I remember back to 1991 when the Rangers recalled then 19 year old Ivan Rodriguez to the big leagues.  Pudge was an obvious phenom brought to the big leagues for his glovework.  He gunned down would-be basestealers from his knees and picked off runners at first.  Anything he did with the bat was a bonus.

Well, 19 years and over 2700 hits later Pudge is still plugging along.   The Washington Nationals signed Rodriguez to tutor their young catchers and help guide a young pitching staff.  Anything he gives them with the bat is a bonus.  And quite a bonus it is.  The now 38 yo Pudge is hitting .365 through his first 24 games as a National.  The upstart Nats are a surprising 18-14 and just 1.5 games behind the defending NL Chmp Phillies in the NL East.

In an interesting contrast the Cubs recalled 20 year old shortstop Starlin Castro from AA on Friday.  They sang the same tune as the Rangers 19 years ago, stating that Castro was brought up to solidify the defense and anything he does with the bat is a bonus.  Well, the kid started off with a bang; hitting a 3-run bomb in his first at bat and a 3-run triple later in the same game.  Tonight, the Cubs lost 4-2 to Florida in Castro’s first game at Wrigley.  The star-crossed Starlin made 3 errors, and another bad throw that could’ve been an error, leading directly to Marlins’ runs.  Here’s hoping it was just a case of the jitters and Castro can enjoy the same type of staying power as future Hall of Famer Ivan Rodriguez.

If you were to ask a Baltimore Orioles fan who Lou Montanez is, a vast majority of them would say, “Lou who?” If you followed up by saying, “Montanez won the Triple Crown in 2008 at Double-A and went on to hit a home run in his first official major league at bat,” their response would be, “why in the hell is he not on the club?”

The unfortunate answer to that is bad luck.

As a senior in high school, Lou Montanez had the appearance of a future star. The young 18-year-old phenom was drafted third overall by the Chicago Cubs in 2000. To go along with the third overall pick, Montanez got a very sizeable signing bonus ($2.75 million).

The Cubs’ plan for Montanez was to start him out at rookie ball and slowly have him make his progression to the major league level. Unfortunately for Montanez, the dream of playing in Wrigley Field never happened, and Montanez would not make his major league debut until late in the 2008 season with the Baltimore Orioles.

During his time with the Cubs, Montanez slowly climbed his way up the ranks. He did not reach Triple-A until 2006, and struggled with his batting, hitting .224 over 81 games. Ultimately, the honeymoon between Montanez and the Cubs was cut short in 2006 after the Cubs chose not to resign him.

On Jan. 5, 2007, Montanez signed a minor league contract with the Baltimore Orioles. Immediately, Montanez was assigned to the Bowie Baysox, Baltimore’s Double-A affiliate.

In his first 31 games for Bowie, Montanez hit .339, before being bumped up to Norfolk. Unfortunately for Montanez, the numbers did not carry over; he ended the 2007 season hitting .259 with seven home runs in 69 games at Norfolk.

The following season Montanez started the year back at Bowie, and got off to another fast start with the Baysox. In 116 games Montanez hit .335, 26 home runs, and 97 RBI, and went on to win the Eastern League Triple Crown. Montanez was than later called up to the Orioles in August of 2008, skipping Triple-A in the process.

Montanez’s major league debut for the Orioles came on August 5, 2008, however Montanez’s first major league at-bat was not until the August 6, 2008. Lou went on to do the improbable and hit a home run in his first major league at-bat.

This made Montanez only the second Oriole to hit a home run in his first major league at-bat, with Buster Narum accomplishing the feat in 1963.

The early success continued for Montanez, as he finished the season hitting .295 with three home runs in 38 games for the O’s.

Montanez started off the 2009 season at Norfolk before being called up again in April. However, his stay with the Orioles did not last long due to the fact that Montanez broke his wrist, and did not return to the Orioles in 2009.

At the age of 28, Montanez entered his third spring with the Orioles in 2010. He entered today’s spring training game against the Tigers with a .310 average. Montanez increased his average to .326, going 2-4 with a triple and three RBI.

The 2010 season will likely see Montanez start out at Norfolk again due to a log jam in the outfield. Luckily for the Orioles, you can never have too many outfielders. Just as every season goes for Montanez, he will likely get an opportunity at some point in time, barring an injury or trade.

As a reminder, we don’t include the Ravens in this. The Ravens get their own “Tuesday Top 7″ every week, so we’ll worry about them then.

You deserve props:

1-Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson, Frank Gore, Michael Turner, Drew Brees and Marques Colston, and Kurt Warner

Elsewhere in the NFL Sunday, ummm…….Jeff Reed Sucks.

HAHAHAHAHA! STEELERS SUCK! YOUR KICKER SUCKS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Ehh, it’s Week 2. Let me be excited. You guys always ruin everything for me.

2-Floyd Mayweather

Not that anyone was surprised. With no offense to you Juan Manuel Marquez, the fact that your trip to Las Vegas didn’t end THIS way should probably be enough to make you feel like the whole thing wasn’t a wash……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuynfY6LTRw[/youtube]

3-Jason Bay, JD Drew and Clay Buchholz

I swear to God you would have been hard pressed finding 5 people in the city of Baltimore who would have gone to see the Orioles play the Red Sox today, no matter circumstances. Thanks again to the fans of the city of Boston, who came in thousands to support our city. You guys are the worst human beings of all time, but we need your money. Since you don’t come back again this season, I hope you drown in your chowder.

(Editor’s note: Apparently I’m not supposed to say that. Or feel that way. WTF? Is this a blog or a damn Public Service Announcement?)

4-Michal Neuvirth

PRESEASON HOCKEY, WOO!

Did you know that Neuvirth (a Capitals goalie prospect) is from the Czech Republic? Did you also know that Megan Fox appeared in a recent issue of the Czech Republic’s version of “Esquire”? Crap, I lost you at Megan Fox, didn’t I? Okay…..

5-Vitor Belfort and Josh Koscheck

I will admit this. I didn’t watch UFC 103 Saturday night. Not because I’m not a manly dude, but because I was at a Dave Matthews Band concert. Oh, crap.

Anyway, here’s video of Brock Lesnar training for something. I don’t know what it is, but I’m gonna guess saving the world????

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Evyox0Rsu8[/youtube]

6-Kip Wells, David Price, Yovani Gallardo, Kevin Correia, Ian Snell, Ubaldo Jimenez, Ronnie Belliard, Matt Garza, CC Sabathia, Scott Kazmir, Brett Anderson, Brian Duensing, Luke Hochevar and John Buck

Elsewhere in baseball, Cubs OF Milton Bradley was suspended the rest of the season for “conduct detrimental to the team.”

Namely…..trying to win?

If that’s true, the O’s should probably just go ahead and not bother…..

7-Mark Martin and Scott Dixon

I would tell you more about NASCAR or IRL, but you and I both know we don’t give a crap about any of this. So I’m gonna stretch here. I was in the locker room at 1 Winning Drive one day last week, and Terrell Suggs had “Fast and Furious” playing in his locker. I’m not sure how or if that movie had anything to do with racing, but Jordana Brewster was in it, and I can now post a picture of her and forget that we were ever talking about racing…..

8-Jeremy Avery, Evan Royster, Ty Jones, Jahvid Best, Dane Sanzenbacher, Landry Jones, Russell Wilson and CJ Spiller

Elsewhere in College Football this weekend, the University of Minnesota (who never could figure out a way to slow down Jahvid Best), announced that they will be doing SOMETHING to curb excessive drinking by students who attend games. I’d tell you more about what they were doing, but I would have had to have read the entire AP story.

I do know that this almost HAS to be the first time in the history of the Associated Press that the words “get blirzed” had news worthiness. But what does “get blitzed” mean, anyway? Not something I’m familiar with……

9-The Czech Republic and Spain

I’m pretty sure no one in the world was watching the Davis Cup this weekend, but…..it happened? The Czechs and Spaniards will now meet in the final.

To celebrate, I Google Image searched “Spain Sexy.” We can all now celebrate appropriately.

10-Steve Sarkisian

Relax USC, you still have this……

11-30 Rock

Did I watch the Emmy’s? No, but I DVR’ed them so I could watch later why the hell would I watch that crap?

The point remains. If you don’t think Tina Fey is sexy/awesome, get bent Steve.

12-Sergio Kindle

Is Taylor Potts still alive?????

