3:15pm update: I figured we should take a look at the roster, based on what we know/assume:

(Edit from GMC: When I say “DEFINITELY”, I am saying that either based on the fact that a player was never on the bubble to begin with, or based on news we have heard today.)

There are DEFINITELY 2 QB’s on the roster (Joe Flacco, Marc Bulger)
There are DEFINITELY 4 RB’s on the roster (Ray Rice, Willis McGahee, Le’Ron McClain, Jalen Parmele)
There are DEFINITELY 5 WR’s on the roster (Anquan Boldin, Derrick Mason, Mark Clayton, David Reed, Donte’ Stallworth)
There are DEFINITELY 3 TE’s on the roster (Todd Heap, Ed Dickson, Dennis Pitta)
There are DEFINITELY 9 OL’s on the roster (Michael Oher, Jared Gaither, Matt Birk, Ben Grubbs, Marshal Yanda, Chris Chester, Oniel Cousins, Tony Moll, Ramon Harewood)
There are DEFINITELY 8 DL’s on the roster (Haloti Ngata, Kelly Gregg, Trevor Pryce, Cory Redding, Terrence Cody, Brandon McKinney, Arthur Jones, Paul Kruger)
There are DEFINITELY 6 LB’s on the roster (Ray Lewis, Terrell Suggs, Jarret Johnson, Jameel McClain, Dannell Ellerbe, Tavares Gooden)
There are DEFINITELY 4 CB’s on the roster (Fabian Washington, Chris Carr, Josh Wilson, Lardarius Webb)
There are DEFINITELY 3 S’s on the roster (Dawan Landry, Tom Zbikowski, Haruki Nakamura)
There are DEFINITELY 3 ST’s on the roster (Sam Koch, Morgan Cox, Billy Cundiff)

So as of right now, 47 of 53 roster spots are spoken for. Players on the list above could still be traded away (like Antwan Barnes was earlier today). But if not, six jobs would still be available. The bubble players who have not been accounted for include:

QB Troy Smith, WR Demetrius Williams, WR Marcus Smith, OT Joe Reitz, DT Lamar Divens, LB Prescott Burgess, LB Jason Phillips, S KJ Gerard, S Ken Hamlin.

The Ravens could also acquire other players before 6pm.

2:50pm update: A reminder that the Ravens will NOT be having formal media availability today with Ozzie Newsome or John Harbaugh. Instead, we will merely get an official release from the team at 6pm, and Harbaugh will be made available to the media again Monday.

Curtis Steele did not have any realistic chance of making the 53 man roster, but NFP confirms he indeed was cut. Like the others we mentioned below, he’s a very realistic practice squad candidate.

Oh-and Trice Capra lost 6-0, 6-0. What’s worse? CBS says she’s considering a scholarship offer from Duke. Apparently she doesn’t think there’s a future with Glenn Clark.

1:45pm update: National Football Post now reports that the Ravens have placed both OL David Hale (tailbone) and DT Kelly Talavou (ACL) on IR. Hale is not surprising at all, but Talavou is. Talavou was hurt in Thursday night’s loss to the St. Louis Rams; coach John Harbaugh declined to comment on the injury when asked by media assembled in Owings Mills Friday.

Hale’s injury likely paved the way for Ramon Harewood to make the roster. Chris Chester now defaults back to being the team’s backup center as well as the 3rd guard.

Talavou’s injury likely helped Arthur Jones make the roster. Still no word yet re: Lamar Divens; there’s an outside chance it could help him make the roster as well.

Also, RB/KR Jalen Parmele was probably never even “on the bubble”, but a NFL source tells me he’s safe. Now you know.

And one more thing-Baltimore’s Trice Capra lost the first set 6-0 to Maria Sharapova. I might start drinking early today.
————————–
It’s 1pm, and I’m overwhelmed by the amount of college football and U.S. Open tennis on TV today. That being said, there are a number of moves being made by the Baltimore Ravens today as they work towards the NFL deadline to have 53 players on their active roster. Here’s what we know thus far…

-National Football Post has reported that K Shayne Graham has been cut and K Billy Cundiff has won the kicking battle. There could be a number of factors (both football and non-football related) involved with this move. Football-wise, Cundiff had hung with Graham throughout Training Camp on field goals, and appeared to get more distance than Graham on kickoffs. Outside of football, there were some off-field concerns with Graham-and he almost certainly would have made more money than Cundiff.

-WNST.net first reported (follow us on Twitter @WNST) that rookie DT Arthur Jones had made the team. No word on other bubble players on the D-Line, including DT’s Kelly Talavou and Lamar Divens. DT Brandon McKinney was not believed to be on the bubble.

-NFP also reported earlier in the day that rookie OT Ramon Harewood had made the team. This was more than a bit surprising, but could reflect the injury issues the Ravens currently have on the O-Line. With OT Jared Gaither a question mark (back), OT Oniel Cousins (concussion) just getting back to the practice field Friday and OL David Hale (tailbone) still an IR possibility-the team may just well need the depth.

-The Ravens have announced they have traded LB Antwan Barnes to the Philadelphia Eagles for a pick in the 2011 NFL Draft. This is also surprising, as the Ravens do not have tremendous depth at OLB. This could be good news for one of the bubble guys at ILB (Jason Phillips, Prescott Burgess) or OLB bubble man Edgar Jones. It could also reflect a belief that Sergio Kindle could be able to return this season; he is currently in Charm City meeting with neurologists. NFP says Phillips and Burgess are “probably safe.”

-ProFootballTalk/NBC Sports first reported CB Travis Fisher had been cut by the Ravens; while NFP reported Prince Miller had also been cut. This likely means good news for CB KJ Gerard and could also be good news for S Ken Hamlin. The Ravens confirmed yesterday that S Ed Reed would open the season on the Physically Unable to Perform (PUP) list.

-There have been rumors floating by ESPN and others regarding the status of QB Troy Smith-rumors have included Smith could be traded or released. There have also been rumors floating surrounding WR Marcus Smith, none have been confirmed. WR David Reed has made the team according to multiple sources.

-A number of other players have also been cut. WNST confirms WR Eron Riley was cut, while NFP reported TE Davon Drew, DE/LB Albert McClellan, TE Davon Drew, CB Chris Hawkins and OT Devin Tyler were cut. None were believed to be roster possibilities, but all could be practice squad options.

I will continue to update as updates are available.

-G

It might not look like NFL football, but technically it will be. The Baltimore Ravens visit the St. Louis Rams tonight at Edward Jones Dome, kickoff is at 8pm. We chose to pass on the St. Louis trip, mostly because the Ravens are going to choose to pass on playing the majority of their starters in tonight’s game.

