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The 15-7-0 is still mathematically alive to win the NFC East

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The 15-7-0 is still mathematically alive to win the NFC East

Posted on 16 December 2013 by Glenn Clark

15 positive observations from the weekend of football, seven not so positive observations and we acknowledge a “zero” from outside the world of football. A reminder, there’s never any Ravens game analysis here. We do plenty of that elsewhere. It’s a trip through the weekend of football via videos, GIFs, memes, pictures, links, Tweets and shtick.

The 15-7-0 was unthinkably overlooked when the list of the Golden Globe Award nominees was announced. And to think, the performance it gave as “Cord Phelps” in “You Mean You Don’t See It?: The Emotional Story of the Orioles’ Offseason” was particularly breathtaking.

15 Positive Observations…

1. Let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way so that we can take like twelve showers and then move on with our lives. We don’t want to say it but we know we have to considering the playoff picture. Okay. Here goes. This is going to suck. Ahem. “Thank You Ste………………………..ve Jobs for inventing the iPad that told me the Bengals lost Sunday night.” Look. You and I both knew this was going to be far too weird to actually say.

Has there ever been a more awkward 10 seconds in the history of television than when NBC  panned to Dan Rooney and no one knew if he was alive?

The Bengals had to spend the night in Pittsburgh getting their asses kicked by a rival and yet somehow it was worse for their punter.

Here’s a two time Super Bowl champion rocking sweatpants.

2. Jamaal Charles posted something in the neighborhood of 5,698,432,921,023,557,806 fantasy points Sunday. It’s more fun to talk about it because when we get to this part of the show Monday I will be able to watch the depressed expression on Ryan Chell’s face when he discusses the guy who knocked him out of the fantasy football playoffs. I live a twisted life.

Charles had three more TD’s than this Raiders fan had middle fingers.

Chiefs fans? Not much friendlier.

The game was lopsided, then not lopsided, then lopsided again so KC’s coaching staff tried to poke in and watch the end of the Patriots game instead.

3. Make it 12 in a row for Navy over Army now. Or as Secretary of the Navy Ray Mabus told me Saturday, “we’re going to be very humble about this and take it one decade at a time”. Yes, the entire point of #3 was to remind you guys that I talked to the Secretary of the Navy Saturday. ARE YOU PROUD OF ME NOW, DAD? What’s that? You are? You always have been? You tell me you’re proud of me most every day? I should probably have gone another direction in my comments. Carry on.

Here’s proof!

Now here’s the most patriotic picture you’ll ever see.

Except for this one.

4. Jay Cutler really put things together nicely in the second half after struggling early to lead the Bears to a really important win over the Browns. In fact, he was so good that he reminded me of a guy that used to play for Chicago awhile back. You ever heard of this guy? Josh McCown? That guy was really good. Whatever happened to him? I bet a team pushing for the playoffs would want to have him.

Bears fans were told not to wear their jerseys when they went to Cleveland. They didn’t fully understand the message.

Jay Cutler got a kiss from Brandon Marshall, which we can only hope isn’t B-Marsh trying to throw him off the scent of secretly stealing his wife’s breast milk.

Alshon Jeffery is stupid good. STUPID GOOD.

5. I wouldn’t necessarily encourage other coaches to use Joe Philbin’s “mass turmoil because of one of the biggest scandals in the history of the sport that lead to losing almost half of our offensive line in order to make us better” strategy with their own teams, but you have to applaud his boldness to try something different.

They won the game, so they can laugh at this-right?

Is hugging the guy who just scored the winner for your team worth losing your beer over?

Something we learned in this game? Julian Edelman dresses the same as Lingerie Football League quarterback Angela Rypien.

(Continued on Page 2…)

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The 15-7-0 is unseasonably hotter than the Patriots’ offense

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The 15-7-0 is unseasonably hotter than the Patriots’ offense

Posted on 07 October 2013 by Glenn Clark

15 positive observations from the weekend of football, seven not so positive observations and we acknowledge a “zero” from outside the world of football. A reminder, there’s never any Ravens game analysis here. We do plenty of that elsewhere. It’s a trip through the weekend of football via videos, GIFs, memes, pictures, links, Tweets and shtick.

If there ever is a Fall in the great state of Maryland, don’t worry about having to pay to heat your home. Just read the 15-7-0 and your heart will be warmed for seven whole days*!

(*This is a fact proven by science**.)
(**Even if you don’t think this is a proven fact there’s nothing you can do about it because there is no government so no one can say otherwise. HAHA, jerks.)

