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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 03 January 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: National Field Hockey Coaches’ Association Convention (Thursday-Sunday, Baltimore Convention Center); Soccer: MISL-Milwaukee Wave @ Baltimore Blast (Saturday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena); High School Basketball: Perry Hall @ Patapsco (Wednesday 6:30pm), Woodlawn @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm)

10. Lovin’ Spoonful (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Gregg Allman (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Pietasters (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); Sarah MacLachlan (Monday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Dinner For Schmucks” and “Machete” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

Yeah, that’s about it this week. Wish I could give you something better. Either way, this song is GREAT…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWXcjYNZais[/youtube]

As is this song…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WGVW7byRCA[/youtube]

And this song…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxa0Kpgsgv8[/youtube]

And when she’s not forcing me to look at pictures of injured animals, Sarah MacLachlan can even be bearable…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VrggQW7tk[/youtube]

But yeah, it’s disappointing…

9. Bull Riding-PBR Touring Pro Division (Friday-Saturday Patriot Center)

Apparently this event isn’t the event they show on TV, so it’s not that big of a deal.

But if Johnny Knoxville were to show up, it WOULD be a big deal…because it would be awesome…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jovQQOOMes[/youtube]

8. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Challengers (Friday 11pm from Nashville live on Showtime)

So I sat down and watched some MMA for the first time in MONTHS Saturday, checking out UFC 125 after the Winter Classic.

I was reminded of how awesome the sport can sometimes be…

vera

Brandon Vera’s face was completely rearranged by Thiago Alves. His nose is now hanging out somewhere near his right ear.

Yet he was smiling.

Awesome.

7. NBA: Washington Wizards @ Philadelphia 76ers (Wednesday 7pm from Philadelphia live on Comcast SportsNet), New Jersey Nets @ Washington Wizards (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Charlotte Bobcats (Saturday 7pm from Charlotte live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS)

Did the ‘Zards know Gilbert Arenas could do THIS before they traded him to the Orlando Magic???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZheMh7QS5QQ[/youtube]

6. Pro Wrestling: TNA Genesis (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

As always, I like to try to provide compelling reasons to view PPV events when I include them on the list. This week’s compelling reason is named Taylor Wilde…

taylorwilde

She’s reportedly a wrestler. Like you care.

5. Golf: PGA Tour Hyundai Tournament of Champions (Thursday-Saturday 5:30pm, Sunday 6pm from Kapalua, HI live on Golf Channel)

Oh thank God golf is back. Absolutely no one* had missed it.

(*No one not named Drew Forrester that is.)

My pick to win the golf tour this year? Chi Chi Rodriguez.

Hey, why change now?

In other golf news, former Tiger Woods mistress Loredana Jolie did something recently. Unless it’s taking another picture with her clothes off, you wouldn’t care.

ljolie

4. NHL: Tampa Bay Lightning @ Washington Capitals (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Florida Panthers @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

Look, I’m not a fan of the Pittsburgh Penguins OR the Washington Capitals, so I don’t have a dog in the hunt. The Pens may have lost on the ice at Heinz Field Saturday; but there was one area where they DIDN’T lose…

bylsma

Bruce Boudreau won the game…but Dan Bylsma looked AMAZING.

Can’t win ‘em all, Caps fans.

3. College Basketball: Colgate @ Maryland (Tuesday 8pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Maryland @ Duke (Sunday 8pm from Durham, NC live on Fox Sports Net nationally, CSN locally); Howard @ Morgan State (Saturday 4pm Hill Field House); Maine @ UMBC (Saturday 2pm RAC Arena); Hampton @ Coppin State (Saturday 4pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex), Howard @ Coppin State (Monday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); Women’s College Basketball: Maryland @ Duke (Thursday 7pm from Durham, NC live on Comcast SportsNet)

Eff Duke.

Does this picture ever get old?

cryingkid

And while we’re at it, how ’bout we throw this Greivis Vasquez classic in there too?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrajaO74m94[/youtube]

And since the women are playing this week too, here’s Kristi Toliver…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNpNRtFN1K0[/youtube]

Look, I don’t think the Terrapins are going to beat the Blue Devils Sunday at Cameron Indoor Stadium-but it doesn’t change how I feel. Just let me have this.

2. College Football: BCS Championship Game-Auburn vs. Oregon (Monday 8:30pm from Glendale, AZ live on ESPN), Sugar Bowl-Ohio State vs. Arkansas (Tuesday 8:30pm from New Orleans live on ESPN), Cotton Bowl-LSU vs. Texas A&M (Friday 8pm from Arlington, TX live on FOX), GoDaddy.com Bowl-Miami (Ohio) vs. Middle Tennessee (Thursday 8pm from Mobile, AL live on ESPN), BBVA Compass Bowl-Pitt vs. Kentucky (Saturday 12pm from Birmingham, AL live on ESPN), Fight Hunger Bowl-Boston College vs. Nevada (Sunday 9pm from San Francisco live on ESPN); NCAA FCS Championship Game: Delaware vs. Eastern Washington (Friday 7pm from Frisco, TX live on ESPN2)

Which Cam Newton joke do you want to go with?

I’ll admit this much. I’m going to be rooting AGAINST the Tigers on Monday night.

I think it’s just probably better for everyone if Newton DOESN’T win the National Championship. Of course, we said the same thing about the Heisman Trophy but that was already decided.

As far as the FCS title is concerned, I’m assuming Delaware wins-right? I mean, there’s NO WAY a team that plays on a field that looks like this can win……can they???

ewu

1. NFL Playoffs: AFC Wild Card Round-Baltimore Ravens @ Kansas City Chiefs (Sunday 1pm from Kansas City live on CBS), New York Jets @ Indianapolis Colts (Saturday 8pm from Indianapolis live on NBC); NFC Wild Card Round-New Orleans Saints @ Seattle Seahawks (Saturday 4:30pm from Seattle live on NBC), Green Bay Packers @ Philadelphia Eagles (Sunday 4:30pm from Philadelphia live on FOX)

The only issue I have here is that I don’t have quite the hate built up for KC that I did for Indy.

If we had been headed out to LucasOil Stadium this weekend, I would have had PLENTY of hate stored up. I don’t know how much hate I can have stored up in a trip to Arrowhead Stadium.

Of course, there IS good news about a trip to Kansas City…

bbq

Yeah…if I were you, I’d think about getting on the bus.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

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Thursday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 09 December 2010 by Glenn Clark

Happy Thursday!

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because I left “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation” playing on a loop on my DVD player the other night, which means I’ve seen THIS scene play out about twenty times now since Thanksgiving. It hasn’t gotten old.

(Edit from GMC: You know damn well there’s an “F word” in this clip. Act accordingly.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk74WprmZxY[/youtube]

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. WNST.net’s Drew Forrester says John Harbaugh didn’t intend to direct Tuesday night comments to all Baltimore fans

But there’s no doubt how folks in Charm City TOOK the comments, and that’s what Harbaugh is going to have to keep in mind moving forward.

I’m a little spent on Harbaugh comments following my column yesterday comparing him and former Ohio State coach John Cooper (you should go here and read it). I’ve talked to a number of football fans in town over the last 24 hours and there’s no question the comments stuck with fans.

I understand where John Harbaugh’s emotion came from Tuesday night. I understand that he’s as frustrated (if not more) than anyone in town right now.

But he HAS to be more respectful to fans-even when they’re insane. (Edit from GMC: Says the guy who loses his mind on football fans on a regular basis.)

It’s part of the job, whether he wants it to be or not.

2. WNST.net’s Glenn Clark says Ravens LB Jameel McClain will appeal $40k fine

There’s no doubt McClain’s fine was a bit excessive for a first time offender who had no intent to hit Pittsburgh TE Heath Miller in the head. But something tells me the NFL has decided they need to make a statement in this case because the game was seen by a HUGE audience on NBC’s Sunday Night Football.

Make no mistake. This will absolutely be a significant issue as the NFLPA enters labor discussions this offseason and we head towards a potential lockout in 2011. If the league wants any concessions from players regarding revenue, they are almost certainly going to have to concede this outrageous fines even if they are simply trying to protect their players.

It’s not going to be an easy fight.

3. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Mike Duffy says Ed Reed believes Steelers WR Hines Ward deserved fine as well

Speaking of fine, here’s a picture of Danielle Dwyer. (Thanks Brosome via Busted Coverage!)

danielled

4. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Ravens lost CB Prince Miller to Detroit Lions, signed CB Danny Gorrer to practice squad

And before we move on from the Ravens, a couple of things…

-The Ravens return to the practice field at 1 Winning Drive in Owings Mills today. Harbaugh, QB Joe Flacco, RB Ray Rice, LB Ray Lewis and others are scheduled to address the media. We’ll have full coverage, so make sure you stay tuned to AM1570 WNST, follow us on Twitter (@WNST) and keep checking back at WNST.net.

