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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 04 July 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Arena Football-AFL Cleveland Gladiators @ Philadelphia Soul (Friday 8pm from Philly live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: Montreal Alouettes @ Saskatchewan Roughriders (Saturday 4pm from Saskatchewan live on NFL Network), Hamilton Tiger-Cats @ Edmonton Eskimos (Saturday 7pm from Edmonton live on NFL Network); WNBA: Washington Mystics @ Chicago Sky (Tuesday 8pm from Chicago live on ESPN3.com); Boxing: Brandon Rios vs. Urbano Antillon (Saturday 10pm from Carson, CA live on Showtime), Paul Williams vs. Erislandy Lara (Saturday 10:15pm from Atlantic City live on HBO), Friday Night Fights-Francisco Sierra vs. Jesus Gonzales (Friday 9pm from Phoenix live on ESPN2)

10. Bela Fleck & The Flecktones (Thursday 6pm Rams Head Live), Charm City Devils (Saturday 7:30pm Rams Head Live), Old 97′s (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Frankie Beverly & MAZE (Saturday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Animal Collective (Saturday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Def Leppard/Heart (Saturday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); Marshall Tucker Band (Sunday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); John Witherspoon (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Rockapella (Thursday 7:30pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); The Bridge (Sunday 6pm Ladew Gardens)

The Old 97′s are the best band you’ve never heard of. (I’ve always wanted to say that!)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1nn7lXP7WQ[/youtube]

I’ve been trying to get you to support John Allan and CCD boys for years. Please start soon.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUB08-RuwdM[/youtube]

My favorite Def Leppard tune? Quite possibly “Photograph”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ5bS3_BCDs[/youtube]

For the 15th time this year, PLEASE START LISTENING TO THE BRIDGE…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajY3mBuGVQk[/youtube]

9. “Horrible Bosses” opens in theaters (Friday); Boy Meets World Season 6 available on DVD (Tuesday)

I finally saw “Bridesmaids” over 4th of July weekend. How can Kristen Wiig not be funny at all on Saturday Night Live but then be genuinely funny in a really funny movie? Weird.

Critics are telling us Horrible Bosses is really funny, so I imagine I’ll see it. I am struggling with one of the plotlines being Charlie Day having problems with being sexually harassed by Jennifer Aniston however…

aniston

Nope. Not buying it.

And as far as BMW Season 6 goes, I remember the ridiculous range of emotions I experienced while watching the episode “Resurrection.” Tough to do this to a 13 year old kid, ABC.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIv8WCIfD4Y[/youtube]

8. Pro Lacrosse: MLL All-Star Game (Saturday 7pm from Boston live on ESPN2)

Lord…they’ve won the Super Bowl three times, the World Series twice, the NBA Championship, the Stanley Cup and four Frozen Fours since 2001 and now they’re taking the All-Star Game in OUR sport?

Jesus, this is too much. Seriously, can’t we just have anything in Charm City? I mean, are they going to take this from us next???

backriver

7. Cycling: Tour De France (Stage 3 Tuesday 8am Stage 4 Wednesday 7:30am Stages 5-8 Thursday-Sunday 8am all live on VERSUS)

I couldn’t tell you a damn THING about the Tour de France at this point, and I follow Lance Armstrong on Twitter.

Instead, I offer a picture of Buffalo Chicken Waffle French Fries for my food porn friends…

fries

Word.

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR Quaker State 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Sparta, KY live on TNT); IndyCar Series Honda Indy Toronto (Sunday 2pm from Toronto live on VERSUS)

Something called David Ragan won this week’s NASCAR race in Daytona. So…that happened.

Look-if it had been Brian Regan, I would have been interested…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89frRi8GgGA[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 20 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Pro Lacrosse-MLL Boston Cannons @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium); Arena Football: AFL Kansas City Command @ Utah Blaze (Friday 8pm from Salt Lake City live on NFL Network); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-John Molina vs. Robert Frankel (Friday 9pm from Temecula, CA live on ESPN2), Devon Alexander vs. Lucas Matthysse (Saturday 9:45 from St. Charles, MO live on HBO); WNBA: Indiana Fever @ Washington Mystics (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Tulsa Shock @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

10. Bad Teacher” and “Cars 2” out in theaters (Friday)

Both of these flicks appear to be watchable at worst. Bad Teacher looks particularly good, as it includes the great Jason Segel…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5ZtwbzUFZE[/youtube]

…Phyllis from “The Office”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCZIfPAWMis[/youtube]

…and of course the great Justin Timberlake…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi7gwX7rjOw[/youtube]

9. Roots Fest (Wednesday-Sunday “Highway to Nowhere”-Route 40, Franklin and N. Gilmor)

Perhaps the highlight of the event? The dialogue on the future of Baltimore…with the cast of “The Wire.”

Given the folks involved, is it safe to say that the future of Baltimore somehow involves drugs?

I’d pay ten dollars just to go and watch the guys re-enact their interrogations. Pardon the language…it’s art.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EeFa8QOq_Y[/youtube]

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Toyota/Save Mart 350 (Sunday 3pm from Sonoma, CA live on TNT); IndyCar Series Iowa Corn Indy 250 (Saturday 8pm from Newton, IA live on VERSUS)

Rex Snider said something on Twitter the other day about NASCAR TV ratings being up. I would have kept reading, but it involved NASCAR so I’m pretty sure no one cared.

Jeff Gordon recently won an event. With Cars 2 set to open soon, I will admit that I am much more concerned with how Jeff Gorvette is doing…

gorvette

7. Golf: PGA Tour Travelers Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Cromwell, Conn.); Champions Tour Dick’s Sporting Goods Open (Friday 6:30pm Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm from Endicott, NY live on Golf Channel); Wegmans LPGA Championship (Thursday & Friday 12:30pm Saturday & Sunday 4pm from Pittsford, NY live on Golf Channel)

With the U.S. Open in the books (and Rory McIlroy still making a birdie somewhere at Congressional), all of us not named Drew Forrester now go right back to doing exactly what we were doing before-not really giving a crap about golf.

You know how that would change? More Bubba Watson in overalls and “ooh-da-lolly lolly.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM2NocuEihw[/youtube]

Seriously…these guys need to make one of these videos every week, especially if Tiger Woods is going to totally stop banging whores.

I mean, what the hell else are we supposed to do? Talk about golf???

6. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC Live 4-Nate Marquardt vs. Rick Story (Sunday 9pm from Pittsburgh live on VERSUS); Strikeforce Challengers-Caros Fodor vs. James Terry (Friday 11pm from Kent, WA live on Showtime)

A couple of things. One-Is Kevin Connolly REALLY interested in making a movie about the life of one-time MMA star Kimbo Slice? REALLY? Is Mr. T available to play him???

And also-did you see this picture of Conor Heun that Bloody Elbow posted after the Strikeforce event Saturday night? Looks normal at first…but keep looking at his right arm. I’ll give you about 5 seconds before you exclaim “Ohhhhh…………”

heun

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 13 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Connecticut Sun @ Washington Mystics (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); Lacrosse: MLL Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Long Island Lizards (Thursday 7:30pm from Hempstead, NY live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Fernando Guerrero vs. Grady Brewer (Friday 9pm from Austin, TX live on ESPN2), Canelo Alvarez vs. Ryan Rhodes (Saturday 10:30pm from Guadalajara, Mexico live on HBO)

10. Sade & John Legend (Thursday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Katy Perry (Wednesday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Owl City & Mat Kearney (Saturday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Rascal Flatts (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); Patti LaBelle (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Elvis Costello & The Imposters (Wednesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Daryl Hall & John Oates (Monday 8pm Wolf Trap); Musiq Soulchild (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Michael Franti & Spearhead (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Pop Evil/Crossfade (Sunday 6pm Rams Head Live), Good Charlotte/Yellowcard (Monday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); The Bridge (Wednesday 8pm 8×10 Club); Pat McGee (Friday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head on Stage); Mark Curry (Thursday-Saturday Baltimore Comedy Factory); Aziz Ansari (Friday 7pm & 10pm Warner Theatre); “The Green Lantern” opens in theaters (Friday)

I was digging John Legend way before I ever heard his cover of Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep.” That being said, it DOES make me like him more…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SrQ4njrnnsI[/youtube]

When David Letterman had eight heart attacks, apparently Elvis Costello filled in for him one night and introduced himself as the musical guest. This is why YouTube exists, folks…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XYFJUP84lE[/youtube]

If you’re not listening to Michael Franti, this is on you at this point. Get on it.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dh-8mw9MKbQ[/youtube]

Seeing Pat McGee playing solo makes me wonder what Pat McGee Band is doing. That being said, he’s pretty good on his own too…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzTL2woRzrI[/youtube]

9. Harford County Restaurant Week continues (Tuesday & Wednesday throughout Hazzard County)

Ho.ly. Crap.

