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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 22 August 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Los Angeles Sparks @ Washington Mystics (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Phoenix Mercury @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet/NBA TV); Soccer: MLS-Portland Timbers @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet); College Football: Towson Media Day (Wednesday 3:30pm Unitas Stadium); Canadian Football League: Hamilton Tiger-Cats @ Winnipeg Blue Bombers (Friday 8pm from Winnipeg live on NFL Network)

10. Silopanna feat. Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings, Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue, Matt And Kim, Fitz And The Tantrums, Jimmie’s Chicken Shack (Saturday 11:30am Anne Arundel County Fairgrounds); John Prine (Saturday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Train & Maroon 5 feat. Gavin DeGraw (Wednesday 5:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Jimmy Buffett & The Corral Reefer Band (Saturday 8pm Jiffy Lube Live), Journey feat. Foreigner & Night Ranger (Sunday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); The Temptations/The Four Tops (Thursday 8pm Wolf Trap), Bruce Hornsby & The Noisemakers (Sunday 8pm Wolf Trap), Doobie Brothers (Monday 8pm Wolf Trap); Buckethead (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live); Kenny Wayne Shepherd (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Chuck Brown (Saturday 9pm 9:30 Club); “Our Idiot Brother” out in theaters (Friday)

Cised for Silopanna. If you’re not in on Fitz & The Tantrums, you’re making a HUGE mistake. I’m not surprised knowing you…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=doe1KdaywKg[/youtube]

Trombone Shorty opened for Dave Matthews last fall when I saw him in Charlottesville. I’m the idiot for waiting this long to see him again…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWYA5OzK9xE[/youtube]

Sharon Jones is outstanding. That’s about all I have to say here.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ouI5KcyHfE[/youtube]

If you’re from Maryland and don’t love Jimmie’s Chicken Shack, you should probably just move already…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JobkYSL1W_o[/youtube]

9. Maryland State Fair (Friday-Monday Timonium Fairgrounds); Maryland Renaissance Festival (Saturday & Sunday RennFest Fairgrounds Annapolis); Cirque du Soleil Quidam (Wednesday-Sunday 1st Mariner Arena)

Good God I LOVE the State Fair. Not kidding. I honestly LOVE the State Fair. In fact, I will go over there with ANYONE and bet on Pig Races if you’re interested. Pig Races are awesome…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nHKZRhFLpkY[/youtube]

And the RennFest? I mean, is there anything…in the world…greater than ax throwing?

axthrowing

The shirtless guy behind me? Coolest MF-er on the face of the planet.

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 15 August 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Minnesota Lynx @ Washington Mystics (Thursday 7pm Verizon Center), Chicago Sky @ Washington Mystics (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NBA TV), Washington Mystics @ Indiana Fever (Sunday 6pm from Indianapolis live on NBA TV); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Demetrius Andrade vs. Grady Brewer (Friday 9pm from Hammond, IN live on ESPN2); Canadian Football League: Saskatchewan Roughriders @ Toronto Argonauts (Thursday 7:30pm from Toronto live on NFL Network)

10. Martin Lawrence (Sunday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena); American Idols Live (Friday 7pm Verizon Center); Ke$ha (Sunday 7:30pm Patriot Center); Slightly Stoopid (Wednesday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), Bill Cosby (Saturday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), Gipsy Kings (Sunday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Bob Dylan and his Band (Tuesday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Skullcandy Identity feat. Pretty Lights (Thursday 1pm Jiffy Lube Live), Kid Rock/Sheryl Crow (Monday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); Beach Boys (Sunday 3pm Wolf Trap); 10,000 Maniacs (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); “Hot August Blues” feat. Tedeschi Trucks Band & Robert Randolph (Saturday 12pm Oregon Ridge); Lynyrd Skynyrd/Doobie Brothers (Saturday 7pm Aberdeen Proving Ground)

I’m sung the praises of Robert Randolph in this blog so many times it’s almost overkill for me to go back to the well.