-Did you miss Ravens TE Ed Dickson with Drew Forrester Thursday on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST? Make sure you head over to the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net today to check it out. Some other things you can hear in the Audio Vault include…

  • Sean Salisbury (“Sean Unfiltered”-Voice America Sports Radio)-who went around the NFL with Drew Thursday
  • Michael Bradley (Philadelphia Magazine)-who talked about his decision to not give his Heisman Trophy vote to Cam Newton with Drew Thursday
  • Our Morning Reaction “Cheap Shots From The Bleachers”, as Drew took a shot at Cam Newton winning the Heisman, and Glenn Clark took a shot at fans who don’t “get” the Army/Navy Game
  • Vinnie Iyer (Sporting News)-who went around the NFL with Rex Snider Wednesday on “The Afternoon Drive”
  • Barry Barnes (Fanhouse)-who went around the AFC North with Rex Wednesday
  • Jean Fugett Jr. (Former Washington Redskins & Dallas Cowboys TE)-who discussed the loss of Todd Heap with Rex Wednesday
  • Lee Hull (Terps WR Coach)-who joined Thyrl Nelson Wednesday for “The Terrapins Coaches’ Report”
  • Steve Beck (Military Bowl Executive Director)-who discussed the Maryland-East Carolina matchup with Thyrl Wednesday on “The Mobtown Sports Beat”
  • Mike Bauman (MLB.com)-who checked in with Thyrl Wednesday from the MLB winter meetings in Orlando
  • Plenty of audio from 1 Winning Drive Wednesday; including Dickson, Jameel McClain, Le’Ron McClain, Todd Heap, Derrick Mason, Anquan Boldin and Kelly Gregg
  • Post-game audio from Maryland’s win over UNC Greensboro last night; including Gary Williams, Jordan Williams, Cliff Tucker and Adrian Bowie

It’s all in the Audio Vault, so make sure you take a few minutes today to check it out. You know you want to.

5. MLB.com’s Kelly Thesier says Orioles, Minnesota Twins could finalize deal for JJ Hardy today

Between this and Mitch Atkins, I’m not sure how the Birds CAN’T win the World Series next year!

If they’re still looking to make a splash before the end of the meetings, I have a suggestion for Andy MacPhail. Consider Alina Vacariu. (Thanks Guyism!)

vacariu

(Edit from GMC: UPDATE-CBSSports.com now says the deal is done. Hooray!)

6. The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says O’s agreed to terms with Koji Uehara on one year deal

I don’t know if this has ever happened before, but if I were the Orioles I might go ahead and consider a ticker tape parade BEFORE Spring Training.

The Orioles made other news Wednesday, as they distanced themselves from comments made by Luke Scott in an interview with Yahoo! Sports.

I can’t imagine why…

7. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Adrian Bowie, Cliff Tucker respond to adversity as Maryland crushed UNC Greensboro

The Spartans stink. That being said, even they could beat Penn State.

Gary Williams said after the game he considered making lineup changes following the Terps’ poor offensive output against Temple in the BB&T Classic.

Cliff Tucker said he didn’t know he was starting until earlier in the day Wednesday.

Gary Williams WANTS to stick with Tucker and Bowie all season. Fans want to see Terrell Stoglin and Pe’Shon Howard in the lineup.

What ends up happening will have everything to do with whether or not Tucker and Bowie can play with consistency over the next few weeks.

Maryland opens ACC play Sunday afternoon (4pm on Comcast SportsNet/Fox Sports Net) when they host Boston College at Comcast Center.

8. TowsonTigers.com says Josh Brown and Rashawn Polk scored 18 points each, but Towson couldn’t hold off George Washington in DC

A loss to the Colonials probably won’t impress anyone, but a six point game against GWU at the Smith Center is likely a sign of progress for Pat Kennedy’s team. One major problem from last night? They got just one point from Troy Franklin. I don’t think they’ll win many games that way.

Towson now heads to Catonsville next for a contest with UMBC at RAC Arena Saturday night. The Retrievers had a rough night last night, as they were pounded by Rider 81-39. I’d tell you something about that game, but what the hell is there to say?

9. The AP says Shane Walker & Robert Olson each scored 14, but Loyola lost to George Mason in Fairfax

Tough night for Jimmy Patsos’ Greyhounds last night at the Patriot Center.

In honor of the holiday season, I’m going to try to make some spirits bright here. Here’s a picture of Tehmeena Afzal. (Thanks The Smoking Jacket!)

afzal

10. Washington Post’s Eric Prisbell says Terrapins Offensive Coordinator James Franklin finalist for head coaching gig at Vanderbilt

This COULD end up being helpful for Kevin Anderson and the folks in College Park.

James Franklin did a HELL of a job with Danny O’Brien this season. Should he leave for the Commodores, his leadership would be missed.

But the Terps have a MESS on their hands with this transition. Either they’re going to have to force Ralph Friedgen out and give the job to Franklin (which didn’t seem so unlikely a season ago), or they’re going to have to dish out a million bucks they don’t have.

If Franklin heads to Nashville, Maryland avoids that problem. Either they can extend Friedgen should he have another good season or they can hire whatever available coach they want to hire.

But bear in mind-the leadership at the University of Maryland WANTED James Franklin to be the next head coach. The move wasn’t just made to keep him from going back to Kansas State. They ABSOLUTELY thought Franklin represented what they wanted in a head coach.

It’s just become a much stickier situation than they originally expected.

And finally, I leave you with this.

Time for a few new versions of “The Greatest Song(s) of All Time This Week.”

It’s a Christmas edition this time around.

The retro version of TGSOATTW is “Christmas Song” by Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds. WIN.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x33XlnWWfaI[/youtube]

The new version is the version of “Last Christmas” they did on GLEE. Please don’t judge me because I like this.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoNvv7hq364[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 06 December 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Women’s College Basketball-Maryland @ Loyola (Tuesday 7pm Reitz Arena), UMBC @ Maryland (Friday 7pm Comcast Center); Golf: PGA Tour Shark Shootout (Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 4pm Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Naples, FL); High School Basketball: Edmondson @ Perry Hall (Wednesday 6:30pm), Perry Hall @ Dulaney (Friday 7pm)

10. Matisyahu (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Hinder/Saving Abel/My Darkest Days/Default (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live); Old 97′s (Tuesday 7pm Recher Theatre), Nonpoint (Thursday 7pm Recher Theatre); Usher (Wednesday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena); Better Than Ezra (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), G. Love & Special Sauce (Monday 8pm 9:30 Club); National Tree Lighting Ceremony feat. B.B. King, Maroon 5, Sara Bareilles (Thursday 5pm President’s Park); Mint Condition (Thursday & Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); T.I. “No Mercy” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday); Mid-Atlantic Holiday Beer Tasting (Saturday 12pm The Brewer’s Art)

With this being Hanukkah, I will mention that I LOVE Matisyahu…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS9uTiEY9ag[/youtube]

Haven’t heard of Old 97′s? Maybe it’s time to take a minute…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDDyD0Hj5n0[/youtube]

Maybe Nonpoint should invite Ray Lewis over to Recher Theatre for their Phil Collins cover…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihYwcaxEEUk[/youtube]

Better Than Ezra is the type of band that has had a much bigger impact on my life than I might really recognize. Between Empire Records and THIS classic, I’m really grateful for the boys from New Orleans…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9-FD5un87M[/youtube]

9. Inception“, “Shrek Forever After” and “Boy Meets World Season 4” available in stores (Tuesday)

You know why Season 4 of Boy Meets World was the best one? It was the season that featured the “Sixteen Candles and 400 Pound Men” episode. You know, where Cory Matthews had to help his friend Frankie with his father (Vader)’s match against Jake “The Snake” Roberts while also being there to dance with Topanga Lawrence at her 16th birthday party.

Yeah, I’m a nerd. But this is a great episode. It’s an ode to The Flintstones episode where Fred Flintstone has to be in two places at once. Here’s the end of the episode…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ue284USuKQ[/youtube]

8. Boxing: IBF/WBO Heavyweight Championship-Vladimir Klitschko vs. Dereck Chisora (Saturday 5pm from Mannheim, Germany live on ESPN3.com), Yonnhy Perez vs. Joseph Agbeko, Abner Mares vs. Vic Darchinyan (Saturday 9pm from Tacoma, Washington live on Showtime)

I’ll be forced to admit that I could not have told you who held the IBF, WBO, WBA, HBO, NBA, NWA, OPP, TLC, IWIF, MIAA, NAACP or UNICEF heavyweight titles.

And frankly, I have nothing to offer to a boxing discussion that would be of value. Except that the “Floyd Wetherton” character on Family Guy was an amazing combination of both very sad and very funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyFRtqxFE6k[/youtube]

7. Soccer: MISL-Missouri Comets @ Baltimore Blast (Saturday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena); College Soccer: NCAA Championship Game (Sunday 4pm from Santa Barbara, CA live on ESPN2)

Obviously there’s little to no interest in the College Cup now because Maryland lost to Michigan Saturday, eliminating the Terrapins from the NCAA Tournament.

I’d like to give you another reason to watch Friday and Sunday, but I honestly don’t have it.

Instead, I’ll discuss something much more significant in the world of soccer. A recent news story about the breakout soccer star of 2010.

You’ll remember Larissa Riquelme as the Paraguay soccer fan who captivated the attention of the world during this summer’s World Cup. NOW you’ll remember her as the girl who recently wore this dress…

riquelme

6. NBA: Washington Wizards @ Los Angeles Lakers (Tuesday 10:30pm from LA live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Sacramento Kings (Wednesday 10pm from Sacramento live on Comcast SportsNet), New York Knicks @ Washington Wizards (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

If you’re a fan of the ‘Zards (I’ve heard a rumor there are a handful of you out there somewhere, but I haven’t actually MET any of you in my life), I suggest you not watch their game with me Tuesday night. I’ll be rooting hard for the Lakers.

