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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 08 October 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Preseason NBA-Atlanta Hawks @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Milwaukee Bucks @ Washington Wizards (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet and NBA TV); Auto Racing: NASCAR Bank of America 500 (Saturday 7:30pm from Charlotte live on ABC); Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 120-Michael Bisping vs. Yoshihiro Akiyama (Saturday 7pm from London on SpikeTV)

10. Chelsea Handler (Friday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena); Seth Meyers (Saturday 8pm Patriot Center); Kevin Hart (Saturday 8pm & 11pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); Halloween Hootenanny feat. Rob Zombie & Alice Cooper (Sunday 3pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Aaron Lewis (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live); Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers (Wednesday 7:30pm Recher Theatre); Pharoahe Monch (Sunday 8pm Sonar); The Ataris (Monday 8pm Ottobar); Days of the New (Friday 7pm Bourbon Street); Victor Wooten (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Blood, Sweat & Tears (Wednesday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head On Stage), Jackie Greene (Thursday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Bone Thugs-n-Harmony (Wednesday 10pm 9:30 Club), Pepper (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club), Sara Bareilles (Monday 7:30pm 9:30 Club); Craig Ferguson (Saturday 7pm Warner Theatre); Darius Rucker “Charleston, SC 1966″ available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Alice Cooper still plays music? I thought he was just a golfer nowadays?!? I’ll probably miss his show, but it’s not because Rob Zombie doesn’t kick ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqQuihD0hoI[/youtube]

I was never the biggest Staind fan, but I’d be down to hear Aaron Lewis channel Eddie Vedder for sure…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sumiU0u2J9s[/youtube]

It’s been a long time since Bone Thugs was relevant, but after doing some research, they’re still pretty freaking good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsBV-P9gIC0[/youtube]

Make fun of me all you want, but I’ve already pre-ordered Darius Rucker’s disc on iTunes. It is what it is…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap7HzFlOXq4[/youtube]

9. Jackass 3D in theaters (Friday)

This is what a comedy is supposed to be all about. Forget about a plot, forget about a compelling storyline, and for god sakes don’t try to tie it up with some sort of feel good story. Just punch each other in the nuts and let me laugh, damnit…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKwjU_pSSW4[/youtube]

8. Baltimore Beer Week: Blues & Brews Festival (Friday 7pm 8×10 Club), Chesapeake Real Ale Festival (Saturday 1pm Pratt Street Ale House), Baltimore Beer Festival (Sunday 12pm Canton Waterfront Park)

If I could, I would attend all of these events. Seriously. I knew this is going to sound crazy to most of you, but these are the two things I love the most. Charm City…and Beer.

For those of you who have asked (and I thank you for considering me an expert!), here are my Top 3 pumpkin-based brews in honor of the Fall.

5-Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale

bluemoonpumpkin

4-Michelob Jack’s Pumpkin Spice Ale

jackspumpkin

3-Brooklyn Brewery Post Road Pumpkin Ale

postroad

2-Four Peaks Pumpkin Porter

porter

1-Dogfish Head Punkin Ale

punkinale

7. Boxing: Antonio Tarver vs. Nagy Aguilera (Friday 11pm from Miami, Oklahoma live on Showtime), WBC Heavyweight Championship-Shannon Briggs vs. Vitali Klitschko (Saturday 5pm from Hamburg, Germany live on ESPN3.com), Lucian Bute vs. Jesse Brinkley (Friday 9:30pm from Montreal live on ESPN3.com)

Shannon Briggs is fighting Vitali Klitschko for the WBC Heavyweight title. Yes, this is the same belt previously held by Lennox Lewis, Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield, Riddick Bowe, Larry Holmes, Ken Norton and Muhammad Ali.

Of course, it was also held by Buster Douglas and Hasim Rahman, but even they had to beat a legitimate champion to become champion. I’m pretty sure at this point we’re not far from seeing Joey Buttafuoco get a title shot…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuLWWDoN85E[/youtube]

6. High School Football: Glen Burnie @ Old Mill (Friday 6:30pm), Franklin @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm)

So I screwed up. Last Friday was NOT PHHS’s Homecoming game. I was given bad information by Barry Aparicio-who is now my roommate. A-hole.

It was particularly embarrassing when I called Gators Athletic Director Kathy Graybeal and asked her for passes to the game. (Umm…Glenn…the Homecoming game is NEXT week. MY BAD!)

There’s good news in all of this however. The good news is that I never got an answer from Daniela Pane about my Homecoming date proposal last week…

dpane

(Edit from GMC: Daniela is the person in the picture who WASN’T in the movie “Revenge of the Nerds.” Yes…the hot one.)

Here’s the deal. Daniela Pane (who is appearing in an upcoming episode of “1000 Ways to Die” on SpikeTV) is the second most talented, second most successful, second best-looking member of Perry Hall’s graduating class of 2001. I’d tell you who was first, but you already know it’s spelled “Glenn Clark.”

So Daniela, you have another week to consider my offer. I think we’d be a fantastic Homecoming couple. Boomer Sooner’s sister is in town, so she’s busy. Plus…she’d understand? Maybe not? You know, let’s worry about that some other time. The point is…the offer is on the table. I know you live in California, but it’s Friday night. You have until then to get home. No pressure.

5. NHL: New York Islanders @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet and VERSUS), Washington Capitals @ Nashville Predators (Saturday 8pm from Nashville live on Comcast SportsNet)

The Capitals played some games last weekend…blah blah blah here’s the deal. I want this Phoenix Coyotes jersey. Who wants to buy it for me???

yotes

It’s only $150. Just get it now.

4. Soccer: Team USA vs. Columbia (Tuesday 8pm from Chester, PA live on ESPN2); MLS-DC United @ Chicago Fire (Saturday 4pm from Chicago live on Comcast SportsNet); College Soccer: Clemson @ Maryland (Saturday 7pm Ludwig Field); Boston University @ UMBC (Friday 8pm from UMBC Stadium live on Fox Soccer Channel)

This one is going to be tough. I love America, we all know that. But Sofia Vergara (of “Modern Family” fame) is from Columbia…

sofia

3. College Basketball: Maryland Madness (Friday 7:45pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet) Maryland Media Day (Thursday Comcast Center)

Should the Terrapins still be holding Midnight Madness at…you know…midnight…in order to honor the fact that the whole event STARTED with Lefty Driesell in College Park? I think so, but no one pays me to think. Thank God for that.

The problem is…we’ve got a lot of other very important things going on in College Park at midnight on Friday night…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReFjlhFgHAE[/youtube]

Wasn’t what you were expecting, was it?

2. College Football: Maryland @ Clemson (Saturday 12pm from Clemson, SC live on ACC Network-WJZ 13 in Charm City), SMU @ Navy (Saturday 3:45pm from Navy-Marine Corps Stadium live on CBS College Sports)

My 12th grade journalism teacher went to Clemson. I didn’t like the Tigers then, and I certainly don’t like them now. Howard’s Rock? More like, take that stupid rock and hit someone upside the head with it, am I right?

Wait…what’s that you say???

clemson

Don’t try….

1. NFL: Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patriots (Sunday 1pm from Foxborough live on CBS)

Think it’s about time for another trip to Gillette Stadium, huh?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xEmhF9oPMc[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 05 October 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Preseason NBA-Washington Wizards @ Dallas Mavericks (Tuesday 8:30pm from Dallas live on Comcast SportsNet); Auto Racing-NASCAR Pepsi 400 (Sunday 3pm from Fontana, CA live on ESPN)

10. Slayer/Anthrax/Megadeth (Wednesday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena), So You Think You Can Dance (Tuesday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Roger Waters (Sunday 8pm Verizon Center); Hank Williams Jr. (Saturday 7pm Patriot Center), Gorillaz & N.E.R.D. (Monday 7:30pm Patriot Center); Mary J. Blige (Thursday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); Sister Hazel (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Skillet/Papa Roach/Trapt (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), The Roots (Friday 9pm Rams Head Live); Fools & Horses (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); LA Guns (Friday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); K’Naan (Sunday 8pm 9:30 Club); Pete Yorn (Wednesday 8pm Black Cat); Bob Saget (Friday 8pm Warner Theatre)

I don’t think it’s quite worth a drive to Fairfax; but I sure as hell wouldn’t mind seeing Hank Jr. play “Family Tradition”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyDie_4dOdU[/youtube]

I’m definitely making it down to PPL Friday Night. Sister Hazel was part of the soundtrack to my adolescence…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv1-wnyhmhQ[/youtube]

The Roots aren’t bringing John Legend with them to Rams Head Live, but I’m sure they’ll still figure out a way to kick some ass anyway…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji6kQl71TYU[/youtube]

I met Fools & Horses at Bill Bateman’s in Towson a few weeks ago. Turns out I once introduced them at the HFStival at Merriweather Post Pavilion. I felt bad. They’re good. Go see them…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5spGWsyEYdg[/youtube]

9. High School Football: Woodlawn @ Perry Hall (Friday 6:30pm), Arundel @ Glen Burnie (Friday 6:30pm)

Friday night is Homecoming at PHHS, which means I’m once again in the awkward position of needing to find a date. “Boomer Sooner” is going to visit a friend in North Carolina this weekend (And before any of you amateur comedians asks-No, I don’t know what his name is); so I’m scrambling for a Homecoming date. This is 11th grade all over again.

