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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 07 February 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable MentionWomen’s College Basketball: Virginia @ Maryland (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center), Boxing: Rico Ramos vs. Alejandro Valdez (Friday 11pm from Atlantic City live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights-Antonin Decarie vs. Shamone Alvarez (Friday 9pm from Montreal live on ESPN2); NBA: Milwaukee Bucks @ Washington Wizards (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), San Antonio Spurs @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 8pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet),Washington Wizards @ Cleveland Cavaliers (Sunday 6pm from Cleveland live on Comcast SportsNet); Golf-PGA Tour AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Pebble Beach, CA), Champions Tour Allianz Championship (Friday 12:30pm, Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Boca Raton, FL live on Golf Channel); Tennis: ATP Tour SAP Open (Saturday 4pm & 10pm, Sunday 8pm from San Jose live on Tennis Channel); High School Basketball: Perry Hall @ Milford Mill (Wednesday 6:30pm), Patapsco @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ Arundel (Tuesday 5pm)

10. Linkin Park (Thursday 7pm Verizon Center); Lauryn Hill (Thursday 9:30pm Rams Head Live), Keller Williams (Friday 8pm Rams Head Live), Buckcherry/Hellyeah/All That Remains (Saturday 5:30pm Rams Head Live); Blue Oyster Cult (Saturday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); WAR (Wednesday 6:30pm & 9:30pm Rams Head On Stage), Little River Band (Thursday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Jimmy Eat World (Sunday 7pm 9:30 Club); David Allan Coe (Thursday 8pm Cancun Cantina); Cameo & Sugarfoot’s Ohio Players (Friday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); 2011 Grammy Awards (Sunday 8pm from Los Angeles live on CBS); Billy Joel “The Last Play at Shea” available on DVD (Tuesday)

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen LP live. They’ve gotten much better…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qF_qbaWt3Q[/youtube]

I’ve said this before on Facebook…until she came back recently, I spent hours upon hours every week wondering what had happened to the amazing former Fugees singer/rapper. I’ve been a fan since Sister Act 2. Honestly…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7rSZFxuanc[/youtube]

Picking one Jimmy Eat World song to post here is impossible. I’ll cop out and post “My Best Theory.” Damn these guys are good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lk47ecL1z5w[/youtube]

The video sucks, but here’s “Movin’ Out” from Shea Stadium. William Joel is the greatest. Ever.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGu73wvyhgc[/youtube]

9. Glenn Clark and Drew Forrester go to “Second City Does Baltimore” (Tuesday 8pm Center Stage)

I saw the Second City show for the first time ever 4th of July weekend last year in Chicago. I’ve been looking forward to seeing the Charm City variation for some time since then.

If you’re not familiar with Second City, it’s the comedy troupe from the Windy City that has produced some of the biggest stars in the history of both Saturday Night Live and comedy in general.

My favorites? Well, Tina Fey is pretty awesome…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgOeAofwq-w[/youtube]

Lots of Steve Carrell fans out there…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=keIdgoJYiy8[/youtube]

But this is obvious. Chris Farley is better than everyone…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNBIyGxV7Ek[/youtube]

8. Motor Trend International Auto Show (Thursday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

I have a confession to make.

I’ve really never been all that much of a car person.

Everyone calm down for a second.

It’s not that I don’t enjoy cars…it’s just that…the only time I ever need to look at cars is when I check out the very nice, very affordable vehicles available to me at Koons Ford Security Boulevard. (Do I get a dollar for that?)

Now if THIS car were to be at the Motor Trend show, I’d not only attend-I’d move in…

bumblebee

7. College Lacrosse: VMI @ Navy (Saturday 12pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium); College Lacrosse Scrimmage: Cornell @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 9am Homewood Field), Harvard @ Loyola (Saturday 12pm Ridley Athletic Complex), Drexel @ UMBC (Saturday 1pm UMBC Stadium)

Lacrosse is (sorta) back!!!!

In a related story, sales of lava lamps and patchouli oil are up significantly around the Old Line State.

Our friends at Stevenson don’t open their season for another week, but I figured Richie Ford’s goal from last season was a good way to welcome back lax…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pIqDX-RBx0M[/youtube]

6. Michael Oher “I Beat The Odds” available in stores/online (Tuesday)

I feel like I’ve read this book before. Wasn’t it called “The Blind Side” and written by Michael Lewis?  And didn’t the ensuing movie somehow lead to this amazing moment where Sandra Bullock kissed Scarlett Johansen at the MTV Movie Awards???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evwm-PP6xVw[/youtube]

In all honesty, I’m happy Michael Oher is telling his side of the story. In fact, we’re going to have him on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST at 8:20am Wednesday to talk about it.

And since this is the first post after the end of the NFL season, I’ll wrap the year up by saying THIS Doritos spot was absolutely my favorite from the Super Bowl…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRMMBXx3kqk[/youtube]

5. Pro Wreslting: TNA “Against All Odds” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

This is new TNA Knockout Miss Tessmacher. So…enjoy the PPV!!!

tessmacher

4. Auto Racing: NASCAR Budweiser Shootout (Saturday 8:10pm from Daytona, FL live on FOX)

Oh thank God NASCAR is back! Now my long weekends spent not missing NASCAR can finally come to an end!

I’d tell you who my pick was to win at Daytona, but I’m not sure who’s running in the race. Darrell Waltrip look good this year?

By the way, weather was so bad in Dallas last week that the Texas Motor Speedway looked like…

tms

…and if they had held a race in that mess I would have watched my first NASCAR race. Ever.

3. NHL: San Jose Sharks @ Washington Capitals (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Los Angeles Kings @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 12:30pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Capitals @ Phoenix Coyotes (Monday 8pm from Phoenix live on VERSUS)

Why would I ever make the Caps #3 on this list? Easy. On Valentine’s Day, they’re playing a REAL team this country can root for!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5arwHU5Cm68[/youtube]

Who’s coming with me to see them February 22nd against the Flyers in Philadelphia?!?!? Let’s go DESERT DOGS!!!

2. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce-Fedor Emelianenko vs. Antonio ‘Bigfoot’ Silva (Saturday 10pm from East Rutherford, NJ live on Showtime)

Despite the fact that “MMA Report” host Thyrl Nelson crapped out on coming with me, I’m looking forward to heading up to the Meadowlands this weekend to see my first ever live Strikeforce event.

If you missed Allistair Overeem and Herschel Walker talking up Strikeforce with myself and Nestor Aparicio on “The Afternoon Drive” last Friday, it’s worth checking out in the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net.

It wasn’t the best radio we did at Radio Row last week though. That honor would either go to the great Frank Caliendo…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ay150v4AN7M[/youtube]

Or…quite possibly…the great Vic “The Brick” Jacobs from Fox Sports Radio. FEELING YOU!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMPLCnDIBYk[/youtube]

1. College Basketball: Longwood @ Maryland (Wednesday 8pm Comcast Center), Maryland @ Boston College (Saturday 1pm from Chestnut Hill, MA live on ACC Network-WNUV54 in Charm City); Vermont @ UMBC (Wednesday 7pm RAC Arena), New Hampshire @ UMBC (Saturday 7pm RAC Arena); UNC Wilmington @ Towson (Saturday 2pm Towson Center); Niagara @ Loyola (Friday 7pm Reitz Arena), Canisius @ Loyola (Sunday 12pm Reitz Arena)

Really hard to get a whole lot of anger built up towards Longwood. In fact, if my girlfriend didn’t have family in Farmville, Virginia-I’m not sure I (or ANYONE who might ever read this) could possibly know Longwood was really a college and not just a name that made hoops fans giggle.

The Eagles are a different animal. I despise EVERYTHING from Boston. Beantown sucks. But I have a special disdain for those freaking “Super Shirts.”

In fact, this is the ugliest woman I have ever seen in my life…

bc

I’m not kidding.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 03 January 2011 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: National Field Hockey Coaches’ Association Convention (Thursday-Sunday, Baltimore Convention Center); Soccer: MISL-Milwaukee Wave @ Baltimore Blast (Saturday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena); High School Basketball: Perry Hall @ Patapsco (Wednesday 6:30pm), Woodlawn @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm)

10. Lovin’ Spoonful (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Gregg Allman (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Pietasters (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); Sarah MacLachlan (Monday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Dinner For Schmucks” and “Machete” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday)

Yeah, that’s about it this week. Wish I could give you something better. Either way, this song is GREAT…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWXcjYNZais[/youtube]

As is this song…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WGVW7byRCA[/youtube]

And this song…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxa0Kpgsgv8[/youtube]

And when she’s not forcing me to look at pictures of injured animals, Sarah MacLachlan can even be bearable…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3VrggQW7tk[/youtube]

But yeah, it’s disappointing…

9. Bull Riding-PBR Touring Pro Division (Friday-Saturday Patriot Center)

Apparently this event isn’t the event they show on TV, so it’s not that big of a deal.

But if Johnny Knoxville were to show up, it WOULD be a big deal…because it would be awesome…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5jovQQOOMes[/youtube]

8. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Challengers (Friday 11pm from Nashville live on Showtime)

So I sat down and watched some MMA for the first time in MONTHS Saturday, checking out UFC 125 after the Winter Classic.