Not because I’m some sort of bandwagon Lakers fan, trust me.

I’ll be rooting hard for the Lakers because this guy plays for them…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2UUyAzKLMg[/youtube]

Steve Blake will always be a hero to me.

5. NHL: Carolina Hurricanes @ Washington Capitals (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on VERSUS & Comcast SportsNet), Colorado Avalanche @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ New York Rangers (Sunday 7pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet & NHL Network)

You already know I’m not a fan of the Caps, so let’s just move on from that.

I’m not sure if this particular dress…

rangersdress

…is available in a Phoenix Coyotes style, I know what “The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet” will be getting for Christmas this year. And will be wearing to every function we attend in 2011.

4. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 124-Georges St. Pierre vs. Josh Koscheck (Saturday 10pm from Montreal live on Pay-Per-View)

Since the fight is happening in Montreal, I know damn well who I’m picking to win…

youppi

Youppi is awesome. Oh…of course I’m picking GSP to win. He’s fighting Josh Koscheck. Who the hell am I supposed to pick there?

3. College Basketball: UNC-Greensboro @ Maryland (Wednesday 7:30pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Boston College @ Maryland (Sunday 4pm from Comcast Center live on Fox Sports Net-CSN locally in Charm City); Towson @ UMBC (Saturday 7pm RAC Arena); Towson @ George Washington (Wednesday 7pm Smith Center); Navy @ Coppin State (Tuesday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex), West Virginia Tech @ Coppin State (Saturday 4pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); Loyola @ George Mason (Wednesday 7pm from Patriot Center live on MASN), Mt. St. Mary’s @ Loyola (Saturday 4pm Reitz Arena)

I’m torn here. On one side, I’m very happy to see the start of ACC season. On the other side, the Terps’ loss to Temple in the BB&T Classic leaves me just a bit concerned.

I know this much. If I see ANY of you wearing this shirt this week, I might very well take a swing at you…

superfan

2. College Football: Army/Navy Game (Saturday 2:30pm from Philadelphia live on CBS); Heisman Trophy Presentation (Saturday 8pm from New York live on ESPN)

My ABSOLUTE favorite game of the year in any sport.

I doubt they’ll show this video up at Lincoln Financial Field Saturday, but if they did-I’m not sure how the Midshipmen COULDN’T be inspired…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nqKS7gmC444[/youtube]

1. NFL: Baltimore Ravens @ Houston Texans (Monday 8:30pm from Houston live on ESPN)

The Monday Night Football trip will be my first to Houston.

For anyone who has made the trip before, can you tell me anything about this place? I’m told I HAVE to hit it while I’m there…

feast

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 01 November 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Auto Racing-NASCAR AAA Texas 500 (Sunday 3pm from Fort Worth live on ESPN); College Soccer: William & Mary @ Maryland (Tuesday 7:30pm Ludwig Field), Coastal Carolina @ Maryland (Friday 7:30pm Ludwig Field); Boxing-Jimmy Lange vs. Joe Wyatt (Saturday 7pm Patriot Center); ShoBox-Edwin Rodriguez vs. James McGirt, Jr. (Friday 11pm from Fargo, North Dakota live on Showtime), Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Rafael Marquez/Allan Green vs. Glen Johnson (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime); Zab Judah vs. Lucas Matthysse (Saturday 11:15pm from Newark, NJ live on HBO); NHL: Toronto Maple Leafs @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet), Boston Bruins @ Washington Capitals (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet), Philadelphia Flyers @ Washington Capitals (Sunday 5pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet)

10. The Cult (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Little Big Town (Wednesday 7:30pm Rams Head Live), Wolf Parade (Friday 8pm Rams Head Live), Social Distortion (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), La Roux (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); All Mighty Senators (Saturday 8pm 8×10 Club); Phil Vassar (Sunday 7:30pm Rams Head On Stage); The Script (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Ra Ra Riot (Friday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Umphrey’s McGee (Friday & Saturday 10pm 9:30 Club); Blue Man Group (Tuesday-Friday 8pm, Saturday 2pm & 8pm, Sunday 1pm & 6:30pm Hippodrome), Interpol (Wednesday 7pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Kevin Hart (Friday 8pm & 10:30pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Bedouin Soundclash (Thursday 8:30pm Rock N Roll Hotel); Jaron And The Long Road To Leave (Thursday 8:30pm State Theatre), Soulive (Friday 9pm State Theatre); Daniel Tosh (Friday 7:30pm & 10:30pm Warner Theatre), Vince Vaughn & Kevin James (Monday 8pm Warner Theatre); Don McLean (Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere); Good Charlotte “Cardiology” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday), “Toy Story 3″ available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday), “Megamind” opens in theaters (Friday)

Not everyone likes country music. But I like country music. At least country music when Little Big Town is playing it…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-XfthjK-bk[/youtube]

Mike Ness is one of the toughest dudes on the face of the planet. I feel like not only could he play a gig with Social D in Charm City this weekend, but he could possibly play safety for the Ravens as well if Dawan Landry were to get hurt…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh8zcbC_Dcw[/youtube]

Some people think it isn’t very manly to be a fan of The Script. To those people I say, “why in the hell would you have thought I was manly otherwise?”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS9o1FAszdk[/youtube]

Drew Forrester and I are going to see Ra Ra Riot Friday night in DC. I’m planning on telling everyone that my grandfather actually does have fairly decent taste in music.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKkxXaeAhzY[/youtube]

9. World Championship Punkin Chunkin (Friday-Sunday Nassau, Delaware)

This is certainly outside the radius of what I would usually consider “local”, but it’s also awesome enough that I’m going to be forced to let it slide.

Seriously, how in the hell can you argue with an event like THIS?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpfGGWK46pc[/youtube]

8. Lingerie Football League: Orlando Fantasy @ Baltimore Charm (Friday 9pm 1st Mariner Arena)

I don’t consider myself an expert on the LFL by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel like it has to be somewhat disappointing that the Charm have been outscored 93-6 in their first two games of the year.

That being said, I still like it would be unfair to label the team as 0-2 for the season. Mostly because that would mean we’re labeling anyone involved with the LFL as losers…

lfl

7. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Turning Point” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

Mr. Anderson is facing Jeff Hardy at Turning Point for the strap. But that’s not what I’m most interested in. Instead, I’m much more interested in the match between the Motor City Machine Guns and Team 3D. Why? Because Team 3D is FREAKING AWESOME…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsWt_Gh-n9A[/youtube]

6. High School Football: Perry Hall @ Hereford (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ Chesapeake-Anne Arundel County (Friday 6:30pm)

As always, my PHHS Gators are coming off a blowout win (56-15 over Milford Mill) and Forrester’s Gophers are coming off a blowout loss (44-6 to North County).

But Hereford is always a tricky trip for my Gators. Which bothers me, because there is no team I want to beat more than the Bulls every season.

Why’s that?

Picture a 14 year old Glenn Clark sitting in front of window at 6am…staring out at a thin layer of snow/ice and listening to Dave Durian on WBAL…

“Baltimore County Schools…two hours late…”

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN’T DO ANY OF MY HOMEWORK LAST NIGHT AND I COULD REALLY USE ANOTHER 45 MINUTES OF SLEEP!!!!!!!

“…Hereford Zone only.”

WHAT?!?!?!?!? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So to my Gators…I don’t ask for much. But PLEASE. Win this for all of us who ever had to have our hearts broken by hearing the words “Hereford Zone only.”

Love, G.

5. NBA: Philadelphia 76ers @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ New York Knicks (Friday 7:30pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Cleveland Cavaliers @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

Since the ‘Zards appear to stink again this year, thank God Ted Leonsis and company have a favorable schedule. I mean, not even two weeks into the season and they’re already getting a visit from LeBron James and the Cavs!

Oh. No? Well at least they have other good things going on in DC. For example…

grossman

Oh Thank God for Rex Grossman. He couldn’t happen to a better group of A-holes.

4. College Basketball: 2K Sports Classic-Seattle @ Maryland (Monday 8pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Shepherd @ Loyola (Thursday 7pm Reitz Arena); Women’s College Basketball: Gallaudet @ Maryland (Tuesday 7pm Comcast Center), District of Columbia @ Maryland (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center)

Oh College Basketball how I love thee and how much I have missed thee.

Seriously-there are few things in life that I love HALF as much as I love College Basketball.

Off the top of my head, I’d say I love O.A.R., Chris Farley movies and Belgian Wheat beers as much as I love College Basketball. Nothing else.

Well….maybe this…

jello

3. College Football: Maryland @ Miami (Saturday 12pm from Miami live on ESPNU), Navy @ East Carolina (Saturday 3:30pm from Greenville, NC live on MASN)

Okay, I REALLY don’t think the Terrapins are that good.

I know they’re 6-2. I know they’re now 3-1 in the ACC. I know they just hung 62 points on Wake Forest. I know there’s a chance Jacory Harris might not play for the Hurricanes Saturday, and the ‘Canes just lost a game to effing Virginia ANYWAY.

I’m just still not convinced Ralph Friedgen’s Terps are THAT good. But I’ve been wrong before.

For example, I was told recently that there were some new pictures of a gal named Jarah Mariano that deserved a gander. My response was “I bet they’re not that great.”