The thing is, I think I know who I’m gonna ask…

daniela

Daniela Pane, will you be my Homecoming date?

(Edit from GMC: I’M SO NERVOUS!!!!)

8. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce-Nick Diaz vs. KJ Noons II (Saturday 10pm from San Jose live on Showtime)

With no offense to the many talented MMA fighters who are participating in the event Saturday night, every time I see that Strikeforce is putting a card on, there’s only one thing I’m concerned about.

IS GINA CARANO FIGHTING?!?!?!?

carano

The answer is “no” this week. Because the answer is “no”, I’ll admit that I’m not quite as excited…

7. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Bound For Glory” (Sunday 8pm from Daytona Beach, FL live on Pay-Per-View)

Usually I post a picture of some hot wrestling gal here and say something like “Here’s a good reason to get the TNA PPV Sunday night.” Instead, I think Jeff Hardy is a hell of a reason to get the TNA PPV Sunday night…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVDdMHa9BbI[/youtube]

6. Soccer: Team USA Women vs. China (Wednesday 7pm from Chester, PA live on ESPN2), Team USA vs. Poland (Saturday 8pm from Chicago live on Fox Soccer Channel); MLS-San Jose Earthquakes @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS & MLS Direct Kick); College Soccer: UConn @ Maryland (Tuesday 7:30pm Ludwig Field); Manhattan @ Loyola (Friday 7pm Ridley Athletic Complex), St. Peter’s @ Loyola (Sunday 1pm Ridley Athletic Complex)

This is tough for me. I’m CLEARLY going to pull for the American women during their showdown up in Philly, but I will admit that it is tough for me to root against a country that gave us Orange Chicken…

orangechicken

5. “Secretariat” in theaters (Friday)

Boomer Sooner and I went over to Arundel Mills the other night to check this flick out. It’s good-especially for a Disney movie. Not “Remember The Titans” good, but certainly “We Are Marshall” good.

A couple of things though. One-Is it just me, or does Diane Lane somehow just keep getting hotter as she gets older???

dianelane

2-I’m very happy that Laurel rider Grant Whitacre got a role in the flick, he did a solid job in limited time on-camera. But the real question is-how did Glenn Clark NOT get a role in the movie??? I COMPLETELY look the part!!!!

glennclark

4. Maryland Oktoberfest (Saturday 12pm Timonium Fairgrounds); Baltimore Beer Week Opening Tap Celebration (Thursday 6pm Baltimore Museum of Industry)

GLOR.I.OUS.

germangirls
beers
sausage

3. College Football: Navy @ Wake Forest (Saturday 6:30pm from Winston-Salem live on ESPN3.com), James Madison @ Towson (Saturday 7pm Unitas Stadium), Dickinson @ Johns Hopkins (Friday 7pm Homewood Field)

So if Towson can somehow beat JMU…who beat Virginia Tech…who beat NC State…who beat Cincinnati…who has a chance to beat West Virginia…who beat Maryland…who beat Duke…who beat Butler when Gordon Hayward missed that shot…does that mean that the Tigers would somehow be the transitive NCAA Basketball Champions?!?!?

Would look pretty impressive on Rob Ambrose’s resume…

2. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Atlanta Thrashers (Friday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on Comcast SportsNet), New Jersey Devils @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Ottawa Senators @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

The NHL is back for real Friday night. Make your plans accordingly. Mine will probably involve a significant amount of Moosehead and a Saturday afternoon of screaming at my TV while the Phoenix Coyotes face the Boston Bruins in Prague on VERSUS. Just don’t bother me during that stretch.

Would any of you weirdo Caps fans be interested in a trip to Arizona to for the game against the Desert Dogs on Valentine’s Day?

Trust me, it would beat your other Valentine’s Day plans…

underwear

1. NFL: Denver Broncos @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 1pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on CBS)

This is a bit of a tricky situation. I mean, we all know I’ll be FULLY behind the Ravens on Sunday; but if Kyle Orton gets hurt-it could pain me.

I mean, how in the hell do you root against THIS GUY?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-qodBTlMtA[/youtube]

I mean, Tim Tebow really does do God’s work. He helped Florida beat Oklahoma in the BCS Championship Game. What more can you ask for in the world???

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 27 September 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts: WEC-Jose Aldo vs. Manny Gamburyan (Thursday 9pm from Broomfield, CO live on VERSUS), Bellator Fighting Championships 31 (Thursday 8pm from Lake Charles, LA live on Fox Sports Net); NBA: Washington Wizards Training Camp Midnight Tip-Off (Tuesday 12am Patriot Center), Washington Wizards Fan Fest (Sunday 11am Patriot Center); High School Football: Glen Burnie @ Broadneck (Friday 6:30pm), Perry Hall @ Kenwood (Friday 7pm); Auto Racing: NASCAR Price Chopper 400 (Sunday 1pm from Kansas City, Kansas live on ESPN), IndyCar Series Cafes do Brasil Indy 300 (Saturday 6pm from Homestead-Miami live on VERSUS); NHL: Boston Bruins @ Washington Capitals (Tuesday 7pm Verizon Center), Columbus Blue Jackets @ Washington Capitals (Friday 7pm Verizon Center), Nashville Predators @ Washington Capitals (Sunday 12:30pm Verizon Center); Capitals Convention 2010 (Saturday 12pm Washington Convention Center)

10. Godsmack (Sunday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Jason DeRulo (Friday 8pm Rams Head Live); Wale (Friday 9pm Sonar); Marc Cohn (Wednesday 6pm & 9pm Rams Head On Stage), Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (Sunday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Sheryl Crow (Wednesday 8pm Strathmore); Leon Redbone (Friday 7pm Silver Spring Performing Arts Center); Drake (Saturday 8pm Sunday 7pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); James Otto (Saturday 12pm Laurel Park); They Might Be Giants (Saturday 6pm Millennium Stage); One Night One Show One Cause feat. Derek Trucks & Susan Tedeschi Band (Sunday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); Jimmy Eat World “Invented” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

A few things I like here. First of all, Jason DeRulo will be dismissed by some as a “Flavor of the Day” type R&B/Pop Star. There’s some truth to that, but he’s a little bit better than that…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ESdn0MuJWQ[/youtube]

Wale and Drake are both amongst the brightest stars in hip-hop right now. Drake has certainly benefited from having Lil’ Wayne as a mentor…(Language NSFW, unless you work for Young Money. If you do, tell Nicki Minaj I said hello!)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fo9akQvsNI[/youtube]

I’m going to admit here that while I don’t think it would ever lead me to buy tickets to a Redbone show…there’s NOTHING I like more than “Come Get Your Love”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0QK5ud1DZo[/youtube]

Go see Derek Trucks. I repeat. Go see Derek Trucks.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrB-tTKxY6w[/youtube]

9. “Iron Man 2″ available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday), “Get Him To The Greek” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday), “Family Guy: Partial Terms of Endearment” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday); “The Social Network” opens in theaters (Friday)

I like all of these things.

1-I want to be Tony Stark. More than anything in the world…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o1wind1iUc[/youtube]

2-”Get Him to the Greek” was not “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, but it was pretty frickin’ good. (Language NSFW-ish. And by “ish” I mean, yeah, you probably shouldn’t watch this if language is an issue where you work. I should probably be more direct…)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKac-fd8iyw[/youtube]

I fully understand why FOX didn’t let the episode on TV, but “Partial Terms of Endearment” looks pretty funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KwDOaCgYdE[/youtube]

Maybe it has a lot to do with “Power” by Kanye West being in the trailer (and the fact that the flick was filmed at JHU); but I’m REALLY looking forward to seeing the Facebook movie. It looks pretty good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppamk0iTCQ8[/youtube]

8. Chick-Fil-A Spicy Nuggets giveaway (Tuesday-Saturday at all area Chick-Fil-A locations including Chick-Fil-A Nottingham Square)

I’ve “broken” a few stories in my day, but I will admit that none have been particularly earth shattering. I mean, Mark Viviano broke the news that the Cleveland Browns were moving to Charm City. Until I do something like that, I know my competition.

But for once in my life, I feel like I finally have a major…MAJOR…news story I can break.

Chick-Fil-A is of course rolling out their new Spicy Nuggets this week, and at first they will be rolling them out with a ranch dipping sauce. BUT-sources have confirmed to WNST.net’s Glenn Clark that they will ALSO be rolling out a blue cheese dipping sauce within weeks to go along with them.

I’ll have more on this developing story as it becomes available. Make sure you stay tuned to Glenn Clark’s blog for ALL of your late-breaking Chick-Fil-A news!