You mean to tell me there’s a Chiapparelli’s in Havre de Grace and NONE of you a-holes told me?

Look, it will never replace the O.G. in Little Italy (which is actually closer to me), but it’s a potential refreshing change of pace when I need a fix.

Yes, I have an addiction…to Chips salad.

chips

What are everyone’s plans Wednesday night? I’m in if you are…

8. Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena)

You might not know this, but I’m a HUGE fan of the Roller Girls.

It isn’t just because the first time I went to see them I was greeted with Chipotle and Pabst Blue Ribbon, although I will admit it helped.

It’s also about the players’ names. For example…

Minnie Piledriver
Reckless Ndangerment
Frenzy Lohan
Duchess of Torque
Flo Shizzle
Coach Ballbricker
Dolly Rocket
Joy Collision
Pistol Whip

I offer one solid dollar for someone to come up with my own CCRG name. Not just a dollar…a SOLID dollar. Keep that in mind.

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips 400 (Sunday 1pm from Cambridge Township, MI live on TNT); IndyCar Series Milwaukee 225 (Sunday 3:30pm from West Allis, WI live on ABC)

I know some people are into this, but I’ve made no mistake that NASCAR and Auto Racing in general just aren’t for me.

You know how it WOULD be for me? If Rick From Reisterstown could call the races!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlmJsosYi_Y[/youtube]

Rick took the collar this year when Ruler On Ice claimed the Belmont instead of Shackleford. Seriously though, if you took your betting advice from Rick-I’ve got nothing for you.

6. NHL Playoffs: Stanley Cup Finals-Boston Bruins vs. Vancouver Canucks (Game 7 if necessary Wednesday 8pm from Vancouver live on NBC)

You’re thinking to yourself “Glenn, why is a potential Game 7 in the Stanley Cup Finals only number 7 on your list instead of being number 1???”

The answer is-of course-because if there’s a God (and I believe there will be), the Canucks will parade around Beantown with the Cup Monday night and Vancouver will simply be recovering from a 48 hour hangover Wednesday night.

If they win (either Monday OR Wednesday), we all agree that as a show of thanks for vanquishing the evil from Boston, we dress up like this on Friday, right?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4ICMRAUEoE[/youtube]

5. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour Wimbledon (Opening Round Monday 7am from Wimbledon, ENG live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com)

The thing I like most about the fortnight is the chance to really watch the prettiest players in the sport go at it…

roddick

What did you think I was going to do? Post a picture of Caroline Wozniacki? This is the one grand slam event that Andy Roddick is actually (kinda) good at! Let me have SOMETHING!

By the way, I’m going to REALLY go out on a limb and say Rafael Nadal wins Wimbledon this year. Stunning, I know-but I hear he’s pretty good.

4. Soccer: Team USA vs. Guadeloupe (Tuesday 9pm from Kansas City live on Fox Soccer Channel); MLS-DC United @ Real Salt Lake (Saturday 9pm from Salt Lake City live on Comcast SportsNet)

What happened to Team USA against Panama Saturday night in Tampa Bay was nothing short of a debacle. Playing Van Halen tunes won’t make me feel a THING better about it, despite what some of your wisenheimers have tried doing on Facebook (search “Glenn Clark”) and Twitter (@WNST & @GlennClarkWNST).

There was SOMETHING good that came out of soccer this weekend though. If you haven’t seen the goal Eric Hassli scored for the Vancouver Whitecaps yet, thank me later.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8Vfdx7LEh4&feature=player_embedded#at=48[/youtube]

3. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Grand Prix Heavyweight Tournament-Allistair Overeem vs. Fabricio Werdum (Saturday 10pm from Dallas live on Showtime)

The disappointing part about Saturday’s event is that Gina Carano had to pull out of her fight.

Yes, that sentence WAS written in a way that would allow me to giggle about using the words “Gina Carano” and “pull out”.

I’d tell you more about the guys who ARE fighting, but wouldn’t we all just rather take another gander at the infamous weigh-in picture???

carano

Yep. Pants smaller.

2. Pro Wrestling: WWE Capitol Punishment (Sunday 8pm from Verizon Center live on Pay-Per-View); WWE Monday Night Raw (Monday 7:15from from 1st Mariner Arena live on USA Network)

Here’s the deal. Kelly Kelly will be in Baltimore Monday. If somehow she manages to leave town Tuesday, we’ve all failed.

kellykelly

1. Golf: PGA Tour/USGA U.S. Open (Thursday & Friday 10am & 5pm live on ESPN, 3pm live on NBC Saturday 2pm Sunday 1:30pm live on NBC. All golf from Congressional Country Club in Bethesda)

Harrison Frazar comes into the event red hot, having won the St. Jude Classic in Memphis. That inspires the question, “who the hell is Harrison Frazar?”

It inspires the additional, significantly more important question “did Harrison Frazar manage to get his family back after the win?”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9GwtRsOYSI[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 06 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Washington Mystics @ Atlanta Dream (Thursday 7pm from Atlanta live on ESPN2), Chicago Sky @ Washington Mystics (Saturday 7pm Verizon Center); Boxing: Lateef Kayode vs. Matt Godfrey (Friday 11pm from Santa Ynez, CA live on Showtime), Hector Sanchez vs. Vincent Arroyo (Saturday 10:35pm from New York live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights-Kenny Galarza vs. Irving Garcia (Friday 8:30pm from New York live on ESPN2); Arena Football: AFL Philadelphia Soul @ Spokane Shock (Friday 8pm from Spokane live on NFL Network)

10. Mumford & Sons (Thursday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Phish (Saturday & Sunday 4:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Decemberists (Monday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Ronnie Dunn (Friday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Glee Live (Thursday 7:30pm Verizon Center); Portugal. The Man (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Scissor Sisters (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Cowboy Mouth (Friday 8pm Rams Head Live), NOFX (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Sully Erna of Godsmack (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); George Clinton & Parliament-Funkadelic (Monday 7:30pm Recher Theatre); The Bridge (Wednesday 8pm 8×10 Club); Marcy Playground (Saturday 5pm Dark Horse Bel Air, Monday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); U.S. Air Guitar Championships-DC Regional (Saturday 7pm 9:30 Club); Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons (Wednesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Go-Go’s (Friday 8pm Wolf Trap), Bright Eyes (Saturday 7pm Wolf Trap), Indigo Girls (Sunday 8pm Wolf Trap); Chelsea Handler (Saturday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Duncan Sheik (Saturday 7:30pm Birchmere), Natasha Bedingfield (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Bobby McFerrin (Saturday 7:30pm Warner Theatre); “True Grit” available on DVD & Blu-Ray (Tuesday); “Super 8″ opens in theaters (Friday)

You can be certain that I’ll be at Mumford & Sons Thursday night. Intern Timmy Hendrix tried to fail my ticket purchases, but he came through in the end. If you’re not there, I just feel bad for you.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pd1GWaQf9Yk&feature=fvst[/youtube]

I wish I could say I was going to Phish as well. I’d go, but I have a bad feeling I might have to pass a drug test at some point in the future.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2izuYgnHukc[/youtube]

I will admit that I have no idea how Marcy Playground is still around 14 years after the ONLY song they ever had on the radio, but I kinda think it’s cool they’re playing in Harford County…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KT-r2vHeMM[/youtube]

And you know what, make fun of Glee all you want—but I am at least man enough to admit that I dig this.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbZcYy6AAGg[/youtube]

Okay, maybe I shouldn’t have admitted that.

