Tag Archive | "canton"


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Wednesday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 19 May 2010 by Glenn Clark

Happy Wednesday!

It’s a Happy Wednesday for me because I just got my copy of Justin Halpern’s book “Sh*t My Dad Says.” If you’re now familiar with his Twitter account, it’s absolutely BRILLIANT. The dude is 29 and lives with his 74 year old father, and his 74 year old father may be the greatest human being on the face of the planet…

-“A parent’s only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed.”
“I lost 20 pounds…How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the f*ck you think, son? I exercised.”
“I didn’t say you were ugly. I said your girlfriend is better looking than you, and standing next to her, you look ugly.”
“Do people your age know how to comb their hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their heads and started f*cking.”
“I’m not sure you can call that roughing it, son… Well, for one, there was a f*cking minivan parked forty feet from your sleeping bags.”

I’m crying. Apparently the Twitter account/book are going to become a CBS sitcom starring William Shattner. Could anything…in the world…ever be better?

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP’s David Ginsburg says Orioles touched up Royals bullpen after Greinke departed for 10 inning win

No, the Orioles did not “beat” Zack Greinke, despite what someone over at 105.7 (cough Jen Royle cough) said. They did however win a game started by Zack Greinke, which is ALMOST just as good.

(Edit from GMC: Some might say I’m obsessed with her. They’re right. It’s similar to how many of us are obsessed with “Snooki” from Jersey Shore. It’s just such a disaster that how can you possibly turn away? The reality is that as much as I say I want Jen Royle to do her job better, I probably REALLY don’t want her to.)

Those “I want to be Luke Scott’s bat” on MASN look really good this week. Of course, Everything related to Luke Scott usually looks really good for a week-or maybe even a month. Usually not for too much longer than that though.

Is it too late to get Corey Patterson on the ballot for the All-Star Game?

2. The AP/WNST.net offer numerical evidence of win

9,715 packed their way into Oriole Park at Camden Yards last night. I guess it was really 3,000 who packed their way in, but there were 9,715 tickets sold.

But our “Apologist of the Morning” as selected by “The Great Arbitrator” Drew Forrester is still going. Here’s his take…

“For my part, I’ll say again that the best response to the losing is to continue to support the team. Go to a few games and cheer loudly (or, as is my wont, get a Lucas Clap going). Proudly (defiantly?) rock the black-and-orange. Take what joy you can from this mess and discard the rest.

It’s not that hard. Despite the conditions last night I still enjoyed myself. All it takes to do that is wanting to do that. Some do, some don’t, but it’s simple either way.

Whichever way you go, the baseball they play will improve. It just will.”

It just will.

The question is, will it be while we’re still alive?

Or should the question be: “Will it get better before the crowds get so small that the team is forced to move to Nashville?”

3. WNST.net’s Luke Jones says Kevin Millwood still hasn’t picked up first victory of season despite Birds win

A quality outing from Kevin Millwood last night, but he once again had an inning that was particularly troubling.

I have an idea.

The next time Kevin Millwood pitches at OPACY, the guys in the production department should just go ahead and take down the inning number when the game gets to the 5th inning. They don’t need to put up a “6” or anything like that, they just need to take down any electronic references to what inning it is. Pretend the 5th inning just doesn’t happen at all.

It might not work, and it might be laughed at over at sites like Deadspin-but Christ, they’re 13-27! Why not???

4. MLB.com’s Brittany Ghiroli and Pete Kerzel say Adam Jones’ dealings with ‘frustration’ lead to his helmet toss Monday night

If Adam Jones is so frustrated that he’s throwing his helmet, what’s the appropriate response from those of us who have been forced to watch him play this year?

Maybe something similar to this???


5. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Brandon Erbe, Brandon Snyder had rough night, Michael Aubrey had big night for O’s on farm

Before we move on from our beloved Baltimore Orioles; a few things.

-The Orioles finished their 8 game homestand with the Mariners, Indians and Royals at 4-4. I think anyone who tried to dismiss the early season struggles of the Orioles as being nothing more than a “tough schedule” might have learned something over the last 8 days.

-The Orioles return to action tonight in Arlington, Texas at the appropriately named Ballpark in Arlington against the Texas Rangers. First pitch on MASN2 is at 8:05pm, Jeremy Guthrie faces Rich Harden. The Rangers are in 1st place in the AL West and haven’t struggled-AT ALL-to score runs. The Birds of course have. Hopefully those trends will change.

6. WNST.net’s Glenn Clark says Jared Gaither (foot), Troy Smith (tonsilitis) amongst those absent from Ravens Passing Camp in Owings Mills

I wouldn’t read anything in to the timing of Troy Smith having his tonsils taken out now as some of you have. This is really the least important of the offseason work the Ravens are doing, so if this WAS something that had timing flexibility, this is a good time for him to have done it. Harbaugh said that the tonsilitis may have stemmed from his bout with the black plague or whatever it was back in 2008.

And Gaither is clearly dealing with SOMETHING with his foot, and while he almost certainly could be practicing (and would be playing), I don’t think it’s the end of the world that he isn’t on the field. I know they’d rather have him out there (Oniel Cousins was COMPLETELY beat a couple of times yesterday), but not the end of the world.

As far as the veterans that missed Camp are concerned; Ray Lewis and Derrick Mason can do whatever they want. Trevor Pryce is probably in that group as well. I would imagine John Harbaugh is pretty disappointed that Terrell Suggs isn’t there, but when you make as much money as Ol’ “T-Sizzle” does, you get your own rules. And Willis McGahee can only be hurting himself every time he doesn’t show up.

7. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Lardarius Webb ‘significantly ahead of schedule’ according to John Harbaugh

I’m not a doctor, so don’t take anything I say too seriously; but the work Lardarius Webb was doing yesterday at 1 Winning Drive (in fairness-it was only running); made it look like he really MIGHT be ready to go before the end of Training Camp; and might have a shot to be on the field in East Rutherford on Monday Night Football against the New York Jets.

Before moving on from the Ravens-head on over to the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net to hear from John Harbaugh, Joe Flacco, Billy Cundiff and Sergio Kindle yesterday at Passing Camp.

While you’re there, new Ravens CB Travis Fisher joined “The Morning Reaction” today on AM1570 WNST-make sure you check him out as well. Other guests this morning you can hear from include Maryland football Coach Ralph Friedgen (who will be at Field House in Canton tonight with Debbie Yow, Keith Booth and Brenda Frese for “Terps on Tour”), Bowie Baysox pitcher Steve Johnson, Washington Capitals GM George McPhee and Orlando Magic Executive VP Pat Williams. Check it all out!

