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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 08 November 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Pro Wrestling: TNA Turning Point (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View); Golf: Australian Open (Wednesday-Saturday 8pm from Sydney live on Golf Channel), LPGA Tour Lorena Ochoa Invitational (Thursday-Sunday 4pm from Guadalajara, Mexico live on Golf Channel); Auto Racing: NASCAR Kobalt Tools 500(Sunday 3pm from Phoenix live on ESPN); Women’s College Basketball: Loyola @ Maryland (Friday 7pm Comcast Center), Georgetown @ Maryland (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center); Tennis: ATP Tour BNP Paribas Masters (Tuesday 5am Wednesday & Thursday 4:30am  Friday 8am & 1:30pm Saturday 8am Sunday 9am from Paris live on Tennis Channel)

10. Foo Fighters/Social Distortion (Friday 7pm Verizon Center); Daughtry (Saturday 7:30pm Patriot Center); Everlast (Wednesday 7pm Recher Theatre); Howie Day (Saturday 7pm Baltimore Soundstage); Chuck Brown (8pm & 11pm Rams Head on Stage); Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue (Wednesday & Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club), Fitz and the Tantrums (Sunday 7pm 9:30 Club), Manchester Orchestra (Monday 6pm 9:30 Club); Rockapella (Thursday 8pm Strathmore); Jason Bonham’s Led Zeppelin Experience (Thursday 8pm Fillmore Silver Spring); Sting (Thursday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Kansas (Friday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), 3 Doors Down (Sunday 7pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Joe Bonamassa (Friday 8pm Hippodrome)

My buddy Chad Lamasa and I are headed to see the Fighters of Foo Friday night. He got the tickets, so I have to bring the Mentos. They kick a little ass…

I REALLY shouldn’t enjoy Chris Daughtry, but I totally do. I wish he was bringing Timbaland to Fairfax with him…

Fitz and the Tantrums are one of my absolute favorite bands of 2011. Before you watch a video of them playing with Daryl Hall, let’s debate whether it would be more fun to spell favorite “favourite”. I say yes.

If you’re not stoked for Rockapella, you and I disagree on the topic. I respect your feelings however.

9. Pauly Shore (Thursday-Saturday Magooby’s Joke House); Michael Ian Black (Saturday 9pm Ottobar); Maryland Irish Festival (Friday-Sunday Timonium Fairgrounds); “J. Edgar” out in theaters (Friday)

I believe Pauly Shore was voted “Most likely Hollywood star to be playing at a joint called Magooby’s Joke House in the future” 15 years ago. I’d call his fall from stardom surprising if it was. It isn’t.

Meanwhile Leonardo DiCaprio was voted “Most likely Hollywood star to be releasing another awesome movie this week” about 10 minutes ago. He’s so freaking good. The J. Edgar Hoover movie looks incredible, but it would take a lot of work for someone to make a movie half as good as “Catch Me If You Can”…

I’m going to do my best to come by the Irish Festival Saturday. Mostly because I want to eat a meal that resembles this…

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 01 November 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Lucian Bute vs. Glen Johnson (Saturday 9pm from Quebec City, Canada live on Showtime); Golf: World Golf Championships-HSBC Champions (Thursday & Friday 12am, Friday & Saturday 11pm from Shanghai, China live on Golf Channel), Champions Tour Charles Schwab Cup Championship (Thursday-Sunday 4:30pm from San Francisco live on Golf Channel);  Soccer: MLS Playoffs Eastern Conference Semifinals-Colorado Rapids @ Sporting Kansas City (Wednesday 8pm from Kansas City live on Fox Soccer Channel), Philadelphia Union @ Houston Dynamo (Thursday 8:30pm from Houston live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com); Western Conference Semifinals-Real Salt Lake @ Seattle Sounders (Wednesday 10pm from Seattle live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com), New York Red Bulls @ LA Galaxy (Thursday 11pm from Carson, CA live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com); College Soccer: Wake Forest @ Maryland (Thursday 7:30pm Ludwig Field); America East Tournament Quarterfinal: Hartford @ UMBC (Saturday 7pm Retriever Soccer Park); Tennis: ATP Tour Swiss Indoors Basel (Tuesday 10:30am Wednesday & Thursday 11am Friday 9am Saturday 9:30am Sunday 9am from Basel, Switzerland live on Tennis Channel); New York City Marathon (Sunday 9am from New York live on Universal Sports); Canadian Football League: Winnipeg Blue Bombers @ Calgary Stampeders (Saturday 4pm from Calgary live on NFL Network); Exhibition Women’s College Basketball: Messiah @ Maryland (Tuesday 7pm Comcast Center), Holy Family @ Maryland (Sunday 7pm Comcast Center)

10. Jay-Z/Kanye West (Tuesday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena, Thursday 7:30pm Verizon Center); Buddy Guy (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Marsha Ambrosius (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); Misfits (Thursday 6:30pm Recher Theatre); Orgone (Friday 8pm 8×10 Club); BoDeans (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head on Stage), Shelby Lynne (Monday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); Willie Nelson (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club), Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers (Saturday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Cold War Kids (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Donald Glover/Childish Gambino (Tuesday 7pm Fillmore Silver Spring), Jamey Johnson (Saturday 8pm Fillmore Silver Spring); Soulive (Friday 7pm State Theatre); Florence + The Machine “Ceremonials” & Wale “Ambition” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

There’s nothing I can say about HOV and Ye that you don’t already know. I assume they’ll be going HAM on the Civic Center Tuesday night…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdQ0kueR2DU[/youtube]

Marsha Ambrosius comes off to me as sort of a female version of Maxwell. Am I right?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lgbUptkC28&ob=av2e[/youtube]

I feel like “Sabotage” is the track I’m digging most early from Wale’s new record. Someone ask him to play “Everybody Beats Glenn” against me this week on “The Reality Check” on AM1570 WNST.net…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz8FltiaPJk[/youtube]

Who was the guy that spent the cash for the new FATM record the MINUTE hit iTunes? That was Glenn Clark. Seriously, this band has TOTALLY avoided the sophomore slump issue.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs&ob=av2e[/youtube]

9. Jeff Dunham (Saturday 8pm Patriot Center); Louis C.K.(Friday 7:30pm & 9:30pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); Carlos Mencia (Tuesday 7pm DC Improv), Jim Breuer (Friday-Sunday DC Improv); “A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas” out in theaters (Friday)

If you’re a Saturday Night Live mark the way I am, you might be willing to check out Jim Breuer…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUjmGSMGUt4[/youtube]

I don’t know that I’m signing off on the new Harold & Kumar flick, but the first one is STILL funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSWnmOvgyKc[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 18 October 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Nonito Donaire vs. Omar Narvaez (Saturday 10:30pm from New York live on HBO); Soccer: MLS-Portland Timbers @ DC United (Wednesday 8pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet), Sporting Kansas City @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS); College Soccer: Penn State @ UMBC (Wednesday 7pm Retriever Soccer Park); Mixed Martial Arts: Bellator Fighting Championships 55 (Saturday 9pm from Yuma, AZ live on MTV2); High School Football: Perry Hall @ Woodlawn (Friday 7pm), Dunbar @ Poly (7pm), Archbishop Spalding @ Calvert Hall (7pm); Rugby World Cup Bronze Medal Match: Wales vs. Australia (Friday 3:30am from Auckland, New Zealand live on Universal Sports), Final: France vs. New Zealand (Sunday 3pm from Auckland, New Zealand on NBC); Canadian Football League: Montreal Alouettes @ Winnipeg Blue Bombers (Saturday 3pm from Winnipeg live on NFL Network)