You see, I knew I had a major breaking news story in me…

7. Soccer: MLS-DC United @ Colorado Rapids (Saturday 9pm from Commerce City, Colorado live on MLS Direct Kick); College Soccer: Duke @ Maryland (Friday 8pm from Ludwig Field live on Fox Soccer Channel); EA Sports FIFA 11 available for Playstation 3/XBox360/Wii (Tuesday)

It pleases me that Maryland is playing Duke in both soccer AND football this weekend. You see, I despise the Blue Devils-so this is right up my alley. Do you despise the Blue Devils? If not, you’re a bad person. (I’m looking at you, Chad Lamasa!)

As an aside, I LOVE FIFA. Seriously, my freshman year of college was half wasted playing FIFA with my roommate-the great Matt Saenz. That wasn’t all we did though. We also did more productive things…

beer

6. Horse Racing: Jim McKay Maryland Million Day (Saturday 12:35pm Laurel Park)

It’s hard to get anyone excited about Horse Racing in the Old Line State during football season; but this really IS the 3rd best day of racing all year, and certainly the best day of the year to be at Laurel Park.

Now, if Laurel Park REALLY wants to attract a crowd on Maryland Million Day (and also honor the great Jim McKay in the process), I really think they should consider going with one of the sport’s great voices as track announcer Saturday…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxdK9xANQZA[/youtube]

5. Pro Wrestling: WWE “Hell in a Cell” (Sunday 8pm from Dallas live on Pay-Per-View)

Kane is scheduled to face The Undertaker Sunday night in a big Hell in a Cell matchup. Whatever happens, it probably won’t be as memorable for Kane as the whole Triple H/Katie Vick incident. WEIRD…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1ZDwSNdi0Y[/youtube]

4. Lingerie Football League: Tampa Breeze @ Baltimore Charm (Friday 9pm 1st Mariner Arena)

Sure, the Baltimore Charm fell 60-6 to the Philadelphia Passion in the first game in franchise history-but-uh-does anyone REALLY care about the results in these games?

I mean, with no offense…

Also, in perusing the interwebs for more information about the LFL team, I found out that former Maxim model Rachel Kagay tried out for the team. So the question is…did she make it? This is very important…

kagay

3. Golf: Ryder Cup (Friday 2:30am live on ESPN, Saturday 8am Sunday 7am live on NBC. All golf from Newport, Wales); Champions Tour Ensure Classic at Rock Barn (Friday-Sunday 2pm from Conover, NC live on Golf Channel)

Apparently this is some sort of big deal. I’d tell you more about it but I just don’t know. Apparently there are players in the thing named Francesco Molinari and Edoardo Molinari.

Interestingly enough, I prefer the Edoardo Molinari when I’m at Amicci’s in Little Italy.

If they manage to win the thing, I hope the party looks like it did in 1999. That’s the only way I’d care…

tiger

2. College Football: Duke @ Maryland (Saturday 6pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPN3.com), Navy @ Air Force (Saturday 2:30pm from Colorado Springs live on VERSUS), UMass @ Towson (Saturday 7pm Unitas Stadium), Bethune-Cookman @ Morgan State (Saturday 4pm Hughes Stadium), Muhlenberg @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 2pm Homewood Field)

I have two simple words for you.

Duck Fuke.

1. NFL: Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers (Sunday 1pm from Pittsburgh live on CBS)

In fairness, I get MORE excited for Steelers week when Ben Roethlisberger is playing.

I met a Steelers fan at Looney’s in Bel Air over the summer. When I was introduced to her, I said “so is it mom, or do you go ahead with ‘Aunt Mom’”???

stillers

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 21 September 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Soccer-NASL: Portland Timbers @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 4pm Paul Angelo Russo Stadium-Calvert Hall); MLS-Houston Dynamo @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet); NBA-Washington Wizards Pep Rally (Monday 10pm Presidents Park)

10. Virgin Mobile FreeFest feat. Ludacris, T.I., Joan Jett, M.I.A., Jimmy Eat World, Temper Trap (Saturday 12pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Sunday In The Country feat. Lady Antebellum, Eric Church, Joe Nichols (Sunday 2pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Casey Cares Foundation Bash feat. Night Ranger (Saturday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); Broken Lizard Live (Friday 9pm Recher Theatre), Laughing Colors (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Anti-Flag (Tuesday 8pm Ottobar); Shooter Jennings (Saturday 8pm 8×10 Club); Big Head Todd and the Monsters (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club); WMZQ Fall Fest feat. Sugarland, Little Big Town (Saturday 4pm Jiffy Lube Live); Alice In Chains (Sunday 7pm Patriot Center); !!! (Wednesday 8pm Black Cat); Lewis Black (Thursday-Saturday 8pm Warner Theatre); Macy Gray (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Zac Brown Band “You Get What You Give” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday), John Legend & The Roots “Wake Up” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday), Maroon 5 “Hands All Over” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Despite the fact that Pavement and Thievery Corporation do nothing for me, I am REALLY excited about the bill at VirginFest. Especially the (particularly underrated) Temper Trap…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C8e7nNLZNs[/youtube]

I have no idea if I’m going to make it down to Columbia for VirginFest, but I KNOW I’m getting to Columbia on Sunday for WPOC’s event after the Ravens beat the Browns; mostly because “Boomer Sooner” and I happen to really dig the new Lady Antebellum tune…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaOKbvpxnTo[/youtube]

BROKEN LIZARD LIVE?!?!? How can I possibly not be in Towson Friday night? Super Troopers? Beerfest? Might be NSFW, but also amazing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SOsPCL4hXw[/youtube]

It’s very difficult logistically to get to Washington to see Lewis Black, but it would certainly be worth it. You can bring grandma, the language is right up her alley. Just NSFW…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mCDZMWVWuc[/youtube]

I saw Zac Brown Band 3 times this summer (Preakness and two Dave Matthews Band shows), so I’ve heard a lot of their new record. I really dig “Settle Me Down”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRD-MyRS8KU[/youtube]

9. “30 Rock” season premiere (Thursday 8:30pm NBC), “The Office” season premiere (Thursday 9pm NBC); “Modern Family” season premiere (Wednesday 9pm ABC); “The Simpsons” season premiere (Sunday 8pm FOX), “The Cleveland Show” season premiere (Sunday 8:30pm FOX), “Family Guy” season premiere (Sunday 9pm FOX)

All of these shows are hilarious.  I give you Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTj47rcuM-4[/youtube]

And while a bit played out, Jim & Pam’s wedding from “The Office” is pretty strong…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX7iwwB9zQ4[/youtube]

I just got into “Modern Family” last season. This is my mistake…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaPKYd2XujY[/youtube]

I have no idea if The Simpsons have this awesome of an intro to go to again; but I can certainly hope…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faRlFsYmkeY[/youtube]

Apparently The Cleveland Show is bringing Kanye West back this season. Was pretty good last year…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWjqEgDymus[/youtube]

And my favorite clip in Family Guy history??? “Who wants CHOWDER?!?!?”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eYSpIz2FjU[/youtube]

8. Baltimore Book Festival (Friday-Sunday 12pm Mt. Vernon Place)

I’m not much of a bookworm, but I know some other folks who are. Myself, I might stop by the Festival. Why? Have you heard who’s going to be there???

ventura

7. NHL: Washington Capitals Training Camp scrimmage (Tuesday 12pm Kettler Capitals IcePlex)

The Caps are also playing a couple of preseason games at Columbus and Nashville this week; but there’s no TV so I didn’t include them.

I’m not one to “Rock The Red”, but I will admit that I’m happy to have hockey back for two reasons.

One…Carrie Underwood is now married to a hockey player…Mike Fisher from the Ottawa Senators. The more we see of her, the better…

underwood

Two…it’s time to HOWL!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdlGBJj1jzE[/youtube]

6. High School Football: Parkville @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ Northeast (Friday 6:30pm)

I know we got worked over a bit by Tuscarora last week, but there’s NO CHANCE the Gators could possibly lose to the Knights, is there???

If so, I think I should probably wander over to PHHS with another great Perry Hall alum to give a stern pep talk…

melewski

5. Auto Racing: NASCAR AAA 400 (Sunday 1pm from Dover live on ESPN)

Since you’re gonna be in Delaware, might as well throw down a few bets while you’re there. For example, I’d bet on Jimmie Johnson to win the car race. I don’t know anything about it, but he wins a lot.

I’d also bet on West Virginia against LSU Saturday. Just have a hunch.

Oh…and I’d also bet on Randy Orton against Sheamus at Hell in a Cell. I mean, the guy once took out Triple H AND Ric Flair within moments…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXrBPvIck3M[/youtube]

4. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs The Tour Championship (Thursday & Friday 1pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 10am live on Golf Channel 12pm live on NBC, Sunday 11:30am live on Golf Channel, 1:30pm live on NBC. All golf from Atlanta); Champions Tour SAS Championship (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm on Golf Channel. All golf from Cary, NC)

Apparently the TOUR Championship has some sort of significance. For me, it’s the significance that Drew Forrester won’t be able to talk about golf on “The Morning Reaction” anymore. That IS significant.

