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Part 2: Life On The Road, 30 Days of #GiveASpit and baseball (The journey)

Posted on 10 September 2015 by Nestor Aparicio






“It ain’t never been done ‘cause we ain’t ever done it.

You’ve got to stop thinking so negative, son!”

Bo “Bandit” Darville

(as performed by Burt Reynolds)

Smokey & The Bandit



ONCE THE TRIP WAS FINALIZED and it was decided that I’d be flying more than originally planned, the only real concerns we had about the voyage were the not-so-remote chances of some catastrophic weather or travel issues that could derail the goal: getting to 30 MLB games in 30 days without interruption or too much drama.

We also couldn’t afford to get sick or injured. Carrying bags around the continent would suck with a bad back or a bum foot. As we learned in 2014, your health is everything!

Would all the planes arrive on time? Would weather cooperate? Clearly, a few poorly timed storms and the trip would be a mess. You can only truly plan so much and then fate determines the outcome.

And if you’ve listened to my radio show at any point over the past quarter of a century, you know that I despise rain delays. Nothing good happens when it rains in baseball.

I’ve dedicated some time on the radio over the past few months discussing the trip and some of the comedy, drama and sights I saw on my unique journey. Most of my guests along the route joined me afterward to talk about it on the radio.

I’ve also joked that no one prepared me for 30 straight days of airplanes, airports, hotels, stadiums, restaurants and their various brands of cheap toilet paper.

There were many statistics and “over and under” side bets I was making with my wife on the 30-30 trip regarding beer consumed, hot dogs inhaled, hangovers, bad hotel pillows, crappy showers, lost/forgotten items, etc. And as much as we prepared to travel light and packed as little as we’d need, we never thought we’d really succeed in our goal of never having to check a bag for 30 days. But, miraculously, I literally lived out of one suitcase, one backpack and carted a giant cotton swab “prop” in a long tube through every TSA checkpoint in the United States. (By the way, TSA Pre is a wonderful thing!)

Toward the end of the 30-day journey, most mornings I was torn by an extreme coffee situation. I’m a coffee nerd but it became a daily decision about whether to caffeinate before a flight at 5 a.m. (and not sleep) or afterward, in the next airport or city after a plane nap.

And there were several days at the end where I was extremely loopy and working on three or four hours of sleep and moving from hotel bed to shower to car to highway to parking garage to shuttle to TSA to gate to plane to seats to sleep…

Some days – like in Dallas, San Diego and Denver – I was running on fumes and took a few hours to sleep. In others, like Los Angeles and Milwaukee, we were full of energy and put almost 20,000 steps on my wife’s Fit Bit.

You can see my 30 ballpark rankings here at WNST.net but to be honest there are no truly awful experiences in Major League Baseball in regard to stadiums. And the beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. As I wrote in my preview blog for the rankings, many of these stadiums – or is it stadia? – provide a pretty similar experience. Whether it’s hot dog races, presidents or sausages, it’s all kinda the same thing. They all do “Take Me Out To The Ballgame” in the 7th inning. They all bluster “God Bless America” every night. They all have “walk up” music for individual players.

Most have the most annoying item in modern sports – the P.A. or music or scoreboard imploring the crowd to “make some noise” with various cues and sounds. Nothing more cheeseball than that.

Every team has a team of people trying to make the “game day experience” something memorable. Every team wants to do something special when you come to the ballpark to lure you back and attract you as a lifer baseball fan.

Or at least they should.

But that part is a mixed bag – market to market, team to team, brand to brand.

Some teams always win. Some teams almost never win.

Some have vibrant fan bases. Many are a distant second citizen to the NFL.

Some teams treated me well. Some treated me like garbage.

Certain ballparks have a “wow” factor and some don’t. Some have good teams right now and some are in the midst of having awful seasons this summer so the experience wasn’t as rich. Seeing Toronto or the New York Mets in September would be far different than having seeing them in June. And seeing Houston and Kansas City this June was far different than anything they’ve seen in those ballparks in many Junes.

I had some “wow” moments and memories of my own on this tour and that’s what the rest of this essay is about: the stuff that’s worth telling you about.

Let’s start with the MVP of the 30-30 MLB #GiveASpit tour: artist Mike Ricigliano. The skinny dude with the funny hats has been drawing cartoons of me (and virtually everyone else in the sports world) in Baltimore for 30 years. I met him at The News American in 1984 on the weekend my son was born. He’s one of the enduring friends in my life and we’ve had a lot of laughs over the years. His son was originally responsible for dubbing me “Nasty Nestor.”

Here’e the story of the giant cotton swab – the enduring item from the 30-30 #GiveASpit tour.

On April 8th, I attended a Washington Capitals game with an NHL fan from Edmonton, Alberta named Rob Suggitt – a kindred spirit in hockey fandom.

While Caps Senior Manager of Community Relations Peter Robinson was giving Suggitt an incredible tour of the Verizon Center on the 27th night of his 30 rinks in 30 days mission for Make A Wish, I was telling them about my similarly arranged baseball tour.  Robinson said: “You should get a giant cotton swab and take it everywhere you go! That would help you get people on the registry.”

You know what?

He was right.

By request, Ricig made the fabulous cotton swab that started in the hands of Geddy Lee and Alex Lifeson from Rush along with Randy Johnson the night before the tour started.


It was an instant hit at the United Center in Chicago that night.

Every stadium we swabbed in – except Minnesota – we had Ricig’s giant cotton swab leading the way to get folks to our booth to learn about the bone marrow registry and get on the list for There Goes My Hero and Delete Blood Cancer.

Some of the looks we got from fans were priceless. Dude in pink shirt waving giant cotton swab in stadium bowl! But it was a lightning rod to get folks to our table for education, swabbing and success.

It also caused some attention we didn’t want. We were pulled up by Comerica Park security in Detroit and forced to take it to the car. They thought it was a weapon. I told them it was a weapon to save lives.

The gate agent at the St. Louis airport forced us to check it on a one-hour flight to Milwaukee but “The Swab” made it successfully onto 21 other flights in 30 days on the road. I guess if you get on airplanes every morning with a third carry on that’s a giant Q Tip, eventually you’ll encounter the wicked witch of Southwest.

People have repeatedly asked me what the highlights of the tour were over the 32 days on the road. It’s impossible to recount everything we saw and every person who was kind to us but I hope this essay captures the essence of

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Gregg Zaun says Wieters conditioning might be soft for position

Posted on 29 May 2012 by WNST Audio

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Gregg Zaun Says Birds Have Put Too Much Pressure On Young Pitchers

Posted on 13 April 2012 by WNST Audio

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2010 MLB Draft: MacPhail has already made a few mistakes before it has even started

Posted on 07 June 2010 by Jason Jubb

Build the farm system through the draft. Grow the arms, buy the bats. Sound familiar?

I am on board with all of that, but in order to do that you need draft picks and Andy MacPhail has made some poor moves that will now work against him. In MLB, you cannot deal draft picks as in the NFL, but you can have picks added or taken away based on free agents that you acquire or lose.

Free agents are broken up into two classes: Type A and Type B. The class is determined by the Elias Sports Bureau, which ranks each player by position. If a player is in the top 20% they are type A and if they are in the 21%-40% range they are type B.

Signing a type A free agent will cost a team their 1st round pick as long as it is not in the top 15 or it will be their 2nd round pick if it is in the top 15. The team that loses the free agent also gets a “sandwich” pick between rounds 1 and 2.

When it comes to a type B free agent, the team that loses them only gets a “sandwich” pick.

Also, tying into this is the fact that the team losing the free agent must offer arbitration to the departing free agent in order to receive compensation.

What did MacPhail do in the past year to affect this?

