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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 15 November 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts-UFC 139: Mauricio “Shogun” Rua vs. Dan Henderson (Saturday 9pm from San Jose, CA live on Pay-Per-View), Strikeforce Antwain Britt vs. Lumumba Sayers (Friday 11pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime), Bellator Fighting Championships 58 (Saturday 7pm from Hollywood, FL live on MTV2); Soccer: Team USA @ Slovenia (Tuesday 12pm from Ljubljana, Slovenia live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com); MLS Cup: Houston Dynamo @ Los Angeles Galaxy (Sunday 9pm from Carson, CA live on ESPN); College Soccer: NCAA Tournament-Xavier/West Virginia @ Maryland (Sunday 5pm Ludwig Field); High School Soccer: MPSSAA Boys & Girls Finals (Thursday-Saturday UMBC Stadium); Boxing: Julio Cesar Chavez, Jr. vs. Peter Manfredo (Saturday 10:30pm from Houston live on HBO); Women’s College Basketball: Towson @ Maryland (Wednesday 7pm Comcast Center), Maryland @ UMBC (Saturday 7pm RAC Arena); High School Football: MPSSAA Regional Finals-4A North Catonsville @ Poly (Friday 7pm), 3A North Aberdeen @ North Harford (Friday 7pm), 2A North Chesapeake-Baltimore County @ Edmondson (Saturday 4pm Poly HS), 1A South Surrattsville @ Dunbar (Saturday 1pm Poly HS), 1A North New Town @ Overlea (Friday 7pm CCBC-Essex), 1A East Cambridge @ Perryville (Friday 7pm); College Field Hockey: Final Four-Maryland vs. Old Dominion (Friday 4:30pm from Louisville, KY live on NCAA.com), NCAA Championship Game (Sunday 12pm from Louisville, KY live on NCAA.com); Canadian Football League Playoffs: Eastern Conference Finals-Hamilton Tiger-Cats @ Winnipeg Blue Bombers (Sunday 1pm from Winnipeg live on ESPN3.com), Western Conference Finals-Edmonton Eskimos @ BC Lions (Sunday 4:30pm from Vancouver live on ESPN3.com)

10. Hank3 (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Airborne Toxic Event (Thursday 7:30pm Rams Head Live), Brett Dennen (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Robert Randolph and the Family Band (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Five Finger Death Punch (Monday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); Chris Robinson Brotherhood (Tuesday 8pm Baltimore Soundstage); Bob Schneider (Sunday 8:30pm Rams Head On Stage); Owl City (Wednesday 5:30pm 9:30 Club), Mike Doughty and His Band Fantastic (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club), The Kooks (Sunday 7pm 9:30 Club); Ray Davies (Tuesday 7pm Fillmore Silver Spring), Kid Rock (Wednesday 8:30pm Fillmore Silver Spring), LMFAO (Thursday 8pm Fillmore Silver Spring), Warren Haynes (Saturday 7pm Fillmore Silver Spring); Straight No Chaser (Saturday 8pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); Drake “Take Care” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

I start with Brett Dennen, whose tune “Comeback Kid (That’s My Dog)” I play regularly on “The Reality Check”-a fine radio program that airs Monday-Friday 2-6pm on AM1570 WNST.net. You should really be listening…

Then there’s Robert Randolph. Holy hell I have no idea how many times I could possibly post this video. It’s just…it’s just…it’s just amazing.

Bob Schneider’s “Honeypot” is one of the most underrated songs of 2011…

Does the Chris Robinson Brotherhood play Black Crowes songs? I’ll bring my lighter…

9. Cirque du Soleil Quidam (Thursday-Sunday Verizon Center); Russell Brand (Thursday 8pm Patriot Center); Tony Rock (Thursday-Saturday Magooby’s Joke House); Bob Marley (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); “Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tide” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

Instead of Russell Brand doing stand-up in Fairfax, is there any chance we could get a concert featuring Aldous Snow and Infant Sorrow???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t6beljyjyA

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 01 November 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Lucian Bute vs. Glen Johnson (Saturday 9pm from Quebec City, Canada live on Showtime); Golf: World Golf Championships-HSBC Champions (Thursday & Friday 12am, Friday & Saturday 11pm from Shanghai, China live on Golf Channel), Champions Tour Charles Schwab Cup Championship (Thursday-Sunday 4:30pm from San Francisco live on Golf Channel);  Soccer: MLS Playoffs Eastern Conference Semifinals-Colorado Rapids @ Sporting Kansas City (Wednesday 8pm from Kansas City live on Fox Soccer Channel), Philadelphia Union @ Houston Dynamo (Thursday 8:30pm from Houston live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com); Western Conference Semifinals-Real Salt Lake @ Seattle Sounders (Wednesday 10pm from Seattle live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com), New York Red Bulls @ LA Galaxy (Thursday 11pm from Carson, CA live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com); College Soccer: Wake Forest @ Maryland (Thursday 7:30pm Ludwig Field); America East Tournament Quarterfinal: Hartford @ UMBC (Saturday 7pm Retriever Soccer Park); Tennis: ATP Tour Swiss Indoors Basel (Tuesday 10:30am Wednesday & Thursday 11am Friday 9am Saturday 9:30am Sunday 9am from Basel, Switzerland live on Tennis Channel); New York City Marathon (Sunday 9am from New York live on Universal Sports); Canadian Football League: Winnipeg Blue Bombers @ Calgary Stampeders (Saturday 4pm from Calgary live on NFL Network); Exhibition Women’s College Basketball: Messiah @ Maryland (Tuesday 7pm Comcast Center), Holy Family @ Maryland (Sunday 7pm Comcast Center)