8. GoMustangSports.com previews today’s DIII NCAA Tournament quarterfinal between Stevenson and Roanoke

I once dated a gal who went to Roanoke. The celebrity she most resembled was Adriana Lima (Thanks Busted Coverage!)…


I’m kidding of course, but she was a lovely gal. I think I got a parking ticket at Roanoke once, on a weekend trip where we ended up going to see John Mayer and Maroon 5 in Virginia Beach. I remember the show was on a Sunday and I was despondent because I had remembered there being a Chick-Fil-A on the way in to the venue, but forgot that it would be closed on Sunday.

Now you know the story of my life. Was there something about a lacrosse game?

(Edit from GMC: I’m kidding. I’ll be out at Caves Athletic Complex this afternoon at 4pm, come by and say hello. Let’s go Stangs!)

9. Inside Lacrosse’s Geoff Shannon says Boys Latin, St. Paul’s win MIAA ‘A’ Conference semis, will rematch for title at Unitas Stadium Saturday

I don’t know too much about the MIAA. As a proud Perry Hall High School alum, MIAA gals usually weren’t allowed to hand around guys like me. Humorously, “The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet” is actually a NDP alum.

When I found out she had graduated from Notre Dame Prep, I immediately had the wheels turning. “Catholic School Girl? This has potential.”

However, it did not. The NDP uniform looks like this…


I of course was hoping for this…


Why doesn’t it ever look like that?

10. Daily Racing Form’s Glenye Cain Oakford says 1986 Preakness winner Snow Chief dead at 27

This subject is a little sensitive for me. Not because there’s a dead horse, but because it involves the word snow. After this winter, the word “snow” alone makes me tremble…

And finally, I leave you with this.

Everybody is making a big deal about NBA official Joe DeRosa throwing the ball at a fan at the Orlando Magic-Boston Celtics game last night. It doesn’t look that bad to me…

You know what’s a big deal to me? The pictures of Blake Lively that Guyism found…


Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…


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Bachman Overdrive: Baltimore Street fossil full of memories

Posted on 11 March 2010 by raybachman

Back in 1962, the Baltimore Civic Center opened for business. Today, that same building is called the 1st Mariner Arena. Arenas around the country have come and gone, but here in Baltimore, the fossil on Baltimore Street still stands.

A few weeks ago on the Rex & Ray Show, Rex Snider and I got on the topic of a new downtown arena. Through the years, the people of Baltimore talked about the need for a new arena. I will not disagree with that. However, I would like to mention a few selfish reasons why Baltimore doesn’t necessarily need an expensive state-of-the-art building.

For old time’s sake, I will even refer to it as the Civic Center. Sorry, it is kind of hard to call something by a different name after calling it something else for 20+ years.

The Concerts: The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, George Strait, Jay-Z, U2 and Miley Cyrus have all made the Civic Center a tour stop over the past few years. These acts are currently selling out arenas and stadiums all over the world. I understand that some of these acts added Baltimore onto the last leg of their tours, but they still stopped in Charm City.

By the way, Billboard magazine recently named the Civic Center (I mean, the 1st Mariner Arena), the top arena of its size in the United States.

The History: With all of the new arenas around the country, Baltimore is one of the only old buildings left standing. That can be a positive for sentimental reasons. The Beatles, Led Zeppelin and Elvis Presley played on that eyesore that we refer to as the permanent stage.

Springsteen was able to play a building that he played 35 years ago. Van Halen with David Lee Roth reunited on a stage that they last played on 25 years before. Motley Crue stood on the stage where they recorded “Jailhouse Rock Live” 22 years earlier.

Events of all types have taken place in those ancient walls, from a stirring 1966 speech by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., to basketball’s 1969 NBA All-Star Game, and even pro wrestling – including a NWA title change in 1990, when Sting beat “Nature Boy” Ric Flair.

I am a fan of pop culture and history, and the history made in the that building is pretty cool.

Easy Access: It only takes me five minutes to get there. It is centrally located in the heart of downtown. The light rail drops you off at the front door. I-95 puts you right there. There are plenty of parking lots surrounding the building. Plus, the Inner Harbor, Little Italy, Fells Point, Canton and Federal Hill are all a short walk or cab ride away. Dinner, nightclubs and things to do are right there for me before and after an event.

The Memories: I remember shaking Andre the Giant’s hand, going to the Jim Crockett Memorial Cup, seeing the Harlem Globetrotters, taking in a Skipjacks game on a Saturday night, watching Dominique Wilkins windmill dunk on a fast break against the Bullets, seeing my first concert, getting a chance to see Stan “The Man” Stamenkovic run circles around everyone for the Blast and taking my daughter to her first circus. I could go on and on.

Again, Baltimore could definitely use a new arena, but I don’t recall a single time when I sat in that building watching an event and saying to myself, “Man, this building sucks.” Regardless whether you think the same way I do or not, the Civic Center/1st Mariner Arena is uniquely Baltimore.

What is your opinion on a downtown arena? Keep the old building, or build a new one? Tell me what you think below in the comments section & listen to the “Rex & Ray Show” weekday afternoons from 2-6 pm.

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Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 28 January 2010 by Glenn Clark

Happy Thursday!

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because I stopped by Nacho Mama’s in Canton for a lunch meeting yesterday and had a meal that looked a lot like this person’s…..


Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. Ravens Official Site’s Will Spencer says Mardy Gilyard, Riley Cooper, Danario Alexander, Dexter McCluster amongst receivers Newsome, DeCosta watching at Senior Bowl

That’s right! It’s time for NFL Draft Wide Receiver porn!!!


Gilyard is the only one of this group that I have profiled so far, but I will make sure to point out that size has to be a major factor when it comes to upgrading the WR position this offseason. Of this group, Cooper is 6’3″, Alexander is 6’5″.

I’ll take both?

2. Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Ravens expected to interview Jim Zorn in next few days

I’ve heard a lot of pro-Jim Zorn sentiment over the last few days, and I think there’s good reason to be pro-Jim Zorn if you are a Ravens fan. As I’ve said before, if Joe Flacco turns out to be similar to Matt Hasselbeck, I’d be thrilled. Of course, I’d prefer that he turn out to be more like Troy Aikman, but that’s just me.

As another note, a few people have mentioned to me that they are concerned about Al Saunders’ lack of experience as a quarterbacks coach. I’m not sure I’d be particularly concerned about that myself. Sometimes a QB just needs a personal consultant as much as he needs a position coach. If the problems Joe was having were more mechanical, I’d probably be more adamant about the need for a coach with more true QB background, but I think either man is fully capable of doing the job.

As always, this is just an excuse to include a funny podium face from Jim Zorn. Thanks to Dan Steinberg from the DC Sports Bog for this one…


3. The Sun’s Kevin Cowherd says Terps ‘a lot of fun’ to watch right now

That’s a really good way to describe them. There have been no real holes (other than maybe free throw shooting to an extent) since ACC season began, although making one more shot down the stretch at Wake Forest would have been really nice.