9. Honfest (Saturday & Sunday Hampden); St. Nicholas Greek Folk Festival (Thursday-Sunday St. Nicholas Church); Ocean City Air Show (Friday-Sunday 16th Street Ocean City); Ocean City Restaurant Week (Tuesday-Monday throughout OC)

Can someone call Denise Whiting and make sure I’m allowed to call the event “Honfest”?

You see what I did there? That’s called REGIONAL current events humor. Take note, aspiring low-paid doughy morning sports jocks.

Can we all just agree to put aside the controversy and again enjoy Honfest this year? I mean, I’m hoping to do “The Creep” with John Waters myself…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLPZmPaHme0[/youtube]

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Pocono 500 (Sunday 1pm from Tunkhannock Township, PA live on FOX); IndyCar Series Firestone Twin 275s (Saturday 8pm from Fort Worth, TX live on VERSUS)

Lots of interesting stuff happening here. For example, have you ever heard the word “Tunkhannock” in your life before? And they’re holding two IRL races on the same night in the Lone Star State. That’s interesting, right?

No. Okay, well here’s a picture of Caity Lotz I saw the other day at Guyism. It’s not related to Auto Racing, but it’s definitely interesting-which is something Auto Racing has never provided…

caitylotz

7. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx St. Jude Classic (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Memphis); Champions Tour Greater Hickory Classic at Rock Barn (Friday 12:30pm Saturday & Sunday 1pm from Conover, NC live on Golf Channel); LPGA Tour State Farm Classic (Thursday-Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Springfield, IL on Golf Channel)

Speaking of excitement, here’s the weekend golf events.

So…ummm…anyone have some tumbleweeds we can watch blow around?

There’s good news from the golf world though, as David Feherty’s new Golf Channel show is about to debut…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-rN4-ES968&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

I’m so confused. Is it supposed to be a comedy?

6. Pro Wrestling: TNA Slammiversary (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

TNA is trying to sell the idea of “wrestling” because WWE banned the word from being used.

I have a better idea for TNA. Sell the idea of Mickie James. Repeatedly.

mickiejames

5. Soccer: Team USA vs. Canada (Tuesday 8pm from Detroit live on Fox Soccer Channel), Team USA vs. Panama (Saturday 8pm from Tampa Bay live on Fox Soccer Channel); MLS-San Jose Earthquakes @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet)

I know we got our asses kicked by Spain Saturday, but we can’t effing lose to Canada, can we? I mean, aren’t the Canadian soccer players going to be too distracted by the Stanley Cup Finals to even show up for the game at Ford Field?

I could post a lot of things here, but NOT posting the epic South Park song would be a mistake…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAYMJnO9LBQ[/youtube]

4. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 131-Junior Dos Santos vs. Shane Carwin (Saturday 9pm from Vancouver live on Pay-Per-View)

Boy, this event was SIGNIFICANTLY more exciting when it involved Brock Lesnar, wasn’t it?

No offense to Carwin or Dos Santos, who….are both fighters?

Seriously, everything is better when Brock Lesnar is involved. For example, Rikiski weighed 425 pounds. Remember what Lesnar did to him?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5sqFambBnAM[/youtube]

3. Horse Racing: Belmont Stakes (Saturday 5pm from Elmont, NY live on NBC)

I’m not going to lie. The Belmont is my favorite of Rick’s calls all year, if only because he actually knows the song he’s supposed to sing before the race…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMZ0XIioWWY[/youtube]

By the way, I’ll give you a dollar** if you can name the 2010 Belmont winner off the top of your head*.

(*You checked Wikipedia…you had no idea a horse named Drosselmeyer ever existed.)
(**You and I both know I don’t have a dollar to give you.)

2. NBA Playoffs: NBA Finals-Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks (Game 4 Tuesday 9pm from Dallas live on ABC, Game 5 Thursday 9pm from Dallas live on ABC, Game 6 if necessary Sunday 8pm from Miami live on ABC)

Despite LeBron James missing another big shot in the closing moments of a game, America was saddened to see the Heat take a 2-1 lead in the Finals Sunday night.

But take heart America, we still have a lot of great things happening for us. For example, we stole Nina Dobrev from Bulgaria! (Thanks, WWTDD!)

dobrev

1. NHL Playoffs: Stanley Cup Finals-Vancouver Canucks vs. Boston Bruins (Game 4 Wednesday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS, Game 5 if necessary Friday 8pm from Vancouver live on NBC, Game 6 if necessary Monday 8pm from Boston live on NBC)

I can’t believe how much of a big deal I made about Team USA against Canada in soccer earlier only to turn around and remind everyone that the Canucks are doing God’s work against those *ssholes from Beantown in the Stanley Cup Finals.

Words could never express how much I despise Boston. Thank God Steven Tyler hasn’t made good music in 20 years or else I might feel bad about how much I’m forced to dislike him by proxy.

Seriously, Boston sucks. Just ask Tina Fey…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gdwqXQr-UFM[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 23 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Byron Nelson Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Irving, TX), Champions Tour Senior PGA Championship (Thursday & Friday 12pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Louisville, KY); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Tony Thompson vs. Maurice Harris (Friday 9:30pm from Reno, NV live on ESPN2); Brew at the Zoo, and Wine too! (Saturday & Sunday 1pm Maryland Zoo); Arena Football: AFL Utah Blaze @ Iowa Barnstormers (Friday 8pm from Des Moines, IA live on NFL Network)

10. New Kids on the Block & Backstreet Boys (Sunday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Raphael Saadiq (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), The Maine/Augustana (Friday 6pm Rams Head Live); Steve Ranazzissi & Bryan Callen (Saturday 8pm & 10:30pm Recher Theatre); Slick Rick (Saturday 7pm Bourbon Street); Sister Hazel (Sunday 1pm Rams Head On Stage); Paul Simon (Friday 6pm 9:30 Club); America (Thursday & Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); J. Roddy Walston & The Business (Friday & Saturday 7:30pm Ottobar)

Boy…not a whole lot going on here this week, is there?

I don’t care for KNOTB or BSB, but that’s only because I have male genitalia. But you know who I DO like? Justin effing Timberlake.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRybEjxCfFM&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

There’s a young lady I know who thinks this song is as meaningful as I do…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f46ulX6uwGc[/youtube]

I know there’s no Art Garfunkel on this tour, but Paul Simon is still one of the greatest things there is about music…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJBhdKrwTOc[/youtube]

Like The Strokes? J Roddy Walston is better. Maybe MUCH better…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s3HS4zf5y4&feature=fvst[/youtube]

9. NHL Playoffs: Western Conference Finals-San Jose Sharks vs. Vancouver Canucks (Game 5 Tuesday 9pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS, Game 6 if necessary Thursday 9pm from San Jose live on VERSUS, Game 7 if necessary Saturday 8pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS); Eastern Conference Finals-Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (Game 6 Wednesday 8pm from Tampa Bay live on VERSUS, Game 7 Friday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS)

I’m assuming that at this point you HAVE to have seen the video of the Canucks fan flashing Ben Eager in the penalty box, right? No? Impossible…

beneager

If you click on THIS link, there’s a real picture. BUT!!!! Understand that this picture is NOT for children, it is NOT for the workplace, and it does NOT suck to be Ben Eager.

8. NBA Playoffs: Western Conference Finals-Dallas Mavericks vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Game 5 Wednesday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN, Game 6 if necessary Friday 9pm from Oklahoma City live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN); Eastern Conference Finals-Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls (Game 4 Tuesday 8:30pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 5 Thursday 8:30pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Saturday 8:30pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 7 if necessary Monday 8:30pm from Chicago live on TNT)

You mean to tell me there are things happening in basketball that DON’T involve ping pong balls? Color me stunned!

I honestly don’t know who I’m pulling for at this point. I never liked the Bulls growing up because I was kinda sick of seeing Michael Jordan winning every year. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to root for the Heat in this country unless you live on South Beach.

With the Eastern Conference teams out, I’m stuck trying to figure out which of the Western Conference teams to root for. I thought it might be the Thunder, but this whole Kevin Durant/Russell Westbrook “I’m better than you-NO, I’m better than you!” argument has been insufferable.

That being said, I attended a Mavs game this year. We were in Texas for the Super Bowl, and they were hosting the Washington Wizards.

