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Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

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Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 14 October 2010 by Glenn Clark

Happy Thursday!

(And Happy Birthday to the boss-Nestor Aparicio-who Drew Forrester so eloquently described this morning as “looking good for 47.”)

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because tomorrow night is Homecoming at Perry Hall High School; and I can’t wait to see the Gators stomp some Franklin ass!

Ahh Homecoming…a chance to dress up and have your parents snap awkward pictures of you after your girlfriend stabs you in the chest with a boutineer. Speaking of boutineers…umm…why the hell did we ever wear boutineers anyway?

I remember my 12th grade Homecoming…

glennhomecoming

I couldn’t decide what to do with my hair that day-so I just shaved it off. When the girl I was dating at the time (she was a very nice girl named Kristen who-as you can tell-was MUCH too pretty to be dating a clown like me) saw what I had done, I think it would be fair to say she wasn’t exactly thrilled.

How awesome was I though? STX lanyard sticking out of my pocket to show some love for my lacrosse friends…NICE.

I don’t care what you say. 10 years later-that was a sharp look. I hope the PHHS class of 2011 will say the same thing when I’m working for them in ten years.

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. WNST.net’s Glenn Clark says Ravens not concerned with “Tom Brady Rule” against New England Patriots Sunday

While I have a funny feeling that at some point Sunday in Foxborough there’s going to be a close call that goes Brady’s way-this is OF COURSE the most appropriate response for Ravens defenders to have.

They obviously cannot head up to Gillette Stadium worrying about whether or not officials will be protecting Tom Brady too much. It might happen-but they cannot alter the way they play based on that. As Jarret Johnson said yesterday, players must simply be aware of where they are on the field; and what the appropriate way is for them to make a hit.

But…for snitzengiggles…here’s the “Tom Brady in a dress” picture from my friends at B-More Birds’ Nest that everyone enjoys so bad…

bradydress

2. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says John Harbaugh ‘still hopeful’ Ed Reed will return next week

Which makes two of us. Probably more than two of us in fact.

While I still wouldn’t be stunned if Reed (and Brendon Ayanbadejo) are held off until after the Bye Week just to get them some more time to prepare; especially considering that the Ravens are playing the Buffalo Bills at M&T Bank Stadium next Sunday-maybe not the most imposing of opponents.

This would buy the Ravens some more time to make some tough roster decisions-including Jared Gaither of course.

As far as Matt Lawrence is concerned, I have a bad feeling-which was SEMI-confirmed by Harbaugh yesterday-that Matt’s time in Charm City might be coming to a close in the next few weeks.

If so, he’ll always be my second favorite Matt Lawrence, right behind my man “Jack Hunter”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv9VJWh4FOg[/youtube]

3. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Mike Duffy says Haloti Ngata (knee), Ray Rice (knee), Le’Ron McClain (shoulder) missed practice Wednesday

Please everyone calm down. As of this moment, there’s no reason for us to think that any of these guys won’t be on the field Sunday. This is the 6th week of the season. Clearly guys are beat up. Sometimes they need a day off.

But if for some reason one of these guys were to miss the game, I’d consider picking up Jessica Jane-Clement if I were Ozzie Newsome. (Thanks Guyism!)

janeclement

4. CSNBaltimore.com’s John Eisenberg says Pats not out for ‘revenge’ Sunday

And as Eisenberg rightly points out, some Ravens players are skeptical-including Ray Rice and Chris Carr.

Of COURSE the Patriots will want revenge Sunday. They would want to win against ANY team they’d be playing, but there will something a little more special about playing the team that embarrassed them so badly in the Wild Card round of the AFC playoffs last year.

This is where the Ravens want to be. They want to be the team that others are measuring themselves against, and are just a bit more excited to face. Speaking of which…

5. ESPNBoston.com’s Mike Reiss says Ravens ‘measuring stick’ for Patriots

And before we move on from the Ravens, a few things…

-We’ll be out at 1 Winning Drive in Owings Mills again today as the Ravens get back on the practice field; coordinators Cam Cameron, Greg Mattison and Jerry Rosburg are scheduled to meet with the media before practice. Make sure you’re following us on Twitter (@WNST), tuned in to AM1570 WNST and checking in at WNST.net for updates.

-Did you miss Ravens OL Scott Kooistra on “The Morning Reaction” with Drew Forrester Thursday on AM1570 WNST? Make sure you head over to the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net to check it out! Other things you can find in the Audio Vault include…

  • Plenty of audio from Owings Mills Wednesday-including Harbaugh, Joe Flacco, Rice, Ray Lewis, Fabian Washington, Derrick Mason and Johnson
  • Sean Salisbury (“Sean Unfiltered”-Voice America Sports Radio)-who went around the NFL with Drew Thursday
  • Andrew Brandt (National Football Post/Former Green Bay Packers Executive)-who talked Brett Favre, Ben Roethlisberger, etc. with Drew Thursday
  • Pete Caringi (UMBC Soccer Coach)-who previewed the Retrievers’ big Friday night game (which will be seen on Fox Soccer Channel) with Drew Thursday
  • Paul Cantabene (Mustangs Lacrosse Coach)-who joined Drew Thursday for the Stevenson Coaches’ Report
  • Our Thursday Morning “Cheap Shots from the Bleachers”-as Drew sent high school athletics a low blow, and Glenn Clark sent a low blow to the end of “Midnight Madness”
  • Joseph Gannascoli (“Vito” from The Sopranos)-who joined Rex Snider Wednesday on “The Afternoon Drive” to talk New York Yankees and MLB playoffs
  • Steve Martin (ACC Network)-who previewed Maryland-Clemson with Rex Thursday
  • Al Seamonson (Maryland LB Coach)-who joined Thyrl Nelson Wednesday for “The Terrapins Coaches’ Report”
  • Howard Stevens (Former Baltimore Colts RB)-who joined Thyrl on “The Mobtown Sports Beat” Wednesday

It’s all in the Audio Vault, so make sure you check it out today…then of course thank me later. (Like Drake said!)

6. The Sun’s Dan Connolly says ‘don’t expect’ Orioles to sign Cliff Lee

Sadly, Cliff Lee costs money.

If he didn’t, maybe he could have a future with the O’s.

That’s not a low blow. It’s just a fact. Thanks Ian Eagle.

7. WNST.net’s Jay Trucker says Cesar Izturis has ‘good chance’ of returning to Birds

Hear that? That’s the sound of me POUNDING MY HEAD AGAINST A TABLE!

Instead of getting a Japanese SS, Andy MacPhail should consider Anna Semenovich. I know I would. (Thanks The Smoking Jacket!)

annas

8. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Ralph Friedgen told media on ACC Conference call that Terps haven’t decided between Danny O’Brien, Jamarr Robinson as starter Saturday at Clemson

At this point I feel like I might end up in the QB rotation Saturday at Memorial Stadium.