First, he dealt Gregg Zaun for Rhyne Hughes. I’m sorry, but Rhyne Hughes was not a prospect when he was acquired. He was a guy that started last year in AA, at age 25. At the time of the deal he had struck out 149 times in 440 AB’s between AA-AAA.

Sure, we didn’t have a spot for Zaun with Wieters, but he only logged 94 AB’s with the Rays before becoming a Type B free agent and declining arbitration from the Rays. This move netted the Rays the #42 pick in the 2010 Draft.

Basically, MacPhail chose Rhyne Hughes instead of the #42 pick. Do you really think Zaun would have accepted arbitration to stay on this horrible team?

Next, it was the signing of Mike Gonzalez. Let’s just forget the fact that Mike Gonzalez has been a disaster on the field. The Orioles had to give up their 2nd pick which was #53 overall (Gonz was a Type A FA) to acquire a closer for a team that wasn’t going to be in contention anyway.

Two moves that cost the team two picks they surely could have used. Was MacPhail thinking ahead? Or better yet, is he currently thinking ahead?

The Elias rankings do not come out until year end, but there are people who have “reverse engineered” their formula to get up to date rankings. What will he do with Kevin Millwood who could potentially be a type A player? If he chooses to deal him, he had better get something solid in return or he could keep him and offer arbitration which he would surely decline.

I want to give MacPhail the benefit of the doubt but his recent track record suggests he will make more short sighted mistakes in the near future.

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A Long, Hard Look At Nolan Reimold .....

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A Long, Hard Look At Nolan Reimold …..

Posted on 03 March 2010 by Rex Snider

As we sat around on March 3rd, 2009, our respective outlooks on a lot of things looked differently …..

Aside from the sting of absorbing another Steelers Super Bowl victory and a Terps basektball team that served up frustrating and disappointing performances with regularity, baseball fans wanted to believe the Orioles would break their streak of losing seasons.

And, why not? The birds were sporting a brand new look ….. full of retreads.

The starting pitching staff included Adam Eaton, Mark Hendrickson, Alfredo Simon and Koji Uehara. We thought they would perform poorly – yet, they still managed to be even worse.

The bullpen was a mess – and, that’s a polite way of putting it.

And, Gregg Zaun anchored the starting catcher’s position with a .111 batting average throughout the first month.

Still, Orioles fans had HOPE. Regardless of the above listed pile of “misfit toys” nobody else wanted anywhere near their bench, we still hoped things would get better before getting any worse. In fact, I distinctly recall the theme beckoned by many …..

“If the veterans can just tread water until the KIDS arrive ….. after the All Star break.”

Well, we all know how that pipedream ended …..

As predicted, the pitching was absolutely horrible and those veterans who we hoped could “tread water,” ended up drowning. Indeed, the young prospects started streaming through Bowie and Norfolk, enroute to their ultimate destination, BALTIMORE, a little earlier than expected.

Brad Bergeson pitched very well. And, the heralded arrival of our savior, Matt Wieters, turned out to be a success, too.

Yet, as the orange carpet was being rolled out for Wieters’ first big league at-bat, on May 29th, another prospect was settling comfortably into the lineup, after making his debut just a couple weeks earlier.

One of the first players to struggle, in 2009, was the opening day left fielder, Felix Pie. Touted as a five tool, CAN’T MISS prospect throughout his minor league career, Pie was doing something the experts said he wouldn’t (or should I say CAN’T ….) do, with his impressive talents.

Through the month of April, Pie struggled at the plate with a .157 batting clip. And, if you recall, he looked even worse …..

By mid-May, the Orioles had seen enough – so ALL OF US thought. On May 14th, a move was made and another rookie was added to the lineup …..

Nolan Reimold made an immediate impact upon seizing the role as starting left fielder. Heck, his first homerun came off Mariano Rivera – and he went deep another 14 times, in just 400 at bats.

It was an impressive rookie campaign and it fueled a starving fan base that has waited beyond rightful understanding to see the “Baby Birds” develop before our eyes. And, to a point Reimold’s success and overall “splash” was kinda unexpected.

While we awaited the eventual promotions of Wieters, Matusz, Tillman and Hernandez, seeing Reimold’s impact was certainly the promising surprise of another dreadful season. And, after those 400 at-bats, everybody is ready to annoint the streaking sophmore part of the long term future of Baltimore’s baseball landscape.

In fact, as the 2010 season is fast approaching and the Orioles assemble the makings of their most promising roster, in more than a decade, many experts and casual observers are penciling Nolan Reimold’s name in the left field slot.

Better yet, most enthusiasts are writing Reimold’s name with a SHARPIE.

I hope we’re right. I will never, EVER root against any player wearing an Orioles uniform. That included, Reggie Jackson, Albert Belle and most recently, Aubrey Huff. So, I absolutely hope to see a less-heralded guy like Nolan Reimold make it.

Nothing would make me happier than to see #14 on Birdland highlight reels for years to come …..

But, admittedly, I have some reservations. Call me a pessimist or detractor, if you wish. Yet, I’m just trying to be honest with myself, and YOU.

Most observers are hoping Nolan Reimold’s name accompanies Matt Wieters, Adam Jones and Nick Markakis into the long term future of the Baltimore Orioles franchise.

However, I have real concerns.

Did you know Reimold is older than all of the above mentioned players? Yeah, yeah, he’s only a month older than Markakis. But, he’s going to be 27, this year. Not the optimal age for a sophmore season, huh?

Here’s a piece of future trivia for developing an eventual question – Nolan Reimold was born on the day the Orioles won their last HOME World Series game.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not dissuaded from hoping Reimold can be a fixture in this town, for a while. He’ll turn 27 AFTER the season – but, I still acknowledge he’s not that optimal aged prospect, if you know what I mean.

To compound my doubts or overall concerns, Reimold has a pretty consistent injury history. In fact, he’s been on the Disbaled List during 4 of his 5 professional seasons. The injuries have been varied and, at times, substantial. He’s had back issues – which concern me with anyone.

Say what you will, players tend to fight the injury bug as they get older.

My final cautionary consideration on Nolan Reimold is I’m not 100% certain he’s the best left fielder on this Orioles team. Being open minded, I believe he has some competition from within the 25 man roster.

Last August, I witnessed a DIFFERENT Felix Pie. He was disciplined, yet, aggressive at the plate. And, that HUGE hole in his swing was gone !!!! Pie looked comfortable and confident whenever he stepped in the box; heck, he looked like he was having fun …..

While Nolan Reimold probably offers a little more power, Felix Pie has speed on his side. He’s more dangerous on the basepaths and covers more territory in the outfield. He’s been widely touted as the “5 Tool” player, as I’ve mentioned. And, the man who first took a chance on him (Andy MacPhail) hasn’t abandoned hope.

The intangible factors favoring Pie is he’s a little younger (so we think ….) and his injury history suggests he’s a healthier player. Pie has been on the DL only 2 times, in 8 seasons.

Look, I’m not trying to initiate a positional feud – I just think the Orioles are still very much within a phase where long term projections and in-house competition are a GOOD THING.

Heck, in a perfect scenario, Felix Pie and Nolan Reimold both make the most of the respective situations and opportunities. If so, I’d reckon Luke Scott will lose playing time – if anybody does.

As I said during yesterday’s show, I think Nolan Reimold has the makings of a potentially solid big league career. But, I also think Felix Pie might be one of those “diamonds in the rough” or “late bloomers,” if you know what I mean.

If either has a sliver of SUPERSTAR potential, I feel it’s safe to say it’s Pie. But, he could also end up being the biggest disappointment.

Regardless, I don’t think we’re anywhere near approaching a situation similar to the most famous outfield platoon, in Orioles history …..

I’ll just be happy if Nolan Reimold or Felix Pie translates into a solid, everyday left fielder for this Orioles team. Heaven forbid they’re both successful – that’s a GREAT problem to consider.

I just hope they both get a REAL shot …..