With that being said, the game can be seen tonight on WBAL11, and I will be following along from my couch in Rosedale. Other WNST and WNST.net personalities will be joining me in tonight’s “Purple Haze” chat, which begins at 8pm and you can join HERE. I’m sure there will be Orioles discussion, as well as college football and U.S. Open talk-at least if I have my way.

Troy Smith is expected to start at QB for the Ravens and play all four quarters. The Rams are expected to start rookie QB Sam Bradford and have their starters in the game for about 15 snaps. Smith is one of many Ravens players fighting for a roster spot as Saturday’s deadline for NFL teams to get to 53 players looms. Other players squarely on the bubble include WR’s Demetrius Williams, David Reed and Marcus Smith, TE Davon Drew, OL David Hale, OT’s Ramon Harewood and Joe Reitz, DT’s Kelly Talavou, Arthur Jones and Lamar Divens; LB’s Jason Phillips, Edgar Jones and Prescott Burgess; CB’s Travis Fisher and Prince Miller and S’s Ken Hamlin and KJ Gerard. Kickers Billy Cundiff and Shayne Graham are still in a heated battle for a roster spot as well.

The Rams have announced that the following players will be deactivated tonight:

QB AJ Feeley
RB Steven Jackson
WR Laurent Robinson
DE James Hall
LB Na’il Diggs
S James Butler

The Rams have announced that Kenneth Darby will start for Jackson, Keenan Burton will start for Robinson, David Vobora for Diggs. Danny Amendola will start for Donnie Avery, who the team placed on IR earlier in the week.

The Ravens have announced (via the Twitter account of their own Mike Duffy) that there will not be any inactives announced tonight. However, it is safe to expect that almost all starters as well as other injured players will not play tonight.

Look forward to chatting with you at 8pm!

-G

Happy Thursday!

It’s a (semi) Happy Thursday for me, because the bad news is that Andy Roddick suffered his annual collapse last night at the U.S. Open in Flushing Meadows. My alcohol consumption during the match was at an all-time high. As soon as Tipsarevic went up 0-40 on A-Rod’s serve to close the 2nd I knew something bad was happening.

BUT…it isn’t all bad news. For example, if you happened to poke over to MASN2 last night, you might have seen something more awesome than even WWE can offer…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKZk88o4ppw[/youtube]

For the record, Gaby Sanchez’s clothesline > Edge’s spear.

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP’s David Ginsburg says Orioles got to Jon Lester early, but Red Sox rallied to win at Oriole Park at Camden Yards

When the Orioles scored four runs in the first inning against Jon Lester, I thought to myself (and asked on via Twitter @WNST) if anyone had a weather report for hell. I was assuming freezing rain myself.

Sadly, Jon Lester turned back into Jon Lester at some point, and the Orioles bullpen that has been very good as of late turned back into the Orioles bullpen that wasn’t even a little bit good for stretches this season. Mark Hendrickson and Alfredo Simon were about as good as…Mark Hendrickson and Alfredo Simon.

(Edit from GMC: That’s not really fair. Mark Hendrickson was good for the vast majority of the season. But that doesn’t really help my point, so I won’t mention it.)

Remember August? August was really good for the Orioles. Maybe if we can find a Hot Tub Time Machine we could go back to then…

2. The AP/WNST.net offer numerical evidence of loss

The good? Felix Pie had a pair of doubles and Adam Jones had a double, 2 RBI and scored a run. Also, Ty Wigginton went 2-3, scoring a run and driving in another.

The bad? While Jake Arrieta gave up just 3 earned runs on 6 hits and didn’t walk anyone, he was also pulled after 5 innings after having already thrown 95 pitches.

You don’t want to look at the numbers. Instead, check out Hope Dworaczyk. This will be much more fun. Thanks, The Smoking Jacket!

3. WNST.net’s Ryan Chell says O’s called up Brandon Snyder, Nolan Reimold, Robert Andino

And for some reason, Reimold was in the lineup last night facing Jon Lester. Luke Scott was not.

(Edit from GMC: I know there was a “reason”. Spare me.)

Word is that Chris Tillman, Rick VandenHurk and Troy Patton are going to follow this group. If this doesn’t sell tickets for Sunday afternoon against the Rays, I’m not sure what will. In fact, I’m pretty sure Rick VandenHurk bobblehead night will be September 15th.

It will be good to see these guys on the field a little bit for the next few weeks, at least for as much as I’ll actually be watching. My guess is that I won’t really be watching that much. I’ve got tennis for the next 10 days and college football starts tonight. You really think I’m going to bother with baseball?

4. WNST.net’s Drew Forrester says Birds playing games in September that ‘almost’ matter

I don’t think “almost” is an appropriate term here. I think the more appropriate term is “sorta.”

The fact is, the Orioles are 34 games behind the Yankees in the AL East. They’re not even in the REALM of “almost.”

But there are some things about this September that make it “sorta” meaningful. Extending a good month into a strong close to the season helps in changing the culture in Charm City. Having a good month and then tanking again anyway makes fans think to themselves “same old Orioles.”

It’s “sorta” meaningful. The games are completely irrelevant in terms of baseball, but the end of the season could help in trying to cultivate a dead baseball environment in this area.

To REALLY change the baseball environment in this town, a team would have to win THROUGHOUT the season. Not just for a month-or even two.

5. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Joel Guzman crushed 32nd home run for Bowie Baysox in win over Altoona Curve on farm

And before we move on from the Orioles, a few things.

-The Birds and BoSox wrap their 3 game series with a rubber match tonight at OPACY. Brad Bergesen faces Daisuke Matsuzaka, first pitch is at 7:05pm and the game can be seen on MASN.

-Adam Jones was forced to leave last night’s game with back pain still stemming from being hit by a Gavin Floyd pitch last week. It still doesn’t appear to be a long-term concern, but it’s still an issue a week removed.

-Multiple reports (including MLB.com) say David Hernandez is about a week or so away from returning. That’s good news. But you already knew that.

6. WNST.net’s Glenn Clark says Ravens placed Mike McLaughlin on IR to make room for Josh Wilson on roster

And if he hadn’t ended up on IR, the practice squad would have been the other possible destination for McLaughlin. He was an undrafted LB out of Boston College who the Ravens decided to move to FB-which he hadn’t played since high school. He was AT BEST a longshot to make the roster, but will buy himself some time to continue developing over the next year now that he’s on IR.

Of course, if the Ravens were going to make room on the roster for someone-I sorta wish it had been Izabel Goulart. Thanks, Guyism!

7. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Ryan Mink says Ravens’ game tonight big for bubble guys like Prince Miller, Demetrius Williams, David Reed

I will admit that I’d still be a bit surprised just to see Demetrius Willliams on the field tonight. I know he returned to practice this week and is sort of a “bubble” guy, but it looks more and more like he almost HAS to make the roster-and there doesn’t seem to be anything smart about playing a roster guy with a bad ankle on a terrible carpet.