Ralph is sticking to this “we’re playing both guys” thing, and that’s fine. But someone has to be “THE” quarterback. It’s much less about who is starting to me-much more about who is going to play if the game is hanging in the balance in the 4th quarter.

It’s too easy to say “whoever has the hot hand.”

I’ll say it probably needs to be Danny O’Brien if the Terps are going to win.

9. Washington Post’s Eric Prisbell says Travis Baltz will kick for Terrapins again Saturday against Tigers

And before I move on from Maryland, a reminder that we will be at Comcast Center in College Park this afternoon for Maryland basketball Media Day. We’ll have audio from Gary Williams, Sean Mosley, Jordan Williams and more, so again-make sure you’re following us on Twitter, checking WNST.net and staying tuned to AM1570 WNST!

10. Annapolis Capital’s Bill Wagner says Dick Vermeil to present Frank Gansz Trophy to Navy-SMU winner Saturday

And if I played for the Midshipmen or the Stangs, I’d think that was cool.

Of course, I’d probably think it was cooler if it was Taylor Momsen. (Thanks Drunken Stepfather!)

taylormomsen

And finally, I leave you with this.

Dave Matthews Band did a cover of Peter Gabriel’s “Sledgehammer”? How did I possibly never know?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9i4YyiUHuoM[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 08 October 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Preseason NBA-Atlanta Hawks @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Milwaukee Bucks @ Washington Wizards (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet and NBA TV); Auto Racing: NASCAR Bank of America 500 (Saturday 7:30pm from Charlotte live on ABC); Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 120-Michael Bisping vs. Yoshihiro Akiyama (Saturday 7pm from London on SpikeTV)

10. Chelsea Handler (Friday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena); Seth Meyers (Saturday 8pm Patriot Center); Kevin Hart (Saturday 8pm & 11pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); Halloween Hootenanny feat. Rob Zombie & Alice Cooper (Sunday 3pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Aaron Lewis (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live); Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers (Wednesday 7:30pm Recher Theatre); Pharoahe Monch (Sunday 8pm Sonar); The Ataris (Monday 8pm Ottobar); Days of the New (Friday 7pm Bourbon Street); Victor Wooten (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Blood, Sweat & Tears (Wednesday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head On Stage), Jackie Greene (Thursday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Bone Thugs-n-Harmony (Wednesday 10pm 9:30 Club), Pepper (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club), Sara Bareilles (Monday 7:30pm 9:30 Club); Craig Ferguson (Saturday 7pm Warner Theatre); Darius Rucker “Charleston, SC 1966″ available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Alice Cooper still plays music? I thought he was just a golfer nowadays?!? I’ll probably miss his show, but it’s not because Rob Zombie doesn’t kick ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqQuihD0hoI[/youtube]

I was never the biggest Staind fan, but I’d be down to hear Aaron Lewis channel Eddie Vedder for sure…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sumiU0u2J9s[/youtube]

It’s been a long time since Bone Thugs was relevant, but after doing some research, they’re still pretty freaking good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsBV-P9gIC0[/youtube]

Make fun of me all you want, but I’ve already pre-ordered Darius Rucker’s disc on iTunes. It is what it is…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap7HzFlOXq4[/youtube]

9. Jackass 3D in theaters (Friday)

This is what a comedy is supposed to be all about. Forget about a plot, forget about a compelling storyline, and for god sakes don’t try to tie it up with some sort of feel good story. Just punch each other in the nuts and let me laugh, damnit…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKwjU_pSSW4[/youtube]

8. Baltimore Beer Week: Blues & Brews Festival (Friday 7pm 8×10 Club), Chesapeake Real Ale Festival (Saturday 1pm Pratt Street Ale House), Baltimore Beer Festival (Sunday 12pm Canton Waterfront Park)

If I could, I would attend all of these events. Seriously. I knew this is going to sound crazy to most of you, but these are the two things I love the most. Charm City…and Beer.

For those of you who have asked (and I thank you for considering me an expert!), here are my Top 3 pumpkin-based brews in honor of the Fall.

5-Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale

bluemoonpumpkin

4-Michelob Jack’s Pumpkin Spice Ale

jackspumpkin

3-Brooklyn Brewery Post Road Pumpkin Ale

postroad

2-Four Peaks Pumpkin Porter

porter

1-Dogfish Head Punkin Ale

punkinale

7. Boxing: Antonio Tarver vs. Nagy Aguilera (Friday 11pm from Miami, Oklahoma live on Showtime), WBC Heavyweight Championship-Shannon Briggs vs. Vitali Klitschko (Saturday 5pm from Hamburg, Germany live on ESPN3.com), Lucian Bute vs. Jesse Brinkley (Friday 9:30pm from Montreal live on ESPN3.com)

Shannon Briggs is fighting Vitali Klitschko for the WBC Heavyweight title. Yes, this is the same belt previously held by Lennox Lewis, Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield, Riddick Bowe, Larry Holmes, Ken Norton and Muhammad Ali.

Of course, it was also held by Buster Douglas and Hasim Rahman, but even they had to beat a legitimate champion to become champion. I’m pretty sure at this point we’re not far from seeing Joey Buttafuoco get a title shot…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuLWWDoN85E[/youtube]

6. High School Football: Glen Burnie @ Old Mill (Friday 6:30pm), Franklin @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm)

So I screwed up. Last Friday was NOT PHHS’s Homecoming game. I was given bad information by Barry Aparicio-who is now my roommate. A-hole.

It was particularly embarrassing when I called Gators Athletic Director Kathy Graybeal and asked her for passes to the game. (Umm…Glenn…the Homecoming game is NEXT week. MY BAD!)

There’s good news in all of this however. The good news is that I never got an answer from Daniela Pane about my Homecoming date proposal last week…

dpane

(Edit from GMC: Daniela is the person in the picture who WASN’T in the movie “Revenge of the Nerds.” Yes…the hot one.)

Here’s the deal. Daniela Pane (who is appearing in an upcoming episode of “1000 Ways to Die” on SpikeTV) is the second most talented, second most successful, second best-looking member of Perry Hall’s graduating class of 2001. I’d tell you who was first, but you already know it’s spelled “Glenn Clark.”

So Daniela, you have another week to consider my offer. I think we’d be a fantastic Homecoming couple. Boomer Sooner’s sister is in town, so she’s busy. Plus…she’d understand? Maybe not? You know, let’s worry about that some other time. The point is…the offer is on the table. I know you live in California, but it’s Friday night. You have until then to get home. No pressure.

5. NHL: New York Islanders @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet and VERSUS), Washington Capitals @ Nashville Predators (Saturday 8pm from Nashville live on Comcast SportsNet)

The Capitals played some games last weekend…blah blah blah here’s the deal. I want this Phoenix Coyotes jersey. Who wants to buy it for me???

yotes

It’s only $150. Just get it now.