10. Dirty Heads/Gym Class Heroes (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Jayhawks (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Ani Difranco (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), New Found Glory (Sunday 5:30pm Rams Head Live), Mat Kearney (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Mike Posner (Thursday 7pm Recher Theatre); J Cole (Thursday 7pm Baltimore Soundstage); Blind Boys of Alabama (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head on Stage), Stephen Stills (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head on Stage), Dick Dale (Saturday 12:30pm Rams Head on Stage), Little River Band (Monday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); Jason Isbell (Friday 10pm 9:30 Club), Taking Back Sunday (Saturday 11pm 9:30 Club); Wale (Saturday 7pm Fillmore Silver Spring); “Weird Al” Yankovic (Wednesday 8pm Warner Theatre), Jackson Browne (Sunday 7pm Warner Theatre); India.Arie (Saturday 8pm Strathmore); Martina McBride (Sunday 7pm France-Merrick Performing Arts Center at the Hippodrome); Coldplay “Mylo Xyloto, Jane’s Addiction “The Great Escape Artist” available on iTunes/in stores (Tuesday); Pearl Jam 20 available on DVD (Tuesday)

I’ve had my ass kicked a bit over not being more familiar with the Jayhawks until recently. They’re quite good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBGX_z6xuVU[/youtube]

The name Dick Dale might not mean a lot to you, but if you listen to “The Reality Check” on AM1570 WNST.net (and why wouldn’t you?), you’d be familiar with the theme to “Totally Tubular.” (Someone will yell at me for not also noting that Dick Dale is one of the greatest surf guitarists of all time. I’ve handled that now.)…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5OHrQYwRac[/youtube]

The Sun’s Kevin Van Valkenburg introduced me to Jason Isbell (of Drive-By Truckers fame) perhaps without even realizing he had. I’m thankful.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V_vBPaI1d0[/youtube]

I’d love to be like the rest of the world and just make fun of Coldplay, but DAMN they make good music…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Kf_6BWcOOg[/youtube]

9. Brad Garrett (Thursday 6pm & 9pm Rams Head on Stage); Lewis Black (Saturday 8pm Lyric Opera House Sunday 8pm Fillmore Silver Spring); Paul Mooney (Thursday-Saturday Baltimore Comedy Factory); Dave Attell (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tide” and “Bad Teacher” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday); Maryland Renaissance Festival final weekend (Saturday & Sunday RennFest Fairgrounds Crownsville)

There are few people in the world that GENUINELY make me laugh. Lewis Black is one of those people. (Language NSFW…unless you work in Lewis Black’s office of course.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mCDZMWVWuc[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 04 April 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Horse Racing: Illinois Derby (Saturday 5pm from Stickney/Cicero, IL live on TVG), Santa Anita Derby (Saturday 5pm from Arcadia, CA live on HRTV); Soccer: U.S. Open Cup-Philadelphia Union @ DC United (Wednesday 7:30pm RFK Stadium), MLS-Los Angeles Galaxy @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm RFK Stadium); Boxing: Erik Morales vs. Marcos Maidana (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on HBO PPV), Friday Night Fights-David Lemieux vs. Marco Antonio Rubio (Friday 9pm from Montreal live on ESPN2); Tennis: ATP Tour U.S. Men’s Clay Court Championship (Saturday 2pm Sunday 3pm from Houston live on Tennis Channel); Arena Football: AFL Dallas Vigilantes vs. Georgia Force (Friday 8pm from Duluth, GA live on NFL Network)

10. Marsha Ambrosius & Melanie Fiona (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live); Bill Burr (Friday 7 & 9:30pm Recher Theatre), Aimee Mann (Sunday 7pm Recher Theatre); Colin Hay (Sunday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); House of Pain (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Toad The Wet Sprocket (Saturday 7pm 9:30 Club), Old 97′s (Sunday 7pm 9:30 Club); Dirty Heads (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Widespread Panic (Tuesday & Wednesday 8pm Warner Theatre); Ralphie May (Saturday 8pm Lisner Auditorium); Buddy Guy (Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere); Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons (Saturday 8:30pm Hippodrome)

House of Pain is still awesome, even if only one song REALLY matters…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9Q0jPyrja0[/youtube]

If you don’t love this Toad The Wet Sprocket song, we’ll NEVER be friends…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZpUUrEWnWQ[/youtube]

I got the chance to hang out with Rhett Miller from the Old 97′s on Radio Row in Dallas at the Super Bowl this year, and I COMPLETELY nerded out.

rhettmiller

If you’re not familiar, please to be checking them out…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDDyD0Hj5n0[/youtube]

I listened to a lot of WQSR growing up thanks to my father. I’m grateful. It taught me the significance of artists like Frankie Valli…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE40KM4SGAY[/youtube]

9. Cirque du Soleil “Totem” opens (Thursday 8pm Grand Chapiteau at the Westport Waterfront); Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus present Barnum 200 (Thursday 10:30am & 7:30pm, Friday 7:30pm, Saturday 11:30am 3:30pm & 7:30pm, Sunday 1pm & 5pm 1st Mariner Arena)

I used to be a big fan of the circus, but…you know…I’m not 8 anymore. Everyone keeps telling me about how great Cirque is, but I feel like I couldn’t enjoy it without the Paul Rudd treatment from “Knocked Up”.

Instead, the only circus-related activity I enjoy watching involves YouTube and a certain former WWF star…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC4qriqlfDM[/youtube]

It’s almost unbelievable to remember Doink The Clown having faced Triple H…like…ever.

8. Pro Wrestling: Maryland Championship Wrestling “Bodyslam Autism” (Friday 7:30pm The New Green Room Dundalk)

Neat! Another chance for me to nerd out about rasslin’!

So…who watched WrestleMania? Who thought it was a bit over the top how much they had The Undertaker sell his injuries after forcing HHH to tap?

Who has an opinion on the subject and has ALSO recently had sex with a girl?

Nope…didn’t think so.

Eh, who cares. Let’s keep nerding out.

Was the Snooki thing cool? I hated (but understood) everything about why WWE did it-and I know they thought this move should put her over…but honestly, was this cool???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed0LaWLy5N8[/youtube]

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Samsung Mobile 500 (Saturday 7:30pm from Fort Worth, TX live on FOX); IndyCar Series Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama (Sunday 3pm from Birmingham, AL live on VERSUS)

I used to date a gal who was from the DFW area. Apparently the NASCAR race is a big deal down there.

You know what’s a BIGGER deal down there?

texas

Yep.

6. NBA: Detroit Pistons @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Indiana Pacers (Wednesday 7pm from Indianapolis live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Boston Celtics (Friday 7:30pm from Boston live on Comcast SportsNet), Atlanta Hawks @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Boston Celtics @ Washington Wizards (Monday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

Just in time for the season to be over, the ‘Zards have actually won a couple of games recently! Neat trick!

Elsewhere in the country, there are actual significant pro basketball games being played. Like in Chicago, where Derrick Rose…is…amazing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QmcFh-hOg8[/youtube]

5. Women’s College Basketball: NCAA Championship Game-Notre Dame vs. Texas A&M (Tuesday 8:30pm from Indianapolis live on ESPN)

And if the Aggies end up winning, we’ll turn to Shirley Q Liquor to celebrate…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbDX22SGZV0[/youtube]

(Yes, that is usually playing on “Elliott in the Morning” around the same time I’m arriving at 1550 Hart Rd. each morning. And it’s still funny every time.)

4. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce-Nick Diaz vs. Paul Daley (Saturday 10pm from San Diego live on Showtime); Bellator Fighting Championships 40 (Saturday 9pm from Newkirk, OK live on MTV2)

I poked my head at Bellator fighting on MTV2 the other night. It wasn’t that bad. I mean, it isn’t a marquee promotion for a reason-but it’s at LEAST watchable.

Of course, it’s not exactly the best thing I’ve ever seen on MTV2. That of course involved one Chris Pontius…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xj8QzRaW68[/youtube]

Does enjoying Wildboyz make me kind of an idiot? I mean, I can accept that.

3. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Toronto Maple Leafs (Tuesday 7pm from Toronto live on Comcast SportsNet), Florida Panthers @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Washington Capitals @ Florida Panthers (Saturday 7pm from Sunrise, FL live on Comcast SportsNet); College Hockey: NCAA Frozen Four-Minnesota Duluth vs. Notre Dame (Thursday 5pm from St. Paul, MN live on ESPN2 & ESPN3.com), Michigan vs. North Dakota (Thursday 8:30pm from St. Paul, MN live on ESPN2 & ESPN3.com), National Championship Game (Saturday 7pm from St. Paul, MN live on ESPN & ESPN3.com)

And if after the game the Leafs and Caps decided to merge into one team, their logo would look something like the one on the right below (Thanks Puck Daddy!)…

leafs
And you know what? I don’t care for anything from Washington-but that’s actually kind of an awesome logo. I might be all in.

2. College Lacrosse: Fairfield @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST); Albany @ Johns Hopkins (Friday 7:30pm from Homewood Field live on ESPNU); Towson @ UMBC (Wednesday 7:30pm UMBC Stadium), Binghamton @ UMBC (Saturday 12pm from UMBC Stadium live on ABC2/ESPN3.com); UMass @ Towson (Saturday 1pm Unitas Stadium); Maryland @ Navy (Friday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on CBS Sports); Stevenson @ Frostburg State (Wednesday 4pm Bobcat Stadium), Stevenson @ St. Mary’s (Saturday 1pm Seahawk Stadium)

It’s the big Baltimore County battle Wednesday night in Catonsville.  Representing the East Side…

towson

And from our friends on the West Side, an actual photo from the women’s bathroom inside the Chemistry building at UMBC…

umbc

So…you know…advantage Tigers and all.

1. Golf: PGA Tour-The Masters (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on ESPN, Saturday 3:30pm Sunday 2pm live on CBS. All Golf from Augusta, GA)

With no offense to the nerds (like Drew Forrester) who will watch this pantsless this weekend, there’s only one REAL reason to watch this event (unless somehow Tiger Woods starts playing golf again)….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRv6JwWk4As[/youtube]

Hello friends.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 21 March 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Tennis-ATP Tour & WTA Tour Sony Ericsson Open (Satuday-Monday 11am from Miami live on Tennis Channel); NBA: Washington Wizards @ Portland Trailblazers (Tuesday 10pm from Portland live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Los Angeles Clippers (Wednesday 10:30pm from Los Angeles live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Denver Nuggets (Wednesday 9pm from Denver live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Golden State Warriors (Sunday 9pm from Oakland live on Comcast SportsNet); Auto Racing: NASCAR Auto Club 400 (Sunday 3pm from Fontana, CA live on FOX); Horse Racing: UAE Derby (Saturday 10am from Meydan City, Dubai live on HRTV), Louisiana Derby (Saturday 5pm from New Orleans live on HRTV); Arena Football: AFL Spokane Shock vs. Iowa Barnstormers (Friday 8pm from Des Moines, Iowa live on NFL Network)

10. Elton John (Saturday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena); Sick Puppies & Framing Hanley (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live); Kingston Trio (Sunday 4pm & 7pm Rams Head On Stage); Cold War Kids (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club), All Time Low & Yellowcard (Monday 5:30pm 9:30 Club); Stryper (Tuesday 7pm Bourbon Street), CKY (Sunday 7pm Bourbon Street); Janet Jackson (Tuesday & Thursday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Stanley Clarke & Victor Wooten (Wednesday 7pm State Theatre); The Strokes “Angles”, Green Day “Awesome as F**k”, Soundgarden “Live on I-5″ available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

I could post songs from four different acts coming to town next week-but in all fairness, only one of them is Elton John.

Therefore, here are four Elton John songs. I’m sure you understand.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2Ta0qCG8No[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RhJHL34DiBY[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxE7y1gSNPE[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBCVEcjScTQ[/youtube]

9. Roller Derby: Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena)

Does anyone remember the “Roller Jam” show that used to be on TNN a few years back???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RJuryj90RpQ[/youtube]

Holy hell. How did that show not last? That’s Jerry Springer-quality awesome. “Awesome sauce” in fact.

(If you’re a “Parks & Recreation” fan and that last line meant something to you, you’re a hero to me.)

8. Golf: PGA Tour Arnold Palmer Invitational (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 2:30pm live on NBC. All golf from Orlando); LPGA Tour Kia Classic (Thursday-Saturday 3:30pm, Sunday 4pm live on Golf Channel)

Phil Mickelson and Tiger Woods are going to play in Orlando…which means that if you so choose to, you can watch two bad golfers on television this weekend.

I enjoy the Arnold Palmer Invitational, but in my neighborhood we always called it the “Half & Half” Invitational.

Anyone?

Also-why can’t I post the Family Guy “Old People Agree With Arnold Palmer” clip here? It’s nowhere to be found on YouTube…or anywhere else. It’s pretty funny. And pretty honest. I think I’m starting to feel more and more like Arnold Palmer at age 27.

7. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Philadelphia Flyers (Tuesday 7:30pm from Philly live on VERSUS), Washington Capitals @ Ottawa Senators (Friday 7:30pm from Ottawa live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Washington Capitals @ Montreal Canadiens (Saturday 7pm from Montreal live on Comcast SportsNet & NHL Network)

With the Caps playing in the City of Brotherly Love this week, I get the chance to rag on Drew Forrester-sharing memories of Bobby Clarke, Ron Hextall, Ken Linseman and Joffrey Lupul.

In fact, here’s a small gift for my “Morning Reaction” cohort…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8KVx8vDlYw[/youtube]

6. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC Fight Night Live-Antonio Rogerio Nogueira vs. Phil Davis (Saturday 10pm from Seattle live on SpikeTV); Bellator Fighting Championships 38: Tim Carpenter vs. Daniel Gracie (Saturday 7pm from Tunica Resorts, MS live on MTV2); Titan Fighting Championships 17 (Friday 10pm from Kansas City live on HDNet)

Did you miss Jon “Bones” Jones’ complete DESTRUCTION of former UFC light heavyweight champ Mauricio “Shogun” Rua this past weekend? Here’s some highlights, courtesy of ESPN…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FciP4UFe88[/youtube]

I haven’t seen such a one-sided fight since The Undertaker completely destroyed Triple H at Wrestlemania X-7…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ht3J06SVIg[/youtube]

Oh wait…I guess we’re supposed to be pretending like that fight never happened…

5. Women’s College Basketball: Georgetown @ Maryland (Tuesday 7pm from Comcast Center live on ESPN2 & ESPN3.com); other games Tuesday, Saturday-Monday on ESPN2 & ESPN3.com

Thus far we’ve seen a lot of YouTube videos, but absolutely no pictures of attractive women.

Does it make me sexist that I waited until the “Women’s College Basketball” section to consider attractive women? At least I said “attractive women” instead of “sexy broads”, right?

The below picture is of former Playboy model Tiffany Taylor, a University of Maryland graduate. So, you know, once again…Terrapins > Hoyas.

tifftaylor

4. College Basketball: NCAA Tournament Sweet 16-San Diego State vs. UConn (Thursday 7:15pm from Anaheim live on CBS), Florida vs. BYU (Thursday 7:27pm from New Orleans live on TBS), Duke vs. Arizona (Thursday 9:45pm from Anaheim live on CBS), Wisconsin vs. Butler (Thursday 9:57pm from New Orleans live on TBS), North Carolina vs. Marquette (Friday 7:15pm from Newark live on CBS), Kansas vs. Richmond (Friday 7:27pm from San Antonio live on TBS), Ohio State vs. Kentucky (Friday 9:45pm from Newark live on CBS), Florida State vs. VCU (Friday 9:57pm from San Antonio live on TBS); Elite 8 games Saturday & Sunday live on CBS

The good news? With Jimmer Fridette and the Cougars still very much alive, CBS & Turner intelligently decided to send “Mr. March Madness” Gus Johnson to the Big Easy.