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Posted on 17 August 2009 by Glenn Clark

You get props……..

1-Felix Pie and Chris Tillman, John Lackey, Juan Rivera

Holy crap he DOES have 5 tools!!!!

Unfortunately, they are tools that are only available 2 months a year.

Of course, that’s 2 months a year more than Darnell McDonald ever had his tools available; so……..

In other news, the Orioles signed their 11th round pick Sunday. Unfortunately, their 11th round pick was not named Albert Pujols OR CC Sabathia.

2-Y.E. Yang

I get the excitement about the first Asian player winning a Major Championship; but….ummm…..has anyone noticed what’s been happening on the LPGA Tour recently? Exactly…..

Of course, if this gal was winning on the LPGA Tour, they might be in better shape……


(Editor’s note: After reading this, I was worried it might be considered borderline racist. Am I saying that I’m into Asian girls? Yes. But that’s only because they’re girls. You see, I’m into ALL of them. And they are ALL into me. ALL of them.)

(Editor’s note 2: Anybody know what Tiger Woods did this weekend?)

3-Cris Cyborg

This is a little unfair, because I’m not exactly certain of what happened between Cris Cyborg and Gina Carano this weekend after the weigh-in……


(Editor’s note: I did watch the fight. OF COURSE I watched the fight. I’m reasonably certain it may have been the most important fight of all time, actually.)

4-Alberto Castillo, Ryohei Tanaka, Brandon Waring, Oliver Drake, Nate Haughian, and Vito Frabizio

In other Orioles organizational news, prospect John “Rhyne” Hughes was announced as the player to be named later from the Gregg Zaun deal. He’ll head to Norfolk.

When reached for comment, Hughes was rumored to have said “Baltimore? I was effing traded to Baltimore? You guys think retirement might be a better option?”

When reminded that his comment would be played for everyone in Baltimore to hear, Hughes may or may not have said “Who friggin cares? I’ve watched the Rays play in Baltimore! They have like 73 fans!”

Also, with no offense to this John Hughes, I would’ve much rather had the OTHER John Hughes. And with that in mind, I didn’t get the chance to do this when he died; so I want to offer this “You freaking rule” to John Hughes. Your movies are certainly amongst the greatest of my generation. Many of them changed my life. So sorry to see you go. Here’s one of Hughes’ finest moments…..

5-Usain Bolt

I don’t often say HOLY CRAP twice in the same blog…..but…..HOLY FREAKING CRAP. 100 meters in 9.5 seconds?

Usually when I run, it takes me roughly 9.5 days to be able to breathe again……

6-Andy Murray and Jelena Jankovic


The picture above may well be the most confusing picture I have ever viewed in my entire life. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON THERE?!?!?!?

(Editor’s note: Who am I kidding? We all know I would.)

Also, attention Andy Roddick: when Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are losing, it is a good time for you to step up and WIN. With no offense to Juan Martin Del Potro (who I can only guess might be a very nice guy?), losing to the same guy twice in 6 days (and blowing a 1 set lead in both) is completely unacceptable. I need you to be a little bit more than eye candy around here….


(Editor’s note: Don’t ask me why Andy Roddick isn’t wearing shoes. He’s Andy Roddick. He’ll do whatever he wants and I’ll like it. If you have a pulse, you will too.)

7-Kenny Britt

You know what though; I bet no matter HOW successful Kenny Britt might be, no one will EVER compare him to the Ravens’ current crop of receivers. I bet that even if Kelley Washington has just 350 yards receiving this season and Britt has 1,200; no one will ever say “You see, Ozzie Newsome should have NEVER picked Michael Oher over Britt!”

(Editor’s note: Save the “dude, it’s just preseason” comments. It’s football. It’s important. There’s actually something going on in this town from now until the end of lacrosse season.)

8-Roy Jones Jr.

Roy Jones Jr. beat some guy named Jeff Lacy this weekend. I’m not sure who Jeff Lacy is; but that’s probably just because he’s a boxer. It’s not like any of the rest of you have heard of him, either.

I think Roy Jones Jr. is doing a hell of a job though. Especially for someone who is 157 years old.

(Editor’s note: And can still kick my ass. But then again, there are probably other 100+ year-olds who could kick my ass too.)

9-Gregg Zaun, Randy Wolf, Gavin Floyd, Tom Gorzelanny, Derrek Lee, Garrett Mock, Bobby Parnell, Scott Baker, Ryan Braun, Adam Wainwright, Ryan Howard and Dan Haren

Adam Wainwright and Randy Wolf each pitched their teams to victory AND hit home runs.

That means the Dodgers and Cardinals have players who can both pitch AND hit.

And makes me wonder why the O’s don’t have any players who can do either……..

10-Don Brown

Maryland’s defense is apparently either really good really quickly; or their offense is just not there yet.

I’m a “glass half full” type of guy, so I’ll just say it’s Don Brown’s new defense. And I’ll say it’s because they have ass-kicker Alex Wujciak on their side.

What’s that you ask? Do I have any videos that feature said asskicker being interviewed about how he spent his summer by a good-looking guy whose interview skills would most closely be compared to David Frost or Martin Bashir?


And while we’re here; I was perusing through Alex’s Facebook pictures, and I happened to notice this……..


And while I’m not stupid enough to think that this was ACTUALLY a picture of Wujciak; I did think to myself “Did Bachman lose weight?”

11-Bridget Sloan

I was watching the gymnastics competition the other night was talking to my friend who told me he had been watching the gymnastics competition the other night, and I thought to myself, “why do I always feel the need to take a shower after gymnastics are on TV?”

Also, here’s a picture of Shawn Johnson……


She didn’t win the VISA Championships this weekend like Sloan did; but I’m a man who knows a thing or two about “page views.” And needing another shower.

12-Chris Mortensen

Somewhere in this strange rambling that Rex Snider probably thinks was a well-written column; he MAY have had a point. Maybe. America IS fascinated with celebrity. So much so that we actually have no idea who is or isn’t a celebrity anymore.

For example, T-Pain is a celebrity. He’s a musician who has offered us PLENTY of incredible music, including an appearance on “All The Above” by Maino-which I have a funny feeling I am going to name as my “official Summer jam” pretty soon…..

T-Pain also showed us his extensive ability to entertain when he got “On A Boat” earlier this year with The Lonely Island (Language NSFW. Unless you work as T-Pain. And if you do, what’s up buddy???)

You see, T-Pain is a celebrity. But Chris Mortensen is not.


Chris Mortensen is a reporter. He’s a journalist. He’s a working man. In fact, he’s quite good at what he does. Why, just last week he broke the Vick story. He’s a damn good journalist.

So why was it that I saw Ravens fans chanting “We Want Mort” in Westminster Sunday? Why was PR guy Chad Steele handing Mort a “key to Training Camp?” Why is he traveling around in something that looks like it was most recently used by the Jonas Brothers?


Probably because this country can’t tell celebrities apart from those people who actually AREN’T celebrities.

But I’m not jealous of ESPN’s NFL Insider AT ALL. No sir. I just want to let you know in advance that I want my bus to look similar to Bret Michaels’……


13-Girls Who Play With Their Hair


Ladies-I’m going to let you in on a secret. Of course, it’s not really a secret; because I’m reasonably certain you already know. And of course, there’s probably about two of you reading. But bear with me.

Playing with your hair is what we like to call a “tell.” It means you’re into the guy you’re talking to. You do it because you’re nervous (or “flustered” as I like to say).

Please don’t stop. I find it particularly attractive. And in my mind, everything you do revolves around me.

That is all.

14-Kenny Chesney & Dave Matthews

You guys were really not going to mention that this had happened? Okay. No problem. Just remember that the next time I hear that this girl wants to come over your house and play Madden 10 in her underwear, I’m not telling you.