But we have to try to keep this in perspective. This Terrapins bunch is probably NOT a NCAA Championship or Final Four contender, but I also don’t think they’re the same as the Terrapins teams we’ve seen over the last 3 seasons. I think this group-because of their balance-has staying power in a conference full of teams that DON’T really have staying power.

Duke is the best team in the conference. There’s no doubt about that. But Duke is also beatable, and if Maryland can at least split their games with the Blue Devils, it will set up well for them to make a run at a bye in the first round of the ACC Tournament.

4. The AP says VCU put together record performance in blowout win over Towson

If you missed Pat Kennedy’s reflection on last night’s game with Drew Forrester on “The Comcast Morning Show”, head over to the Audio Vault at WNST.net.

There’s not much more to be said about a 59 point loss. I have to try to use a level of rational thought, because Maryland lost a game by 41 points last season at Cameron Indoor Stadium. Sometimes, the final score in a blowout isn’t particularly important-as one team just was trying while the other one wasn’t. A 59 point loss may not mean that the Rams were 59 points better than the Tigers. It might just mean that they tried 30 points harder than Towson did down the stretch.

That being said, Maryland lost by 41 after they had already defeated Michigan State, and in a season where they would go on to beat North Carolina and Wake Forest en route to reaching the 2nd round of the NCAA Tournament. Obviously Pat Kennedy’s bunch isn’t going to any type of postseason tournament, but how much value can be placed on a 59 point loss has a lot to do with what follows.

If the Tigers bounce back from last night’s loss and show fight moving towards the CAA Tournament in Richmond, then you can’t put a lot of stock in the game. If they finish conference play with 2 or 3 wins, last night’s game was probably representative.

Towson returns to action Saturday night at UNC-Wilmington, the game can be seen on MASN.

5. UMBC Official Site says Chauncey Gilliam scored 18, but Retrievers fell at home to Binghamton

I thought maybe playing a Bearcats team that has been to hell and back since winning the America East title last season might give Randy Monroe’s squad a chance to fight for a victory, but obviously that wasn’t to be.

But hey, they didn’t lose by 59.

The Retrievers’ quest to avoid a winless conference season continues Saturday at Maine-who just so happens to find themselves in first place.

6. Loyola Official Site previews tonight’s MAAC contest with Fairfield at Reitz Arena

I guess the terrible struggles of Towson, UMBC and Coppin State locally have deflected some of the attention away from the Greyhounds’ current 3-7 conference record. I will admit that I thought Jimmy Patsos’ team would probably be a bit closer to .500.

The Hounds are coming off a big win over Marist, but the Red Foxes have just one conference win. The Stags come into tonight’s game with a 7-3 conference record, but Loyola should be able to win games at home against teams in this conference not named Siena. That really isn’t too much to ask.

7. The Diamondback’s Jonas Shaffer previews Maryland women’s visit to Virginia Tech tonight

Taking 3 straight losses with them to Blacksburg, it would be an understatement to say that Brenda Frese’s team is in real need of a victory. Certainly they didn’t look particularly bad in either of their home losses (Miami or Duke), but with a win at Virginia (that they almost managed to give away down the stretch) their only actual statement on the season, they just need to get wins.

8. Inside Lacrosse’s Sean Burns says Towson picked 4th in CAA and Navy picked 1st in Patriot League

Tony Seaman’s squad really showed some signs of life down the stretch last season, playing an instant classic against Johns Hopkins at Unitas Stadium and reaching the CAA Championship Game before being bounced by Villanova. But signs of life aren’t really enough for a program that has a distinct advantage when it comes to the capabilties to win.

While they are in a league with bigger schools (Penn State, Delaware, Hofstra and Villanova are all major players), they do have an advantage over all of those schools (with maybe the exception of Hofstra) when it comes to available talent and regional interest in the sport.

That being said, Tony Seaman has done a HELL of a job at Towson, and clearly deserves the benefit of the doubt to get them back to the top of the conference.

9. MLB.com’s Spencer Fordin says O’s designated Sarfate for assignment to make room for Tejada

I really wonder if Dennis Sarfate was misused during his time in Baltimore. I think maybe the experiments with him as a starter and as a closer really hurt his ability to settle in as a “_____ specialist” out of the bullpen.

There is no doubt that he had control issues, and giving up homeruns really hurt him. But he had a powerful arm, and it seems as though there may have been a role for a powerful arm.

Of course, when the rest of the pen and pitching staff in general are just as mis-cast, it is hard to get everyone in the right role.

10. The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Birds agree to terms on 1 year deal with Hendrickson

Mark Hendrickson really did a hell of a job out of the bullpen for this team last season. I think bringing him back for just over a million dollars to make sure you have a really solid lefty is basically a no-brainer. Now the question beyond that would be whether or not they keep Alberto Castillo to have two lefties in the pen.

11. WNST.net’s Thyrl Nelson says Orioles need to give Jeremy Guthrie contract

I’m not certain I agree.

I think it was a mistake for the Birds to cut Guthrie’s pay last season, but I’m not necessarily convinced that he’s done enough to really prove he’s more than a pitcher that just had a nice stretch a couple of seasons ago. I know he’s had a good ERA, but a pitcher has to learn to be a winner beyond a 17-17 stretch over two seasons.

The other issue to look at will be how a contract affects the Orioles’ potential ability to trade Guthrie if Brian Matusz and Chris Tillman (and even Jake Arrieta or David Hernandez or Brandon Erbe, etc) DO pan out. Paying too much in a contract could hamper that ability.

12. Examiner Jeff Hemelt says Crystal Palace USA announced many changes, including name change to Crystal Palace Baltimore

Clearly Crystal Palace is really trying to make a statement about jumping a level to the NASL and trying to be a competitive soccer product in a market without MLS competition. The biggest step would be to get a facility, which is the next project Palace is working on.

And finally, I leave you with this.

Katy Perry was the guest judge on American Idol last night. Blah blah blah Katy Perry is hot.


Talk to you later.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983….


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Top 25 Local Sports Figures of the Decade

Posted on 23 December 2009 by Glenn Clark

Others Considered: Todd Bozeman, Randy Monroe, Steve Bisciotti, Kimmie Meissner, Fang Mitchell, Dave Trembley, Katie Hoff, Brenda Frese, Kevin Plank, Jimmy Patsos, Lee Mazzilli, Sam Perlozzo, Todd Heap, Barbaro, Carmelo Anthony, Terrell Suggs, Joe DeFrancis, Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa, Mike Flanagan, Pam Shriver, Haloti Ngata, Derrick Mason, Scott McBrien, Matt Stover, Steve Blake, Melvin Mora, Steve McNair, Michael McCrary, Ray Rice, Erik Bedard, Sidney Ponson, John Rallo, Shawne Merriman, Pat Kennedy

25-Joe Flacco


24-Nick Markakis


23-Ed Hale


22-Kyle Boller


21-John Harbaugh


20-Trent Dilfer


19-Cal Ripken Jr.