10. Jay-Z/Kanye West (Tuesday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena, Thursday 7:30pm Verizon Center); Buddy Guy (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Marsha Ambrosius (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); Misfits (Thursday 6:30pm Recher Theatre); Orgone (Friday 8pm 8×10 Club); BoDeans (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head on Stage), Shelby Lynne (Monday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); Willie Nelson (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club), Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers (Saturday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Cold War Kids (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Donald Glover/Childish Gambino (Tuesday 7pm Fillmore Silver Spring), Jamey Johnson (Saturday 8pm Fillmore Silver Spring); Soulive (Friday 7pm State Theatre); Florence + The Machine “Ceremonials” & Wale “Ambition” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

There’s nothing I can say about HOV and Ye that you don’t already know. I assume they’ll be going HAM on the Civic Center Tuesday night…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdQ0kueR2DU[/youtube]

Marsha Ambrosius comes off to me as sort of a female version of Maxwell. Am I right?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lgbUptkC28&ob=av2e[/youtube]

I feel like “Sabotage” is the track I’m digging most early from Wale’s new record. Someone ask him to play “Everybody Beats Glenn” against me this week on “The Reality Check” on AM1570 WNST.net…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oz8FltiaPJk[/youtube]

Who was the guy that spent the cash for the new FATM record the MINUTE hit iTunes? That was Glenn Clark. Seriously, this band has TOTALLY avoided the sophomore slump issue.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbN0nX61rIs&ob=av2e[/youtube]

9. Jeff Dunham (Saturday 8pm Patriot Center); Louis C.K.(Friday 7:30pm & 9:30pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); Carlos Mencia (Tuesday 7pm DC Improv), Jim Breuer (Friday-Sunday DC Improv); “A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas” out in theaters (Friday)

If you’re a Saturday Night Live mark the way I am, you might be willing to check out Jim Breuer…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qUjmGSMGUt4[/youtube]

I don’t know that I’m signing off on the new Harold & Kumar flick, but the first one is STILL funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSWnmOvgyKc[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 25 October 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Pro Wrestling-Maryland Championship Wrestling Tribute to the Legends (Saturday 6:30pm New Green Room Dundalk); Golf: PGA Tour CIMB Asia Pacific Classic Malaysia (Thursday-Sunday 1am from Selangor, Malaysia live on Golf Channel); Auto Racing: NASCAR Tums Fast Relief 500 (Sunday 1:30pm from Martinsville, VA live on ESPN); Boxing: ShoBox-Brandon Gonzalez vs. Ossie Duran (Friday 11pm from Atlantic City live on Showtime); Canadian Football League: Edmonton Eskimos @ BC Lions (Saturday 10pm from Vancouver live on NFL Network); Soccer: MLS Playoffs-New York Red Bulls @ FC Dallas (Wednesday 9pm from Frisco, TX live on Fox Soccer Channel), Seattle Sounders @ Real Salt Lake (Saturday 10pm from Salt Lake City live on Fox Soccer Channel), Houston Dynamo @ Philadelphia Union (Sunday 4pm from Chester, PA live on ESPN2); Stony Brook @ UMBC (Wednesday 7pm Retriever Soccer Park)

10. Butch Walker (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live); Charm City Devils (Friday 7pm Recher Theatre), Pietasters (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Queensryche (Sunday 7pm Baltimore Soundstage); Ra Ra Riot (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), The Naked & Famous (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club), Panic! At The Disco (Monday 6:30pm 9:30 Club); Moby (Wednesday 7pm Fillmore Silver Spring), Ziggy Marley (Sunday 7pm Fillmore Silver Spring); Tedeschi Trucks Band (Friday 8pm Warner Theatre), Marsha Ambrosius (Sunday 8pm Warner Theatre); Sting (Saturday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Ray Manzarek & Robby Krieger of The Doors (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Coldplay “Mylo Xyloto” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday); Pearl Jam 20 available on DVD (Tuesday)

I’m not the type that thinks Butch Walker is the greatest thing to ever happen to music, but I AM eternally grateful for Marvelous 3…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Obkkxng-0g[/youtube]

I’m hoping John Allen will join me to play “Everybody Beats Glenn” Thursday before the CCD show Friday night. Someone pressure him on this. I’m a fan!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUB08-RuwdM[/youtube]

I dig The Naked & Famous probably more than I realized initially…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YuSg4mts9E[/youtube]

I missed seeing the Pearl Jam documentary Friday night on PBS because I went to see 50/50 in Hunt Valley. It was really good, and even included a hell of a Pearl Jam tune…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhcnKYvzfZc[/youtube]

9. John Oliver (Saturday 7:30pm Warner Theatre); The Great Big Halloween Parade of Light & Luminari (Saturday 7pm Patterson Park); Carlos Mencia (Thursday 8pm Baltimore Comedy Factory), Kevin Brown (Friday & Saturday Baltimore Comedy Factory); Shawn & Marlon Wayans (Friday-Sunday DC Improv)