4. Soccer: Team USA vs. Columbia (Tuesday 8pm from Chester, PA live on ESPN2); MLS-DC United @ Chicago Fire (Saturday 4pm from Chicago live on Comcast SportsNet); College Soccer: Clemson @ Maryland (Saturday 7pm Ludwig Field); Boston University @ UMBC (Friday 8pm from UMBC Stadium live on Fox Soccer Channel)

This one is going to be tough. I love America, we all know that. But Sofia Vergara (of “Modern Family” fame) is from Columbia…

sofia

3. College Basketball: Maryland Madness (Friday 7:45pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet) Maryland Media Day (Thursday Comcast Center)

Should the Terrapins still be holding Midnight Madness at…you know…midnight…in order to honor the fact that the whole event STARTED with Lefty Driesell in College Park? I think so, but no one pays me to think. Thank God for that.

The problem is…we’ve got a lot of other very important things going on in College Park at midnight on Friday night…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReFjlhFgHAE[/youtube]

Wasn’t what you were expecting, was it?

2. College Football: Maryland @ Clemson (Saturday 12pm from Clemson, SC live on ACC Network-WJZ 13 in Charm City), SMU @ Navy (Saturday 3:45pm from Navy-Marine Corps Stadium live on CBS College Sports)

My 12th grade journalism teacher went to Clemson. I didn’t like the Tigers then, and I certainly don’t like them now. Howard’s Rock? More like, take that stupid rock and hit someone upside the head with it, am I right?

Wait…what’s that you say???

clemson

Don’t try….

1. NFL: Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patriots (Sunday 1pm from Foxborough live on CBS)

Think it’s about time for another trip to Gillette Stadium, huh?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xEmhF9oPMc[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Morning Reaction Friday Football Picks and Comment

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Morning Reaction Friday Football Picks and Comment

Posted on 08 October 2010 by Glenn Clark

Here are this weekend’s football picks. Through two weeks in the season, Drew Forrester is 42-20 while Glenn Clark is 43-19…

Broncos/Ravens: 24-6 Baltimore (Drew), 24-13 Baltimore (Glenn)
Jaguars/Bills: 20-19 Buffalo (Drew), 14-13 Buffalo (Glenn)
Chiefs/Colts: 27-23 Indianapolis (Drew), 31-16 Indianapolis (Glenn)
Rams/Lions: 24-13 Detroit (Drew), 20-17 Detroit (Glenn)
Falcons/Browns: 24-17 Atlanta (Drew), 21-20 Cleveland (Glenn)
Buccaneers/Bengals: 31-10 Cincinnati (Drew), 17-10 Cincinnati (Glenn)
Bears/Panthers: 16-14 Carolina (Drew), 13-9 Carolina (Glenn)
Packers/Redskins: 24-21 Washington (Drew), 30-16 Green Bay (Glenn)
Giants/Texans: 27-13 Houston (Drew), 27-24OT Houston (Glenn)
Saints/Cardinals: 38-13 New Orleans (Drew), 34-7 New Orleans (Glenn)
Chargers/Raiders: 21-16 San Diego (Drew), 21-16 San Diego (Glenn)
Titans/Cowboys: 26-20 Dallas (Drew), 26-23OT Dallas (Glenn)
Eagles/49ers: 24-10 San Francisco (Drew), 17-13 San Francisco (Glenn)
Vikings/Jets: 20-10 New York (Drew), 23-19 Minnesota (Glenn)
Navy/Wake Forest: 24-10 Demon Deacons (Drew), 16-13 Midshipmen (Glenn)
James Madison/Towson: 24-10 Dukes (Drew), 35-7 Dukes (Glenn)
Arundel/Glen Burnie: 14-13 Gophers (Drew), 44-0 Wildcats (Glenn)
Woodlawn/Perry Hall: 33-6 Warriors (Drew), 24-12 Gators (Glenn)

ravensbroncos

For a detailed explanation of all of our picks, visit the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net!

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

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Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 07 October 2010 by Glenn Clark

Happy Thursday!

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because I’m thinking about the Darius Rucker show at Pier Six Pavilion on October 22nd, and just happened to find this gem as I was doing so…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nX3-S649cvo[/youtube]

As I already explained to Boomer Sooner, if Rucker does Purple Rain on the 22nd-I cannot be held responsible for my actions.

By the way, I’ve been posting a ton of stuff on Facebook this week (you can add me as a friend by searching “Glenn Clark” and adding the best looking guy you find). I’ve been adding a bunch of stuff to my iPod, so I’ve been sharing some of the things I find…like this surreal combo between Soulive and Robert Randolph…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5S3Hb1r-gm0[/youtube]

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. WNST.net’s Glenn Clark says Ravens believe Denver Broncos atop NFL in passing offense thanks in part to YAC, missed tackles

This probably isn’t the case with Demaryius Thomas; but it certainly is the case with Brandon Lloyd, Jabar Gaffney and Eddie Royal. If the Ravens are going to keep Kyle Orton and company in check Sunday, they’re going to have to make sure tackling part of the gameplan. Of course, I guess they should always make sure tackling part of the gameplan.

The fact is that there’s almost NO chance the Broncos will have success running the ball; but they might get time to throw it given the Ravens’ lack of pass rush. If Orton gets time, he’ll find his targets. The Ravens just need to make those targets don’t get out of their grasp and get downfield.

2. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says DE Paul Kruger (knee) not expected to return until after bye week

I know I already made a suggestion yesterday, but I think it’s fair for me to make another. With the Ravens needing help at DE for a little while, I think it’s fair that they consider going with Helen Flanagan. (Thanks Guyism!)

flanagan

3. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Ryan Mink says Kruger, Tavares Gooden, Jared Gaither, Donte’ Stallworth all OUT Sunday

And we knew all four guys would be out, so this comes as no surprise. As far as who else will be down Sunday-my guess would be Scott Kooistra, Edgar Jones, Arthur Jones and Lamar Divens.

As far as Gaither’s concerned, he told us yesterday he “can’t wait” to get back on the field this season and maintained that he didn’t need surgery. While I by no means believe Gaither is above criticism, I ABSOLUTELY think that the conspiracy theorists who believe Gaither is simply taking part in an elaborate holdout orchestrated by Drew Rosenhaus are absolutely goofy.

Faking a back injury doesn’t earn you any money…anywhere…ever.

As far as IR is concerned, the Ravens can’t just simply place Gaither on IR to “wash their hands” of the situation as some might suggest. They know that there isn’t a single player available who is NEARLY as good as Gaither. Not in the same galaxy. Therefore, they have to be willing to be just a bit more patient with their big man.

It’s definitely frustrating.

4. CSNBaltimore.com’s John Eisenberg says Ravens amongst Super Bowl contenders after win over Pittsburgh Steelers

I couldn’t agree more. In fact, I said the same thing on Facebook and Twitter (follow us @WNST) Sunday night; then had to fight with not just folks from the Steel City, but also folks that are Ravens fans!