That leads us to the fantastic video of Johnson calling the Jacksonville Jaguars’ Hail Mary victory over the Houston Texans this season, courtesy of “imaU2fan” on Twitter. This is pretty good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wap6gGcVDAA&feature=youtu.be[/youtube]

3. College Lacrosse: Loyola @ Mt. St. Mary’s (Saturday 1pm from Waldron Family Stadium live on AM1570 WNST); Virginia @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 2pm from Homewood Field live on ESPNU); Quinnipiac @ UMBC (Saturday 3:30pm UMBC Stadium); Towson @ Delaware (Saturday 1pm from Newark, DE live on ABC2 & ESPN3.com); North Carolina @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU); Colgate @ Navy (Saturday 12pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium); Tufts @ Stevenson (Wednesday 4pm Caves Athletic Complex), Scranton @ Stevenson (Saturday 12pm Caves Athletic Complex)

Both the Cavaliers and Tar Heels are coming to town this weekend. Conveniently, I can’t stand the Cavaliers or the Tar Heels.

Not all of the memories between the Terps and UNC are positive, but here’s one I like…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0SnOgHx3eg[/youtube]

2. Soccer: MISL Championship-Milwaukee Wave @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 1st Mariner Arena); Argentina @ Team USA (Saturday 7pm from East Rutherford, NJ live on ESPN2); MLS-DC United @ New England Revolution (Saturday 4:30pm from Foxborough, MA live on Comcast SportsNet)

Attention people of Wisconsin: I appreciate what your Green Bay Packers did in the Super Bowl. In fact, I’ll always be grateful.

But on Friday night, I hope you lose. Terribly. Preferably something along the lines of 400,000 to zero.

But I’ll still be grateful that you beat the Steelers. And I’ll be grateful that “That 70′s Show” was set there. I always thought “Mila Kunis or Laura Prepon” should have been the “Ginger or Maryann” of my generation…

kunisprepon

1. Boxing: Yuriorkis Gamboa vs. Jorge Solis (Saturday 9:45pm from Atlantic City live on HBO)

You’re thinking to yourself: “Who the hell are these guys?”

The response: “who cares?”

The reason why this fight is #1 on the list is that Ravens S Tom Zbikowski is scheduled to fight on the undercard.

As I told Tom two weeks ago, I’m a Notre Dame hater in general. But I pull for him…even if I pull for Georgia Tech when I’m watching “Rudy.”

Feel better Fighting Irish lovers. You know I still cry during this scene…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZ7ZpLgkVxA[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 14 March 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Transitions Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Tampa Bay, FL); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Demetrius Hopkins vs. Brad Solomon (Friday 9pm from Hollywood, FL live on ESPN2), Lucian Bute vs. Brian Magee (Saturday 10pm from Montreal live on Showtime); Horse Racing: Rebel Stakes (Saturday 5pm from Hot Springs, Arkansas live on HRTV); Arena Football-AFL: Philadelphia Soul @ Chicago Rush (Friday 8pm from Chicago live on NFL Network); Soccer: MLS-Columbus Crew @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm RFK Stadium)

10. Pete Yorn (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Cold (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Halestorm & Charm City Devils (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live); Mike Epps (Saturday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena), Lil’ Wayne (Sunday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena); Phil Lesh & Bob Weir (Thursday 8pm Patriot Center); Travie McCoy (Sunday 6pm Recher Theatre); America (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Loretta Lynn (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club); 2nd Annual Hippodrome Foodie Experience with Alton Brown (Saturday 6pm Hippodrome); The Fighter” and “WWE True Story of Wrestlemania” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

Drew Forrester and I will be Rams Head Tuesday night, because Pete Yorn is outstanding…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zginCd6D0as[/youtube]

John Allen is a Charm City rock icon. That is all.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qmHauE5ODe4[/youtube]

If you’re not a Weezy fan, I don’t think we can be friends. Nicki Minaj is coming to town with him. I’d marry her.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfYcOYMNuXM[/youtube]

Is it possible for me to enjoy a Phil Lesh/Bob Weir show even if I don’t smoke pot? I mean, I dig Scarlet Begonias…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj_kK1j3CV0[/youtube]

9. St. Patrick’s Day (Thursday)

This year’s festivities will be a bit different, as basketball will be a bit of a priority Thursday. That being said, I need a couple of things to make my St. Patty’s Day better.

1-Bangers and Mash

bangers

2-Smithwick’s

smithwicks

3-Flogging Molly[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trkx9xLb5X8[/youtube]

If your establishment has those three things and ample breathing room, please let me know. I will be in attendance.

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Jeff Byrd 500 (Sunday 1pm from Bristol, TN live on FOX)

Bristol is a smaller track, which is supposed to make the race more exciting.
But really, how can it get any more exciting than THIS?!?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1V78QFZxooQ[/youtube]

7. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour BNP Paribas Open (Tuesday & Wednesday 2pm live on Tennis Channel, Thursday 2pm & 10pm live on Tennis Channel, Friday 2pm & 6pm live on Tennis Channel 4pm & 11pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 7:30pm live on Tennis Channel 2pm & 4pm live on ABC, Sunday 2pm & 4pm live on ABC. All tennis from Indian Wells, CA)

The Indian Wells stop is one of the few tour stops on the schedule that goes two weeks despite not being a grand slam event.

Of note from what’s already happened in the draw, Donald Young defeated Andy Murray.

NO, NO…please don’t leave. I promise that’s the only tennis analysis you’ll find here. Instead, here’s the picture of Ana Ivanovic everyone likes so bad…

ivanovic

6. NBA: Washington Wizards @ Chicago Bulls (Tuesday 8pm from Chicago live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Toronto Raptors (Friday 7pm from Toronto live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), New Jersey Nets @ Washington Wizards (Sunday 1pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

The ‘Zards haven’t done much of anything right this season…until this past weekend.

This past weekend they did a FANTASTIC job…of finding their way onto Blake Griffin posters!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHB5rNtha-A[/youtube]

Talk about giving fans EXACTLY what they paid their money for!

5. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Montreal Canadiens (Tuesday 7pm from Montreal live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Washington Capitals @ Detroit Red Wings (Wednesday 7:30pm from Detroit live on VERSUS & Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ New Jersey Devils (Friday 7pm from Newark, NJ live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet)

So everything that’s happened in the world of hockey recently has been about Zedano Charo. I’m not interested.

The only thing I care about in the world of hockey is the fact that the Phoenix Coyotes got two big points Sunday night against the Anaheim Ducks. But I don’t think anyone else cares, so I won’t go any further with it.

You know what, there’s nothing hockey interesting to post here. So instead I’ll post Zach Galifianakis’ monologue from Saturday Night Live. He KILLED…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-QnulJMA2FQ[/youtube]

Yeah. That’s better than hockey.

4. Women’s College Basketball: NCAA Tournament-St. Francis vs. Maryland (Sunday 12pm from Comcast Center live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com), Georgetown vs. Princeton (Sunday 2:30pm from Comcast Center live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com). More games Saturday-

While the Terrapins are involved, I’ll be paying attention to Women’s March Madness. In fact, I’ll probably even head down to College Park Sunday.

But if for some reason the season were to come to an end for the Terps, my interest in Women’s College Basketball would go right back to what it was before…

“What’s former UTEP star Claudia Lampe doing these days?”