I was wrong. (Thanks Guyism!)

jarah

2. Horse Racing: Breeders’ Cup (Friday 4pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 1:30pm live on ABC, Saturday 3:30pm live on ESPN. All racing from Louisville, KY)

I can’t believe I’m missing this.

There is NOTHING better than a big racing weekend at Churchill Downs.

Of course, I’m not so sure it’ll be quite the same without the Prince of Kentucky…

glennclark

1. NFL: Miami Dolphins @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 1pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on CBS)

It’s not that I’m NOT excited about the Ravens and Fins Sunday afternoon. Trust me, I’m PLENTY excited about it. It’s just that it’s hard to think about ANYTHING going on at “The Bank” right now as being even in the neighborhood of the importance of what will be going on there come June 22, 2011…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziOZCSBy4YE[/youtube]

FREAKING.YES.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 08 October 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Preseason NBA-Atlanta Hawks @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Milwaukee Bucks @ Washington Wizards (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet and NBA TV); Auto Racing: NASCAR Bank of America 500 (Saturday 7:30pm from Charlotte live on ABC); Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 120-Michael Bisping vs. Yoshihiro Akiyama (Saturday 7pm from London on SpikeTV)

10. Chelsea Handler (Friday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena); Seth Meyers (Saturday 8pm Patriot Center); Kevin Hart (Saturday 8pm & 11pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall); Halloween Hootenanny feat. Rob Zombie & Alice Cooper (Sunday 3pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Aaron Lewis (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live); Stephen Kellogg & The Sixers (Wednesday 7:30pm Recher Theatre); Pharoahe Monch (Sunday 8pm Sonar); The Ataris (Monday 8pm Ottobar); Days of the New (Friday 7pm Bourbon Street); Victor Wooten (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Blood, Sweat & Tears (Wednesday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head On Stage), Jackie Greene (Thursday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Bone Thugs-n-Harmony (Wednesday 10pm 9:30 Club), Pepper (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club), Sara Bareilles (Monday 7:30pm 9:30 Club); Craig Ferguson (Saturday 7pm Warner Theatre); Darius Rucker “Charleston, SC 1966″ available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Alice Cooper still plays music? I thought he was just a golfer nowadays?!? I’ll probably miss his show, but it’s not because Rob Zombie doesn’t kick ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqQuihD0hoI[/youtube]

I was never the biggest Staind fan, but I’d be down to hear Aaron Lewis channel Eddie Vedder for sure…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sumiU0u2J9s[/youtube]

It’s been a long time since Bone Thugs was relevant, but after doing some research, they’re still pretty freaking good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AsBV-P9gIC0[/youtube]

Make fun of me all you want, but I’ve already pre-ordered Darius Rucker’s disc on iTunes. It is what it is…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ap7HzFlOXq4[/youtube]

9. Jackass 3D in theaters (Friday)

This is what a comedy is supposed to be all about. Forget about a plot, forget about a compelling storyline, and for god sakes don’t try to tie it up with some sort of feel good story. Just punch each other in the nuts and let me laugh, damnit…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKwjU_pSSW4[/youtube]

8. Baltimore Beer Week: Blues & Brews Festival (Friday 7pm 8×10 Club), Chesapeake Real Ale Festival (Saturday 1pm Pratt Street Ale House), Baltimore Beer Festival (Sunday 12pm Canton Waterfront Park)

If I could, I would attend all of these events. Seriously. I knew this is going to sound crazy to most of you, but these are the two things I love the most. Charm City…and Beer.

For those of you who have asked (and I thank you for considering me an expert!), here are my Top 3 pumpkin-based brews in honor of the Fall.

5-Blue Moon Pumpkin Ale

bluemoonpumpkin

4-Michelob Jack’s Pumpkin Spice Ale

jackspumpkin

3-Brooklyn Brewery Post Road Pumpkin Ale

postroad

2-Four Peaks Pumpkin Porter

porter

1-Dogfish Head Punkin Ale

punkinale

7. Boxing: Antonio Tarver vs. Nagy Aguilera (Friday 11pm from Miami, Oklahoma live on Showtime), WBC Heavyweight Championship-Shannon Briggs vs. Vitali Klitschko (Saturday 5pm from Hamburg, Germany live on ESPN3.com), Lucian Bute vs. Jesse Brinkley (Friday 9:30pm from Montreal live on ESPN3.com)

Shannon Briggs is fighting Vitali Klitschko for the WBC Heavyweight title. Yes, this is the same belt previously held by Lennox Lewis, Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield, Riddick Bowe, Larry Holmes, Ken Norton and Muhammad Ali.

Of course, it was also held by Buster Douglas and Hasim Rahman, but even they had to beat a legitimate champion to become champion. I’m pretty sure at this point we’re not far from seeing Joey Buttafuoco get a title shot…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuLWWDoN85E[/youtube]

6. High School Football: Glen Burnie @ Old Mill (Friday 6:30pm), Franklin @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm)

So I screwed up. Last Friday was NOT PHHS’s Homecoming game. I was given bad information by Barry Aparicio-who is now my roommate. A-hole.

It was particularly embarrassing when I called Gators Athletic Director Kathy Graybeal and asked her for passes to the game. (Umm…Glenn…the Homecoming game is NEXT week. MY BAD!)

There’s good news in all of this however. The good news is that I never got an answer from Daniela Pane about my Homecoming date proposal last week…

dpane

(Edit from GMC: Daniela is the person in the picture who WASN’T in the movie “Revenge of the Nerds.” Yes…the hot one.)

Here’s the deal. Daniela Pane (who is appearing in an upcoming episode of “1000 Ways to Die” on SpikeTV) is the second most talented, second most successful, second best-looking member of Perry Hall’s graduating class of 2001. I’d tell you who was first, but you already know it’s spelled “Glenn Clark.”

So Daniela, you have another week to consider my offer. I think we’d be a fantastic Homecoming couple. Boomer Sooner’s sister is in town, so she’s busy. Plus…she’d understand? Maybe not? You know, let’s worry about that some other time. The point is…the offer is on the table. I know you live in California, but it’s Friday night. You have until then to get home. No pressure.

5. NHL: New York Islanders @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet and VERSUS), Washington Capitals @ Nashville Predators (Saturday 8pm from Nashville live on Comcast SportsNet)

The Capitals played some games last weekend…blah blah blah here’s the deal. I want this Phoenix Coyotes jersey. Who wants to buy it for me???

yotes

It’s only $150. Just get it now.

4. Soccer: Team USA vs. Columbia (Tuesday 8pm from Chester, PA live on ESPN2); MLS-DC United @ Chicago Fire (Saturday 4pm from Chicago live on Comcast SportsNet); College Soccer: Clemson @ Maryland (Saturday 7pm Ludwig Field); Boston University @ UMBC (Friday 8pm from UMBC Stadium live on Fox Soccer Channel)

This one is going to be tough. I love America, we all know that. But Sofia Vergara (of “Modern Family” fame) is from Columbia…

sofia

3. College Basketball: Maryland Madness (Friday 7:45pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet) Maryland Media Day (Thursday Comcast Center)

Should the Terrapins still be holding Midnight Madness at…you know…midnight…in order to honor the fact that the whole event STARTED with Lefty Driesell in College Park? I think so, but no one pays me to think. Thank God for that.

The problem is…we’ve got a lot of other very important things going on in College Park at midnight on Friday night…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReFjlhFgHAE[/youtube]

Wasn’t what you were expecting, was it?

2. College Football: Maryland @ Clemson (Saturday 12pm from Clemson, SC live on ACC Network-WJZ 13 in Charm City), SMU @ Navy (Saturday 3:45pm from Navy-Marine Corps Stadium live on CBS College Sports)

My 12th grade journalism teacher went to Clemson. I didn’t like the Tigers then, and I certainly don’t like them now. Howard’s Rock? More like, take that stupid rock and hit someone upside the head with it, am I right?

Wait…what’s that you say???

clemson

Don’t try….

1. NFL: Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patriots (Sunday 1pm from Foxborough live on CBS)

Think it’s about time for another trip to Gillette Stadium, huh?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xEmhF9oPMc[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 05 October 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Preseason NBA-Washington Wizards @ Dallas Mavericks (Tuesday 8:30pm from Dallas live on Comcast SportsNet); Auto Racing-NASCAR Pepsi 400 (Sunday 3pm from Fontana, CA live on ESPN)

10. Slayer/Anthrax/Megadeth (Wednesday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena), So You Think You Can Dance (Tuesday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Roger Waters (Sunday 8pm Verizon Center); Hank Williams Jr. (Saturday 7pm Patriot Center), Gorillaz & N.E.R.D. (Monday 7:30pm Patriot Center); Mary J. Blige (Thursday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); Sister Hazel (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Skillet/Papa Roach/Trapt (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), The Roots (Friday 9pm Rams Head Live); Fools & Horses (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); LA Guns (Friday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); K’Naan (Sunday 8pm 9:30 Club); Pete Yorn (Wednesday 8pm Black Cat); Bob Saget (Friday 8pm Warner Theatre)

I don’t think it’s quite worth a drive to Fairfax; but I sure as hell wouldn’t mind seeing Hank Jr. play “Family Tradition”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyDie_4dOdU[/youtube]

I’m definitely making it down to PPL Friday Night. Sister Hazel was part of the soundtrack to my adolescence…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv1-wnyhmhQ[/youtube]

The Roots aren’t bringing John Legend with them to Rams Head Live, but I’m sure they’ll still figure out a way to kick some ass anyway…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji6kQl71TYU[/youtube]

I met Fools & Horses at Bill Bateman’s in Towson a few weeks ago. Turns out I once introduced them at the HFStival at Merriweather Post Pavilion. I felt bad. They’re good. Go see them…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5spGWsyEYdg[/youtube]

9. High School Football: Woodlawn @ Perry Hall (Friday 6:30pm), Arundel @ Glen Burnie (Friday 6:30pm)

Friday night is Homecoming at PHHS, which means I’m once again in the awkward position of needing to find a date. “Boomer Sooner” is going to visit a friend in North Carolina this weekend (And before any of you amateur comedians asks-No, I don’t know what his name is); so I’m scrambling for a Homecoming date. This is 11th grade all over again.