You know they call me “Dr. Overkill” in some circles…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kccFnAioNAg[/youtube]

I saw the Beach Boys last year at Pier Six. There was a thought process that it might be a bit hokey, but I was quickly reminded that there was no way in hell songs like this could EVER be hokey…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6Uc_Gi7gdM[/youtube]

I’m well aware that Michael McDonald isn’t in the band anymore. That being said, I’d still be in on this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDWGKQcQ8zw[/youtube]

I took my dad to see Bob Dylan years ago at American University in DC (he’s an alum). I didn’t understand much, but I’m pretty sure it was good. Just a shame he couldn’t bring Mumford & Sons and the Avett Brothers on tour with him…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPYvz9QEqUI[/youtube]

9. Baltimore Comic-Con (Saturday & Sunday Baltimore Convention Center); Baltimore Fashion Week (Thursday-Sunday Harbor East)

I would assume there”s a good bit of crossover between these crowds, no?

While Comic-Con probably ISN’T really my thing, I get this funny feeling it might be more up my alley than I otherwise would have realized.

Plus-Stan effing Lee is going to be there!

Stan Lee!

It’s good news for me-not because I have any comic books I need signed-but more because I’ve been needing some dating advice and the phone lines over at Loveline have been LOCKED…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vJpAXf5wyk[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 08 August 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Bantamweight Tournament Final-Joseph Agbeko vs. Abner Mares (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights: Kermit Cintron vs. Antwone Smith (Friday 9pm from St. Charles, MO live on ESPN2); WNBA: Atlanta Dream @ Washington Mystics (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & ESPN3.com), New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Friday 7pm Verizon Center); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Denver Outlaws @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3.com)

10. Melissa Etheridge (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), INXS (Wednesday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion), Chicago (Sunday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Return to Forever IV feat. Chick Corea (Tuesday 5:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), My Morning Jacket (Friday 5:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), O.A.R. feat. Virginia Coalition (Saturday 5:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Blink 182/My Chemical Romance (Friday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Tim McGraw feat. Luke Bryan (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); American Idol Live (Thursday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena); Mr. Greengenes (Friday 6pm Power Plant Live); Candlebox (Tuesday 7pm Recher Theatre), Ravyns (Saturday 7pm Recher Theatre); Steve Earle (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head on Stage); Steve Miller Band (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap); Havre de Grace Seafood Festival feat. Charlie Daniels Band (Friday 7:45pm Downtown Havre de Grace); Alkaline Trio (Sunday 7pm Black Cat DC); 10,000 Maniacs (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere)

I think everyone knows I’ll be in Columbia Saturday night. I mean, where else would I be???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG2hDRClSM0[/youtube]

The thing though is that I’m not ONLY excited about O.A.R., I’m also REALLY looking forward to seeing VACO again…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Orrs6LeIbWQ[/youtube]

I probably won’t make it out to see Chicago, but it’s not because they aren’t awesome…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSOaoPDO16Y[/youtube]

If I WASN’T going to be at OAR Saturday night, I would ABSOLUTELY be in Towson Saturday night to see Rob Fahey and the Ravyns. We love him…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZymOQ0qk_BU[/youtube]

9. 30 Minutes or Less” and “Final Destination 5” out in theaters (Friday)

I’ve seen 30 Minutes or Less. It’s funny. Not “HOLY HELL I’LL NEVER STOP CRYING” funny, but funny.

Of course, Aziz Ansari has the ability to be “HOLY HELL I’LL NEVER STOP CRYING” funny.