It’s just how it works around here. Sorry you had to find out this way.

15-Duck Sauce


Are barbecue sauce and hot sauce superior condiments? Quite possibly. But is duck sauce pretty damn good too. Yeah, yeah it is. If you’re not familiar; stop by your local PF Chang’s and pick up 8-10 packets. You don’t even necessarily need anything to put it on. Just squeeze directly into your mouth.

Trust me on this one.

You got lucky……

1-Michael Vick

This one pretty much goes without saying, right?

By the way, does anyone even remember the whole “Ron Mexico” thing anymore? That was like the greatest story of all time!

Once again, innocence lost.

2-Brian Vickers

Apparently another dude ran out of gas late in today’s “NASCAR Race 400”, allowing Vickers to take the checkered flag. I’d tell you more about Vickers’ win; but you’d just start reading something else.

Seriously, is there anything worse than NASCAR? I mean, other than a night out with Steve Melewski?

“Let’s go back and watch some Matt Albers highlight tapes!”

Speaking of which, unfortunately Melewski (who got a little antsy this weekend on Facebook) declined my invitation to play in Sunday’s Maryland Cornhole Cup.

Which only means he’s gonna have to come out for the next WNST Horseshoes Night at the Angle Inn. Man up Steve. We need to make Perry Hall High proud.

3-Cleo Lemon and John Beck

Does anyone in the world have more pull than Cam Cameron???

“Harbs-I know the Dolphins went 1-15 when I was the coach, but I’ve got a feeling that we should sign EVERY QUARTERBACK THAT WAS ON OUR ROSTER.”

Jesus, if the Ravens sign any more former Dolphins, I’m pretty sure the winner of the Graham Gano-Steve Hauschka kicking battle will end up being this “man”…….


(Edit from GMC: That’s right. A Ray Finkel joke. “LACES OUT, DAN!”)

4-Dave Trembley

You gotta love Andy MacPhail’s vote of confidence: “Congratulations Dave, your job is safe. For about 6 weeks anyway.”

You have to love the Birds’ effort against the Angels Sunday even more. In fact, I’m pretty sure it might be a future MASN commercial…..

“My defining moment? Orioles-Angels! Guts is struggling, and the Birds are down 4-0. But B-Rob gets it going, and the Birds come back not once, not twice, but THREE TIMES after the Adam Jones show sent the game to extra innings. Sure the Birds ended up losing 17-8, but a team that can come back 3 times in one game is a team I’m gonna stick behind!”

5-Brandon Marshall

Do I have to be the one to point out that Marcus Smith IS going to be out for the season?

6-Hiroki Kuroda, Ian Kinsler, and David Wright

And by “lucky”, I mean “lucky to be alive.” If any of these things…….

…..happened to me, I’m pretty sure I’d say “you know what guys, it’s been a nice run; I think I’ll switch to doing ANYTHING ELSE instead.”

7-Washington, DC drinkers

My friend Joseph Bryant Diaz (of the world famous “Drip & Diaz” show) made a visit to Washington, DC this weekend. Despite the city having one major, MAJOR problem (their football team is the worst thing that has ever happened to professional sports); I decided to go visit him. He was staying in the “DuPont Circle” area. I put “DuPont Circle” in quotes because DC is so awful that I have never actually heard of the area until this weekend. We were wandering around area establishments all evening, running up ridiculous bar tabs, dodging DC’s finest, and wondering if Diaz (who just so happens to be a paraplegic) was in danger of getting a RUI (which of course stands for “rolling” under the influence”).

The evening appeared to be coming to a close when a friend of mine said “hey, let’s go in here.”


I said to her “I know it’s late; but I don’t think the 87 Summer Ales I’ve had will necessarily make me want to read.”

But she knew something I didn’t. As nestled inside “Kramerbooks” was this…..


You see, there’s a bar inside Kramerbooks, and despite the fact that it was 2:30; they still had brews available; as DC doesn’t stop serving until 3am!

You know what? Your football team STILL SUCKS…….but I give respect when it’s due.

Well played, nation’s capital.

You’re a zero……


Look. Heidi Montag is hot, there’s no debating that. But this marks 2 straight issues of Playboy where the cover girl has inexplicably NOT BEEN NAKED…….


Disclaimer: She shows her ass. And it’s LOVELY. But isn’t that the exact same thing you can see in “Better Homes and Gardens”?

(Editor’s note: My roommate subscribes to Playboy. I would never do such a thing.)

(Editor’s note Part 2: I’m more of a Hustler man myself.)

(Editor’s note Part 3: The AVP Tour’s “Team Gorgeous” DOES get naked in this issue of Playboy……


…….it isn’t disappointing.)

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983……..


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Monday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 10 August 2009 by Glenn Clark

In the same way that I was not overwhelmed by Brian Matusz’s victory over the Tigers, I’m not overly down about his loss yesterday. He’s not a great pitcher yet……but maybe he will become one. If he does, it won’t be tomorrow.

Matusz is the first kid whose timing I’ve been concerned about a bit. This is a bad time for someone to be up. Once the rosters expand in September, the season becomes “silly season” for EVERY team in baseball. But in August, being in Baltimore is just strange-and that probably hurts young players a bit. They’re not sure if they’re supposed to really be giving their entire effort, or if they’re supposed to just try to go out and do what they did at the minor league level.

That’s what comes with losing baseball. This is Birdland!

Let’s see what everyone else has to say….

Best of Sunday’s WNST Blogs:

Luke Jones says Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw rumored to be making appearance at Training Camp

Luke Jones doesn’t think too much can be made from Flacco’s performance in Training Camp

Glenn Clark doubts Zaun too unhappy about leaving for Tampa Bay

Tom Clayton loves Camden Yards memories, but feels like ‘broken’ baseball fan now


MLB.com’s Erika Gilbert says Matusz hit hard in loss to Blue Jays

The Official Site provides numerical evidence of loss

MLB.com’s Erika Gilbert says Markakis reached base in 30th straight game

MLB.com’s Erika Gilbert says Jeremy Guthrie to take hill tonight vs. Gio Gonzalez, Athletics

MLB.com’s Erika Gilbert says Roberts had day off Sunday, Trembley hopes he can play tonight

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says 27,464 at Rogers Centre saw Birds lose series to Jays

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Aubrey Huff, Melvin Mora, Danys Baez cleared waivers

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says A’s come to Baltimore struggling, dumping veterans

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Tillman dealing with mildly strained groin

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Matusz threw 62 pitches in just 2 2/3 innings in loss

The AP says Wells, Scutaro, Millar homered for Blue Jays in win over Birds

Toronto Star’s Mark Zwolinski says Halladay received run support to help improve to 12-5

Toronto Sun’s Mike Rutsey says Halladay now 20-4 in career against O’s

Toronto Globe and Mail’s Tim Wharnsby says Scutaro finished with 4 hits in Toronto’s win


Bowie Baysox Official Site says Tanaka loser as Baysox swept by Portland

Frederick Keys Official Site says Waring, Widlansky, Crancer homered for Keys in win over Winston-Salem

Aberdeen Ironbirds Official Site says series finale between Ironbirds, Doubledays suspended in 2nd due to rain

Bluefield Orioles Official Site says Gary Helmick 2-4 with 2 runs scored as Orioles topped Elizabethtown

The Sun’s Mike Klingaman says Tides’ Andy Mitchell still waiting chance to pitch in Baltimore

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Josh Bell hit first HR since being acquired in loss to Sea Dogs

Frederick News-Post’s Adam Pohl says Moreland winner for Keys over Dash


The Official Site’s Ryan Mink says Rod Woodson said he was ‘proud to be a Raven’ in Hall of Fame induction speech

The Sun’s Edward Lee says Ravens have great depth on D-Line with Gregg, Ngata, Bannan, Divens, Edwards, Pryce, McKinney, etc.