18-Chris McAlister


17-Dave Pietramala


16-Brian Roberts


15-Paul Johnson


14-Ralph Friedgen


13-Art Modell


12-Hasim Rahman


11-Ed Reed


10-Jamal Lewis


The greatest offensive skill position in Ravens history-a former Rookie of the Year, NFL Player of the Year, 2,000 yard rusher, Super Bowl Champion, and single game rushing record holder. He’ll be in the Ring of Honor in the next 12 months too….

9-Juan Dixon


He’s from Baltimore. He carried Maryland to a NCAA Championship. He’s Top 3 in Glenn Clark’s book…..

8-Brian Billick


He won the Super Bowl as head coach of the Baltimore Ravens, but became a polarizing figure until his firing due to his inability to groom a franchise quarterback. I’m not sure I could have stomached hearing the words “offensive genius” again however….

7-Debbie Yow


Her place on this list is based on a mix of her accomplishments as Athletic Director (national championships in men’s and women’s basketball, new arena, and somehow managing to balance the budget in College Park) and how many people despise her due to her testy relationship with a fella who is still to come on this list……

6-Ozzie Newsome


Jamal Lewis. Todd Heap. Ed Reed. Terrell Suggs. Haloti Ngata. Ben Grubbs. Joe Flacco. Michael Oher.

Unfortunately, this decade also included Kyle Boller and Travis Taylor…..

5-Jonathan Ogden


He will soon be the first player to go to Canton AS a Baltimore Raven, and some would argue he’s the most important player in franchise history. Those people have a legitimate argument.

4-Michael Phelps


He’s won 14 gold medals in Olympic competition. No one else ever has. I’d explain more-but if you don’t get it, you never will.

3-Peter Angelos


Not since Bob Irsay has there been a local sports figure so universally disdained by the entire town. If this were pro wrestling, Sgt. Slaughter would have looked like a babyface during his Iraq support days in compared to the level of seething hate directed towards the city’s baseball dictator. He’s killed an entire sport in a city where baseball was king. His failures are so epic I’m not certain ANYONE could have accomplished anything similar.

2-Gary Williams


If it weren’t for the necessity of corporate sponsoring, it would be Gary Williams Arena-not Comcast Center. The guy will find himself in the Basketball Hall of Fame, and only Earl Weaver is ahead of him in the list of the greatest head coaches in local sports history. And while some might accuse me of blasphemy, he may be greater than even Earl.

1-Ray Lewis


When #52 does something, says something, thinks something, etc…..it is ABSOLUTELY more meaningful than when anyone else in town does. He will eventually have a statue at M&T Bank Stadium-somewhere in the neighborhood of Johnny Unitas I assume. Do I need to explain further?

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..


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Postcard from Green Bay & Lambeau Field

Posted on 07 December 2009 by Nestor Aparicio

It’s early morning here in Green Bay and the snow is beginning to fall. It’s 19 degrees here in the land of the frozen tundra and we’re expected to get 1-to-2 inches of fresh snow before the indoor tailgates begin this afternoon. And, no, they will not be closing schools here in Wisconsin today or freaking out on the local news.

The Ravens are in a pretty good position if they can find a way to win this football game tonight at Lambeau Field. The Steelers lost yesterday. The Jaguars won. There is still plenty of football left and for anyone who just pencils in “win” vs. Detroit, Chicago or Oakland, all you need to do is check the results every Sunday to realize there are no “easy” wins in the NFL. (Except if you’re playing Cleveland, that is, and thankfully we don’t have to see them again!)

I’ll be writing from the press box at Lambeau Field tonight. We’ll have the Purple Haze chat room open, we’ll be Tweeting, Facebooking and texting you all of the info as the game unfolds.

We hope you keep it tuned to WNST.net on the net tonight or join Eric Aaronson and his hearty crew at the Canton Entertainment Center (former Huckas) in Canton for the Coors Light Neighborhood Tour stop during the Ravens-Packers game.

I’ll also be getting some instant videos up from the two tailgates we’re throwing this afternoon here in Green Bay.

Enjoy the game!

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Does Matt Stover Deserve to Be Enshrined in Canton?

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Does Matt Stover Deserve to Be Enshrined in Canton?

Posted on 25 October 2009 by Chad Lamasa

originally written on August 28, 2008

The list of placekickers enshrined in the Football Hall of Fame is short—very short. It contains one name: Jan Stenerud.

Stenerud played 19 seasons in the NFL for the Chiefs, Packers, and Vikings. His career stats look like this: 1,699 points on 580 PATs and 373 FGs. He racked up 100-plus points in seven different seasons.

The 1,699 points put him, at the time of his retirement, second on the all-time list behind George Blanda. He kicked 17 field goals of 50-plus yards in his career.

Stenerud’s longest field goal was 55 yards. Probably the most astounding mark on his record is that he never had a field goal or extra point attempt blocked.

This short list could, and should, add another name five years after Matt Stover decides to hang up his cleats.

Stover, the last of the original Cleveland Browns, is entering his 19th season.

Currently fourth on the all-time scoring list with 1,822 points, he trails only Morten Andersen, Gary Anderson, and George Blanda, and is five spots ahead of Stenerud.

He is fewer than 200 points behind Blanda, so it’s conceivable he can be in the top-three of all-time once his career is finished.

Stover has made 435 field goals and 517 points after touchdowns. He has not missed an extra-point attempt since the 1992 season, when the Ravens were still the Browns.

His 83.8 field-goal percentage and 99.4 extra-point percentage rank among the best of all-time. Stover has made 13 field goals of 50-plus yards.

He has also only had eight field goals blocked in his 19-year career, with no more than two in any season.

He is closing in on 1,000 kickoffs, totaling almost 57,000 yards, with only 117 touchbacks and three returned for touchdowns. Stenerud never performed a kickoff in his career.

Matt Stover holds the record for most points scored with one franchise. He has won a Super Bowl, been a Pro Bowler, and has been a Pro-Bowl Alternate.

Morten Anderson has not yet been enshrined, so Stover may be the third placekicker to be in the Hall of Fame.

I don’t want to see him go anywhere for a while, but when he does, I hope it’s to Canton.

Note: I wrote this article for Bleacher Report before the 2008 season. With Matt now in Indy, I thought it would be nice to revisit the idea. All the stats above were accurate at the time I wrote the article.