If you’re not a fan of Tom Haverford/Parks & Recreation, I have absolutely no idea what you’re doing with your life…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fS_bgv6f2Rk&feature=related[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 01 August 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Soccer-MLS Toronto FC @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm RFK Stadium); WNBA New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NBA TV); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Rochester Rattlers (Saturday 7pm from Rochester, NY live on ESPN3.com); Canadian Football League: Toronto Argonauts @ Montreal Alouettes (Thursday 8pm from Montreal live on NFL Network)

10. Jill Scott/Anthony Hamilton/Mint Condition (Sunday 7pm Verizon Center); Guster/Jack’s Mannequin (Sunday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Steely Dan (Tuesday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Death Cab For Cutie (Sunday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Alison Krauss & Union Station (Sunday 8pm Wolf Trap), INXS (Monday 8pm Wolf Trap); Cinderella (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live); Alien Ant Farm (Friday 7pm Recher Theatre), Hammerjack’s Reunion feat. Child’s Play (Saturday 1pm Recher Theatre); Cappadonna (Thursday 8:30pm Sonar); Toad The Wet Sprocket (Thursday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head On Stage); Bon Iver (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Rusted Root (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club); O.A.R. “King” (Tuesday) and Jay-Z & Kanye West “Watch The Throne” (Monday) available in stores/on iTunes; Doug Benson Loves Movies Podcast (Wednesday 8pm Baltimore Comedy Factory), Rob Cantrell (Thursday-Saturday Baltimore Comedy Factory); John Mulaney (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv)

Look, I know Steely Dan is great and all-but we agree that they stole a Grammy that rightly belonged to Eminem, don’t we?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTDRd0Z0O4o[/youtube]

Is the guy JD Fortune still singing for INXS after winning that reality show? It’s a little embarrassing, but if he can sing “Need You Tonight” ANYTHING like Michael Hutchence I’d be in…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LhvbRZWEtd4[/youtube]

I’ve seen Alien Ant Farm three times in my life. Perhaps I shouldn’t admit that, but I’ve felt like you and I should always be able to trust each other to tell the truth.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ2t4jfVTiU[/youtube]

I’m seriously freaking out about the new O.A.R. record. Not excited enough to actually go to a record STORE, but damnit I’m approaching 30. Record stores just aren’t real anymore. What was I talking about here?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-yValw_UbE[/youtube]

9. National Aquarium 30th Anniversary Festival (Friday-Sunday National Aquarium in Baltimore); Baltimore Summer Restaurant Week (begins Friday throughout Charm City)

It’s a shame William Donald Schaefer didn’t make it long enough for this. He wouldn’t have been in health to don the suit once more, but it wouldn’t have meant more to anyone in the world.

wds

Thus concludes the only part of this that will in any way resemble anything of a serious nature.

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 25 July 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Pro Wrestling-MCW Shane Shamrock Cup (Saturday 7pm New Green Room Dundalk); WNBA: San Antonio Silver Stars @ Washington Mystics (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Indiana Fever @ Washington Mystics (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Hamilton Nationals @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3.com); Arena Football: AFL Playoffs-Orlando Predators @ Jacksonville Sharks (Friday 8pm from Jacksonville live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: British Columbia Lions @ Winnipeg Blue Bombers (Thursday 8pm from Winnipeg live on NFL Network), Calgary Stampeders @ Saskatchewan Roughriders (Saturday 9:30pm from Saskatchewan live on NFL Network); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Victor Cayo vs. Anthony Peterson (Friday 9pm from Las Vegas live on ESPN2)

10. Emmylou Harris (Tuesday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Vans Warped Tour feat. Less Than Jake, Gym Class Heroes (Tuesday 12pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Black Eyed Peas (Saturday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); 311 & Sublime with Rome (Friday 6:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), Mayhem Festival feat. Godsmack/Disturbed/Megadeth (Saturday 2:15pm Jiffy Lube Live); Goo Goo Dolls/Michelle Branch (Tuesday 7pm Wolf Trap), Lynyrd Skynyrd (Wednesday 8pm Wolf Trap); Kottonmouth Kings (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live); Marc Broussard (Thursday 7:30pm Rams Head On Stage); Reel Big Fish (Sunday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Bon Iver (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Josh Groban (Wednesday 7:30pm Verizon Center), Keith Urban (Thursday 7:30pm Verizon Center), Britney Spears (Sunday 7pm Verizon Center); Congressional Blues Festival feat. Kenny Wayne Shepherd (Wednesday 6:30pm National Building Museum DC); Outlaw Jam feat. Motley Crue, Poison, Brian Setzer (Saturday & Sunday Frederick Fairgrounds)

