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Let’s Back Our Way Into the 15-7-0

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Let’s Back Our Way Into the 15-7-0

Posted on 02 January 2012 by Glenn Clark

You know how it works. 15 positive football observations, 7 “not so” positive football observations and one “oh no” moment from outside the world of football.

(As a reminder, we don’t do Baltimore Ravens analysis here. We do PLENTY of that elsewhere. This is about the rest of the world of football.)

15 Positive Observations…

1. Matt Flynn may have just earned himself a boatload of money Sunday.

Perhaps Flynn’s success had much more to do with the Green Bay Packers’ scheme & wide receivers and even the Detroit Lions’ less than exceptional defense than the former LSU quarterback himself. But as he enters free agency, Flynn may have just made himself a viable option for teams that won’t enter 2012 with Andrew Luck on their roster.

Of course, 80 of his 480 yards and one of his five touchdowns came on this play to Ryan Grant. I’m pretty sure Ryan Chell could have made this throw…

The Packers can sit back and wait to find out who they’ll play in the divisional round while the Lions get to visit the Superdome next weekend. But I’d say it’s pretty much a toss-up as to who has the more difficult road ahead.

In an unrelated story, the Packers went with Pat Lee as their kick returner for the New Year’s Day game. He did something stupid…

And one more-here’s Packers LB Brad Jones handling a fan who ran out onto Lambeau Field…

2. The New England Patriots scored 49 unanswered points Sunday. I’m not really sure how to follow that up.

Much like the Fins a week earlier, the Buffalo Bills worked Charm City into a lather with hopes of ruining the Pats’ run to the Number 1 seed. Also much like the Fins, the Bills for some reason must have thought New England would quit when they fell behind early. But after spotting the Bills 21 points, the Patriots would go on to score the next 49.

But they can’t possibly win the AFC of course because their defense isn’t good enough.

Right.

You’ll see a lot of funny things in 2012. I’ll go ahead and guess that there won’t be many funnier than this Drayton Florence flop…

Also of note in this game was Bills WR Stevie Johnson, who exposed a “Happy New Year” message on an undershirt after scoring a touchdown…

It’s a shame Tom Brady didn’t have a “Happy 28 Point Beatdown” undershirt to respond with. For a semi-decent receiver, Johnson is about a full-fledged clown.

3. I still have no idea why he’s headed to Arkansas State, but Gus Malzahn made the Chick-Fil-A Bowl a lot of fun to watch.

Before departing his Offensive Coordinator gig at Auburn, Malzahn pulled out a bunch of tricks (including a Statue of Liberty Play of all things) to help beat Virginia in the Georgia Dome…

Elsewhere on New Year’s Eve Levi LaVallee and Robbie Maddison were doing extreme sport jumping of some sort on ESPN that may or may not have been amazing. None of us really know and none of us really bothered to watch. But technically it happened!

How did I spend my NYE you ask? At a place I can’t name because they aren’t a sponsor. They ARE however the home of Sweet Potato Tots and the “Billy Goat’s Gruff”…

It was a 14 out of 10.

4. There’s something about David Akers throwing a touchdown that I really enjoy.

I’d show you video of the play, but it’s not available on YouTube. Instead, those of you who REALLY wanna see it can check it out here and the rest of you can look at this picture of Elsa Hosk. We’ll all meet back at the local saloon.

The San Francisco 49ers clinched the #2 seed in the NFC thanks to their win over the St. Louis Rams. In Baltimore, we just want to say Thank You again. We can’t really say it enough.

The Rams will fire Steve Spagnuolo according to reports. Also according to reports, it will be cold this week.

5. Credit Gary Kubiak for not kicking an extra point Sunday. Now it’s time to go win a Wild Card playoff game.

The Houston Texans didn’t need to beat the Tennessee Titans Sunday for any tangible reason. They didn’t, thanks to Kubiak’s decision to go for 2 late (a decision that backfired after a Joel Dreessen false start and a snap sailed over the head of QB Jake Delhomme-who replaced a banged up T.J. Yates). Let’s take a look at the video board…

Earlier in the game, Bryan Braman made an awesome play…

The Texans host the Cincinnati Bengals in the first round of the postseason. If they win, the Texans visit M&T Bank Stadium in the divisional round. I would think most of us would be pretty happy with that matchup, especially considering the Steelers could be another option.

6. Texas A&M’s Ryan Swope is probably the best receiver you didn’t talk about this season.

Here’s video of the Aggies’ win over Northwestern in the Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas. You voted it “the video I’m least likely to watch this week” in an informal poll I just took…

Here was Wildcats coach Pat Fitzgerald’s reaction when he found out I was going to show the highlights of the game…

7. For as much as we laughed at them this season, the Philadelphia Eagles look capable of being dangerous in 2012.

Of course, that’s the only if Michael Vick stays healthy…and we all know that’s a significant “if.”