Two things were accomplished that night. One-the ‘Zards lost, so Redskins fans were unhappy. I can ALWAYS get behind that. Two-they gave me a Rodrigue Beaubois bobblehead doll.

Not kidding. I have no idea if the thing ever made it back from DFA (there was a snowstorm disaster that week), but I got one-despite the fact that I had never (and still haven’t) heard of Rodrigue Beaubois.

And before I move on from hoops, umm….how did I miss this video of Blake Griffin dunking over A TIGER?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YyqsfecWAzM[/youtube]

7. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour French Open (Tuesday-Monday 5am live on Tennis Channel, Tuesday-Friday & Monday 12pm live on ESPN2, Saturday & Sunday 12pm live on NBC. All tennis from Paris)

A quick episode of “which would you rather?”

Would you rather spend a week in Paris with Caroline Wozniacki…

wozniacki

Or spend a week in Belgium with Paris Hilton???

parishilton

I’ll wait anxiously for your reply.

6. Baltimore Ravens Informal Practices (Tuesday-Thursday Unitas Stadium)

This event had no steam to begin with, but lost any potential steam it could have when they decided the public wouldn’t be able to attend due to commencement events at Towson that day.

That being said, I’m not really sure how there could have been any excitement in watching players (not wearing jerseys I assume) run around in 7-on-7 drills…but when the baseball team in town stinks I guess I can understand.

Of course, a practice session at Unitas Stadium might be the perfect place to show off a new toy…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ09qVDQf2k[/youtube]

5. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 130-Quinton “Rampage” Jackson vs. Matt Hamill (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on Pay-Per-View)

Rampage Jackson is a humorous MMA superstar. He’s REALLY good (I was actually in Vegas the night he destroyed Chuck Liddell) but he’s an absolute clown. Remember, he was the same guy that did THIS during an interview…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYmYA4ZPsIM[/youtube]

I feel like I pull for him…I’m just not really sure why.

4. “The Hangover Part II” out in theaters (Thursday)

Well, if this isn’t awesome I’m pretty sure I’ll just hate movies forever.

In the meantime, here’s Ed Helms’ song from the first one. There better damn well be another one in this one…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOdCWaTsIk[/youtube]

3. Soccer: UEFA Champions League Final-FC Barcelona vs. Manchester United (Saturday 2pm from London live on FOX); MLS-DC United @ Portland Timbers (Sunday 5pm from Portland live on Comcast SportsNet)

And here it is, the Super Bowl of European soccer. Every hipster this week will tell me why this is more important than anything else that ever happens in sports.

They’re wrong…but it IS a big deal.

I guess I’ll be pulling for Barcelona Saturday. I mean…they DO have Lionel freaking Messi…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZnUr8lcqjo[/youtube]

2. Auto Racing: IndyCar Series Indianapolis 500 (Sunday 11am from Indianapolis live on ABC); NASCAR Coca-Cola 600 (Sunday 6pm from Charlotte live on FOX)

Ahh…the Indy 500 is Sunday. So here…for absolutely no reason…are gratuitous pictures of Danica Patrick…

danicadanica

1. College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament Final Four-Denver University vs. Virginia (Saturday 4pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN2), Maryland vs. Duke (Saturday 6:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN2), NCAA Championship Game (Monday 3:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN); Division III NCAA Championship Game: Salisbury vs. Tufts (Sunday 7pm M&T Bank Stadium); Division II NCAA Championship Game: Adelphi vs. Mercyhurst (Sunday 4pm M&T Bank Stadium); Women’s College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament Final Four-Maryland vs. Duke (Friday 5pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com), Northwestern vs. North Carolina (Friday 7:30pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com), NCAA Championship Game (Sunday 4pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com)

Since it will be a few months before we can do this again during hoops season, so let’s channel Peter Rosenberg for both Terrapins’ lax teams…language of course NSFW. Go Terps!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYOgC2Qbqh4[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 23 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Byron Nelson Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Irving, TX), Champions Tour Senior PGA Championship (Thursday & Friday 12pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Louisville, KY); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Tony Thompson vs. Maurice Harris (Friday 9:30pm from Reno, NV live on ESPN2); Brew at the Zoo, and Wine too! (Saturday & Sunday 1pm Maryland Zoo); Arena Football: AFL Utah Blaze @ Iowa Barnstormers (Friday 8pm from Des Moines, IA live on NFL Network)

10. New Kids on the Block & Backstreet Boys (Sunday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Raphael Saadiq (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), The Maine/Augustana (Friday 6pm Rams Head Live); Steve Ranazzissi & Bryan Callen (Saturday 8pm & 10:30pm Recher Theatre); Slick Rick (Saturday 7pm Bourbon Street); Sister Hazel (Sunday 1pm Rams Head On Stage); Paul Simon (Friday 6pm 9:30 Club); America (Thursday & Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); J. Roddy Walston & The Business (Friday & Saturday 7:30pm Ottobar)

Boy…not a whole lot going on here this week, is there?

I don’t care for KNOTB or BSB, but that’s only because I have male genitalia. But you know who I DO like? Justin effing Timberlake.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRybEjxCfFM&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

There’s a young lady I know who thinks this song is as meaningful as I do…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f46ulX6uwGc[/youtube]

I know there’s no Art Garfunkel on this tour, but Paul Simon is still one of the greatest things there is about music…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJBhdKrwTOc[/youtube]

Like The Strokes? J Roddy Walston is better. Maybe MUCH better…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8s3HS4zf5y4&feature=fvst[/youtube]

9. NHL Playoffs: Western Conference Finals-San Jose Sharks vs. Vancouver Canucks (Game 5 Tuesday 9pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS, Game 6 if necessary Thursday 9pm from San Jose live on VERSUS, Game 7 if necessary Saturday 8pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS); Eastern Conference Finals-Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (Game 6 Wednesday 8pm from Tampa Bay live on VERSUS, Game 7 Friday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS)

I’m assuming that at this point you HAVE to have seen the video of the Canucks fan flashing Ben Eager in the penalty box, right? No? Impossible…

beneager

If you click on THIS link, there’s a real picture. BUT!!!! Understand that this picture is NOT for children, it is NOT for the workplace, and it does NOT suck to be Ben Eager.

8. NBA Playoffs: Western Conference Finals-Dallas Mavericks vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Game 5 Wednesday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN, Game 6 if necessary Friday 9pm from Oklahoma City live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN); Eastern Conference Finals-Miami Heat vs. Chicago Bulls (Game 4 Tuesday 8:30pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 5 Thursday 8:30pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Saturday 8:30pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 7 if necessary Monday 8:30pm from Chicago live on TNT)

You mean to tell me there are things happening in basketball that DON’T involve ping pong balls? Color me stunned!

I honestly don’t know who I’m pulling for at this point. I never liked the Bulls growing up because I was kinda sick of seeing Michael Jordan winning every year. I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to root for the Heat in this country unless you live on South Beach.

With the Eastern Conference teams out, I’m stuck trying to figure out which of the Western Conference teams to root for. I thought it might be the Thunder, but this whole Kevin Durant/Russell Westbrook “I’m better than you-NO, I’m better than you!” argument has been insufferable.

That being said, I attended a Mavs game this year. We were in Texas for the Super Bowl, and they were hosting the Washington Wizards.

Two things were accomplished that night. One-the ‘Zards lost, so Redskins fans were unhappy. I can ALWAYS get behind that. Two-they gave me a Rodrigue Beaubois bobblehead doll.

Not kidding. I have no idea if the thing ever made it back from DFA (there was a snowstorm disaster that week), but I got one-despite the fact that I had never (and still haven’t) heard of Rodrigue Beaubois.

And before I move on from hoops, umm….how did I miss this video of Blake Griffin dunking over A TIGER?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=YyqsfecWAzM[/youtube]

7. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour French Open (Tuesday-Monday 5am live on Tennis Channel, Tuesday-Friday & Monday 12pm live on ESPN2, Saturday & Sunday 12pm live on NBC. All tennis from Paris)

A quick episode of “which would you rather?”

Would you rather spend a week in Paris with Caroline Wozniacki…

wozniacki

Or spend a week in Belgium with Paris Hilton???

parishilton

I’ll wait anxiously for your reply.