I hate driving to Bristow, Virginia for ANYTHING…but I really dig 311. I might be in…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHXCyc279Cc[/youtube]

The Good Goo Dolls may have fallen off a bit, but there was a time when they were pretty damn good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP4qdefD2To&ob=av2e[/youtube]

You can make fun of me all you want, but I’m ALL IN on Keith Urban. Honestly. It’s just a shame he can’t bring John Mayer along with him for “Sweet Thing”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kiY9knTNnDg[/youtube]

I’m not sure how Brian Setzer fits in out in Fredrock at a festival that also features Poison & Motley Crue, but he’s definitely awesome…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_MMbiyVLRk[/youtube]

9. Otakon 2011 (Friday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center); “Shark Week” begins (Sunday 9pm Discovery Channel)

What do these things have to do with each other?

Actually I’m not really sure but I think there’s a good “parents’ basement” joke in there somewhere.

I’ll probably pass on Otakon again this year, but I’ll at least be willing to admit that there might be more here than initially meets the eye…

otakon

(Edit from GMC: Seriously. You go to a bar. You meet a gal. She’s attractive and engaging. You find out THIS is what she’s into. What do you do next? Your move.)

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 18 July 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Challengers-Bobby Voelker vs. Roger Bowling (Friday 11pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime); WNBA: Atlanta Dream @ Washington Mystics (Wednesday 11:30am from Verizon Center live on NBA TV); Arena Football: AFL Spokane Shock @ Jacksonville Sharks (Friday 8pm from Jacksonville live on NFL Network); CFL: Edmonton Eskimos @ Calgary Stampeders (Saturday 7pm from Calgary live on NFL Network); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Anthony Dirrell vs. Kevin Engel (Friday 9pm from Las Vegas live on ESPN2), Amir Khan vs. Zab Judah (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on HBO); Roller Derby: Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 5:30pm Du Burns Arena); Pro Lacrosse: MLL Long Island Lizards @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet/ESPN3.com)

10. Michael McDonald & Boz Scaggs (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), Dierks Bentley (Thursday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Wiz Khalifa (Sunday 3:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Lucinda Williams/Amos Lee (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Emmylou Harris (Saturday 8pm Wolf Trap); Kid Cudi (Saturday 7pm Ocean City Inlet); Ted Nugent (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live); Better Than Ezra (Friday 6pm Power Plant Live); Jimi Haha (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Marc Cohn (Saturday 9pm Rams Head On Stage); Ellie Goulding (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Jonny Lang (Tuesday 7:30pm Birchmere), Carbon Leaf (Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); Brian McKnight (Friday 8pm Strathmore); Tom Papa (Thursday-Saturday DC Improv); 311 “Universal Pulse” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

I don’t care what Paul Rudd said in “40 Year Old Virgin”, Michael McDonald kicks ass. (Note: Michael McDonald doesn’t really kick ass. But “What a Fool Believes” does.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CDWGKQcQ8zw[/youtube]

It’s much too far a haul, but I’d be all in to go see Amos Lee…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDOcbMic6mI[/youtube]

Can anyone help me find an affordable place to stay in OC this weekend? I’d REALLY like to go see Kid Cudi…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRPpLGxGNZY[/youtube]

If I don’t go to OC this weekend, I’m definitely going to see BTE Friday night. This song was the soundtrack to my 7th grade…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gl6gaF_6Wcs[/youtube]

9. Captain America” and “Friends With Benefits” open in theaters (Friday)

I’m all in on Captain America because…I mean…he’s Captain freaking America.

You might be surprised that I’m also in on FWB, but I am. Think about it. One-it’s a movie about Mila Kunis having sex…

kunis

Two-Justin Timberlake is legit funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOulenjUr5E[/youtube]

(Eds. Note: Why would SNL try so hard to ruin him by shoving Kristen Wiig and Lady GaGa in this sketch?)