The Sun’s Edward Lee says Grubbs, Oher, Cousins, Ayanbadejo all practiced Sunday

The Sun’s Kevin Cowherd says ‘heat and physical demands’ of Training Camp nothing for Iraq veteran, rookie LB Tony Fein

The Sun’s Mike Preston says WR Justin Harper ‘lighting up the turf’ at McDaniel College

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says center Birk ‘feels like rookie’ in new system

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Flacco not building house in Westminster

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Figurs fighting to make roster spot in Training Camp this year

ESPN.com’s James Walker thinks Birk will be ‘great fit’ in AFC North


The Official Site says Tony Logan will get first chance to replace Danny Oquendo as punt returner

Washington Post’s Eric Prisbell says Ralph trying to get Terps back to status they reached in his first 3 seasons in College Park

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says new DC Don Brown giving Terps defensive ‘makeover’

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says getting Dion Armstrong back would be ‘bonus’ for Don Brown

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says former UMass head man Brown wouldn’t eliminate potential interest in future head coaching opportunities

USA Today’s Skip Wood says nothing surprising about former Terp DHB’s struggles in Oakland

Inside MD Sports’ Jeff Ermann says future Terp Titus Till ‘head smacker’

Turtle Sports Report’s John Talty says Bishop McNamara WR prospect Brandon Coleman knows who he likes, but not in rush to make decision (must subscribe)


Annapolis Capital’s Bill Wagner says Niumatalolo allowed plebes to spend time with parents Friday

Go Mids’ Adam Nettina says Marcus Curry ‘ready for spotlight’ (must subscribe)


The Sun’s Aaron Wright says Bears return 14 starters when opening practice today


SI’s Peter King says holding Unitas’ contract amongst highlights of Hall of Fame visit

NFL.com’s Jason La Canfora says Unitas greatest Hall of Famer ever


-I’ll be down in College Park for Maryland football Media Day today; and will hope to get you guys some video over the next couple weeks with a few players. This will really be the “season of Chris Turner”, as the senior QB is in his 2nd season under James Franklin-and the two should be familiar with each other. He also has very good talent at his disposal at RB, and has the chance to throw to a very deep group of WR’s. O-Line play could still be the team’s Achilles heel, but this one is on Turner to figure things out.

Talk to you tomorrow.


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Posted on 10 August 2009 by Glenn Clark

You get props……

1-Anderson Silva and BJ Penn, Brian Bowles and Dominick Cruz

The stars of the fight weekend may well have been Silva, Penn, and Bowles; but the star of WNST’s UFC Bus Trip was a Ground Control Fighter named Raven Brooks. Raven is a confident young man with an attractive girlfriend who is absolutely much more well-adjusted than I have ever been in my entire life.

This wouldn’t be such a concern if it weren’t for the fact that Raven is 14 years old. And if you’re asking me how I know that his girlfriend is attractive, it is because he personally took the time to make sure he showed each and every one of us on the bus. This was an important moment for many of us, as it served as one of those “moments of clarity” where you get the idea that maybe nothing you have ever done in your entire life will match the accomplishments of a young man entering high school this fall. You also wonder if maybe you should be in prison. But that’s a story for another day.

Frank The Tank (and the lovely Mrs. Frank The Tank) were also amongst the stars of the bus, and worked very hard to uphold my only rule….”Don’t be an asshole.”

If you miss out on these bus trips, you’re an idiot. This was like Summer Camp.

As a handsome man I know who roots for the Terps and enjoys new beers Facebooked early Sunday morning;

Have any two human beings ever switched roles quicker than Anderson Silva and Forrest Griffin did tonight? One went from evil to hero; the other hero to….well……bitch.

I believe I saw Forrest Griffin running alongside my apartment still. He was saying “No Mas.”

And props to the crowd in Philadelphia, who did exactly what we thought the crowd in Philadelphia would do…..

2-Graham Gano

This was clearly one of those “how do we put pressure on this kid without ACTUALLY putting pressure on this kid?” situations. You gotta make the kick to give us the afternoon off……..BUT…..it’s only a 36 yard kick.

It’s sorta like saying to me….you want a week off of work? You gotta go get a girl’s phone number. THIS girl’s phone number…..


Miranda Kerr? You think it’s a challenge for me to get Miranda Kerr’s phone number? Christ. Give me something difficult. And let Forrester know I’ll be out this week.

3-Jason Berken, Adam Lind, and Roy Halladay

In other Orioles news this weekend……..they signed Freddy Guzman. So…..now…..they have Freddy Guzman.

And they’re terrible.

And pitching messiah wasn’t very good Sunday.

The Oakland A’s are coming to town this week. Buy your tickets now, or you…..might…not….ge……CHRIST this team is awful.

4-Juan Martin Del Potro and Flavia Penetta

Of course, by defeating Andy Roddick on Sunday at the Legg Mason; Juan Martin Del Potro earns a new nickname from me…….”asshole.”

Pardon my french. Bonjour.

Flavia Penetta looks like this…….


Which means her name isn’t the only thing she has in common with this man……


Why does he not currently have a show on TV? He deserves to be in the Hall of Fame. Which Hall of Fame you ask? EVERY Hall of Fame.

5-Rod Woodson

Channeling Lance Storm, “If I could be serious for a moment…..”

Good for Rod Woodson for making a statement like he did Saturday night knowing he’d be dealing with a hostile environment there in Canton. Art Modell DOES belong in the Pro Football Hall of Fame; and it’s going to take more guys like Rod standing up and proclaiming it.

Who else enjoyed Ray Bachman’s introduction of Ralph Wilson by the way?


6-Jake Arrieta, Kenny Moreland, Ryan O’Shea, Richard D’Oleo, and Gary Helmick

But of course, Bowie was swept at the hands of Pawtucket; which means that no one in the world of Orioles baseball is capable of beating the Red Sox.

Is there an outside chance that when Dave Trembley needed to call up a pitcher last week during the Tigers series, he asked guys like Arrieta, Andy Mitchell, and David Pauley only to hear them say “You know what DT, thanks……but no thanks.”

7-Gonzalo Higuain and Petr Cech

Don’t worry Washington sports fans! If you missed Sunday’s DC United-Real Madrid contest; you’ll have ten more chances this fall to leave FedEx Field after seeing your team get their ass kicked!

8-Kerry Collins

I’ve missed you, sweet friend. Please don’t leave me in the hands of that other game whose name alone is so ugly I can’t mention it here for this long EVER again.

Of course, I didn’t even watch the game. There was a fight on. But having the option is good enough for me.

9-Michael Cuddyer, Wandy Rodriguez, Bobby Crosby, Derek Holland, Johan Santana, Russell Branyan, CC Sabathia, Carl Pavano, AJ Burnett, Jason Michaels, and Kelly Shoppach

Elsewhere in the world of Major League Baseball, the Yankees swept the Red Sox. I want to get excited about this; but I hate both of these teams…..so, get bent everyone who roots for these teams.

I hear the Red Sox have a plan for getting better though, and it involves signing this man……..


Okay, I’m just gonna put it out there. I’d basically hire Fred-Ex to do anything. And if someone can produce a Ravens jersey with the number 84 on the back and “Fred-Ex” as the name……..I’ll give you some sort of concert tickets. Or something.

10-Scott Dixon and Marcos Ambrose

Scott Dixon became the all-time winningest driver in IRL history this weekend; which can’t be a good sign because no one I know has ever heard of him.

But this doesn’t seem like the strangest world record of all time. Especially knowing that this man, Jackie “The Texas Snake Man” Bibby owns the record for most rattlesnakes help in his mouth…


Which reminds me of something……………

11-G.I. Joe

This also gives me an excuse to let you know that a REAL American Hero-Iraq vet Tony Fein-joins the Comcast Morning Show Monday at 7:15. Fein is a rookie LB out of Ole Miss who is in Training Camp trying to make the Ravens’ roster.