6. Baltimore Ravens Informal Practices (Tuesday-Thursday Unitas Stadium)

This event had no steam to begin with, but lost any potential steam it could have when they decided the public wouldn’t be able to attend due to commencement events at Towson that day.

That being said, I’m not really sure how there could have been any excitement in watching players (not wearing jerseys I assume) run around in 7-on-7 drills…but when the baseball team in town stinks I guess I can understand.

Of course, a practice session at Unitas Stadium might be the perfect place to show off a new toy…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZ09qVDQf2k[/youtube]

5. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 130-Quinton “Rampage” Jackson vs. Mark Hamill (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on Pay-Per-View)

Rampage Jackson is a humorous MMA superstar. He’s REALLY good (I was actually in Vegas the night he destroyed Chuck Liddell) but he’s an absolute clown. Remember, he was the same guy that did THIS during an interview…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYmYA4ZPsIM[/youtube]

I feel like I pull for him…I’m just not really sure why.

4. “The Hangover Part II” out in theaters (Thursday)

Well, if this isn’t awesome I’m pretty sure I’ll just hate movies forever.

In the meantime, here’s Ed Helms’ song from the first one. There better damn well be another one in this one…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bpOdCWaTsIk[/youtube]

3. Soccer: UEFA Champions League Final-FC Barcelona vs. Manchester United (Saturday 2pm from London live on FOX); MLS-DC United @ Portland Timbers (Sunday 5pm from Portland live on Comcast SportsNet)

And here it is, the Super Bowl of European soccer. Every hipster this week will tell me why this is more important than anything else that ever happens in sports.

They’re wrong…but it IS a big deal.

I guess I’ll be pulling for Barcelona Saturday. I mean…they DO have Lionel freaking Messi…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZnUr8lcqjo[/youtube]

2. Auto Racing: IndyCar Series Indianapolis 500 (Sunday 11am from Indianapolis live on ABC); NASCAR Coca-Cola 600 (Sunday 6pm from Charlotte live on FOX)

Ahh…the Indy 500 is Sunday. So here…for absolutely no reason…are gratuitous pictures of Danica Patrick…

danicadanica

1. College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament Final Four-Denver University vs. Virginia (Saturday 4pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN2), Maryland vs. Duke (Saturday 6:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN2), NCAA Championship Game (Monday 3:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN); Division III NCAA Championship Game: Salisbury vs. Tufts (Sunday 7pm M&T Bank Stadium); Division II NCAA Championship Game: Adelphi vs. Mercyhurst (Sunday 4pm M&T Bank Stadium); Women’s College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament Final Four-Maryland vs. Duke (Friday 5pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com), Northwestern vs. North Carolina (Friday 7:30pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com), NCAA Championship Game (Sunday 4pm from Stony Brook, NY live on NCAA.com)

Since it will be a few months before we can do this again during hoops season, so let’s channel Peter Rosenberg for both Terrapins’ lax teams…language of course NSFW. Go Terps!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYOgC2Qbqh4[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Lack of Reverence For Preakness in Baltimore Appalling

Posted on 20 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

The Preakness Stakes will never mean to Baltimore what the Kentucky Derby means to Louisville.

I will start my thoughts by offering an acceptance of that fact.

I couldn’t honestly say I understood the difference between the two Triple Crown races until attending my first “Run For The Roses” in 2010. It’s a different world. It truly cannot be replicated in Charm City.

Perhaps veteran horse racing columnist Jerry Izenberg of the Newark Star-Ledger said it best in 2010…

“Here in Crab Cake City, there is one thing that all of them — infielder, grandstander and the jacket-and-tie set, that actually know the words to “Maryland, My Maryland” — have in common. They all know how to treat a horse race like, well, a horse race.

Greater Baltimore is too big and too honest, and its people work too hard and wear out too many blue collars for it to be otherwise. It understands exactly what this race is. It is a break in the calendar when the Orioles will not be the lead story. It is an event that the town respects but does not worship.”

It’s hard to argue his point.

In fact, year after year the romanticism and celebration of the “Run for the Black-Eyed Susans” appears to be lessened throughout the city.

It’s not just because patrons were barred from bringing their own alcohol into the infield, either.

The fact is that it is safe to question at this point whether or not Baltimore truly even “respects” the Preakness, more or less reveres the city’s most significant event.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrN1NyHEiis[/youtube]

According to the Baltimore Sun, the 2010 Preakness spending generated roughly $1.3 million in 2010 in state and local taxes. The event was as significant if not more to area businesses including hotels, restaurants, bars, taxi and limo services, entertainment venues and grocery/convenience stores.

What can’t be measured beyond that is the value brought to the area by the exposure that comes with Preakness. NBC and VERSUS will combine to dedicate nearly eight hours of coverage this weekend from Old Hilltop, while HRTV and ESPN have also reported and broadcast from the track this week as well.

The Maryland Jockey Club said over 1,000 media members were credentialed for this year’s event, generating coverage in newspapers and on websites throughout the country and the world.

There is simply no arguing the significance of Baltimore’s biggest annual event.

While an argument could be made that a Baltimore Ravens playoff game could provide nearly as much exposure for the city, it would be difficult to picture a NFL game reaching the vast demographic group that the Preakness is able to touch.

Baltimore’s most significant annual moment happens just off Northern Parkway on the third Saturday of May.

As Bob Ehrlich told Drew Forrester this week in an interview on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST, “For me, (the Preakness) was a wonderful day. It’s the best day of the year to be governor.”

Or as Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake told Rex Snider in an interview on “The Afternoon Drive” also on AM1570 WNST, “It really gives us a chance to showcase the city in a big way.”

It is hard to imagine a resident of our fair city not understanding how significant Preakness Saturday is annually.

Imagine my frustration when I was asked this question by a friend (and lifelong Baltimore resident) recently:

Everyone is getting together at Riverwatch for dinner Saturday because Tuesday is my birthday. You’ll be there, right?

After allowing the bewildered look to finally disappear from my face, I had my own question for my friend:

You’re aware they didn’t cancel the Preakness this year, right?

Even more troubling at the same time was my realization that the Baltimore Orioles were not only playing at home, but they were playing at 4:05pm.

Given that the average Major League Baseball game lasts two hours and fifty-one minutes (according to MLB.com in 2010) and the post time for the 136th running of the Preakness Stakes is 6:19pm-a conflict exists.

A source from the Maryland Jockey Club (who asked not to be identified) told me that the MJC reached out to the O’s after learning of the scheduling conflict, but the club deferred to Major League Baseball. Emails sent to the Orioles and MLB requesting further comment were not returned.

To be fair, the Orioles have to play on the third Saturday of May. But in the last 10 years, the Orioles have not played a game that directly conflicted with the Preakness despite playing seven times at home on Preakness Saturday.

It seems stunning that the Birds (and Major League Baseball) would allow a game to go off at the same time as the city’s signature event instead of altering the time of the game. The Boston Red Sox play an 11am game annually at Fenway Park as part of the city’s “Patriots Day” celebration. The Orioles could start at a similar time on Preakness Saturday to make way for Preakness, or could start later in the evening (around 8pm) to allow fans to attend both events.

In fact, they could even label the game as “the official post-Preakness party” and offer ticket discounts to attendees of the Preakness should they work in concert with the Jockey Club.

It would be the type of arrangement that could perhaps encourage out of town enthusiasts to “make a day of it” in Baltimore, seeing the sights of one of America’s classic sporting events and also viewing breathtaking Oriole Park at Camden Yards.

It’s a shame the city hasn’t worked with both parties to encourage such a partnership.

But the lack of reverence towards the Preakness in Baltimore is more appalling than even a baseball game.

Many Baltimoreans have simply told me in recent weeks that they feel no connection with the event despite understanding the overall significance of the event.

The reality is that some Baltimoreans are simply more interested in other events.

The problem with that attitude is that Baltimore doesn’t have anything else this significant. There is no PGA Tour stop. There is no LPGA, ATP, WTA Tour stop either.

The NBA & NHL Playoffs are irrelevant in Baltimore unless a fan chooses to root for a team from out of town. The NCAA Tournament might include a team from Baltimore, but the days of Tim Duncan and company playing March Madness games on the floor of what is now known as the 1st Mariner Arena have long passed.