(Eds. Note 2: No way Friends With Benefits is REALLY funny.)

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 11 July 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Diego Magdaleno vs. Alejandro Perez (Friday 11:05pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights-Pawel Wolak vs. Delvin Rodriguez (Friday 9pm from New York live on ESPN2); WNBA: Washington Mystics @ Seattle Storm (Tuesday 3pm from Seattle live on NBA TV), Washington Mystics @ Los Angeles Sparks (Sunday 8:30pm from LA live on NBA TV); Arena Football-AFL Pittsburgh Power @ Cleveland Gladiators (Friday 8pm from Cleveland live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: Saskatchewan Roughriders @ Hamilton Tiger-Cats (Saturday 4pm from Hamilton, ONT live on NFL Network), British Columbia Lions @ Edmonton Eskimos (Saturday 7pm from Edmonton live on NFL Network), Calgary Stampeders @ Winnipeg Blue Bombers (Thursday 8pm from Winnipeg live on ESPN3.com), Toronto Argonauts @ Montreal Alouettes (Saturday 7:30pm from Montreal live on ESPN3.com); Tennis: WTT New York Sportimes @ Washington Kastles (Tuesday 7pm from Kastles Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet), Springfield Lasers @ Washington Kastles (Thursday 7pm from Kastles Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet/Tennis Channel), St. Louis Aces @ Washington Kastles (Friday 7pm Kastles Stadium), Sacramento Capitals @ Washington Kastles (Monday 7pm Kastles Stadium)

10. Pat Benatar/Neil Giraldo/Dennis DeYoung (Friday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion), Peter Frampton (Sunday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Miranda Lambert (Friday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Lil’ Wayne (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); Huey Lewis & The News (Wednesday 8pm Wolf Trap); Mr. Greengenes (Friday 7pm Power Plant Live); Soundgarden (Tuesday 7:30pm Patriot Center); Jonny Lang (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Taking Back Sunday (Saturday 6pm Rams Head Live); Jimi Haha (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Tim Meadows (Friday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head On Stage), Cracker (Sunday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Interpol (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Stephen Marley (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club), Marc Broussard (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club); Edwin McCain (Thursday 7:30pm Birchmere); k.d. lang (Thursday 8pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); A Perfect Circle (Sunday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2 out in theaters (Friday)

I certainly wouldn’t pay to do it, but there’s at least a chance I’ll sit across the Pier Friday night for Dennis DeYoung. Do you have any idea how many times I’ve watched Styx: Behind The Music?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJJcR1r7u2A&feature=fvst[/youtube]

I was sitting around cracking crabs Sunday when a Lil’ Wayne tune came on Pandora. I was reminded of how much Mr. Weezy can make things…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHZtMNbrmWE[/youtube]

I’m HONESTLY debating getting in the car Tuesday night, driving the two hours or so to Fairfax (might be more like 3 given traffic) and taking in the iconic pipes of Chris Cornell. Dude is an icon…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T0_zzCLLRvE[/youtube]

If you’ve never heard Jimi Haha outside of Jimmie’s Chicken Shack, I’d imagine you’d be quite pleasantly surprised…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5i05XEAN9Lg[/youtube]

9. Poker-World Series of Poker (Thursday & Friday 3pm 7pm 11pm live on ESPN3.com 11pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 3:30pm live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com, Sunday 12am 3pm 10pm live on ESPN3.com 12am 10pm live on ESPN2, Monday 7pm live on ESPN2/ESPN3.com. All poker from Las Vegas)

Remember when ESPN attempted to convince us that everyone in the world would be watching/playing/caring about/paying attention to poker a few years ago?

Umm….how’d that work out?

Despite the fact that no one seems to care anymore, they’re going to provide their lengthiest/most in-depth coverage of the event ever this year. That’s good news, as I was struggling to answer the question “what am I going to not watch on TV this week?” with something besides NASCAR or golf.