Winning at Heinz Field clarified that the Ravens are legitimately amongst the best teams in the AFC. I’m not sure why anyone would want to argue with that, but for some reason, certain fans are. It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me.

The team is a Super Bowl contender. It doesn’t mean they’re going to hoist the Vince Lombardi Trophy in Arlington, it doesn’t even mean they’re going to play in the game. But it does mean they have a real opportunity, which as of right now can’t be said of other teams-like the Miami Dolphins.

5. The AP’s David Ginsburg says DT Haloti Ngata ‘humble’ star

Before we move on from the Ravens, a couple of things…

-The Ravens are back on the practice field today at 1 Winning Drive; and we will of course be in Owings Mills to cover it. We are expected to hear from Offensive Coordinator Cam Cameron, Defensive Coordinator Greg Mattison, Special Teams Coordinator Jerry Rosburg and LB Terrell Suggs amongst others today. Make sure you’re tuned in to AM1570 WNST, checking us on Twitter and staying right here at WNST.net!

-Did you miss Lamar Divens with Drew Forrester Thursday on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST? Make sure you head over to the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net today to check it out. Some other things you can find in the Audio Vault include…

  • Sean Salisbury (“Sean Unfiltered”-Voice America Sports Radio)-who joined Drew Thursday morning to go around the NFL
  • John Plevyak (Stevenson University Soccer Coach)-who checked in with Drew Thursday to discuss the Mustangs’ big win Wednesday over Salisbury
  • Denison Cabral (Baltimore Blast legend)-who discussed the end of his tenure in Baltimore with Drew Thursday
  • Vic Carucci (NFL.com)-who joined Rex Snider Wednesday on “The Afternoon Drive” to discuss Joe Flacco and more
  • Barry Barnes (Fanhouse)-who went around the AFC North Wednesday with Rex
  • Charles Bankins (Terrapins ST/TE Coach)-who joined Thyrl Nelson Wednesday for the “Terrapins Coaches Report”
  • Anthony Castrovince (MLB.com)-who predicted Roy Halladay’s no-hitter (REALLY) with Thyrl Wednesday on “The Mobtown Sports Beat”
  • Joe Posnanski (Sports Illustrated)-who discussed all things MLB postseason with Thryl Wednesday
  • All sorts of Audio from 1 Winning Drive Wednesday-including John Harbaugh, Joe Flacco, Ray Lewis, Fabian Washington, Jared Gaither, Jarret Johnson, Lardarius Webb, Paul Kruger, TJ Houshmandzadeh and Tavares Gooden

It’s all in the Audio Vault, so your day is planned AGAIN. Could I do anything more for you???

6. Baltimore Business Journal’s Ryan Sharrow says Orioles ratings up 10% on MASN

Not in Glenn Clark’s house. But not because I don’t love the O’s…just because I’m too busy watching Billy The Exterminator…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvzQo12I5Bk[/youtube]

7. Washington Examiner’s Thom Loverro says Nationals slugger Adam Dunn could end up in Charm City

YES.PLEASE.

Seriously, how do we get him here? I mean, does he need my help in packing? I’m available-I just moved myself last week in a Tropical Storm. I’m ready to go.

My guess is that the Birds DON’T get Adam Dunn from the Nats. Mostly because it will require money. But if they come away with Diora Baird this offseason, I’ll consider it an upgrade. (Thanks FHM via Busted Coverage!)

diorabaird

8. The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Buck Showalter to make decision on Birds’ staff by Friday

And before we move on from the Orioles, a couple of things…

-Ummm….

9. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Maryland TE David Stinebaugh expected to miss 4-6 weeks with MCL injury

I feel like things are so thin at TE for Ralph Friedgen’s team at this point that I actually might be pressed into taking a handful of snaps against Clemson. I’m ready, for the record.

Also, this sorta dampens my plans to go check out my Perry Hall Gators against Woodlawn on Friday night. I mean, I’ll still go-but I just won’t be as thrilled talking PHHS football with our new greatest alum hurt.

But Go Gators anyway!

10. UMTerps.com says Maryland Madness to open Terps’ basketball season next Friday at Comcast Center

In honor of Lefty Driesell, they should leave it at midnight. Despite that, I’ll certainly be in College Park Friday night to celebrate Gary Williams’ newest team. But if somehow Hiromi Oshima were to be there next Friday, I think I’d be willing to forgive the fact that it isn’t at midnight. (Thanks The Smoking Jacket!)

oshima

And finally, I leave you with this.

I gave you Keenan Cahill doing Ke$ha yesterday. Apparently he does Usher and Katy Perry as well…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4ChcMtiiic[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lm_n3hg-Gbg[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Morning Reaction Friday Football Picks and Comment

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Morning Reaction Friday Football Picks and Comment

Posted on 01 October 2010 by Glenn Clark

Here are this weekend’s football picks. Through two weeks in the season, Drew is 34-14 while Glenn is 32-16…

Broncos/Titans: Tennessee 27-17 (Drew Forrester), Tennessee 23-13 (Glenn Clark)
Ravens/Steelers: Baltimore 22-20 (Drew), Baltimore 20-16 (Glenn)
Bengals/Browns
: Cincinnati 17-10 (Drew), Cleveland 21-17 (Glenn)
Lions/Packers
: Green Bay 38-20 (Drew), Green Bay 34-20 (Glenn)
Panthers/Saints
: New Orleans 34-13 (Drew), New Orleans 31-13 (Glenn)
49ers/Falcons
: San Francisco 27-20 (Drew), Atlanta 24-16 (Glenn)
Seahawks/Rams
: St. Louis 24-20 (Drew), St. Louis 28-24 (Glenn)
Jets/Bills
: New York 27-6 (Drew), New York 17-7 (Glenn)
Colts/Jaguars
: Indianapolis 30-20 (Drew), Indianapolis 27-6 (Glenn)
Texans/Raiders
: Houston 23-20OT (Drew), Houston 26-13 (Glenn)
Cardinals/Chargers
: San Diego 27-23 (Drew), San Diego 23-14 (Glenn)
Redskins/Eagles
: Philadelphia 24-17 (Drew), Philadelphia 20-10 (Glenn)
Bears/Giants
: New York 21-20 (Drew), New York 26-23OT (Glenn)
Patriots/Dolphins
: Miami 26-24 (Drew), New England 31-21 (Glenn)
Duke/Maryland
: Terrapins 31-24 (Drew), Terrapins 20-13 (Glenn)
Navy/Air Force
: Falcons 38-24 (Drew), Falcons 31-23 (Glenn)
UMass/Towson
: Minutemen 30-13 (Drew), Minutemen 42-6 (Glenn)
Glen Burnie/Broadneck
: Gophers 27-20 (Drew), Bruins 44-6 (Glenn)
Perry Hall/Kenwood
: Bluebirds 39-6 (Drew), Gators 26-12 (Glenn)

roethlisberger

For a detailed explanation of all of our picks, visit the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net!