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSsLkBG_64Y[/youtube]

Somewhere right now, none of these people are amused…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C69SNL5IdT4[/youtube]

13-Female Sports Fans

I always wondered how Nestor Aparicio made it work with a life-long Red Sox fan. I always imagined that would be the breaking point for me. But I had a realization this weekend. I was watching Sunday Night Football with some friends, including one who is a lifelong Dallas Cowboys fan. This presented a unique scenario, as I have REGULARLY been the person who told everyone else to shut up while I was watching some sort of sporting event. But this time, I felt myself trying to have a conversation while my friend the Cowboys fan (who just so happens to be a LOVELY young lady) was wholeheartedly uninterested in ANYTHING I might have to say. And the only word I could use to explain it would be…….

Sexy.

Hey, I don’t give a half a crap about the Cowboys, but I couldn’t help but find such attention to football hot.

But maybe it’s just me.

14-Stoplights

You know Barry brought to the Glenn Clark compound Sunday afternoon? How do these delicious treats do you?

You might not think that a Ritz Cracker, McDonald’s pickle, aged cheddar cheese, and pepperoni sounds that good; but they went DELICIOUSLY with the 187 Blue Moons we downed until Ray Lewis made our day complete.

15-“Alligator Pie” by Dave Matthews Band

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufSi-Jvn1T4[/youtube]

I hadn’t seen Dave Matthews Band in 5 years until Saturday night. Okay, maybe 2 years. Or maybe I saw them last summer. Or last week. Seriously, you guys ask too many freaking questions. Can’t you just let me live my damn life? I was gonna tell you so much funny stuff about Alligator Pie and the show Saturday night-but instead-get bent. I do so much for you people.

You got lucky:

1-Anyone who wants Glenn Clark to be wrong

I got exactly ONE of the 4 games I picked Friday right. To make that worse, I picked the Patriots. And the Steelers. And the Packers. And the Browns (I think). And the Eagles. And the Panthers. And the Chiefs-I think. And the Titans. Jesus.

But here was my face just seconds after I found out Maryland had fallen to Middle Tennessee State……

More on the location of the picture later.

2-Rex Ryan and Chad Ochocinco

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5h1Xxk3VS_E[/youtube]

Note to the Packers fans who gave the middle finger while Chad Ochocinco did his Lambeau Leap-I get that you were wholly embarrassed by the fact that the Bengals came to Green Bay and kicked your ass; but this is now the ONLY way you will be remembered in the future.

3-Anyone who has ever wanted to officiate a NBA game

I think they should go with her personally…..

4-Ryan Lochte

This guy was named Swimmer of the Year by USA Swimming.

Yeah, there’s probably no one else who was more deserving of that award at all……

Nah.

5-Everyone who WASN’T affected by the floods in Dundalk

Thanks to The Sun for the picture. Props to everyone in Dundalk for avoiding violence and looting during this. For your suffering, you get the Poop Plant this year. Congratulations.

6-Washington Redskins fans

I didn’t realize Ray Bachman had switched allegiances…..

Your team beat the Rams 9-7. And what’s worse, FOX is forced to show the game in our market; meaning we missed whatever ACTUAL NFL games might have been being played at the same time.

7-Khloe Kardashian

It’s not that Khloe Kardashian is unattractive. She’s lovely, really.

But, do you think Lamar Odom was aware that she had a sister named Kourtney?

Or a sister named Kim?

I mean, they’re on TV……they have like 100 shows. The one used to date Reggie Bush. And Ray-J. Well, maybe she wasn’t dating Ray-J, but they seemed awfully comfortable together in this one movie I saw. Anyway, what was I talking about? Eh, who cares, there were boobs above.

You’re a zero……

East Philadelphia/South Jersey

Usually, I get behind a place that has a store like this…..

But if I want 12 beers, and don’t want to pay 30 bucks for them; I don’t want to have to go back to Delaware to do it. New Jersey is quite possibly the WORST place of all time; and the fact that I had to drive WEST off of 95 to get to the EAST part of town is easily the strangest thing I have ever experienced ever. Sell your beer at a liquor store. Charge 8 bucks for a 6 pack of something decent. Not the 15 they tried charging me at a diner.

And Camden, NJ-I’m not sure how they get people out of Merriweather Post Pavilion so easily, but I would suggest maybe you consider learning how to do the same thing. The 2 and a half hours I spent sitting outside the Susquehanna Bank Center were about as pleasant as the rest of your miserable state’s existence. I hope Maryland beats Rutgers by 80 next week.

(Editor’s note: I know they won’t.)

-G

The Yankees once again roll out of Baltimore on a winning streak and this time they’re take 30,000 Cesar Izturis t-shirts with them up the Jersey Turnpike.  Mark Teixeira’s reception in Baltimore wasn’t nearly as hostile this time around, mostly because any O’s fan with half a brain sold their tickets on Ebay months ago.  I went to an O’s/MFYs game in May and lustily booed Tex.  I didn’t boo him for turning down the Orioles to sign with the Yankees.  I booed him because he said that he wore a Yankee cap to Memorial Stadium and Mattingly was his favorite player.

I don’t blame Tex or think he’s the devil for signing with the Yanks.  The Orioles were never serious about signing him and made nothing more than a token offer for his services.  Yes, $140 million is a lot of money, but it’s a lot easier to offer it when you know it’s $40 million below the high bidder.   We also know it was a token offer because it’s not as if that $140 million is burning a hole in Andy MacPhail’s wallet.  After Tex rejected the offer Andy went out and signed Ty Wiggington to a $6 million two year deal.  I guess that means the Orioles have $134 million to spend on free agents this off-season.  That should be more than enough to add Chone Figgins and Matt Holliday to the lineup.  That would constitute buying the bats.   I won’t hold my breath.

On a brighter note, Aaron Boone returned to the Majors today with the Houston Astros just 5 months after open heart surgery.  Boone had surgery in late March to correct an exisiting heart ailment that had recently worsened.  Boone, who went 0-3 today against the Cubs, certainly serves as an inspiration and a great example of the progress that can be made with hard work and dedication.  My Father had a triple bypass a few weeks ago and is recovering nicely, while dealing with an extreme amount of pain and discomfort.  To think that Boone is playing in the Big Leagues just months after heart surgery is truly remarkable and an example of all that can be good about America’s Pastime.  I hope Boone has a productive  month of September and a healthy future.

You get props……

1-Brian Roberts, John Danks, and Nolan Reimold

In other Orioles news, I was sitting at the Maryland football scrimmage Sunday when I found out that Adam Jones had left the game against the White Sox early. WNST’s Luke Jones asked me “Why?” and I responded “Because he had something better to do?”

If you don’t think that’s funny; you take yourself way too seriously. I’m looking at you, Melewski. Looking forward to MASN’s coverage of Maryland football this season. Also, the Maryland Cornhole Cup was rescheduled…..so Team Gator Bites has another chance to dominate. September 19th pal. You and I can run through the competition in Annapolis.

2-Roger Federer and Elena Dementieva

Apparently this girl won a tennis tournament this weekend………

……..like it matters.

3-Shaun Hill and Derek Anderson

Maybe former Terps QB Shaun Hill should actually be on the “Lucky” list seeing as how he didn’t even have to PLAY and he locked up the starting QB job with the 49ers.

Of course, starting QB for the 49ers at this point has about as much prestige as being the starting QB for Glen Burnie High School.

That’s right Forrester; the Gophers suck.

Also, Derek Anderson may well have taken a step to securing the Browns’ starting QB job…..by somehow being not quite as awful as this human being……

4-David Pauley, Ryohei Tanaka, Brandon Waring and Joel Palanco

Elsewhere in Orioles minor league action this weekend; the Aberdeen Ironbirds were no-hit Sunday by Brooklyn’s Brandon Moore.

Which goes to show you that this organization is REALLY committed to getting you prepared for what life is going to be like once you come to Baltimore…….

5-Michelle Wie, Ryan Moore and Mike Reid

I want to thank WNST.net blogger BJ Appel, former Harford Community College golf standout Chris Appel, and their lovely family for hosting our fantasy football draft Saturday night. They supplied Gatorade, crabs, cookie bars, and I added orange drink and Doritos to the party. It couldn’t have been lovelier.

But it was slightly awkward when we walked downstairs and Chris was watching something that is apparently called “The Solheim Cup.”