Want me to watch? Try “World Series of Strip Poker” with Lais Ribeiro (thanks Guyism). I won’t guarantee I’ll watch, but I’m much more likely…

lais

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 04 July 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Arena Football-AFL Cleveland Gladiators @ Philadelphia Soul (Friday 8pm from Philly live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: Montreal Alouettes @ Saskatchewan Roughriders (Saturday 4pm from Saskatchewan live on NFL Network), Hamilton Tiger-Cats @ Edmonton Eskimos (Saturday 7pm from Edmonton live on NFL Network); WNBA: Washington Mystics @ Chicago Sky (Tuesday 8pm from Chicago live on ESPN3.com); Boxing: Brandon Rios vs. Urbano Antillon (Saturday 10pm from Carson, CA live on Showtime), Paul Williams vs. Erislandy Lara (Saturday 10:15pm from Atlantic City live on HBO), Friday Night Fights-Francisco Sierra vs. Jesus Gonzales (Friday 9pm from Phoenix live on ESPN2)

10. Bela Fleck & The Flecktones (Thursday 6pm Rams Head Live), Charm City Devils (Saturday 7:30pm Rams Head Live), Old 97′s (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Frankie Beverly & MAZE (Saturday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Animal Collective (Saturday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Def Leppard/Heart (Saturday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); Marshall Tucker Band (Sunday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); John Witherspoon (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); Rockapella (Thursday 7:30pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); The Bridge (Sunday 6pm Ladew Gardens)

The Old 97′s are the best band you’ve never heard of. (I’ve always wanted to say that!)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1nn7lXP7WQ[/youtube]

I’ve been trying to get you to support John Allan and CCD boys for years. Please start soon.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUB08-RuwdM[/youtube]

My favorite Def Leppard tune? Quite possibly “Photograph”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ5bS3_BCDs[/youtube]

For the 15th time this year, PLEASE START LISTENING TO THE BRIDGE…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajY3mBuGVQk[/youtube]

9. “Horrible Bosses” opens in theaters (Friday); Boy Meets World Season 6 available on DVD (Tuesday)

I finally saw “Bridesmaids” over 4th of July weekend. How can Kristen Wiig not be funny at all on Saturday Night Live but then be genuinely funny in a really funny movie? Weird.

Critics are telling us Horrible Bosses is really funny, so I imagine I’ll see it. I am struggling with one of the plotlines being Charlie Day having problems with being sexually harassed by Jennifer Aniston however…

aniston

Nope. Not buying it.

And as far as BMW Season 6 goes, I remember the ridiculous range of emotions I experienced while watching the episode “Resurrection.” Tough to do this to a 13 year old kid, ABC.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIv8WCIfD4Y[/youtube]

8. Pro Lacrosse: MLL All-Star Game (Saturday 7pm from Boston live on ESPN2)

Lord…they’ve won the Super Bowl three times, the World Series twice, the NBA Championship, the Stanley Cup and four Frozen Fours since 2001 and now they’re taking the All-Star Game in OUR sport?

Jesus, this is too much. Seriously, can’t we just have anything in Charm City? I mean, are they going to take this from us next???

backriver

7. Cycling: Tour De France (Stage 3 Tuesday 8am Stage 4 Wednesday 7:30am Stages 5-8 Thursday-Sunday 8am all live on VERSUS)

I couldn’t tell you a damn THING about the Tour de France at this point, and I follow Lance Armstrong on Twitter.

Instead, I offer a picture of Buffalo Chicken Waffle French Fries for my food porn friends…

fries

Word.

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR Quaker State 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Sparta, KY live on TNT); IndyCar Series Honda Indy Toronto (Sunday 2pm from Toronto live on VERSUS)

Something called David Ragan won this week’s NASCAR race in Daytona. So…that happened.