You know, since I’m at it, here are some other things I’d like to plug……

-I rule.
-My first book “It’s Hard Being The Complete Package” will be available in August 2012.
-I haven’t had time to go grocery shopping or do laundry recently. If someone else has a few minutes, I’ll repay you in WNST polo shirts. All of which are 5x.
-There is no chance you can get me to pick which John Hughes movie is best. Home Alone, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, and The Breakfast Club would be my Top 3 though.
-I will be appearing personally at Chick-Fil-A at least 14 times this week. If you’d like a picture or autograph, buy me a sandwich.
-No, that is not me on this season of Fox’s show “More To Love”, and you’re a jackass for asking.
-I think Melewski and I will use the name “Gator Bites” when we beat everyone at the Maryland Cornhole Tournament Sunday in Annapolis.

12-Jim Riggleman

I heard a rumor that MASN analyst Rob Dibble said the Nats were “a playoff team” who just didn’t get going until later in the season.


Look, it is absolutely INSANE that the Natinals have won 8 straight games. But this is STILL the organization that….


Thanks to Dan Steinberg for (almost) all of that. While those of us in Baltimore are suicidal about our baseball team, I guess the DC folks have manged to continue laughing. But this winning thing is INSANE.

13-Timo Kaukonen and Tatyana Arkhipenko

I have no idea how the national SAUNA championships could possibly be any less sexy; but here’s a start….


Is there any chance I could get a recall vote? I believe Svetlana Shusterman is a much more deserving candidate…..



If you think I haven’t been caught singing along to “Eat That Watermelon” this weekend, you’re out of your mind. Nas is one of the greatest emcees of all time, so I’m not surprised he would make a social statement into the summer’s biggest jam….

Also, if this song didn’t change your life, you’re out pal……

15-Merriweather Post Pavilion

I was in Columbia Friday night; and I couldn’t help but notice how easy it was to park at the Mall, drink 2-37 beers, throw a football around; and then awkwardly try to pretend like I wasn’t staring at every 16 year old girl in the parking lot and on the hill. (It was a weekend of VERY awkward moments.)

O.A.R. wasn’t the best I’ve ever seen them, but they were sure as hell better than Nickelback or whoever you’re going to see this Summer. The highlight of the night might have been having Matt Nathanson join them on stage to channel Joe Cocker on “With A Little Help From My Friends”…..

but the emotional high point of the night was “War Song” (which apparently no 14 year old recognized, so there is no video of it; but I’m hoping this acoustic version gives you the idea)

Again, enjoy seeing Nickelback. Or whatever variation of Motley Crue you’re going to see. Or Kid Rock. I’m sure they’ll be good………

Plus, the venue still kicks ass. Mostly because it is NO WAYS similar to Nissan Pavilion or First Mariner Arena.

You got lucky……

1-Tiger Woods

Tiger got the good fortune of having Padraig Harrington COMPLETELY crap the bed down the stretch, and no matter how many times you listened closely to your TV, I do not believe any farts were audible from Akron.

(Editor’s note: Please save your hilarious “I bet they could be heard from your living room” jokes.)

2-Gregg Zaun

I’m going where?????


“You think you could get that Wetters kid to pack my bag?”

3-Caddies who have exact change

I have no idea if the story of Patrick Kane beating up a cab driver for not having exact change is true; but if it is, am I wrong to think it’s kinda awesome?

Get current change, you jerk!

4-Armanti Edwards

An actual conversation I had with my girlfriend (you’ve heard of her-“The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet”) Sunday.

“Sweetheart, this is exactly the reason why I can’t do work around the house. You see what happened to the Appalachian State quarterback?”

She of course understand, and did a damn fine job of trimming the hedges, I might add.

Also, upon hearing that something had happened to Armanti Edwards, I immediately asked “Is Stephen Curry okay?”

5-David Ortiz and Josh Hamilton

David Ortiz is going to be forgiven because everyone else was using steroids. Josh Hamilton is going to be forgiven because he looks like the coolest dude I have ever seen in my life…..


By the way, in some circles in Arizona; an evening that starts at Maloney’s in Tempe and ends at Les Girls is known as “A Night Out with Glenn Clark.”

6-Roddy White

Crap, I already wasted my Freddie Mitchell bit. I got a Bachman in…and a Melewski…is there a way to make fun of Rex Snider here?

Roddy White held out and ACTUALLY GOT PAID?!?!?!?!? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve heard since Rex Snider’s last blog?

So it’s not my best material. It’s 1:15 and I have to be awake in 3 hours. Next week, you write the blog.

7-Hot Sauce

This isn’t an omen to the And1 Mixtape Tour.


I was sitting in my high class breakfast establishment Saturday morning/afternoon (the INTERNATIONAL house of pancakes), and I realized that EVERYTHING on my plate (which was already delicious), could only be better with hot sauce.

Of course, how this lead to my roommate (“The Luckiest Dang Roommate on the Face of the Planet”) and I doing shots of Tabasco until 5am is beyond me.

You’re a zero……


As if I needed Hot Sauce. I could have probably just walked around with a bucket this weekend and used it to add some spice to my life. I’m pretty sure Tim Williams could have just said to me something like “Why even bother wearing pants this weekend, fellas?”

The point is that there is NOTHING in the world that is grosser than sweat. Especially men who have had a little too much buffalo chicken dip in their day and sweat in places they shouldn’t sweat really. Unless you sweat like this…..


…..not cool.


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How Baltimore Buzzed: Week Ending 8/7

Posted on 07 August 2009 by Glenn Clark

This list is of course compiled by the Academy of Baltimore Sports Arts and Sciences; a board made up completely of myself. I of course believe that ALL Boards and Academies should be made up of myself and no one else; but apparently other Academies have other people in them. For example, I have reportedly never won an Academy Award-despite my legendary film career.

To compile this list, I listen to sports talk radio, link every news site on the face of the planet, check other Baltimore blog sites, and hang out on Facebook and Twitter. Of course, most of my Facebook time is spent creeping on ex-girlfriends, but every now and then I check to see what sports-related topics everyone is chatting about.

(I also creep on girls that might be FUTURE ex-girlfriends on Facebook by the way. That of course means nothing to you seeing as how you’re probably not a girl. But a man can hope, right?)

15-They play football at Hopkins too?

The Blue Jays are the preseason Centennial Conference favorites. The Centennial Conference of course is the league that features perennial powerhouses……….State Tech? A&M College? Whatsamatta U? (Thanks Bob Haynie).

The league’s other teams actually include schools like Dickinson and Muhlenberg. The next time you think your alma mater has an awful mascot or nickname, just be proud of the fact that you were NEVER a Muhlenberg Mule…..


14-Could you imagine what it would be like to have Sandra Bullock as your mom in real life?

There’s a trailer out for the upcoming movie “The Blind Side”, which will release right around Thanksgiving. It of course the movie made from Michael Lewis’ book of the same name about Ravens rookie OT Michael Oher. Here’s the trailer, and I swear I won’t tell anyone that I cried I saw you cry while watching.

13-Congratulations Rod

This is one of those REALLY AWKWARD scenarios where you want to love something, but you just can’t. Former Raven Rod Woodson is going into the Hall of Fame this weekend, and we are grateful for his service to the team, especially what he did to help bring Baltimore a Super Bowl Championship after a 30 year drought. But as much as we want to, we can’t ignore the fact that Rod Woodson was a Pittsburgh Steeler, which means he’s actually a little bit less than floor scum.

Okay, floor scum is WAY better than the Steelers. But…..Congratulations Rod?

12-Don’t Hit Rick

Navy Football opened their summer practice session Monday following their annual Media Day/Fanfest event. The biggest news to come out of Day 1 was that QB Ricky Dobbs will be wearing a green “no contact” jersey for the Summer.