With Halloween in mind, here’s the “Party Rock Anthem” Halloween house video for the 5-6 of you that haven’t seen it on Facebook yet…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfcNoMnKjrY[/youtube]

And since we’re not legally allowed to post anything that doesn’t involve the name Tim Tebow, here’s John Oliver at a Florida State Homecoming event…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN7LEgi7szQ[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 18 October 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Nonito Donaire vs. Omar Narvaez (Saturday 10:30pm from New York live on HBO); Soccer: MLS-Portland Timbers @ DC United (Wednesday 8pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet), Sporting Kansas City @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS); College Soccer: Penn State @ UMBC (Wednesday 7pm Retriever Soccer Park); Mixed Martial Arts: Bellator Fighting Championships 55 (Saturday 9pm from Yuma, AZ live on MTV2); High School Football: Perry Hall @ Woodlawn (Friday 7pm), Dunbar @ Poly (7pm), Archbishop Spalding @ Calvert Hall (7pm); Rugby World Cup Bronze Medal Match: Wales vs. Australia (Friday 3:30am from Auckland, New Zealand live on Universal Sports), Final: France vs. New Zealand (Sunday 3pm from Auckland, New Zealand on NBC); Canadian Football League: Montreal Alouettes @ Winnipeg Blue Bombers (Saturday 3pm from Winnipeg live on NFL Network)

10. Dirty Heads/Gym Class Heroes (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Jayhawks (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Ani Difranco (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), New Found Glory (Sunday 5:30pm Rams Head Live), Mat Kearney (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Mike Posner (Thursday 7pm Recher Theatre); J Cole (Thursday 7pm Baltimore Soundstage); Blind Boys of Alabama (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head on Stage), Stephen Stills (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head on Stage), Dick Dale (Saturday 12:30pm Rams Head on Stage), Little River Band (Monday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); Jason Isbell (Friday 10pm 9:30 Club), Taking Back Sunday (Saturday 11pm 9:30 Club); Wale (Saturday 7pm Fillmore Silver Spring); “Weird Al” Yankovic (Wednesday 8pm Warner Theatre), Jackson Browne (Sunday 7pm Warner Theatre); India.Arie (Saturday 8pm Strathmore); Martina McBride (Sunday 7pm France-Merrick Performing Arts Center at the Hippodrome); Coldplay “Mylo Xyloto, Jane’s Addiction “The Great Escape Artist” available on iTunes/in stores (Tuesday); Pearl Jam 20 available on DVD (Tuesday)

I’ve had my ass kicked a bit over not being more familiar with the Jayhawks until recently. They’re quite good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBGX_z6xuVU[/youtube]

The name Dick Dale might not mean a lot to you, but if you listen to “The Reality Check” on AM1570 WNST.net (and why wouldn’t you?), you’d be familiar with the theme to “Totally Tubular.” (Someone will yell at me for not also noting that Dick Dale is one of the greatest surf guitarists of all time. I’ve handled that now.)…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D5OHrQYwRac[/youtube]

The Sun’s Kevin Van Valkenburg introduced me to Jason Isbell (of Drive-By Truckers fame) perhaps without even realizing he had. I’m thankful.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V_vBPaI1d0[/youtube]

I’d love to be like the rest of the world and just make fun of Coldplay, but DAMN they make good music…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Kf_6BWcOOg[/youtube]

9. Brad Garrett (Thursday 6pm & 9pm Rams Head on Stage); Lewis Black (Saturday 8pm Lyric Opera House Sunday 8pm Fillmore Silver Spring); Paul Mooney (Thursday-Saturday Baltimore Comedy Factory); Dave Attell (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tide” and “Bad Teacher” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday); Maryland Renaissance Festival final weekend (Saturday & Sunday RennFest Fairgrounds Crownsville)

There are few people in the world that GENUINELY make me laugh. Lewis Black is one of those people. (Language NSFW…unless you work in Lewis Black’s office of course.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mCDZMWVWuc[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 04 October 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Frys.com Open (Thursday-Sunday 4pm from San Martin, CA live on Golf Channel), Champions Tour Insperity Championship (Friday-Sunday 8:30pm from The Woodlands, TX live on Golf Channel), LPGA HanaBank Championship (Friday-Sunday 1pm from Incheon, South Korea on Golf Channel); Boxing: ShoBox-Sharif Bogere vs. Francisco Contreras (Friday 11pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime); Canadian Football League: Calgary Stampeders @ BC Lions (Saturday 10pm from Vancouver live on NFL Network); High School Football: Calvert Hall @ Gilman (Friday 2:30pm), Parkville @ Perry Hall (Thursday 6pm)

10. Scream Tour: The Next Generation feat. Mindless Behavior & New Boyz (Friday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Trey Anastasio Band (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live); Herman’s Hermits (Friday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head on Stage); Ben Harper (Tuesday & Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Robert Randolph and The Family Band (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club), Boyce Avenue (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); The Gourds (Wednesday 7pm Club 66 Edgewood); Wale/Big Sean (Thursday 8pm Murphy Fine Arts Center Morgan State); Chris Tucker (Friday 7:30pm & 10:30pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Blue Oyster Cult (Sunday 8pm State Theatre); Indigo Girls (Sunday 7pm Strathmore); Spin Doctors (Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere), Stephen Stills (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Big & Rich (Saturday 7pm Taste of DC-Pennsylvania Ave), Styx/Ed Kowalczyk (Sunday 7pm Taste of DC-Pennsylvania Ave), Rusted Root (Monday 7pm Taste of DC-Pennsylvania Ave); Bobby Lee (Friday-Sunday DC Improv)