Look-if it had been Brian Regan, I would have been interested…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89frRi8GgGA[/youtube]

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 27 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Seattle Storm @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); Arena Football: AFL Pittsburgh Power @ Orlando Predators (Friday 8pm from Orlando live on NFL Network); Canadian Football League: British Columbia Lions @ Montreal Alouettes (Thursday 7:30pm from Montreal live on NFL Network), Toronto Argonauts @ Calgary Stampeders (Saturday 8pm from Calgary live on NFL Network); NBA Collective Bargaining Agreement Expires (Friday); Cycling-Tour De France (Stage 1 Saturday Stage 2 Sunday Stage 3 Monday 8am live on VERSUS)

10. R. Kelly (Friday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena/Saturday 8pm Verizon Center); Trace Adkins (Friday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Kid Cudi (Saturday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Red/Red Jumpsuit Apparatus (Wednesday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); Todd Rundgren (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Matt and Kim (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club); “A Capitol Fourth” feat. Little Richard (Monday 8pm from the U.S. Capitol live on PBS); Uncle Sam Jam feat. Pat McGee Band & Blind Melon (Saturday 2pm National Harbor); Wale (Saturday 10pm Unitas Stadium), Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Wednesday) and Larry Crowne (Friday) open in theaters

You can make fun of me all you want. If you don’t dig “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” you and I are simply going to have to agree to disagree…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNVguvNE7qc[/youtube]

I really feel like I should dig Kid Cudi much more than I do. All told, he’s okay…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt22KvnRSL4[/youtube]

I’ve actually seen Little Richard play once before…it was right after Maryland pasted Tennessee in the 2002 Peach Bowl. He played in the middle of downtown Atlanta, as they dropped a huge peach behind him. It kicked ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZ6h0kyqSRk[/youtube]

I don’t know how many more praises I can sing for Wale. Dude is incredible, even if he is an effing Redskins fan…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zZqtYXDeh8[/youtube]

9. 4th of July Fireworks (Monday 9:30pm Inner Harbor); 4th of July parades/fireworks throughout Baltimore County (Saturday-Monday)

I’m partial myself to the Kingsville 4th of July parade having grown up on Bradshaw Road. As a youngster, it was nice to have something to do in town on Independence Day. Or at least a refreshing change of pace from what there was to do every other day in Kingsville…

nothing

So how did we get in so much trouble????

8. Boxing: IBF/WBO/WBA Heavyweight Championship Unification-Wladimir Klitschko vs. David Haye (Saturday 4:45pm from Hamburg, GER live on HBO), Friday Night Fights-Mark Melligen vs. Sebastian Lujan (Friday 11pm from San Antonio, TX live on ESPN2)

If a heavyweight title fight is held and no one pays attention, did it really happen?

This isn’t just a “everyone has a piece of the title so we’ll fight for a tenth of it” title fight, either. This is a legitimate “heavyweight championship of the world” title fight.

And yet…crickets.

Look, if Wladimir Klitschko wants people to pay attention to his next fight, I suggest he make it a “foxy boxing” contest against Jarah Marino (Thanks Guyism)…

jarah

Hey man…I know what I have to do to get page views, Wlad might have to do the same…

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Coke Zero 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Daytona, FL live on TNT)

I was in Charles Town, West Virginia Saturday night playing the ponies to celebrate a friend’s birthday. In the 5th race, the Number 5 horse literally through its’ jockey off not even a furlong in-only to go on to “win” the race by a nose. (Without the rider the win of course did not count.)

A young man standing near the rail near our party (who I’m reasonably certain was from WV) exclaimed “I ain’t never seen the #48 car do that!

So that’s what I’ve got from the world of NASCAR this week. Oh-apparently Kurt Busch won this week’s NASCAR race. And I saw Cars 2 Friday night! While I was sitting in the theater waiting for the flick to start, I Tweeted the following (follow me on Twitter @GlennClarkWNST)…

“Out to see #Cars2 tonight. #Thingsa27yearoldwithoutkidsshouldneverTweet”

So…yep…that’s all I’ve got for NASCAR. Honestly though, what did you expect?