The UFC has never staged a major Mixed Martial Arts event in Baltimore. There hasn’t been a significant prize fight in Baltimore in my lifetime. NASCAR has never come to town, and while the IndyCar series will hold the inaugural “Baltimore Grand Prix” in Baltimore this Labor Day weekend, the event has exactly enough significance that it was not picked up by the series’ network partner (ABC).

The Baltimore Ravens have never played more than nine meaningful home games in a season. The Baltimore Orioles haven’t played a significant home game after Opening Day since 1997.

In Baltimore, we have the Preakness and not much else.

But there’s no reason for that to be so depressing.

It would certainly bode well for the event if the sport of horse racing could make a “comeback” in Charm City. Pimlico has been outdated about as long as the Arena has, and it doesn’t serve well to generate excitement. The fact that racing only happens at the track for about a month out of the year hurts too.

No one has to be a horse racing fan to support Preakness, however.

The majority of the 100,000 or so fans that pack the track Saturday will likely not know the names of more than a few horses running in the actual race and even fewer could quickly answer “Lookin At Lucky” if asked who won last year’s event.

That being said, the folks who attend the event are at least expecting a good time-whether they’re watching Train on the infield or screaming at ponies from the grandstand.

There’s nothing wrong with being a Baltimorean and not attending the Preakness. The dirty secret in Louisville is that more locals actually attend Kentucky Oaks day on Friday than the actual Derby. (Which is aided by the closure of schools, government and many offices in general). The simple idea is that the city should somehow partake in the event in general-or at least feel more positive than negative energy in association with the event.

At the very least, everyone in Baltimore should ABSOLUTELY know that the third Saturday of May is Preakness Saturday.

It’s a shame that isn’t currently true.

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 13 May 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Golf-PGA Tour Crowne Plaza Invitational at Colonial (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Fort Worth, TX), LPGA Tour Sybase Match Play Championship (Thursday & Friday 6:30pm, Saturday & Sunday 4:30pm from Gladstone, NJ live on Golf Channel); Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena); Soccer: Team USA Women vs. Japan (Wednesday 7pm from Cary, NC live on ESPN2), AFC Ajax @ DC United (Sunday 5pm RFK Stadium); Boxing: Bernard Hopkins vs. Jean Pascal (Saturday 10pm from Montreal live on HBO), Friday Night Fights-Joel Julio vs. Antwone Smith (Friday 9pm from Newark, NJ live on ESPN2); Mixed Martial Arts: Bellator Fighting Championships 45 (Saturday 9pm from Lake Charles, LA live on MTV2); Arena Football: AFL Arizona Rattlers @ New Orleans VooDoo (Friday 8pm from New Orleans live on NFL Network)

10. Sugarland/Little Big Town/Matt Nathanson (Sunday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Jason Aldean (Saturday 4:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); Apocalyptica/Finger Eleven/Charm City Devils (Thursday 6pm Power Plant Live); Blue October (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (Wednesday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); The Wailers (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); En Vogue (Sunday 8pm Bourbon Street); Pauly Shore (Saturday 7pm Rams Head on Stage); Arctic Monkeys (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), B.O.B. (Thursday 6pm 9:30 Club), The Cars (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); (hed)p.e. (Thursday 6:15pm Jaxx); Blind Boys of Alabama (Thursday 7:30pm Birchmere); DC101 Chili Cook-Off feat. Weezer, Papa Roach, Seether, Neon Trees, Panic! at the Disco (Saturday 12pm RFK Stadium); Preakness Infieldfest feat. Train, Bruno Mars, Puddle of Mudd, Phil Vassar (Saturday 11am Pimlico); Chesapeake Bay Blues Festival feat. Chris Isaak, Little Feat, Kenny Wayne Shepherd (Saturday-Sunday Sandy Point State Park); Ben Harper “Give Till It’s Gone” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Make fun of me if you will, but I dig Sugarland. Even more than that, I REALLY dig Little Big Town…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=skAOb_EUE_M[/youtube]

I wish I could tell you I was excited about the Preakness infield. Unfortunately I cannot. But there will be 2-3 Train songs you’ll probably find me singing along to…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wlEcgwjvcw[/youtube]

I’d so be at Sandy Point if it wasn’t Preakness weekend. Especially for Little Feat…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SkZsSydzQjM[/youtube]

I feel like I’ve seen Finger Eleven at Power Plant before. (I say that because I KNOW I’ve seen Finger Eleven at Power Plant before.) Say what you want, this song still kicks a little ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJk6gZuPKRE[/youtube]

9. “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tide” in theaters (Friday)

I don’t go to the movies much, but I was recently offered tickets to an advance screening of Pirates. I decided to take them.

I’m into the movies, but not “freakout” into them. I mean, not like Michael Bolton…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GI6CfKcMhjY[/youtube]

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Showdown (Saturday 7pm from Charlotte live on SPEED), NASCAR All-Star Race (Saturday 8pm from Charlotte live on SPEED); IndyCar Series: Indianapolis 500 Pole Day Qualifying (Saturday 11am & 4:30pm from Indianapolis live on VERSUS), Indianapolis 500 Bump Day Qualifying (Sunday 12pm from Indianapolis live on VERSUS)

I don’t understand why NASCAR fans don’t like Kyle Busch. He’s (apparently) married to something named Samantha Sarcinella. Samantha Sarcinella (apparently) looks like this…

sarcinella

So…ummm….I’m a fan.

7. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour French Open (Sunday 5am live on Tennis Channel 1pm live on ESPN2, Monday 5am live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from Paris)

Because I’m a tennis snob, I will be referring to the event as Roland Garros. You loser Americans can call it the “French Open.”

We don’t usually like much about France in this country, but I feel like the trip to the clay is something we should be able to enjoy.

Of course, my favorite thing about France is Def Jam poet Jean K. Jean…

[dailymotion]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8w2n2_saturday-night-live-update-jean-k-j_fun[/dailymotion]

6. NBA Playoffs: Eastern Conference Finals-Chicago Bulls vs. Miami Heat (Game 2 Wednesday 8:30pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 3 Sunday 8:30pm from Miami live on TNT); Western Conference Finals-Dallas Mavericks vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Game 1 Tuesday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN, Game 2 Thursday 9pm from Dallas live on ESPN, Game 3 Saturday 9pm from Oklahoma City live on ESPN, Game 4 Monday 9pm from Oklahoma City live on ESPN)

I can’t root for the Chicago Bulls. They have both Carlos Boozer and Luol Deng on their roster. Rooting for a roster littered with Duke players is like* rooting for the Taliban.

(*It’s not like that at all. You and I both know that. But come on, let me have SOMETHING.)

That being said, Taj Gibson is worth rooting for…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOOeMg7eqYM[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmN-MIbvLks&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

Wow.

5. Pro Wrestling: WWE Over the Limit (Sunday 8pm from Seattle live on Pay-Per-View)

I probably won’t be getting Over The Limit Sunday night. Mostly because I don’t REALLY need to see Jerry “The King” Lawler face Michael effing Cole again.

But if the Bella Twins were more involved, I feel like I’d be more compelled to take a gander…

bellas

4. NHL Playoffs: Eastern Conference Finals-Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (Game 2 Tuesday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS, Game 3 Thursday 8pm from Tampa Bay live on VERSUS, Game 4 Saturday 1:30pm from Tampa Bay live on NBC, Game 5 if necessary Monday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS); Western Conference Finals-San Jose Sharks vs. Vancouver Canucks (Game 2 Wednesday 9pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS, Game 3 Friday 9pm from San Jose live on VERSUS, Game 4 Sunday 3pm from San Jose live on NBC)

You think the suits in New York (Toronto?) are just salivating over the possibility of a Tampa-San Jose Stanley Cup Finals showdown?

I know I’m….looking for other things to watch.

I guess I’m pulling for Tampa? I mean, they beat the Washington Capitals, so they’ve already done the Lord’s work.

Plus…you know…Hulk Hogan is a fan.

hulk

3. Ray’s Summer Days (Thursday-Saturday throughout Baltimore-locations include Ruth Chris Havana Club, Patterson Park, Perry Hall Lanes, etc.)