I was reminded of how awesome the sport can sometimes be…

vera

Brandon Vera’s face was completely rearranged by Thiago Alves. His nose is now hanging out somewhere near his right ear.

Yet he was smiling.

Awesome.

7. NBA: Washington Wizards @ Philadelphia 76ers (Wednesday 7pm from Philadelphia live on Comcast SportsNet), New Jersey Nets @ Washington Wizards (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Charlotte Bobcats (Saturday 7pm from Charlotte live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS)

Did the ‘Zards know Gilbert Arenas could do THIS before they traded him to the Orlando Magic???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZheMh7QS5QQ[/youtube]

6. Pro Wrestling: TNA Genesis (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

As always, I like to try to provide compelling reasons to view PPV events when I include them on the list. This week’s compelling reason is named Taylor Wilde…

taylorwilde

She’s reportedly a wrestler. Like you care.

5. Golf: PGA Tour Hyundai Tournament of Champions (Thursday-Saturday 5:30pm, Sunday 6pm from Kapalua, HI live on Golf Channel)

Oh thank God golf is back. Absolutely no one* had missed it.

(*No one not named Drew Forrester that is.)

My pick to win the golf tour this year? Chi Chi Rodriguez.

Hey, why change now?

In other golf news, former Tiger Woods mistress Loredana Jolie did something recently. Unless it’s taking another picture with her clothes off, you wouldn’t care.

ljolie

4. NHL: Tampa Bay Lightning @ Washington Capitals (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Florida Panthers @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

Look, I’m not a fan of the Pittsburgh Penguins OR the Washington Capitals, so I don’t have a dog in the hunt. The Pens may have lost on the ice at Heinz Field Saturday; but there was one area where they DIDN’T lose…

bylsma

Bruce Boudreau won the game…but Dan Bylsma looked AMAZING.

Can’t win ‘em all, Caps fans.

3. College Basketball: Colgate @ Maryland (Tuesday 8pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Maryland @ Duke (Sunday 8pm from Durham, NC live on Fox Sports Net nationally, CSN locally); Howard @ Morgan State (Saturday 4pm Hill Field House); Maine @ UMBC (Saturday 2pm RAC Arena); Hampton @ Coppin State (Saturday 4pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex), Howard @ Coppin State (Monday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); Women’s College Basketball: Maryland @ Duke (Thursday 7pm from Durham, NC live on Comcast SportsNet)

Eff Duke.

Does this picture ever get old?

cryingkid

And while we’re at it, how ’bout we throw this Greivis Vasquez classic in there too?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrajaO74m94[/youtube]

And since the women are playing this week too, here’s Kristi Toliver…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DNpNRtFN1K0[/youtube]

Look, I don’t think the Terrapins are going to beat the Blue Devils Sunday at Cameron Indoor Stadium-but it doesn’t change how I feel. Just let me have this.

2. College Football: BCS Championship Game-Auburn vs. Oregon (Monday 8:30pm from Glendale, AZ live on ESPN), Sugar Bowl-Ohio State vs. Arkansas (Tuesday 8:30pm from New Orleans live on ESPN), Cotton Bowl-LSU vs. Texas A&M (Friday 8pm from Arlington, TX live on FOX), GoDaddy.com Bowl-Miami (Ohio) vs. Middle Tennessee (Thursday 8pm from Mobile, AL live on ESPN), BBVA Compass Bowl-Pitt vs. Kentucky (Saturday 12pm from Birmingham, AL live on ESPN), Fight Hunger Bowl-Boston College vs. Nevada (Sunday 9pm from San Francisco live on ESPN); NCAA FCS Championship Game: Delaware vs. Eastern Washington (Friday 7pm from Frisco, TX live on ESPN2)

Which Cam Newton joke do you want to go with?

I’ll admit this much. I’m going to be rooting AGAINST the Tigers on Monday night.

I think it’s just probably better for everyone if Newton DOESN’T win the National Championship. Of course, we said the same thing about the Heisman Trophy but that was already decided.

As far as the FCS title is concerned, I’m assuming Delaware wins-right? I mean, there’s NO WAY a team that plays on a field that looks like this can win……can they???

ewu

1. NFL Playoffs: AFC Wild Card Round-Baltimore Ravens @ Kansas City Chiefs (Sunday 1pm from Kansas City live on CBS), New York Jets @ Indianapolis Colts (Saturday 8pm from Indianapolis live on NBC); NFC Wild Card Round-New Orleans Saints @ Seattle Seahawks (Saturday 4:30pm from Seattle live on NBC), Green Bay Packers @ Philadelphia Eagles (Sunday 4:30pm from Philadelphia live on FOX)

The only issue I have here is that I don’t have quite the hate built up for KC that I did for Indy.

If we had been headed out to LucasOil Stadium this weekend, I would have had PLENTY of hate stored up. I don’t know how much hate I can have stored up in a trip to Arrowhead Stadium.

Of course, there IS good news about a trip to Kansas City…

bbq

Yeah…if I were you, I’d think about getting on the bus.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 29 November 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-Women’s College Basketball: ACC/Big Ten Challenge-Maryland @ Purdue (Thursday 6:30pm from West Lafayette, IN live on Big Ten Network), Appalachian State @ Maryland (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center); NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Awards Show (Friday 9pm from Las Vegas live on SPEED); Golf: PGA Tour Chevron World Challenge (Thursday & Friday 4pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Thousand Oaks, CA)

10. Michael Buble (Tuesday 8pm Verizon Center); George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live); Dashboard Confessional (Friday 7pm Recher Theatre); Eddie Money (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Marc Broussard (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Carbon Leaf (Saturday 4:30pm & 8:30pm, Sunday 8pm, Monday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Jim Breuer (Friday-Sunday, DC Improv)

Hate on Michael Buble all you want, but this song with Sharon Jones kicks some real ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wVqgrD_tCE[/youtube]

I might not go see Eddie Money Tuesday night, but I’ve certainly spent plenty of nights belting out his songs in my life…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbhXmSBlS_U[/youtube]

Marc Broussard? Silly good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuWPseegaKw[/youtube]

And while I’m not depressed and have never cut myself, there’s still a few times where I’ve thought “you know, I kinda dig Dashboard Confessional.” Most of those times were Spider-Man 2 related…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2WoJV4NLxqg[/youtube]

9. NBA: Washington Wizards @ Toronto Raptors (Wednesday 7pm from Toronto live on Comcast SportsNet), Portland Trailblazers @ Washington Wizards (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ Phoenix Suns (Sunday 8pm from Phoenix live on Comcast SportsNet)

Oh, the Blazers are coming to DC this week? That’s great, I’ve been wanting to get a look at that guy they picked #1 a few years ago. Greg Oden? I hear he could be the next Patrick Ewing!

Meanwhile, the ‘Zards will also be headed to Arizona this week. While they’re in the Valley, they may run into a distraction or two of their own…

asu

8. NHL: Washington Capitals @ St. Louis Blues (Wednesday 8pm from St. Louis live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS & NHL Network), Washington Capitals @ Dallas Stars (Saturday 8:30pm from Dallas live on Comcast SportsNet), Atlanta Thrashers @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Toronto Maple Leafs @ Washington Capitals (Monday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

So apparently there are a number of fans of the Caps who are up in arms about this 3 minute video of Alex Ovechkin dancing…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeL-zXsxGzY[/youtube]

I guess everyone is upset because they think “The Great 8″ is more concerned about being a Russian playboy than being a Stanley Cup champion. While I certainly HOPE that’s the case, I’m not necessarily convinced it is. I’d lean more to the idea that Alex is just hoping he can get a role in the upcoming remake of “The Goonies”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5whaRkuipU[/youtube]

7. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Final Resolution” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

Why would I watch TNA’s PPV event Sunday night? Two words. ANGELINA.LOVE.

angelina

6. Soccer: 2018 & 2022 FIFA World Cup Host Announcement (Thursday 10am from Zurich, Switzerland live on ESPN & Fox Soccer Channel); College Soccer-NCAA Tournament: Michigan @ Maryland (Saturday 1pm Ludwig Field)

Thursday’s announcement is particularly significant here in Charm City as M&T Bank Stadium could end up being a host stadium for the 2022 Cup should the USA win the bid.

I know it’s tough to get excited about something that would be 12 years away. I’m going to be about 40 years old by then. Thank God I have such boyish good looks.

As far as Maryland-Michigan is concerned, I guess I’m going to have to quickly develop some hate towards Big Blue. I’m not totally comfortable reaching out to Ohio State fans, so instead I’ll ask Tom Hanks for his opinion…

tomhanks

5. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC “The Ultimate Fighter” Team GSP vs. Team Koscheck Finale (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on SpikeTV); Strikeforce: Dan Henderson vs. “Babalu” Sobral II (Saturday 10pm from St. Louis live on Showtime)

The Strikeforce card loses a little bit of luster because Herschel Walker got hurt. But wait, was it Herschel Walker….or Herschel Walker?

(Edit from GMC: Don’t get the reference? Do some research.)