I love Ben Harper and I miss the Innocent Criminals…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saOoA0hCzqY[/youtube]

My friend Robert Randolph has a new disc dropping soon called “Live In Concert.” I believe it’s worth the purchase…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3UOE9Sa6dw[/youtube]

Boyce Avenue doesn’t do many original songs. Instead they regularly do other peoples’ songs better than they can…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5paQ9BwFAgI[/youtube]

If it makes me a chick that I enjoy the tune “Holy Water” by Big & Rich, just help me pick out my lipstick already…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pI5e69fg4Cs[/youtube]

9. Maryland Brewer’s Association Oktoberfest (Saturday 11am Timonium Fairgrounds); Maryland Renaissance Festival (Saturday & Sunday RennFest Fairgrounds Crownsville); Second City: Charmed & Dangerous (Tuesday-Sunday Center Stage); Pulp Fiction” & “Jackie Brown” available on Blu-Ray (Tuesday); “Real Steel” opens in theaters (Friday), “The League” season premiere (Thursday 10:30pm FX)

Many of the above things excite me.

I’ve already shared my thoughts on RennFest and Second City. I haven’t shared my thoughts on Oktoberfest, but I know it involves these things…

beerbrats

Beer and Brats are two of my favorite things on the face of the planet. Oh…and this too…

wench

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 01 August 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Soccer-MLS Toronto FC @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm RFK Stadium); WNBA New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NBA TV); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Rochester Rattlers (Saturday 7pm from Rochester, NY live on ESPN3.com); Canadian Football League: Toronto Argonauts @ Montreal Alouettes (Thursday 8pm from Montreal live on NFL Network)

10. Jill Scott/Anthony Hamilton/Mint Condition (Sunday 7pm Verizon Center); Guster/Jack’s Mannequin (Sunday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Steely Dan (Tuesday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Death Cab For Cutie (Sunday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Alison Krauss & Union Station (Sunday 8pm Wolf Trap), INXS (Monday 8pm Wolf Trap); Cinderella (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live); Alien Ant Farm (Friday 7pm Recher Theatre), Hammerjack’s Reunion feat. Child’s Play (Saturday 1pm Recher Theatre); Cappadonna (Thursday 8:30pm Sonar); Toad The Wet Sprocket (Thursday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head On Stage); Bon Iver (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Rusted Root (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club); O.A.R. “King” (Tuesday) and Jay-Z & Kanye West “Watch The Throne” (Monday) available in stores/on iTunes; Doug Benson Loves Movies Podcast (Wednesday 8pm Baltimore Comedy Factory), Rob Cantrell (Thursday-Saturday Baltimore Comedy Factory); John Mulaney (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv)

Look, I know Steely Dan is great and all-but we agree that they stole a Grammy that rightly belonged to Eminem, don’t we?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTDRd0Z0O4o[/youtube]

Is the guy JD Fortune still singing for INXS after winning that reality show? It’s a little embarrassing, but if he can sing “Need You Tonight” ANYTHING like Michael Hutchence I’d be in…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhvbRZWEtd4[/youtube]

I’ve seen Alien Ant Farm three times in my life. Perhaps I shouldn’t admit that, but I’ve felt like you and I should always be able to trust each other to tell the truth.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ2t4jfVTiU[/youtube]

I’m seriously freaking out about the new O.A.R. record. Not excited enough to actually go to a record STORE, but damnit I’m approaching 30. Record stores just aren’t real anymore. What was I talking about here?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-yValw_UbE[/youtube]

9. National Aquarium 30th Anniversary Festival (Friday-Sunday National Aquarium in Baltimore); Baltimore Summer Restaurant Week (begins Friday throughout Charm City)

It’s a shame William Donald Schaefer didn’t make it long enough for this. He wouldn’t have been in health to don the suit once more, but it wouldn’t have meant more to anyone in the world.

wds

Thus concludes the only part of this that will in any way resemble anything of a serious nature.

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 18 July 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Challengers-Bobby Voelker vs. Roger Bowling (Friday 11pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime); WNBA: Atlanta Dream @ Washington Mystics (Wednesday 11:30am from Verizon Center live on NBA TV); Arena Football: AFL Spokane Shock @ Jacksonville Sharks (Friday 8pm from Jacksonville live on NFL Network); CFL: Edmonton Eskimos @ Calgary Stampeders (Saturday 7pm from Calgary live on NFL Network); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Anthony Dirrell vs. Kevin Engel (Friday 9pm from Las Vegas live on ESPN2), Amir Khan vs. Zab Judah (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on HBO); Roller Derby: Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Long Island Lizards @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet/ESPN3.com)