The thing is, I think I know who I’m gonna ask…

daniela

Daniela Pane, will you be my Homecoming date?

(Edit from GMC: I’M SO NERVOUS!!!!)

8. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce-Nick Diaz vs. KJ Noons II (Saturday 10pm from San Jose live on Showtime)

With no offense to the many talented MMA fighters who are participating in the event Saturday night, every time I see that Strikeforce is putting a card on, there’s only one thing I’m concerned about.

IS GINA CARANO FIGHTING?!?!?!?

carano

The answer is “no” this week. Because the answer is “no”, I’ll admit that I’m not quite as excited…

7. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Bound For Glory” (Sunday 8pm from Daytona Beach, FL live on Pay-Per-View)

Usually I post a picture of some hot wrestling gal here and say something like “Here’s a good reason to get the TNA PPV Sunday night.” Instead, I think Jeff Hardy is a hell of a reason to get the TNA PPV Sunday night…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVDdMHa9BbI[/youtube]

6. Soccer: Team USA Women vs. China (Wednesday 7pm from Chester, PA live on ESPN2), Team USA vs. Poland (Saturday 8pm from Chicago live on Fox Soccer Channel); MLS-San Jose Earthquakes @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS & MLS Direct Kick); College Soccer: UConn @ Maryland (Tuesday 7:30pm Ludwig Field); Manhattan @ Loyola (Friday 7pm Ridley Athletic Complex), St. Peter’s @ Loyola (Sunday 1pm Ridley Athletic Complex)

This is tough for me. I’m CLEARLY going to pull for the American women during their showdown up in Philly, but I will admit that it is tough for me to root against a country that gave us Orange Chicken…

orangechicken

5. “Secretariat” in theaters (Friday)

Boomer Sooner and I went over to Arundel Mills the other night to check this flick out. It’s good-especially for a Disney movie. Not “Remember The Titans” good, but certainly “We Are Marshall” good.

A couple of things though. One-Is it just me, or does Diane Lane somehow just keep getting hotter as she gets older???

dianelane

2-I’m very happy that Laurel rider Grant Whitacre got a role in the flick, he did a solid job in limited time on-camera. But the real question is-how did Glenn Clark NOT get a role in the movie??? I COMPLETELY look the part!!!!

glennclark

4. Maryland Oktoberfest (Saturday 12pm Timonium Fairgrounds); Baltimore Beer Week Opening Tap Celebration (Thursday 6pm Baltimore Museum of Industry)

GLOR.I.OUS.

germangirls
beers
sausage

3. College Football: Navy @ Wake Forest (Saturday 6:30pm from Winston-Salem live on ESPN3.com), James Madison @ Towson (Saturday 7pm Unitas Stadium), Dickinson @ Johns Hopkins (Friday 7pm Homewood Field)

So if Towson can somehow beat JMU…who beat Virginia Tech…who beat NC State…who beat Cincinnati…who has a chance to beat West Virginia…who beat Maryland…who beat Duke…who beat Butler when Gordon Hayward missed that shot…does that mean that the Tigers would somehow be the transitive NCAA Basketball Champions?!?!?

Would look pretty impressive on Rob Ambrose’s resume…

2. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Atlanta Thrashers (Friday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on Comcast SportsNet), New Jersey Devils @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Ottawa Senators @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

The NHL is back for real Friday night. Make your plans accordingly. Mine will probably involve a significant amount of Moosehead and a Saturday afternoon of screaming at my TV while the Phoenix Coyotes face the Boston Bruins in Prague on VERSUS. Just don’t bother me during that stretch.

Would any of you weirdo Caps fans be interested in a trip to Arizona to for the game against the Desert Dogs on Valentine’s Day?

Trust me, it would beat your other Valentine’s Day plans…

underwear

1. NFL: Denver Broncos @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 1pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on CBS)

This is a bit of a tricky situation. I mean, we all know I’ll be FULLY behind the Ravens on Sunday; but if Kyle Orton gets hurt-it could pain me.

I mean, how in the hell do you root against THIS GUY?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-qodBTlMtA[/youtube]

I mean, Tim Tebow really does do God’s work. He helped Florida beat Oklahoma in the BCS Championship Game. What more can you ask for in the world???

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 27 September 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts: WEC-Jose Aldo vs. Manny Gamburyan (Thursday 9pm from Broomfield, CO live on VERSUS), Bellator Fighting Championships 31 (Thursday 8pm from Lake Charles, LA live on Fox Sports Net); NBA: Washington Wizards Training Camp Midnight Tip-Off (Tuesday 12am Patriot Center), Washington Wizards Fan Fest (Sunday 11am Patriot Center); High School Football: Glen Burnie @ Broadneck (Friday 6:30pm), Perry Hall @ Kenwood (Friday 7pm); Auto Racing: NASCAR Price Chopper 400 (Sunday 1pm from Kansas City, Kansas live on ESPN), IndyCar Series Cafes do Brasil Indy 300 (Saturday 6pm from Homestead-Miami live on VERSUS); NHL: Boston Bruins @ Washington Capitals (Tuesday 7pm Verizon Center), Columbus Blue Jackets @ Washington Capitals (Friday 7pm Verizon Center), Nashville Predators @ Washington Capitals (Sunday 12:30pm Verizon Center); Capitals Convention 2010 (Saturday 12pm Washington Convention Center)

10. Godsmack (Sunday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Jason DeRulo (Friday 8pm Rams Head Live); Wale (Friday 9pm Sonar); Marc Cohn (Wednesday 6pm & 9pm Rams Head On Stage), Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (Sunday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Sheryl Crow (Wednesday 8pm Strathmore); Leon Redbone (Friday 7pm Silver Spring Performing Arts Center); Drake (Saturday 8pm Sunday 7pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); James Otto (Saturday 12pm Laurel Park); They Might Be Giants (Saturday 6pm Millennium Stage); One Night One Show One Cause feat. Derek Trucks & Susan Tedeschi Band (Sunday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); Jimmy Eat World “Invented” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

A few things I like here. First of all, Jason DeRulo will be dismissed by some as a “Flavor of the Day” type R&B/Pop Star. There’s some truth to that, but he’s a little bit better than that…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ESdn0MuJWQ[/youtube]

Wale and Drake are both amongst the brightest stars in hip-hop right now. Drake has certainly benefited from having Lil’ Wayne as a mentor…(Language NSFW, unless you work for Young Money. If you do, tell Nicki Minaj I said hello!)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Fo9akQvsNI[/youtube]

I’m going to admit here that while I don’t think it would ever lead me to buy tickets to a Redbone show…there’s NOTHING I like more than “Come Get Your Love”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0QK5ud1DZo[/youtube]

Go see Derek Trucks. I repeat. Go see Derek Trucks.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrB-tTKxY6w[/youtube]

9. “Iron Man 2″ available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday), “Get Him To The Greek” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday), “Family Guy: Partial Terms of Endearment” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday); “The Social Network” opens in theaters (Friday)

I like all of these things.

1-I want to be Tony Stark. More than anything in the world…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6o1wind1iUc[/youtube]

2-”Get Him to the Greek” was not “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”, but it was pretty frickin’ good. (Language NSFW-ish. And by “ish” I mean, yeah, you probably shouldn’t watch this if language is an issue where you work. I should probably be more direct…)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKac-fd8iyw[/youtube]

I fully understand why FOX didn’t let the episode on TV, but “Partial Terms of Endearment” looks pretty funny…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KwDOaCgYdE[/youtube]

Maybe it has a lot to do with “Power” by Kanye West being in the trailer (and the fact that the flick was filmed at JHU); but I’m REALLY looking forward to seeing the Facebook movie. It looks pretty good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppamk0iTCQ8[/youtube]

8. Chick-Fil-A Spicy Nuggets giveaway (Tuesday-Saturday at all area Chick-Fil-A locations including Chick-Fil-A Nottingham Square)

I’ve “broken” a few stories in my day, but I will admit that none have been particularly earth shattering. I mean, Mark Viviano broke the news that the Cleveland Browns were moving to Charm City. Until I do something like that, I know my competition.

But for once in my life, I feel like I finally have a major…MAJOR…news story I can break.

Chick-Fil-A is of course rolling out their new Spicy Nuggets this week, and at first they will be rolling them out with a ranch dipping sauce. BUT-sources have confirmed to WNST.net’s Glenn Clark that they will ALSO be rolling out a blue cheese dipping sauce within weeks to go along with them.

I’ll have more on this developing story as it becomes available. Make sure you stay tuned to Glenn Clark’s blog for ALL of your late-breaking Chick-Fil-A news!