I have to admit I’m both surprised and hurt.

I mean, how could Ray Lewis schedule an event without carefully planning it around the schedule of his dear friend Glenn Clark?…

rayglenn

Honest mistake I’m sure.

2. College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Johns Hopkins vs. Denver (Saturday 2:30pm from Hempstead, NY live on ESPN2) Maryland vs. Syracuse (Sunday 12pm from Foxborough, MA live on ESPNU); Division 3 NCAA Tournament-Roanoke @ Stevenson (Wednesday 4pm Caves Athletic Complex-semifinal Sunday at Salisbury or vs. Dickinson at CAC if Mustangs win); Women’s College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Princeton @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm Field Hockey & Lacrosse Complex College Park), Loyola @ North Carolina (Saturday 1pm from Chapel Hill, NC streaming live on NCAA.com); High School Lacrosse: MIAA Lacrosse Championships-A Conference Semifinals (Tuesday 6pm & 8:30pm Unitas Stadium), A, B & C Conference Finals (Friday 3pm, 5:30pm & 8pm Unitas Stadium)

Whatever happens this weekend in the NCAA Tournament, there is NO WAY it will be anywhere NEAR as cool as what the Terrapins did in their opening round win over the Tar Heels…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ds5qLbqkQs[/youtube]

I can’t get over it. Holy crap that’s awesome.

1. Horse Racing: Preakness Stakes (Saturday 4:30pm from Pimlico live on NBC), Black-Eyed Susan Day (Friday 4pm from Pimlico live on VERSUS); Preakness Week events throughout Baltimore (Tuesday-Sunday)

Two things we know (sadly) won’t be happening Saturday.

One-The previously legendary “Running of the Urinals”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIcyFSYhvV4[/youtube]

Two-Rick From Reisterstown getting ANYTHING right…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAenPfeIRGo[/youtube]

We’re improving things around here!

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 11 April 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Arena Football-AFL Tampa Bay Storm @ Philadelphia Soul (Friday 8pm from Philly live on NFL Network); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Ivan Popoca vs. Ruslan Provodnikov (Friday 9pm from Temecula, CA live on ESPN2), Andre Berto vs. Victor Ortiz/Amir Khan vs. Paul McCloskey (Saturday 9:45pm from Mashantucket, CT & Manchester, ENG live on HBO), Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Orlando Salido (Saturday 10:30pm from Bayamon, Puerto Rico); Mixed Martial Arts: Bellator Fighting Championships 41 (Saturday 9pm from Yuma, AZ live on MTV2); Soccer: MLS-DC United @ Toronto FC (Saturday 7pm from Toronto live on Fox Soccer Channel)

10. Trans-Siberian Orchestra (Friday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Sick Puppies/Framing Hanley/Adelita’s Way (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Three Days Grace/My Darkest Days (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live/Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Dirty Heads (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Seether/Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Several Species: The Pink Floyd Experience (Saturday 8pm Rams Head Live); All Mighty Senators (Friday 8pm 8×10 Club); Johns Hopkins University Spring Fair feat. Chiddy Bang (Friday-Sunday JHU); Cake (Thursday-Saturday 7pm 9:30 Club); Aimee Mann (Tuesday & Wednesday 7:30pm Birchmere); KT Tunstall (Wednesday 8pm Sixth & I Historic Synagogue), Chris Cornell (Sunday 8pm Sixth & I Historic Synagogue); Patrice O’Neal (Friday-Sunday DC Improv); Foo Fighters “Wasting Light” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

You’re thinking to yourself…”TSO? Christmas is 8 and a half months away!” Well…try this one on for size…

[youtube]http://youtu.be/Rkzs1h1vu0E[/youtube]

Framing Hanley made a major mistake. Art Alexakis from Everclear once told me bands should “NEVER release a cover as their first single.” That being said, Framing Hanley’s take on Lil’ Wayne is pretty good…

[youtube]http://youtu.be/vbUR0SRceD0[/youtube]

If you weren’t a Soundgarden/Temple of the Dog/Audioslave fan; you may not realize how amazing a Chris Cornell solo show has the possibility of being…

[youtube]http://youtu.be/5Pt03oU6RHI[/youtube]

The Foo Fighters are amazing. Every time they put something new out you say to yourself “Wow…that might be the best thing they’ve done.” Yet they’re no one’s favorite band. It’s wild…

[youtube]http://youtu.be/kbpqZT_56Ns[/youtube]

9. Roller Derby: Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena)

kiss

Now you’re thinking to yourself “Okay Glenn, how did you go from an entry about the CCRG to a picture of Drew Barrymore and Ellen Page kissing???”

This is too easy.

Drew and Ellen kissed as part of the promotional tour for the film “Whip It”, which was…of course…about Roller Derby. Here’s another promo photo…

drewellen

That would be another point for me. I’m running away with this one.

8. Horse Racing: Arkansas Derby (Saturday 5pm from Hot Springs, AK live on HRTV), Decanter Wine Festival (Saturday 11am Pimlico)

I’m realizing more and more that my second annual pilgrimage to Louisville for the Kentucky Derby is…like…RIGHT around the corner.  It means I have to consider my wardrobe again.

Last year I went with THIS on Kentucky Oaks day…

oaks

I’m the one on the left. I swear.

And then I wore THIS on Derby day…

derby

Look, I tend to dress like a bit of a homeless slob for most of the year…so…I like the idea of looking good just for these days. With that in mind, any suggestions?

7. Tennis: Monte Carlo Rolex Masters (Tuesday-Friday 4:30am, Saturday 7am Sunday 8am from Roquebrune-Cap-Martin, France live on Tennis Channel)

Oh good. Clay courts. The place where the American men who aren’t good enough to win the rest of the year somehow actually get worse.

I don’t understand it either.

But since the event is on the clay, shouldn’t we just go ahead and give the title to this man?

kuerten

(Edit from GMC: If you knew that was Gustavo Kuerten, we should probably consider a life together.)

6. Golf: PGA Tour Valero Texas Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from San Antonio), Champions Tour Outback Steakhouse Pro-Am (Friday 12:30pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 4pm Sunday 1pm live on NBC)

Outback Steakhouse Pro-Am? TOTAL excuse for me to post a picture of a Bloomin’ Onion!!!

onion

Words really aren’t necessary after that, right?

5. Auto Racing: NASCAR Aaron’s 499 (Sunday 1pm from Talladega, AL live on FOX); IndyCar Series Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach (Sunday 3:30pm from Long Beach, CA live on VERSUS)

Did someone say Talladega??? Ricky Bobby was on TNT the other night…

[youtube]http://youtu.be/BWKisUSxjXk[/youtube]

Thank God for this movie. Could you imagine if I actually had to know who had won each NASCAR race during the course of the year?

I know they were in Texas last week-who won that one? Davey Allison? Was that the name of a real driver?

4. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Lockdown” (Sunday 8pm from Cincinnati live on Pay-Per-View)

Every match inside a steel cage? YES PLEASE!

In fact I’d be PARTICULARLY interested if Angelina Love was in one of those matches…

alove

3. NBA: Washington Wizards @ Cleveland Cavaliers (Wednesday 8pm from Cleveland live on Comcast SportsNet); NBA Playoffs (Saturday-Monday live on ABC, ESPN and TNT)

And sadly, the season ends for the Washington Wizards. Of course, we’ll always have the memories…

Like…

Yep. It was a hell of a season.

2. NHL Playoffs: New York Rangers @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7:30pm from Verizon Center live on VERSUS), New York Rangers @ Washington Capitals (Friday 7:30pm from Verizon Center live on VERSUS), Washington Capitals @ New York Rangers (Sunday 3pm from New York live on NBC)

Look, I appreciate the fact that the Caps are going to play a game at the Civic Center next year. Not because I like the Caps, but because I appreciate anything that brings money to the city. If I want folks to praise Shogun Fights, I have to be willing to praise the DC hockey team.

That being said, it’s going to be really awkward pulling for the Rangers over the next few weeks considering how much I dislike the Yankees.

But seriously, how can you root against these guys?