15 Positive Observations…

1. Peyton Manning is better at real football than Tony Romo is at fantasy football. There is perhaps no more significant thing that can be said about someone.

Both quarterbacks were awesome Sunday; but one was victorious while the other was picked by Danny Trejo. You probably already know which is which.

I like to think that Peyton Manning threw an interception in this one because he desperately longed to know what the other side felt like.

There was also a moment where he did this.

In a related story, what the sh*t is this man doing?

2. Ohio State has been tested in each of the last two weeks and came up aces. Did anyone check to make sure they didn’t tattoo the answers on the inside of their eyelids?

Something weird happened at the end of the game. I’ll let Brent Musberger explain.

College Gameday was in Evanston before this one, and someone brought a giant Mr. Feeney head, so obviously Gameday should never be anywhere else.

3. At the end of the Navy/Air Force game I had a strong desire to give every Midshipman a hug. And also to punch every Congressman in the nads.

And if it’s a Navy win, that means it’s a Navy motivational video!

Also, I wasn’t able to get one of these at the game Saturday. I would REALLY like it if someone else got me one.

4. If you didn’t have Peyton Manning or Tony Romo on your fantasy team this weekend, I believe the next best bet was Mason Crosby.

And unfortunately if you own Brandon Pettigrew, no points for hurdles.

You DO however get points for James Jones making big plays.

Also Brad Jones did…something.

5. After all of the embarrassment and shame Paris brought upon their family, you have to feel good that young T.Y. has given the Hiltons something to be proud of again.

You think “TY” stands for “Time (to) YOLO”?

Little known fact: the Colts’ Mario Harvey HATES PUNTERS.

(Continued on Page 2…)

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The Five Plays That Determined The Game-Ravens/Cowboys

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The Five Plays That Determined The Game-Ravens/Cowboys

Posted on 16 October 2012 by Glenn Clark

Following every Baltimore Ravens game this season, Ryan Chell and I will take to the airwaves Tuesdays on “The Reality Check” on AM1570 WNST.net with a segment known as “The Five Plays That Determined The Game.”

It’s a simple concept. We’ll select five plays from each game that determined the outcome. These five plays will best represent why the Ravens won or lost each game.

This will be our final analysis of the previous game before switching gears towards the next game on the schedule.

Here are the five plays that determined the Ravens’ 31-29 win over the Dallas Cowboys Sunday at M&T Bank Stadium…

(Note: not all pictures are always of actual play)

Glenn Clark’s Plays…

5. Dez Bryant drops pass from Tony Romo on two point conversion attempt (4th quarter)

4. Jacoby Jones 108 yard kickoff return TD (3rd quarter)

3. Anquan Boldin 20 yard catch from Joe Flacco on 3rd & 14 (2nd quarter)

2. Cary Williams intercepts Tony Romo at Ravens 20 (2nd quarter)

1. Dan Bailey misses 51 yard field goal WIDE LEFT (4th quarter)

(Ryan’s Plays on Page 2…)

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Cowboys gift-wrap a win for the Ravens

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Cowboys gift-wrap a win for the Ravens

Posted on 14 October 2012 by Drew Forrester

Unless you’re just looking to be a contrarian – and if you are, that’s cool – you’d have to say Sunday’s 31-29 win over the Cowboys goes down, currently, as the luckiest win in Ravens history.

I’m not talking a little lucky.

I’m not saying it’s even of the “boy, we really got lucky today” variety.

This one was, “There’s absolutely no way in hell we should have won that game.  Can you believe we did?  We’re lucky as s**t to win today.”

Consider this:  The Cowboys had the ball for 40:03.  In case you forgot, the game is 60:00 in length.  The Ravens, then, had it for a mere 19:57.

Speaking of offense, the Cowboys riddled the Ravens for 27 first downs (and 3 more due to Baltimore penalties).  The Ravens offense managed 18 first downs.

Dallas ran for more yards (227) against the Ravens than any team has — ever.  As in, since the team came to Baltimore in 1996 ever.  The Cowboys ran the ball so well that Baltimore Marathon officials showed up afterwards with medals-of-completion for all of the Dallas running backs who carried the ball on Sunday.

The Cowboys rang up 481 yards of offense on the Ravens.  They drove the ball 80 yards in the final 4:41 and scored a touchdown to narrow the gap to 31-29.  Then, the guy who had tortured the Baltimore defense throughout the afternoon inexplicably dropped the 2-point conversion with 32 seconds left.

