Tag Archive | "denver"

The 15-7-0 hopes no one volunteered the Houston Texans as tribute

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The 15-7-0 hopes no one volunteered the Houston Texans as tribute

Posted on 25 November 2013 by Glenn Clark

15 positive observations from the weekend of football, seven not so positive observations and we acknowledge a “zero” from outside the world of football. A reminder, there’s never any Ravens game analysis here. We do plenty of that elsewhere. It’s a trip through the weekend of football via videos, GIFs, memes, pictures, links, Tweets and shtick. This isn’t where we do Ravens stuff. You can find plenty of that…like…everywhere else on the site.

Did you know that you were exactly like a Major League Baseball GM? It’s true. For example: how many good baseball players have you acquired this offseason?

Same as Dan Duquette.

15 Positive Observations…

1. The singular purpose of Number 1 in this week’s 15-7-0 is to get to the part of Monday afternoon’s show where Ryan Chell as to pronounce the name “Seyi Ajirotutu” and then put my feet up, light a cigar and just plain enjoy being alive.

To celebrate the big win, Philip Rivers wore the lovely gift he received from Stan Marsh’s grandfather.

Here’s…I have no freaking idea what this is. NONE.

2. Navy QB Keenan Reynolds had seven touchdowns Friday night. CJ Spiller has one touchdown in 2013. It’s cool though, because I totally picked Reynolds as the second overall pick in my fantasy football draft. What’s that? I picked Spiller there? Oh I just quit.

Just when you thought Navy motivational videos couldn’t get any better.

Three weeks to go, but here’s this.

3. Towson will face the winner of Sacred Heart/Fordham in the second round of the FCS playoffs December 7th. I’m sorry, major college football fans. I probably should’ve started this post by explaining that “playoffs” are what is used by every other sport or at every other level to determine a champion. But hey! You guys are getting one soon too! Kinda.

Terrance West has 30TD’s. THIRTY. Do the Ravens have 30TD’s?

4. Oh, so Cam Newton rallied his team from down late in the second half to improve to 8-3? That’s supposed to get me to buy into him? I’ll buy into him when he beats the Bears. The ’86 Bears. Until then he’s just like every other freakishly athletic former Heisman Trophy winning specimen who has defeated the 49ers and Patriots in the last month. Dime a dozen.

Acting like LeBron James will probably be a great way to win over fans though.

5. The Steelers will come into the Thanksgiving night showdown in Baltimore winners of five of their last seven. It reminds me of a popular limerick my grandfather taught me growing up. It went like this. Ahem. “Screw the Steelers”. Wait, did I say it was a limerick? I meant “a drunken yell”. I get them confused so often.

No one will put this into words any better than Mike Polk.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b6NJVFlHOIY

Also, Billy Cundiff did something familiar.

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“The Reality Check” Week 12 NFL Power Rankings

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“The Reality Check” Week 12 NFL Power Rankings

Posted on 20 November 2013 by Glenn Clark

Glenn Clark’s Rankings…

32. Jacksonville Jaguars (Last Week 32)

They never got to leave the bottom spot. Sad story.

31. Houston Texans (29)

The Houston Texans are #31 in the power rankings. Andre Johnson plays for them. JJ Watt plays for them. OMG.

30. Atlanta Falcons (28)

The Atlanta Falcons are #30 in the power rankings. Matt Ryan plays for them. Tony Gonzalez plays for them. OMG.

29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (31)

The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are ranked ahead of teams not named the Jaguars. OMG.

28. Washington Redskins (27)

But some defense would be nice.

27. Minnesota Vikings (26)

Remember when Percy Harvin played for them?

26. Oakland Raiders (30)

The same record as the Ravens. Really.

25. Tennessee Titans (22)

Would be in great shape if they had a quarterback.

24. St. Louis Rams (24)

When they get back from the bye they still won’t have a quarterback either.

23. Buffalo Bills (25)

Not worth jumping from the top of a stadium over.

22. San Diego Chargers (19)

Too many games against the West for me to think they can get to nine wins.

21. Green Bay Packers (18)

I believe Don Majkowski is available.

20. Baltimore Ravens (17)

A HUGE nine days.