[youtube]http://youtu.be/o1OA5niEPm0[/youtube]

1. College Lacrosse: Johns Hopkins @ Maryland (Saturday 8pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU); Loyola @ Georgetown (Saturday 7pm from Kehoe Field live on AM1570 WNST); Towson @ Penn State (Saturday 7pm from University Park, PA live on ABC2 & ESPN3.com); Army @ Navy (Saturday 2pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on CBS Sports); Stevenson @ Salisbury (Saturday 12pm Sea Gull Stadium)

I (secretly) pull for the Blue Jays almost every week of the year.

Not this one.

turtle

It’s the 107th matchup between the Terps and the Jays. I’m hoping for 107-0 in honor of that.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 04 April 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Horse Racing: Illinois Derby (Saturday 5pm from Stickney/Cicero, IL live on TVG), Santa Anita Derby (Saturday 5pm from Arcadia, CA live on HRTV); Soccer: U.S. Open Cup-Philadelphia Union @ DC United (Wednesday 7:30pm RFK Stadium), MLS-Los Angeles Galaxy @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm RFK Stadium); Boxing: Erik Morales vs. Marcos Maidana (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on HBO PPV), Friday Night Fights-David Lemieux vs. Marco Antonio Rubio (Friday 9pm from Montreal live on ESPN2); Tennis: ATP Tour U.S. Men’s Clay Court Championship (Saturday 2pm Sunday 3pm from Houston live on Tennis Channel); Arena Football: AFL Dallas Vigilantes vs. Georgia Force (Friday 8pm from Duluth, GA live on NFL Network)

10. Marsha Ambrosius & Melanie Fiona (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live); Bill Burr (Friday 7 & 9:30pm Recher Theatre), Aimee Mann (Sunday 7pm Recher Theatre); Colin Hay (Sunday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); House of Pain (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Toad The Wet Sprocket (Saturday 7pm 9:30 Club), Old 97′s (Sunday 7pm 9:30 Club); Dirty Heads (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Widespread Panic (Tuesday & Wednesday 8pm Warner Theatre); Ralphie May (Saturday 8pm Lisner Auditorium); Buddy Guy (Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere); Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons (Saturday 8:30pm Hippodrome)

House of Pain is still awesome, even if only one song REALLY matters…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9Q0jPyrja0[/youtube]

If you don’t love this Toad The Wet Sprocket song, we’ll NEVER be friends…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZpUUrEWnWQ[/youtube]

I got the chance to hang out with Rhett Miller from the Old 97′s on Radio Row in Dallas at the Super Bowl this year, and I COMPLETELY nerded out.

rhettmiller

If you’re not familiar, please to be checking them out…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDDyD0Hj5n0[/youtube]

I listened to a lot of WQSR growing up thanks to my father. I’m grateful. It taught me the significance of artists like Frankie Valli…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bE40KM4SGAY[/youtube]

9. Cirque du Soleil “Totem” opens (Thursday 8pm Grand Chapiteau at the Westport Waterfront); Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus present Barnum 200 (Thursday 10:30am & 7:30pm, Friday 7:30pm, Saturday 11:30am 3:30pm & 7:30pm, Sunday 1pm & 5pm 1st Mariner Arena)

I used to be a big fan of the circus, but…you know…I’m not 8 anymore. Everyone keeps telling me about how great Cirque is, but I feel like I couldn’t enjoy it without the Paul Rudd treatment from “Knocked Up”.

Instead, the only circus-related activity I enjoy watching involves YouTube and a certain former WWF star…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eC4qriqlfDM[/youtube]

It’s almost unbelievable to remember Doink The Clown having faced Triple H…like…ever.

8. Pro Wrestling: Maryland Championship Wrestling “Bodyslam Autism” (Friday 7:30pm The New Green Room Dundalk)

Neat! Another chance for me to nerd out about rasslin’!

So…who watched WrestleMania? Who thought it was a bit over the top how much they had The Undertaker sell his injuries after forcing HHH to tap?

Who has an opinion on the subject and has ALSO recently had sex with a girl?

Nope…didn’t think so.

Eh, who cares. Let’s keep nerding out.

Was the Snooki thing cool? I hated (but understood) everything about why WWE did it-and I know they thought this move should put her over…but honestly, was this cool???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed0LaWLy5N8[/youtube]

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Samsung Mobile 500 (Saturday 7:30pm from Fort Worth, TX live on FOX); IndyCar Series Honda Indy Grand Prix of Alabama (Sunday 3pm from Birmingham, AL live on VERSUS)

I used to date a gal who was from the DFW area. Apparently the NASCAR race is a big deal down there.

You know what’s a BIGGER deal down there?

texas

Yep.

6. NBA: Detroit Pistons @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Indiana Pacers (Wednesday 7pm from Indianapolis live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Boston Celtics (Friday 7:30pm from Boston live on Comcast SportsNet), Atlanta Hawks @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Boston Celtics @ Washington Wizards (Monday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

Just in time for the season to be over, the ‘Zards have actually won a couple of games recently! Neat trick!

Elsewhere in the country, there are actual significant pro basketball games being played. Like in Chicago, where Derrick Rose…is…amazing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QmcFh-hOg8[/youtube]

5. Women’s College Basketball: NCAA Championship Game-Notre Dame vs. Texas A&M (Tuesday 8:30pm from Indianapolis live on ESPN)

And if the Aggies end up winning, we’ll turn to Shirley Q Liquor to celebrate…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbDX22SGZV0[/youtube]

(Yes, that is usually playing on “Elliott in the Morning” around the same time I’m arriving at 1550 Hart Rd. each morning. And it’s still funny every time.)

4. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce-Nick Diaz vs. Paul Daley (Saturday 10pm from San Diego live on Showtime); Bellator Fighting Championships 40 (Saturday 9pm from Newkirk, OK live on MTV2)

I poked my head at Bellator fighting on MTV2 the other night. It wasn’t that bad. I mean, it isn’t a marquee promotion for a reason-but it’s at LEAST watchable.

Of course, it’s not exactly the best thing I’ve ever seen on MTV2. That of course involved one Chris Pontius…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xj8QzRaW68[/youtube]

Does enjoying Wildboyz make me kind of an idiot? I mean, I can accept that.

3. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Toronto Maple Leafs (Tuesday 7pm from Toronto live on Comcast SportsNet), Florida Panthers @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Washington Capitals @ Florida Panthers (Saturday 7pm from Sunrise, FL live on Comcast SportsNet); College Hockey: NCAA Frozen Four-Minnesota Duluth vs. Notre Dame (Thursday 5pm from St. Paul, MN live on ESPN2 & ESPN3.com), Michigan vs. North Dakota (Thursday 8:30pm from St. Paul, MN live on ESPN2 & ESPN3.com), National Championship Game (Saturday 7pm from St. Paul, MN live on ESPN & ESPN3.com)

And if after the game the Leafs and Caps decided to merge into one team, their logo would look something like the one on the right below (Thanks Puck Daddy!)…

leafs
And you know what? I don’t care for anything from Washington-but that’s actually kind of an awesome logo. I might be all in.

2. College Lacrosse: Fairfield @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST); Albany @ Johns Hopkins (Friday 7:30pm from Homewood Field live on ESPNU); Towson @ UMBC (Wednesday 7:30pm UMBC Stadium), Binghamton @ UMBC (Saturday 12pm from UMBC Stadium live on ABC2/ESPN3.com); UMass @ Towson (Saturday 1pm Unitas Stadium); Maryland @ Navy (Friday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on CBS Sports); Stevenson @ Frostburg State (Wednesday 4pm Bobcat Stadium), Stevenson @ St. Mary’s (Saturday 1pm Seahawk Stadium)

It’s the big Baltimore County battle Wednesday night in Catonsville.  Representing the East Side…

towson

And from our friends on the West Side, an actual photo from the women’s bathroom inside the Chemistry building at UMBC…

umbc

So…you know…advantage Tigers and all.

1. Golf: PGA Tour-The Masters (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on ESPN, Saturday 3:30pm Sunday 2pm live on CBS. All Golf from Augusta, GA)

With no offense to the nerds (like Drew Forrester) who will watch this pantsless this weekend, there’s only one REAL reason to watch this event (unless somehow Tiger Woods starts playing golf again)….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRv6JwWk4As[/youtube]

Hello friends.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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