Last season Stover went 27/33 for 81.8%. His longest FG  was 47 yards. He was also perfect on PAT attempts.

At the end of last season Stover was fifth on the All-Time scoring list, only 11 points Saints kicker John Carney.

He also performed 42 kickoffs averaging 62.5 yds and five touchbacks.

Stover ranks among the best in several categories.

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Monday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 21 September 2009 by Glenn Clark

Here’s my “Ravens Report Card” for Sunday’s win:

Quarterback: B

Joe was very good, but again had a few overthrows. He looked a little unsettled early on, but certainly got things together for another solid performance.

Running Back: B+

I was VERY impressed by Willis McGahee, and again saw glimpses of how dangerous Ray Rice can be when he gets the ball in space. There will be a game this season when the Ravens HAVE to let Ray Rice carry them to victory because nothing else is working. He’ll be ready to do it, too.

Wide Receiver/Tight End: B-

It was good to see the continued development of a trusting relationship between Joe Flacco and Kelley Washington, but where were Mark Clayton and Demetrius Williams?

Offensive Line: A-

I get the feeling not everyone was as impressed with the O-Line as I was. I know Michael Oher jumped at one point (which Dan Fouts explained had something to do with the officials) and Matt Birk and Joe Flacco fumbled an early exchange; but I thought Oher, Gaither, and ESPECIALLY Chris Chester were great throughout.

Defensive Line: B

This would be an A+ if they could have gotten better pressure on Phillip Rivers; because NO ONE is running on this group. Trevor Pryce especially needed to be better getting off the edge.

Linebackers: B+

Again, this group would be getting an A+ if they were getting pressure. Ray Lewis himself DOES get an A+.

Secondary: C

I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. With more pressure, this would be a better unit. They were put in bad spots yesterday.

Special Teams: B

Hauschka made his only field goal, Sam Koch was good too. But the Ravens gave up some big runs to Darren Sproles, and Chris Carr is still not getting much going in the return game.

Coaching: B-

Cam Cameron’s scheme was pretty good until late, when I didn’t think we saw enough Le’Ron McClain. Meanwhile, Greg Mattison is still searching for answers defensively.

Let’s see what everyone else has to say….

Best of Sunday’s WNST Blogs:

Drew Forrester says Norv Turner helped Ravens in win

Glenn Clark says Ravens move into Colts/Patriots/Steelers territory of AFC contenders with road win

Nestor Aparicio says Ravens proved themselves as ‘Super Bowl contenders’

Glenn Clark re-lives emotions of game as it was played

Bob Haynie enjoyed watching game with Ravens fans at Della Rose’s in Canton

Glenn Clark was confused by news that Terps had lost Saturday

Rex Snider thinks Ravens could use Chris McAlister


The Official Site’s Mike Duffy says Ray Lewis finished off win with tackle of Sproles in backfield

The Official Site’s Sarah Ellison says 52’s TFL best play of game, Cason’s pick of Flacco worst play of game

The Official Site’s Sarah Ellison says Flacco threw for 2 more TD’s in win

The Official Site’s Ryan Mink says McGahee rushed for 2 more TD’s in win

Chargers Official Site’s Casey Pearce says Rivers threw for career high 436 yards in loss

The Sun’s Jamison Hensley says 52 thought tackle ‘one of the greatest plays of (his) career’

The Sun’s Mike Preston gives highest praise to running backs

The Sun’s Mike Preston thinks Greg Mattison’s defense should consider going Cover 2, rushing QB more

The Sun’s Edward Lee says Ray Rice tallied 82 yards on day

The Sun’s Edward Lee says Dawan Landry thought he was ‘lucky’ to get first INT since ‘06

The Sun’s Mike Preston says Hauschka made first ‘pressure’ NFL kick Sunday

The Sun’s Mike Preston says Ray made other plays on Sunday that were just as good as final tackle

The Sun’s Edward Lee says Fabian Washington said (via Twitter) he thought he played ‘terrible’

The Sun’s Ken Murray says Antwan Barnes added INT in win

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Harbaugh thought 52’s tackle ‘greatest football play (he’s) ever’ seen

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Todd Heap added TD catch in win over Bolts

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson gives highest praise to O-Line, Running Backs, Linebackers

San Diego Union-Tribune’s Jay Posner says Chargers settled for Kaeding field goals in all 4 trips to red zone against Ravens

USA Today’s Sean Leahy says Ray Lewis’ hit ‘best’ of NFL Week 2

USA Today’s Jim Corbett says Ed Reed thought Ray Lewis Ravens’ ‘firestarter’

Yahoo! Sports’ Michael Silver says 66,882 at Qualcomm Stadium saw one of Ray Lewis’ finest moments

Yahoo! Sports’ Charles Robinson says McGahee’s ‘rebirth’ important part of Ravens’ success

SI’s Jay Clemons says McGahee could finish with 10-12 TD’s for Fantasy owners

SI’s Peter King says Cam Cameron thought Ray’s tackle ‘just amazing’

CBS Sports’ Clark Judge says Flacco definitely ‘franchise quarterback’

NBC Sports’ Gregg Rosenthal says Ravens have at least ‘maintained’ playoff level play from last season

NBC Sports’ Mike Florio wonders if Jerry Jones wishes he would have had Ray Lewis Sunday night

ESPN.com’s James Walker says Ravens only undefeated team left in AFC North

ESPN.com’s James Walker thinks Ravens will ‘open eyes’ after beating quality opponent on road


The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says Birds finished season just 2-16 against BoSox after being swept at OPACY

The Official Site provides numerical evidence of sweep

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says Chris Tillman takes hill tonight at Rogers Centre vs. David Purcey, Blue Jays

Red Sox Official Site’s Jeff Seidel says 27,546 saw Sox sweep O’s at Camden Yards

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Luke Scott homered for Birds in loss

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Markakis admits to being ‘in funk’

Carroll County Times’ Josh Land says Jason Berken beat up in loss

Carroll County Times’ Rich Dubroff says ‘few positives’ to be found in Jeremy Guthrie’s season

Boston Globe’s Adam Kilgore says Ellsbury added 2 run double in win


The Sun’s Jeff Barker says Rutgers will come to College Park Saturday 2-1 after win over Florida International

The Sun’s Jeff Barker says Friedgen ‘not bothered’ by Byrd Stadium boo birds

The Sun’s Jeff Barker says Don Brown’s defense giving up nearly 40 points per game thus far

Examiner Matthew Bouchard says James Franklin’s offense ‘looks predictable and unimaginative’

The Diamondback’s Adi Joseph says Ralph didn’t think players ‘into’ game against Blue Raiders

Washington Post’s Eric Prisbell says Friedgen admitted to being too ‘emotional’ following loss to MTSU