I’m not entirely certain of what “The Solheim Cup” is, but I do know that no matter how many participants in the event looked like this……

…..this was not event created with heterosexual men in mind.

6-Kyle Busch and Dario Franchitti

Kyle Busch swept the NASCAR races at Bristol this season; which made Rex Snider interested………and no one else.

Speaking of sports no one is watching, my friend Dave Carey (formerly of the Baltimore Examiner) passed along this WNBA video game commercial he saw recently…….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FGI7R0u3TQ[/youtube]

…..which is good because I DO like layups, defense, jump shots, and layups!

7-Scott Feldman, Jack Cust, Michael Cuddyer, Chris Carpenter, Ryan Garko, Carlos Pena, Kevin Youkilis, Charlie Haeger, Roy Oswalt, Clayton Richard, Ryan Raburn and Hideki Matsui

Elsewhere in the world of baseball, Jason Giambi will reportedly join the Colorado Rockies.

Remember when SI called Giambi “the new face of baseball?”

I legitimately believe Otis Nixon would have been a better nominee for the award…..

(Editor’s note: Alex Cole may have been the unluckiest man in baseball card history.)

8-Jozy Altidore and Wayne Rooney

If you think I knew that the Premier League had begun, you’d be wrong. But I do know that since losing the UEFA Champions League to Fox; ESPN has invested a great deal in all sorts of other soccer. I’m all for this of course; as there’s nothing better than waking up after an evening of 13-15 hundred Clipper City Ales and having live sports on TV.

Of course, I guess whenever you wake up at 2pm there’s normally live sports on TV; but Premier League soccer is about 1,000,000,000,000,000 times better than waking up to Tom Davis and Phil Wood taking about the Nationals on my TV.

“Tom, let’s talk about the 1952 World Series”

Christ. Melewski and these guys deserve each other. I’m not completely certain, but I think they should re-name MASN “OWGHNIWPRGACAN” (Old White Guys Have No Idea What People Really Give A Crap About Network.)

9-Allyson Felix, Sanya Richards, Debbie Dunn and Lashinda Demus; Angelo Taylor, Jeremy Wariner, Kerron Clement and LaShawn Merritt and Brittney Reese

In other Track and Field news……..Usain Bolt is really fast?

Did Usain Bolt REALLY get a piece of the Berlin Wall? I’ve officially found a gift more useless than the copy of David Cassidy’s greatest hits I gave Josiah Potter for his 16th birthday.

Also, did we ever figure out if that one track chick was a dude or not? This has been the most distressing problem I’ve faced since I ran out of clean underwear last week and didn’t have time to do laundry before having to go back to Training Camp.

You expect me to let you know how I solved this problem; but I’m pretty sure you already know.

10-Tim Tebow

I’m not REALLY impressed by the fact that Florida was selected preseason number 1 in the AP poll; I’m just contractually obligated to remind you of how great Tim Tebow is at least once a blog.

Look man, the first time you go to the Philippines and perform circumcisions; I’ll blog about you. In the meantime, have another sip of your Zima and remember that Lord Tebow is greater than you.

11-McDaniel College

Successfully hosted roughly 100,000 Ravens fans this year during Training Camp. Maybe the most remarkable statistic is that I only nearly fought with ONE member of the S.A.F.E. management team this year.

It’s not that I’m suggesting that Training Camp should move from Westminster. But if it were to, maybe THIS could be an acceptable alternative?

12-Luke Ramirez and Andy Rios, Nicholas Smisek and Steven Cardone

I kinda think the whole Little League World Series concept is weird. But I know that if I were to start a Little League team, Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez would be my first pick…..

And while we’re here; let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vr5lHZQz-Z4[/youtube]

How can baseball be so awful yet The Sandlot be the greatest movie of all time???

13-Caleb Porzel and Eric Franklin

I couldn’t help but notice how much better the running backs were than the quarterbacks at Sunday’s Maryland Football Scrimmage.

That may or may not be a good thing. But Porzel looks like he’s going to be special.

I do have one suggestion for the Terps’ freshman running back. No matter how great you get, stay away from this woman….

Look man, I know. I’ve lost hours on that ass myself, and I’ve never even met her. But it has ruined greater men. Just trust me.

14-Third Eye Blind

I picked up a copy of their new CD “Ursa Major”, selected Track 4 and permanently selected “repeat”……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YDuvNnu1MM[/youtube]

I dare you to tell me about why you like Weezer. Christ.

15-The K-Series and Magic Hat Wacko

It is really difficult for me to explain what my Friday night was like. But I CAN tell you that it involved a few hundred Wackos and a house where they had an industrial sized oven on the back patio. I affectionately referred to it as “The K Series.”

Apparently I was at a house in Jarrettsville……which may or may not actually be in America. An ex of mine (The Artist Formerly Known as the Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet?) had a party at a house that was so bizarre it isn’t even possible for me to really capture the awesomeness of the place.

It had a beach.
It had a strange greenhouse structure.
It had wires hanging everywhere.
It had a random man holding an umbrella.

If this was your house, please don’t be offended. I really found your place to be very awesome. And really freaking weird.

You got lucky…….

1-Eric Bruntlett

Yeah, cause sometimes THIS just happens…….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niz0VPpSxok[/youtube]

This would be like me accidentally wandering into Mother’s in Federal Hill and walking out with this…..

Speaking of which, have you heard that the guy who made “The Wrestler” is making a movie in which Mila Kunis has “aggressive sex” with Natalie Portman?

I’m not a Bill Simmons fan at all; but I’m pretty sure after seeing this movie, I will be able to write the sequel to “Now I Can Die In Peace.”

2-Anyone who can punt at the new Texas Stadium

LOLOLOLOLOL!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjx6vsR71sg[/youtube]

I love the fact that Jerry Jones is now failing at everything he does. Sorta like his scheduling for the final game in the OTHER Texas Stadium……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YX3gYiQ3tww[/youtube]

The Cowboys are just awful. They and the Redskins deserve each other. Is there any rivalry in the world that features such passion between two teams despite the fact that NO ONE outside the two cities gives a crap about either of them?

3-Loyola College Students

I have no idea who won the showdown between Michael Phelps and Shaquille O’Neal Sunday night; mostly because I chose to go to a real college (Maryland) instead of being a Greyhound. But Shaquille O’Neal is so awesome that even he can make Michael Phelps interesting enough to be worth watching. Plus, he did this…….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OWw2PHQEWTg[/youtube]

4-Ricketts Family

I have a suggestion, Ricketts family. Want to make the Cubs kick ass again? Re-sign this man…..

“ROWENGARTNER!”
“He knows my name!”

5-Juan Diaz and Andre Berto

Just when Chad Ochocinco was starting to seem cool again…….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3eN0KwXcMU[/youtube]

……he had to go and turn into an ass again. I hope Andre Berto pounds him to within an inch of his life.

Meanwhile, Diaz won a questionable decision over Paulie Malignaggi in Houston. After the fight, he said some NSFW things like “boxing is full of sh*t” and “nobody watches boxing anymore because of sh*t like this.”

Which at least goes to show that he understands EXACTLY what’s going on currently in his sport.

6-Brett Favre

Who’s more popular in the North/Midwest? Favre……or Buscemi?

(Editor’s Note: Language NSFW. Unless you work at Perry Hall High School. Speaking of which, TLDGOTFOTP spends her first day as a teacher at Perry Hall Middle School tomorrow. I told her not to be worried because it’s safer to know that some of the kids are carrying guns.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeNmSy2yr4c[/youtube]

7-Anyone who has insurance for their Fantasy Football team

Look man, I’m a little worried about the long-term health of my 3rd round pick (Kurt Warner) myself; especially seeing as how I also selected Larry Fitzgerald and Steve Breaston…….but INSURANCE?

(Editor’s note: Also, if you’re the guy who Skypes into a Fantasy Football Draft and is COMPLETELY unprepared, it might be time to find a new league. Drafting Joe Flacco will only salvage you so much in my mind.)

You’re a zero……..

Anyone (like me) who never had the privilege of eating an ice cream bar with Hulk Hogan on it

As I was stealing an internet stream of Summerslam Sunday night (Jeff Hardy leaping off a ladder to drive CM Punk through the announce table? Yes please.), it came to my attention that there was once an ice cream bar that featured the Hulkster right there on the cookie. I don’t know how this ever happened……but I am good and embarrassed.