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to watch any of the fights Saturday night, even if they’re free. I’ve got a busy schedule. I mean, I HAVE to find some time to go see “Love and Other Drugs” at some point, right?

4. College Football-SEC Championship Game: Auburn vs. South Carolina (Saturday 4pm from Atlanta live on CBS); ACC Championship Game: Florida State vs. Virginia Tech (Saturday 7:45pm from Charlotte live on ESPN); Big 12 Championship Game: Nebraska vs. Oklahoma (Saturday 8pm from Dallas live on ABC); Oregon @ Oregon State (Saturday 3:30pm from Corvalis, OR live on ABC)

And if the Tigers and Ducks win Saturday, we’ll know who will head to Glendale for the BCS Championship Game.

Insert your own Cam Newton joke here.

Me personally, I’m kinda rooting for Auburn to end up out at University of Phoenix Stadium for the title game. I’m sure you’ll understand…

auburn

3. College Basketball: ACC/Big Ten Challenge-Maryland @ Penn State (Wednesday 9:15pm from State College, PA live on ESPN2), BB&T Classic-Maryland vs. Temple (Sunday 8pm from Verizon Center live on MASN); Coppin State @ Morgan State (Saturday 4pm Hill Field House); Lincoln (Pennsylvania) @ Coppin State (Tuesday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex); Western Michigan @ Towson (Wednesday 7pm Towson Center); St. Peter’s @ Loyola (Thursday 7pm Reitz Arena)

Attention WNST employees Luke Jones and Ashley Bishoff:

If I hear even ONE positive word regarding the EFFING Nittany Lions this week, there will be HELL to pay. HELL I tell you.

Don’t understand? I refer you to Paul Finebaum…

pennstate

2. High School Football: MPSSAA State Finals-4A: Urbana vs. Henry A. Wise (Friday 7pm), 3A: Franklin vs. Wilde Lake (Thursday 7pm), 2A: Middletown vs. McDonough (Saturday 3:30pm), 1A: Dunbar vs. Havre De Grace (Saturday 12pm)…all games from M&T Bank Stadium live on WNUV 54

GO YOU FRANKLIN INDIANS, GO!!!

http://s3.amazonaws.com/twitpic/photos/full/199518235.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=0ZRYP5X5F6FSMBCCSE82&Expires=1291042504&Signature=LYW5PqMW5MVnTz9vtiR5o9gJVeM%3D

If anyone has a version of this photo from the end of Franklin’s win over North Harford, I’d pay you money for it…and I’d wear it as a t-shirt.

1. NFL: Pittsburgh Steelers @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 8:20pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on NBC)

Well this just about goes without saying, right?

pittsburgh

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 01 November 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Auto Racing-NASCAR AAA Texas 500 (Sunday 3pm from Fort Worth live on ESPN); College Soccer: William & Mary @ Maryland (Tuesday 7:30pm Ludwig Field), Coastal Carolina @ Maryland (Friday 7:30pm Ludwig Field); Boxing-Jimmy Lange vs. Joe Wyatt (Saturday 7pm Patriot Center); ShoBox-Edwin Rodriguez vs. James McGirt, Jr. (Friday 11pm from Fargo, North Dakota live on Showtime), Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Rafael Marquez/Allan Green vs. Glen Johnson (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on Showtime); Zab Judah vs. Lucas Matthysse (Saturday 11:15pm from Newark, NJ live on HBO); NHL: Toronto Maple Leafs @ Washington Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet), Boston Bruins @ Washington Capitals (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet), Philadelphia Flyers @ Washington Capitals (Sunday 5pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet)

10. The Cult (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Little Big Town (Wednesday 7:30pm Rams Head Live), Wolf Parade (Friday 8pm Rams Head Live), Social Distortion (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), La Roux (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); All Mighty Senators (Saturday 8pm 8×10 Club); Phil Vassar (Sunday 7:30pm Rams Head On Stage); The Script (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Ra Ra Riot (Friday 6:30pm 9:30 Club), Umphrey’s McGee (Friday & Saturday 10pm 9:30 Club); Blue Man Group (Tuesday-Friday 8pm, Saturday 2pm & 8pm, Sunday 1pm & 6:30pm Hippodrome), Interpol (Wednesday 7pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Kevin Hart (Friday 8pm & 10:30pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); Bedouin Soundclash (Thursday 8:30pm Rock N Roll Hotel); Jaron And The Long Road To Leave (Thursday 8:30pm State Theatre), Soulive (Friday 9pm State Theatre); Daniel Tosh (Friday 7:30pm & 10:30pm Warner Theatre), Vince Vaughn & Kevin James (Monday 8pm Warner Theatre); Don McLean (Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere); Good Charlotte “Cardiology” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday), “Toy Story 3″ available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday), “Megamind” opens in theaters (Friday)

Not everyone likes country music. But I like country music. At least country music when Little Big Town is playing it…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-XfthjK-bk[/youtube]

Mike Ness is one of the toughest dudes on the face of the planet. I feel like not only could he play a gig with Social D in Charm City this weekend, but he could possibly play safety for the Ravens as well if Dawan Landry were to get hurt…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oh8zcbC_Dcw[/youtube]

Some people think it isn’t very manly to be a fan of The Script. To those people I say, “why in the hell would you have thought I was manly otherwise?”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gS9o1FAszdk[/youtube]

Drew Forrester and I are going to see Ra Ra Riot Friday night in DC. I’m planning on telling everyone that my grandfather actually does have fairly decent taste in music.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKkxXaeAhzY[/youtube]

9. World Championship Punkin Chunkin (Friday-Sunday Nassau, Delaware)

This is certainly outside the radius of what I would usually consider “local”, but it’s also awesome enough that I’m going to be forced to let it slide.

Seriously, how in the hell can you argue with an event like THIS?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpfGGWK46pc[/youtube]

8. Lingerie Football League: Orlando Fantasy @ Baltimore Charm (Friday 9pm 1st Mariner Arena)

I don’t consider myself an expert on the LFL by any stretch of the imagination, but I feel like it has to be somewhat disappointing that the Charm have been outscored 93-6 in their first two games of the year.

That being said, I still like it would be unfair to label the team as 0-2 for the season. Mostly because that would mean we’re labeling anyone involved with the LFL as losers…

lfl

7. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Turning Point” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

Mr. Anderson is facing Jeff Hardy at Turning Point for the strap. But that’s not what I’m most interested in. Instead, I’m much more interested in the match between the Motor City Machine Guns and Team 3D. Why? Because Team 3D is FREAKING AWESOME…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsWt_Gh-n9A[/youtube]

6. High School Football: Perry Hall @ Hereford (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ Chesapeake-Anne Arundel County (Friday 6:30pm)

As always, my PHHS Gators are coming off a blowout win (56-15 over Milford Mill) and Forrester’s Gophers are coming off a blowout loss (44-6 to North County).

But Hereford is always a tricky trip for my Gators. Which bothers me, because there is no team I want to beat more than the Bulls every season.

Why’s that?

Picture a 14 year old Glenn Clark sitting in front of window at 6am…staring out at a thin layer of snow/ice and listening to Dave Durian on WBAL…

“Baltimore County Schools…two hours late…”

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DIDN’T DO ANY OF MY HOMEWORK LAST NIGHT AND I COULD REALLY USE ANOTHER 45 MINUTES OF SLEEP!!!!!!!

“…Hereford Zone only.”

WHAT?!?!?!?!? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So to my Gators…I don’t ask for much. But PLEASE. Win this for all of us who ever had to have our hearts broken by hearing the words “Hereford Zone only.”

Love, G.

5. NBA: Philadelphia 76ers @ Washington Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Washington Wizards @ New York Knicks (Friday 7:30pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Cleveland Cavaliers @ Washington Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

Since the ‘Zards appear to stink again this year, thank God Ted Leonsis and company have a favorable schedule. I mean, not even two weeks into the season and they’re already getting a visit from LeBron James and the Cavs!

Oh. No? Well at least they have other good things going on in DC. For example…

grossman

Oh Thank God for Rex Grossman. He couldn’t happen to a better group of A-holes.

4. College Basketball: 2K Sports Classic-Seattle @ Maryland (Monday 8pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Shepherd @ Loyola (Thursday 7pm Reitz Arena); Women’s College Basketball: Gallaudet @ Maryland (Tuesday 7pm Comcast Center), District of Columbia @ Maryland (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center)

Oh College Basketball how I love thee and how much I have missed thee.

Seriously-there are few things in life that I love HALF as much as I love College Basketball.

Off the top of my head, I’d say I love O.A.R., Chris Farley movies and Belgian Wheat beers as much as I love College Basketball. Nothing else.

Well….maybe this…

jello

3. College Football: Maryland @ Miami (Saturday 12pm from Miami live on ESPNU), Navy @ East Carolina (Saturday 3:30pm from Greenville, NC live on MASN)

Okay, I REALLY don’t think the Terrapins are that good.

I know they’re 6-2. I know they’re now 3-1 in the ACC. I know they just hung 62 points on Wake Forest. I know there’s a chance Jacory Harris might not play for the Hurricanes Saturday, and the ‘Canes just lost a game to effing Virginia ANYWAY.