The highlight of the day in Philly happened well before Philly kicked the tar out of the Washington Redskins. It happened when Skins OC Kyle Shanahan tried to pump his team up before the game. It was HILARIOUS…

Kyle Shanahan makes Cam Cameron look popular.

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Unlike Everyone Else, The 15-7-0 Remains Undefeated

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Unlike Everyone Else, The 15-7-0 Remains Undefeated

Posted on 19 December 2011 by Glenn Clark

You know how it works. 15 positive football observations, 7 “not so” positive football observations and one “oh no” moment from outside the world of football.

(As a reminder, we don’t do Baltimore Ravens analysis here. We do PLENTY of that elsewhere. This is about the rest of the world of football.)

15 Positive Observations…

1. I just looked away for a second. How many more touchdowns did Drew Brees throw for while I was gone?

It was five during the New Orleans Saints’ win over the Minnesota Vikings and it was clinical. Have a look…

Two of them went to wide receiver Lance Moore, who REALLY wants to be a part of next season’s “Dancing With The Stars”…

I like it. I also like Darren Sproles. In this country we enjoy the success of very small people in football and very large people in football. I did a study about that last night. I asked myself.

By the way, Brees’ performance came a week after doing Sesame Street. Can we now send Joe Flacco there this week?

As far as the Vikes go, it will all be over in about two weeks. That’s all I can say.

2. The Seattle Seahawks have the look of a “team you don’t want to face in January.

The good news (for NFC teams) is that it would take a miracle for them to get in, even after their win over the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field Sunday. They’re two games out of both Wild Card spots with just two games to go.

Bears WR Johnny Knox suffered a horrific injury in the loss that I’ll only post again because I know he’s okay…

Holy hell.

Marshawn Lynch ran for two TD’s. Could’ve used a second TD last week when I was still alive in my fantasy football playoffs, but that’s okay pal. You probably didn’t know.

Next year I’ll send you a letter in advance.

3. I’m sure someone won the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl but I was much too busy staring at the awesome logo to notice.

When the University of Maryland was sentenced accepted to Boise a few years ago they played in something known as the Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl. Other than Da’Rel Scott absolutely going off in a win over Colin Kaepernick and Nevada, it was rather lame.

And while “Famous Idaho Potato Bowl” might sound a bit goofier than “Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl”, only one bowl game includes chives in the logo…

4. Pat Angerer doesn’t just have a great name, he’s also a hell of a football player.

12 tackles and then both an interception and a forced fumble in the 4th quarter for the LB as the Indianapolis Colts FINALLY got in the win column against the Tennessee Titans. But the highlight of the day belonged to RB Donald Brown for THIS TD run…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQzRaONUXLo

Dan Orlovsky is absolutely NOT a good quarterback, but I have no reason to think he isn’t a good guy. I guess for that reason I’m happy he didn’t have go winless again. Of course his success was part of the reason Randy Edsall was able to get to College Park so maybe I should immediately take that back.

5. With Todd Haley gone, I feel as though I can actually be happy for the Kansas City Chiefs with their win over the Green Bay Packers.

Romeo Crennel may have clinched the permanent KC job as Tamba Hali crushed Aaron Rodgers to help the Chiefs hand the Packers their first loss in A YEAR. It was enough to make the Chiefs get all Gatorade bath-ey…

…the Packers looked vulnerable, but they also played with a VERY banged up O-Line. Unlike here in Charm City, perhaps this team could actually lose a loss before making a playoff run.

6. The Maryland Terrapins actually got some good news Friday. I hesitate in writing this because I’m afraid bad news will come before this gets posted.

I’m not even referring to the news that OC Gary Crowton had been “reassigned” within the athletic department. I’m taking about the fact that Kenny Tate and others were given an extra year of eligibility.

Speaking of the Terps, I saw something amazing Saturday. You knew we’d get to the Tim Tebow sketch on Saturday Night Live eventually, but I’m going to go to it here. Mostly because I noticed that former Terp Lance Ball had his name in the background. How freaking awesome is that?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul2dhNaQgxM

Good for Lance.

7. Todd Bowles will forever be able to describe himself as a winning National Football League head coach.

Which is nice, because I’m not certain Bowles is going to be on any short lists to get gigs in the future. That being said, his Miami Dolphins beat the Buffalo Bills Sunday so he’ll always have that going for him.

Reggie Bush ran for over 200 yards in the Phins’ win, but was penalized for doing what ANYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE DONE after scoring a TD when it was snowing…

200 yards for Reggie Bush. Do we live in some sort of alternate universe???

