionally been watchable…and is certainly the only reason any of us are familiar with names like Harold Miner or Gerald Green. And by “any of us” I mean “I went to Wikipedia and looked up to see who all won dunk contests in the past.”

Seriously, why the hell don’t they just put down trampolines and do the whole contest Slamball-style?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOKzUWguWik[/youtube]

1. Auto Racing: NASCAR-Gatorade Duels (Thursday 2pm from Daytona, FL live on SPEED), Daytona 500 (Sunday 1pm from Daytona, FL live on FOX)

I wish I cared about NASCAR this week. I know this is a big deal to a handful of folks…I just don’t care. At all.

I’ve tried watching races. I’ve tried going to races. I’ve tried hosting a NASCAR radio show with Donnie Neuenberger (seriously). I’ve tried starting at pictures of Danica Patrick.

None of it worked. I just don’t care. It’s cars racing.

It doesn’t mean any of these aren’t funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwnO_CMY41k[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

(Week of Tuesday, February 15-Monday February 21)

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