I’m just still not convinced Ralph Friedgen’s Terps are THAT good. But I’ve been wrong before.

For example, I was told recently that there were some new pictures of a gal named Jarah Mariano that deserved a gander. My response was “I bet they’re not that great.”

I was wrong. (Thanks Guyism!)

jarah

2. Horse Racing: Breeders’ Cup (Friday 4pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 1:30pm live on ABC, Saturday 3:30pm live on ESPN. All racing from Louisville, KY)

I can’t believe I’m missing this.

There is NOTHING better than a big racing weekend at Churchill Downs.

Of course, I’m not so sure it’ll be quite the same without the Prince of Kentucky…

glennclark

1. NFL: Miami Dolphins @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 1pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on CBS)

It’s not that I’m NOT excited about the Ravens and Fins Sunday afternoon. Trust me, I’m PLENTY excited about it. It’s just that it’s hard to think about ANYTHING going on at “The Bank” right now as being even in the neighborhood of the importance of what will be going on there come June 22, 2011…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziOZCSBy4YE[/youtube]

FREAKING.YES.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 05 October 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Preseason NBA-Washington Wizards @ Dallas Mavericks (Tuesday 8:30pm from Dallas live on Comcast SportsNet); Auto Racing-NASCAR Pepsi 400 (Sunday 3pm from Fontana, CA live on ESPN)

10. Slayer/Anthrax/Megadeth (Wednesday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena), So You Think You Can Dance (Tuesday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Roger Waters (Sunday 8pm Verizon Center); Hank Williams Jr. (Saturday 7pm Patriot Center), Gorillaz & N.E.R.D. (Monday 7:30pm Patriot Center); Mary J. Blige (Thursday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); Sister Hazel (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Skillet/Papa Roach/Trapt (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), The Roots (Friday 9pm Rams Head Live); Fools & Horses (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); LA Guns (Friday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); K’Naan (Sunday 8pm 9:30 Club); Pete Yorn (Wednesday 8pm Black Cat); Bob Saget (Friday 8pm Warner Theatre)

I don’t think it’s quite worth a drive to Fairfax; but I sure as hell wouldn’t mind seeing Hank Jr. play “Family Tradition”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyDie_4dOdU[/youtube]

I’m definitely making it down to PPL Friday Night. Sister Hazel was part of the soundtrack to my adolescence…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tv1-wnyhmhQ[/youtube]

The Roots aren’t bringing John Legend with them to Rams Head Live, but I’m sure they’ll still figure out a way to kick some ass anyway…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji6kQl71TYU[/youtube]

I met Fools & Horses at Bill Bateman’s in Towson a few weeks ago. Turns out I once introduced them at the HFStival at Merriweather Post Pavilion. I felt bad. They’re good. Go see them…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5spGWsyEYdg[/youtube]

9. High School Football: Woodlawn @ Perry Hall (Friday 6:30pm), Arundel @ Glen Burnie (Friday 6:30pm)

Friday night is Homecoming at PHHS, which means I’m once again in the awkward position of needing to find a date. “Boomer Sooner” is going to visit a friend in North Carolina this weekend (And before any of you amateur comedians asks-No, I don’t know what his name is); so I’m scrambling for a Homecoming date. This is 11th grade all over again.

The thing is, I think I know who I’m gonna ask…

daniela

Daniela Pane, will you be my Homecoming date?

(Edit from GMC: I’M SO NERVOUS!!!!)

8. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce-Nick Diaz vs. KJ Noons II (Saturday 10pm from San Jose live on Showtime)

With no offense to the many talented MMA fighters who are participating in the event Saturday night, every time I see that Strikeforce is putting a card on, there’s only one thing I’m concerned about.

IS GINA CARANO FIGHTING?!?!?!?

carano

The answer is “no” this week. Because the answer is “no”, I’ll admit that I’m not quite as excited…

7. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Bound For Glory” (Sunday 8pm from Daytona Beach, FL live on Pay-Per-View)

Usually I post a picture of some hot wrestling gal here and say something like “Here’s a good reason to get the TNA PPV Sunday night.” Instead, I think Jeff Hardy is a hell of a reason to get the TNA PPV Sunday night…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aVDdMHa9BbI[/youtube]

6. Soccer: Team USA Women vs. China (Wednesday 7pm from Chester, PA live on ESPN2), Team USA vs. Poland (Saturday 8pm from Chicago live on Fox Soccer Channel); MLS-San Jose Earthquakes @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS & MLS Direct Kick); College Soccer: UConn @ Maryland (Tuesday 7:30pm Ludwig Field); Manhattan @ Loyola (Friday 7pm Ridley Athletic Complex), St. Peter’s @ Loyola (Sunday 1pm Ridley Athletic Complex)

This is tough for me. I’m CLEARLY going to pull for the American women during their showdown up in Philly, but I will admit that it is tough for me to root against a country that gave us Orange Chicken…

orangechicken

5. “Secretariat” in theaters (Friday)

Boomer Sooner and I went over to Arundel Mills the other night to check this flick out. It’s good-especially for a Disney movie. Not “Remember The Titans” good, but certainly “We Are Marshall” good.

A couple of things though. One-Is it just me, or does Diane Lane somehow just keep getting hotter as she gets older???

dianelane

2-I’m very happy that Laurel rider Grant Whitacre got a role in the flick, he did a solid job in limited time on-camera. But the real question is-how did Glenn Clark NOT get a role in the movie??? I COMPLETELY look the part!!!!

glennclark

4. Maryland Oktoberfest (Saturday 12pm Timonium Fairgrounds); Baltimore Beer Week Opening Tap Celebration (Thursday 6pm Baltimore Museum of Industry)

GLOR.I.OUS.

germangirls
beers
sausage

3. College Football: Navy @ Wake Forest (Saturday 6:30pm from Winston-Salem live on ESPN3.com), James Madison @ Towson (Saturday 7pm Unitas Stadium), Dickinson @ Johns Hopkins (Friday 7pm Homewood Field)

So if Towson can somehow beat JMU…who beat Virginia Tech…who beat NC State…who beat Cincinnati…who has a chance to beat West Virginia…who beat Maryland…who beat Duke…who beat Butler when Gordon Hayward missed that shot…does that mean that the Tigers would somehow be the transitive NCAA Basketball Champions?!?!?

Would look pretty impressive on Rob Ambrose’s resume…

2. NHL: Washington Capitals @ Atlanta Thrashers (Friday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on Comcast SportsNet), New Jersey Devils @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Ottawa Senators @ Washington Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

The NHL is back for real Friday night. Make your plans accordingly. Mine will probably involve a significant amount of Moosehead and a Saturday afternoon of screaming at my TV while the Phoenix Coyotes face the Boston Bruins in Prague on VERSUS. Just don’t bother me during that stretch.

Would any of you weirdo Caps fans be interested in a trip to Arizona to for the game against the Desert Dogs on Valentine’s Day?

Trust me, it would beat your other Valentine’s Day plans…

underwear

1. NFL: Denver Broncos @ Baltimore Ravens (Sunday 1pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on CBS)

This is a bit of a tricky situation. I mean, we all know I’ll be FULLY behind the Ravens on Sunday; but if Kyle Orton gets hurt-it could pain me.

I mean, how in the hell do you root against THIS GUY?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-qodBTlMtA[/youtube]

I mean, Tim Tebow really does do God’s work. He helped Florida beat Oklahoma in the BCS Championship Game. What more can you ask for in the world???

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 30 August 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: College Football-Towson @ Indiana (Thursday 7:30pm from Bloomington, Ind. live on Big Ten Network), Bowie State @ Morgan State (Saturday 6pm Hughes Stadium); Auto Racing: NASCAR Emory Healthcare 500 (Sunday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on ESPN), IndyCar Series Kentucky 300 (Saturday 8pm from Sparta, Kentucky live on VERSUS); Soccer: U.S. Open Cup-Columbus Crew @ DC United (Wednesday 7:30pm RFK Stadium), MLS-Columbus Crew @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Fox Soccer Channel)

10. Budweiser Superfest feat. Anthony Hamilton (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), The O’Jays & Ron Isley (Friday 7pm Pier Six Pavilion), REO Speedwagon & Pat Benatar (Saturday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Disturbed & Avenged Sevenfold (Tuesday 4pm Jiffy Lube Live), Jimmy Buffett (Thursday & Saturday 8pm Jiffy Lube Live); Tantric & Adema (Tuesday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); Cowboy Mouth (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); NAS & Damien Marley (Tuesday 8pm Sonar), 30 Seconds to Mars (Wednesday 7pm Sonar); Bret Michaels (Wednesday 8pm Maryland State Fair), Justin Bieber (Sunday 7pm Maryland State Fair); Hot Hot Heat (Saturday 9pm Ottobar)

This list is MUCH better than it probably looks like at first. I won’t make it to Buffett Thursday night because the Ravens are playing. If I was there, I’d probably just keep yelling “SOUTHERN CROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!” anyway….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Ah-Ch8NQ4[/youtube]

I used to do radio broadcasts for the Arizona Rattlers during my time in Phoenix; and they once brought Tantric by during the first half. They didn’t leave at any point during the game. I’m pretty sure there were both hookers AND blow….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Ah-Ch8NQ4[/youtube]

I’m not really a big Nas fan, but “One Mic” is one of the greatest songs in hip-hop history. Note-lyrics NSFW…unless of course you work at Jo-Ann Fabrics. We all know the deal there…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQbCC8S-ErE[/youtube]

I can’t freaking STAND Jared Leto, but damnit if “Kings and Queens” isn’t amongst the Top 10 songs of 2010…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMX3qv1N37s[/youtube]

9. Glenn Clark’s Birthday (Monday)

I don’t usually like to make this all about me, but I figured I could offer a plea here. I rarely ask you all for anything, but I would REALLY like this Robert McClintock piece for my birthday this year. Just consider it an investment on future brilliant material from “The Tradition”…

chips

8. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs-Deutsche Bank Championship (Friday & Saturday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Sunday 3pm Monday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Norton, Massachusetts), Champions Tour Home Care & Hospice First Tee Open at Pebble Beach (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Monterey, CA live on Golf Channel)

Some dude named Matt Kuchar won the first event in the playoffs. I’m reasonably certain we were in Mrs. Lutz-Itzoe’s 3rd grade class at Chapel Hill Elementary School together.