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 13 December 2011 by WNST Staff

Honorable Mention: High School Basketball-Bel Air @ Perry Hall (Wednesday 6:30pm), St. Frances @ John Carroll (Wednesday 7pm); Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce-Gilbert Melendez vs. Jorge Masvidal (Saturday 10pm from San Diego live on Showtime)

10. Lyle Lovett and His Acoustic Group (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live); Bret Michaels (Wednesday 7pm & 10pm Rams Head on Stage); Pietasters (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club), Virginia Coalition (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); Devo (Thursday 8pm State Theatre), Phil Vassar (Sunday 8pm State Theatre); Chris Isaak (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Anthony Hamilton “Back to Love” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

I am not a Lyle Lovett fan, but I am a human being. Because I am a human being, I am ABSOLUTELY a fan of this tune. One of the happiest days in my life may have been the day I walked off a hangover into the DC Farmers’ Market and saw a folk band playing the song. If it hadn’t been in DC it would have been the HAPPIEST…

Is there any chance I could go see Bret Michaels and skip everything besides this?

I saw the Pietasters most recently at Artscape this summer. They were fantastic. They always are.

Virginia Coalition is ABSOLUTELY the best band you’re not listening to. Unless you’re not listening to U2. There aren’t people that don’t listen to U2, are there?

9. Glenn Clark’s Christmas Party (Saturday 8pm undisclosed location in Monkton); “Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows” & “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol out in theaters (Friday); Christian Finnegan (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv)

This is how last year’s Christmas party ended…

That’s my girlfriend cleaning up vomit. The vomit happened to be on the ceiling. It is what it is.

Oh…and last year’s party also involved the following….


Ours were of course much manlier than this, but you get the point. This is not to be missed…like…say…ever.

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 25 October 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Pro Wrestling-Maryland Championship Wrestling Tribute to the Legends (Saturday 6:30pm New Green Room Dundalk); Golf: PGA Tour CIMB Asia Pacific Classic Malaysia (Thursday-Sunday 1am from Selangor, Malaysia live on Golf Channel); Auto Racing: NASCAR Tums Fast Relief 500 (Sunday 1:30pm from Martinsville, VA live on ESPN); Boxing: ShoBox-Brandon Gonzalez vs. Ossie Duran (Friday 11pm from Atlantic City live on Showtime); Canadian Football League: Edmonton Eskimos @ BC Lions (Saturday 10pm from Vancouver live on NFL Network); Soccer: MLS Playoffs-New York Red Bulls @ FC Dallas (Wednesday 9pm from Frisco, TX live on Fox Soccer Channel), Seattle Sounders @ Real Salt Lake (Saturday 10pm from Salt Lake City live on Fox Soccer Channel), Houston Dynamo @ Philadelphia Union (Sunday 4pm from Chester, PA live on ESPN2); Stony Brook @ UMBC (Wednesday 7pm Retriever Soccer Park)

10. Butch Walker (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live); Charm City Devils (Friday 7pm Recher Theatre), Pietasters (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Queensryche (Sunday 7pm Baltimore Soundstage); Ra Ra Riot (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), The Naked & Famous (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club), Panic! At The Disco (Monday 6:30pm 9:30 Club); Moby (Wednesday 7pm Fillmore Silver Spring), Ziggy Marley (Sunday 7pm Fillmore Silver Spring); Tedeschi Trucks Band (Friday 8pm Warner Theatre), Marsha Ambrosius (Sunday 8pm Warner Theatre); Sting (Saturday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Ray Manzarek & Robby Krieger of The Doors (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Coldplay “Mylo Xyloto” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday); Pearl Jam 20 available on DVD (Tuesday)

I’m not the type that thinks Butch Walker is the greatest thing to ever happen to music, but I AM eternally grateful for Marvelous 3…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Obkkxng-0g[/youtube]

I’m hoping John Allen will join me to play “Everybody Beats Glenn” Thursday before the CCD show Friday night. Someone pressure him on this. I’m a fan!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUB08-RuwdM[/youtube]

I dig The Naked & Famous probably more than I realized initially…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YuSg4mts9E[/youtube]

I missed seeing the Pearl Jam documentary Friday night on PBS because I went to see 50/50 in Hunt Valley. It was really good, and even included a hell of a Pearl Jam tune…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhcnKYvzfZc[/youtube]

9. John Oliver (Saturday 7:30pm Warner Theatre); The Great Big Halloween Parade of Light & Luminari (Saturday 7pm Patterson Park); Carlos Mencia (Thursday 8pm Baltimore Comedy Factory), Kevin Brown (Friday & Saturday Baltimore Comedy Factory); Shawn & Marlon Wayans (Friday-Sunday DC Improv)

With Halloween in mind, here’s the “Party Rock Anthem” Halloween house video for the 5-6 of you that haven’t seen it on Facebook yet…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfcNoMnKjrY[/youtube]