You know what else is significant? The uniforms Team USA will wear for the Ryder Cup…

rydercup

Snazzy. Almost as snazzy as a uniform I saw at another major sporting event earlier this year…

glennclark

3. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 119-Frank Mir vs. Mirko Cro Cop (Saturday 10pm from Indianapolis live on Pay-Per-View); Bellator Fighting Championships 30 (Thursday 7pm from Louisville live on Fox Sports Net)

Indianapolis, huh? Home of “the best dang football team in the whole USA”? Hope Dana White and company say hello to Merton while they’re in “The Friendly Heart of the Midwest.”

Also, do I know why UFC Magazine included a photo shoot with Holly Madison? I do not. Do I care? Of course I don’t. (Thanks Guyism!)

hollymadison

2. College Football: Florida International @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU)

I’m not sure Isaiah Thomas’ boys are quite ready for a showdown with the Terps just yet. Not them? Oh.

In other college football action this week, Boise State is hosting Oregon State Saturday night. To prepare for the trip to Boise, the folks in Beavers country had a unique idea…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vcA_vgImHQ[/youtube]

I’m moving into a new house next Thursday. I will be doing this there.

1. NFL: Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 1pm from M&T Bank  Stadium live on CBS-WJZ 13 locally)

A retro classic…

chickfila

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 14 September 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Tennis-Davis Cup: Team USA vs. Columbia (Friday 11am Saturday 12pm Sunday 11am from Bogota, Columbia live on Tennis Channel); NHL-Philadelphia Flyers rookies @ Washington Capitals rookies (Thursday 3pm Kettler Capitals IcePlex)

10. HFStival feat. Third Eye Blind, Billy Idol, Everclear, Ed Kowalczyk from Live and more (Saturday 12pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Crosby, Stills & Nash (Wednesday 7:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), Several Species (Saturday 7pm Pier Six Pavilion), Widespread Panic (Sunday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Rush (Saturday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); Mr. Greengenes (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Chiddy Bang (Thursday 7:30pm University of Maryland Grand Ballroom); Good Charlotte (Tuesday 7:30pm Bourbon Street), Trainwreck featuring Kyle Gass from Tenacious D (Monday 8pm Bourbon Street)

What’s happening at Merriweather Saturday is by NO MEANS the “HFStival”, but it actually does look like something I would attend…for free. Especially after I think back on the memories of the HFStival at M&T Bank Stadium and Billy Idol kicking ASS in the rain. Does anyone have video of “Mony Mony” from that show? His Storytellers performance will have to do for now…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06wtwJFl0Xc[/youtube]

Oh right, Everclear will be there too. I enjoy Everclear…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQiBop5ns8k[/youtube]

You probably haven’t heard of Chiddy Bang, but I feel like you should have…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McRgkE_vgjU[/youtube]

And hate on them all you want, but I DIG Good Charlotte. Not just because of Benji Madden’s Orioles tattoos-but also because “Festival Song” is a life anthem for me…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4t54bPUvmg[/youtube]

9. Halo: Reach available on XBox 360 (Tuesday), Linkin Park “A Thousand Suns” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

I would tell you something about Halo: Reach here, but I know absolutely NOTHING about Halo: Reach, Halo: Crest, Halo: Fallen, or anything else like that.

Instead, I figured I’d post a picture of a sexy video game nerd girl and just move on from there. When I Google Image Searched “sexy nerd”, Sarah Shahi came up for some reason…

shahi

I don’t know why she’s listed as a sexy nerd, but if this is ANY type of nerd…I’ll start playing EVERY VIDEO GAME IN THE WORLD tomorrow.

8. High School Football: Perry Hall @ Tuscarora (Thursday 7pm), Annapolis @ Glen Burnie (Thursday 6:30pm)

As I am officially “old” at 27 (yeah, it makes me OLD. Just the way it is. I’ve accepted it.), I no longer know what’s “cool” amongst high school kids. I thought it might be POGS, but apparently that was what was cool with MIDDLE school kids…when I was in middle school.

I thought maybe it was prune juice, but apparently that’s what’s popular with folks whose GRANDKIDS are in high school.

I finally decided to consult the internet. The internet knows everything. You know what they said was big amongst high school kids this year? You might remember it being popular during your own high school years…

Smoking.

Ridiculous. Smoking is gross. You could get lung cancer. You could die. Or WORSE-you could end up looking like Amy Winehouse!!!

winehouse

7. Soccer: NASL-Carolina RailHawks @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 5pm Paul Angelo Russo Stadium Calvert Hall), MLS-DC United @ LA Galaxy (Saturday 10pm from Los Angeles live on Fox Soccer Channel); College Soccer-Maryland @ Loyola (Tuesday 7pm Ridley Athletic Complex), Loyola @ Towson (Sunday 1pm Towson Center Field), La Salle @ UMBC (Wednesday 7pm UMBC Stadium)

I love Greyhounds coach Mark Mettrick. I would love him more if his name was “Terrapins coach Mark Mettrick.” Unfortunately the guy who has that job is pretty freaking good.

Anyway, DC United plays LA Galaxy this week. Sadly, I could not find the clip of Joe Lo Truglio screaming for the Galaxy from “I Love You Man.” Instead, you’ll have to settle for the clip of Joe Lo Truglio working as a weightlifting spotter…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ZVL_uk-U2w[/youtube]

6. Boxing: Shane Mosley vs. Sergio Mora (Saturday 9pm from Los Angeles live on HBO PPV)

With no offense to Shane Mosley…or boxing in general…I’m just not that interested in this. Or just about anything else the sport could offer anymore.

But the real question is how could Shane Mosley stand a CHANCE against a real boxer when he BARELY beat Shaquille O’Neal???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orMCfRxJ33E[/youtube]

5. Auto Racing: NASCAR Sylvania 300 (Sunday 1pm from Loudon, NH live on ESPN), IndyCar Series Indy Japan 300 (Saturday 11pm from Motegi, Tochigi live on VERSUS)

Japan was the only place Danica Patrick has managed to pick up an IndyCar victory in her career. Oh hey look-here’s a picture of Danica Patrick in a bikini from the SI photo shoot she did who knows how long ago…

danica

4. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC Fight Night-Nate Marquardt vs. Rousimar Palhares (Wednesday 8pm from Austin, TX live on SpikeTV)

I don’t know how many times I can explain that events like this are why MMA continues to grow at historic levels. These are QUALITY fighters on a free, over-the-air, well-promoted card.

However, what the hell else are they showing on SpikeTV these days? What is 1000 Ways to Die? I don’t understand it AT ALL…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5YlNvsZhjU[/youtube]

3. Pro Wrestling: WWE Night of Champions (Sunday 8pm from Chicago live on Pay-Per-View)

There are rumors floating around that there is a contract dispute between Chris Jericho and WWE, and this could be Y2J’s final appearance. I cannot stress…AT ALL…what an incredible mistake that would be on the part of Vince McMahon and company.

Why? This is why.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rd2zhPN5-Es[/youtube]

2. College Football: Maryland @ West Virginia (Saturday 12pm from Morgantown, WV live on ESPNU), Navy @ Louisiana Tech (Saturday 7pm from Ruston, Louisiana live on ESPN3.com), Towson @ Villanova (Saturday 3:30pm from Philadelphia live on Comcast SportsNet)

Dear Lord. Please…oh PLEASE do not allow a grown man who dresses up like Davy Crockett to be happy on Saturday…

wvu

People make fun of the fact that we havea turtle as a mascot in College Park. The Mountaineers have Davy FREAKING Crockett.

1. NFL: Baltimore Ravens @ Cincinnati Bengals (Sunday 1pm from Cincinnati live on CBS-WJZ 13 locally)

Look, I DON’T like Chad Ochocinco. Trust me on that. I hope Ray Lewis pops him in the mouth twice as hard as he did at M&T Bank Stadium last year. But when the guy’s funny, the guy’s funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHXZ62wwmRE[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 07 September 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Soccer-NASL: Vancouver Whitecaps @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 5pm Paul Angelo Russo Stadium-Calvert Hall), MLS: DC United @ Toronto FC (Saturday 4pm from Toronto live on Comcast SportsNet and MLS Direct Kick); Mixed Martial Arts: Shine Fights (Friday 9pm from Oklahoma live on Pay-Per-View)

10. Lady Gaga (Tuesday 8pm Verizon Center); Buckcherry/Flyleaf/Charm City Devils/Sick Puppies (Thursday 6pm Power Plant Live), Blues Traveler (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Kottonmouth Kings (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Toadies (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live), Seether (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Pat McGee (Saturday 8:30pm Rams Head On Stage), Ozomatli (Monday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Big Boi (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club); Blondie (Wednesday 8:30pm State Theatre); Deadliest Catch Live (Wednesday 8pm Lyric Opera House); York Fair (Friday-Monday York Fairgrounds); Maryland Seafood Festival (Friday-Sunday Sandy Point State Park); In The Street Festival (Saturday 11am Market Street & Carroll Creek Linear Park Frederick)

I’m leaving Lady Gaga alone. I’m probably the only one in the world who will do that. Trust me, I find her just as fascinating as the rest of you-but there’s NO chance I’d pay money to go see her live.