UTEP

3. College Lacrosse: Denver @ Loyola (Wednesday 7pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST), Loyola @ Air Force (Saturday 3pm from Colorado Springs, CO live on AM1570 WNST); UMBC @ Maryland (Friday 8pm from Byrd Stadium live on ABC 2 & ESPN3.com), St. Joseph’s @ Maryland (Sunday 1pm Byrd Stadium); Towson @ Navy (Tuesday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium); Stony Brook @ Towson (Saturday 1pm Unitas Stadium); Johns Hopkins @ Syracuse (Saturday 6pm from Syracuse, NY live on ESPNU); SUNY Cortland @ Stevenson (Saturday 1pm Caves Athletic Complex)

What do you think the chances are that Greyhounds nation will let me ride out to Colorado with them for the game with the Falcons? I just want to be there for the flyover…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8k5b7Pzmy74[/youtube]

By the way, I think the Hounds will beat Air Force Saturday. I don’t know if I would feel the same way if they were playing against Ivan Korshunov from Air Force One…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1P1xOBvAyg[/youtube]

2. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 128-Mauricio “Shogun” Rua vs. Jon “Bones” Jones (Saturday 10pm from Newark, NJ live on Pay-Per-View); Bellator Fighting Championships 37 (Saturday 7pm from Concho, OK live on MTV2)

I would suggest Baltimore be rooting for Bones Jones Saturday night, as his brother is Ravens DT Arthur Jones.

With no offense to Tom Zbikowski-who I’m pulling for-I know for SURE Saturday night’s fight will be more fulfilling than watching Zibby laugh at the Tomato Can he was placed in the ring against…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TQIf9cMS_Y[/youtube]

If you’ve never seen Bones fight, he’s pretty freaking entertaining…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQqiilaj1rs[/youtube]

1. College Basketball: NCAA Tournament-Butler vs. Old Dominion (Thursday 12:40pm from Verizon Center live on TruTV), Pitt vs. UNC Asheville/Arkansas-Little Rock (Thursday 3:10pm from Verizon Center live on TruTV), UConn vs. Bucknell (Thursday 7:20pm from Verizon Center live on TNT), Cincinnati vs. Missouri (Thursday 9:50pm from Verizon Center live on TNT) Other games Thursday-Sunday live on CBS, TNT, TBS and TruTV

I don’t care how many networks show the NCAA Tournament as long as two things happen.

1-They ALL play this song…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4o_FZZ_Ccs[/youtube]

2-They somehow find a way to allow Gus Johnson to call every game…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkiM3tBJVhk[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 28 February 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Honda Classic (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Palm Beach Gardens, FL); Harlem Globetrotters (Saturday 1pm Verizon Center; Friday & Saturday 7:30pm Patriot Center); Soccer: MISL-Chicago Riot @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena); Boxing: Zab Judah vs. Kaizer Mabuza (Saturday 9pm from Newark, NJ live on Pay-Per-View)

10. Marc Broussard (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Ra Ra Riot (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Rev Theory & Pop Evil (Friday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); Jah Works (Friday 7pm Bourbon Street), Ice Cube (Monday 8pm Bourbon Street); Tim Reynolds (Sunday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Good Charlotte (Friday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Scissor Sisters (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Get Up Kids (Tuesday 8pm Black Cat DC); Randy Newman (Wednesday 8pm Strathmore); Leon Redbone (Thursday 8pm Barns at Wolf Trap); Jeffrey Ross (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); 127 Hours” and “Faster” available on DVD & Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

Marc Broussard makes me wish I wasn’t spending the week in Sarasota. Damnit!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuWPseegaKw[/youtube]

If you listen to “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST (and why the hell wouldn’t you?), you know Drew Forrester and I are ALL IN when it comes to Ra Ra Riot. They’re strong.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mVun8pRhNQQ[/youtube]

Good Charlotte may be from Waldorf, but they’re huge Baltimore Orioles fans. Benji Madden and Joel Madden in fact BOTH have O’s tattoos if I remember right. Either way, Festival Song will ALWAYS hold a special place in my heart…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4t54bPUvmg[/youtube]

I only know one song the Get Up Kids have ever done, and it was a cover of The Cure. But damn was it good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukcDTCRerIk[/youtube]

9. Tennis-Davis Cup: Team USA vs. Chile (Friday 9am & 12pm, Saturday 10am, Sunday 9am & 12pm from Santiago, Chile live on Tennis Channel)

I’d be much more excited about the Davis Cup if:

1-It were on a real TV channel. No offense Tennis Channel, but I’m the biggest tennis fan on the planet and even I don’t have the Tennis Channel.

2-The great American hope wasn’t Andy Roddick. I’ll enjoy the eye candy, but winning in Memphis two weeks ago doesn’t exactly make me suddenly hopeful he’s due for a career turnaround.

Of course, if A-Rod’s flu symptoms were to keep him out, we’d be left with John Isner.

ISN’T ANYONE IN THIS COUNTRY A GOOD TENNIS PLAYER?!?!?!?!?

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Kobalt Tools 400 (Sunday 3pm from Las Vegas live on FOX)

I can think of a few things I’d rather do in Vegas than watch Jeff Gordon drive a car.

A-Piss away money on Freemont Street while watching bad cover bands.

B-Drink alcohol out of a football…

football

C-Almost anything involving Holly Madison…

holly

7. Women’s College Basketball: ACC  Tournament-Maryland vs. Georgia Tech/Virginia Tech winner (Friday 11am from Greensboro, NC live on Fox Sports Net nationally, Comcast SportsNet locally)

Well Terps fans…if you want to be excited about March Madness…I’d suggest you learn the names of the players on Brenda Frese’s team.

First name to learn? Diana Tchatchouang.

tchatch

What is Tchatchouang French for, you ask? Actually, Tchatchouang is French for “HUH?!?!”

6. NBA: Golden State Warriors @ Washington Wizards (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Minnesota Timberwolves @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Detroit Pistons (Sunday 6pm from Auburn Hills, MI live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS)

Baltimore Terps fans-you don’t think things could be worse? You COULD root for the ‘Zards!

I don’t know how to polish this. The Wizards are unbelievably awful. It’s almost impossible. Making it worse this week, the teams playing the Wizards are awful too.

Why should you watch one of these games? Ummm….maybe their mascot G-Man will do something cool???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfBXFRSt4pE[/youtube]

5. High School Basketball: Baltimore Catholic League Championship Game-John Carroll vs. St. Frances (Tuesday 7pm Reitz Arena)

I LIKE the fact that the Patriots and the Panthers are getting together for their fourth showdown of the season.

I LOVE any sentence that includes the words “Catholic” and “school”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCgc-N7J2Mo[/youtube]

(Note-Stacy Keibler and Torrie Wilson unlikely to be at BCL title game Tuesday.)

4. NHL: New York Islanders @ Washington Capitals (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), St. Louis Blues @ Washington Capitals (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ Florida Panthers (Sunday 5pm from Sunrise, FL live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ Tampa Bay Lightning (Monday 7pm from Tampa live on VERSUS)

The trade deadline in the National Hockey League was Monday, and I was as surprised as anyone to see that the Caps dealt Sidney Ponson to the San Francisco Cows for Darin Blood.

(I think I just combined the Ponson and Joe Carter deals into one. God it sucks being an Orioles fan.)

All of those trades and they didn’t come up with Kenny Wu? I’m reminded of why I don’t root for the damn team…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxSY4vClA4U[/youtube]

3. College Lacrosse: Bellarmine @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST); Towson @ Mt. St. Mary’s (Saturday 1pm Waldron Family Stadium)http://wnst.net/wordpress/glennclark/wp-admin/post.php?action=edit&post=10574; Princeton @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 1pm from Homewood Field live on ESPNU); Bellarmine @ Maryland (Monday 3pm Byrd Stadium); Hood @ Stevenson (Wednesday 3pm Caves Athletic Complex)

With the Tigers and Blue Jays on the same field Saturday, there’s probably someone who can discover the cure for the common cold.

It’s too highfalutin for me. I’d rather look at picture of Kayla Love from Busted Coverage. Oh look…

kaylalove

2. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC on VERSUS-Diego Sanchez vs. Martin Kampmann (Thursday 9pm from Louisville live on VERSUS), Strikeforce Columbus: Dan Henderson vs. Rafael “Feijao” Calvacante (Saturday 10pm from Columbus live on Showtime)

Boy, I miss the days when it was a big deal when “Hendo” faught. Probably won’t be the case on Saturday night.