And since we’re not legally allowed to post anything that doesn’t involve the name Tim Tebow, here’s John Oliver at a Florida State Homecoming event…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KN7LEgi7szQ[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 08 August 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Bantamweight Tournament Final-Joseph Agbeko vs. Abner Mares (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights: Kermit Cintron vs. Antwone Smith (Friday 9pm from St. Charles, MO live on ESPN2); WNBA: Atlanta Dream @ Washington Mystics (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & ESPN3.com), New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Friday 7pm Verizon Center); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Denver Outlaws @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3.com)

10. Melissa Etheridge (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), INXS (Wednesday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion), Chicago (Sunday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Return to Forever IV feat. Chick Corea (Tuesday 5:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), My Morning Jacket (Friday 5:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), O.A.R. feat. Virginia Coalition (Saturday 5:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Blink 182/My Chemical Romance (Friday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Tim McGraw feat. Luke Bryan (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); American Idol Live (Thursday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena); Mr. Greengenes (Friday 6pm Power Plant Live); Candlebox (Tuesday 7pm Recher Theatre), Ravyns (Saturday 7pm Recher Theatre); Steve Earle (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); Steve Miller Band (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap); Havre de Grace Seafood Festival feat. Charlie Daniels Band (Friday 7:45pm Downtown Havre de Grace); Alkaline Trio (Sunday 7pm Black Cat DC); 10,000 Maniacs (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere)

I think everyone knows I’ll be in Columbia Saturday night. I mean, where else would I be???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG2hDRClSM0[/youtube]

The thing though is that I’m not ONLY excited about O.A.R., I’m also REALLY looking forward to seeing VACO again…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Orrs6LeIbWQ[/youtube]

I probably won’t make it out to see Chicago, but it’s not because they aren’t awesome…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSOaoPDO16Y[/youtube]

If I WASN’T going to be at OAR Saturday night, I would ABSOLUTELY be in Towson Saturday night to see Rob Fahey and the Ravyns. We love him…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZymOQ0qk_BU[/youtube]

9. 30 Minutes or Less” and “Final Destination 5” out in theaters (Friday)

I’ve seen 30 Minutes or Less. It’s funny. Not “HOLY HELL I’LL NEVER STOP CRYING” funny, but funny.

Of course, Aziz Ansari has the ability to be “HOLY HELL I’LL NEVER STOP CRYING” funny.

If you’re not a fan of Tom Haverford/Parks & Recreation, I have absolutely no idea what you’re doing with your life…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS_bgv6f2Rk&feature=related[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 25 July 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Pro Wrestling-MCW Shane Shamrock Cup (Saturday 7pm New Green Room Dundalk); WNBA: San Antonio Silver Stars @ Washington Mystics (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Indiana Fever @ Washington Mystics (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Hamilton Nationals @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3.com); Arena Football: AFL Playoffs-Orlando Predators @ Jacksonville Sharks (Friday 8pm from Jacksonville live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: British Columbia Lions @ Winnipeg Blue Bombers (Thursday 8pm from Winnipeg live on NFL Network), Calgary Stampeders @ Saskatchewan Roughriders (Saturday 9:30pm from Saskatchewan live on NFL Network); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Victor Cayo vs. Anthony Peterson (Friday 9pm from Las Vegas live on ESPN2)

10. Emmylou Harris (Tuesday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Vans Warped Tour feat. Less Than Jake, Gym Class Heroes (Tuesday 12pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Black Eyed Peas (Saturday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); 311 & Sublime with Rome (Friday 6:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), Mayhem Festival feat. Godsmack/Disturbed/Megadeth (Saturday 2:15pm Jiffy Lube Live); Goo Goo Dolls/Michelle Branch (Tuesday 7pm Wolf Trap), Lynyrd Skynyrd (Wednesday 8pm Wolf Trap); Kottonmouth Kings (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live); Marc Broussard (Thursday 7:30pm Rams Head On Stage); Reel Big Fish (Sunday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Bon Iver (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Josh Groban (Wednesday 7:30pm Verizon Center), Keith Urban (Thursday 7:30pm Verizon Center), Britney Spears (Sunday 7pm Verizon Center); Congressional Blues Festival feat. Kenny Wayne Shepherd (Wednesday 6:30pm National Building Museum DC); Outlaw Jam feat. Motley Crue, Poison, Brian Setzer (Saturday & Sunday Frederick Fairgrounds)

I hate driving to Bristow, Virginia for ANYTHING…but I really dig 311. I might be in…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHXCyc279Cc[/youtube]

The Good Goo Dolls may have fallen off a bit, but there was a time when they were pretty damn good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP4qdefD2To&ob=av2e[/youtube]

You can make fun of me all you want, but I’m ALL IN on Keith Urban. Honestly. It’s just a shame he can’t bring John Mayer along with him for “Sweet Thing”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiY9knTNnDg[/youtube]

I’m not sure how Brian Setzer fits in out in Fredrock at a festival that also features Poison & Motley Crue, but he’s definitely awesome…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_MMbiyVLRk[/youtube]

9. Otakon 2011 (Friday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center); “Shark Week” begins (Sunday 9pm Discovery Channel)

What do these things have to do with each other?