19. Cleveland Browns (16)

Still the Cleveland Browns.

18. Miami Dolphins (20)

I don’t believe it.

17. New York Giants (23)

They might win nine games.

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“The Reality Check” Week 11 NFL Power Rankings

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“The Reality Check” Week 11 NFL Power Rankings

Posted on 13 November 2013 by Glenn Clark

Glenn Clark’s Rankings…

32. Jacksonville Jaguars (Last Week 32)

The good news? They won. The bad news? So did all of the other bad teams.

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (31)

Same issue.

30. Oakland Raiders (26)

Pick up Rashad Jennings, they said.

29. Houston Texans (27)

I picked them to go to the Super Bowl. No. Really.

28. Atlanta Falcons (24)

28th, y’all. 28th.

27. Washington Redskins (23)

I mean, that’s just awful.

26. Minnesota Vikings (30)

So Jared Allen is still pretty good.

25. Buffalo Bills (21)

I’m sorry I ever got a good feeling about them.

24. St. Louis Rams (29)

I have no idea what to make of that. None.

23. New York Giants (28)

Totally in the NFC East mix.

22. Tennessee Titans (19)

So…does Jake Locker get another year?

21. Pittsburgh Steelers (25)

I think I’m going to say “Pittsburgher” out loud and giggle again.

20. Miami Dolphins (16)

But they might finish the season at Number 30.

19. San Diego Chargers (15)

Good news-Miami next.

18. Green Bay Packers (12)

J.R.R. Tolkien should make a hell of a quarterback.

17. Baltimore Ravens (22)

KNOCK IT DOWN!

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The 15-7-0 is sick of all these NFL bullies. You know, like the Jaguars. Big bullies.

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The 15-7-0 is sick of all these NFL bullies. You know, like the Jaguars. Big bullies.

Posted on 11 November 2013 by Glenn Clark

15 positive observations from the weekend of football, seven not so positive observations and we acknowledge a “zero” from outside the world of football. A reminder, there’s never any Ravens game analysis here. We do plenty of that elsewhere. It’s a trip through the weekend of football via videos, GIFs, memes, pictures, links, Tweets and shtick.

Unlike Richie Incognito, the 15-7-0 actually turned down Jay Glazer’s request for a Sunday morning interview. Also unlike Richie Incognito, the 15-7-0 only uses the term “expletive” once or twice per sentence. Personal rule. Except when I’m at church. Obviously.

15 Positive Observations…

1. Someone tell Rod Marinelli to get the champagne ready-there’s just one more domino to fall to keep the streak alive!

The Jaguars won a football game. Sure it was against Ryan Fitzpatrick, but it still counts!

Delanie Walker with the response of the day.

Via Terry McCormick of Titans Insider:

“It’s disgusting. I’m disappointed. I’m embarrassed. A team that’s 0-8 comes in here and beats us? Beats us on our home field, that’s 0-8, the Jaguars? Come on. Talking about first place? Talking about first place? We just got whooped by the Jaguars. We ain’t talking first place no more. It’s out the window. We’ve got to come back and play the Colts. I don’t know how everybody’s gonna handle it. I mean, we lost to the Jaguars.”

Truth.

2. Keenan Reynolds ran many yards beyond the line of scrimmage Saturday. As a Baltimore Ravens fan, I was admittedly unaware this was allowed within the rules of football.

Navy beat Hawai’i. You know what that means.

Also, the most adorable picture you’ll see all weekend.

3. While I’ve always been in favor of college football going to the “division four” concept, I’m pretty sure it will be tough for Alabama to sell tickets when they’re the only team playing in it.

But honestly, Nick Saban has one like half a billion football games. THIS was the one that made him want to jump into his quarterback’s arms?

Tigers really opened up the playbook to try to top the Tide…

I can’t explain why-but this right here seems like the absolute perfect reaction to this game.

OH SNAP, VERNE LUNDQUIST!

And elsewhere in the SEC, you guys remember the Manziel guy that one the Heisman Trophy that one time? The guy who plays at Texas A&M reminds me of him.

And finally elsewhere in the SEC (at least for now), Dorial Green-Beckham did what now?