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Morning Reaction Friday Football Picks and Comment

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Morning Reaction Friday Football Picks and Comment

Posted on 24 September 2010 by Glenn Clark

Here are this weekend’s football picks. Through two weeks in the season, Drew is 23-9 while Glenn is 22-10…

Falcons/Saints: Atlanta 27-24 (Drew Forrester), New Orleans 24-17 (Glenn Clark)
49ers/Chiefs: Kansas City 23-21 (Drew), San Francisco 19-14 (Glenn)
Lions/Vikings: Minnesota 30-17 (Drew), Minnesota 26-17 (Glenn)
Cowboys/Texans: Houston 27-17 (Drew), Houston 31-21 (Glenn)
Titans/Giants: New York 24-20 (Drew), Tennessee 16-13 (Glenn)
Bills/Patriots: New England 33-10 (Drew), New England 34-7 (Glenn)
Browns/Ravens: Baltimore 27-3 (Drew), Baltimore 20-6 (Glenn)
Steelers/Buccaneers: Tampa Bay 13-10 (Drew), Pittsburgh 13-7 (Glenn)
Bengals/Panthers: Cincinnati 27-13 (Drew), Cincinnati 17-9 (Glenn)
Redskins/Rams: Washington 23-20 (Drew), Washington 23-12 (Glenn)
Eagles/Jaguars: Philadelphia 34-17 (Drew), Philadelphia 17-7 (Glenn)
Colts/Broncos: Indianapolis 31-23 (Drew), Indianapolis 31-17 (Glenn)
Chargers/Seahawks: Seattle 24-20 (Drew), San Diego 26-13 (Glenn)
Raiders/Cardinals: Arizona 17-13 (Drew), Oakland 20-17 (Glenn)
Jets/Dolphins: Miami 23-13 (Drew), New York 17-16 (Glenn)
Packers/Bears: Green Bay 30-17 (Drew), Green Bay 30-20 (Glenn)
Florida International/Maryland: Terrapins 27-20 (Drew), Terrapins 23-13 (Glenn)
Towson/Columbia: Lions 27-24 (Drew), Tigers 14-7 (Glenn)
Parkville/Perry Hall: Knights 44-0 (Drew), Gators 22-6 (Glenn)
Glen Burnie/Northeast: Gophers 24-20 (Drew), Eagles 40-0 (Glenn)

ravensbrowns

For an explanation of all of our picks, head on over to the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net!

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 21 September 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Soccer-NASL: Portland Timbers @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 4pm Paul Angelo Russo Stadium-Calvert Hall); MLS-Houston Dynamo @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet); NBA-Washington Wizards Pep Rally (Monday 10pm Presidents Park)

10. Virgin Mobile FreeFest feat. Ludacris, T.I., Joan Jett, M.I.A., Jimmy Eat World, Temper Trap (Saturday 12pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Sunday In The Country feat. Lady Antebellum, Eric Church, Joe Nichols (Sunday 2pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Casey Cares Foundation Bash feat. Night Ranger (Saturday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); Broken Lizard Live (Friday 9pm Recher Theatre), Laughing Colors (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Anti-Flag (Tuesday 8pm Ottobar); Shooter Jennings (Saturday 8pm 8×10 Club); Big Head Todd and the Monsters (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club); WMZQ Fall Fest feat. Sugarland, Little Big Town (Saturday 4pm Jiffy Lube Live); Alice In Chains (Sunday 7pm Patriot Center); !!! (Wednesday 8pm Black Cat); Lewis Black (Thursday-Saturday 8pm Warner Theatre); Macy Gray (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Zac Brown Band “You Get What You Give” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday), John Legend & The Roots “Wake Up” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday), Maroon 5 “Hands All Over” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Despite the fact that Pavement and Thievery Corporation do nothing for me, I am REALLY excited about the bill at VirginFest. Especially the (particularly underrated) Temper Trap…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C8e7nNLZNs[/youtube]

I have no idea if I’m going to make it down to Columbia for VirginFest, but I KNOW I’m getting to Columbia on Sunday for WPOC’s event after the Ravens beat the Browns; mostly because “Boomer Sooner” and I happen to really dig the new Lady Antebellum tune…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaOKbvpxnTo[/youtube]

BROKEN LIZARD LIVE?!?!? How can I possibly not be in Towson Friday night? Super Troopers? Beerfest? Might be NSFW, but also amazing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SOsPCL4hXw[/youtube]

It’s very difficult logistically to get to Washington to see Lewis Black, but it would certainly be worth it. You can bring grandma, the language is right up her alley. Just NSFW…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mCDZMWVWuc[/youtube]

I saw Zac Brown Band 3 times this summer (Preakness and two Dave Matthews Band shows), so I’ve heard a lot of their new record. I really dig “Settle Me Down”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRD-MyRS8KU[/youtube]

9. “30 Rock” season premiere (Thursday 8:30pm NBC), “The Office” season premiere (Thursday 9pm NBC); “Modern Family” season premiere (Wednesday 9pm ABC); “The Simpsons” season premiere (Sunday 8pm FOX), “The Cleveland Show” season premiere (Sunday 8:30pm FOX), “Family Guy” season premiere (Sunday 9pm FOX)

All of these shows are hilarious.  I give you Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTj47rcuM-4[/youtube]

And while a bit played out, Jim & Pam’s wedding from “The Office” is pretty strong…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX7iwwB9zQ4[/youtube]

I just got into “Modern Family” last season. This is my mistake…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaPKYd2XujY[/youtube]

I have no idea if The Simpsons have this awesome of an intro to go to again; but I can certainly hope…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faRlFsYmkeY[/youtube]

Apparently The Cleveland Show is bringing Kanye West back this season. Was pretty good last year…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWjqEgDymus[/youtube]

And my favorite clip in Family Guy history??? “Who wants CHOWDER?!?!?”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eYSpIz2FjU[/youtube]

8. Baltimore Book Festival (Friday-Sunday 12pm Mt. Vernon Place)

I’m not much of a bookworm, but I know some other folks who are. Myself, I might stop by the Festival. Why? Have you heard who’s going to be there???

ventura

7. NHL: Washington Capitals Training Camp scrimmage (Tuesday 12pm Kettler Capitals IcePlex)

The Caps are also playing a couple of preseason games at Columbus and Nashville this week; but there’s no TV so I didn’t include them.

I’m not one to “Rock The Red”, but I will admit that I’m happy to have hockey back for two reasons.