10. Michael McDonald & Boz Scaggs (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), Dierks Bentley (Thursday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Wiz Khalifa (Sunday 3:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Lucinda Williams/Amos Lee (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Emmylou Harris (Saturday 8pm Wolf Trap); Kid Cudi (Saturday 7pm Ocean City Inlet); Ted Nugent (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live); Better Than Ezra (Friday 6pm Power Plant Live); Jimi Haha (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Marc Cohn (Saturday 9pm Rams Head On Stage); Ellie Goulding (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Jonny Lang (Tuesday 7:30pm Birchmere), Carbon Leaf (Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); Brian McKnight (Friday 8pm Strathmore); Tom Papa (Thursday-Saturday DC Improv); 311 “Universal Pulse” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

I don’t care what Paul Rudd said in “40 Year Old Virgin”, Michael McDonald kicks ass. (Note: Michael McDonald doesn’t really kick ass. But “What a Fool Believes” does.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDWGKQcQ8zw[/youtube]

It’s much too far a haul, but I’d be all in to go see Amos Lee…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDOcbMic6mI[/youtube]

Can anyone help me find an affordable place to stay in OC this weekend? I’d REALLY like to go see Kid Cudi…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRPpLGxGNZY[/youtube]

If I don’t go to OC this weekend, I’m definitely going to see BTE Friday night. This song was the soundtrack to my 7th grade…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl6gaF_6Wcs[/youtube]

9. Captain America” and “Friends With Benefits” open in theaters (Friday)

I’m all in on Captain America because…I mean…he’s Captain freaking America.

You might be surprised that I’m also in on FWB, but I am. Think about it. One-it’s a movie about Mila Kunis having sex…

kunis

Two-Justin Timberlake is legit funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOulenjUr5E[/youtube]

(Eds. Note: Why would SNL try so hard to ruin him by shoving Kristen Wiig and Lady GaGa in this sketch?)

(Eds. Note 2: No way Friends With Benefits is REALLY funny.)

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 04 July 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Arena Football-AFL Cleveland Gladiators @ Philadelphia Soul (Friday 8pm from Philly live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: Montreal Alouettes @ Saskatchewan Roughriders (Saturday 4pm from Saskatchewan live on NFL Network), Hamilton Tiger-Cats @ Edmonton Eskimos (Saturday 7pm from Edmonton live on NFL Network); WNBA: Washington Mystics @ Chicago Sky (Tuesday 8pm from Chicago live on ESPN3.com); Boxing: Brandon Rios vs. Urbano Antillon (Saturday 10pm from Carson, CA live on Showtime), Paul Williams vs. Erislandy Lara (Saturday 10:15pm from Atlantic City live on HBO), Friday Night Fights-Francisco Sierra vs. Jesus Gonzales (Friday 9pm from Phoenix live on ESPN2)

10. Bela Fleck & The Flecktones (Thursday 6pm Rams Head Live), Charm City Devils (Saturday 7:30pm Rams Head Live), Old 97′s (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Frankie Beverly & MAZE (Saturday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Animal Collective (Saturday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Def Leppard/Heart (Saturday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); Marshall Tucker Band (Sunday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); John Witherspoon (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Rockapella (Thursday 7:30pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); The Bridge (Sunday 6pm Ladew Gardens)

The Old 97′s are the best band you’ve never heard of. (I’ve always wanted to say that!)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1nn7lXP7WQ[/youtube]

I’ve been trying to get you to support John Allan and CCD boys for years. Please start soon.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUB08-RuwdM[/youtube]

My favorite Def Leppard tune? Quite possibly “Photograph”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ5bS3_BCDs[/youtube]

For the 15th time this year, PLEASE START LISTENING TO THE BRIDGE…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajY3mBuGVQk[/youtube]

9. “Horrible Bosses” opens in theaters (Friday); Boy Meets World Season 6 available on DVD (Tuesday)

I finally saw “Bridesmaids” over 4th of July weekend. How can Kristen Wiig not be funny at all on Saturday Night Live but then be genuinely funny in a really funny movie? Weird.

Critics are telling us Horrible Bosses is really funny, so I imagine I’ll see it. I am struggling with one of the plotlines being Charlie Day having problems with being sexually harassed by Jennifer Aniston however…

aniston

Nope. Not buying it.

And as far as BMW Season 6 goes, I remember the ridiculous range of emotions I experienced while watching the episode “Resurrection.” Tough to do this to a 13 year old kid, ABC.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIv8WCIfD4Y[/youtube]

8. Pro Lacrosse: MLL All-Star Game (Saturday 7pm from Boston live on ESPN2)

Lord…they’ve won the Super Bowl three times, the World Series twice, the NBA Championship, the Stanley Cup and four Frozen Fours since 2001 and now they’re taking the All-Star Game in OUR sport?

Jesus, this is too much. Seriously, can’t we just have anything in Charm City? I mean, are they going to take this from us next???

backriver

7. Cycling: Tour De France (Stage 3 Tuesday 8am Stage 4 Wednesday 7:30am Stages 5-8 Thursday-Sunday 8am all live on VERSUS)

I couldn’t tell you a damn THING about the Tour de France at this point, and I follow Lance Armstrong on Twitter.

Instead, I offer a picture of Buffalo Chicken Waffle French Fries for my food porn friends…

fries

Word.

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR Quaker State 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Sparta, KY live on TNT); IndyCar Series Honda Indy Toronto (Sunday 2pm from Toronto live on VERSUS)

Something called David Ragan won this week’s NASCAR race in Daytona. So…that happened.