4. So apparently the deal is that you actually CAN survive losing your head coach…but only if you have one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time on your roster.

Of course, Peyton Manning’s ankle was banged up during the course of the game-which apparently means some ref somewhere didn’t get the memo.

This lady is currently thinking to herself “there are like five people that come to games out here and I have to sit behind this one?”

5. This Riley Cooper guy is a nice little player. Any back story on this guy? He’s just kinda popped up out of nowhere these last couple of weeks. I bet he’s a really great dude.

This DeSean Jackson TD is obviously the responsibility of Aaron Rodgers not being in the game.

Elsewhere, LeSean McCoy is KILLING IT.

Clay Matthews played with a thing on his hand that is so ridiculous it would probably be disallowed even in the WWE.

Vinny Curry is lovable.

Also, Philly’s play call sheets are cooler than yours.

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“The Reality Check” Week 10 NFL Power Rankings

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“The Reality Check” Week 10 NFL Power Rankings

Posted on 06 November 2013 by Glenn Clark

Glenn Clark’s Rankings…

32. Jacksonville Jaguars (Last Week 32)

You know all of those “lost their bye week” jokes? So…the Jaguars…they actually did, right?

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (31)

I don’t care that they had a lead. They stink.

30. Minnesota Vikings (30)

Another primetime game! Yay!

29. St. Louis Rams (29)

Hey but there’s Zac Stacy and all.

28. New York Giants (28)

So which crappy running back plays this week?

27. Houston Texans (27)

A one week moratorium on making fun of them obviously.

26. Oakland Raiders (24)

Can the Ravens cancel any of their games to schedule the Raiders’ pass defense as a replacement?

25. Pittsburgh Steelers (23)

Could you imagine if while we were going through this, the Steelers were having a good season?

24. Atlanta Falcons (22)

What week? You know…what week does Matt Ryan get an “elbow injury”?

23. Washington Redskins (26)

MAYBE on their way back? MAYBE?

22. Baltimore Ravens (14)

Not a good football team.

21. Buffalo Bills (19)

TuelTime was actually kinda exciting.

20. Philadelphia Eagles (25)

Very plausible playoff team. Honestly.

19. Tennessee Titans (21)

Would I want Kendall Wright in a trade for Jordan Reed?

18. Cleveland Browns (20)

I still can’t believe that happened.

17. Arizona Cardinals (17)

I watched roughly as much Cards football on their bye week as I have every other week.

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“The Reality Check” Week 9 NFL Power Rankings

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“The Reality Check” Week 9 NFL Power Rankings

Posted on 30 October 2013 by Glenn Clark

Glenn Clark’s Rankings…

32. Jacksonville Jaguars (Last Week 32)

I should not be forced to have to say something about them every week.

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (31)

Mike Glennon might be auditioning for jobs elsewhere.

30. Minnesota Vikings (30)

Jared Allen is going to look really good not winning games the rest of the season.

29. St. Louis Rams (26)

That loss might have been the highlight of the season.

28. New York Giants (29)

Somehow…some way…not done.

27. Houston Texans (27)

Why do I feel like they might not be done either?

26. Washington Redskins (25)

How many more games does RGIII leave early this year?

25. Philadelphia Eagles (23)

Nothing about this team is fun to watch.

24. Oakland Raiders (28)

Terrelle Pryor however remains fun to watch.

23. Pittsburgh Steelers (21)

I gave them too much credit for beating a team that isn’t very good.

22. Atlanta Falcons (20)

If Matt Ryan is as good as everyone says he is, he survives the loss of his receivers.

21. Tennessee Titans (22)

Maybe now we’ll see some Kenny Britt?

20. Cleveland Browns (19)

Oh God. Please no.

19. Buffalo Bills (17)

Did you know Mario Williams was already in double digit sacks?

18. Miami Dolphins (16)

They were 3-0.

17. Arizona Cardinals (24)

A defense that is SO much better than you realize.