Washington Times’ Harrison Goodman says ’09 Terps Ralph’s worst team yet

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says loss to Raiders Maryland’s first home loss to non-BCS team since Ohio in ‘97

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Chris Turner would have kicked on 4th and 2 as well

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Terps lost on last second field goal for first time since NC State in ‘94

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Ralph admitted Terps have ‘outside chance’ of getting Bruce Campbell, Jamari McCullough back for game against Scarlet Knights

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says former Terp Josh Portis continuing success with California (PA)

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Davin Meggett had most touches for Terps in loss to Raiders

ESPN.com’s Heather Dinich drops Terps to 11th in ACC power rankings

ESPN.com’s Heather Dinich thinks Maryland, Virginia have major problems within programs

Terrapin Times’ Mike Ashley says Ralph thought any one of ’26 plays’ could have gone differently for Maryland to beat Middle Tennessee (must subscribe)


Examiner Matthew Schlissel says Tigers beat Chanticleers Saturday night thanks to success running, stopping run


Go Mids recognizes Alexander Teich, Ross Pospisil, Wyatt Middleton as top Mids from loss to Pitt


The Sun says Michael Phelps, Bob Bowman honored by USA Swimming


-The Orioles got swept again, huh? It’s a good thing Drew Forrester is taking me to Jay-Z, or he’d owe me a hundred Chinese lunches.

Talk to you tomorrow.


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Hey Baltimore: Where is the fight in you on this Art Modell issue?

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Hey Baltimore: Where is the fight in you on this Art Modell issue?

Posted on 12 August 2009 by Nestor Aparicio

I am a little embarrassed to be from Baltimore these days. And it has nothing to do with the 30,000 Red Sox fans who invaded the Inner Harbor two weeks ago.

Look, no one loves the city or the sports teams or the “culture” of Baltimore more than me and I dare you to find someone who has displayed more civic pride over the last 25 years in the sports circle here than me and/or WNST.net.

But, honestly, I don’t know what that’s worth these days.

Every Facebook user and tweeter I can find within earshot all share the same opinion: DAMN, I’m glad it’s football season!

Hear, hear…

Yet the man who brought the team here, Art Modell, continues to be coldly left out of the Hall of Fame and no one here seems to be interested in picking up the torch and taking the slight a little more “seriously” or “personally” as a civic cause.

As a community, we were the city that fought desperately and embarrassingly through the loss of the Colts and the frequent use of our metropolis and tax payers by the NFL machine as a $20 hooker for more than a dozen years. The sham of the Paul Tagliabue era still stings. I remember the “museum” comments. I remember the Sundays without a team. I remember the disgusting expansion process. I remember the Saints-Dolphins game on 33rd Street. I remember the Charlotte and Jacksonville coronation.

I remember the desperation and the loss of hope like it was last night.

What these writers and disgruntled Cleveland Browns fans with an axe to grind — one that really isn’t based in true damage — are essentially saying is this: “We should all be embarrassed that the Baltimore Ravens even exist!”

And I find that unacceptable and an issue worth “fighting” for. And Art Modell’s Hall of Fame candidacy – or what’s left of it because it’s pretty clear he’s been blackballed and if there were any doubts before the reaction to Rod Woodson’s words there are none after the local reaction in Canton Saturday night – should be a MAJOR, MAJOR civic cause here.

The guy who brought the team here in the September of his life because Cleveland never took care of him deserves better treatment from all of the PSL owners and the people here in Baltimore who think the Ravens are pretty cool and pretty special.

I wonder if we can find 50,000 people who are willing to fight for Modell. Or even 50…

Steve Bisciotti once said to me: “You’re a cause guy!”

Well, yes I am, and I’ve started a Facebook page for Art Modell’s Hall of Fame candidacy. Feel free to join it and spread the word…

Here’s the direct address: http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=art+modell&init=quick#/group.php?gid=60824460336&ref=search&sid=1740947610.1010947778..1

It’ll be interesting to see how many people think that Cleveland and the NFL machine spitting on Modell is essentially spitting on Baltimore.

These Browns Backers are people with very short memories for facts and very long memories for acrimony and anger and bile.

As I said to the Cleveland blogger who wrote a typically-negative “Art doesn’t belong in the Hall of Fame” piece after Woodson’s mention of Modell in his induction speech: the residual damage a decade later is ZERO! As a matter of fact, it’s been a GAIN not a loss.

It’s like being mad at your ex-wife after you’ve remarried and found a better life. They’ve gotten a better stadium, their name, their colors and their records. They got an ownership family with the Lerners that they allegedly were going to like more than the Modells. Other than a few 5-11 seasons 13 years ago, they’ve missed NOTHING and restored everything!

But again, we’re talking about Clevelanders. In general, my experience with their hospitality and intellect has been less than impressive.

And I’ve got a LOT of experience with Cleveland. I’ve been going to Cleveland for 25 years. I was in Cleveland Stadium on the 1986 day that John Elway drove 98 yards to send them home from the Super Bowl.

I’ve probably seen 75 sporting events in Cleveland over the years along with various concerts, events, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, the Flats – I’ve done it all.

And their fans stink!

The boo their team every single year that I’m there — win or lose. They hate virtually everything. And, let’s be honest, they haven’t won anything in my lifetime and their hometown hero, LeBron James, is about to drop all things Ohio like a habit and run to New York to try to win a championship elsewhere. (Imagine Cal Ripken pulling that in 1992?)

It’s kind of sad. It sucks to be a sports fan from Cleveland. Ask Drew Carey…

And the people in Cleveland have plenty to be angry about – including the crappy weather, economy and the current state of their football team – but to continue this petty grudge against Modell is almost silly and continues to further ingrain their shortcomings.

And for Tony Grossi or Peter King or anyone else in their camp to make a paper-thin argument that a man who owned the team for nearly 40 years and helped manage the league through prosperity that no other league in the history of the planet has ever seen is just downright small and petty. And to put Al Davis or Lamar Hunt or Ralph Wilson on a higher pedestal than Modell is a testament to the vindictive nature of this group of voters and their agenda.

The merger. The TV deals. Monday Night Football. A .600 winning percentage over the course of his ownership. Free agency. Revenue sharing. The salary cap. The rules. Modell voted in every meeting and was a leader in many areas, including moving his NFL team to the “AFL” after the merger and convincing the Colts and Steelers to come with him.

Oh, and there’s that little accomplishment that NEVER gets mentioned – the restoration and growth of Baltimore football in the shape of the Ravens, which this city is obsessed with 365 days a year. Oh, yeah, and the Super Bowl win as well…

Modell “rebirthed” the NFL in Baltimore and over the past 14 years I dare you find a more successful franchise at recruiting the community and feeding the fire with positive energy and great people in the organization from Ozzie Newsome straight on down.