Prince Miller’s road to the roster got much longer when the Ravens acquired Josh Wilson. Not only does Wilson give the Ravens necessary depth at CB, but he could free up Chris Carr to return punts. Miller will get the chance tonight, but Carr could very well end up being the guy in the regular season. Reed could be in trouble as well-as it looks like he’s behind both Williams and Marcus Smith on the depth chart.

8. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Troy Smith fighting for final roster spot

And you will see PLENTY of the former Heisman Trophy winner tonight. As I’ve said throughout the week on AM1570, expect 4 quarters of Smith tonight-similar to how John Beck went 4 quarters against the Atlanta Falcons last year.

Before we move on from the Ravens, a few things…

-The Ravens and St. Louis Rams get together at Edward Jones Dome tonight. Kickoff is at 8pm and the game can be seen live on WBAL11 locally. I’ll be joining Thyrl Nelson at 12:30 pm on “The Mobtown Sports Beat” and Rex Snider at 4:30 on “The Afternoon Drive” to preview the game.

-Did you miss Rams color analyst (and former Super Bowl champion) D’Marco Farr with Drew Forrester this morning on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST? Make sure you head over to the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net today to check it out. Some other stuff you can hear in the Audio Vault includes…

• Brian Billick (Former Ravens coach and WNST part owner)-who joined Drew this morning to discuss his “man crush” on Aaron Rodgers (didn’t he have a man crush on another QB from Cal?) and all things NFL
• Mark Mravich (SI NFL Editor)-who discussed the SI NFL Preview Issue with Drew, including Peter King’s choice of the Pittsburgh Steelers to reach the Super Bowl
• Paul Azinger (former PGA Championship winner)-who discusses his new book “Cracking the Code” with Drew-a book about being the captain of the 2008 Ryder Cup winning US team
• Peter Schrager (FoxSports.com)-who joined Drew to preview College Football season, which starts tonight.

It’s all in the Audio Vault. Get there today, and as always-YOU’RE WELCOME!

9. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens picks Navy to beat Maryland 31-24 Monday at M&T Bank Stadium

I haven’t decided exactly what my pick will be just yet (I’ll announce it tomorrow), but my guess is that I’ll end up picking the Mids by at least 10 points myself.

Speaking of the number 10, here’s a picture of Arianny Celeste from Maxim via NextRound.net….

10. TowsonTigers.com previews tonight’s season opener at Indiana Hoosiers

If this was Villanova or another good CAA team, the conference would have a real chance to score a major upset. However, it is not-so I’ll take IU at about a 31-6 clip.

The game can be seen live on the Big Ten Network. Matt Devlin, Derek Rackley and Stacy Paetz are on the call.

And finally, I leave you with this.

Via Deadspin, here’s a photo of Joakim Noah golfing. That’s all you need to know.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Happy Wednesday!

It’s a Happy Wednesday for me because…well it just is, damnit. And oh yeah, it’s time for me to name this week’s “Greatest Song(s) of All Time This Week.”

The NEW version this week goes to Gyptian for the song “Hold Yuh.” Apparently the song’s been around for a few months, so I found out via Facebook that I’m not that hip. Like I didn’t know that before…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhT_e6D3DeA[/youtube]

The RETRO “Greatest Song of All Time This Week” is Counting Crows’ “American Girls.” What an underrated freaking song…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PJ_MUfryl-w[/youtube]

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. WNST.net’s Luke Jones says Ravens acquire CB Josh Wilson from Seattle Seahawks for 2011 NFL Draft pick

My initial thought on the trade?

“Good move.”

That feeling hasn’t changed.

Look, Josh Wilson is NOT going to be confused for Chris McAlister (at least not Chris McAlister in his prime) at any point. But Josh Wilson has started 24 of the last 28 games in the Emerald City, and has pulled down six interceptions over the last two years.

This acquisition does a number of things for the Ravens. My guess is that the departure of Travis Fisher will come soon after. I had thought Fisher would hold a roster spot until Cary Williams was ready to return, but they don’t have to just keep him on the roster for the sake of keeping him anymore. They could still end up keeping him to have a fourth healthy corner Week 1 when the Ravens face the New York Jets, but if Lardarius Webb is ready to go they’ll already have four.

The move also frees the Ravens to consider allowing Chris Carr to return punts again. Carr was solid in the role a season ago, and is a better option right now than a banged up Mark Clayton or banged up Tom Zbikowski-who is expected to start if Ed Reed isn’t ready to go. If Carr returns punts, there would be less of a need to use a roster spot on Prince Miller-who could probably survive being exposed and end up on the practice squad.

With all of that being said, Josh Wilson is 5’9″ and is NOT a “shutdown” corner. He’s also in the final year of his contract-and given the market for decent corners, he can probably command a decent amount of money.

However, he’s been very solid in recent years and looks like he can help this team in multiple ways. I am in no ways an “everything Ozzie Newsome does is perfect” type of person, but this move looks to be very good-right in the mold of other solid moves made by the organization.

2. WNST.net’s Glenn Clark says Ravens moved Brendon Ayanbadejo, Matt Lawrence to reserve PUP

These were both expected moves as neither player had been able to do much of anything football-wise either at Training Camp in Westminster or in Owings Mills. With the team needing to get down to 75 active players, these two were totally logical choices.

You know what else is a totally logical choice? Posting this picture of Peaches Geldof, who has to be making her father (yes, the great Bob Geldof) proud. Thanks, The Grumpiest!

3. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Terrence Cody had knee surgery, likely to miss season opener at New York Jets

Go ahead and make your own comment about how much weight “Mount Cody”‘s knees have to hold up. That’s fine. It’s totally legitimate.

There is a real concern as to whether or not Cody will be dealing with knee issues for the rest of the year or even the rest of his career. He’s quite obviously a large man, and that’s a lot of pressure to put on that part of your body.

It’s unfortunate that the Ravens will likely be without Cody for the visit to the Meadowlands. Cody struggled in Training Camp at McDaniel College, but really seemed to turn something on under the lights when the Ravens faced the Carolina Panthers and Washington Redskins in the preseason. He looks like a player who is just better in games.

Without Cody, the Ravens will have to rely on whoever makes the team from Brandon McKinney, Kelly Talavou, Arthur Jones and Lamar Divens behind Kelly Gregg. In my most recent “Mocking the 53″ update, I had McKinney and Talavou on the good side of the bubble. It’s totally possible the team will decide to keep another D-Lineman given the injury concerns with a guy like Cody.