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The 15-7-0 thinks Calvin Johnson is probably worth screaming about

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The 15-7-0 thinks Calvin Johnson is probably worth screaming about

Posted on 28 October 2013 by Glenn Clark

15 positive observations from the weekend of football, seven not so positive observations and we acknowledge a “zero” from outside the world of football. A reminder, there’s never any Ravens game analysis here. We do plenty of that elsewhere. It’s a trip through the weekend of football via videos, GIFs, memes, pictures, links, Tweets and shtick.

Oh and candy corn. Actually this week…mostly candy corn.

15 Positive Observations…

1. I assume what Dez Bryant was yelling on the sidelines was something along the lines of “HEY COACH! YOU KNOW THOSE GUYS WHO SAY THAT WHEN YOU FACE THE LIONS YOU SHOULD LET CALVIN JOHNSON GET HIS BUT DON’T LET ANYONE ELSE BEAT YOU? THOSE GUYS ARE IDIOTS!”

Pretty much just simple lip-reading.

Dez would like to remind you why he’s yelling.

Megatron posted the second greatest receiving (yards) day in NFL history. No one even as much as blinked at any of it.

Matt Stafford’s fake spike is obviously the highlight of his entire life.

2. If there’s one person in the world you’re happy for right now it’s Navy kicker Nick Sloan. If there’s a second, it’s…umm….I don’t know, the guy who helped Naya Rivera pick out her sexy Carmen Sandiego Halloween costume?

You’ll remember Sloan missed an extra point in 2OT a week ago as the Midshipmen lost to Toledo. The result was different against Pitt Saturday.

If the Mids won, that means we get to enjoy something.

Oh and about that costume.

Yeah that works.

3. Ohio State would like you to go ahead and move on to your next question, please.

The Buckeyes demolished Penn State 63-14. They admitted after the game that they’re simply trying to keep up with their own Marching Band.

Elsewhere in the B1G, Michigan State really dug deep in their bag of tricks.

4. The Kansas City Chiefs are still undefeated. It’s probably about time that when we talk about them, we don’t use that same inflection on the term “undefeated” that we use when we describe Northern Illinois.

The more significant news from this game? JASON CAMPBELL DID SOMETHING!

5. No, Patriots fans were NOT booing their team at halftime. Of course not. Yeah, they were actually saying “YOOOUUUUUU…..guys are probably going to put together a dominant second half and easily beat the Dolphins.” Sometimes you just don’t hear all of that.

In fairness, Pats fans could have no idea their team had practiced the new sport of “synchronized intercepting”.

They should however have known their quarterback…

Despite the fact that the QB’s hand looked like this…

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Four things you can count on: Death, taxes, the 15-7-0 and Jay Cutler getting hurt

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Four things you can count on: Death, taxes, the 15-7-0 and Jay Cutler getting hurt

Posted on 21 October 2013 by Glenn Clark

15 positive observations from the weekend of football, seven not so positive observations and we acknowledge a “zero” from outside the world of football. A reminder, there’s never any Ravens game analysis here. We do plenty of that elsewhere. It’s a trip through the weekend of football via videos, GIFs, memes, pictures, links, Tweets and shtick.

You guys remember when the 15-7-0 was a fun time to gather ’round with family, tell tales and make fun of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Washington Redskins? Man…September was so great. Up yours, October!

15 Positive Observations…

1. I guess as it turns out, new Peyton > old Peyton. Oh and since we’re here, this is a reminder that the only Peyton to have ever been on the cover of Madden was Peyton Hillis. Hehe.

The Broncos WISH they had a better offense. Like…the Ravens’?

Also. The Colts’ punter is WAY tougher.

Also, Wes Welker’s catch didn’t suck.

2. As far as I’m concerned, the Towson Tigers are what’s happening in college football. Yes, the Towson Tigers. Nothing else. STOP FREAKING ASKING ALREADY.

Seriously. Don’t ask me about the other stuff. Just enjoy this.

3. Happy Monday. Florida State just scored. How was work today? Florida State just scored again. What are you thinking about for dinner tonight? Florida State scored again. Florida State scored again. Florida State scored again.

And also, Nick O’Leary put someone on THEIR ASS.

Your response, Tigers fans?

And here’s Kelvin Benjamin looking…EXACTLY LIKE A FLORIDA STATE RECEIVER.

College Gameday was at Clemson Saturday morning, happier times for Bill Murray.