Seriously, can’t Tiger Woods just ACTUALLY be “back” one of these weeks?!?!?!

I’m reasonably certain this guy is gonna end up winning the 2nd playoff event in Boston…

rex

7. Pro Wrestling: WWE Raw (Monday 9pm from Verizon Center live on USA Network); TNA “No Surrender” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

As a veteran of plenty of live WWE, WWF and WCW events, there are a few things you need to know before you head to the arena:

1-If you bring a sign, make it funny. If it just says “The Champ is Here” because you’re a John Cena fan-you had better be 12 years old. If you’re closer to my age and want to bring a sign, it better be something creative-like Sheamus’ face with the words “You Can’t See Me.” You see, it’s clever because Sheamus is an albino and it uses another of John Cena’s catch phrases. Taking notes?

2-Bringing your own championship belt might seem lame-but it isn’t. Bring yours, and carry it over your shoulder. Wear sunglasses too. Championship belts around the waist-again-are for kids.

3-I liked Stone Cold Steve Austin as much as anyone. But chanting “What?” after everything that is said is grounds for the guy behind you to “accidentally” spill two beers on you. Don’t be lame.

4-Remind your kids they shouldn’t do this type of stuff at home. Unless of course they want to be like Ric Flair. In which case, let them do whatever the hell they please…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy-LQH8N6Ug[/youtube]

6. Basketball: FIBA World Championships-Team USA vs. Iran (Wednesday 12pm live on ESPN), Tunisia vs. Team USA (Thursday 9:30am live on ESPN2; both games from Istanbul) Round of 16 games (Saturday-Monday from Istanbul live on ESPN & ESPN3.com)

Is Tunisia where the Tasmanian Devil is from?!?!?

I’m really torn on this whole Team USA hoops thing. I mean-on one side, I love America. I’m much like Glenn Beck in that way. We’re a couple of patriots. Maybe it’s a name thing. But like Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, I love this country. Not like that Barack Obama fella-I heard he isn’t even FROM this country!

On the flip side of patriotism, I completely despise everything about Coach K. Is there anything LESS American than a Duke coach coaching our boys in Europe? We might as well scribble out a map for terrorists that says “your target is here.”

Oh and another thing. I was going to attend the World Championships this year, but couldn’t find Istanbul on a map. All of my and Craig Ferguson’s maps said “Constantinople”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4phHwSSing[/youtube]

5. High School Football: Joppatowne @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ South River (Friday 6:30pm)

YEEEESSSSS!!!!! MARINERS ARE GOING DOWN!!!!!!!!!!! ROLL GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, I’m sure there are plenty of other important games this weekend (the first full weekend of High School action here in the Old Line State) involving teams like Calvert Hall, Gilman, Boys Latin, Bel Air, Fallston, Parkville, Dulaney, etc. etc. etc.; but don’t bother me with those. I went to PHHS, and ol’ Drew Forrester went to Glen Burnie-so there are only two teams that I root for. Perry Hall…and whoever is playing the Gophers.

This week, there’s NO ONE I love more than South River! Go you….Seahawks, go!

That’s how I roll.

4. Tennis: U.S. Open (Tuesday-Friday 11am live on Tennis Channel 1pm live on ESPN2, Saturday-Monday 11am live on CBS 7pm live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from New York)

And with that in mind, don’t even bother asking me if I can do something for the next 14 days/nights. You already know the answer.

Need an excuse to watch? Well, Caroline Wozniacki IS the top seeded woman at Flushing Meadows…

wozniacki

3. Maryland State Fair (Tuesday-Monday Timonium Fairgrounds)

The new young lady in my life…we call her “Boomer Sooner”…tells me that at the Texas State Fair, they have introduced Deep Fried BEER this year. I’ll admit there was a bit of jealousy inside me, but I then reminded her that we have something even BETTER in Maryland…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Oy_cPF950s[/youtube]

I will be there early evening Friday. I’ll be wearing the black Under Armour hat. It’s a dollar a race. You KNOW you can’t afford to miss this.

2. Baltimore Ravens @ St. Louis Rams (Thursday 8pm from St. Louis live on WBAL11)

Speaking of “Boomer Sooner”, I immediately have more interest in a 4th preseason game than I EVER should. You see, as a graduate of the University of Oklahoma, ol’ Boomer Sooner has adopted the Rams as her second team-thanks to her undying affection for QB Sam Bradford. The whole thing just disgusts me.

But Sam Bradford won’t be the only Heisman Trophy winner on the field Friday night. That’s right, we’ve got one of our own here in Charm City….

troysmith

Attention Troy Smith: I’ve never asked you for anything before. You’ve always lived up to those expectations. Please don’t change now. The city needs you. And by the city, I mean “me.” And I really only need you for one night, but don’t get caught up in semantics. Hugs and kisses. -G

1. College Football: Maryland vs. Navy (Monday 4pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN); Virginia Tech vs. Boise State (Monday 8pm from FedEx Field live on ESPN)

Not only is Monday my birthday-but it is also Labor Day. And I can think of no way better to honor the working men and women of American than to have our Terrapins absolutely DESTROY the men who will go on to serve our country during times of unrest in the “Crab Bowl Classic” there at “The Bank.”

In all seriousness, there are only a few things I’m hoping for in Monday’s game. 1-Awesome Spirit videos from the Midshipmen like this one…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4breGPkzS0[/youtube]

2-An atmosphere and game so great that either a Terps player (or a Mids player) ends up finding himself in folklore the way that one Lance Ball has…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR6737o-cko[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 03 August 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: MLL Lacrosse-Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Boston Cannons (Saturday 7pm from Boston live on ESPN3.com); Soccer-NASL: Miami FC @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Wednesday 2pm Maryland SoccerPlex), MLS: DC United @ New England Revolution (Saturday 7:30pm from Foxborough, MA live on MLS Direct Kick & Comcast SportsNet); WNBA-Washington Mystics @ Atlanta Dream (Tuesday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on ESPN2); Boxing: Devon Alexander vs. Andriy Kotelnik (Saturday 10pm from St. Louis live on HBO), ShoBOX: Chris Avalos vs. Christopher Martin (Friday 11pm from Hinckley, MN live on Showtime)

10. Goo Goo Dolls (Tuesday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Lilith Fair feat. Sarah MacLachlan (Tuesday 3pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Keane (Thursday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Arcade Fire (Friday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Summer Spirit Festival feat. The Roots, Common, Erykah Badu, B.O.B. (Saturday 3:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Barenaked Ladies (Sunday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Kings of Leon (Saturday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), Mayhem Festival feat. Korn & Rob Zombie (Sunday 2:15pm Jiffy Lube Live); Willie Nelson (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Hippiefest feat. War & Mitch Ryder (Sunday 8pm Wolf Trap), Counting Crows (Monday 8pm Wolf Trap); Sick Puppies (Friday 7pm Sonar); Asia (Tuesday 7:30pm Birchmere), Jonny Lang (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Alex Band of “The Calling” (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); “The Other Guys” out in theaters (Friday)

I’m really hit and miss when it comes to the Goo Goo Dolls. Sometimes I think they’re much too sappy, sometimes they put out a jam like “Slide”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP4qdefD2To[/youtube]

There’s like nothing…in the world…better than The Roots…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n94URvpQOAc[/youtube]

There isn’t much of anyone I’d drive to Bristow, Virginia to see…but I’d at least consider it for a band like Kings of Leon. I mean…they did “Manhattan”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-2-7uuCtc[/youtube]

Not a whole lot of you will have heard of Sick Puppies, but it shouldn’t keep you from going to Sonar to check them out. They’re actually pretty good. When I would sit it on 98KUPD in Phoenix, I would regularly get them switched into the rotation…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okjxe8VWQPo[/youtube]

9. Baltimore International Festival/6th Annual Mayor’s Cup Soccer Tournament (Saturday-Sunday Poly/Western High School)

Winner gets a free XBox!!!