6. Golf: PGA Tour AT&T National (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Newton Square, PA); Champions Tour Principal Charity Classic (Friday 6:30pm Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm from West Des Moines, IA live on Golf Channel)

The National used to be an event that folks cared about because it was hosted by Tiger Woods. That was of course before Tiger Woods retired from competitive golf without having the decency to hold as much as a press conference to announce his decision.

Without Tiger, Drew Forrester will once again be the only person who cares even a little bit about the event. But since it’s near Philadelphia, it’s a great excuse to pass along this snippet of food porn…

patssteak

Look man…I’m no golf fan…but if watching a couple holes earned me a trip to Pat’s…I might be in.

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 20 June 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Pro Lacrosse-MLL Boston Cannons @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium); Arena Football: AFL Kansas City Command @ Utah Blaze (Friday 8pm from Salt Lake City live on NFL Network); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-John Molina vs. Robert Frankel (Friday 9pm from Temecula, CA live on ESPN2), Devon Alexander vs. Lucas Matthysse (Saturday 9:45 from St. Charles, MO live on HBO); WNBA: Indiana Fever @ Washington Mystics (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Tulsa Shock @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

10. Bad Teacher” and “Cars 2” out in theaters (Friday)

Both of these flicks appear to be watchable at worst. Bad Teacher looks particularly good, as it includes the great Jason Segel…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5ZtwbzUFZE[/youtube]

…Phyllis from “The Office”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCZIfPAWMis[/youtube]

…and of course the great Justin Timberlake…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pi7gwX7rjOw[/youtube]

9. Roots Fest (Wednesday-Sunday “Highway to Nowhere”-Route 40, Franklin and N. Gilmor)

Perhaps the highlight of the event? The dialogue on the future of Baltimore…with the cast of “The Wire.”

Given the folks involved, is it safe to say that the future of Baltimore somehow involves drugs?

I’d pay ten dollars just to go and watch the guys re-enact their interrogations. Pardon the language…it’s art.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EeFa8QOq_Y[/youtube]

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Toyota/Save Mart 350 (Sunday 3pm from Sonoma, CA live on TNT); IndyCar Series Iowa Corn Indy 250 (Saturday 8pm from Newton, IA live on VERSUS)

Rex Snider said something on Twitter the other day about NASCAR TV ratings being up. I would have kept reading, but it involved NASCAR so I’m pretty sure no one cared.

Jeff Gordon recently won an event. With Cars 2 set to open soon, I will admit that I am much more concerned with how Jeff Gorvette is doing…

gorvette

7. Golf: PGA Tour Travelers Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Cromwell, Conn.); Champions Tour Dick’s Sporting Goods Open (Friday 6:30pm Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm from Endicott, NY live on Golf Channel); Wegmans LPGA Championship (Thursday & Friday 12:30pm Saturday & Sunday 4pm from Pittsford, NY live on Golf Channel)

With the U.S. Open in the books (and Rory McIlroy still making a birdie somewhere at Congressional), all of us not named Drew Forrester now go right back to doing exactly what we were doing before-not really giving a crap about golf.

You know how that would change? More Bubba Watson in overalls and “ooh-da-lolly lolly.”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PM2NocuEihw[/youtube]

Seriously…these guys need to make one of these videos every week, especially if Tiger Woods is going to totally stop banging whores.

I mean, what the hell else are we supposed to do? Talk about golf???

6. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC Live 4-Nate Marquardt vs. Rick Story (Sunday 9pm from Pittsburgh live on VERSUS); Strikeforce Challengers-Caros Fodor vs. James Terry (Friday 11pm from Kent, WA live on Showtime)

A couple of things. One-Is Kevin Connolly REALLY interested in making a movie about the life of one-time MMA star Kimbo Slice? REALLY? Is Mr. T available to play him???

And also-did you see this picture of Conor Heun that Bloody Elbow posted after the Strikeforce event Saturday night? Looks normal at first…but keep looking at his right arm. I’ll give you about 5 seconds before you exclaim “Ohhhhh…………”

heun

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