Please don’t allow this to get your hopes up. The reason why you are not getting contact from women is not because you have been wearing green. It is actually because you are really, REALLY creepy.

If it makes you feel better, when I wear green only “The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet” contacts me. This probably doesn’t actually make you feel better because TLDGOTFOTP is a hot chick and you’ve never been near one of those; but it certainly makes ME feel better.

11-Much ado about a decal

The Tennessee Titans have decided to honor former Ravens QB Steve McNair by wearing a decal of his number 9 on their helmets this season. From the world of “Are you effing insane?”, there are actually some people who wonder if it is appropriate for the Titans to honor him. I guess because……..people who are murdered in cold blood deserve it???

I wish Jim Morrison were around to follow up “People Are Strange” with something more along the lines of “people are completely stupid.”

10-There you go getting all “cagefightey”

It’s a big weekend in the world of mixed martial arts, as the UFC comes to Philadelphia for their first major Pay-Per-View event in a big east coast city. Everyone and their mom is apparently excited for the event, as evident on Facebook.

Of course, I’m not surprised that my mom (who is now on Facebook) is excited, because she’s a HUGE MMA fan. Why, just the other day she called me to say “Glenn, do you think Dana White is concerned about Fedor signing with Strikeforce?” To which I said “Probably mom, he really wanted to sign him.” Then she said “Glenn, who do you think has the best chance of beating Brock Lesnar in the heavweight division?” I responded by saying “I really like Cain Velasquez, mom.” Then she said “Glenn, who do you think will win the WEC fight between Brian Bowles and Miguel Angel Torres?” I responded “Jesus mom, I don’t know. Are you gonna give me some money or not?”

9-My team can punt better than your team

Two Maryland Terrapin football players were placed on Award Watch Lists this week, with Running Back Da’Rel Scott named to the Doak Walker Award Watch List; and Punter Travis Baltz was named to the watch list for the Ray Guy Award.

This lead to me immediately running out and buying a bumper sticker that says “My alma mater’s punter can kick your alma mater’s punter’s ass.”

Of course, this statement is not acccurate if your alma mater’s punter was THIS man…..

8-Will he be out soon enough that we can sign him?

Former Giants WR Plaxico Burress was indicted this week on charges stemming from a little gun accident you may remember, and appears likely to be serving jail time of some sort.

When reached for comment, free agent QB Michael Vick was rumored to have said “I’m very disappointed in Michael. He should really be setting a better example for our nation’s youth.”

7-I thought you knew? We don’t want to win anyway!

The Orioles have taken their suckage to new heights this week. Heights so expansive they actually give me an excuse to use the term “suckage”, which reminds me that my high school journalism teacher now owes me 20 bucks.

The Birds have their worst record through 108 games since 1991, when at least there was the whole “Memorial Stadium closing” thing to keep us distracted.

The good news? The Orioles made a deal Friday, sending Gregg Zaun to Tampa Bay for a player to be named later. The bad news? The player that will be named later is almost certainly going to be THIS guy…..


(Editor’s note: I take it back. I bet that guy could help.)

6-Must be nice…..

Meanwhile in the world of “some teams are actually playing games that really matter”, the Yankees and Red Sox opened a 4 game series Thursday. With sports fans throughout the world particularly sick of seeing all things Yankees and Sox, it was particularly nice of ESPN to limit their discussion of the series to 56 of every 60 minutes of programming instead of their usual 59 minutes of every 60.

(Editor’s note: It’s WAAAAY too easy for me to pick on ESPN. What the hell do I think they should talk about instead? The Orioles? I don’t want to talk about the Orioles. This was me taking the easy way out. Sorta like when I told an ex that we couldn’t be together anymore because “I wasn’t comfortable with the fact that she didn’t go to church.” I still chuckle about that.)

5-Do we trade for Brandon Marshall NOW?

Mark Clayton is hurt, huh?

Do you want ME to make the phone call Ozzie?


I know I said I’d stop championing his cause…….but who the hell else are you gonna sign? Travis Taylor?

4-Just put the damn list out already! Or don’t!

Some people think Major League Baseball should just release the names of the players who tested positive for steroids in 2003, as the leaked list might well haunt the game for years to come.

Some people think Major League Baseball has the duty to protect the players whose names are on the list, as those players agreed to anonymous testing.

Some people think “Dude, you might want to get that looked at. I had a buddy hook up with a chick in Dewey once, and now he can barely pee standing up.”

3-Dude, you think you’re the only person who doesn’t get respect at work?

Melvin Mora and Dave Trembley reportedly worked out their differences in a closed-door meeting this week. I can only assume the two worked it out like this….

DT: “Melvin, I’m glad you’re here. Really wanna work through this.”
MM: “Skip, I’m sorry I went to the media, it’s just really frustrating going through a bad season both personally and for the team.”
DT: “You think you have to tell me that? This team sucks.”
MM: “You’re right about that Skip.”
DT: “You see Melvin, we’re not so different you and I.”
MM: “I dunno Skip, you’re a little bit country-I’m a little bit Rock and Roll.”
DT: “Mel, how about instead of continuing this conversation; we agree to be cool and Glenn just posts a picture of Adrianne Curry walking around in a biking that he stole from the frontpage of What Would Tyler Durden Do because he’s too lazy to actually find anything that takes more than 3 minutes to post?”
MM: “Sounds good to me Skip.”



You know why Snoop Dogg’s appearance at Training Camp Thursday was such a big deal? Because NOTHING happens during Training Camp. There are 600 reporters there to cover….Oneil Cousins MAYBE being hurt?

That being said, I’d like to take this time to remind you that for your best Ravens Training Camp coverage, stay right here at WNST.net and AM1570. Plus, sign up for our text service!

(Editor’s note: Hey man, I gotta eat. Chicken minis from Chick-Fil-A preferably.)


There is a chance that if Brian Matusz had failed in his first start, I might have just ended it.

In a related story, despite what you’re heard about recently in the news, the Orioles will not be able to exchange Rich Hill as part of the “Cash For Clunkers” program.


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Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 06 August 2009 by Glenn Clark

Here is the list of Free Agents at the positions the Orioles may have needs at this offseason. This list is pulled directly from the outstanding site MLBTradeRumors.com……

First basemen
Rich Aurilia (38)
Russell Branyan (34)
Miguel Cairo (36)
Frank Catalanotto (36) – $5MM club option with a $2MM buyout
Tony Clark (38)
Carlos Delgado (38)
Nomar Garciaparra (36)
Ross Gload (34) – $2.6MM club option
Eric Hinske (32)
Nick Johnson (31)
Adam LaRoche (30)
Doug Mientkiewicz (36)
Kevin Millar (38)
Chad Tracy (30) – $7MM option with a $1MM buyout
Daryle Ward (35)
Dmitri Young (36)  -$6MM option vests with 500 PAs in ’09

Third basemen
Rich Aurilia (38)
Adrian Beltre (31)
Geoff Blum (37)
Aaron Boone (37)
Craig Counsell (39)
Joe Crede (32)
Pedro Feliz (35) – $5MM club option with a $500K buyout
Chone Figgins (32)
Nomar Garciaparra (36)
Troy Glaus (33)
Mike Lamb (34)
Melvin Mora (38) – $8MM club option with a $1MM buyout
Pablo Ozuna (35)
Robb Quinlan (33)
Juan Uribe (31)

Designated hitters
Hank Blalock (29)
Jason Giambi (39) – $6.5MM club option with a $1.25MM buyout
Ken Griffey Jr. (40)
Aubrey Huff (33)
Hideki Matsui (36)
Gary Sheffield (41)
Matt Stairs (42)
Mike Sweeney (36)
Jim Thome (39)