One…Carrie Underwood is now married to a hockey player…Mike Fisher from the Ottawa Senators. The more we see of her, the better…

underwood

Two…it’s time to HOWL!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdlGBJj1jzE[/youtube]

6. High School Football: Parkville @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ Northeast (Friday 6:30pm)

I know we got worked over a bit by Tuscarora last week, but there’s NO CHANCE the Gators could possibly lose to the Knights, is there???

If so, I think I should probably wander over to PHHS with another great Perry Hall alum to give a stern pep talk…

melewski

5. Auto Racing: NASCAR AAA 400 (Sunday 1pm from Dover live on ESPN)

Since you’re gonna be in Delaware, might as well throw down a few bets while you’re there. For example, I’d bet on Jimmie Johnson to win the car race. I don’t know anything about it, but he wins a lot.

I’d also bet on West Virginia against LSU Saturday. Just have a hunch.

Oh…and I’d also bet on Randy Orton against Sheamus at Hell in a Cell. I mean, the guy once took out Triple H AND Ric Flair within moments…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXrBPvIck3M[/youtube]

4. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs The Tour Championship (Thursday & Friday 1pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 10am live on Golf Channel 12pm live on NBC, Sunday 11:30am live on Golf Channel, 1:30pm live on NBC. All golf from Atlanta); Champions Tour SAS Championship (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm on Golf Channel. All golf from Cary, NC)

Apparently the TOUR Championship has some sort of significance. For me, it’s the significance that Drew Forrester won’t be able to talk about golf on “The Morning Reaction” anymore. That IS significant.

You know what else is significant? The uniforms Team USA will wear for the Ryder Cup…

rydercup

Snazzy. Almost as snazzy as a uniform I saw at another major sporting event earlier this year…

glennclark

3. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 119-Frank Mir vs. Mirko Cro Cop (Saturday 10pm from Indianapolis live on Pay-Per-View); Bellator Fighting Championships 30 (Thursday 7pm from Louisville live on Fox Sports Net)

Indianapolis, huh? Home of “the best dang football team in the whole USA”? Hope Dana White and company say hello to Merton while they’re in “The Friendly Heart of the Midwest.”

Also, do I know why UFC Magazine included a photo shoot with Holly Madison? I do not. Do I care? Of course I don’t. (Thanks Guyism!)

hollymadison

2. College Football: Florida International @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU)

I’m not sure Isaiah Thomas’ boys are quite ready for a showdown with the Terps just yet. Not them? Oh.

In other college football action this week, Boise State is hosting Oregon State Saturday night. To prepare for the trip to Boise, the folks in Beavers country had a unique idea…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vcA_vgImHQ[/youtube]

I’m moving into a new house next Thursday. I will be doing this there.

1. NFL: Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 1pm from M&T Bank  Stadium live on CBS-WJZ 13 locally)

A retro classic…

chickfila

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Morning Reaction Picks and Comment

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Morning Reaction Picks and Comment

Posted on 10 September 2010 by Glenn Clark

Here are the weekend NFL (and local college) picks for this weekend from Friday morning’s edition of “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST. For the record, Drew and I both picked the Saints to beat the Vikings Thursday night, so we already started the week 1-0…

Panthers/Giants: 44-13 New York (Drew Forrester), 27-17 New York (Glenn Clark)
Dolphins/Bills: 19-17 Miami (Drew), 23-10 Miami (Glenn)
Falcons/Steelers: 27-20 Atlanta (Drew), 26-24 Pittsburgh (Glenn)
Lions/Bears: 24-19 Chicago (Drew), 28-17 Detroit (Glenn)
Bengals/Patriots: 31-27 Cincinnati (Drew), 31-21 New England (Glenn)
Browns/Buccaneers: 13-10 Cleveland (Drew), 16-9 Cleveland (Glenn)
Broncos/Jaguars: 23-20 Jacksonville (Drew), 19-14 Jacksonville (Glenn)
Colts/Texans: 30-28 Houston (Drew), 30-24 Houston (Glenn)
Raiders/Titans: 17-10 Tennessee (Drew), 20-14 Tennessee (Glenn)
Packers/Eagles: 36-24 Green Bay (Drew), 24-10 Green Bay (Glenn)
49ers/Seahawks: 16-13(OT) Seattle (Drew), 21-10 San Francisco (Glenn)
Cardinals/Rams: 24-13 St. Louis (Drew), 27-17 Arizona (Glenn)
Cowboys/Redskins: 27-7 Dallas (Drew), 20-16 Washington (Glenn)
Ravens/Jets: 24-13 Baltimore (Drew), 17-14(OT) Baltimore (Glenn)
Chargers/Chiefs: 27-20 Kansas City (Drew), 27-20 San Diego (Glenn)
Morgan State/Maryland: 35-0 Terps (Drew), 24-6 Terps (Glenn)
Georgia Southern/Navy: 34-10 Midshipmen (Drew), 35-13 Midshipmen (Glenn)
Coastal Carolina/Towson: 30-17 Tigers (Drew), 20-14 Tigers (Glenn)
Southern/Glen Burnie: 36-0 Southern (Drew), 48-0 Southern (Glenn)
Overlea/Perry Hall: 38-10 Falcons (Drew), 26-12 Gators (Glenn)

jetsravens

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 07 September 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Soccer-NASL: Vancouver Whitecaps @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 5pm Paul Angelo Russo Stadium-Calvert Hall), MLS: DC United @ Toronto FC (Saturday 4pm from Toronto live on Comcast SportsNet and MLS Direct Kick); Mixed Martial Arts: Shine Fights (Friday 9pm from Oklahoma live on Pay-Per-View)

10. Lady Gaga (Tuesday 8pm Verizon Center); Buckcherry/Flyleaf/Charm City Devils/Sick Puppies (Thursday 6pm Power Plant Live), Blues Traveler (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Kottonmouth Kings (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Toadies (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live), Seether (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Pat McGee (Saturday 8:30pm Rams Head On Stage), Ozomatli (Monday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Big Boi (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club); Blondie (Wednesday 8:30pm State Theatre); Deadliest Catch Live (Wednesday 8pm Lyric Opera House); York Fair (Friday-Monday York Fairgrounds); Maryland Seafood Festival (Friday-Sunday Sandy Point State Park); In The Street Festival (Saturday 11am Market Street & Carroll Creek Linear Park Frederick)

I’m leaving Lady Gaga alone. I’m probably the only one in the world who will do that. Trust me, I find her just as fascinating as the rest of you-but there’s NO chance I’d pay money to go see her live.

You see what you made me do? I spent 42 words on Lady Gaga. Ugh.