As far as the greatest inventions of all time are concerned; I know electricity and the light bulb were cool, and sliced bread has its place, but there is no doubt that this is Number 1……with a bullet.

(Editor’s note: Here’s the video of Hardy pummeling Punk. I’m sure it’ll be up for at least 10 minutes or so…..)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnwycsLzMjI[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983……

-G

I wasn’t overly impressed by Chris Tillman last night; but it was just one start. He was good, he made a few mistakes, and he showed a few positive signs.says Aubrey Huff ended skid with big hit in win

A Brad Bergesen win today would go a long way to keep some positive feelings alive in the Orioles’ clubhouse.

Let’s see what everyone else has to say….

Best of Wednesday’s WNST Blogs:

Nestor Aparicio

Luke Jones says Demetrius Williams had knee stretched out on sidelines during afternoon practice

Nestor Aparicio says Phillies probably not potential suitor for Sherrill

Bob Haynie says Jones helped Tillman offensively and defensively

Nestor Aparicio says long negotiating over contracts like Oher’s ‘necessary evil’

Keith Melchior gives Trembley ‘D’ grade

ORIOLES:says Tillman didn’t factor in decision, but Birds beat Royals anyway

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin

The Official Site provides numerical evidence of win

The Official Site’s Brian Eller says Bergesen takes hill in finale for Birds today against Hochevar, KC

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says torn labrum lands Rich Hill on DL

Royals Official Site’s Dick Kaegel says Greinke left with lead, but bullpen couldn’t hold it as O’s beat Royals

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Tillman gave up 3 homers, went just 4 2/3 innings; but Birds won debut

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Angels, Dodgers considered ‘most likely’ possible trade destinations for Sherrill

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Tillman ‘kept his composure’ after early struggles

Examiner Jay Trucker says Trembley went with Zaun behind plate instead of Wieters in Tillman’s debut

The AP says Jones homered, drove in 3 for Birds in win

Carroll County Times’ Josh Land says nearly 20,000 saw Birds beat Royals at Camden Yardssays Trembley wasn’t ‘aware’ Hill had torn labrum

Carroll County Times’ Josh Land

The AP says Hill told reporters tear went back to time with Cubs

Kansas City Star’s Bob Dutton says Robinson Tejeda, John Bale can’t seal job for Royals out of bullpen

ORIOLES MINOR LEAGUES:says Fiorentino hero as Tides rallied to beat Indianapolis

Norfolk Tides Official Site

Bowie Baysox Official Site says Tanaka winner as Baysox topped Connecticut

Frederick Keys Official Site says Beato lead way as Keys shut out Salem

Delmarva Shorebirds Official Site says Bordes loser as Delmarva swept by Asheville in Game 2

Delmarva Shorebirds Official Site says Elvin Polanco homered, but Shorebirds lost to Asheville in Game 1

Aberdeen Ironbirds Official Site says Tyler Sexton loser as Ironbirds shut out by Hudson Valley

Bluefield Orioles Official Site says Helmick, Flacco homered; but Orioles lost to Princeton

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Alberto Castillo earned win in relief for Tides over Indians

Frederick News-Post’s Stan Goldberg says Matt Angle picked up game winning RBI as Keys topped Red Sox

Frederick News-Post’s Greg Swatek says pro wrestler King Kong Bundy made appearance for Keys at Harry Grove Stadium

Virginian-Pilot’s Rainer Sabin says organization concerned with (time) length of Arrieta’s starts

RAVENS:says Oher agrees to 5 year contract

The Official Site’s Mike Duffy

The Official Site’s Mike Duffy says Davon Drew, Lamar Divens back to practice, off PUP list

The Official Site’s Mike Duffy says Justin Harper star of Wednesday’s Training Camp practices

The Official Site says Harbaugh doesn’t think Flacco ‘any different’ this season

The Official Site says NFL Official Morelli to explain rules changes Saturday in Westminster

The Sun’s Edward Lee says Ravens, Steelers, Jets only teams to have all Draft picks signed

The Sun’s Jamison Hensley says Ravens hoping Heap can get back to ‘top form’

The Sun’s Edward Lee and Jamison Hensley say Derrick Martin trying to make team as safety due to large number of CB’s on roster

The Sun’s Kevin Cowherd says Training Camp different for Flacco this year being ‘the guy’

The Sun says McNair’s family to be ‘taken care of’ despite QB not leaving will

The Sun’s Edward Lee says vets Reed, Nakamura, Bannan, Marcus Smith all attended practice

The Sun’s Edward Lee says LJ Smith dealing with sore hamstring

The Sun’s Mike Preston says Westminster police had set up speed traps on Tuesday due to start of Training Camp

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Gregg’s ability to ‘cut and run without incident’ positive sign he has healed

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says father Sean Tuohy said Oher tried to leave Memphis for Camp every day this week

Carroll County Times’ Daniel Henderson says former Virginia Tech WR Harper trying to ‘make up’ for missing ’08 season

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says LJ Smith missed Wednesday practice, not dealing with ‘serious injury’

The AP says Oher’s deal expected to be worth more than Mendenhall’s deal in ’08 at same Draft slot

Washington Times’ Ryan O’Halloran and Rachel Orland say Ravens ‘need’ receiver

USA Today’s Sean Leahy says ESPN’s Cris Carter thinks Ravens have reached point of ‘desperation’ in WR search

SI’s John Lopez says ‘Ravens season waiting’ on Mason’s decision

NBC Sports’ Gregg Rosenthal says Oher will be in town for first full squad practice Friday

ESPN.com’s James Walker says Heap has ‘lot of doubters’

ESPN.com’s James Walker thinks Rice will have 710 yards, 4 TD’s this season

TERRAPINS FOOTBALL:says Baltz, Wujciak named preseason All-ACC

The Official Site

The Sun’s Jeff Barker says Princeton Review notes Terps as having best athletic facilities in country

The Sun’s Jeff Barker says Torrey Smith surprisingly NOT on All-ACC team

The Diamondback’s Aaron Kraut says Terps trying to make up for O-Line departures with 123 career starts, including All-ACC Edwin Williams

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says preseason nods have ‘limited value’

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Rhode Island to visit Terps in 2013

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Terps tend to outperform preseason expectations

ESPN.com’s Heather Dinich says Terps already have 13 commitments for ’10, still involved with one major recruit

Terrapin Times’ Mark Clem says North Carolina, Michigan State, Illinois, Virginia Tech were also interested in Terps commit Nate Clarke (must subscribe)says new coach Bakich has to make Terps ‘relevant’

TERRAPINS BASEBALL:

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens

TERRAPINS BASKETBALL:says Flip Saunders almost became Terp

Washington Post’s Matt Bonesteel

TERRAPINS WOMEN’S BASKETBALL:says Frese, Terps prepared to open final camp of summer

The Official Site

Terrapin Times’ Dan Painter profiles Terps target Alicia DeVaughn (must subscribe)offers details on alumni tailgate events

TOWSON FOOTBALL:

The Official Site

The Official Site says Tigers to make appearances on Big Ten Network, Comcast SportsNet this season

The Sun’s Ken Murray says Ambrose expects players to ‘work hard’

The Diamondback’s Chris Eckard says Terps generated $54 million of revenue in ’07-‘08

TOWSON LACROSSE:says former Tiger Drew Pfarr passed away at age 27

The Official Site

NAVY FOOTBALL:says Pospisil named to AFCA Good Works Team

The Official Site

SWIMMING:says Phelps made ‘statement’ by breaking record without full body suit

Swimnetwork.com

Tribune Newspapers’ Lisa Dillman says Phelps bounced back from loss in Rome by winning 200 fly in record time

Washington Post’s Amy Shipley says closest swimmer Korzeniowski 1.72 seconds behind Phelps at World Championships

Washington Post’s Amy Shipley says Phelps plans to race short course events in Baltimore, Washington later this year

The AP’s Paul Newberry says Phelps surpassed Spitz by breaking 34th world record of career

USA Today’s Vicki Michaelis says Bowman thought Phelps was in ‘good spirits’ before crushing competition in 200 fly

HORSE RACING:says Preakness winner Rachel Alexandra to arrive at Monmouth for Haskell Invitational tomorrow

The Sun

BALTIMORE MARINERS:announces job opportunities for next season

The Official Site

SOME QUICK THOUGHTS:

-The Ravens were going to get a deal done with Michael Oher; and I think that it took a fair amount of time for both sides.