Look-if it had been Brian Regan, I would have been interested…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89frRi8GgGA[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 09 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts-Bellator Fighting Championships 44 (Saturday 9pm from Atlantic City live on MTV2); Soccer: MLS-Colorado Rapids @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet); Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour Internazionali BNL D’Italia (Tuesday-Thursday 6am & 1:30pm, Friday 6am & 3:15pm, Saturday 8am & 2pm live on Tennis Channel & ESPN3.com, Saturday 10am live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from Rome, Italy); Women’s College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Navy @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm Field Hockey & Lacrosse Complex-College Park), UMass @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm Ridley Athletic Complex); Arena Football: AFL Tulsa Talons @ New Orleans VooDoo (Friday 8pm from New Orleans live on NFL Network)

10. M3 Rock Festival feat. Warrant, Kix, Whitesnake, Tesla, Sebastian Bach, Lita Ford, Mr. Big, Slaughter, Great White (Friday-Saturday Merriweather Post Pavilion); Sunday Funday feat. Amos Lee, Josh Ritter, Eric Hutchinson (Sunday 12:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Eric Benet (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Social Distortion (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live); Richard Lewis (Saturday 8pm & 10:30pm Recher Theatre); My Chemical Romance (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Echo & The Bunnymen (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Adele (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club); Bob Marley (Wednesday-Sunday DC Improv); James Taylor (Wednesday 7:30pm Hippodrome); J Roddy Walston & The Business (Wednesday 8:30pm Rock & Roll Hotel); Doug Stanhope (Thursday 8pm State Theatre); The Lonely Island “Turtleneck & Chain” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Of everyone playing at M3, I’d be most excited to rock out to this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz61YQWZuYU[/youtube]

Sunday Funday actually sounds like my kind of show. I’d dig this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm5TZX5hz3g[/youtube]

I’m not the type of Social D freak, but Social D is REALLY good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXAU4MmMIMo[/youtube]

Adele is amazing. I mean, AMAZING…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw[/youtube]

9. Preakness 5k (Saturday 10:30am Pimlico)

The cool concept behind the Preakness 5k is that human beings get to run at a track where horses…get to watch people in the infield urinate everywhere.

This is a reminder that Preakness is just a week away. You need to start making your survival plans now. Having not attended the Kentucky Derby this year, I think I might dress up a little bit this year. I’ve been looking at some former Preakness wardrobes for inspiration and I think I finally found mine…

preakness

8. Boxing: Andre Ward vs. Arthur Abraham (Saturday 10pm from Carson, CA live on Showtime); ShoBox: Sharif Bogere vs. Raymundo Beltran (Friday 11:05pm from Primm, NV live on Showtime); Friday Night Fights: Kendall Holt vs. Julio Diaz (Friday 9pm from Santa Ynez, CA live on ESPN2)

In boxing news, apparently after beating Shane Mosley easily in Las Vegas, Manny Pacquiao wandered into a club in Las Vegas and sang a few songs.

I’m sure it was awesome, but no way was it as awesome as the time he sang with Will Ferrell…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT4hHMIpnjU[/youtube]

7. Pro Lacrosse: MLL Rochester Rattlers @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium)

You know how at the beginning of NFL season everyone says “the quest for the Vince Lombardi Trophy is on”?

Or how at the start of the hockey season we hear things like “The hunt for the Stanley Cup begins”?

Well…umm…what do they say at the start of lacrosse season? Honestly, what’s the trophy for winning the lacrosse title?

In honor of not knowing, I’ll label the debut of the MLL as “The Quest to look at this picture of Belen Rodriguez begins!”

(Thanks Guyism.)

belenrod

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR FedEx 400 (Sunday 1pm from Dover live on FOX)

Oh wow. NASCAR is back in Dover. If you get lost on your way back from Ocean City this weekend, stop by to do…nothing.

Yeah, that’s all I’ve got here. Seriously…there’s nothing else worth saying. If you’ve gone before, you understand.

5. NHL Playoffs: Western Conference Semifinals-Detroit Red Wings vs. San Jose Sharks (Game 6 Tuesday 8pm from Detroit live on VERSUS, Game 7 if necessary Thursday TBD from San Jose live on VERSUS), Vancouver Canucks vs. Nashville Predators (Game 7 if necessary Wednesday TBD from Vancouver live on VERSUS); Western Conference Finals & Eastern Conference Finals: Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (begin this weekend, schedules TBD)

I couldn’t help but laugh at the misery of Washington Redskins fans last week as their beloved Capitals were so soundly dismissed by the Bolts.

HAHAHAHAHA YOUR HOCKEY TEAM SUCKS AND YOU DON’T HAVE A QUARTERBACK!

You might say that makes me a mean person. I’d say “up yours, Skins fans.”

All of Charm City is rooting for the Preds now I guess because of the Baltimore Skipjacks connection with Barry Trotz.

I’ll buy in. Cue Tim McGraw!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX4tSBPSViE[/youtube]

4. Pro Wrestling: TNA Sacrifice (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View); WWE WrestleMania 27 available on DVD (Tuesday)

WrestleMania kinda sucked, so I would assume I know at least one doughy morning sports jock who will pass on making the purchase.