Actually I’m not really sure but I think there’s a good “parents’ basement” joke in there somewhere.

I’ll probably pass on Otakon again this year, but I’ll at least be willing to admit that there might be more here than initially meets the eye…

otakon

(Edit from GMC: Seriously. You go to a bar. You meet a gal. She’s attractive and engaging. You find out THIS is what she’s into. What do you do next? Your move.)

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 18 July 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Challengers-Bobby Voelker vs. Roger Bowling (Friday 11pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime); WNBA: Atlanta Dream @ Washington Mystics (Wednesday 11:30am from Verizon Center live on NBA TV); Arena Football: AFL Spokane Shock @ Jacksonville Sharks (Friday 8pm from Jacksonville live on NFL Network); CFL: Edmonton Eskimos @ Calgary Stampeders (Saturday 7pm from Calgary live on NFL Network); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Anthony Dirrell vs. Kevin Engel (Friday 9pm from Las Vegas live on ESPN2), Amir Khan vs. Zab Judah (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on HBO); Roller Derby: Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Long Island Lizards @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet/ESPN3.com)

10. Michael McDonald & Boz Scaggs (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), Dierks Bentley (Thursday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Wiz Khalifa (Sunday 3:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Lucinda Williams/Amos Lee (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Emmylou Harris (Saturday 8pm Wolf Trap); Kid Cudi (Saturday 7pm Ocean City Inlet); Ted Nugent (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live); Better Than Ezra (Friday 6pm Power Plant Live); Jimi Haha (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Marc Cohn (Saturday 9pm Rams Head On Stage); Ellie Goulding (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Jonny Lang (Tuesday 7:30pm Birchmere), Carbon Leaf (Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); Brian McKnight (Friday 8pm Strathmore); Tom Papa (Thursday-Saturday DC Improv); 311 “Universal Pulse” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

I don’t care what Paul Rudd said in “40 Year Old Virgin”, Michael McDonald kicks ass. (Note: Michael McDonald doesn’t really kick ass. But “What a Fool Believes” does.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDWGKQcQ8zw[/youtube]

It’s much too far a haul, but I’d be all in to go see Amos Lee…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDOcbMic6mI[/youtube]

Can anyone help me find an affordable place to stay in OC this weekend? I’d REALLY like to go see Kid Cudi…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRPpLGxGNZY[/youtube]

If I don’t go to OC this weekend, I’m definitely going to see BTE Friday night. This song was the soundtrack to my 7th grade…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl6gaF_6Wcs[/youtube]

9. Captain America” and “Friends With Benefits” open in theaters (Friday)

I’m all in on Captain America because…I mean…he’s Captain freaking America.

You might be surprised that I’m also in on FWB, but I am. Think about it. One-it’s a movie about Mila Kunis having sex…

kunis

Two-Justin Timberlake is legit funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOulenjUr5E[/youtube]

(Eds. Note: Why would SNL try so hard to ruin him by shoving Kristen Wiig and Lady GaGa in this sketch?)

(Eds. Note 2: No way Friends With Benefits is REALLY funny.)

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 11 July 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Diego Magdaleno vs. Alejandro Perez (Friday 11:05pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights-Pawel Wolak vs. Delvin Rodriguez (Friday 9pm from New York live on ESPN2); WNBA: Washington Mystics @ Seattle Storm (Tuesday 3pm from Seattle live on NBA TV), Washington Mystics @ Los Angeles Sparks (Sunday 8:30pm from LA live on NBA TV); Arena Football-AFL Pittsburgh Power @ Cleveland Gladiators (Friday 8pm from Cleveland live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: Saskatchewan Roughriders @ Hamilton Tiger-Cats (Saturday 4pm from Hamilton, ONT live on NFL Network), British Columbia Lions @ Edmonton Eskimos (Saturday 7pm from Edmonton live on NFL Network), Calgary Stampeders @ Winnipeg Blue Bombers (Thursday 8pm from Winnipeg live on ESPN3.com), Toronto Argonauts @ Montreal Alouettes (Saturday 7:30pm from Montreal live on ESPN3.com); Tennis: WTT New York Sportimes @ Washington Kastles (Tuesday 7pm from Kastles Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet), Springfield Lasers @ Washington Kastles (Thursday 7pm from Kastles Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet/Tennis Channel), St. Louis Aces @ Washington Kastles (Friday 7pm Kastles Stadium), Sacramento Capitals @ Washington Kastles (Monday 7pm Kastles Stadium)