Talk to you tomorrow.

-G

It’s been a while; so here are some “Weekend Picks”…..

AC Milan 2, Chelsea 1

There is of course no reason for me to pick an exhibition match; but I’m an Italian soccer fan, so I’m going with the Rossoneri.

Red Sox take 2 of 3 from the O’s

Jeremy Guthrie or Brad Bergesen will figure out a way to get a win somehow this weekend. Combined, they’re one pretty good pitcher.

Drew Bennett IS the receiver the Ravens sign

I don’t think they really have any interest in Joe Horn to be honest.

Let’s see what everyone else has to say…..

Best of Thursday’s WNST Blogs:

Drew Forrester says Rich Hill appears to be pitching giving way for Tillman

Nestor Aparicio excited for NFL Draft to move to primetime

ORIOLES:

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says Birds stand to ‘benefit’ from Spring Training move to Sarasota

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec thinks Baez ‘good bet’ to be traded

The Sun says Cubs interested in acquiring Zaun

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says getting out of Ft. Lauderdale ‘major leap forward’ for organization

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Red Sox haven’t been much better than Birds since All-Star break

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck remembers Ft. Lauderdale fondly

Carroll County Times’ Rich Dubroff says Baez preparing to celebrate 10 year anniversary since defection from Cuba

Carroll County Times’ Josh Land says Tillman likely to replace Berken or Hill in rotation

ESPN.com’s Jayson Stark says O’s want to be ‘overwhelmed’ to deal Sherrill

ORIOLES MINOR LEAGUES:

Norfolk Tides Official Site says Tillman struggled as Tides fell to Gwinnett

Bowie Baysox Official Site says finale with Harrisburg washed out

Frederick Keys Official Site says Tyler Henson’s 2 run double not enough as Keys fell to Salem

Delmarva Shorebirds Official Site says Kolodny homered for Shorebirds in win over Greenville

Aberdeen Ironbirds Official Site says Justin Dalles tallied game winning RBI as Ironbirds topped Hudson Valley

Bluefield Orioles Official Site says Hobgood gave up 3 runs (1 earned) over 2 innings as Orioles fell to Greeneville

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Steve Bumbry went 2-3 with double, SB, RBI in Ironbirds’ win over Renegades

Frederick News-Post says Beato took loss as Keys fell to Red Sox

Virginian-Pilot says Justin Turner had 3 hits, 2B, RBI for Tides in loss to Braves

RAVENS:

The Official Site’s Mike Duffy says Harbaugh thinks Mason ‘honorable’ to not just come to practice and fake enthusiasm

The Sun’s Jamison Hensley says Harbaugh ‘loves and cares about’ Mason

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Newsome wants to know if Mason has ‘passion, love’ for game

USA Today’s Gary Mihoces says Steelers Ravens’ ‘biggest roadblock’ to winning AFC North

Fox Sports’ Peter Schrager says Peerman has chance to get playing time in Ravens backfield

TERRAPINS FOOTBALL:

The Sun’s Matt Bracken says former recruit Edet committed to North Carolina A&T

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens has Terps 52nd in preseason poll

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Terps stronger inside on D-Line than outside

ESPN.com’s Heather Dinich says Terps have 9th best DB’s in ACC

ESPN.com’s Heather Dinich says Terps have 3rd best special teams unit in ACC

Terrapin Times’ Keith Cavanaugh introduces freshman kicker Nick Ferrara (must subscribe)

Terrapin Times’ Keith Cavanaugh introduces freshman RB Porzel (must subscribe)

TERRAPINS BASKETBALL:

The Diamondback’s Aaron Kraut says James Padgett will wear #35 previously worn by Dave Neal

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Jordan Williams will wear #20

TERRAPINS WOMEN’S BASKETBALL:

The AP says former Terp Langhorne had 16 points, 10 boards for Mystics in win over Sky Thursday night

NAVY FOOTBALL:

The Official Site says lunch series with Niumatalolo starts again September 1

The Official Site says safety Emmett Merchant ‘most looking forward to’ Ohio State game

Go Mids’ David Ausiello says USAA sponsorship ‘great’ deal for Mids

HORSE RACING:

Daily Racing Form’s Mike Farrell says Preakness winner Rachel Alexandra, Belmont winner Summer Bird to race for $1.25 million purse at Haskell

Thoroughbred Times’ Jeff Lowe and Frank Angst say Monmouth officials pumped up purse for Haskell by $250,000

SWIMMING:

The AP says Phelps arrived in Rome for World Championships Thursday

USA Today’s Vicki Michaelis says US Swimming Coach Schubert expects Phelps to be on 4×100 relay team

CRYSTAL PALACE USA:

Examiner Jeff Hemelt says Palace ‘in the hunt’ for USL-2 playoffs

SOCCER:

The Sun’s Kevin Van Valkenburg says thousands of fans showed off soccer ‘passion’ despite cancelled practices Thursday

The Sun’s Gabriella LaVerghetta offers history lesson on AC Milan

The Sun’s Danielle Chazen compiles history lesson on Chelsea

The Sun’s Ken Murray says international players at Towson, Loyola, UMBC all excited for WFC match

Washington Post’s Steven Goff says Sherwood grad Onyewu ‘emotional’ about playing with AC Milan before tonight’s friendly with Chelsea at M&T Bank Stadium

Washington Post says Chelsea topped AC Milan 2-nil at Rose Bowl earlier this week

Washington Times’ Tim Lemke says European events like tonight’s World Football Challenge ‘raise bar’ for MLS in United States

SOME QUICK THOUGHTS:

-Don’t like the NFL’s decision to move the Draft to a Thursday night; but fully understand it. The NFL has every right to try to create a ratings juggernaut and bring home mega advertising dollars; but it doesn’t necessarily mean it is the best thing for football fans. Much like the way Ravens fans gather on Sundays for what I can only describe as fellowship amongst fans; Draft weekends have created the same type of fellowship amongst fans. The NFL had that. They won’t anymore.

-Tonight’s match is particularly important for the city as the US tries to bring in a future World Cup. Having the best tickets of any of the stops on this World Football Challenge tour sets up well for getting future World Cup qualifiers or even a World Cup match. Baltimore may NOT be the best soccer market in the county, but being centrally located amongst east coast cities certainly gives us the advantage when it comes to being an ideal location for soccer fans to travel to.

-I don’t question Drew’s sources at all; and firmly believe that he is accurate. That being said; I will still be STUNNED if Andy MacPhail gives up on Rich Hill before Jason Berken.

Talk to you this weekend.

-G

You get props:

1. Brian Roberts, Ty Wigginton & Brad Bergesen

Yo Forrester-consider me OFFICIALLY off the Derek Lowe bandwagon. You mean to tell me the greatest pitcher in the history of the world can’t beat the Orioles on a day when they’re not even trying to win???? And to think-you thought the Orioles should have paid him to have him on their team. We’ve got Bergesen Forrester! And Uehara! And…..Jesus Christ I can’t remember the other guys on this team. But they didn’t suck Saturday and Sunday! Thank God!

And as a note to “Warning Track Power”: I really enjoy your fervor and all; but having to hear THIS song at every game might well end up being the death of me. The team is horrible. You put Ryan Freel in the song. Just sing a song about how it’s been forever and it would be nice for them to not suck every now and then. In fact, the hook is catchy. But do I HAVE to be reminded of who the players are?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFwlKt9LX84[/youtube]

2. Anna Nordqvist & Brian Gay

I’m not trying to say she’s hot; but when your choices are Nordqvist and say, Christina Kim…..

….it’s not a particularly difficult choice. The LPGA Championship might not be coming back to Havre de Grace; but we’ll always have the memories. (Editor’s note: Upon review, I apologize for not realizing that no one has any memories of this event.)

Brian Gay won the Golf Tournament Classic in Memphis this weekend too. I will give you 5 seconds to giggle about his name.

(Pause)

Can’t you just grow up already?

3. Cain Velasquez, Rich Franklin, & Ray Mercer

Congratulations to Velasquez and Franklin for big wins in Germany. But the story of the fighting weekend HAS to be Ray Mercer’s knockout of Tim Syliva; which ranks amongst the more hilarious knockouts I’ve ever seen.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNZARnHMOdo&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

I swear to God my 7 year old cousin would probably have offered more resistance than Tim Sylvia did. And if I remember right, this fight was supposed to be a boxing match; but after he wouldn’t have been allowed to get a license, Sylvia was able to have it changed to a MMA clash. This is actually more embarrassing than the time I had my pants pulled down in 8th grade in front of the very attractive Emily Hancock only to have it revealed that I was apparently the only person in my entire middle school who was still wearing tighty-whities. Did I say that happened to me? I meant my cousin. It was really embarrassing for me him.