Oh wait…that was the other mayor.

You know what my favorite tent is at the international festival? The AMERICAN tent! I hope they have Buffalo Chicken Dip and episodes of Holly’s World…that’s what makes our country great!

8. Pro Wrestling: TNA “HardCORE Justice” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View); WWE “Wrestlemania 26″ replay (Saturday 9pm NBC)

Usually including Pro Wrestling events is just an excuse for me to put in pictures of hot wrestling chicks. Not this time. Why? Because I love both of these events. One-the TNA event is an ECW reunion.  Anything that involves more Rob Van Dam makes me (and God I believe) happy…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlfWESVCutc[/youtube]

Two…WM26 was Shawn Michaels’ final match. Once again, I (and God) approve…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3EGgJgbfvM[/youtube]

7. Golf: PGA Tour Turning Stone Resort Championship (Thursday-Sunday 4pm from Verona, NY live on Golf Channel), Champions Tour 3M Championship (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Blaine, MN live on Golf Channel)

Stuart Appleby shot a 59 in some Golf Tournament Classic thingy last weekend, and apparently that’s impressive.  I’m not sure I agree. I shot a 44 myself at Maui Golf a few weeks ago when I was in Ocean City!

Speaking of Ocean City, former Intern Genna lives in Ocean City now. I wonder what she’s up to???

genna

Exactly what I expected.

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips at the Glen (Sunday 1pm from Watkins Glen, NY live on ESPN), IndyCar Series Honda Indy 200 (Sunday 2:30pm from Lexington, OH live on VERSUS)

If my life depended on it, I couldn’t tell you who won last week’s NASCAR race. I’ll go with Terry Labonte. He’s good, right?

Speaking of NASCAR, some guy named Basil Marceaux is running for governor in Tennessee. I think you’ll understand the transition after you watch the video…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hvaeHllwtw[/youtube]

5. Swimming: Conoco Phillips National Championships (Tuesday & Wednesday 9pm live on Universal Sports, Saturday 4pm Sunday 4:30pm on NBC; live webcast throughout at Swimnetwork.com. All swimming from Irvine, CA)

I’ve used all of my Michael Phelps material. Frankly, I’ll just be rooting for the dude at this point. I mean-he’s from Charm City. I want him to win.

Instead, I’ll just post this picture of Amanda Beard. She may or may not still be a swimmer. Like it matters…

amandabeard

4. National Sports Collectors Convention (Thursday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

How about that? For the VERY reasonable price of $110, I can get John Riggins’ autograph!

How about for an additional 40 bucks, I get to put him in a Ric Flair sharpshooter???

I’m sure there are people in the world that are excited about this type of event. I’m just not one of them. Paying money for someone’s signature-or for the chance to take a picture of them-is something I’m COMPLETELY uninterested in. Unless of course that person is John Stamos. Yeah, I’d pay money to meet him…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCOOI9IETCI[/youtube]

For the record, my Fantasy Football team name this year IS Jesse & The Rippers. What else would it be?

3. Tennis: ATP Tour U.S. Open Series Legg Mason Tennis Classic (Tuesday-Sunday William H.G. FitzGerald Tennis Center in Rock Creek Park; Thursday 4pm live on Tennis Channel, Friday 12pm & 7pm live on ESPN2 5pm live on Tennis Channel, Saturday 1pm live on Tennis Channel 7pm live on ESPN2, Sunday 3pm live on ESPN2 8pm live on Tennis Channel)

Yes-of COURSE I’m going to watch tennis this week, even if it means I have to venture into the cesspool that is our nation’s capital. Why? Like you even need to ask…

nalbandian

And you thought you knew what I was going to say there…

2. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 117-Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen (Saturday 10pm from Oakland live on Pay-Per-View)

Anderson Silva is one of the greatest fighters in MMA history.

You could bump into Chael Sonnen at Royal Farms today and have no idea who he was or what he did for a living. (Edit form GMC: Yeah, that’s a variation of a Bert Sugar joke. Deal with it.)

Yet for some reason, Chael Sonnen thinks it appropriate to make comments like these…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFpePVQ68FM[/youtube]

“The Michael Jackson of MMA”…that’s actually really good.

1. Ravens Training Camp (Tuesday, Thursday & Monday 8:45am & 2:45pm, Wednesday & Friday 8:45am & 2pm, Sunday 2:45pm McDaniel College; Saturday 12pm M&T Bank Stadium); Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony (Saturday 7pm from Canton, Ohio live on NFL Network); Hall of Fame Game: Dallas Cowboys vs. Cincinnati Bengals (Sunday 8pm from Canton, Ohio live on NBC)

I know a gal who is a BIG fan of the Dallas Cowboys. I am not. In fact, the only thing we tend to agree about is that the Redskins suck. But with that in mind, I’m not much for the Bengals either. Therefore, the only acceptable result Sunday night would be a scoreless tie.

In the meantime-I will be willing to admit that I find Chad Ochocinco humorous. For example…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHXZ62wwmRE[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 06 July 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-Auto Racing: NASCAR LifeLock.com 400 (Saturday 7:30pm from Chicago live on TNT); WNBA All-Star Game (Saturday 3:30pm from Mohegan Sun, CT live on ESPN)

10. Frankie Beverly & MAZE (Saturday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion), Counting Crows (Monday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Lynyrd Skynyrd/Bret Michaels/38 Special (Friday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Tim McGraw (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Sting (Sunday 8pm Jiffy Lube Live); Pietasters & All Mighty Senators (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Smashing Pumpkins (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Josh Thompson (Saturday 8pm Power Plant Live), Donavon Frankenreiter (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre); “Despicable Me” in theaters (Friday)

Well, I’m going to need tickets to the Counting Crows Monday night. I don’t care how I get them, but someone is going to have to take care of me here. Adam Duritz is NOT coming to town with me missing it. Figure out amongst yourselves who is going to take care of the tickets for me and let me know.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXI7tRWmZ9w[/youtube]

I’m well aware that Skynyrd isn’t nearly the same; but I’d be all for chewing some tobacco, grabbing my confederate flag, and rocking out… (Editor’s Note: I will NOT be doing either of the first two things on that list.)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygausyezIOc[/youtube]

It’s fitting that I just back from Chicago, because the Smashing Pumpkins are also from Chicago. The two are in no ways related, but I had nothing else prepared here. Here’s Tonight Tonight. We’ll talk later.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAS6daVLT5U[/youtube]

9. Lacrosse: MLL All-Star Game (Thursday 7pm from Boston live on ESPN2), Boston Cannons @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3)

You mean to tell me they’re playing a lacrosse all-star game in BOSTON?

Why not just hold next year’s Purple Camo convention in Beantown too???

camos

What do we have left in Charm City?!?!?!?

8. NBA Summer League: Utah Jazz vs. Orlando Magic (Tuesday 1pm), Charlotte Bobcats vs. Oklahoma City Thunder (Tuesday 3pm), Philadelphia 76ers vs. Boston Celtics (Tuesday 5pm), Indiana Pacers vs. New Jersey Nets (Tuesday 7pm), Charlotte Bobcats vs. Boston Celtics (Wednesday 1pm), Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Philadelphia 76ers (Wednesday 3pm), New Jersey Nets vs. Orlando Magic (Wednesday 5pm), Indiana Pacers vs. Utah Jazz (Wednesday 7pm), Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Orlando Magic (Thursday 1pm), Indiana Pacers vs. Boston Celtics (Thursday 3pm), Utah Jazz vs. New Jersey Nets (Thursday 5pm), Philadelphia 76ers vs. Charlotte Bobcats (Thursday 7pm), Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Indiana Pacers (Friday 8am), Philadelphia 76ers vs. Utah Jazz (Friday 10am), New Jersey Nets vs. Boston Celtics (Friday 12pm), Charlotte Bobcats vs. Orlando Magic (Friday 2pm….all games from Orlando live on NBA TV); Denver Nuggets vs. Dallas Mavericks (Friday 4pm), Houston Rockets vs. Phoenix Suns (Friday 6pm), Detroit Pistons vs. Los Angeles Lakers (Friday 8pm), Golden State Warriors vs. New Orleans Hornets (Friday 10pm), Toronto Raptors vs. Phoenix Suns (Saturday 4pm), LA Lakers vs. Denver Nuggets (Saturday 6pm), Detroit Pistons vs. Golden State Warriors (Saturday 8pm), Miami Heat vs. New Orleans Hornets (Saturday 10pm), New York Knicks vs. Denver Nuggets (Sunday 4pm), Portland Trailblazers vs. Houston Rockets (Sunday 6pm), Washington Wizards vs. Golden State Warriors (Sunday 8pm), Miami Heat vs. New Orleans Hornets (Sunday 10pm), LA Lakers vs. New York Knicks (Monday 4pm), Sacramento Kings vs. Detroit Pistons (Monday 6pm), Dallas Mavericks vs. Milwaukee Bucks (Monday 8pm), Washington Wizards vs. LA Clippers (Monday 10pm….all games from Las Vegas live on NBA TV)

Dude…we should TOTALLY go to Vegas…and watch Eric Hayes play some basketball games that have the intensity of your average backyard pickup contest.