You see what you made me do? I spent 42 words on Lady Gaga. Ugh.

Moving on, I’m a much bigger fan of Flyleaf than you’d ever realize…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xN0FFK8JSYE[/youtube]

I WILL be attending Blues Traveler after the Purple Party Friday night. John Popper and I are kindred souls…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ousaiByU1ko[/youtube]

“Possum Kingdom” might be the only song I’m really interested in seeing the Toadies do, but it’s really a hell of a song…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oFyv6Y2J9Lw[/youtube]

I LOVE Outkast in a way that doesn’t fit the love I feel for a lot of other things in the world. Big Boi’s new record is freaking TREMENDOUS, if not necessarily Safe For Work…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiwDs01pfZM[/youtube]

9. EA Sports NHL 11 available in stores for XBox 360/PS3 (Tuesday)

If I had time to play NHL 11, there is no doubt that I would somehow find a way to make Viktor Tikhonov the greatest player in the league.

By the way, if I DID play NHL 11-there would be a 100% chance you’d see a Jason Lee/Jeremy London type moment from “Mallrats” with me…

“Hartford, the Whale? They beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.”

If you get the reference, you’re a winner. And I offer this to you as a prize. Oh but once again, it isn’t necessarily the type of prize that has language completely safe for work…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MfVVjpVZP8I[/youtube]

8. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs-BMW Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 12pm Sunday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Lemont, Illinois); LPGA Tour P&G NW Arkansas Championship Presented by Walmart (Friday 12:30pm, Saturday & Sunday 4pm from Rogers, Arkansas live on Golf Channel); Champions Tour Posco E&C Songdo Championship (Friday-Sunday 6:30pm from Songdo, Korea live on Golf Channel); Team USA Ryder Cup Selection Show (Tuesday 10:30am Golf Channel)

A week after some dude named Matt Kuchar won a golf tournament, some dude named Charley Hoffman won the next one. I’m not even kidding about this-when I heard Charley Hoffman had won a playoff event, I thought “Brandt” from The Big Lebowski had somehow been victorious.

Oh and also, Tiger Woods is still mediocre. Which is (I guess) enough to warrant coverage on SportsCenter. Frankly, I’d prefer more table tennis highlights myself…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJn5L1nrkL4[/youtube]

7. Auto Racing-NASCAR Air Guard 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Richmond live on ABC)

I’d like to pretend I care about this. I know Rex Snider is taking some sort of bus trip down to Richmond Saturday, but it just isn’t my type of thing. Not because I’m shallow-minded, but more because I just like to actually be ENTERTAINED when I spend my entertainment dollar.

Speaking of entertaining, this Oregon Trail-related photo qualifies (Thanks Gorilla Mask!)…

oregontrail

6. High School Football: Southern @ Glen Burnie (Friday 6:30pm), Overlea @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm)

Uh oh.

You mean to tell me that Overlea-home of the Falcons-is facing Perry Hall-home of the mighty Gators-Friday night?

AN ALMA MATER SHOWDOWN BETWEEN GLENN CLARK AND THE GREAT TOM CLARK?!?!?!

tomclark

You’re going down, dad.

5. Basketball: FIBA World Championships-Team USA vs. Russia quarterfinal (Thursday 11am from Istanbul, Turkey live on ESPN), Semifinals and Final (Friday-Sunday from Istanbul live on ESPN)

HOLY CRAP I LOVE THIS. USA-Russia?!?!?!? DOWN WITH THE SOVIETS!!!

Let’s do to them what we did to Ivan Drago…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqT34mnSBio[/youtube]

4. Pro Wrestling: WWE Smackdown (Tuesday 6:45pm from 1st Mariner Arena-airs Friday 8pm on MyNetwork24)

Despite the fact that there’s way too much Jack Swagger, Big Show, Rey Mysterio and Cody Rhodes on Smackdown, I still kinda dig it. Undertaker is a rock star, Kane is underrated, and the combination of CM Punk, Matt Hardy and Christian is completely underused.

And oh yeah-they also have Rosa Mendes…

rosamendes

3. College Football: Morgan State @ Maryland (Saturday 6pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPN3.com); Georgia Southern @ Navy (Saturday 3:30pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on CBS College Sports)

The Terrapins may have been fortunate to survive the “Crab Bowl Classic” against the Midshipmen; but the fact remains that they ARE 1-0.

The other fact remains that Kenny Tate has earned himself a few free dinners in the future…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Avj6Bs37qJI[/youtube]

2. Tennis: U.S. Open (Tuesday-Thursday 11am live on Tennis Channel 7pm live on ESPN2, Friday 12:30pm live on CBS, Saturday 12pm-mens semifinals 8pm-Women’s Final live on CBS, Sunday 1pm Women’s Doubles Final live on ESPN2 4pm Men’s Final live on CBS. All tennis from New York)

At this point, I think it’s fair to say I’m COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT about heading up to Flushing Meadows Sunday. There’s roughly 0.1% chance an American will be there (no pressure Sam Querrey), but if it’s Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal everything will be cool in my book.

And you don’t even need to bother asking. I WILL be purchasing a few of these while I’m in The Big Apple…

tennisball

1. NFL: Monday Night Football-Baltimore Ravens @ New York Jets (Monday 7pm from East Rutherford, New Jersey live on ESPN); WNST “Purple Friday” Pep Rally (Friday 5pm Sports Legends at Camden Yards)

FOOTBALL IS REALLY (REALLY) BACK.

Oh. Thank. God.

Me personally, I think it will be cool not only to see the Ravens back in action Monday night, but also to see some of my favorite reality TV stars like Antonio Cromartie and Rex Ryan…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHe1AT-rk50[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ywxfeG2oOo[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 30 August 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: College Football-Towson @ Indiana (Thursday 7:30pm from Bloomington, Ind. live on Big Ten Network), Bowie State @ Morgan State (Saturday 6pm Hughes Stadium); Auto Racing: NASCAR Emory Healthcare 500 (Sunday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on ESPN), IndyCar Series Kentucky 300 (Saturday 8pm from Sparta, Kentucky live on VERSUS); Soccer: U.S. Open Cup-Columbus Crew @ DC United (Wednesday 7:30pm RFK Stadium), MLS-Columbus Crew @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Fox Soccer Channel)

10. Budweiser Superfest feat. Anthony Hamilton (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), The O’Jays & Ron Isley (Friday 7pm Pier Six Pavilion), REO Speedwagon & Pat Benatar (Saturday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Disturbed & Avenged Sevenfold (Tuesday 4pm Jiffy Lube Live), Jimmy Buffett (Thursday & Saturday 8pm Jiffy Lube Live); Tantric & Adema (Tuesday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); Cowboy Mouth (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); NAS & Damien Marley (Tuesday 8pm Sonar), 30 Seconds to Mars (Wednesday 7pm Sonar); Bret Michaels (Wednesday 8pm Maryland State Fair), Justin Bieber (Sunday 7pm Maryland State Fair); Hot Hot Heat (Saturday 9pm Ottobar)

This list is MUCH better than it probably looks like at first. I won’t make it to Buffett Thursday night because the Ravens are playing. If I was there, I’d probably just keep yelling “SOUTHERN CROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!” anyway….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Ah-Ch8NQ4[/youtube]

I used to do radio broadcasts for the Arizona Rattlers during my time in Phoenix; and they once brought Tantric by during the first half. They didn’t leave at any point during the game. I’m pretty sure there were both hookers AND blow….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Ah-Ch8NQ4[/youtube]

I’m not really a big Nas fan, but “One Mic” is one of the greatest songs in hip-hop history. Note-lyrics NSFW…unless of course you work at Jo-Ann Fabrics. We all know the deal there…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQbCC8S-ErE[/youtube]

I can’t freaking STAND Jared Leto, but damnit if “Kings and Queens” isn’t amongst the Top 10 songs of 2010…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMX3qv1N37s[/youtube]

9. Glenn Clark’s Birthday (Monday)

I don’t usually like to make this all about me, but I figured I could offer a plea here. I rarely ask you all for anything, but I would REALLY like this Robert McClintock piece for my birthday this year. Just consider it an investment on future brilliant material from “The Tradition”…

chips

8. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs-Deutsche Bank Championship (Friday & Saturday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Sunday 3pm Monday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Norton, Massachusetts), Champions Tour Home Care & Hospice First Tee Open at Pebble Beach (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Monterey, CA live on Golf Channel)

Some dude named Matt Kuchar won the first event in the playoffs. I’m reasonably certain we were in Mrs. Lutz-Itzoe’s 3rd grade class at Chapel Hill Elementary School together.

Seriously, can’t Tiger Woods just ACTUALLY be “back” one of these weeks?!?!?!