You see, I knew I had a major breaking news story in me…

7. Soccer: MLS-DC United @ Colorado Rapids (Saturday 9pm from Commerce City, Colorado live on MLS Direct Kick); College Soccer: Duke @ Maryland (Friday 8pm from Ludwig Field live on Fox Soccer Channel); EA Sports FIFA 11 available for Playstation 3/XBox360/Wii (Tuesday)

It pleases me that Maryland is playing Duke in both soccer AND football this weekend. You see, I despise the Blue Devils-so this is right up my alley. Do you despise the Blue Devils? If not, you’re a bad person. (I’m looking at you, Chad Lamasa!)

As an aside, I LOVE FIFA. Seriously, my freshman year of college was half wasted playing FIFA with my roommate-the great Matt Saenz. That wasn’t all we did though. We also did more productive things…

beer

6. Horse Racing: Jim McKay Maryland Million Day (Saturday 12:35pm Laurel Park)

It’s hard to get anyone excited about Horse Racing in the Old Line State during football season; but this really IS the 3rd best day of racing all year, and certainly the best day of the year to be at Laurel Park.

Now, if Laurel Park REALLY wants to attract a crowd on Maryland Million Day (and also honor the great Jim McKay in the process), I really think they should consider going with one of the sport’s great voices as track announcer Saturday…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxdK9xANQZA[/youtube]

5. Pro Wrestling: WWE “Hell in a Cell” (Sunday 8pm from Dallas live on Pay-Per-View)

Kane is scheduled to face The Undertaker Sunday night in a big Hell in a Cell matchup. Whatever happens, it probably won’t be as memorable for Kane as the whole Triple H/Katie Vick incident. WEIRD…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1ZDwSNdi0Y[/youtube]

4. Lingerie Football League: Tampa Breeze @ Baltimore Charm (Friday 9pm 1st Mariner Arena)

Sure, the Baltimore Charm fell 60-6 to the Philadelphia Passion in the first game in franchise history-but-uh-does anyone REALLY care about the results in these games?

I mean, with no offense…

Also, in perusing the interwebs for more information about the LFL team, I found out that former Maxim model Rachel Kagay tried out for the team. So the question is…did she make it? This is very important…

kagay

3. Golf: Ryder Cup (Friday 2:30am live on ESPN, Saturday 8am Sunday 7am live on NBC. All golf from Newport, Wales); Champions Tour Ensure Classic at Rock Barn (Friday-Sunday 2pm from Conover, NC live on Golf Channel)

Apparently this is some sort of big deal. I’d tell you more about it but I just don’t know. Apparently there are players in the thing named Francesco Molinari and Edoardo Molinari.

Interestingly enough, I prefer the Edoardo Molinari when I’m at Amicci’s in Little Italy.

If they manage to win the thing, I hope the party looks like it did in 1999. That’s the only way I’d care…

tiger

2. College Football: Duke @ Maryland (Saturday 6pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPN3.com), Navy @ Air Force (Saturday 2:30pm from Colorado Springs live on VERSUS), UMass @ Towson (Saturday 7pm Unitas Stadium), Bethune-Cookman @ Morgan State (Saturday 4pm Hughes Stadium), Muhlenberg @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 2pm Homewood Field)

I have two simple words for you.

Duck Fuke.

1. NFL: Baltimore Ravens @ Pittsburgh Steelers (Sunday 1pm from Pittsburgh live on CBS)

In fairness, I get MORE excited for Steelers week when Ben Roethlisberger is playing.

I met a Steelers fan at Looney’s in Bel Air over the summer. When I was introduced to her, I said “so is it mom, or do you go ahead with ‘Aunt Mom’”???

stillers

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 21 September 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Soccer-NASL: Portland Timbers @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 4pm Paul Angelo Russo Stadium-Calvert Hall); MLS-Houston Dynamo @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet); NBA-Washington Wizards Pep Rally (Monday 10pm Presidents Park)

10. Virgin Mobile FreeFest feat. Ludacris, T.I., Joan Jett, M.I.A., Jimmy Eat World, Temper Trap (Saturday 12pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Sunday In The Country feat. Lady Antebellum, Eric Church, Joe Nichols (Sunday 2pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Casey Cares Foundation Bash feat. Night Ranger (Saturday 6:30pm Rams Head Live); Broken Lizard Live (Friday 9pm Recher Theatre), Laughing Colors (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); Anti-Flag (Tuesday 8pm Ottobar); Shooter Jennings (Saturday 8pm 8×10 Club); Big Head Todd and the Monsters (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club); WMZQ Fall Fest feat. Sugarland, Little Big Town (Saturday 4pm Jiffy Lube Live); Alice In Chains (Sunday 7pm Patriot Center); !!! (Wednesday 8pm Black Cat); Lewis Black (Thursday-Saturday 8pm Warner Theatre); Macy Gray (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Zac Brown Band “You Get What You Give” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday), John Legend & The Roots “Wake Up” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday), Maroon 5 “Hands All Over” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Despite the fact that Pavement and Thievery Corporation do nothing for me, I am REALLY excited about the bill at VirginFest. Especially the (particularly underrated) Temper Trap…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4C8e7nNLZNs[/youtube]

I have no idea if I’m going to make it down to Columbia for VirginFest, but I KNOW I’m getting to Columbia on Sunday for WPOC’s event after the Ravens beat the Browns; mostly because “Boomer Sooner” and I happen to really dig the new Lady Antebellum tune…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QaOKbvpxnTo[/youtube]

BROKEN LIZARD LIVE?!?!? How can I possibly not be in Towson Friday night? Super Troopers? Beerfest? Might be NSFW, but also amazing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SOsPCL4hXw[/youtube]

It’s very difficult logistically to get to Washington to see Lewis Black, but it would certainly be worth it. You can bring grandma, the language is right up her alley. Just NSFW…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mCDZMWVWuc[/youtube]

I saw Zac Brown Band 3 times this summer (Preakness and two Dave Matthews Band shows), so I’ve heard a lot of their new record. I really dig “Settle Me Down”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRD-MyRS8KU[/youtube]

9. “30 Rock” season premiere (Thursday 8:30pm NBC), “The Office” season premiere (Thursday 9pm NBC); “Modern Family” season premiere (Wednesday 9pm ABC); “The Simpsons” season premiere (Sunday 8pm FOX), “The Cleveland Show” season premiere (Sunday 8:30pm FOX), “Family Guy” season premiere (Sunday 9pm FOX)

All of these shows are hilarious.  I give you Alec Baldwin and Tracy Morgan…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTj47rcuM-4[/youtube]

And while a bit played out, Jim & Pam’s wedding from “The Office” is pretty strong…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX7iwwB9zQ4[/youtube]

I just got into “Modern Family” last season. This is my mistake…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaPKYd2XujY[/youtube]

I have no idea if The Simpsons have this awesome of an intro to go to again; but I can certainly hope…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=faRlFsYmkeY[/youtube]

Apparently The Cleveland Show is bringing Kanye West back this season. Was pretty good last year…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWjqEgDymus[/youtube]

And my favorite clip in Family Guy history??? “Who wants CHOWDER?!?!?”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4eYSpIz2FjU[/youtube]

8. Baltimore Book Festival (Friday-Sunday 12pm Mt. Vernon Place)

I’m not much of a bookworm, but I know some other folks who are. Myself, I might stop by the Festival. Why? Have you heard who’s going to be there???

ventura

7. NHL: Washington Capitals Training Camp scrimmage (Tuesday 12pm Kettler Capitals IcePlex)

The Caps are also playing a couple of preseason games at Columbus and Nashville this week; but there’s no TV so I didn’t include them.

I’m not one to “Rock The Red”, but I will admit that I’m happy to have hockey back for two reasons.

One…Carrie Underwood is now married to a hockey player…Mike Fisher from the Ottawa Senators. The more we see of her, the better…

underwood

Two…it’s time to HOWL!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdlGBJj1jzE[/youtube]

6. High School Football: Parkville @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ Northeast (Friday 6:30pm)

I know we got worked over a bit by Tuscarora last week, but there’s NO CHANCE the Gators could possibly lose to the Knights, is there???

If so, I think I should probably wander over to PHHS with another great Perry Hall alum to give a stern pep talk…

melewski

5. Auto Racing: NASCAR AAA 400 (Sunday 1pm from Dover live on ESPN)

Since you’re gonna be in Delaware, might as well throw down a few bets while you’re there. For example, I’d bet on Jimmie Johnson to win the car race. I don’t know anything about it, but he wins a lot.

I’d also bet on West Virginia against LSU Saturday. Just have a hunch.

Oh…and I’d also bet on Randy Orton against Sheamus at Hell in a Cell. I mean, the guy once took out Triple H AND Ric Flair within moments…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rXrBPvIck3M[/youtube]

4. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs The Tour Championship (Thursday & Friday 1pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 10am live on Golf Channel 12pm live on NBC, Sunday 11:30am live on Golf Channel, 1:30pm live on NBC. All golf from Atlanta); Champions Tour SAS Championship (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm on Golf Channel. All golf from Cary, NC)

Apparently the TOUR Championship has some sort of significance. For me, it’s the significance that Drew Forrester won’t be able to talk about golf on “The Morning Reaction” anymore. That IS significant.