4. Miguel Cotto

Cotto beat Clottey Saturday night at Madison Square Garden in a fight that no one was more interested in than Bob Haynie, but yet Bob Haynie was unable to see it. Reminds me of the time I was really looking forward to seeing Maryland play at Duke but nobody told the Terps they had a game scheduled that day.

And apparently Floyd Maywather hurt himself and had to postpone his fight with Juan Manuel Marquez from July 18 until September. Hopefully he will remember to reschedule his July 19th retirement party as well.

5. Michael Phelps

Or as I like to call him “The gift that keeps on giving.” In the pool at the Santa Clara Invitational; Phelps was mediocre at best. But does anyone really care about what this guy does in the pool? First of all, he showed up at the event sporting this Jake Plummer imitation….

…..and then we found he wrote a CHILDREN’S BOOK. Chapter 2: “Kids, make sure no one has a cell phone camera.”

BUT IT GETS BETTER!!!!!

You know, after seeing this, I now think I might have to change my mind about my decision to not advance work on ANY of book ideas. Making matters worse, the other guy whose name is at the top of the book-Alan Abrahamson-is a legitimate journalist who covers Phelps for NBCSports.com. I put in a request to interview Alan Abrahamson’s dignity about the book; but of course found out no such thing existed.

6. Jim Miller, Tim Bascom, and Brett Bordes

The Orioles also promoted all the good pitchers in the organization and demoted all of the ones who weren’t major parts of their plans. Somehow Mark Hendrickson remained with the big league club.

7. Andy Murray & Tommy Haas

This is a picture of Tommy Haas’ girlfriend Sara Foster. I will leave you alone now with your thoughts.

8. Phil Jackson

Congratulations to Jackson on setting the new all-time record by winning his 10th NBA Championship. And to think, none of it would have been possible without Will Perdue…..

9. Torii Hunter, Albert Pujols, & Ronny Paulino

These guys LOVE the longball. Jolts. Jacks. Round trippers. Moon shots. Four baggers. BLEACHER….CREATURES!!!!

Elsewhere in baseball, fired their hitting coach Gerald Perry in an attempt to improve their offense. You would have thought that trading for Brian Roberts would have helped……

Was that a low blow?

10. Michal Neuvirth & Andre Giroux

So they couldn’t get a team past the Conference semifinals in the NHL Playoffs, and now they won’t even be able to claim a Calder Cup. What the hell does Canada have anymore????

11. Josh Wicks & Machel Millwood

DC United and Crystal Palace USA were winners this weekend. That’s nice and all; but it CLEARLY isn’t the biggest story in soccer. The biggest story in soccer is somehow…..Paris Hilton?

…..who reportedly hooked up with the world’s most expensive soccer player, Cristiano Ronaldo. I say “reportedly” because journalists are actually covering this breaking news story. I didn’t spend every day of my high school career trying to get into the University of Maryland School of Journalism for nothing, friends.

12. Jim Tracy

Don’t look now, but after a managerial firing; the Colorado Rockies have won 11 straight games. I say don’t look now because if you’ll look, you’ll probably notice that we’re still only talking about baseball. I’d say this was an exciting streak; but I’m not a great liar. Although, MLB.com apparently is….

……as this picture from Sunday’s win was accompanied by the caption “The skies were ominous, but the mood in the stands at Coors Field was festive.”

What the hell part of that picture is “festive”? The part where some people are pointing at something but some people aren’t? It’s a freaking baseball game!

13. Cougar Town

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2HLhOrQuy9U[/youtube]

This will almost undoubtedly be the worst television program not only in the history of ABC, but in the history of television. But it the only lasting part of this television program is the image of Courtney Cox we see at the 2:52 mark of this trailer; this show has served its purpose.

14. Hons

Some cities brag about their beautiful weather, near perfect air quality, and/or championship sports teams. In Baltimore, we have……the best beehives?

Of course, they one-upped themselves at this year’s HonFest; as they figured out a way to show off the OTHER thing our beautiful city has to offer, by creating the Guinness Book of Records’ World’s largest crabcake…..

The crabcake is rumored to have been just enough to feed Ray Bachman.

15. Dogfish Head “Aprihop” IPA

As you may have heard, I’m a bit of a beer snob. This is another delicious brew from the fine people at Dogfish Head, who have given us such classics as “Punkin Ale” and “90 Minute IPA”. I generally approve of just about everything Dogfish Head does; mostly because I tend to approve of beer in general. The beer is brewed with apricots, hence the very clever name “Aprihop.” This marked a much better choice than their other idea….”Dogfish Head Beer made out of Apricots for people who started drinking fruity beers instead of getting laid in high school.”

You got lucky…..

1. Mark Martin

The last time I gambled on fuel strategy, I ended up on the side of 695 dumping out a gallon of milk so Barry Aparicio could give me a ride to Royal Farms to get some. Things didn’t work out as well for Jimmie Johnson; meaning the math his crew chief Chad Knaus did to determine he could make it didn’t work. Of course, anything that involves math isn’t a sport. In fact, anything that involves math is nothing more than something that should just go away.

2. Marc-Andre Fleury

Nothing like a well placed crossbar to ruin Nicklas Kronwall’s would-be tying goal and give those inbreds in Pittsburgh another major championship. Thanks for that Detroit. And I’ll say this again; it’s probably best that teams in Pittsburgh are good. Because if I had to live in that WRETCHED place and root for crappy teams, I’d be happy there were 400 bridges to pick from.

3. Alex Rodreguez & Willy Aybar

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5xjQUMhN9Y&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

I’d be angry that A-Rod got lucky and had Luis Castillo drop his pop-up Friday night; but it really couldn’t have happened to a more deserving guy. (Editor’s Note: Apparently, this good fortune could have happened to ANY other human being on the face of the planet and they would have been more deserving.)

Aybar had a double go off 3rd base to help the Rays sweep the Nationals; which is really just like rubbing salt in the wounds at this point. Manny Acta might get fired soon; or he might not. Would anyone really even care???

4. Jim Calhoun

Is it wrong of me that when I heard Jim Calhoun broke 5 ribs and collapsed; I was thinking in my head “Yes, yes, thank God yes!!!!!” But apparently Calhoun is actually going to be okay; and is looking forward to visiting with some of his current and former players this summer. At Leavenworth.

5. Adam Eaton

How in God’s name is this guy still employed???? He got his first win with the Colorado Springs Sky Sox, as he hopes to work his way back to the big leagues to join the red hot Colorado Rockies. Obviously he won’t because he might be the worst pitcher in the history of ever; but at least he gets to hang with this guy while he plays with the Sky Sox…..

6. Viewers of the KOMU News whose Friday night viewing suddenly became more entertaining…

[vimeo]http://vimeo.com/4965587[/vimeo]

Why the hell doesn’t this type of thing ever happen when Jayne Miller is on location???

7. Bonnaroo attendees

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVknE8aPgIM&feature=channel[/youtube]

3 hours of Bruce Springsteen, two sets from Phish, a surprise set from Jimmy Buffett, Beastie Boys, etc etc etc??? That’s good and all, but you know how I spent my weekend??? Cleaning up my apartment and trying to get rid of the mildew smell after my dishwasher busted shooting water through the tile into my bathroom. Which lead to this classic text from my roommate….

“If I had to guess how deep the water was, I’d say 8 feet. But I’m not a mathematician.”

Now who had a better weekend?

You’re a zero…….

Good looking people at my apartment complex’s pool

Look, I mostly avoid the pool. Not because I don’t like pools; but mostly because I don’t have the time. But I went to the gym Sunday (save the snickering); and I thought “you know, maybe I should jump in there quickly for a pool shower.” If you don’t know what a pool shower is, you never lived in Arizona. In Arizona it is so hot that you feel the need to take 8 showers a day if you spend more than 5 minutes outside. It had been a while since I had the chance to enjoy a good pool shower; so I decided to hop in Sunday after going to the gym. Of course, my visit to the pool was brief, mostly because there were 5-6 girls and 3-4 dudes that were WAAAAY too attractive to be hanging out at our pool. Go somewhere else people. Chubby dudes who can barely swim shouldn’t have to put up with something like that.