Game over, right?

Wrong.

The Dallas special teams unit did the unthinkable, recovering the onside kick when the ball slithered through the normally sure-fire hands of the Ravens Brendon Ayanbadejo.

And the Cowboys then moved the ball down the field, reaching the Baltimore 34 yard line with 26 seconds remaining.  What happened then was precisely why Dallas doesn’t have a very good football team.

Tony Romo found Dez Bryant for a one-yard gain to bring up 2nd down.  Armed with one time-out, there were gobs of options presented to the Cowboys at that point.  Romo could have thrown the ball into the dirt, saved a time-out, and used a moment to get his offense together for a 3rd down running play that, if nothing else, would have moved the ball into the middle of the field for kicker Dan Bailey. Romo could have hustled his offense to the line of scrimmage and thrown a sideline pass to give his team a shorter kick.  He could have called time-out with 20 seconds to play to figure out how to attack the remaining seconds and get his team in the best position for the winning kick.

(Please see next page for more)

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A Dirty Dozen for the Defense

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A Dirty Dozen for the Defense

Posted on 02 August 2012 by Thyrl Nelson

Earlier in the week I posed the question, “Are the Ravens set up for success on offense?” While the answer is absolutely subjective, I’d venture to say that the real answer is that they better be. In hindsight we can see that whatever shortcomings we perceived in the Ravens offense in 2011 have to be viewed through the filter of the gamut of high caliber pass defenses that they had to deal with along the way. This year it appears that the shoe may be on the other foot, or more aptly, on the other side of the ball as the Ravens look to have to deal with a lot of scary offensive propositions in 2012. If there ever were a good time to have to deal with the defection and absence of defensive talent that the Ravens have recently undergone, 2012 certainly doesn’t appear to be it.

Here’s a look at the 12 scariest players that the Ravens defense will have to contend with in 2012:

 

Honorable Mentions (in no particular order):

 

Quarterbacks: Ben Roethlisberger, Matt Schaub, Carson Palmer, Robert Griffin III, Andy Dalton

 

Running Backs: Benjarvus Green-Ellis, Lesean McCoy, Ryan Matthews, DeMarco Murray, Willis McGahee

 

Pass Catchers: Jermaine Gresham, Jeremy Maclin, DeSean Jackson, Aaron Hernandez, Dwayne Bowe, Dez Bryant, Miles Austin, Mike Wallace, Antonio Brown, Hakeem Nicks, Victor Cruz, Wes Welker, Antonio Gates, Malcolm Floyd

 

 

#12 – Peyton Manning (DEN) – There are no offensive stats to base this on from last season and Manning’s health is still a huge question, but the reputed Ravens killer is a scary proposition until he proves that he isn’t. There are some serious questions about how easily he’ll find his way in a new offense and on a new team, but make no mistake, if Manning is healthy and surrounded by 10 warm bodies he’ll likely be tough to deal with for the Ravens as usual.

 

 

#11 – Darren McFadden (OAK) – It’ll be week 10 before the Ravens cross paths with McFadden, and history suggests that there’s a decent chance McFadden could be hurt and/or on the shelf by that time. That might be the Ravens best hope at containing him. When healthy McFadden is a scary combination of speed and muscle. He’s explosive inside the tackles and outside and at his best McFadden has a skill set that’s eerily similar to Maurice Jones-Drew who had a field day against the Ravens last season.

 

 

#10 – Philip Rivers (SD) – Whether you agree that Rivers is worthy of being regarded as a top 5 to 7 quarterback in the league or not, it’s hard to argue that last year was a disappointing one for both he and the Chargers. Still, in the midst of all that struggle, Rivers and crew had their way against the Ravens in San Diego last season. Traveling coast to coast is never easy in the NFL, and neither is facing Rivers and co. in the final weeks of the season. All of that could make for a scary storm of circumstances for the Ravens as they travel west to San Diego in week 12.

 

 

#9 – Trent Richardson (CLE) – The profile and value of the NFL running back in general has taken a substantial hit in recent seasons, evidenced perhaps no better than in the love (or lack thereof) that ball carriers have gotten on draft day. When it comes to Richardson however there was no hesitation from NFL execs in casting him near the tops of their draft boards. Of course as a rookie there’ll be no shortage of question marks and growing pains for the young, prospective bell cow, but in having to see him twice the Trent Richardson fear factor goes up exponentially.

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