4. The Bengals are in first place by two full games. If this particular 15-7-0 post were a meme, it would be the one with the guy with the hair saying “Aliens”.

And even with THIS?

And THIS?

But apparently AJ Green is ALSO good.

5. How was your Sunday? Mine was fine, you know, other than the watching Harry Douglas on my fantasy football bench and inventing knew curse words to scream aloud in response.

After the Falcons beat the Buccaneers, they sent a hazmat crew into the locker room because THIS IS WHAT IT’S COME TO IN TAMPA.

Perhaps the Falcons could have used a hazmat suit to cover Vincent Jackson.

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“The Reality Check” Week 7 NFL Power Rankings

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“The Reality Check” Week 7 NFL Power Rankings

Posted on 16 October 2013 by Glenn Clark

Glenn Clark’s Rankings…

32. Jacksonville Jaguars (Last Week 32)

When you watch the documentary about the 2013 Jags, the highlight will be halftime of last week’s game.

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (31)

Does the MRSA outbreak even end up in the Top 5 worst things to happen to them this season?

30. New York Giants (30)

They’re on Monday Night Football because ESPN is dying for you to find out what “The Blacklist” is all about.

29. Minnesota Vikings (27)

Oh-also they really wanted you to see an episode of The Voice, too.

28. Oakland Raiders (26)

They beat the Chargers?

27. Washington Redskins (23)

But their Special Teams Unit is number 6.798,544,213.

26. Pittsburgh Steelers (29)

Please tell me this wasn’t the start of them becoming the Steelers again.

25. Carolina Panthers (28)

There’s no in between with them, is there?

24. Atlanta Falcons (24)

Please Harry Douglas. Please Harry Douglas. Please Harry Douglas. Love, former Julio Jones fantasy owner.

23. Buffalo Bills (22)

Matt Flynn will definitely throw for 400 yards at some point this season, right?

22. Houston Texans (21)

They actually can’t get worse, can they?

21. St. Louis Rams (25)

So wait, is Zac Stacy a thing?

20. New York Jets (19)

It would be SOOO Jets for them to beat New England Sunday.

19. Tennessee Titans (18)

Jake Locker’s injury will be an undernoticed major storyline to the season when it’s over.

18. Philadelphia Eagles (20)

Nick Foles definitely starts every game the rest of the way, no?

17. Arizona Cardinals (15)

The good news is that Seattle doesn’t have a Vernon Davis.

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“The Reality Check” Week 6 NFL Power Rankings

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“The Reality Check” Week 6 NFL Power Rankings

Posted on 09 October 2013 by Glenn Clark

Glenn Clark’s Rankings…

32. Jacksonville Jaguars (Last Week 32)

Would they lose 63-0 to Florida State?

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (31)

The Miami (Ohio) job is open if Greg Schiano’s agent wants to get cracking.

30. New York Giants (29)

But only two games out of first place.

29. Pittsburgh Steelers (28)

They’ll probably be very competitive the rest of the season…in Conference USA.

28. Carolina Panthers (21)

I feel like such a fool for buying into them.

27. Minnesota Vikings (27)

I bet with Josh Freeman as quarterback, they end up as high as #20 on this list at some point.

26. Oakland Raiders (30)

Just when you think you’ve got them figured out.

25. St. Louis Rams (26)

You can only get so much credit for beating Jacksonville.

24. Atlanta Falcons (18)

Just cancel fantasy football season already.

23. Washington Redskins (23)

President Obama also thinks they should consider changing their defense.

22. Buffalo Bills (20)

Starting a quarterback from Duke cannot possibly lead to moving further up this list.

21. Houston Texans (16)

Since it will almost certainly be asked, it CAN get worse. It’s just hard to imagine it will.

20. Philadelphia Eagles (22)

Can only play the Giants twice a season unfortunately.

19. New York Jets (25)

I know they’re 3-2, I just can’t believe they’ll be 6-4 in five weeks.

18. Tennessee Titans (11)

You wouldn’t wish Ryan Fitzpatrick upon anyone.

17. Dallas Cowboys (17)

It’s enough to make you think they’ll be okay in that division.

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