I’m reasonably certain this guy is gonna end up winning the 2nd playoff event in Boston…

rex

7. Pro Wrestling: WWE Raw (Monday 9pm from Verizon Center live on USA Network); TNA “No Surrender” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

As a veteran of plenty of live WWE, WWF and WCW events, there are a few things you need to know before you head to the arena:

1-If you bring a sign, make it funny. If it just says “The Champ is Here” because you’re a John Cena fan-you had better be 12 years old. If you’re closer to my age and want to bring a sign, it better be something creative-like Sheamus’ face with the words “You Can’t See Me.” You see, it’s clever because Sheamus is an albino and it uses another of John Cena’s catch phrases. Taking notes?

2-Bringing your own championship belt might seem lame-but it isn’t. Bring yours, and carry it over your shoulder. Wear sunglasses too. Championship belts around the waist-again-are for kids.

3-I liked Stone Cold Steve Austin as much as anyone. But chanting “What?” after everything that is said is grounds for the guy behind you to “accidentally” spill two beers on you. Don’t be lame.

4-Remind your kids they shouldn’t do this type of stuff at home. Unless of course they want to be like Ric Flair. In which case, let them do whatever the hell they please…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy-LQH8N6Ug[/youtube]

6. Basketball: FIBA World Championships-Team USA vs. Iran (Wednesday 12pm live on ESPN), Tunisia vs. Team USA (Thursday 9:30am live on ESPN2; both games from Istanbul) Round of 16 games (Saturday-Monday from Istanbul live on ESPN & ESPN3.com)

Is Tunisia where the Tasmanian Devil is from?!?!?

I’m really torn on this whole Team USA hoops thing. I mean-on one side, I love America. I’m much like Glenn Beck in that way. We’re a couple of patriots. Maybe it’s a name thing. But like Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, I love this country. Not like that Barack Obama fella-I heard he isn’t even FROM this country!

On the flip side of patriotism, I completely despise everything about Coach K. Is there anything LESS American than a Duke coach coaching our boys in Europe? We might as well scribble out a map for terrorists that says “your target is here.”

Oh and another thing. I was going to attend the World Championships this year, but couldn’t find Istanbul on a map. All of my and Craig Ferguson’s maps said “Constantinople”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4phHwSSing[/youtube]

5. High School Football: Joppatowne @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ South River (Friday 6:30pm)

YEEEESSSSS!!!!! MARINERS ARE GOING DOWN!!!!!!!!!!! ROLL GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, I’m sure there are plenty of other important games this weekend (the first full weekend of High School action here in the Old Line State) involving teams like Calvert Hall, Gilman, Boys Latin, Bel Air, Fallston, Parkville, Dulaney, etc. etc. etc.; but don’t bother me with those. I went to PHHS, and ol’ Drew Forrester went to Glen Burnie-so there are only two teams that I root for. Perry Hall…and whoever is playing the Gophers.

This week, there’s NO ONE I love more than South River! Go you….Seahawks, go!

That’s how I roll.

4. Tennis: U.S. Open (Tuesday-Friday 11am live on Tennis Channel 1pm live on ESPN2, Saturday-Monday 11am live on CBS 7pm live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from New York)

And with that in mind, don’t even bother asking me if I can do something for the next 14 days/nights. You already know the answer.

Need an excuse to watch? Well, Caroline Wozniacki IS the top seeded woman at Flushing Meadows…

wozniacki

3. Maryland State Fair (Tuesday-Monday Timonium Fairgrounds)

The new young lady in my life…we call her “Boomer Sooner”…tells me that at the Texas State Fair, they have introduced Deep Fried BEER this year. I’ll admit there was a bit of jealousy inside me, but I then reminded her that we have something even BETTER in Maryland…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Oy_cPF950s[/youtube]

I will be there early evening Friday. I’ll be wearing the black Under Armour hat. It’s a dollar a race. You KNOW you can’t afford to miss this.

2. Baltimore Ravens @ St. Louis Rams (Thursday 8pm from St. Louis live on WBAL11)

Speaking of “Boomer Sooner”, I immediately have more interest in a 4th preseason game than I EVER should. You see, as a graduate of the University of Oklahoma, ol’ Boomer Sooner has adopted the Rams as her second team-thanks to her undying affection for QB Sam Bradford. The whole thing just disgusts me.

But Sam Bradford won’t be the only Heisman Trophy winner on the field Friday night. That’s right, we’ve got one of our own here in Charm City….

troysmith

Attention Troy Smith: I’ve never asked you for anything before. You’ve always lived up to those expectations. Please don’t change now. The city needs you. And by the city, I mean “me.” And I really only need you for one night, but don’t get caught up in semantics. Hugs and kisses. -G

1. College Football: Maryland vs. Navy (Monday 4pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN); Virginia Tech vs. Boise State (Monday 8pm from FedEx Field live on ESPN)

Not only is Monday my birthday-but it is also Labor Day. And I can think of no way better to honor the working men and women of American than to have our Terrapins absolutely DESTROY the men who will go on to serve our country during times of unrest in the “Crab Bowl Classic” there at “The Bank.”

In all seriousness, there are only a few things I’m hoping for in Monday’s game. 1-Awesome Spirit videos from the Midshipmen like this one…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4breGPkzS0[/youtube]

2-An atmosphere and game so great that either a Terps player (or a Mids player) ends up finding himself in folklore the way that one Lance Ball has…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR6737o-cko[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 23 August 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Soccer-MLS: DC United @ Chivas USA (Sunday 10pm from Carson, California live on ESPN2); Auto Racing: IndyCar Series Peak Antifreeze and Motor Oil Indy 300 (Saturday 7pm from Joliet, Illinois live on VERSUS), NASCAR Nationwide Series Circuit Gilles Villeneuve (Sunday 2pm from Montreal live on ESPN2)

10. Rock The Bells feat. Snoop Dogg, A Tribe Called Quest, Wu-Tang Clan, Lauryn Hill (Sunday 12pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Jackson Browne (Tuesday 7:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), Trey Songz & Monica (Friday 8pm Pier Six Pavilion), Blondie & Cheap Trick (Sunday 7pm Pier Six Pavilion); Tears For Fears (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head Live), Nonpoint (Thursday 8pm Rams Head Live); Saving Abel (Tuesday 7pm Bourbon Street); Matisyahu (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), NAS & Damien Marley (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Tony Bennett (Friday 8pm Wolf Trap); Patrice O’Neal (Friday-Sunday DC Improv)

I like a lot of this! I’ve said before on Facebook that I’ve lost many hours of my life wondering where Lauryn Hill ran off to. Never again…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE6Qcc6VDo8[/youtube]

I once saw Cheap Trick open for Aerosmith. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why Steven Tyler and company even bothered coming to the stage…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th370QmFtk8[/youtube]

I may not love Tears For Fears but I sure as hell love this song…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bqgy1mebh8[/youtube]

Matisyahu played the last HFStival I was involved with when I was employed there. He carried his own equipment. And he kicked ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2zqAmP0DpM[/youtube]

9. Glenn Clark’s Fantasy Football Draft (Friday 8pm Mountain Branch)

And with the sixth pick in the “Full House Fantasy Draft”, Team Jesse and the Rippers Select…

christurner

No way we can lose now…

8. Baltimore Comic-Con (Saturday & Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

So if I go, do I wear THIS costume…

spiderman

or THIS one…

hogan

I feel like they’re both equally good options…but I’m probably only fat enough for the first one.

7. High School Football: Gilman @ Archbishop Spalding (Friday 7pm), St. John’s (DC) @ Calvert Hall (Saturday 1pm)

I love High School Football. I might not be quite as excited this week because my beloved Perry Hall Gators aren’t in action yet; but I still love the concept of high school football-and just the idea behind “Friday Night Lights” altogether. I posted Kenny Chesney’s “The Boys of Fall” as “The Greatest Song of All Time This Week” earlier this week, but not because of the song. Instead, I posted it entirely thanks to the EPIC speech from New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton at the beginning…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlXDo5WhQXI[/youtube]

6. Team USA Basketball: Team USA vs. Greece (Wednesday 12pm from Athens, Greece live on ESPN)

I’ll always be grateful to our Greek friends for giving us things like baklava and Maria Menounos…

mariam

…but this is basketball we’re talking about. Kevin Durant and the boys in the red, white and blue have a simple responsibility. KICK SOME GREEK ASS.

But again, thanks for Maria Menounos. And baklava.

5. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs-The Barclays (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 1pm live on Golf Channel 3pm live on CBS, Sunday 12pm live on Golf Channel 2pm live on CBS. All golf from Paramus, New Jersey); Champions Tour Boeing Classic (Friday & Saturday 6:30, Sunday 7pm from Snoqualmie, Washington live on Golf Channel); LPGA Tour CN Canadian Women’s Open (Thursday & Friday 11:59pm on Golf Channel, Saturday 3pm Sunday 2pm live on Golf Channel. All golf from Winnipeg, Canada)

Apparently it’s a big deal that Tiger Woods is playing this week in New Jersey. With no offense to a guy who has lost more than the Orioles and Pirates combined this season, but I’d be much more interested if it were J-Woww playing this weekend in anywhere…

jwoww

(Edit from GMC: Seriously…I love the Jersey Shore. I don’t care what you think about that.)