4. CSNBaltimore.com’s John Eisenberg says Ed Reed had sit-down session with John Harbaugh, Greg Mattison, Chuck Pagano

Before we move on from the Ravens, a few things…

-The Ravens are holding a walkthrough today before tomorrow night’s trip to St. Louis to face the Rams. The walkthrough will be closed to the media, but I will still join Thyrl Nelson at 12:50 on “The Mobtown Sports Beat” and Rex Snider at 4:30 on “The Afternoon Drive” to preview tomorrow night’s game.

-We found out more and more yesterday just how many vets won’t take the field at Edward Jones Dome. Clearly there will be no Joe Flacco, and don’t expect to see Marc Bulger either. Anquan Boldin, Derrick Mason, Mark Clayton, Todd Heap, Michael Oher, Matt Birk, Marshal Yanda, Ben Grubbs, Haloti Ngata, Trevor Pryce, Ray Lewis, Terrell Suggs, Jarret Johnson, Ray Rice, Willis McGahee and Le’Ron McClain are all guys I wouldn’t expect to see either. Probably even more than that.

5. The AP’s David Ginsburg says Matusz sparkled as Orioles topped Boston Red Sox at Oriole Park at Camden Yards

Boy has Brian Matusz ever been really FREAKING good recently.

I know the BoSox have just about given up at this point late in the season, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have real players in their lineup.

Matusz has been good recently no matter who the opposition was.

If this is shaping up for Matusz to become the STELLAR young starting pitcher so many folks were hoping he would, the O’s will be in a much better place as an organization.

But with that being said, they still need to go get a real front of the rotation-type starter this offseason to match Matusz and Jeremy Guthrie. If Andy MacPhail does that, everything changes in Charm City.

That’s a big “if.”

6. The AP/WNST.net provide numerical evidence of win

Matusz’s line: 6IP, 2ER, 6H, BB, 6K

Luke Scott added his 26th home run of the season (as well as a 2nd RBI and a 2nd run scored) and Felix Pie hit his 5th home run as well. Nick Markakis crushed his 40th double of the season (giving him four 40 double seasons for his career) and Brian Roberts went 2-4 and scored a run as well.

The numbers are good. Go look at them. When you get back, Nina Senicar will be waiting for you with a photo from GQ in Italy. Thanks, Guyism!

7. MLB.com’s Brittany Ghiroli says Brandon Snyder, Robert Andino, Nolan Reimold to be part of September callups for Birds

It is also widely speculated that Chris Tillman will be part up callups, we’ll get back to him shortly.

After struggling for the better part of the season, it is good to see that Brandon Snyder is going to get a shot at the Major League Level. By no means do I believe he should be penciled in to play 1B next season, but it will be interesting to see what he has to offer.

I have a nightmare that keeps playing out in my head. The nightmare is that the Orioles report to Sarasota for Spring Training with the plan to platoon Felix Pie and Nolan Reimold in LF.

I PRAY that isn’t the case.

8. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Chris Tillman shined for Norfolk Tides, Manny Machado picked up RBI double for Aberdeen Ironbirds on farm

And before we move on from the Orioles, a few things…

-The O’s are back in action tonight against the Sawx, with Jon Lester facing Jake Arrieta. First pitch at OPACY is at 7:05pm and the game can be seen on MASN.

-Did you miss Bowie Baysox pitcher Eddie Gamboa this morning with Drew Forrester on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST? Make sure you head over to the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net to check it out. Some other things you can find in the Audio Vault include…

• Arnold Palmer-who teamed up with Fred Mills Wednesday morning to talk golf and prostate health with Drew
• Jon Saraceno (USA Today)-who talked about Rex Ryan and the Jets with Drew Wednesday as well

Plus PLENTY more. It’s all in the Audio Vault, make sure you check it out today. I keep doing so much for you…

9. Washington Post’s Liz Clarke says Ellicott City’s Beatrice Capra beat Karolina Sprem at U.S. Open

This is awesome. In fact, it’s even more awesome because Pam Shriver was talking about it last night during the Caroline Wozniacki match. Much love for tennis in the greater Baltimore area.

Also awesome? The text message Boomer Sooner sent me last night…

“How am I supposed to get anything done when this unseeded dude is forcing Rafael Nadal into tiebreaks?”

I’ll admit it. It took EVERYTHING inside of me to not respond; “Marry me.”

10. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Travis Baltz could be forced into kicking duties for injured Nick Ferrara when Maryland plays Navy Monday

Nick Ferrara did a good job punting for the Terps when Travis Baltz was hurt last year.

With that said, I have NO interest in seeing Travis Baltz try to kick field goals for the Terrapins this year.

I however DO have an interest in seeing as much of Phuong Nguyen as possible. Thanks, The Smoking Jacket!

And finally, I leave you with this.

I’m headed to Timonium Friday for the Maryland State Fair, but before that I made a pit stop this weekend at the Maryland Renaissance Festival down in Annapolis…or Crownsville…or whatever the hell that town is called. It was AWESOME.

They have ice cream in cantaloupe bowls…

Octoberfest in tankards…

Games I have no idea how to play…

And I found a new calling as an axe thrower!

In a word…GLORIOUS.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Honorable Mention: College Football-Towson @ Indiana (Thursday 7:30pm from Bloomington, Ind. live on Big Ten Network), Bowie State @ Morgan State (Saturday 6pm Hughes Stadium); Auto Racing: NASCAR Emory Healthcare 500 (Sunday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on ESPN), IndyCar Series Kentucky 300 (Saturday 8pm from Sparta, Kentucky live on VERSUS); Soccer: U.S. Open Cup-Columbus Crew @ DC United (Wednesday 7:30pm RFK Stadium), MLS-Columbus Crew @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Fox Soccer Channel)

10. Budweiser Superfest feat. Anthony Hamilton (Tuesday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), The O’Jays & Ron Isley (Friday 7pm Pier Six Pavilion), REO Speedwagon & Pat Benatar (Saturday 6:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Disturbed & Avenged Sevenfold (Tuesday 4pm Jiffy Lube Live), Jimmy Buffett (Thursday & Saturday 8pm Jiffy Lube Live); Tantric & Adema (Tuesday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); Cowboy Mouth (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); NAS & Damien Marley (Tuesday 8pm Sonar), 30 Seconds to Mars (Wednesday 7pm Sonar); Bret Michaels (Wednesday 8pm Maryland State Fair), Justin Bieber (Sunday 7pm Maryland State Fair); Hot Hot Heat (Saturday 9pm Ottobar)

This list is MUCH better than it probably looks like at first. I won’t make it to Buffett Thursday night because the Ravens are playing. If I was there, I’d probably just keep yelling “SOUTHERN CROSS!!!!!!!!!!!!” anyway….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Ah-Ch8NQ4[/youtube]