Any names jump out at you? Jim Thome, Nick Johnson, Joe Crede, Adam LaRoche and Hank Blalock are the names Drew and I have discussed as some combination of “players we’d be interested in” or “players we think the Orioles might be willing to consider given the money”

Let’s see what everyone else has to say……

Best of Wednesday’s WNST Blogs:

Luke Jones says Ravens added DT Nader Abdallah to roster

Chris Pika says NFL concerned about how Ravens players, rest of league uses Twitter

Luke Jones says Lardarius Webb ‘lock’ to make team, Frank Walker on ‘bubble’

Glenn Clark says Joe Smith vs. Georgetown best ‘debut’


The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says solid start from Jeremy Guthrie not enough as Birds fell to Tigers

The Official Site provides numerical evidence of loss

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says ‘devastating changeup’ part of Matusz’s impressive debut

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says David Hernandez takes ball for Birds this afternoon vs. Porcello for finale in Detroit

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says Chris Ray ‘gaining confidence’ back in bullpen

Tigers Official Site’s Jason Beck says Edwin Jackson dominant as Tigers topped O’s

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Trembley thought Guthrie pitched like he’s ‘expected to pitch’ in loss

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Berken will definitely make Friday start vs. Blue Jays

The Sun says former Oriole Hoiles stepped down as manager of York Revolution

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Fernando Rodney struck out Gregg Zaun to end win for Tigers

The AP says Adam Jones hit late homer for Birds’ only runs in loss

Washington Post’s CJ Holley says Matusz’s debut gives Orioles fans ‘tangible hopes’ for future

Detroit Free Press’ George Sipple says Leyland admitted to making ‘mistake’ in sending Jackson back out for 9th in win

Detroit News’ Tom Gage says Magglio Ordonez homered for Tigers in win

AOL Sports’ Matt Snyder has Birds 21st in power rankings


Norfolk Tides Official Site says Chris Waters earned win in relief as Tides topped Pawtucket

Bowie Baysox Official Site says Beato lost first AA start as Baysox shut out by New Hampshire

Frederick Keys Official Site says Gleason overcame early struggles to get win for Keys over Potomac

Delmarva Shorebirds Official Site says Moreau winner as Shorebirds topped Hagerstown

Aberdeen Ironbirds Official Site says Haughian winner as Ironbirds topped State College

Bluefield Orioles Official Site says Helmick had 2B, 3B for Bluefield in win over Greeneville

Frederick News-Post’s Stan Goldberg says Keys players were watching former teammate Matusz’s big league debut closely

Virginian-Pilot says Pinckney went 4-5 with 2 doubles for Tides in win over Red Sox


The Official Site’s Kevin Byrne says Harbaugh rooming with father Jack at Training Camp

The Official Site’s Mike Duffy says McGahee, Rice ‘pushing each other’ in RB competition

The Official Site says Harbaugh thinks Rolle will be back ‘real soon’

The Sun’s Ken Murray says additions of Foxworth, Carr make Ravens believe cornerbacks ‘strength’ of roster

The Sun’s Jamison Hensley says Rolle expected to wear red ‘no contact’ jersey after being de-PUP’ed

The Sun’s Kevin Cowherd says staff needs preseason games to determine whether Hauschka, Gano will replace Stover as kicker

The Sun’s Edward Lee says defense ruled practice Wednesday despite 52, Reed, Pryce, Gregg having day off with “over 30 club”

The Sun’s Jamison Hensley says Cam Cameron thinks Ravens could use McGahee, Rice, McClain on field at same time

The Sun’s Mike Preston says rookie Kruger helping to give D-Line ‘depth’

The Sun’s Edward Lee says McGahee, Figurs battling over who’s ‘faster’

The Sun’s Jamison Hensley says Rosburg will run Friday’s practice while Harbaugh attends Jim Johnson’s memorial service

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Gaither ‘expected to excel on weekly basis’

Carroll County Times’ Daniel Henderson says Jayson Foster trying to ‘beat odds’, make team

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Oglesby missed practice after suffering concussion

Frederick News-Post’s Stan Goldberg says Suggs traded in Yankees hat for Orioles hat after Ravens invested in him long term

NBC Sports’ Mike Florio says Titans will honor McNair with helmet decal (in fact, that’s EXACTLY what he said. I probably should have put it in quotes. Sorry Mike.)

ESPN.com’s James Walker says Rod Woodson believes Ed Reed ‘more aggressive’ than he was


The Official Site says punter Baltz named to Ray Guy Award watch list

The Official Site says Terps deep at WR with Torrey Smith, Ronnie Tyler, Adrian Cannon, Quintin McCree, Tony Logan, Kevin Dorsey, Kerry Boykins, Emani Lee-Odai and LaQuan Williams

The Sun’s Jeff Barker says Terps have sold 40 of 64 luxury suites at Byrd Stadium

The Sun’s Jeff Barker says Terps allowing no more than 96 beer bottles in Tyser Tower suites

The Sun’s Jeff Barker says Yow called rumors of Big East courting Maryland, Boston College ‘silliness’

The Diamondback’s Aaron Kraut says inexperienced LB’s like Ben Pooler, Demetrius Hartsfield need to step up next to Wujciak

The Diamondback’s Michael Lemaire says Jared Harrell was star of show in speaking to Boys and Girls Club in Washington

Washington Post’s Steve Yanda says Yow claimed Big East made ‘no contact’ with Terps about switching conferences

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says West Virginia players excited to revive rivalry with Terps

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Justin Lewis may be ‘answer’ for Terps at RG

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Baltz ‘probably Maryland’s most realistic awards candidate’

ESPN.com’s Heather Dinich says Goree, Mackall only Terps missing from summer session (both going to prep school)

Terrapin Times’ Mark Clem says Bishop McNamara WR prospect Brandon Coleman ‘shut down’ recruitment until after senior season concludes (must subscribe)


Terrapin Times’ Dan Painter says Wisconsin prospect Josh Gasser ‘surprised’ by offer from Terps (must subscribe)


Terrapin Times’ Dan Painter says Frese, assistant David Atkins watched country’s best underclassman talent at USJN Championships in College Park (must subscribe)


The Official Site says Jays picked to finish first in Centennial preseason poll

The Sun’s Sandra McKee says Jays picked ahead of Dickinson, Muhlenberg in poll


Washington Post’s Josh Barr says Tigers have offered Wise DE-TE prospect Rashaan Moore


The Sun’s Matt Bracken says Fang Mitchell must replace one of school’s greatest players in Tywain McKee


The Official Site says Niumatalolo knows Dobbs will get hit, but wants him to be hit ‘up high’

Annapolis Capital’s Bill Wagner says Mids’ tough schedule includes 8 opponents that played in Bowl games last year

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says facing Big Ten foe Ohio State personal thrill for Pospisil

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says OL Osei Asante “man who would be prince”

Go Mids’ Adam Nettina says Niumatalolo’s ‘goal’ is again Commander-in-Chief’s Trophy (must subscribe)


Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Seton Hall toughest opponent on Mids’ schedule


The Official Site says Milan Brown wants this year’s Mountaineers to again be ‘good defensive team’


Washington Post’s Ishita Singh says Phelps’ star power bringing best young swimmers to NBAC meet


-Drew and I talked about Cornerback depth this morning; and I really buy into it. There is NO ONE on the team who is NEARLY as good as Chris McAlister. But instead of having 1 great corner, 1 good corner, and 3 guys who are about as talented as you and I (as they had 2 seasons ago); they instead have a group of 5 or so guys who can ALL play. There won’t be a Corey Ivy-David Pittman secondary at any point. This group can work.

-There would be no reason for Maryland to move to the Big East. The Big East is on the same level as the ACC in both football and basketball, and Maryland would lose key money-making games. That particular rumor is insane.

Talk to you tomorrow.


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