4. Tennis: ATP Tour U.S. Open Series Pilot Pen Tennis (Thursday 1pm Friday 12pm & 7pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 1pm live on CBS, 7pm live on ESPN2. All tennis from New Haven, Connecticut); U.S. Open Opening Round (Monday 11am live on Tennis Channel, 1pm live on ESPN2. All U.S. Open tennis from New York)

I know better than to be interested in American tennis players. We all stink right now. My love affair with Andy Roddick is completely pointless, as at some point he’s inevitably going to lose to a player whose future is more suited for the kitchen at PF Chang’s than it is the Wimbledon Champions Ball.

So I’ll go ahead and blame my own stupidity for getting excited when I watched Mardy Fish take the first set from Roger Federer in the final out in Cincinnati. I should have known better. Mardy Fish is Mardy Fish. Roger Federer is Roger Federer.

It’s similar to getting excited about Taka Michinoku when he gets some early offense in a matchup with Triple H. Oh you don’t remember the reference? I’ll remind you the WWF title was on the line…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I-iUL2IBn4[/youtube]

3. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 118-Frankie Edgar vs. BJ Penn (Saturday 10pm from Boston live on Pay-Per-View); Bellator Fighting Championships 26 (Thursday 8pm from Kansas City live on Fox Sports Net)

So this is supposed to be the ultimate showdown between boxing and MMA, right? A boxer who has held titles at four different weight classes in James Toney against a mixed martial artist whose career has landed him in the UFC Hall of Fame in Randy Couture.

Whether or not the fight settles ANYTHING, I really hope that Dana White considers replacing Joe Rogan with Jim Gray for the post-fight interview (Some NSFW language in here…unless of course you work with my grandmom. I hear she’s gotten feisty late in life…)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgecPysuGB4[/youtube]

2. Maryland State Fair (Friday-Monday Timonium Fairgrounds)

I can’t explain this enough. Not only will I get beer from the Shriners and collect free swag from crappy radio stations I will never listen to; but I will ABSOLUTELY dine like a king…

turkey

and I will absolutely hang with some of my closest friends…

horse

1. New York Giants @ Baltimore Ravens (Saturday 7:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on WBAL11)

Giants-Ravens, huh? Okay then….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeY-Nk-GKSY[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 14 June 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: MLL: Denver Outlaws @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium); Volleyball: AVP Virginia Beach Open (Sunday 2pm live on ESPN2, 4pm live on Universal Sports from Virginia Beach); Auto Racing: NASCAR Toyota/Save Mart 350 (Sunday 3pm from Sonoma, CA live on TNT), IndyCar Series Iowa Corn Indy 250 (Sunday 1:30pm from Newton, IA live on VERSUS); Boxing: Andre Ward vs. Allan Green (Saturday 10pm from Oakland, CA live on Showtime)

10. M3 Rock Festival feat. The Scorpions, Cinderella, Vince Neil, Kix (Saturday 11am Merriweather Post Pavilion); Earth, Wind & Fire (Friday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Brooks & Dunn (Saturday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); Maxwell and Jill Scott (Friday 7pm Verizon Center); Mr. Greengenes (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live), Pat Green (Saturday 8pm Power Plant Live); Los Lonely Boys (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Marc Broussard (Wednesday & Thursday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Bryan Adams (Tuesday 8pm Weinberg Center for the Arts-Frederick); John Butler Trio (Wednesday 7pm Wolf Trap); “Weird Al” Yankovic (Friday 8pm Warner Theatre); African American Heritage Festival feat. Robin Thicke & Mario (Friday-Sunday M&T Bank Stadium); CMT Crossroads feat. Keith Urban & John Mayer premieres (Friday 10pm CMT)

First of all, as I said recently on Facebook-I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older that this song ABSOLUTELY deserves greater recognition amongst the greatest songs of all time…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bF9X7qnWro[/youtube]

Say whatever you want about country music, but NEVER knock this tune…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZSiBj4vCiY[/youtube]

I don’t expect anyone to drive to Wolf Trap to see John Butler Trio that isn’t already; but I can tell you this much…they’re REALLY FREAKING GOOD…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79cG_F1GxfI[/youtube]

Although it’s unlikely I get out to The Bank for the AAHF this weekend, I will admit that I would like nothing more than to see Robin Thicke jam out to this former “Greatest Song of All Time This Week”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojAyFFfO2Po[/youtube]

And John Mayer and Keith Urban are so awesome that despite the fact that I want to hate them, I just can’t…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SabZCULoHQ0[/youtube]

9. “Toy Story 3″ opens in theaters (Friday), Family Guy Season 8 available on DVD and Blu-Ray (Tuesday), Man vs. Food season premiere (Wednesday 9pm Travel Channel)

Well…this wasn’t funny at all…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDURfLc9u0g[/youtube]

Oh, and don’t judge me for wanting to go see Toy Story next weekend. I don’t judge you for watching “Glee”.

(Edit from GMC: No wait…that’s me too. You know what? Screw you. You probably do something embarrassing too. You know, like eating something off the floor despite it moving PAST the 5 second rule? You see, I don’t do that! Unless it’s something really good. Like a turkey sandwich. It’s hard to make another one of those.)

Speaking of things I’d eat off the floor, if Adam Richman from Man vs. Food dropped any of his meat from Steak & Main up in Cecil County on the floor, I probably would have just let it go…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oTWHaGuJmmg[/youtube]

8. Indoor Football-AIFA: New Jersey Revolution @ Baltimore Mariners (Saturday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena); AFL: Jacksonville Sharks @ Orlando Predators (Friday 8pm from Orlando live on NFL Network)

You know what’s great about this? I hate New Jersey anyway! Mostly because this disaster is from The Garden State…

snooki

I really hope Snooki is a New York Jets fan. It would make me feel even that much better when the Ravens destroy them on Monday Night Football.

7. High School Football: Under Armour Combine (Friday-Sunday, M&T Bank Stadium)

I was never good enough at football…or anything…to attend something like this. I can’t even imagine it. My summer weekends at 16 years old were mostly spent trying to figure out how to solve Hole #4 at Churchville Putt & Cutt or how to get all of my friends into an R rated movie.

That and pretending not to like “I Want It That Way” by the Backstreet Boys. That song sucks. I mean, it’s kinda catchy. But…they suck.

6. Pro Wrestling: WWE Fatal 4 Way (Sunday 8pm from New York live on Pay-Per-View)

There are a couple of things I like about this.

1-Jack Swagger is currently the champion. He went to Oklahoma, so he stinks. This gives them the chance to get the strap around CM Punk’s waist, who is MUCH more deserving.

2-Something something something Michelle McCool…

mccool

5. MMA-UFC The Ultimate Fighter Finale (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on SpikeTV); WEC: Jamie Varner vs. Kamal Shalorus (Sunday 9pm from Edmonton live on VERSUS); Strikeforce Live (Wednesday 11pm from Los Angeles live on Showtime); Bellator Fighting Championships XXII (Thursday 8pm from Kansas City live on Fox Sports Net)

So it’s a big week in the world of Mixed Martial Arts. The cool thing here is that Kris McCray-who is from the DMV area and is a BIG fan of Shogun Fights is fighting for the TUF title Saturday night. He’s also a borderline MANIAC and broke a dude’s shoulder in his first UFC action…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNb92qWM-Xg[/youtube]

I’d try to fight him, but I’d be too busy PEEING MY PANTS.

4. Tennis: Wimbledon Opening Round (Monday 6:30am from Wimbledon, ENG live on ESPN2)

The good news? Andy Roddick usually does pretty well at Wimbledon. The bad news? Andy Roddick has never won Wimbledon.

The other news? Andy Roddick still has my heart….for now…

arod

3. Golf: U.S. Open (Thursday & Friday 1pm & 5pm live on ESPN, 3pm live on NBC; Saturday 4:30pm live on NBC, Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Pebble Beach, CA); Shoprite LPGA Classic (Friday 3pm, Saturday 4:30pm, Sunday 3pm from Galloway, NJ live on Golf Channel)

This is once again a case of “if Tiger Woods does well”, I’ll take a peak at this Sunday afternoon. Otherwise, Father’s Day will be totally golf-free for “The Luckiest Dang Dad on the Face of the Planet.”

Unless of course Dad wants to play 18 holes at Pebble Beach via Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11 on Wii. If that’s the case, I think I’ll play as the great John Daly…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q6HXfA__e14[/youtube]

2. NBA Finals: Lakers/Celtics (Game 6 Tuesday 9pm from Los Angeles live on ABC, Game 7 if necessary Thursday 9pm from Los Angeles live on ABC)

If LA comes back to win this thing, do I somehow get to see more of Khloe Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian?

kardashian
And more importantly, how is it that marrying Lamar Odom has made Khloe Kardashian attractive???

Oh, and screw Boston. Boston sucks. That is all.