I used to do radio broadcasts for the Arizona Rattlers during my time in Phoenix; and they once brought Tantric by during the first half. They didn’t leave at any point during the game. I’m pretty sure there were both hookers AND blow….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i7Ah-Ch8NQ4[/youtube]

I’m not really a big Nas fan, but “One Mic” is one of the greatest songs in hip-hop history. Note-lyrics NSFW…unless of course you work at Jo-Ann Fabrics. We all know the deal there…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQbCC8S-ErE[/youtube]

I can’t freaking STAND Jared Leto, but damnit if “Kings and Queens” isn’t amongst the Top 10 songs of 2010…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QMX3qv1N37s[/youtube]

9. Glenn Clark’s Birthday (Monday)

I don’t usually like to make this all about me, but I figured I could offer a plea here. I rarely ask you all for anything, but I would REALLY like this Robert McClintock piece for my birthday this year. Just consider it an investment on future brilliant material from “The Tradition”…

8. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs-Deutsche Bank Championship (Friday & Saturday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Sunday 3pm Monday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Norton, Massachusetts), Champions Tour Home Care & Hospice First Tee Open at Pebble Beach (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Monterey, CA live on Golf Channel)

Some dude named Matt Kuchar won the first event in the playoffs. I’m reasonably certain we were in Mrs. Lutz-Itzoe’s 3rd grade class at Chapel Hill Elementary School together.

Seriously, can’t Tiger Woods just ACTUALLY be “back” one of these weeks?!?!?!

I’m reasonably certain this guy is gonna end up winning the 2nd playoff event in Boston…

7. Pro Wrestling: WWE Raw (Monday 9pm from Verizon Center live on USA Network); TNA “No Surrender” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

As a veteran of plenty of live WWE, WWF and WCW events, there are a few things you need to know before you head to the arena:

1-If you bring a sign, make it funny. If it just says “The Champ is Here” because you’re a John Cena fan-you had better be 12 years old. If you’re closer to my age and want to bring a sign, it better be something creative-like Sheamus’ face with the words “You Can’t See Me.” You see, it’s clever because Sheamus is an albino and it uses another of John Cena’s catch phrases. Taking notes?

2-Bringing your own championship belt might seem lame-but it isn’t. Bring yours, and carry it over your shoulder. Wear sunglasses too. Championship belts around the waist-again-are for kids.

3-I liked Stone Cold Steve Austin as much as anyone. But chanting “What?” after everything that is said is grounds for the guy behind you to “accidentally” spill two beers on you. Don’t be lame.

4-Remind your kids they shouldn’t do this type of stuff at home. Unless of course they want to be like Ric Flair. In which case, let them do whatever the hell they please…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy-LQH8N6Ug[/youtube]

6. Basketball: FIBA World Championships-Team USA vs. Iran (Wednesday 12pm live on ESPN), Tunisia vs. Team USA (Thursday 9:30am live on ESPN2; both games from Istanbul) Round of 16 games (Saturday-Monday from Istanbul live on ESPN & ESPN3.com)

Is Tunisia where the Tasmanian Devil is from?!?!?

I’m really torn on this whole Team USA hoops thing. I mean-on one side, I love America. I’m much like Glenn Beck in that way. We’re a couple of patriots. Maybe it’s a name thing. But like Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin, I love this country. Not like that Barack Obama fella-I heard he isn’t even FROM this country!

On the flip side of patriotism, I completely despise everything about Coach K. Is there anything LESS American than a Duke coach coaching our boys in Europe? We might as well scribble out a map for terrorists that says “your target is here.”

Oh and another thing. I was going to attend the World Championships this year, but couldn’t find Istanbul on a map. All of my and Craig Ferguson’s maps said “Constantinople”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4phHwSSing[/youtube]

5. High School Football: Joppatowne @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Glen Burnie @ South River (Friday 6:30pm)

YEEEESSSSS!!!!! MARINERS ARE GOING DOWN!!!!!!!!!!! ROLL GATORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, I’m sure there are plenty of other important games this weekend (the first full weekend of High School action here in the Old Line State) involving teams like Calvert Hall, Gilman, Boys Latin, Bel Air, Fallston, Parkville, Dulaney, etc. etc. etc.; but don’t bother me with those. I went to PHHS, and ol’ Drew Forrester went to Glen Burnie-so there are only two teams that I root for. Perry Hall…and whoever is playing the Gophers.

This week, there’s NO ONE I love more than South River! Go you….Seahawks, go!

That’s how I roll.

4. Tennis: U.S. Open (Tuesday-Friday 11am live on Tennis Channel 1pm live on ESPN2, Saturday-Monday 11am live on CBS 7pm live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from New York)

And with that in mind, don’t even bother asking me if I can do something for the next 14 days/nights. You already know the answer.

Need an excuse to watch? Well, Caroline Wozniacki IS the top seeded woman at Flushing Meadows…

3. Maryland State Fair (Tuesday-Monday Timonium Fairgrounds)

The new young lady in my life…we call her “Boomer Sooner”…tells me that at the Texas State Fair, they have introduced Deep Fried BEER this year. I’ll admit there was a bit of jealousy inside me, but I then reminded her that we have something even BETTER in Maryland…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Oy_cPF950s[/youtube]

I will be there early evening Friday. I’ll be wearing the black Under Armour hat. It’s a dollar a race. You KNOW you can’t afford to miss this.

2. Baltimore Ravens @ St. Louis Rams (Thursday 8pm from St. Louis live on WBAL11)

Speaking of “Boomer Sooner”, I immediately have more interest in a 4th preseason game than I EVER should. You see, as a graduate of the University of Oklahoma, ol’ Boomer Sooner has adopted the Rams as her second team-thanks to her undying affection for QB Sam Bradford. The whole thing just disgusts me.

But Sam Bradford won’t be the only Heisman Trophy winner on the field Friday night. That’s right, we’ve got one of our own here in Charm City….

Attention Troy Smith: I’ve never asked you for anything before. You’ve always lived up to those expectations. Please don’t change now. The city needs you. And by the city, I mean “me.” And I really only need you for one night, but don’t get caught up in semantics. Hugs and kisses. -G

1. College Football: Maryland vs. Navy (Monday 4pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN); Virginia Tech vs. Boise State (Monday 8pm from FedEx Field live on ESPN)

Not only is Monday my birthday-but it is also Labor Day. And I can think of no way better to honor the working men and women of American than to have our Terrapins absolutely DESTROY the men who will go on to serve our country during times of unrest in the “Crab Bowl Classic” there at “The Bank.”