10. Pat Benatar/Neil Giraldo/Dennis DeYoung (Friday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion), Peter Frampton (Sunday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Miranda Lambert (Friday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Lil’ Wayne (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); Huey Lewis & The News (Wednesday 8pm Wolf Trap); Mr. Greengenes (Friday 7pm Power Plant Live); Soundgarden (Tuesday 7:30pm Patriot Center); Jonny Lang (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Taking Back Sunday (Saturday 6pm Rams Head Live); Jimi Haha (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Tim Meadows (Friday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head On Stage), Cracker (Sunday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Interpol (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Stephen Marley (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club), Marc Broussard (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club); Edwin McCain (Thursday 7:30pm Birchmere); k.d. lang (Thursday 8pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); A Perfect Circle (Sunday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2 out in theaters (Friday)

I certainly wouldn’t pay to do it, but there’s at least a chance I’ll sit across the Pier Friday night for Dennis DeYoung. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve watched Styx: Behind The Music?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJJcR1r7u2A&feature=fvst[/youtube]

I was sitting around cracking crabs Sunday when a Lil’ Wayne tune came on Pandora. I was reminded of how much Mr. Weezy can make things…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHZtMNbrmWE[/youtube]

I’m HONESTLY debating getting in the car Tuesday night, driving the two hours or so to Fairfax (might be more like 3 given traffic) and taking in the iconic pipes of Chris Cornell. Dude is an icon…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0_zzCLLRvE[/youtube]

If you’ve never heard Jimi Haha outside of Jimmie’s Chicken Shack, I’d imagine you’d be quite pleasantly surprised…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i05XEAN9Lg[/youtube]

9. Poker-World Series of Poker (Thursday & Friday 3pm 7pm 11pm live on ESPN3.com 11pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 3:30pm live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com, Sunday 12am 3pm 10pm live on ESPN3.com 12am 10pm live on ESPN2, Monday 7pm live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com. All poker from Las Vegas)

Remember when ESPN attempted to convince us that everyone in the world would be watching/playing/caring about/paying attention to poker a few years ago?

Umm….how’d that work out?

Despite the fact that no one seems to care anymore, they’re going to provide their lengthiest/most in-depth coverage of the event ever this year. That’s good news, as I was struggling to answer the question “what am I going to not watch on TV this week?” with something besides NASCAR or golf.

Want me to watch? Try “World Series of Strip Poker” with Lais Ribeiro (thanks Guyism). I won’t guarantee I’ll watch, but I’m much more likely…

lais

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 27 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Seattle Storm @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); Arena Football: AFL Pittsburgh Power @ Orlando Predators (Friday 8pm from Orlando live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: British Columbia Lions @ Montreal Alouettes (Thursday 7:30pm from Montreal live on NFL Network), Toronto Argonauts @ Calgary Stampeders (Saturday 8pm from Calgary live on NFL Network); NBA Collective Bargaining Agreement Expires (Friday); Cycling-Tour De France (Stage 1 Saturday Stage 2 Sunday Stage 3 Monday 8am live on VERSUS)

10. R. Kelly (Friday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena/Saturday 8pm Verizon Center); Trace Adkins (Friday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Kid Cudi (Saturday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Red/Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Wednesday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); Todd Rundgren (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Matt and Kim (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club); “A Capitol Fourth” feat. Little Richard (Monday 8pm from the U.S. Capitol live on PBS); Uncle Sam Jam feat. Pat McGee Band & Blind Melon (Saturday 2pm National Harbor); Wale (Saturday 10pm Unitas Stadium), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Wednesday) and Larry Crowne (Friday) open in theaters

You can make fun of me all you want. If you don’t dig “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” you and I are simply going to have to agree to disagree…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNVguvNE7qc[/youtube]

I really feel like I should dig Kid Cudi much more than I do. All told, he’s okay…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt22KvnRSL4[/youtube]

I’ve actually seen Little Richard play once before…it was right after Maryland pasted Tennessee in the 2002 Peach Bowl. He played in the middle of downtown Atlanta, as they dropped a huge peach behind him. It kicked ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZ6h0kyqSRk[/youtube]

I don’t know how many more praises I can sing for Wale. Dude is incredible, even if he is an effing Redskins fan…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zZqtYXDeh8[/youtube]

9. 4th of July Fireworks (Monday 9:30pm Inner Harbor); 4th of July parades/fireworks throughout Baltimore County (Saturday-Monday)

I’m partial myself to the Kingsville 4th of July parade having grown up on Bradshaw Road. As a youngster, it was nice to have something to do in town on Independence Day. Or at least a refreshing change of pace from what there was to do every other day in Kingsville…

nothing

So how did we get in so much trouble????