Moving on, I’m a much bigger fan of Flyleaf than you’d ever realize…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN0FFK8JSYE[/youtube]

I WILL be attending Blues Traveler after the Purple Party Friday night. John Popper and I are kindred souls…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ousaiByU1ko[/youtube]

“Possum Kingdom” might be the only song I’m really interested in seeing the Toadies do, but it’s really a hell of a song…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFyv6Y2J9Lw[/youtube]

I LOVE Outkast in a way that doesn’t fit the love I feel for a lot of other things in the world. Big Boi’s new record is freaking TREMENDOUS, if not necessarily Safe For Work…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiwDs01pfZM[/youtube]

9. EA Sports NHL 11 available in stores for XBox 360/PS3 (Tuesday)

If I had time to play NHL 11, there is no doubt that I would somehow find a way to make Viktor Tikhonov the greatest player in the league.

By the way, if I DID play NHL 11-there would be a 100% chance you’d see a Jason Lee/Jeremy London type moment from “Mallrats” with me…

“Hartford, the Whale? They beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.”

If you get the reference, you’re a winner. And I offer this to you as a prize. Oh but once again, it isn’t necessarily the type of prize that has language completely safe for work…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfVVjpVZP8I[/youtube]

8. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs-BMW Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 12pm Sunday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Lemont, Illinois); LPGA Tour P&G NW Arkansas Championship Presented by Walmart (Friday 12:30pm, Saturday & Sunday 4pm from Rogers, Arkansas live on Golf Channel); Champions Tour Posco E&C Songdo Championship (Friday-Sunday 6:30pm from Songdo, Korea live on Golf Channel); Team USA Ryder Cup Selection Show (Tuesday 10:30am Golf Channel)

A week after some dude named Matt Kuchar won a golf tournament, some dude named Charley Hoffman won the next one. I’m not even kidding about this-when I heard Charley Hoffman had won a playoff event, I thought “Brandt” from The Big Lebowski had somehow been victorious.

Oh and also, Tiger Woods is still mediocre. Which is (I guess) enough to warrant coverage on SportsCenter. Frankly, I’d prefer more table tennis highlights myself…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJn5L1nrkL4[/youtube]

7. Auto Racing-NASCAR Air Guard 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Richmond live on ABC)

I’d like to pretend I care about this. I know Rex Snider is taking some sort of bus trip down to Richmond Saturday, but it just isn’t my type of thing. Not because I’m shallow-minded, but more because I just like to actually be ENTERTAINED when I spend my entertainment dollar.

Speaking of entertaining, this Oregon Trail-related photo qualifies (Thanks Gorilla Mask!)…

oregontrail

6. High School Football: Southern @ Glen Burnie (Friday 6:30pm), Overlea @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm)

Uh oh.

You mean to tell me that Overlea-home of the Falcons-is facing Perry Hall-home of the mighty Gators-Friday night?

AN ALMA MATER SHOWDOWN BETWEEN GLENN CLARK AND THE GREAT TOM CLARK?!?!?!

tomclark

You’re going down, dad.

5. Basketball: FIBA World Championships-Team USA vs. Russia quarterfinal (Thursday 11am from Istanbul, Turkey live on ESPN), Semifinals and Final (Friday-Sunday from Istanbul live on ESPN)

HOLY CRAP I LOVE THIS. USA-Russia?!?!?!? DOWN WITH THE SOVIETS!!!

Let’s do to them what we did to Ivan Drago…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqT34mnSBio[/youtube]

4. Pro Wrestling: WWE Smackdown (Tuesday 6:45pm from 1st Mariner Arena-airs Friday 8pm on MyNetwork24)

Despite the fact that there’s way too much Jack Swagger, Big Show, Rey Mysterio and Cody Rhodes on Smackdown, I still kinda dig it. Undertaker is a rock star, Kane is underrated, and the combination of CM Punk, Matt Hardy and Christian is completely underused.

And oh yeah-they also have Rosa Mendes…

rosamendes

3. College Football: Morgan State @ Maryland (Saturday 6pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPN3.com); Georgia Southern @ Navy (Saturday 3:30pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on CBS College Sports)

The Terrapins may have been fortunate to survive the “Crab Bowl Classic” against the Midshipmen; but the fact remains that they ARE 1-0.

The other fact remains that Kenny Tate has earned himself a few free dinners in the future…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Avj6Bs37qJI[/youtube]

2. Tennis: U.S. Open (Tuesday-Thursday 11am live on Tennis Channel 7pm live on ESPN2, Friday 12:30pm live on CBS, Saturday 12pm-mens semifinals 8pm-Women’s Final live on CBS, Sunday 1pm Women’s Doubles Final live on ESPN2 4pm Men’s Final live on CBS. All tennis from New York)

At this point, I think it’s fair to say I’m COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT about heading up to Flushing Meadows Sunday. There’s roughly 0.1% chance an American will be there (no pressure Sam Querrey), but if it’s Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal everything will be cool in my book.

And you don’t even need to bother asking. I WILL be purchasing a few of these while I’m in The Big Apple…

tennisball

1. NFL: Monday Night Football-Baltimore Ravens @ New York Jets (Monday 7pm from East Rutherford, New Jersey live on ESPN); WNST “Purple Friday” Pep Rally (Friday 5pm Sports Legends at Camden Yards)

FOOTBALL IS REALLY (REALLY) BACK.

Oh. Thank. God.

Me personally, I think it will be cool not only to see the Ravens back in action Monday night, but also to see some of my favorite reality TV stars like Antonio Cromartie and Rex Ryan…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHe1AT-rk50[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ywxfeG2oOo[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 30 August 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: College Football-Towson @ Indiana (Thursday 7:30pm from Bloomington, Ind. live on Big Ten Network), Bowie State @ Morgan State (Saturday 6pm Hughes Stadium); Auto Racing: NASCAR Emory Healthcare 500 (Sunday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on ESPN), IndyCar Series Kentucky 300 (Saturday 8pm from Sparta, Kentucky live on VERSUS); Soccer: U.S. Open Cup-Columbus Crew @ DC United (Wednesday 7:30pm RFK Stadium), MLS-Columbus Crew @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Fox Soccer Channel)

10. Budweiser Superfest feat. Anthony Hamilton (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), The O’Jays & Ron Isley (Friday 7pm Pier Six Pavilion), REO Speedwagon & Pat Benatar (Saturday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Disturbed & Avenged Sevenfold (Tuesday 4pm Jiffy Lube Live), Jimmy Buffett (Thursday & Saturday 8pm Jiffy Lube Live); Tantric & Adema (Tuesday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); Cowboy Mouth (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); NAS & Damien Marley (Tuesday 8pm Sonar), 30 Seconds to Mars (Wednesday 7pm Sonar); Bret Michaels (Wednesday 8pm Maryland State Fair), Justin Bieber (Sunday 7pm Maryland State Fair); Hot Hot Heat (Saturday 9pm Ottobar)

This list is MUCH better than it probably looks like at first. I won’t make it to Buffett Thursday night because the Ravens are playing. If I was there, I’d probably just keep yelling “SOUTHERN CROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!” anyway….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Ah-Ch8NQ4[/youtube]