Martin Kampmann will join Thyrl Nelson and John Rallo on “The MMA Report” Tuesday at 1:30pm on AM1570 WNST. Then he’ll fight a guy who craps in the woods…honestly…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KuHz0IEPxQ[/youtube]

1. College Basketball: Maryland @ Miami (Wednesday 7pm from Coral Gables, FL live on ESPNU), Virginia @ Maryland (Saturday 2pm from Comcast Center live on ACC Network-WNUV 54 in Charm City); Morgan State @ Coppin State (Thursday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); MAAC Tournament-Loyola vs. St. Peter’s (Saturday 2pm from Bridgeport, Conn. live on MSG Network); America East Tournament-UMBC vs. Binghamton (Thursday 8:15pm from Hartford, Conn. streamed live at AmericaEast.com); CAA Tournament-Towson vs. Drexel (Friday 2:30pm from Richmond, streamed live at CAASports.com)

It’s march and I’m mad!

That’s mostly because the Terrapins have absolutely no shot at going to the NCAA Tournament.

Oh well. UVa still sucks. Except for Dave Matthews Band…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCBlvTfuoPQ[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 21 February 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Women’s College Basketball-Virginia Tech @ Maryland (Thursday 7:30pm Comcast Center); Boxing: Miguel Acosta vs. Brandon Rios (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights: Juan Carlos Burgos vs. Cristobal Cruz (Friday 9pm from Tulsa, Oklahoma live on ESPN2); Tennis: ATP Tour Delray Beach International Tennis Championships (Saturday 2pm & 7pm, Sunday 1pm & 3pm from Delray Beach, FL live on Tennis Channel), Abierto Mexicano Telcel (Wednesday 4pm & 8pm, Thursday 2pm & 8pm, Friday 6pm & 10pm, Saturday 10am from Acapulco, Mexico live on ESPN3.com), Dubai Duty Free Tennis Championships (Monday-Friday 5am & 10am, Saturday 10am from Dubai, United Arab Emirates live on ESPN3.com)

10. Bon Jovi (Sunday 7:30pm Verizon Center), Lady Gaga (Thursday 8pm Verizon Center); Pat Green (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live, Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club); Robert Cray Band (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); David Gray (Tuesday 7:30pm Strathmore); Charlie Murphy (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Pat McGee Band (Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); Ryan Cabrera (Monday 8pm Jammin’ Java); G. Love “Fixin To Die” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

I saw Bon Jovi a few years ago at Jobing.com Arena in Glendale, Arizona. I was disappointed. He played country pop songs. I didn’t pay to see that. I actually didn’t pay at all. But if I had, THIS is what I would have wanted to see…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40UQDEtRxp8[/youtube]

I like Pat McGee AND Pat Green. I also like Pat Sajak, but I don’t like Pat Boone necessarily.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzTL2woRzrI[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJWnIFlYKjs[/youtube]

Even our buddy Rob Fahey (of Ravyns fame) says he’s most impressed by David Gray of current musicians. That’s high praise…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sMxfKuft8x4[/youtube]

And even without the “Special Sauce”, I’d recommend picking up the new G. Love…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCPH3dPQkIc[/youtube]

9. NBA: Indiana Pacers @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Philadelphia 76ers (Wednesday 7pm from Philadelphia live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Miami Heat (Friday 7:30pm from Miami live on Comcast SportsNet), Dallas Mavericks @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 8pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Chicago Bulls @ Washington Wizards (Monday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

It used to be that when the Chicago Bulls would come to play the ‘Zards (or the Bullets, really), the games would actually mean something.

Now…they’re just the next team on the schedule…that will probably beat the Wizards.

That being said, they still have SOMETHING going for them…in fact, the best player in the history of NBA Jam…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkM0BE-Iu6M[/youtube]

Benny the Bull was better than Michael Jordan.

Probably a better golfer, too.

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Subway Fresh Fit 500 (Sunday 3pm from Phoenix live on FOX)

With the fellas on the Sprint Cup Series headed into Arizona, I’d take a second to remind everyone that Daytona 500 winner Trevor Bayne and company will have a few of their own “distractions” to deal with…

asu
asu
asu

I’ve had the water out there. There IS something in it.

7. Golf: WGC Accenture Match Play Championship (Wednesday 12pm, Thursday & Friday 2pm, Saturday 12pm, Sunday 9am live on Golf Channel; Saturday & Sunday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Marana, AZ); PGA Tour Mayakoba Golf Classic at Riviera Maya-Cancun (Thursday-Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Playa del Carmen, Mexico live on Golf Channel); LPGA Tour HSBC Women’s Champions (Thursday & Friday 11am, Saturday 10am, Sunday 2pm from Singapore live on Golf Channel)

This will be the only week all year that I give half a crap about Golf. Why? Because I get to fill out brackets! You could put together a Pokemon card tournament-if it had brackets, I’d fill them out.

I mean, I’m not going to WATCH the thing…holy hell does that sound terrible. But I’ll check at the end of the day to see how my brackets hold up. And I’ll of course pick  Chi Chi Rodriguez to win. He’s going to have to break through one of these weeks.

6. NHL: New York Rangers @ Washington Capitals (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS & NHL Network), Washington Capitals @ New York Islanders (Saturday 7pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet)

Meanwhile, Glenn Clark will be making the trip up I-95 to Philly to see the Philadelphia Flyers become JUST ANOTHER VICTIM for the Phoenix FREAKING Coyotes, who enter the game winners of seven in a row!

It’s just a shame the game isn’t in Arizona, cause I’d love to hear the Black Keys pump through the Wells Fargo Center…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfYLr3IIVkQ[/youtube]

5. Monster Jam (Friday-Sunday 1st Mariner Arena)

Monster Jam is one of those events that comes around all the time that I have no REAL idea what it is and if it’s sorta white trash but really cool or REALLY white trash and only sorta cool.

Either way, I THINK Grave Digger is pretty cool….right???

gravedigger

4. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 127-BJ Penn vs. Jon Fitch (Saturday 10pm from Sydney, AUS on Pay-Per-View)

After the last card (Anderson Silva vs. Vitor Belfort) and the next card (Jon “Bones” Jones vs. Mauricio “Shogun” Rua), I will admit that I’m not really all that upset that I’ll be missing this card while I’m in Indy.

But if I was a MMA writer/reporter headed Down Under, I know damn well I’d take a minute to seek out whoever Bliss N Eso are. Their Citizen Cope cover is pretty legit…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCIfpZp7YcA[/youtube]

3. College Lacrosse: Loyola @ Towson (Saturday 12pm from Unitas Stadium live on ABC2/ESPN3.com/AM1570 WNST); Rutgers @ UMBC (Saturday 1pm UMBC Stadium); Siena @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 1pm from Homewood Field live on ESPNU); Georgetown @ Maryland (Saturday 3pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU); Mary Washington @ Stevenson (Wednesday 3pm Caves Athletic Complex), Kean @ Stevenson (Saturday 1pm Caves Athletic Complex)

I don’t know about the rest of you, but when I see “Georgetown” and “Maryland” next to each other, I can really only think about Keith Booth and Joe Smith. Hoyas fans probably won’t be happy for the reminder…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-WoPhVNffA[/youtube]

I guess I have one other memory. It involves Lonny Baxter and the NCAA Tournament if I remember correctly…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nda5RartfAw[/youtube]

2. College Basketball: Florida State @ Maryland (Wednesday 9pm from Comcast Center live on ACC Network-WNUV 54 locally), Maryland @ North Carolina (Sunday 7:45pm from Chapel Hill, NC live on Comcast SportsNet-Fox Sports Net nationally); Delaware State @ Morgan State (Wednesday 7pm Hill Field House), Morgan State @ North Carolina A&T (Monday 7pm from Greensboro, NC live on ESPNU); Drexel @ Towson (Saturday 4pm Towson Center)

I hope the Terps beat the snot out of the Seminoles Wednesday night. But I will admit that FSU will always have at least a small place in my (and Brett Favre’s) heart(s)…

sterger

Jenn Sterger wore a cowboy hat to a football game in Tallahassee five years ago and became a household name.