In all seriousness, there are only a few things I’m hoping for in Monday’s game. 1-Awesome Spirit videos from the Midshipmen like this one…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4breGPkzS0[/youtube]

2-An atmosphere and game so great that either a Terps player (or a Mids player) ends up finding himself in folklore the way that one Lance Ball has…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wR6737o-cko[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Honorable Mention: Soccer-MLS: DC United @ Chivas USA (Sunday 10pm from Carson, California live on ESPN2); Auto Racing: IndyCar Series Peak Antifreeze and Motor Oil Indy 300 (Saturday 7pm from Joliet, Illinois live on VERSUS), NASCAR Nationwide Series Circuit Gilles Villeneuve (Sunday 2pm from Montreal live on ESPN2)

10. Rock The Bells feat. Snoop Dogg, A Tribe Called Quest, Wu-Tang Clan, Lauryn Hill (Sunday 12pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Jackson Browne (Tuesday 7:30pm Pier Six Pavilion), Trey Songz & Monica (Friday 8pm Pier Six Pavilion), Blondie & Cheap Trick (Sunday 7pm Pier Six Pavilion); Tears For Fears (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head Live), Nonpoint (Thursday 8pm Rams Head Live); Saving Abel (Tuesday 7pm Bourbon Street); Matisyahu (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), NAS & Damien Marley (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club); Tony Bennett (Friday 8pm Wolf Trap); Patrice O’Neal (Friday-Sunday DC Improv)

I like a lot of this! I’ve said before on Facebook that I’ve lost many hours of my life wondering where Lauryn Hill ran off to. Never again…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dE6Qcc6VDo8[/youtube]

I once saw Cheap Trick open for Aerosmith. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why Steven Tyler and company even bothered coming to the stage…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th370QmFtk8[/youtube]

I may not love Tears For Fears but I sure as hell love this song…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bqgy1mebh8[/youtube]

Matisyahu played the last HFStival I was involved with when I was employed there. He carried his own equipment. And he kicked ass…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2zqAmP0DpM[/youtube]

9. Glenn Clark’s Fantasy Football Draft (Friday 8pm Mountain Branch)

And with the sixth pick in the “Full House Fantasy Draft”, Team Jesse and the Rippers Select…

No way we can lose now…

8. Baltimore Comic-Con (Saturday & Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

So if I go, do I wear THIS costume…

or THIS one…

I feel like they’re both equally good options…but I’m probably only fat enough for the first one.

7. High School Football: Gilman @ Archbishop Spalding (Friday 7pm), St. John’s (DC) @ Calvert Hall (Saturday 1pm)

I love High School Football. I might not be quite as excited this week because my beloved Perry Hall Gators aren’t in action yet; but I still love the concept of high school football-and just the idea behind “Friday Night Lights” altogether. I posted Kenny Chesney’s “The Boys of Fall” as “The Greatest Song of All Time This Week” earlier this week, but not because of the song. Instead, I posted it entirely thanks to the EPIC speech from New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton at the beginning…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AlXDo5WhQXI[/youtube]

6. Team USA Basketball: Team USA vs. Greece (Wednesday 12pm from Athens, Greece live on ESPN)

I’ll always be grateful to our Greek friends for giving us things like baklava and Maria Menounos…

…but this is basketball we’re talking about. Kevin Durant and the boys in the red, white and blue have a simple responsibility. KICK SOME GREEK ASS.

But again, thanks for Maria Menounos. And baklava.

5. Golf: PGA Tour FedEx Cup Playoffs-The Barclays (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 1pm live on Golf Channel 3pm live on CBS, Sunday 12pm live on Golf Channel 2pm live on CBS. All golf from Paramus, New Jersey); Champions Tour Boeing Classic (Friday & Saturday 6:30, Sunday 7pm from Snoqualmie, Washington live on Golf Channel); LPGA Tour CN Canadian Women’s Open (Thursday & Friday 11:59pm on Golf Channel, Saturday 3pm Sunday 2pm live on Golf Channel. All golf from Winnipeg, Canada)

Apparently it’s a big deal that Tiger Woods is playing this week in New Jersey. With no offense to a guy who has lost more than the Orioles and Pirates combined this season, but I’d be much more interested if it were J-Woww playing this weekend in anywhere…

(Edit from GMC: Seriously…I love the Jersey Shore. I don’t care what you think about that.)

4. Tennis: ATP Tour U.S. Open Series Pilot Pen Tennis (Thursday 1pm Friday 12pm & 7pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 1pm live on CBS, 7pm live on ESPN2. All tennis from New Haven, Connecticut); U.S. Open Opening Round (Monday 11am live on Tennis Channel, 1pm live on ESPN2. All U.S. Open tennis from New York)

I know better than to be interested in American tennis players. We all stink right now. My love affair with Andy Roddick is completely pointless, as at some point he’s inevitably going to lose to a player whose future is more suited for the kitchen at PF Chang’s than it is the Wimbledon Champions Ball.

So I’ll go ahead and blame my own stupidity for getting excited when I watched Mardy Fish take the first set from Roger Federer in the final out in Cincinnati. I should have known better. Mardy Fish is Mardy Fish. Roger Federer is Roger Federer.

It’s similar to getting excited about Taka Michinoku when he gets some early offense in a matchup with Triple H. Oh you don’t remember the reference? I’ll remind you the WWF title was on the line…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3I-iUL2IBn4[/youtube]

3. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 118-Frankie Edgar vs. BJ Penn (Saturday 10pm from Boston live on Pay-Per-View); Bellator Fighting Championships 26 (Thursday 8pm from Kansas City live on Fox Sports Net)

So this is supposed to be the ultimate showdown between boxing and MMA, right? A boxer who has held titles at four different weight classes in James Toney against a mixed martial artist whose career has landed him in the UFC Hall of Fame in Randy Couture.

Whether or not the fight settles ANYTHING, I really hope that Dana White considers replacing Joe Rogan with Jim Gray for the post-fight interview (Some NSFW language in here…unless of course you work with my grandmom. I hear she’s gotten feisty late in life…)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgecPysuGB4[/youtube]

2. Maryland State Fair (Friday-Monday Timonium Fairgrounds)

I can’t explain this enough. Not only will I get beer from the Shriners and collect free swag from crappy radio stations I will never listen to; but I will ABSOLUTELY dine like a king…

and I will absolutely hang with some of my closest friends…

1. New York Giants @ Baltimore Ravens (Saturday 7:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on WBAL11)

Giants-Ravens, huh? Okay then….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeY-Nk-GKSY[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Honorable Mention: WNBA-New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Friday 7pm Verizon Center); Soccer: NASL-Rochester Rhinos @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Wednesday 7pm Ridley Athletic Complex-Loyola),MLS-Philadelphia Union @ DC United (Sunday 2pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet & MLS Direct Kick)