You know what else is significant? The uniforms Team USA will wear for the Ryder Cup…

rydercup

Snazzy. Almost as snazzy as a uniform I saw at another major sporting event earlier this year…

glennclark

3. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 119-Frank Mir vs. Mirko Cro Cop (Saturday 10pm from Indianapolis live on Pay-Per-View); Bellator Fighting Championships 30 (Thursday 7pm from Louisville live on Fox Sports Net)

Indianapolis, huh? Home of “the best dang football team in the whole USA”? Hope Dana White and company say hello to Merton while they’re in “The Friendly Heart of the Midwest.”

Also, do I know why UFC Magazine included a photo shoot with Holly Madison? I do not. Do I care? Of course I don’t. (Thanks Guyism!)

hollymadison

2. College Football: Florida International @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU)

I’m not sure Isaiah Thomas’ boys are quite ready for a showdown with the Terps just yet. Not them? Oh.

In other college football action this week, Boise State is hosting Oregon State Saturday night. To prepare for the trip to Boise, the folks in Beavers country had a unique idea…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vcA_vgImHQ[/youtube]

I’m moving into a new house next Thursday. I will be doing this there.

1. NFL: Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 1pm from M&T Bank  Stadium live on CBS-WJZ 13 locally)

A retro classic…

chickfila

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 06 July 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-Auto Racing: NASCAR LifeLock.com 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Chicago live on TNT); WNBA All-Star Game (Saturday 3:30pm from Mohegan Sun, CT live on ESPN)

10. Frankie Beverly & MAZE (Saturday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion), Counting Crows (Monday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Lynyrd Skynyrd/Bret Michaels/38 Special (Friday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Tim McGraw (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Sting (Sunday 8pm Jiffy Lube Live); Pietasters & All Mighty Senators (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Smashing Pumpkins (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Josh Thompson (Saturday 8pm Power Plant Live), Donavon Frankenreiter (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); “Despicable Me” in theaters (Friday)

Well, I’m going to need tickets to the Counting Crows Monday night. I don’t care how I get them, but someone is going to have to take care of me here. Adam Duritz is NOT coming to town with me missing it. Figure out amongst yourselves who is going to take care of the tickets for me and let me know.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXI7tRWmZ9w[/youtube]

I’m well aware that Skynyrd isn’t nearly the same; but I’d be all for chewing some tobacco, grabbing my confederate flag, and rocking out… (Editor’s Note: I will NOT be doing either of the first two things on that list.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygausyezIOc[/youtube]

It’s fitting that I just back from Chicago, because the Smashing Pumpkins are also from Chicago. The two are in no ways related, but I had nothing else prepared here. Here’s Tonight Tonight. We’ll talk later.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAS6daVLT5U[/youtube]

9. Lacrosse: MLL All-Star Game (Thursday 7pm from Boston live on ESPN2), Boston Cannons @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3)

You mean to tell me they’re playing a lacrosse all-star game in BOSTON?

Why not just hold next year’s Purple Camo convention in Beantown too???

camos

What do we have left in Charm City?!?!?!?

8. NBA Summer League: Utah Jazz vs. Orlando Magic (Tuesday 1pm), Charlotte Bobcats vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Tuesday 3pm), Philadelphia 76ers vs. Boston Celtics (Tuesday 5pm), Indiana Pacers vs. New Jersey Nets (Tuesday 7pm), Charlotte Bobcats vs. Boston Celtics (Wednesday 1pm), Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Philadelphia 76ers (Wednesday 3pm), New Jersey Nets vs. Orlando Magic (Wednesday 5pm), Indiana Pacers vs. Utah Jazz (Wednesday 7pm), Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Orlando Magic (Thursday 1pm), Indiana Pacers vs. Boston Celtics (Thursday 3pm), Utah Jazz vs. New Jersey Nets (Thursday 5pm), Philadelphia 76ers vs. Charlotte Bobcats (Thursday 7pm), Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Indiana Pacers (Friday 8am), Philadelphia 76ers vs. Utah Jazz (Friday 10am), New Jersey Nets vs. Boston Celtics (Friday 12pm), Charlotte Bobcats vs. Orlando Magic (Friday 2pm….all games from Orlando live on NBA TV); Denver Nuggets vs. Dallas Mavericks (Friday 4pm), Houston Rockets vs. Phoenix Suns (Friday 6pm), Detroit Pistons vs. Los Angeles Lakers (Friday 8pm), Golden State Warriors vs. New Orleans Hornets (Friday 10pm), Toronto Raptors vs. Phoenix Suns (Saturday 4pm), LA Lakers vs. Denver Nuggets (Saturday 6pm), Detroit Pistons vs. Golden State Warriors (Saturday 8pm), Miami Heat vs. New Orleans Hornets (Saturday 10pm), New York Knicks vs. Denver Nuggets (Sunday 4pm), Portland Trailblazers vs. Houston Rockets (Sunday 6pm), Washington Wizards vs. Golden State Warriors (Sunday 8pm), Miami Heat vs. New Orleans Hornets (Sunday 10pm), LA Lakers vs. New York Knicks (Monday 4pm), Sacramento Kings vs. Detroit Pistons (Monday 6pm), Dallas Mavericks vs. Milwaukee Bucks (Monday 8pm), Washington Wizards vs. LA Clippers (Monday 10pm….all games from Las Vegas live on NBA TV)

Dude…we should TOTALLY go to Vegas…and watch Eric Hayes play some basketball games that have the intensity of your average backyard pickup contest.

Oh, and free agency OFFICIALLY starts this week. You know, AFTER it officially started last week. In fairness, I’d honest to God rather hear daily LeBron James rumors than Kevin Millwood DL rumors. Credit to Mike Polk for this gem that I apologize for not posting before today…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bme-BAnCbXk[/youtube]

7. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Victory Road” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

Velvet Sky is part of TNA. Maybe you should consider watching…

velvet

6. Cycling: Tour De France (Tuesday-Friday 8:30am, Saturday & Sunday 7:30am from France live on VERSUS)

You know, I had thought about getting into cycling growing up. Yep, right up until my first one of these…

kneescrape

But now, if you’re interested in a stationary bike battle, I know just the guy for you. Yep. My roommate (“The Luckiest Dang Roommate on the Face of the Planet”). Don’t bother asking me. If it doesn’t involve Kettle Chips and a big screen TV, I’m not interested.

5. Golf: PGA Tour John Deere Classic (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS; all golf from Silvis, Illinois), LPGA U.S. Women’s Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on ESPN, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Oakmont, PA)

In case you weren’t aware; Oakmont is a suburb of Pittsburgh. However, it is not the first time the women of the LPGA have stopped by. It’s just that the last time, they were trying to escape from Ben Roethlisberger…

bigben

4. Boxing: Jimmy Lange vs. Jimmy LeBlanc (Saturday 7:30pm Patriot Center), Mike Jones vs. Irving Garcia (Friday 11pm from Atlantic City live on Showtime), Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Bernabe Concepcion (Saturday 10pm from Hato Rey, Puerto Rico live on Showtime)

I won’t be attending Jimmy Lange’s fight Saturday night. Not because I don’t love Jimmy Lange, but more because Fairfax is near DC. I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but I’m not too popular in that part of the world these days. HOWEVER, if Jimmy Lange were fighting MATT LeBlanc, I’d be there in a second.  Ol’ “Joey” is still owed an ass-kicking for getting 7 bucks from me for this…

ed

Oh yeah, and while I’m at it….some dude named Mike Jones is fighting this weekend. Please indulge me…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd0S0LwhEDU[/youtube]

And while we’re on the hip-hop topic, I have yet to learn how to “Dougie.” Can anyone help me with this???

3. College Basketball: Baltimore NCAA Summer League (Tuesday-Thursday 6:30pm Reitz Arena)

Morgan State’s Kevin Thompson and Missouri’s Kimmie English are amongst the college players already committed to participating in the tournament over at Loyola.  I’d go play myself, but apparently they use the WHOLE court. I’m better with just the basket and the automatic returner. Of course, I’m not quite as good as the guy Jimmy Kimmel found hanging out…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmEhHOQgK_Y[/youtube]

2. Indoor Football: AIFA Eastern Conference Championship Game- Harrisburg Stampede @ Baltimore Mariners (Saturday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena); AFL-Tampa Bay Storm @ Dallas Vigilantes (Friday 7:30pm from Dallas live on NFL Network)

Here’s what we know. Harrisburg sucks. I mean, how can you root for a team in the same town that freaking Sccop Stanisic played in?