Oh, and free agency OFFICIALLY starts this week. You know, AFTER it officially started last week. In fairness, I’d honest to God rather hear daily LeBron James rumors than Kevin Millwood DL rumors. Credit to Mike Polk for this gem that I apologize for not posting before today…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bme-BAnCbXk[/youtube]

7. Pro Wrestling: TNA “Victory Road” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

Velvet Sky is part of TNA. Maybe you should consider watching…

velvet

6. Cycling: Tour De France (Tuesday-Friday 8:30am, Saturday & Sunday 7:30am from France live on VERSUS)

You know, I had thought about getting into cycling growing up. Yep, right up until my first one of these…

kneescrape

But now, if you’re interested in a stationary bike battle, I know just the guy for you. Yep. My roommate (“The Luckiest Dang Roommate on the Face of the Planet”). Don’t bother asking me. If it doesn’t involve Kettle Chips and a big screen TV, I’m not interested.

5. Golf: PGA Tour John Deere Classic (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS; all golf from Silvis, Illinois), LPGA U.S. Women’s Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on ESPN, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Oakmont, PA)

In case you weren’t aware; Oakmont is a suburb of Pittsburgh. However, it is not the first time the women of the LPGA have stopped by. It’s just that the last time, they were trying to escape from Ben Roethlisberger…

bigben

4. Boxing: Jimmy Lange vs. Jimmy LeBlanc (Saturday 7:30pm Patriot Center), Mike Jones vs. Irving Garcia (Friday 11pm from Atlantic City live on Showtime), Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Bernabe Concepcion (Saturday 10pm from Hato Rey, Puerto Rico live on Showtime)

I won’t be attending Jimmy Lange’s fight Saturday night. Not because I don’t love Jimmy Lange, but more because Fairfax is near DC. I’m not sure if you’ve heard, but I’m not too popular in that part of the world these days. HOWEVER, if Jimmy Lange were fighting MATT LeBlanc, I’d be there in a second.  Ol’ “Joey” is still owed an ass-kicking for getting 7 bucks from me for this…

ed

Oh yeah, and while I’m at it….some dude named Mike Jones is fighting this weekend. Please indulge me…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sd0S0LwhEDU[/youtube]

And while we’re on the hip-hop topic, I have yet to learn how to “Dougie.” Can anyone help me with this???

3. College Basketball: Baltimore NCAA Summer League (Tuesday-Thursday 6:30pm Reitz Arena)

Morgan State’s Kevin Thompson and Missouri’s Kimmie English are amongst the college players already committed to participating in the tournament over at Loyola.  I’d go play myself, but apparently they use the WHOLE court. I’m better with just the basket and the automatic returner. Of course, I’m not quite as good as the guy Jimmy Kimmel found hanging out…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmEhHOQgK_Y[/youtube]

2. Indoor Football: AIFA Eastern Conference Championship Game- Harrisburg Stampede @ Baltimore Mariners (Saturday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena); AFL-Tampa Bay Storm @ Dallas Vigilantes (Friday 7:30pm from Dallas live on NFL Network)

Here’s what we know. Harrisburg sucks. I mean, how can you root for a team in the same town that freaking Sccop Stanisic played in?

Plus, the Mariners are undefeated. There’s NO WAY a team can go undefeated and then fall short of a title…

tyree

1. Soccer-World Cup: Uruguay vs. Netherlands (Tuesday 2:30pm from Cape Town, South Africa live on ESPN), Germany vs. Spain (Wednesday 2:30pm from Durban, South Africa live on ESPN), 3rd place match (Saturday 2:30pm from Port Elizabeth, South Africa live on ABC), World Cup Final (Sunday 2:30pm from Johannesburg, South Africa live on ABC); MLS: DC United @ New York Red Bulls (Saturday 7:30pm from Harrison, New Jersey live on Comcast SportsNet & MLS Direct Kick)

Uruguay gave us the Parrillada…

parrillada

The Dutch gave us goofy shoes…

shoes

The Germans gave us Lederhosen…

lederhosen

And the Spanish gave us her…

spanish

So clearly, anything short of Spain-Paraguay Sunday would be totally unacceptable.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 08 June 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); Boxing-Friday Night Fights: David Lemiuex vs. Elvin Ayala (Friday 8:30pm from Montreal live on ESPN2); AHL Calder Cup Finals: Hershey Bears/Texas Stars (Game 4 Wednesday 8:30pm from Austin, TX live on Comcast SportsNet, Game 5 Friday 8:30pm from Austin, TX live on Comcast SportsNet); Golf: PGA Tour St. Jude Classic (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Memphis), LPGA State Farm Classic (Thursday-Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Springfield, IL live on Golf Channel)

10. Foreigner & Styx (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Carole King & James Taylor (Tuesday 8pm Verizon Center), They Might Be Giants (Saturday 1pm Rams Head Live), Chubby Checker (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Talib Kweli & Hi-Tek (Wednesday 9pm Sonar), Rob Schneider (Friday-Sunday DC Improv), Drake (Sunday 9pm 9:30 Club), Conan O’Brien (Tuesday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Jimmy Cliff/Sly & Robbie (Thursday 8pm Wolf Trap)

There are somethings to like here. For example, I could probably repeat every word of the Styx episode of Vh1 Behind The Music. Even I was pissed when Tommy Shaw made fun of “Lady” during Damn Yankees concerts. Oh, and “Renegade” is a FREAKING.GREAT.SONG.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn7nQk5L8B4[/youtube]

I sorta hated Chubby Checker growing up because every time I heard “Limbo Rock” I was reminded that I was a fat kid with no flexibility. Think I had issues? My best friend Matt Besche and I also walked around the halls of Chapel Hill Elementary School grabbing each other’s cheeks and saying “Chubby Checker” for no reason. It was our own secret handshake. Don’t judge, a-holes.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVQ0MXp-8ds[/youtube]

Saying I own the Talib Kweli/Mos Def disc gives me street cred, right? No. Damn. Do I just pretend like I don’t like him then?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVtpXvzzXiA[/youtube]

9. Honfest (Friday-Sunday “The Avenue” in Hampden), Great Grapes! (Saturday & Sunday 12pm Oregon Ridge Park)

In Southern California-girls in bikinis are celebrated.

In Las Vegas, girls in negligee are celebrated.

In Alabama, girls in sexy sundresses are celebrated.

In New York, girls in tight shirts and short skirts are celebrated.

In Hampden….big glasses and bigger hair???

honfest

And to think, some folks wonder why people never leave Charm City…

8. “The A-Team” out in theaters (Friday)

You can say whatever you want. I’m excited. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson might not be “Mr. T”, but I still get excited whenever I just hear the music…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MVonyVSQoM[/youtube]

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips 400 (Sunday 1pm from Brooklyn, MI live on TNT)

I have no idea what is going on in the world of NASCAR. I really don’t. I know Kurt Busch won the races in Charlotte, but I don’t know who won the races at Pocono. TNT showed “Talladega Nights” throughout the day Sunday after they showed the race, and it reminded me that when I saw the trailer for Will Ferrell’s new movie “The Other Guys” before I saw “Get Him to the Greek” Saturday night, I was fairly impressed…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6WOoUG1eNo[/youtube]

He’s fooled me before, but I have a good feeling about this one. At least a better feeling than I had about “Kicking and Screaming.” Ugh.

6. Ravens Passing Camp (Monday-Thursday; availability Tuesday 1 Winning Drive)

PLEASE SOMEONE LET ME KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH DIGGER BUJNOCH!!!

Another radio person in town…who is not REALLY a sports person but does sports now…was out in Owings Mills for Rookie Camp last week. When I asked him why he was there, he said “I love football. I’d watch anyone play football.” He then proceeded to tell me he couldn’t see enough of the field. There were about 25 players on the field. If we’re lucky, a third of them will ever play a snap for the Baltimore Ravens.

Sadly, it remains at LEAST as relevant as anything the Baltimore Orioles are doing right now, including dismissing their manager.

5. Pro Wrestling: TNA Slammiversary (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

There are a couple of reasons to watch TNA’s biggest PPV event of the year, even if your name isn’t Kris Cumberland.

A-I love everything about Rob Van Dam. Seriously, the guy is about as good as it gets.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i-sRAdk7YE[/youtube]

B-The more I found out about Lacey Von Erich (thus far only via image), the more I think I like her…
lve

4. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 115: Chuck Liddell vs. Rich Franklin (Saturday 10pm from Vancouver live on Pay-Per-View); Bellator Fighting Championships XXI (Thursday 8pm from Orlando live on Fox Sports Net)

The reason none of you told me Eric “ButterBean” Esch was fighting in MMA was???

butterbean

Word is he’ll be on “The MMA Report” with John Rallo Tuesday afternoon on AM1570 WNST. In the meantime, the UFC 115 main event was only exciting because Tito Ortiz and Chuck Liddell like legitimately hate each other. Rich Franklin and Chuck Liddell are just legitimately old.