8. Boxing: IBF/WBO/WBA Heavyweight Championship Unification-Wladimir Klitschko vs. David Haye (Saturday 4:45pm from Hamburg, GER live on HBO), Friday Night Fights-Mark Melligen vs. Sebastian Lujan (Friday 11pm from San Antonio, TX live on ESPN2)

If a heavyweight title fight is held and no one pays attention, did it really happen?

This isn’t just a “everyone has a piece of the title so we’ll fight for a tenth of it” title fight, either. This is a legitimate “heavyweight championship of the world” title fight.

And yet…crickets.

Look, if Wladimir Klitschko wants people to pay attention to his next fight, I suggest he make it a “foxy boxing” contest against Jarah Marino (Thanks Guyism)…

jarah

Hey man…I know what I have to do to get page views, Wlad might have to do the same…

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Coke Zero 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Daytona, FL live on TNT)

I was in Charles Town, West Virginia Saturday night playing the ponies to celebrate a friend’s birthday. In the 5th race, the Number 5 horse literally through its’ jockey off not even a furlong in-only to go on to “win” the race by a nose. (Without the rider the win of course did not count.)

A young man standing near the rail near our party (who I’m reasonably certain was from WV) exclaimed “I ain’t never seen the #48 car do that!

So that’s what I’ve got from the world of NASCAR this week. Oh-apparently Kurt Busch won this week’s NASCAR race. And I saw Cars 2 Friday night! While I was sitting in the theater waiting for the flick to start, I Tweeted the following (follow me on Twitter @GlennClarkWNST)…

“Out to see #Cars2 tonight. #Thingsa27yearoldwithoutkidsshouldneverTweet”

So…yep…that’s all I’ve got for NASCAR. Honestly though, what did you expect?

6. Golf: PGA Tour AT&T National (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Newton Square, PA); Champions Tour Principal Charity Classic (Friday 6:30pm Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm from West Des Moines, IA live on Golf Channel)

The National used to be an event that folks cared about because it was hosted by Tiger Woods. That was of course before Tiger Woods retired from competitive golf without having the decency to hold as much as a press conference to announce his decision.

Without Tiger, Drew Forrester will once again be the only person who cares even a little bit about the event. But since it’s near Philadelphia, it’s a great excuse to pass along this snippet of food porn…

patssteak

Look man…I’m no golf fan…but if watching a couple holes earned me a trip to Pat’s…I might be in.

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 09 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts-Bellator Fighting Championships 44 (Saturday 9pm from Atlantic City live on MTV2); Soccer: MLS-Colorado Rapids @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet); Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour Internazionali BNL D’Italia (Tuesday-Thursday 6am & 1:30pm, Friday 6am & 3:15pm, Saturday 8am & 2pm live on Tennis Channel & ESPN3.com, Saturday 10am live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from Rome, Italy); Women’s College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Navy @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm Field Hockey & Lacrosse Complex-College Park), UMass @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm Ridley Athletic Complex); Arena Football: AFL Tulsa Talons @ New Orleans VooDoo (Friday 8pm from New Orleans live on NFL Network)

10. M3 Rock Festival feat. Warrant, Kix, Whitesnake, Tesla, Sebastian Bach, Lita Ford, Mr. Big, Slaughter, Great White (Friday-Saturday Merriweather Post Pavilion); Sunday Funday feat. Amos Lee, Josh Ritter, Eric Hutchinson (Sunday 12:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Eric Benet (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Social Distortion (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live); Richard Lewis (Saturday 8pm & 10:30pm Recher Theatre); My Chemical Romance (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Echo & The Bunnymen (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Adele (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club); Bob Marley (Wednesday-Sunday DC Improv); James Taylor (Wednesday 7:30pm Hippodrome); J Roddy Walston & The Business (Wednesday 8:30pm Rock & Roll Hotel); Doug Stanhope (Thursday 8pm State Theatre); The Lonely Island “Turtleneck & Chain” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Of everyone playing at M3, I’d be most excited to rock out to this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz61YQWZuYU[/youtube]

Sunday Funday actually sounds like my kind of show. I’d dig this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm5TZX5hz3g[/youtube]

I’m not the type of Social D freak, but Social D is REALLY good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXAU4MmMIMo[/youtube]

Adele is amazing. I mean, AMAZING…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw[/youtube]

9. Preakness 5k (Saturday 10:30am Pimlico)

The cool concept behind the Preakness 5k is that human beings get to run at a track where horses…get to watch people in the infield urinate everywhere.