What a great country we live in.

1. College Football: NFL Scouting Combine (Thursday-Monday from Indianapolis live on NFL Network)

5.2 million people watched the Scouting Combine from LucasOil Stadium last year.

Of those 5.2 million, not a single one tuned in to see how Rich Eisen did in the 40 yard dash. But he did it anyway, and almost beat Ravens DT Terrence Cody!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar5nlv6ZPX0[/youtube]

That might seem surprising, but consider this…if hundreds of college-aged GIRLS were to descend upon a football stadium and run around in the underwear, how many MORE people would be watching?

You know, especially if one of them was SI swimsuit model Kate Upton…

upton

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 31 January 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Friday Night Fights: Sergio Mora vs. Bryan Vera (Friday 9pm from Fort Worth, TX live on ESPN2); College Lacrosse Scrimmage: Loyola @ UMBC (Saturday 1pm UMBC Stadium); NHL: Montreal Canadiens @ Washington Capitals (Tuesday 7:30pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet),Washington Capitals @ Tampa Bay Lightning (Friday 7:30pm from Tampa Bay live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS & NHL Network), Pittsburgh Penguins @ Washington Capitals (Sunday 12:30pm from Verizon Center live on NBC)

10. Royal Comedy Tour feat. D.L. Hughley & Bruce Bruce (Saturday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena); Citizen Cope (Tuesday 7pm Recher Theatre); Chromeo (Saturday 8pm Sunday 7pm 9:30 Club); Robert Plant & North Mississippi All-Stars (Tuesday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Mike Epps (Friday 7:30pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Corey Harris (Thursday-Saturday 8pm & 10pm Blues Alley); Tillman Story” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday); Matisyahu “Live At Stubbs II” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Nothing in the world bothers me more than the fact that I’m missing Clarence Greenwood Tuesday night. I LOVE Citizen Cope…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFaVnSLKGBY[/youtube]

Robert Plant is Robert Plant. I believe you’ve heard of him…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVvgWHawlqY[/youtube]

I once was sitting in the front row of a Dave Matthews Band show in Atlanta where the North Mississippi All Stars opened. It was love at first sound…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjIt-IuLE5U[/youtube]

I don’t know how Matisyahu’s “Live at Stubbs II” will differ from the first one, but if it’s at all similar it will probably be pretty good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsFpUW48Tnc[/youtube]

9. The Chocolate Affair (Thursday 6pm M&T Bank Stadium)

I’ll admit that I’m not really much of a chocolate fan. That’s more my girlfriend’s thing. It’s probably good that she won’t be in attendance Thursday night-or she might seriously never come back.

I don’t really need a whole event to celebrate the chocolate I enjoy. I can hold my own “Chocolate Affair” over at Royal Farms any day leading up to Easter.

I just need a Snickers bar, some Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups and about a thousand of THESE…

eggs

8. Golf: PGA Tour Waste Management Phoenix Open (Thursday-Sunday 4pm from Scottsdale, AZ live on Golf Channel)

Look-golf is terrible and impossible to watch on TV or in person. Everyone knows that. It’s completely inarguable. It’s an awful game that no one should ever play and there’s ABSOLUTELY no reason why any human being would EVER watch the thing on TV. There’s less of a reason to watch in person.

Except for when they’re golfing at TPC Scottdale.

You see, the scene at the Phoenix Open…it’s not too bad…

blondes

chicks

gals

And it’s also the home of the 16th hole. It makes watching golf somehow seem LESS unbearable…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJHVTcnGzcI[/youtube]

7. Women’s College Basketball: NC State @ Maryland (Sunday 12pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

Sunday is a neat day. While there will be an ACTUAL Super Bowl being played in North Texas; there will be another Super Bowl being played in College Park.

You see, this matchup between the Terps and the Wolfpack is ABSOLUTELY the Super Bowl for an old friend…

debbie

I know the Terrapins already devoured Debbie Yow’s ‘Pack in football; but TRUST ME when I tell you she cares much more about winning this.

No one loves Women’s Basketball (for good reason) more than Debbie Yow.

The rise of the Terps under Brenda Frese might be what she is most proud of from her tenure at Maryland. She’d be more proud to get a win AGAINST Brenda Frese.

This might not mean so much to the casual Maryland fan-but if you’re in the “Debbie is the enemy” group, this one means the most to her.

6. High School Basketball: Perry Hall @ Franklin (Wednesday 6:30pm), Perry Hall @ Towson (Friday 7pm); Glen Burnie @ Meade (Friday 7pm)

I’m torn on Towson High School. On one side, I’ve had a number of interns (including current intern Timmy Hendrix) from Towson and they’ve always always been good.

On the flip side, of all of the Baltimore County public schools-I’ve tended to find that Towson kids can be amongst the most insufferable.

“Oh, Perry Hall? We don’t care about Perry Hall here. Michael Phelps went to Towson. We’re better than you.”

Jerks.

Of course, Towson High School also claims one of the all-time biggest sex symbols in Charm City history…

divine

5. NBA: Washington Wizards @ New Orleans Hornets (Tuesday 8pm from New Orleans live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Orlando Magic @ Washington Wizards (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Atlanta Hawks @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

At what point is it considered “cruel and unusual” to keep forcing the ‘Zards to go on the road? I mean, I enjoy the suffering of DC sports fans as much (probably more) than anyone-but this is crazy.

I’m not much of a NBA fan (unless of course we’re talking about the Phoenix Suns), but I do enjoy a good slam dunk. Rudy Gay authored one of those recently…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtSg_OwSsF0[/youtube]

Yep. That’s a fine slam dunk.

4. College Football: National Signing Day (Wednesday-coverage throughout the day on CBS College Sports & ESPNU); NFLPA Game (Saturday 2pm from San Antonio live on CBS College Sports)

You may remember the NFLPA Game as the former “Texas vs. The Nation” game.

I mean, I’m well aware that you don’t; I’m just making conversation. Ease off already.

National Signing Day is weird because you get really excited about players who may or may not ever make ANY impact at the college level.

Remember Penn State (later Towson)’s Antonio Logan-El spurning Glorida Friedgen at the ESPNZone in the Inner Harbor live on ESPNews? Not so pissed off about that anymore, are we?

loganel

Attention Nittany Lions fans (including WNST’s own Ashley Bishoff and my cousin Jeff Clark-both of whom I still tolerate despite their poor school choice): YOU DESERVED THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE.

That is all.

3. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 126-Anderson Silva vs. Vitor Belfort (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on Pay-Per-View)

My new favorite fighter Jon “Bones” Jones (brother of Ravens DT Arthur Jones) is on the card Saturday night. That will about explain who I’ll be rooting for.

Since we’re all here talking MMA, it’s been awhile since I posted a picture of Gina Carano. Might as well change that now…

carano

2. College Basketball: Duke @ Maryland (Wednesday 9pm from Comcast Center live on ESPN), Wake Forest @ Maryland (Saturday 1pm from Comcast Center live on ACC Network-WNUV 54 in Charm City); Georgia State @ Towson (Saturday 4pm Towson Center); Binghamton @ UMBC (Thursday 7:30pm RAC Arena)

This is going to come as a surprise to a lot of folks, but I don’t care for Coach K or the Blue Devils.