I’ll also likely pass on making the purchase of the TNA PPV (I’ve passed on all of the others before that), but it doesn’t mean my opinion of Mickie James has lessened at all…

mickiejames

3. Golf: PGA Tour THE PLAYERS Championship (Thursday & Friday 1pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Ponte Vedra Beach, FL)

The Players is apparently considered the “fifth major” on the PGA Tour.

Of course, most of the REAL majors are being won by golfers no one has ever heard of (see: Schwartzel, Charl), so maybe even Drew Forrester has a chance to win TPC.

More good news. No matter how bad the real golfers are, we can still laugh at the fake golfers. Like Charles Barkley…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQwa0VrdLsQ&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

2. NBA Playoffs:Eastern Conference Semifinals-Atlanta Hawks vs. Chicago Bulls (Game 5 Tuesday 8pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 6 Thursday 8pm from Atlanta live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday TBD from Chicago live on TNT), Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics (Game 5 Wednesday 7pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Boston live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Monday 8pm from Miami live on TNT); Western Conference Semifinals-Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Memphis Grizzlies (Game 5 Wednesday 9:30pm from Oklahoma City live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Memphis live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday from Oklahoma City TBD)

If you have American blood running through your veins, you will be rooting for the Grizz the rest of the way through the playoffs.

Or if you have Venezuelan blood. Either way, you better damn well be rooting for this man…

greivis

1. College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Hofstra @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 12pm from Homewood Field live on ESPN), Maryland @ North Carolina (Sunday 1pm from Chapel Hill, NC live on ESPN2); Division 3 NCAA Tournament-Cabrini/Widener @ Stevenson (Saturday TBD Caves Athletic Complex)

Carolina again? Lord. I can’t stand the freaking Tar Heels.

I can’t find a YouTube video of the night the Terps stormed back from down 66-44 in the second half to be the Heels at the DeanDome. If anyone can track something down, please pass it along to me.

In the meantime, take this UNC fans…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwfLa-PmqpY[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 03 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts-Bellator Fighting Championships 43 (Saturday 9pm from Newkirk, OK live on MTV2); Arena Football: AFL Tampa Bay Storm @ Orlando Predators (Friday 8pm from Orlando live on NFL Network); Soccer: MLS-Seattle Sounders FC @ DC United (Wednesday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on MLS Direct Kick), FC Dallas @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on MLS Direct Kick)

10. Carbon Leaf (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Manchester Orchestra/Cage The Elephant (Sunday 6:30pm Rams Head Live), Donald Glover (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Mint Condition (Saturday 7pm Bourbon Street); Ballyhoo (Saturday 7pm Recher Theatre); Asia (Tuesday & Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); FOALS/Freelance Whales/The Naked & Famous (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club), Airborne Toxic Event (Sunday 8pm 9:30 Club); Talib Kweli (Wednesday 8pm Sonar), Bowling For Soup (Friday 8pm Sonar); All Time Low/Yellowcard (Saturday 7pm RAC Arena-UMBC); Towson University Tigerfest feat. Brand New, Reel Big Fish, Far East Movement (Friday 3pm Unitas Stadium); Plain White T’s/Parachute (Saturday 12:45pm Pimlico); Harland Williams (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Beastie Boys “Hot Sauce Committee Part 2″ available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

If you’re not familiar with Carbon Leaf…I suggest you get familiar with them as soon as possible…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dcyS90pdcuw[/youtube]

I REALLY dig Cage The Elephant. I mean, I REALLY dig Cage The Elephant. This song is quite good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v27TRan1SBI[/youtube]

Airborne Toxic Event=totally underrated…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKEu3EmBCzQ[/youtube]

Really surprised Towson couldn’t do better than Brand New and Reel Big Fish for Tigerfest. But at least I really dig “Jude Law and a Semester Abroad”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vlAqE1zgY-I[/youtube]

9. Maryland Film Festival (Thursday-Sunday Charles Theater), Ocean City Springfest (Thursday-Saturday 10am Ocean City inlet)

George Jones and Richard Marx are the headliners for this year’s Springfest. Now word on why Rick Astley wasn’t available.

As far as the Maryland Film Festival is concerned-I’ve amazingly never attended the event. I feel a bit ashamed as a Baltimore native to say that, as the event is one of the city’s more significant economically.

Of course, I feel like I would have been more inclined to make sure I got out there had they ever screened something more along the lines of…say…Superbad…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNib30GghKw[/youtube]

8. Deadline for underclassmen to remove name from NBA Draft (Sunday)

This is a little bit different than the last time this day was significant for area sports fans.

In 2009, Terps fans were concerned about the future of guard Greivis Vasquez after an impressive run to the NCAA Tournament. The “Vivacious Venezuelan” rewarded Terrapins fans by returning and leading the team to an ACC regular season title.

This year-we’re not expecting the news to be quite as good.

Gary Williams’ team is coming off a disappointing year that ended with the team even being left out of the NIT. Now it appears that All-ACC, All-American big man Jordan Williams will not give Maryland fans the same good news that Vasquez did two years ago.