3. NBA Playoffs-NBA Finals: Lakers/Celtics (Game 3 Tuesday 9pm from Boston live on ABC, Game 4 Thursday 9pm from Boston live on ABC, Game 5 Sunday 8pm from Boston live on ABC)

You mean to tell me that the Nate Robinson that is contributing for the C’s these days is the same Nate Robinson that once shot on the wrong basket in New York and pissed off Mike D’Antoni???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOhLgApNrgM[/youtube]

How am I supposed to feel good for the guy? At least he did something cool with David Letterman once…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXvXwtvDuA4[/youtube]

2. NHL Playoffs-Stanley Cup Finals: Flyers/Blackhawks (Game 6 Wednesday 8pm from Philadelphia live on NBC, Game 7 if necessary Friday 8pm from Chicago live on NBC)

I’m sort of ASSUMING that the Blackhawks will clinch the Cup in Philly Wednesday night, but it wouldn’t stun me if the series made it back to the Windy City. If it does, I have half a feeling Michael Jordan will hit the game winning shot to finish things off. It’s just what happens at United Center.

No matter what happens, Patrick Kane better have cooler ideas for what to do with the Cup than Mario Lemieux did…

mario

1. Soccer: Baltimore County World Soccer Festival (Saturday 7:30am, throughout day-Patriot Plaza in Towson); World Cup-South Africa vs. Mexico (Friday 10am from Johannesburg, South Africa live on ESPN), Uruguay vs. France (Friday 2:30pm from Cape Town, South Africa live on ESPN), South Korea vs. Greece (Saturday 7:30am from Port Elizabeth, South Africa live on ESPN), Argentina vs. Nigeria (Saturday 10am from Johannesburg live on ESPN), England vs. United States (Saturday 2:30pm from Rustenburg, South Africa live on ABC), Algeria vs. Slovenia (Sunday 7:30am from Polokwane, South Africa live on ESPN), Serbia vs. Ghana (Sunday 10am from Pretoria, South Africa live on ESPN), Germany vs. Australia (Sunday 2:30pm from Durban, South Africa live on ABC), Netherlands vs. Denmark (Monday 7:30am from Johannesburg live on ESPN), Japan vs. Cameroon (Monday 10am from Bloemfontein, South Africa live on ESPN), Italy vs. Paraguay (Monday 2:30pm from Cape Town live on ESPN); MLS-DC United @ Seattle Sounders (Thursday 10pm from Seattle live on ESPN2)

flag

That is all.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 10 May 2010 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Tennis-Madrid Open (Tuesday-Saturday 8am, Sunday FINAL 12:30pm from Madrid live on Tennis Channel); Golf: PGA Valero Texas Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from San Antonio.), Champions Tour Regions Charity Classic (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Hoover, AL on Golf Channel), Bell Micro LPGA Classic (Thursday 6:30pm, Friday 12pm, Saturday & Sunday 4pm from Mobile, AL live on Golf Channel); Soccer: MLS-Colorado Rapids @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet); Women’s NCAA Lacrosse Tournament: Marist @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm College Park), Towson @ Virginia (Sunday 1pm Charlottesville); MIAA High School Lacrosse: Loyola Blakefield @ Boys’ Latin (Wednesday 4pm), Mt. St. Joseph @ St. Paul’s (Wednesday 4pm); Robin Hood out in theaters (Friday)

10. Swimming: Charlotte UltraSwim (Friday-Sunday 6pm from Charlotte live on Universal Sports)

Do I have a “Michael Phelps is headed back to the pool so I should make a pot joke” joke prepared? I do not.

Instead, I pass this along. I don’t know who Chloe Sutton is (you know, other than the fact that she’s a swimmer participating in this Charlotte event), but I think I like her…

sutton

…you know, she seems nice.

9. Pro Wrestling: TNA Sacrifice (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

Reasons to watch a TNA Pay-Per-View:

A. Rob Van Dam is AWESOME.

B. Jeff Hardy is also AWESOME.

C. The chicks are hot.

D. WOOOO!!!!!

flair

8. Auto Racing: NASCAR Autism Speaks 400 (Sunday 1pm from Dover live on FOX)

If you’re piling on the Rex Snider bus and headed up to The Monster Mile this weekend, please say hello to this guy for me while you’re there…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTdWCebQIME[/youtube]

Oh, and then ask Dad to try to remember to wear pants on Mother’s Day next year…geez.

7. NHL Playoffs: Blackhawks/Canucks (Game 6 Tuesday 9:30pm from Vancouver live on VERSUS, Game 7 if necessary Thursday 8pm from Chicago live on VERSUS); Canadiens/Penguins (Game 7 Wednesday 7pm from Pittsburgh live on VERSUS); Bruins/Flyers (Game 6 Wednesday 8pm from Philadelphia live on VERSUS, Game 7 if necessary Friday 7pm from Boston live on VERSUS)

You mean to tell me the Habs have a chance to make BOTH the fans in the Steel City AND the fans in Washington completely miserable in the same postseason?!?!?

I have never supported anything from Canada they way I now support the Canadiens. Like my pal Sam Angell said via Facebook, do it for Youppi!!!

youppi

6. NBA Playoffs: Cavaliers/Celtics (Game 5 Tuesday 8pm from Cleveland live on TNT, Game 6 Thursday 8pm from Boston live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday 3:30pm from Cleveland live on ABC)

Boy, the 2nd round of the NBA Playoffs have sure been…uhh…dreadful???

I was gonna root for the Atlanta Hawks because Joe Smith is down there-but…apparently no one informed them that they beat the Bucks and actually ADVANCED to the next round. You would have thought a courtesy call would have at least been nice.

You don’t need to wonder about who I AM rooting for, as it is rather obvious. VIVA.LOS.SUNS!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJa0SJlEZRk[/youtube]

5. MMA-Strikeforce: Heavy Artillery (Saturday 10pm from St. Louis live on Showtime), Bellator Fighting Championships XVIII (Thursday 8pm from Monroe, LA live on Fox Sports Net); Boxing-Amir Khan vs. Paulie Malignaggi (Saturday 9:45pm from New York live on HBO)

BRETT ROGERS BRETT ROGERS BRETT ROGERS BRETT ROGERS BRETT ROGERS BRETT ROGERS!!!!!!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yoePu0dpUxM[/youtube]

Look, I’m well aware that he lost to Fedor, but let’s be honest here…he DIDN’T lose my heart. I LOVE “The Grim.”

4. NCAA Lacrosse Tournament: Hofstra @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU), Johns Hopkins @ Duke (Saturday 12pm from Durham live on ESPN), Loyola @ Cornell (Saturday 2:30pm from Ithica, NY live on ESPNU), Mt. St. Mary’s @ Virginia (Saturday 7:30pm from Charlottesville live on ESPNU); D3 Tournament: Cabrini/Denison winner @ Stevenson (Saturday 1pm Caves Athletic Complex)

I don’t mind that the Terps got Hofstra in Round 1 at all. Folks on Long Island are fairly easy to dislike, so I’ve got that under control. But…Hopkins playing Duke? Is there any way BOTH teams can lose???

(Edit from GMC: Of COURSE I’d prefer the Blue Devils lost, I just have to keep up appearances as a Blue Jays-hating fan of the Terrapins. It’s how things work.)

So with that in mind…you’re going down, Duke!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImvjOVOh_30[/youtube]

3. Preakness Week Events: Pee Wee Preakness (Tuesday 11am Federal Hill), Preakness Frog Hop (Wednesday 12pm Patterson Park), Preakness Alibi Breakfast (Thursday 9:30am Pimlico), Preakness Crab Derby (Thursday 12pm Lexington Market), Hot Air Balloon Festival (Thursday & Friday 3pm Turf Valley), Preakness Parade (Friday 8:30pm Inner Harbor)

This is what I know…I’ll be enjoying about 3-4,765 of THESE this week…

bes

And while we don’t have a WHOLE lot of things going on better than the Kentucky Derby; I do know this much…

Black-Eyed Susans >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Mint Juleps

2. Infieldfest feat. O.A.R., Zac Brown Band, Collective Soul & Mr. Greengenes (Saturday all day Pimlico), Sugarland (Sunday 6:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Corinne Bailey Rae (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Puddle of Mudd & Adelita’s Way (Thursday 8pm Power Plant Live), Pearl Jam (Thursday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Sister Hazel (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club)

EVERYTHING to like on this list…

First of all, the Maryland Jockey Club couldn’t have done better than O.A.R. EVER for Saturday…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tH3t5ScK2Oc[/youtube]

Plus, Zac Brown Band is pretty good too…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lB8Nkn3Xjes[/youtube]

And Mr. Greengenes can even DO O.A.R……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_rPXjlvc8U[/youtube]

And as far as Sister Hazel is concerned…I mean…come on…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f46ulX6uwGc[/youtube]

1. Preakness (Saturday 6pm from Pimlico live on NBC), Black-Eyed Susan Stakes (Friday 5pm from Pimlico live on HRTV), Preakness Post Position Draw (Wednesday 5pm Turfside Terrace live on HRTV)

I’ll save you my “I’m picking Sarah Jessica Parker this year” comments. I mean, I AM…but it’s completely irrelevant.

The only real question left for me is whether or not to wear the same attire to Pimlico Saturday that I wore to Churchill Downs. Your call…

derby

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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