This is a reminder that Preakness is just a week away. You need to start making your survival plans now. Having not attended the Kentucky Derby this year, I think I might dress up a little bit this year. I’ve been looking at some former Preakness wardrobes for inspiration and I think I finally found mine…

preakness

8. Boxing: Andre Ward vs. Arthur Abraham (Saturday 10pm from Carson, CA live on Showtime); ShoBox: Sharif Bogere vs. Raymundo Beltran (Friday 11:05pm from Primm, NV live on Showtime); Friday Night Fights: Kendall Holt vs. Julio Diaz (Friday 9pm from Santa Ynez, CA live on ESPN2)

In boxing news, apparently after beating Shane Mosley easily in Las Vegas, Manny Pacquiao wandered into a club in Las Vegas and sang a few songs.

I’m sure it was awesome, but no way was it as awesome as the time he sang with Will Ferrell…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT4hHMIpnjU[/youtube]

7. Pro Lacrosse: MLL Rochester Rattlers @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium)

You know how at the beginning of NFL season everyone says “the quest for the Vince Lombardi Trophy is on”?

Or how at the start of the hockey season we hear things like “The hunt for the Stanley Cup begins”?

Well…umm…what do they say at the start of lacrosse season? Honestly, what’s the trophy for winning the lacrosse title?

In honor of not knowing, I’ll label the debut of the MLL as “The Quest to look at this picture of Belen Rodriguez begins!”

(Thanks Guyism.)

belenrod

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR FedEx 400 (Sunday 1pm from Dover live on FOX)

Oh wow. NASCAR is back in Dover. If you get lost on your way back from Ocean City this weekend, stop by to do…nothing.

Yeah, that’s all I’ve got here. Seriously…there’s nothing else worth saying. If you’ve gone before, you understand.

5. NHL Playoffs: Western Conference Semifinals-Detroit Red Wings vs. San Jose Sharks (Game 6 Tuesday 8pm from Detroit live on VERSUS, Game 7 if necessary Thursday TBD from San Jose live on VERSUS), Vancouver Canucks vs. Nashville Predators (Game 7 if necessary Wednesday TBD from Vancouver live on VERSUS); Western Conference Finals & Eastern Conference Finals: Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (begin this weekend, schedules TBD)

I couldn’t help but laugh at the misery of Washington Redskins fans last week as their beloved Capitals were so soundly dismissed by the Bolts.

HAHAHAHAHA YOUR HOCKEY TEAM SUCKS AND YOU DON’T HAVE A QUARTERBACK!

You might say that makes me a mean person. I’d say “up yours, Skins fans.”

All of Charm City is rooting for the Preds now I guess because of the Baltimore Skipjacks connection with Barry Trotz.

I’ll buy in. Cue Tim McGraw!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX4tSBPSViE[/youtube]

4. Pro Wrestling: TNA Sacrifice (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View); WWE WrestleMania 27 available on DVD (Tuesday)

WrestleMania kinda sucked, so I would assume I know at least one doughy morning sports jock who will pass on making the purchase.

I’ll also likely pass on making the purchase of the TNA PPV (I’ve passed on all of the others before that), but it doesn’t mean my opinion of Mickie James has lessened at all…

mickiejames

3. Golf: PGA Tour THE PLAYERS Championship (Thursday & Friday 1pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Ponte Vedra Beach, FL)

The Players is apparently considered the “fifth major” on the PGA Tour.

Of course, most of the REAL majors are being won by golfers no one has ever heard of (see: Schwartzel, Charl), so maybe even Drew Forrester has a chance to win TPC.

More good news. No matter how bad the real golfers are, we can still laugh at the fake golfers. Like Charles Barkley…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQwa0VrdLsQ&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

2. NBA Playoffs:Eastern Conference Semifinals-Atlanta Hawks vs. Chicago Bulls (Game 5 Tuesday 8pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 6 Thursday 8pm from Atlanta live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday TBD from Chicago live on TNT), Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics (Game 5 Wednesday 7pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Boston live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Monday 8pm from Miami live on TNT); Western Conference Semifinals-Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Memphis Grizzlies (Game 5 Wednesday 9:30pm from Oklahoma City live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Memphis live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday from Oklahoma City TBD)

If you have American blood running through your veins, you will be rooting for the Grizz the rest of the way through the playoffs.

Or if you have Venezuelan blood. Either way, you better damn well be rooting for this man…

greivis

1. College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Hofstra @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 12pm from Homewood Field live on ESPN), Maryland @ North Carolina (Sunday 1pm from Chapel Hill, NC live on ESPN2); Division 3 NCAA Tournament-Cabrini/Widener @ Stevenson (Saturday TBD Caves Athletic Complex)

Carolina again? Lord. I can’t stand the freaking Tar Heels.

I can’t find a YouTube video of the night the Terps stormed back from down 66-44 in the second half to be the Heels at the DeanDome. If anyone can track something down, please pass it along to me.

In the meantime, take this UNC fans…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwfLa-PmqpY[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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