Art Modell created Baltimore football as we know it.

Doesn’t that count for anything?

Well, it only does if we say it does.

Don’t expect anyone from Cleveland to lead the charge to get Modell into the Hall of Fame.

That has to come from Baltimore. That, quite frankly, has to come from you.

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Cleveland continues to show why manure is Brown

Posted on 11 August 2009 by Nestor Aparicio

(UPDATE: The blogger who inspired this piece and who said Rod Woodson entered the “Hall of Shame” for mentioning Art Modell in his induction speech was on Limited Access on Tuesday. The audio is in the audio vault.)

As I have opined many times, I believe the powers that be in the NFL and the Pro Football Hall of Fame want no part of Art Modell being rightfully enshrined in Canton, Ohio for one glaring reason: the proximity of the induction ceremonies to Cleveland.

As was witnessed on Saturday night when Rod Woodson had the audicity to utter the words “Art Modell” within an earshot of both the Hall and the Cuyahoga River — the natives there are all but ready to roll into Canton and wreck the weekend for everyone if Modell were to be enshrined while he’s alive.

Why would the NFL lords and the Pro Football Hall of Fame want to deal with a very cranky and messy local contingent on their biggest weekend and promotional arm on the year?

Answer: They wouldn’t and won’t.

And most of the people who would fight for Modell’s place in Canton are already dead. Pete Rozelle and the men of that era who built the league along with Modell can’t speak up on his behalf.

I’m honestly shocked that Ozzie Newsome, Jim Brown and some others don’t speak out.

I’m shocked that Bisciotti and the Ravens don’t go on a tirade about it.

Why am I the only one who continually lobbies and speaks out about it?

Am I the only one who watches Ralph Wilson and company get inducted and say, “What about Art Modell?”

All of sudden accomplishments and contributions mean nothing. Art Modell will die without rightfully entering the Hall of Fame and the fans of Cleveland will take great delight in denying him his spot of honor while he and his family can enjoy it.

Unless Baltimore — collectively — does something about it, that is.

Yesterday, a friend forwarded a blog to me written by a Cleveland blogger, who typifies the sentiment in Ohio. This blogger (on The Burning River) doesn’t even have his name associated with the piece but I thought it offered great “insight” into the mind of the Browns Backers.

The headline:

Rod Woodson Simultaneously Enters Halls of Fame,Shame

I invited this typical Cleveland sports fan onto the radio show.

It would be an interesting debate.

We’ll see how it goes…

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Posted on 10 August 2009 by Glenn Clark

You get props……

1-Anderson Silva and BJ Penn, Brian Bowles and Dominick Cruz

The stars of the fight weekend may well have been Silva, Penn, and Bowles; but the star of WNST’s UFC Bus Trip was a Ground Control Fighter named Raven Brooks. Raven is a confident young man with an attractive girlfriend who is absolutely much more well-adjusted than I have ever been in my entire life.

This wouldn’t be such a concern if it weren’t for the fact that Raven is 14 years old. And if you’re asking me how I know that his girlfriend is attractive, it is because he personally took the time to make sure he showed each and every one of us on the bus. This was an important moment for many of us, as it served as one of those “moments of clarity” where you get the idea that maybe nothing you have ever done in your entire life will match the accomplishments of a young man entering high school this fall. You also wonder if maybe you should be in prison. But that’s a story for another day.

Frank The Tank (and the lovely Mrs. Frank The Tank) were also amongst the stars of the bus, and worked very hard to uphold my only rule….”Don’t be an asshole.”

If you miss out on these bus trips, you’re an idiot. This was like Summer Camp.

As a handsome man I know who roots for the Terps and enjoys new beers Facebooked early Sunday morning;

Have any two human beings ever switched roles quicker than Anderson Silva and Forrest Griffin did tonight? One went from evil to hero; the other hero to….well……bitch.

I believe I saw Forrest Griffin running alongside my apartment still. He was saying “No Mas.”

And props to the crowd in Philadelphia, who did exactly what we thought the crowd in Philadelphia would do…..

2-Graham Gano

This was clearly one of those “how do we put pressure on this kid without ACTUALLY putting pressure on this kid?” situations. You gotta make the kick to give us the afternoon off……..BUT…..it’s only a 36 yard kick.

It’s sorta like saying to me….you want a week off of work? You gotta go get a girl’s phone number. THIS girl’s phone number…..


Miranda Kerr? You think it’s a challenge for me to get Miranda Kerr’s phone number? Christ. Give me something difficult. And let Forrester know I’ll be out this week.

3-Jason Berken, Adam Lind, and Roy Halladay

In other Orioles news this weekend……..they signed Freddy Guzman. So…..now…..they have Freddy Guzman.

And they’re terrible.

And pitching messiah wasn’t very good Sunday.

The Oakland A’s are coming to town this week. Buy your tickets now, or you…..might…not….ge……CHRIST this team is awful.

4-Juan Martin Del Potro and Flavia Penetta

Of course, by defeating Andy Roddick on Sunday at the Legg Mason; Juan Martin Del Potro earns a new nickname from me…….”asshole.”

Pardon my french. Bonjour.

Flavia Penetta looks like this…….


Which means her name isn’t the only thing she has in common with this man……


Why does he not currently have a show on TV? He deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Which Hall of Fame you ask? EVERY Hall of Fame.

5-Rod Woodson

Channeling Lance Storm, “If I could be serious for a moment…..”

Good for Rod Woodson for making a statement like he did Saturday night knowing he’d be dealing with a hostile environment there in Canton. Art Modell DOES belong in the Pro Football Hall of Fame; and it’s going to take more guys like Rod standing up and proclaiming it.

Who else enjoyed Ray Bachman’s introduction of Ralph Wilson by the way?


6-Jake Arrieta, Kenny Moreland, Ryan O’Shea, Richard D’Oleo, and Gary Helmick

But of course, Bowie was swept at the hands of Pawtucket; which means that no one in the world of Orioles baseball is capable of beating the Red Sox.

Is there an outside chance that when Dave Trembley needed to call up a pitcher last week during the Tigers series, he asked guys like Arrieta, Andy Mitchell, and David Pauley only to hear them say “You know what DT, thanks……but no thanks.”

7-Gonzalo Higuain and Petr Cech

Don’t worry Washington sports fans! If you missed Sunday’s DC United-Real Madrid contest; you’ll have ten more chances this fall to leave FedEx Field after seeing your team get their ass kicked!

8-Kerry Collins

I’ve missed you, sweet friend. Please don’t leave me in the hands of that other game whose name alone is so ugly I can’t mention it here for this long EVER again.

Of course, I didn’t even watch the game. There was a fight on. But having the option is good enough for me.