Plus, the Mariners are undefeated. There’s NO WAY a team can go undefeated and then fall short of a title…

tyree

1. Soccer-World Cup: Uruguay vs. Netherlands (Tuesday 2:30pm from Cape Town, South Africa live on ESPN), Germany vs. Spain (Wednesday 2:30pm from Durban, South Africa live on ESPN), 3rd place match (Saturday 2:30pm from Port Elizabeth, South Africa live on ABC), World Cup Final (Sunday 2:30pm from Johannesburg, South Africa live on ABC); MLS: DC United @ New York Red Bulls (Saturday 7:30pm from Harrison, New Jersey live on Comcast SportsNet & MLS Direct Kick)

Uruguay gave us the Parrillada…

parrillada

The Dutch gave us goofy shoes…

shoes

The Germans gave us Lederhosen…

lederhosen

And the Spanish gave us her…

spanish

So clearly, anything short of Spain-Paraguay Sunday would be totally unacceptable.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 17 May 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-MMA: UWC 8 (Saturday 7pm Patriot Center), Strikeforce Challengers: Matt Lindland vs. Kevin Casey (Friday 11pm from Portland, OR live on Showtime); Boxing: Israel Vasquez vs. Rafael Marquez (Saturday 10pm live from Los Angeles live on Showtime); WNBA: New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Friday 7pm Verizon Center); Golf: PGA Tour HP Byron Nelson Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Irving, TX) LPGA Sybase Match Play Championship (Thursday & Friday 1pm, Saturday & Sunday 2pm from Gladstone, NJ live on Golf Channel); IIHF World Ice Hockey Championships (Semi-finals Saturday, Finals Sunday from Cologne, Germany live on Universal Sports); “MacGruber” and “Shrek Forever After” open in theaters (Friday), “Invictus” available on DVD & Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

10. Bamboozle Road Show feat. Good Charlotte and All Time Low (Saturday 3pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Insane Clown Posse, Kottonmouth Kings & Coolio (Thursday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Brad Paisley & Darius Rucker (Saturday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); B-52′s (Saturday 8pm Rams Head Live); Nicki Minaj (Saturday 9pm Sonar); Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds (Thursday 7:30pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Neil Young (Monday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Jimmy Fallon (Saturday 8pm Warner Theatre); DC101 Chili Cookoff feat. Stone Temple Pilots, Alice In Chains and Cage The Elephant (Saturday 12:30pm RFK Stadium); Chesapeake Bay Blues Festival feat. Buddy Guy and Chuck Berry (Saturday & Sunday all day Sandy Point State Park); Anthony Bourdain & Eric Ripert (Saturday 8pm France-Merrick Performing Arts Theatre)

Or what I want to call the strangest clusterf*ck of live shows to ever hit Charm City and the surrounding areas.

Seriously, Coolio is playing a show in Baltimore this week. Did any of you know Coolio was still performing? Alive??? I’m not hating either. Coolio kicked ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-7o4A80TlI[/youtube]

A lot of people don’t like Good Charlotte. Don’t count me among them. Benji and Joel Madden are amongst the biggest Orioles fans on the face of the planet. We need as many of them as we can get.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4t54bPUvmg[/youtube]

When Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds have hung out together in the past, good things have been known to happen…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lf1j1zrnxss[/youtube]

If I were a better son, I’d take my dad to see Chuck Berry in Annapolis. He’ll have to settle for the Beach Boys later this summer…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ofD9t_sULM[/youtube]

And Anthony Bourdain is doing a stage show. I’ll admit to not knowing much about Anthony Bourdain other than the fact that he once ate lake trout and hung with “Snoop” from The Wire on his show “No Reservations”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9I-jYV1KHiw[/youtube]

9. World Series of Flip Cup (Saturday 3:30pm Recher Theatre)

Not all college athletes are competing for NCAA Championships. Some are competing for far more noble causes. Like the cause of turning over plastic red cups. And maybe in the process…if you’re an attractive female competitor…making out with your fellow competitors.

Just remember this much as you choose your team for Saturday’s showdown in Towson…

flipcup

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR All-Star Race (Saturday 9pm from Charlotte live on SPEED), NASCAR Showdown (Saturday 7:30pm from Charlotte live on SPEED); IndyCar Series Indianapolis 500 Qualifying (Saturday 11am, Sunday 12pm from Indianapolis live on VERSUS)

The thing about the All-Star Race is that NASCAR changes things to be more TV friendly.

Amongst the changes this year? It will be a football game instead of a car race.

In all seriousness, if you enjoy left turns and/or know where to find SPEED on your XFinity lineup; this is probably* worth watching on Saturday night.

*In that, if you’re at home on a Saturday night and have nothing better to watch than an exhibition car race on a channel no one has ever heard of, it might be time to start thinking about where you are in your life.

7. Tennis: French Open (Roland Garros) opening round (Sunday 12pm live on ESPN2, Monday 5am live on Tennis Channel. Action from Paris.)

You’re thinking to yourself, “this is just an excuse for Glenn to post some shirtless picture of his true love Andy Roddick.”

But you’re wrong. You see, until A-Rod wins another Grand Slam event, I’m not giving him any more of the “drooling” type of attention.

Instead, I’m excited for all of the tennis action. With Rafael Nadal healthy, he’ll be looking to re-claim his title from defending champ Roger Federer. Robin Soderling reached the final last year, Andy Murray is coming off a Grand Slam final at the Australian Open in January, and Juan Martin Del Potro is still riding high from his U.S. Open victory last September.

You know, I tried. I really tried.

Let’s go Andy!

andy

6. Pro Wrestling: WWE Over The Limit (Sunday 8pm from Detroit live on Pay-Per-View)

Why am I excited for Over The Limit? I get the feeling we might see more of The Bella Twins…

bellatwins

5. Ravens Passing Camp (Tuesday-Thursday; availability Tuesday from 1 Winning Drive)

What Joe Flacco is doing > what you’re doing.

Of course, with the new rules the Ravens passed down, I’m not sure I’m allowed to report anything Joe Flacco does in Owings Mills this week. I’ll touch on that at another time.

Before heading back to Owings Mills, Mark Clayton made a pit stop at his old stomping grounds in Norman, Oklahoma to finish off his degree. I know a gal who is a proud Oklahoma alum and huge Sooners fan, so I took to Facebook over the weekend to let her know the good news.

When she asked me what he majored in, I could only make the assumption I would make about any Oklahoma football player in the Bob Stoops era.

“I’m pretty sure it was BCS Bowl Game Losing.”

4. NHL Playoffs: Eastern Conference Finals-Flyers/Canadiens (Game 2 Tuesday 7pm from Philadelphia live on VERSUS, Game 3 Thursday 7pm from Montreal live on VERSUS, Game 4 Saturday 3pm from Montreal live on NBC); Western Conference Finals-Sharks/Blackhawks (Game 2 Tuesday 10pm from San Jose live on VERSUS, Game 3 Friday 8pm from Chicago live on VERSUS, Game 4 Sunday 3pm from Chicago live on NBC)

So let me get this straight: the Habs have already made sports fans in Washington and Pittsburgh miserable; and now they have to chance to make fans in Philadelphia miserable as well? Do you think there’s a chance we could schedule them for a series against the Indianapolis Ice next, and then some random hockey team at Duke after that???

I’ve posted pictures of Youppi the last two weeks and I’ve seen the Canadiens win. I’m not going to risk doing anything else this week…

youppi

3. NBA Playoffs: Eastern Conference Finals-Celtics/Magic (Game 2 Tuesday 8:30pm from Orlando, Game 3 Saturday 8:30pm from Boston, Game 4 Monday 8:30pm from Boston. All games live on ESPN); Western Conference Finals-Suns/Lakers (Game 2 Wednesday 9pm from Los Angeles, Game 3 Sunday 8:30pm from Phoenix. All games live on TNT); NBA Draft Lottery (Tuesday 8pm from Secaucus, NJ live on ESPN)

As I said Sunday via Twitter, it’s nice to see JJ Redick continue his long-standing tradition of missing big shots in the final minutes of big games. I am by no means rooting for any team from Boston, but I know this much. No team is winning a big game with this guy on the floor late…

jj

Thanks Rich in Westminster.

As you know, I’m a Phoenix Suns fan-despite what Steve Nash did to the Terrapins back when he was with Santa Clara. It’s just hard to stay mad at the guy…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ66pCgcw_E[/youtube]

2. College Lacrosse-Men’s NCAA Tournament: Notre Dame vs. Maryland (Saturday 12pm from Princeton, NJ live on ESPNU); Men’s Division III NCAA Tournament: Roanoke @ Stevenson (Wednesday 4pm Caves Athletic Complex-semifinals Sunday; winner faces Salisbury/Haverford winner) Women’s NCAA Tournament: Penn @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm Ludwig Field); MIAA High School Lacrosse: (A Conference Semis Tuesday 6pm & 8:30pm, Conference Finals Saturday 3pm, 5:30pm & 8pm. All action from Unitas Stadium); MLL: Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Toronto Nationals (Saturday 2pm from Toronto live on ESPN2)

How convenient! I already don’t like the Fighting Irish! I won’t have to learn how to hate a new team!!!

As I like to on days where games of this magnitude are played; I will be wearing this…

ndsucks

1. Soccer: UEFA Champions League Final-Bayern Munich vs. Inter Milan (Saturday 2:30pm from Madrid live on FOX), NASL: Portland Timbers @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 7pm UMBC Stadium), MLS: DC United @ Houston Dynamo (Saturday 8pm from Houston live on Galavision), Team USA Women vs. Germany (Saturday 6pm from Cleveland live on ESPN2)

For those of you that aren’t aware, the Champions League Final is like the Super Bowl of European sports. Being an Italian myself, I will be pulling for Inter Milan (or Internazionale if you will), and will ABSOLUTELY be rooting for them again when they invade Baltimore this summer for a match against Manchester City at M&T Bank Stadium. Although I will admit I don’t exactly follow their every match.

Think about it though. You could root for Bayern Munich, and support a country whose greatest accomplishment is a weird pair of tight shorts with suspenders…

lederhosen

Or you could root for Inter Milan, and support a country whose greatest accomplishment looks more like this…

pizza

Is it really a question?

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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