-G

In about 11 days, it will be 2 years since Andy McPhail was hired by Peter Angelos to run the Baltimore Orioles.  In those 2 years, McPhail has pulled off maybe 2 or 3 decent trades and made a few moves that may solidify the Orioles for the next several years. He promised a bright future here in Baltimore because of the retooling of the farm system. “..grow the arms and buy the bats,”  I think was one quote.

Since the 1-0 win last week in Seattle last Monday, the arms are growing tired, the bats are sleeping, and the patience level is dropping as we approach July and the opening of the NFL Ravens’ training camp.

So why are people willing to give McPhail a pass during his first 2 seasons here?

The Orioles have been a trainwreck since 1998. Manager after manager tried to follow the success of Davey Johnson, but all failed miserably. Ray Miller, Mike Hargrove, Lee Mazilli, Sam Perlozzo and Dave Trembley all had opportunities to right the ship and build and motivate the players they were given, but the train could not get back on the right track. On June 18,2007 Sam Perlozzo was dismissed as Oriole manager and bench coach Dave Trembley took over. Two days later, Angelos hired Andy McPhail as President of Baseball Operations (a fancy schmancy word for General Manager) and Mike Flanagan was suddenly MIA, not that Flanagan did that great of a job to begin with. What a great hiring this was. McPhail has been successful everywhere he’s been.

Has he?  In who’s opinion? What constitutes success by this days standards in major league baseball?  Look at the 2 teams he was with before joining the Orioles. The Minnesota Twins andChicago Cubs. Both were in what was considered to be weak divisions, although St Louis, Houston, Cleveland, Detroit and Chicago White Sox may dispute that claim. Nothing matched up with the powerful AL East and West teams in the 90′s, while the Braves, Giants and Dodgers dominated the NL East and West for quite a few years.

McPhail had a decent resume, which included winning 2 world titles with the Minnesota Twins in 1987 and 1991. In 1987 the Twins won the west with a record of 85-77, which isn’t exactly Earth shattering. In 1991 they won 95 games  after 2 sub-.500 seasons. On the championship teams, McPhail had players like Chuck Knoblauch, Brian Harper, Shane Mack, Tom Brunansky, Roy Smalley, Dan Gladden, Greg Gagne, Chili Davis,Kent Hrbek, Kirby Puckett, Scott Erickson, Kevin Tapani, Rick Aguilera, Frank Viola, Jeff Reardon, Bert Blyleven, and Jack Morris. Manager Tom Kelly was there for both championships and the Twins averaged 83 wins over a 7 year span and topped the 90 win mark 3 times. Both times they made the playoffs, they won the World Series, both times in 7 games over Atlanta (the Buffalo Bills of MLB) The only consistent person with the Twins since 1986 is farm director Jim Rantz

McPhail moved onto the Cubs in 1994 and was there until 2006. He was GM for parts of 3 seasons ,July 2000 thru July 2002, and the Cubs never finished higher than 3rd.  In 12 years, his Cubs finished as high as 2nd place two times, made the playoffs both of those times, (1998 and 2003) were below .500 in 8 of those 12 seasons and hit 90 wins only once.  The Cubs had 5 managers during  McPhail’s reign. McPhail had players like Sammy Sosa, Mark Grace, Shawon Dunston, Ryne Sandberg, Steve Trachsel, Jaime Navarro, Turk Wendell, Randy Myers, Terry Mulholland, Kevin Tapani, Lance Johnson, Henry Rodriguez, Derrek Lee, and Aramis Ramirez. Their two highly touted pitching phenoms, Kerry Wood and  Mark Prior turned in more time on the DL than in regular games, yet they stuck with those 2 year after year.

So McPhail was associated with 2 teams that made the playoffs a combined 4 times in 20 years and his teams finished below .500  12 times. Now he is with the Orioles and the team will again be below .500 for his 3rd season. So, in 23 seasons, teams that McPhail had been in charge of have been ABOVE .500 a total of 8 times or, for you stats guys,  that’s 34% of the time.

To me, those statistics are not exactly a sign of being successful.  Is success measured by mediocrity? How long will people put up with this? The Orioles cannot afford to be mediocre for very long. You see the signs of their sub-mediocrity in ths stands game after game. There are flashes of a promising season with a hot 6-2 start,  5 wins in a row 2 weeks ago to pull within a few games of .500, followed by a meltdown of 5 losses in a row on a west coast trip. The 2 high priced players, Brian Roberts and Nick Markakis are slumping badly, veteran Melvin Mora is suffering a power outage and has become a singles hitter, Aubrey Huff is slumping, the pitching has been terrible, and about 10 days into his major league career highly touted rookie savior, Matt Wieters, is hitting .154 with no HR’s or RBI’s.  Remember when people, including myself, were clamoring that Wieters should have been here since day 1?  Now, I hear some people saying he should not have been called up in the first place.

I think very few people realize that since 1983 after they won the World Series, the Orioles have only been ABOVE .500 7 times in 26 seasons or 26,9%. From 1963 to 1983, they were above .500  in 20 of 21 seasons or 95.2% (including  16 years in a row from 1968 to 1983,  along with 8 trips to the post-season and 6 trips to the World Series. That’s quite a turnaround. Contrary to popular belief, the failure of the team over the last 26 years is not ENTIRELY Peter Angelos fault, although the term, “what have you done for me lately”, comes into play over the last 16 or so years.

Based on those numbers alone, fans aged 30 or younger do not know what winning Oriole’s baseball is all about, which I guess is why a majority of the young fans are so willing to be patient and see what develops over the next few years with McPhail at the helm. The older generation of Oriole fans is obviously frustrated at the demise of a franchise that was considered to be one of the best for nearly 30 years.

Over the next 3 or 4 years, if all those young pitchers don’t work out, if Matt Wieters doesn’t develop into that franchise player, if Adam Jones and Nick Markakis don’t turn out to be All-Stars, if the ownership doesn’t spend any money to get some proven GOOD veteran players and continues to bring retreads into the fold, what will happen to the fan base and the future of the Baltimore Orioles?

If mediocrity is achieved, will you still continue to give Andy McPhail a pass?

(Addendum – KM..340pm)  I want to clear up some confusion from people who wear the orange colored glasses and are drinking the orange kool-ade and seem to think that anyone who questions the Orioles is a “hater” I am NOT a hater of the Orioles. I want them to progress and win. Look at the above paragraphs about their winning from 1963 to 1983…That was during my childhood. That was when kids were playing baseball all over the place. Go by ANY open field and you saw kids playing baseball all day, every day. THAT was excitement over baseball. THAT type of excitement hasn’t been around Baltimore since 1983 because the team has been less than mediocre for a majority of those years since. Statistics and records don’t lie. People under 30 accept mediocrity simply because kids don’t play baseball anymore like they used to.

I realize Andy McPhail arrived here with a plan to build from the farm system up. I am all for it, because the Orioles had no viable future plans since 1988. The future hope for this franchise is all on McPhail’s shoulders at this point.  He set the wheels in motion. The rest is up to the young players and the men who will coach them throughout their careers. The Twins proved you don’t have to spend big money to win championships, but they haven’t won anything else in 18 years.  The Cubs haven’t won since World War 2.  Plans only work when the parts all fit well and work well together as a cohesive unit. 

After the Ravens went 5-11 in 2007 after the magical 13-3 season in 2006, people were ready to run Ozzie Newsome out of town. Ozzie is still here and  Brian Billick was let go instead. Ozzie proved himself to be a top-notch GM. McPhail came here touted as a top-notch GM.  If McPhail gets all those pieces together and they fail, who will be to blame, McPhail or-  insert manager here- ? 

 How many years of being a plus .500 team will it take to make people care about the Orioles they way they used to?  Will you be satisfied with roller coaster seasons, good one year, bad the next and continue the up and down trend?  Will you be happy if the Orioles turn out like the Twins and Cubs? What will it take to make you happy about the Orioles in the long term?  Will just being a plus .500 team that finishes in 2nd or 3rd place for 5 to 7 years do it for you?