9-Michael Cuddyer, Wandy Rodriguez, Bobby Crosby, Derek Holland, Johan Santana, Russell Branyan, CC Sabathia, Carl Pavano, AJ Burnett, Jason Michaels, and Kelly Shoppach

Elsewhere in the world of Major League Baseball, the Yankees swept the Red Sox. I want to get excited about this; but I hate both of these teams…..so, get bent everyone who roots for these teams.

I hear the Red Sox have a plan for getting better though, and it involves signing this man……..


Okay, I’m just gonna put it out there. I’d basically hire Fred-Ex to do anything. And if someone can produce a Ravens jersey with the number 84 on the back and “Fred-Ex” as the name……..I’ll give you some sort of concert tickets. Or something.

10-Scott Dixon and Marcos Ambrose

Scott Dixon became the all-time winningest driver in IRL history this weekend; which can’t be a good sign because no one I know has ever heard of him.

But this doesn’t seem like the strangest world record of all time. Especially knowing that this man, Jackie “The Texas Snake Man” Bibby owns the record for most rattlesnakes help in his mouth…


Which reminds me of something……………

11-G.I. Joe

This also gives me an excuse to let you know that a REAL American Hero-Iraq vet Tony Fein-joins the Comcast Morning Show Monday at 7:15. Fein is a rookie LB out of Ole Miss who is in Training Camp trying to make the Ravens’ roster.

You know, since I’m at it, here are some other things I’d like to plug……

-I rule.
-My first book “It’s Hard Being The Complete Package” will be available in August 2012.
-I haven’t had time to go grocery shopping or do laundry recently. If someone else has a few minutes, I’ll repay you in WNST polo shirts. All of which are 5x.
-There is no chance you can get me to pick which John Hughes movie is best. Home Alone, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and The Breakfast Club would be my Top 3 though.
-I will be appearing personally at Chick-Fil-A at least 14 times this week. If you’d like a picture or autograph, buy me a sandwich.
-No, that is not me on this season of Fox’s show “More To Love”, and you’re a jackass for asking.
-I think Melewski and I will use the name “Gator Bites” when we beat everyone at the Maryland Cornhole Tournament Sunday in Annapolis.

12-Jim Riggleman

I heard a rumor that MASN analyst Rob Dibble said the Nats were “a playoff team” who just didn’t get going until later in the season.


Look, it is absolutely INSANE that the Natinals have won 8 straight games. But this is STILL the organization that….


Thanks to Dan Steinberg for (almost) all of that. While those of us in Baltimore are suicidal about our baseball team, I guess the DC folks have manged to continue laughing. But this winning thing is INSANE.

13-Timo Kaukonen and Tatyana Arkhipenko

I have no idea how the national SAUNA championships could possibly be any less sexy; but here’s a start….


Is there any chance I could get a recall vote? I believe Svetlana Shusterman is a much more deserving candidate…..



If you think I haven’t been caught singing along to “Eat That Watermelon” this weekend, you’re out of your mind. Nas is one of the greatest emcees of all time, so I’m not surprised he would make a social statement into the summer’s biggest jam….

Also, if this song didn’t change your life, you’re out pal……

15-Merriweather Post Pavilion

I was in Columbia Friday night; and I couldn’t help but notice how easy it was to park at the Mall, drink 2-37 beers, throw a football around; and then awkwardly try to pretend like I wasn’t staring at every 16 year old girl in the parking lot and on the hill. (It was a weekend of VERY awkward moments.)

O.A.R. wasn’t the best I’ve ever seen them, but they were sure as hell better than Nickelback or whoever you’re going to see this Summer. The highlight of the night might have been having Matt Nathanson join them on stage to channel Joe Cocker on “With A Little Help From My Friends”…..

but the emotional high point of the night was “War Song” (which apparently no 14 year old recognized, so there is no video of it; but I’m hoping this acoustic version gives you the idea)

Again, enjoy seeing Nickelback. Or whatever variation of Motley Crue you’re going to see. Or Kid Rock. I’m sure they’ll be good………

Plus, the venue still kicks ass. Mostly because it is NO WAYS similar to Nissan Pavilion or First Mariner Arena.

You got lucky……

1-Tiger Woods

Tiger got the good fortune of having Padraig Harrington COMPLETELY crap the bed down the stretch, and no matter how many times you listened closely to your TV, I do not believe any farts were audible from Akron.

(Editor’s note: Please save your hilarious “I bet they could be heard from your living room” jokes.)

2-Gregg Zaun

I’m going where?????


“You think you could get that Wetters kid to pack my bag?”

3-Caddies who have exact change

I have no idea if the story of Patrick Kane beating up a cab driver for not having exact change is true; but if it is, am I wrong to think it’s kinda awesome?

Get current change, you jerk!

4-Armanti Edwards

An actual conversation I had with my girlfriend (you’ve heard of her-“The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet”) Sunday.

“Sweetheart, this is exactly the reason why I can’t do work around the house. You see what happened to the Appalachian State quarterback?”

She of course understand, and did a damn fine job of trimming the hedges, I might add.

Also, upon hearing that something had happened to Armanti Edwards, I immediately asked “Is Stephen Curry okay?”

5-David Ortiz and Josh Hamilton

David Ortiz is going to be forgiven because everyone else was using steroids. Josh Hamilton is going to be forgiven because he looks like the coolest dude I have ever seen in my life…..


By the way, in some circles in Arizona; an evening that starts at Maloney’s in Tempe and ends at Les Girls is known as “A Night Out with Glenn Clark.”

6-Roddy White

Crap, I already wasted my Freddie Mitchell bit. I got a Bachman in…and a Melewski…is there a way to make fun of Rex Snider here?

Roddy White held out and ACTUALLY GOT PAID?!?!?!?!? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard since Rex Snider’s last blog?

So it’s not my best material. It’s 1:15 and I have to be awake in 3 hours. Next week, you write the blog.

7-Hot Sauce

This isn’t an omen to the And1 Mixtape Tour.


I was sitting in my high class breakfast establishment Saturday morning/afternoon (the INTERNATIONAL house of pancakes), and I realized that EVERYTHING on my plate (which was already delicious), could only be better with hot sauce.

Of course, how this lead to my roommate (“The Luckiest Dang Roommate on the Face of the Planet”) and I doing shots of Tabasco until 5am is beyond me.

You’re a zero……


As if I needed Hot Sauce. I could have probably just walked around with a bucket this weekend and used it to add some spice to my life. I’m pretty sure Tim Williams could have just said to me something like “Why even bother wearing pants this weekend, fellas?”

The point is that there is NOTHING in the world that is grosser than sweat. Especially men who have had a little too much buffalo chicken dip in their day and sweat in places they shouldn’t sweat really. Unless you sweat like this…..


…..not cool.


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