In fact, I think four particular future Mrs. Glenn Clark’s happen to explain it best…

duke

1. NFL: Super Bowl XLV-Green Bay Packers vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (Sunday 6:30pm from Arlington, TX live on FOX), WNST Super Bowl XLV Coverage (Tuesday-Friday 6am & 2pm from Dallas live on AM1570 & WNST.net)

PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS PACKERS

Understood?

And if those A-holes from the Steel City win, we all gather together for tequila shots Monday morning.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 17 January 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Maryland State Cheer & Dance Championship (Saturday 1st Mariner Arena); Women’s College Basketball: Maryland @ Virginia (Friday 8:30pm from Charlottesville live on Comcast SportsNet), North Carolina @ Maryland (Sunday 5pm from Comcast Center live on ESPN2); NBA: Washington Wizards @ Milwaukee Bucks (Wednesday 8pm from Milwaukee live on Comcast SportsNet), Phoenix Suns @ Washington Wizards (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Boston Celtics @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ New York Knicks (Monday 7:30pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet); Golf: PGA Tour Bob Hope Classic (Wednesday-Friday 3pm, Saturday & Sunday 4pm from La Quinta, CA live on Golf Channel), Champions Tour Mitsubishi Electric Championship at Hualalai (Friday 6:30pm, Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm from Kaupulehu-Kona, HI live on Golf Channel); High School Basketball: Kenwood @ Perry Hall (Wednesday 6:30pm), Basketball Academy-including Perry Hall vs. Archbishop Spalding & Perry Hall vs. Havre de Grace plus Poly, Woodlawn, Western, Milford Mill, Parkville, Patterson, City, Douglass, Aberdeen, Owings Mills, Lake Clifton (Thursday-Saturday Coppin State Physical Education Complex)

10. Avenged Sevenfold/Stone Sour (Sunday 6:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Chrisette Michelle (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live); Gary Puckett & The Union Gap (Wednesday & Thursday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); B-52′s (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club); Lyle Lovett (Tuesday, Wednesday, Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere)

I’m not really that much of an A7X fan, but I will admit that I REALLY dig Corey Taylor and Stone Sour…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIzDsGyxsQM[/youtube]

Make fun of me all you want. I dig Gary Puckett…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=98QH7LdPeO0[/youtube]

When I was a kid, I had no idea if the B-52′s were actually any good or if they were just sorta weird. As an adult, I’ve realized it’s both…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDZy6-fMCw4[/youtube]

There isn’t much I would enjoy about a Lyle Lovett show. But “If I Had A Boat” would be something…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-_W18CWypE[/youtube]

9. Baltimore Restaurant Week (Friday-Monday throughout Charm City), Baltimore County Restaurant Week (Tuesday-Monday throughout Baltimore County)

Another fat guy holiday?

Who knew Thanksgiving would come twice for us this year?!?!?

My favorite spot on the list might be a little joint in Little Italy Robert McClintock immortalized (and apparently Lee Smith’s favorite joint in Charm City)…

sabatinos

8. Boxing: Evander Holyfield vs. Sherman Williams (Saturday 9pm from White Sulphur Springs, WV live on Pay-Per-View); Mixed Martial Arts-UFC Fight Night: Fight For The Troops 2 (Saturday 9pm from Fort Hood, TX live on SpikeTV)

Holy hell Evander Holyfield is still fighting?!?!? Jamie Moyer thinks Evander Holyfield is old!

If Evander Holyfield managers to beat “Ask” Sherman Williams, I think I know who he should fight next (Language NSFW)…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIiPTTwEJJQ[/youtube]

7. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Philadelphia Flyers (Tuesday 7pm from Philadelphia live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ New York Islanders (Thursday 7pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ Toronto Maple Leafs (Saturday 7pm from Toronto live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS and NHL Network), New York Rangers @ Washington Capitals (Monday 7:30pm from Verizon Center live on VERSUS)

I don’t care about Caps hockey, but I like funny videos. Here’s a funny video of a Pittsburgh Penguins fan from the Winter Classic this year…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNXddsqLjq0[/youtube]

Yep. That was funny.

6. College Football: East West Shrine Game (Saturday 4pm from Orlando live on NFL Network)

Amongst the players in the East West Shrine Game is former Terrapins RB Da’Rel Scott. Or as he likes to call himself, a man whose spot was once blown up by Glenn Clark…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7mJNNAvNuw[/youtube]

I thought I needed to carry two phones at one point. Life can be pretty tough when Camille Rowe is always trying to blow up your spot…

crowe
(Thanks Busted Coverage!)

5. Soccer: Chile @ Team USA (Saturday 10pm from Carson, CA live on ESPN3.com); MISL: Milwaukee Wave @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena)

I’m not sure about this. I’m as patriotic as they come, so I’d always pull for the Red, White & Blue.

BUT…Chile happens to share a name with the restaurant that gave us Chicken Crispers…

crispers

4. US Lacrosse National Convention (Friday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

Or as local marijuana dealers are calling it, Christmas Season Part 2.

Seriously, how much visine is necessary at a lacrosse convention?!?!? And has there ever been a bigger gathering of folks who listen to Dave Matthews Band and Phish???

Wait a second…I love Dave Matthews Band and Phish…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMiyN3Gxwts[/youtube]

Okay, someone get me a ticket…

3. NFL Playoffs: NFC Championship Game-Green Bay Packers @ Chicago Bears (Sunday 3pm from Chicago live on FOX), AFC Championship Game-New York Jets @ Pittsburgh Steelers (Sunday 6:30pm from Pittsburgh live on CBS)

Well clearly this was GOING to be Number 1…right up until the 3rd quarter of the Ravens’ game at Heinz Field Saturday night. Then everything went to hell.

Like I need to remind you.

Now, I’d be open to other ideas for Saturday if you’ve got something better for me to do than watch football. Seriously. There’s no reason why I have to watch these games, especially if it involves having to watch those a-holes in the Steel City earn another Super Bowl berth.

My girlfriend wants me to go to the Horse World Expo with her at the Timonium Fairgrounds. I’ve never had even HALF an ounce of interest in it, but I think I’m going to go.

Or maybe I’ll just sit around at home in my underwear and play Wheel of Fortune on Facebook.

I just don’t want to think about it. It’s too painful.

2. Tennis: Australian Open (Tuesday 12am & 9pm, Wednesday & Thursday 11pm, Friday & Saturday 9pm, Sunday 7pm, Monday 9pm live on ESPN2; Tuesday-Friday 8am, Saturday 1pm, Sunday & Monday 8am live on Tennis Channel. All action from Melbourne, AUS)

In breaking news from Down Under, Maria Sharapova has a new line of tennis wear that she wants you to see…

sharapova
(Thanks again Busted Coverage. Solid week for you.)

Look, I’m personally just as interested in what’s going on with Mardy Fish and  Juan Martin Del Potro’s comeback attempt as I am in Maria Sharapova.

But…ummm….look at that again. What the hell else could possibly matter in the world?

1. College Basketball: Virginia Tech @ Maryland (Thursday 9pm from Comcast Center live on ESPN2), Clemson @ Maryland (Saturday 2:30pm from Comcast Center live on Raycom Sports-WNUV 54 in Charm City); Morgan State @ UMES (Monday 7:30pm Hytche Athletic Center); Coppin State @ UMES (Saturday 4pm Hytche Athletic Center); William & Mary @ Towson (Wednesday 7pm Towson Center), Virginia Commonwealth @ Towson (Monday 7pm Towson Center); Manhattan @ Loyola (Thursday 8pm Reitz Arena)

Here are two schools for which my level of dislike is TOTALLY underrated.

For as much as I like Malcolm Delaney, I can’t freaking STAND the Hokies. So why is it that I like everything about this picture?!?!?!?!

turkeyleg

And my dislike towards Clemson dates at LEAST as far back as my 12th grade journalism teacher Ms. Matasofsky…who LOVED the Tigers. It was a constant source of contention between us. I couldn’t ever understand why she didn’t like the Hangman t-shirt I wore at least once a week…

clemson

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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