I am not a fan of having all the rookie pitchers here at the same time. There are 3 here now, but there is no proven veteran pitching leadership presence to teach them. Jeremy Guthrie needs to work on his own game plus he isn’t that far into his career himself, so he has no time to devote to any of those guys. Jim Palmer had guys like Tom Phoebus, Mike Cuellar, Dave McNally and Pat Dobson to learn from. Mike Boddicker, Bill Swaggerty, and Storm Davis learned from Palmer, Scott McGregor, and Mike Flanagan. Other than pitching coach Ray Miller, I can’t even remember who was around when Mike Mussina came up. Scott Erickson maybe? I’m not even sure Miller was here at the time. 

 Who is here to mentor Bergesen, Berken and Hernandez? Do you think  George Sherrill, Danys Baez, Mark Hendrickson and Rich Hill are qualified to teach those guys the right way to pitch?  In a few years, who will be here to mentor Matusz, Tillman and Arietta?  Is the plan to just throw them in there and let them go? I hope not.

I’m as excited about Matt Wieters as just about anyone else; but let’s keep things in perspective. The Orioles are STILL going to be terrible this season. Matt Wieters is not going to be the AL MVP.

BUT……things should get more exciting; and we’ve been desperate for that.

Best of Tuesday’s WNST Blogs:

Drew Forrester can’t help but ‘wonder’ about power numbers of Adam Jones, etc.

Nestor Aparicio wonders how Orioles fans feel about Wieters’ promotion

Bob Haynie says Wieters ‘most anticipated’ Oriole since Ben McDonald

Thyrl Nelson wonders what Baltimore sports fans are doing if not going to Orioles games

Chris Bonetti says Wieters should hit 6th or 7th in Birds’ lineup

Drew Forrester says Sarasota, Lee County in battle with O’s over Spring Training

Rex Snider says Stephanie Zaner “Cal Ripken” of Maryland school attendance

Nestor Aparicio says KOBST finale tonight at Padonia Station

Ed Frankovic says Federov, Kozlov could leave Caps for Russia

Ed Frankovic says Hershey Bears (Caps’ AHL affiliate) on to Calder Cup Finals

ORIOLES:

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says Berken ‘bailed out’ Birds with big start in first Major League win

The Official Site provides numerical evidence of win

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says Rich Hill, Birds go for sweep tonight against Halladay, Blue Jays

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says Uehara will skip start Thursday with hamstring injury

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says Montanez to miss two months after thumb surgery

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says Wieters to make debut Friday vs. Tigers

Blue Jays Official Site’s Jeff Seidel says Romero gave up three home runs in loss to Birds

Norfolk Tides Official Site says Ross Wolf got win over Toledo in relief

Frederick Keys Official Site says Matusz got tough luck no decision in 1-0 loss to Wilmington

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says MacPhail not bringing Wieters up ‘to sit’

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Reimold, Jones, Huff all homer for Birds in win over Jays

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Wieters announcement comes ‘coincidentally’ on same night of smallest crowd in Camden Yards history (10,130)

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Rich Hill thinks Wieters ‘really polished’

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says crowd at OPACY ‘seemed much lower’ than announced record low

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says David Hernandez ‘slated’ to make Uehara’s start Thursday

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Markakis, wife announce “Right Side Foundation”

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Pinckney homered for Tides in win

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Berken’s success should give ‘shot in the arm’ to other players who don’t get Spring Training invites

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says MacPhail made Wieters announcement during MASN game broadcast

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Hendrickson, Bass would be candidates to make Uehara’s start if he doesn’t have to go to DL

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Mr. and Mrs. Markakis plan to move from Georgia to Baltimore

Examiner Jay Trucker says Baez MVP of Orioles’ week

Examiner Steve DeClue says Dave Stockstill gave Wieters news before last night’s game

Carroll County Times’ Rich Dubroff says Trembley thought Berken had ‘good poise’ in win

Carroll County Times’ Rich Dubroff says Wieters went 4-4 for Tides after being informed of promotion

The AP says Wieters brings .285 average for Norfolk to big leagues

The AP says Jim Johnson pitched final scoreless 2 innings to record first save

The AP says Trembley ‘not sure’ whether Uehara will go to DL

Virginian-Pilot’s Rainer Sabin says Tides’ manager Gary Allenson not ready to put together Wieters’ Hall of Fame plaque just yet

Toronto Globe and Mail’s Robert MacLeod says Jays’ losing streak extends to 8

Toronto Sun’s Bob Elliott says Vernon Wells thought conditions, Jays’ performance ‘ugly’ in loss

Toronto Star’s Morgan Campbell says Jays hit Berken early, but he settled down to guide O’s to win

ESPN.com’s Tristan Cockcroft says Wieters will have ‘instant impact’ fantasy-wise for O’s

Fox Sports’ Dayn Perry thinks Cubs should trade Samardzija to Orioles for Roberts

CBS Sports’ Larry Dobrow has Orioles 23rd in power rankings

Frederick News-Post says Blue Rocks hold Keys to 6 hits in loss

RAVENS:

The Official Site’s Geoff Peckham says Ravens sign UTEP UFA C/G Robby Felix

The Sun’s Jamison Hensley says Felix ‘intriguing’ because he had solid career for Miners before suffering stroke

Examiner Steve DeClue says 52 still viewed amongst best LB’s in NFL

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Sypniewski working back from ACL injury

ESPN.com has Ravens 6th in power rankings

ESPN.com’s James Walker says Sypniewski’s spot on roster ‘at risk’ this summer

ESPN.com’s James Walker picked Ravens 7th in power rankings

HORSE RACING:

Belmont Official Site says Mr. Hot Stuff worked 5 furlongs at Keeneland in preparation for third leg of Triple Crown

Daily Racing Form’s Jay Privman says Mr. Hot Stuff looking to follow unlikely winners Jazil, Da’Tara in winning Belmont

Thoroughbred Times’ Ron Parker says Derby winner Mine That Bird favorite in Belmont poll

Thoroughbred Times says Prado trying to win third Belmont after winning previously with Sarava, Birdstone

Thoroughbred Times says Desormeaux to have Summer Bird mount in Belmont

TERRAPINS BASKETBALL:

Examiner Steve DeClue says Florida wouldn’t give Stephenson chance to play for NCAA Championship

Examiner Matthew Bouchard says Dave Neal ‘legendary’ in College Park

Terrapin Times’ Dan Painter says Terps interested in underclassman guard prospect from Sidwell Friends School (must subscribe)

Inside MD Sports’ Seth Hoffman and Will Montgomery say Mychal Parker has Terps, Hurricanes as top two

TERRAPINS FOOTBALL:

ESPN.com’s Heather Dinich says despite Robinson’s ‘impressive Spring’, Terps’ backup QB’s amongst worst in ACC

Terrapin Times’ Mark Clem says Alabama DE prospect visits College Park (must subscribe)

Terrapin Times’ Mark Clem says Terps hoping Ohio OL follows Andrew Crummey, Travis Baltz from Buckeye state to Maryland (must subscribe)

Scout.com’s Bob Lichtenfels says target J.R. Ferguson to enroll at Hargrave Military Academy (must subscribe)

TERRAPINS WOMEN’S BASKETBALL:

The Official Site says former Terp Langhorne wins European Title with TEO Vilnius

Washington Post’s Dan Steinberg says Marissa Coleman still hates Duke even now with Mystics

TERRAPINS LACROSSE:

Inside Lacrosse’s Christian Swezey has Terps 7th in VERY early 2010 poll, based on Brian Phipps’ return from off-season knee surgery

TOWSON LACROSSE:

The Official Site says Randall Cooper honored by ESPN the Magazine

The Sun’s Edward Lee says Seaman’s Tigers should be ‘promising’ in 2010

LOYOLA LACROSSE:

The Official Site says P.T. Ricci honored by Laxpower.com

HOPKINS LACROSSE:

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens has Jays 7th in final poll of season

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Orange beat out Jays to be ‘Team of the Decade’

MORGAN FOOTBALL:

The Official Site says Braxton Banks, Lawrence Brewer, Jeremy Glover, James Meade, Shaka Miller, Terrell White named All-Academic by MEAC

NAVY BASKETBALL:

Go Mids’ David Ausiello says Mids weren’t quite as good as record dictated

UMES FOOTBALL:

The Official Site says Roger Brown inducted to College Football Hall of Fame

SOME QUICK THOUGHTS:

-Good for you, Nick Markakis. That’s the right thing. Please talk to Michael Phelps about doing something similar.

-David Hernandez is also exciting, but his promotion would likely be less permanent.

Talk to you tomorrow.

-G