If the news goes the wrong way Maryland fans, take heart. We still get to keep this thing he did to Jon Scheyer…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hAF6i1DvZ5s[/youtube]

7. Golf: PGA Tour Wells Fargo Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Charlotte, NC); Champions Tour Regions Tradition (Thursday & Friday 1pm, Saturday & Sunday 3pm from Shoal Creek, AL live on Golf Channel)

I have no idea what’s going on in the world of golf. Forrester kept saying something about Bubba Watson this morning, but I figured that was because he was involved in some sort of weird dream sequence Drew had.

But in golf-related news, former “Big Break” star Nicole Sikora recently changed her Facebook profile picture. I’m assuming she did so because she loves America…

sikora

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR Showtime Southern 500 (Saturday 7:30pm from Darlington, SC live on FOX)

So we’ve reached the part of this where I literally have nothing to say about NASCAR. As I’m writing this, I looked at my girlfriend and said “can you help me with some shtick?”

She said…”How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?”

I responded, “I don’t know.”

She said “A buck an ear.”

This has been the first episode of “a contribution from my girlfriend.” I’m sure it was a hit.

5. NBA Playoffs: Eastern Conference Semifinals: Boston Celtics vs. Miami Heat (Game 2 Tuesday 7pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 3 Saturday 8pm from Boston live on ABC, Game 4 Monday 7pm from Boston live on TNT), Atlanta Hawks vs. Chicago Bulls (Game 2 Wednesday 8pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 3 Friday 7pm from Atlanta live on ESPN, Game 4 Sunday 8pm from Atlanta live on TNT); Western Conference Semifinals: Memphis Grizzlies vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Game 2 Tuesday 9:30pm from Oklahoma City live on TNT, Game 3 Saturday 5pm from Memphis live on ESPN, Game 4 Monday 9:30pm from Memphis live on TNT), Dallas Mavericks vs. Los Angeles Lakers (Game 2 Wednesday 10:30pm from LA live on TNT, Game 3 Friday 9:30pm from Dallas live on ESPN, Game 4 Sunday 3:30pm from Dallas live on ABC)

Holy crap could Greivis Vasquez’s run in the NBA Playoffs be any more exciting? I’m not sure I can even find Memphis on a map, but I’m the biggest fan of the Grizz of all time!

So much so that I recently purchased this t-shirt…

grizz

4. Boxing: Manny Pacquiao vs. Shane Mosley (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime Pay-Per-View); Friday Night Fights: Gilberto Sanchez Leon vs. Diego Magdaleno (Friday 10pm from Las Vegas live on ESPN2)

Is there any way for me to make a joke about the fact that the biggest boxing matches of the year always come right after Cinco De Mayo and yet not have it sound racist?

Nope. Okay, moving on…

Cinco De Mayo is Thursday. I’ll be celebrating by drinking a lot of Pacifico and doing the Macarena.

That’s what people do on Cinco De Mayo, right?

3. NHL Playoffs: Washington Capitals vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (Game 3 Tuesday 6:30pm from Tampa live on Comcast SportsNet & VERSUS, Game 4 Wednesday 7pm from Tampa live on Comcast SportsNet, Game 5 if necessary Saturday 12:30pm from Verizon Center live on NBC, Game 6 if necessary Monday TBD from Tampa live on Comcast SportsNet & VERSUS)

So, while we all know I’m rooting for the Bolts during this series, but I encourage you to come join me at The Dark Horse in Bel Air Tuesday night to root on the Caps.

Yep, I’m as confused as you. But it’ll be fun because we’re drinking beer.

In the meantime, I share with you this picture. I’m not sure what it is, but here it is.

hockey

Hockey is so great.

2. College Lacrosse: Johns Hopkins @ Army (Friday 7pm from West Point, NY live on CBS Sports); Colgate @ Maryland (Saturday 3pm Byrd Stadium); ECAC Tournament: Loyola vs. Fairfield (Thursday 6pm from Denver live on AM1570 WNST), ECAC Championship Game (Saturday 1pm from Denver live on ESPNU-and AM1570 WNST if Greyhounds win Thursday); America East Tournament: UMBC @ Hartford (Wednesday 7pm from Hartford); NCAA Tournament Selection Show (Sunday 9pm live on ESPNU)

Best news about Selection Sunday? Monday will be BRACKET DAY! $15 to get in on my pool, but don’t be a pansy and pick all one seeds to get through. No way Syracuse, JHU, Maryland and Notre Dame all find their way to Baltimore!

Good luck to the Retrievers and Hounds, who will be fighting to get their way into the Dance. If they don’t make it, they can get a nice parting gift from me…this picture of Lisa Marie de Oliviera. (Thanks, Gorilla Mask!)

lisamarie

1. Horse Racing: Kentucky Derby (Saturday 4pm from Louisville live on NBC), Kentucky Oaks (Friday 5pm from Louisville live on VERSUS)

I’m really bitter I won’t be going.

But I’ll share a few things with you anyway. One-if you’re headed to Chuchill Downs, bring sunglasses…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAKeXKwzmco[/youtube]

Two, don’t bet on anyone Rick from Reisterstown tells you to bet on…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJxkbTYekdY[/youtube]

Three, if you don’t like this…move to Russia. This is the best moment in sports…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWbNPQ7XWG4[/youtube]

And as a bonus, here are my friends from Nappy Roots. This song is incredible. I can’t believe I won’t be there…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_f8EiNTuh8[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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