I used to do radio broadcasts for the Arizona Rattlers during my time in Phoenix; and they once brought Tantric by during the first half. They didn’t leave at any point during the game. I’m pretty sure there were both hookers AND blow….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Ah-Ch8NQ4[/youtube]

I’m not really a big Nas fan, but “One Mic” is one of the greatest songs in hip-hop history. Note-lyrics NSFW…unless of course you work at Jo-Ann Fabrics. We all know the deal there…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQbCC8S-ErE[/youtube]

I can’t freaking STAND Jared Leto, but damnit if “Kings and Queens” isn’t amongst the Top 10 songs of 2010…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMX3qv1N37s[/youtube]

9. Glenn Clark’s Birthday (Monday)

I don’t usually like to make this all about me, but I figured I could offer a plea here. I rarely ask you all for anything, but I would REALLY like this Robert McClintock piece for my birthday this year. Just consider it an investment on future brilliant material from “The Tradition”…

chips

8. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs-Deutsche Bank Championship (Friday & Saturday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Sunday 3pm Monday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Norton, Massachusetts), Champions Tour Home Care & Hospice First Tee Open at Pebble Beach (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Monterey, CA live on Golf Channel)

Some dude named Matt Kuchar won the first event in the playoffs. I’m reasonably certain we were in Mrs. Lutz-Itzoe’s 3rd grade class at Chapel Hill Elementary School together.

Seriously, can’t Tiger Woods just ACTUALLY be “back” one of these weeks?!?!?!

I’m reasonably certain this guy is gonna end up winning the 2nd playoff event in Boston…

rex

7. Pro Wrestling: WWE Raw (Monday 9pm from Verizon Center live on USA Network); TNA “No Surrender” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

As a veteran of plenty of live WWE, WWF and WCW events, there are a few things you need to know before you head to the arena:

1-If you bring a sign, make it funny. If it just says “The Champ is Here” because you’re a John Cena fan-you had better be 12 years old. If you’re closer to my age and want to bring a sign, it better be something creative-like Sheamus’ face with the words “You Can’t See Me.” You see, it’s clever because Sheamus is an albino and it uses another of John Cena’s catch phrases. Taking notes?

2-Bringing your own championship belt might seem lame-but it isn’t. Bring yours, and carry it over your shoulder. Wear sunglasses too. Championship belts around the waist-again-are for kids.

3-I liked Stone Cold Steve Austin as much as anyone. But chanting “What?” after everything that is said is grounds for the guy behind you to “accidentally” spill two beers on you. Don’t be lame.

4-Remind your kids they shouldn’t do this type of stuff at home. Unless of course they want to be like Ric Flair. In which case, let them do whatever the hell they please…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy-LQH8N6Ug[/youtube]

6. Basketball: FIBA World Championships-Team USA vs. Iran (Wednesday 12pm live on ESPN), Tunisia vs. Team USA (Thursday 9:30am live on ESPN2; both games from Istanbul) Round of 16 games (Saturday-Monday from Istanbul live on ESPN & ESPN3.com)

Is Tunisia where the Tasmanian Devil is from?!?!?

I’m really torn on this whole Team USA hoops thing. I mean-on one side, I love America. I’m much like Glenn Beck in that way. We’re a couple of patriots. Maybe it’s a name thing. But like Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, I love this country. Not like that Barack Obama fella-I heard he isn’t even FROM this country!

On the flip side of patriotism, I completely despise everything about Coach K. Is there anything LESS American than a Duke coach coaching our boys in Europe? We might as well scribble out a map for terrorists that says “your target is here.”

Oh and another thing. I was going to attend the World Championships this year, but couldn’t find Istanbul on a map. All of my and Craig Ferguson’s maps said “Constantinople”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4phHwSSing[/youtube]

5. High School Football: Joppatowne @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ South River (Friday 6:30pm)

YEEEESSSSS!!!!! MARINERS ARE GOING DOWN!!!!!!!!!!! ROLL GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, I’m sure there are plenty of other important games this weekend (the first full weekend of High School action here in the Old Line State) involving teams like Calvert Hall, Gilman, Boys Latin, Bel Air, Fallston, Parkville, Dulaney, etc. etc. etc.; but don’t bother me with those. I went to PHHS, and ol’ Drew Forrester went to Glen Burnie-so there are only two teams that I root for. Perry Hall…and whoever is playing the Gophers.

This week, there’s NO ONE I love more than South River! Go you….Seahawks, go!

That’s how I roll.

4. Tennis: U.S. Open (Tuesday-Friday 11am live on Tennis Channel 1pm live on ESPN2, Saturday-Monday 11am live on CBS 7pm live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from New York)

And with that in mind, don’t even bother asking me if I can do something for the next 14 days/nights. You already know the answer.

Need an excuse to watch? Well, Caroline Wozniacki IS the top seeded woman at Flushing Meadows…

wozniacki

3. Maryland State Fair (Tuesday-Monday Timonium Fairgrounds)

The new young lady in my life…we call her “Boomer Sooner”…tells me that at the Texas State Fair, they have introduced Deep Fried BEER this year. I’ll admit there was a bit of jealousy inside me, but I then reminded her that we have something even BETTER in Maryland…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Oy_cPF950s[/youtube]

I will be there early evening Friday. I’ll be wearing the black Under Armour hat. It’s a dollar a race. You KNOW you can’t afford to miss this.

2. Baltimore Ravens @ St. Louis Rams (Thursday 8pm from St. Louis live on WBAL11)

Speaking of “Boomer Sooner”, I immediately have more interest in a 4th preseason game than I EVER should. You see, as a graduate of the University of Oklahoma, ol’ Boomer Sooner has adopted the Rams as her second team-thanks to her undying affection for QB Sam Bradford. The whole thing just disgusts me.

But Sam Bradford won’t be the only Heisman Trophy winner on the field Friday night. That’s right, we’ve got one of our own here in Charm City….

troysmith

Attention Troy Smith: I’ve never asked you for anything before. You’ve always lived up to those expectations. Please don’t change now. The city needs you. And by the city, I mean “me.” And I really only need you for one night, but don’t get caught up in semantics. Hugs and kisses. -G

1. College Football: Maryland vs. Navy (Monday 4pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN); Virginia Tech vs. Boise State (Monday 8pm from FedEx Field live on ESPN)

Not only is Monday my birthday-but it is also Labor Day. And I can think of no way better to honor the working men and women of American than to have our Terrapins absolutely DESTROY the men who will go on to serve our country during times of unrest in the “Crab Bowl Classic” there at “The Bank.”

In all seriousness, there are only a few things I’m hoping for in Monday’s game. 1-Awesome Spirit videos from the Midshipmen like this one…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4breGPkzS0[/youtube]

2-An atmosphere and game so great that either a Terps player (or a Mids player) ends up finding himself in folklore the way that one Lance Ball has…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR6737o-cko[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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