10. Train (Sunday 5pm Pier Six Pavilion); KISS (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); The Temptations and The Four Tops (Saturday 8pm Wolf Trap); Travie McCoy & Shwayze (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Charm City Devils & Bang Tango (Saturday 7:30pm Bourbon Street), The Wailers (Sunday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); Mighty Mighty Bosstones (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); Hot August Blues Festival feat. Lyle Lovett & His Large Band, Keb’ Mo’ (Saturday 1:30pm Oregon Ridge Park); Babyface (Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere)

Certainly some things worth pointing out here, as no matter how goofy that stupid “Hey Soul Sister” song was-Train remains downright listenable…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxWK3qACDGk[/youtube]

I’ve caught myself watching “Gene Simmons Family Jewels” a few times recently, and I’ve been reminded of just how unforgivable it is that KISS is somehow NOT in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hgz-q76KtQ[/youtube]

Whether or not you were a SR-71 fan (and how could you not have been?), there’s really no excuse to not be a Charm City Devils fan. John Allen is part of our great city’s rock and roll royalty…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNahVaxjFYs[/youtube]

And the ska movement may have died many years ago, but I am grateful to have Dicky Barrett and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones back. They did my favorite song from “Clueless” after all….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmOmAuhAQbE[/youtube]

9. Baltimore Restaurant Week (Tuesday-Sunday throughout Charm City)

Or in other words, “The Greatest Week of All Time Ever.”

Look, they’re not a sponsor-but I’ll go ahead and say it. If there’s a way for me to afford eating at The Capital Grille, I’m all in. I mean-they have Halibut and Yukon Potatoes with sliced almonds and sweet diced tomatoes…

8. Arena Football League: ArenaBowl-Tampa Bay Storm @ Spokane Shock (Friday 8pm from Spokane live on NFL Network)

Maybe we have the winner face the AIFA Champion Baltimore Mariners in a Best of 7 series starting Monday night?

For the record, I’m pulling for Spokane. It would be nice for the city to have something to celebrate besides Adam Morrison and his moustache crying…

7. Swimming: Pan Pacific Championships (Wednesday 9pm live on Universal Sports, Saturday 2pm Sunday 3pm on NBC. All swimming from Irvine, CA)

There’s good news here. One-I always root for Michael Phelps. He’s a Baltimore Ravens fan. I’m a Baltimore Ravens fan. Not much else to care about there.

Two-this particular event is an event where Team USA goes up against Japan, Australia and Canada. And the fact is, I hate Canada anyway! Why? Well…

Up yours Canada. Enjoy getting SMOKED by Michael Phelps and the boys…

6. Golf: PGA Tour Wyndham Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 2pm live on CBS. All golf from Greensboro, North Carolina); Champions Tour JELD-WEN Tradition (Thursday 7:30pm Friday 8pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 4pm live on NBC. All golf from Sunriver, Oregon); LPGA Tour Safeway Classic (Friday 12:30pm Saturday & Sunday 5:30pm from North Plains, Oregon live on Golf Channel)

It used to be that if Tiger Woods wasn’t involved in a golf tournament, no one was interested.

Now, it’s just a case of no one ever being interested either way.

But if you’re going to have to play a golf tournament-there are worse places to play than Greensboro, North Carolina. The good news there is that you’re never too far from one of these…

5. Tennis-ATP Tour U.S. Open Series: Western & Southern Financial Group Masters (Tuesday & Wednesday 1pm live on Tennis Channel, Thursday & Friday 12pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 2pm & 7pm live on ESPN2, Sunday-FINAL-12pm live on CBS. All tennis from Cincinnati) WTA Tour U.S. Open Series: Rogers Cup (Friday 6pm, Saturday 4pm live on Tennis Channel; Sunday 1pm & 3pm live on ESPN2. All tennis from Montreal)

There’s no American men in the Top 10 of the World Tennis Rankings.

A man from Germany just won the PGA Championship.

American men hold NONE of the heavyweight boxing champions.

Even the current WWE Champion (Sheamus) is from Ireland.

What the hell are we any good at in this country?!?!?

Well, I know of at least one sport where we still dominate. Thanks in large part to great athletes like one Glenn Clark…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVqIvM8Wbas[/youtube]

You’re welcome, America.

4. Auto Racing: NASCAR Irwin Tools Night Race (Saturday 7:30pm from Bristol, TN live on ABC), IndyCar Series Indy Grand Prix of Sonoma (Sunday 5pm from Sonoma, CA live on VERSUS)

I don’t much care for NASCAR myself. I’ll admit that it’s an area where I’m fairly snobby, as I prefer my sports-and my TV viewing in general-to actually be captivating, interesting and entertaining.

The good news is that when the NASCAR circuit hits Bristol Motor Speedway, they’re racing on a smaller track. That means there are probably going to be a few more of these…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UJ5jD6OJiE[/youtube]

3. Lacrosse: MLL Championship Weekend-Boston Cannons vs. Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 12pm), Denver Outlaws vs. Long Island Lizards (Saturday 3pm), MLL Championship Game (Sunday 1pm…all games from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3.com, 2nd semifinal Saturday also live on Universal Sports)

This is a tough spot. I’m uncomfortable with rooting for the Bayhawks, as they WERE the Baltimore Bayhawks but were eventually moved to Washington before coming back to Annapolis and changing their name to “Chesapeake.” Of course, my other options include teams from Boston and New York, and I’m CERTAINLY not rooting for them.

I know what else I’ll be rooting for…AWESOME INJURIES. Awesome injuries like the one recently picked up by Cincinnati Bearcats star (Roland Park) Laura Simanski; who you may know better as “The Future Mrs. Glenn Clark.” Laura was apparently playing recently in Ocean City, and her mom did the right thing and posted photographic evidence of an AWESOME injury on Facebook…

2. Mixed Martial Arts: WEC-Dominick Cruz vs. Joseph Benavidez (Wednesday 9pm from Las Vegas live on VERSUS); Strikeforce Houston (Saturday 10pm from Houston live on Showtime)

If Bobby Lashley wins OR loses Saturday night, I have one simple request to Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker. PLEASE make this happen next…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUj07_f89i4[/youtube]

1. Baltimore Ravens @ Washington Redskins (Saturday 8pm from FedEx Field live on WBAL 11 & Comcast SportsNet), Tweetup with SI’s Peter King (Wednesday 4:30pm Amicci’s Little Italy)

If you regularly read WNST.net…or the Washington Post’s DC Sports Bog…or Deadspin…or Kissing Suzy Kolber…or Mister Irrelevant…or Press Box…or DCRTV…or the Bible…wait, no, maybe not the bible…you may have heard that I don’t much care for the Washington Redskins.

But as time has gone on, my opinion has softened.

So to all of those who have been offended by my previous comments regarding the Skins, I offer something new…

“F*ck the Redskins. F*ck John Riggins. F*ck MASN’s Riggins commercial.”