1. Soccer-World Cup: New Zealand vs. Slovakia (Tuesday 7:30am from Rustenberg, South Africa live on ESPN), Ivory Coast vs. Portugal (Tuesday 10am from Port Elizabeth, South Africa live on ESPN), Brazil vs. North Korea (Tuesday 2:30pm from Johannesburg, South Africa live on ESPN), Honduras vs. Chile (Wednesday 7:30am from Nelspruit, South Africa live on ESPN), Spain vs. Switzerland (Wednesday 10am from Durban, South Africa live on ESPN), South Africa vs. Uruguay (Wednesday 2:30pm from Pretoria, South Africa live on ESPN), Argentina vs. South Korea (Thursday 7:30am from Johannesburg live on ESPN), Greece vs. Nigeria (Thursday 10am from Bloemfontein, South Africa live on ESPN), France vs. Mexico (Thursday 2:30pm from Polokwane, South Africa live on ESPN2), Germany vs. Serbia (Friday 7:30am from Port Elizabeth live on ESPN), Slovenia vs. United States (Friday 10am from Johannesburg live on ESPN), England vs. Algeria (Friday 2:30pm from Cape Town live on ESPN2), Netherlands vs. Japan (Saturday 7:30am from Durban live on ESPN), Ghana vs. Australia (Saturday 10am from Rustenberg live on ESPN), Cameroon vs. Denmark (Saturday 2:30pm from Pretoria live on ABC), Slovakia vs. Paraguay (Sunday 7:30am from Bloemfontein live on ESPN), Italy vs. New Zealand (Sunday 10am from Nelspruit live on ESPN), Brazil vs. Ivory Coast (Sunday 2:30pm from Johannesburg live on ABC), Portugal vs. North Korea (Monday 7:30am from Cape Town live on ESPN), Chile vs. Switzerland (Monday 10am from Port Elizabeth live on ESPN), Spain vs. Honduras (Monday 2:30pm from Johannesburg live on ESPN); El Salvador vs. DC United (Saturday 7:30pm RFK Stadium)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMxEycuSn0o[/youtube]

There is a legitimate part of me that considered buying a vuvuzela and playing it loudly behind Drew Forrester on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST. In fact, if you have one and want to bring it by the studio-I’ll take it.

I’ll be rooting for the country Jessica Simpson roots for…

jesssimpson

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 30 November 2009 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: NBA-Wizards @ Raptors (Tuesday 7pm from Toronto live on Comcast SportsNet), Bucks @ Wizards (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Raptors @ Wizards (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Wizards @ Pistons (Sunday 6pm from Detroit live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV); Boxing: Bernard Hopkins vs. Enrique Ornelas (Wednesday 8pm from Liacouras Center in Philadelphia live on VERSUS), Roy Jones Jr. vs. Danny Green (Wednesday from Sydney, AUS-will air on Hopkins/Ornelas undercard); Paul Williams vs. Sergio Martinez (Saturday 9:30pm from Atlantic City live on HBO); “Sports Jobs with Junior Seau” premieres (Wednesday 10pm VERSUS)

10-Rob Zombie (Saturday 7pm 9:30 Club), Switchfoot (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live), Tony Bennett (Saturday 8pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall), Grammy Nominations Concert (Wednesday 9pm from Los Angeles live on CBS)

If “BLACKsummers’night” by Maxwell is not nominated for Album of the Year, NARAS should just go ahead and cease operations…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PvKARVeMJ7I[/youtube]

(My gut on the other nominees? Green Day, Bruce Springsteen, U2, and Black Eyed Peas. Jay-Z’s was released too late; Lady Gaga and Kings of Leon were released too early to be nominated.)

9-Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (Tuesday 10pm from New York on CBS)

secret

(Editor’s note: If I need to write anything more about this entry; you and I probably wouldn’t be friends.)

8-Golf: Chevron World Challenge (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel; Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Thousand Oaks, California)

A week ago, there was NO CHANCE I would have included this on my list. NO CHANCE. There’s 16 players playing in this event, and none of them are named “Tiger” or “Mickelson.” However, the event is RUN by Tiger Woods; which suddenly makes it a bit interesting. Not the golf itself-but the things surrounding the golf. Like, “Will Tiger show up?”, “What will Tiger have to say?” and “Will they add a dented mailbox and claw marks to the face of the AWESOME trophy they give the winner?”

tiger

7-NHL: Panthers @ Capitals (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Flyers (Saturday 7pm from Philadelphia live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Lightning (Monday 7:30pm from Tampa Bay live on Comcast SportsNet)

I cannot BELIEVE I already committed to driving around Baltimore Saturday to watch college hoops with Drew Forrester. I would have NEVER made such a commitment had I known that my BELOVED Fly-as were hosting those rat-fink Caps on Saturday night at the Wachovia Center. Let’s go Fly-as! Here’s a little video at shot with some friends at the WNST studios Friday night…….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7O2aNHy3o0[/youtube]

6-UFC Ultimate Fighter Finale (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on SpikeTV)

So, Kimbo Slice is fighting again, huh?

I just hope we see THIS Kimbo Slice……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsMNkFVQK3c[/youtube]

And NOT the Kimbo Slice that somehow managed to lose to Ray Bachman……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glJCSrQEjho[/youtube]

5-Soccer: World Cup Draw (Friday 12pm from Cape Town, South Africa live on ESPN2); NCAA Tournament Elite 8: Maryland @ Virginia (Friday 7pm from Charlottesville)

As a broadcaster, there really is NOTHING worse than trying to do a broadcast of a “lottery”-type event. When I was on my spiritual journey to Phoenix two years ago, I was forced to do a live NBA Draft lottery show; as the Suns were the most popular team in town. Trying to take an hour to talk about where ping-pong balls might land was about as entertaining as listening to Jerry Coleman. (Love you Jerry.)

And as far as Virginia is concerned, after the pure misery of the last handful of times Maryland has faced Virginia in JUST ABOUT ANYTHING over the last few weeks, here’s some hard-hitting analysis:

“F*ck the Cavs.”

What?

4-College Football: Oregon State @ Oregon (Thursday 9pm from Eugene live on ESPN), Cincinnati @ Pitt (Saturday 12pm live on ABC), SEC Championship Game: Florida vs. Alabama (Saturday 4pm from Atlanta live on CBS), Big 12 Championship Game: Nebraska vs. Texas (Saturday 8pm from Arlington, TX live on ABC), ACC Championship Game: Georgia Tech vs. Clemson (Saturday 8pm from Tampa live on ESPN); BCS Selection Show (Sunday 8pm live on FOX), NCAA Division 3 Tournament Quarterfinals: Johns Hopkins @ Wesley (Sunday 12pm from Dover)

Boy, this Florida/Alabama matchup is pretty interesting. I mean, on the Gators side you have…..

florida

But on the Tide side you have…….

bama

Of course, the Florida side also has Tim Tebow’s girlfriend…….

tebow

(Edit from GMC: For the record, I have NO IDEA if that is Tim Tebow’s girlfriend, but it IS the picture that comes first when you Google image search “Tim Tebow’s girlfriend”, and a lot of people seem to think she IS Tim Tebow’s girlfriend. And if not, she should be. He’s better than the rest of us.)

3-High School Football State Finals: 1A Final-Catoctin vs. Joppatowne (Saturday 12pm) 2A Final-Eastern Tech vs. Queen Anne’s (Saturday 3:30pm), 4A Final-Wise vs. Old Mill (Friday 7:30pm), 3A Final-Huntingtown vs. Linganore (Saturday 7pm. All games at M&T Bank Stadium)

And for the final time this football season, if you’re headed out to one of the title games this weekend in Charm City, remember……

jailbait

2-College Basketball-Big Ten/ACC Challenge: Maryland @ Indiana (Tuesday 7:30pm from Bloomington live on ESPN2), BB&T Classic: Maryland vs. Villanova (Sunday 7:30pm from Verizon Center live on MASN), UMBC @ Towson (Wednesday 7pm Towson Center), Hofstra @ Towson (Saturday 4pm Towson Center), Morgan State @ Loyola (Tuesday 7:30pm from Reitz Arena live on MASN), Morgan State @ Coppin State (Saturday 4pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex)

Is there ANY chance that before their game against the Hoosiers Tuesday night, Gary Williams could deliver THIS speech to the Terps?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4Lhw4M-GTg[/youtube]

1-Ravens @ Packers (Monday 8:30pm from Green Bay live on ESPN)

Look, there’s no question who I’ll be rooting for Monday night, but I’ll have to admit that it’s hard to have much venom towards Aaron Rodgers and company; mostly because there is just NO WAY I can dislike the product their area is best known for…..

cheese

I mean-is there ANYTHING-IN THE WORLD-better than cheese??? We had broccoli and cheese as part of our family’s Thanksgiving celebration; and I actually tried to go swimming in the cheese that was left at the bottom of the serving bowl. I’m not kidding, either.

So while I hope the Pack lose this game 60-0, there will be a part of me that thinks “you know, maybe I should just move to Wisconsin already…..”

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..

-G

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