Go ahead and quote me. See you at that dump you call a stadium Saturday night in…Raljon? Ugh. What a dreadful place…

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Honorable Mention: MLL Lacrosse-Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Boston Cannons (Saturday 7pm from Boston live on ESPN3.com); Soccer-NASL: Miami FC @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Wednesday 2pm Maryland SoccerPlex), MLS: DC United @ New England Revolution (Saturday 7:30pm from Foxborough, MA live on MLS Direct Kick & Comcast SportsNet); WNBA-Washington Mystics @ Atlanta Dream (Tuesday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on ESPN2); Boxing: Devon Alexander vs. Andriy Kotelnik (Saturday 10pm from St. Louis live on HBO), ShoBOX: Chris Avalos vs. Christopher Martin (Friday 11pm from Hinckley, MN live on Showtime)

10. Goo Goo Dolls (Tuesday 5:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Lilith Fair feat. Sarah MacLachlan (Tuesday 3pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Keane (Thursday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Arcade Fire (Friday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Summer Spirit Festival feat. The Roots, Common, Erykah Badu, B.O.B. (Saturday 3:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Barenaked Ladies (Sunday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Kings of Leon (Saturday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), Mayhem Festival feat. Korn & Rob Zombie (Sunday 2:15pm Jiffy Lube Live); Willie Nelson (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Hippiefest feat. War & Mitch Ryder (Sunday 8pm Wolf Trap), Counting Crows (Monday 8pm Wolf Trap); Sick Puppies (Friday 7pm Sonar); Asia (Tuesday 7:30pm Birchmere), Jonny Lang (Monday 7:30pm Birchmere); Alex Band of “The Calling” (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); “The Other Guys” out in theaters (Friday)

I’m really hit and miss when it comes to the Goo Goo Dolls. Sometimes I think they’re much too sappy, sometimes they put out a jam like “Slide”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yP4qdefD2To[/youtube]

There’s like nothing…in the world…better than The Roots…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n94URvpQOAc[/youtube]

There isn’t much of anyone I’d drive to Bristow, Virginia to see…but I’d at least consider it for a band like Kings of Leon. I mean…they did “Manhattan”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp-2-7uuCtc[/youtube]

Not a whole lot of you will have heard of Sick Puppies, but it shouldn’t keep you from going to Sonar to check them out. They’re actually pretty good. When I would sit it on 98KUPD in Phoenix, I would regularly get them switched into the rotation…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okjxe8VWQPo[/youtube]

9. Baltimore International Festival/6th Annual Mayor’s Cup Soccer Tournament (Saturday-Sunday Poly/Western High School)

Winner gets a free XBox!!!

Oh wait…that was the other mayor.

You know what my favorite tent is at the international festival? The AMERICAN tent! I hope they have Buffalo Chicken Dip and episodes of Holly’s World…that’s what makes our country great!

8. Pro Wrestling: TNA “HardCORE Justice” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View); WWE “Wrestlemania 26″ replay (Saturday 9pm NBC)

Usually including Pro Wrestling events is just an excuse for me to put in pictures of hot wrestling chicks. Not this time. Why? Because I love both of these events. One-the TNA event is an ECW reunion.  Anything that involves more Rob Van Dam makes me (and God I believe) happy…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlfWESVCutc[/youtube]

Two…WM26 was Shawn Michaels’ final match. Once again, I (and God) approve…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3EGgJgbfvM[/youtube]

7. Golf: PGA Tour Turning Stone Resort Championship (Thursday-Sunday 4pm from Verona, NY live on Golf Channel), Champions Tour 3M Championship (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Blaine, MN live on Golf Channel)

Stuart Appleby shot a 59 in some Golf Tournament Classic thingy last weekend, and apparently that’s impressive.  I’m not sure I agree. I shot a 44 myself at Maui Golf a few weeks ago when I was in Ocean City!

Speaking of Ocean City, former Intern Genna lives in Ocean City now. I wonder what she’s up to???

Exactly what I expected.

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips at the Glen (Sunday 1pm from Watkins Glen, NY live on ESPN), IndyCar Series Honda Indy 200 (Sunday 2:30pm from Lexington, OH live on VERSUS)

If my life depended on it, I couldn’t tell you who won last week’s NASCAR race. I’ll go with Terry Labonte. He’s good, right?

Speaking of NASCAR, some guy named Basil Marceaux is running for governor in Tennessee. I think you’ll understand the transition after you watch the video…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hvaeHllwtw[/youtube]

5. Swimming: Conoco Phillips National Championships (Tuesday & Wednesday 9pm live on Universal Sports, Saturday 4pm Sunday 4:30pm on NBC; live webcast throughout at Swimnetwork.com. All swimming from Irvine, CA)

I’ve used all of my Michael Phelps material. Frankly, I’ll just be rooting for the dude at this point. I mean-he’s from Charm City. I want him to win.

Instead, I’ll just post this picture of Amanda Beard. She may or may not still be a swimmer. Like it matters…

4. National Sports Collectors Convention (Thursday-Sunday Baltimore Convention Center)

How about that? For the VERY reasonable price of $110, I can get John Riggins’ autograph!

How about for an additional 40 bucks, I get to put him in a Ric Flair sharpshooter???

I’m sure there are people in the world that are excited about this type of event. I’m just not one of them. Paying money for someone’s signature-or for the chance to take a picture of them-is something I’m COMPLETELY uninterested in. Unless of course that person is John Stamos. Yeah, I’d pay money to meet him…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCOOI9IETCI[/youtube]

For the record, my Fantasy Football team name this year IS Jesse & The Rippers. What else would it be?

3. Tennis: ATP Tour U.S. Open Series Legg Mason Tennis Classic (Tuesday-Sunday William H.G. FitzGerald Tennis Center in Rock Creek Park; Thursday 4pm live on Tennis Channel, Friday 12pm & 7pm live on ESPN2 5pm live on Tennis Channel, Saturday 1pm live on Tennis Channel 7pm live on ESPN2, Sunday 3pm live on ESPN2 8pm live on Tennis Channel)

Yes-of COURSE I’m going to watch tennis this week, even if it means I have to venture into the cesspool that is our nation’s capital. Why? Like you even need to ask…

And you thought you knew what I was going to say there…

2. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 117-Anderson Silva vs. Chael Sonnen (Saturday 10pm from Oakland live on Pay-Per-View)

Anderson Silva is one of the greatest fighters in MMA history.

You could bump into Chael Sonnen at Royal Farms today and have no idea who he was or what he did for a living. (Edit form GMC: Yeah, that’s a variation of a Bert Sugar joke. Deal with it.)

Yet for some reason, Chael Sonnen thinks it appropriate to make comments like these…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PFpePVQ68FM[/youtube]

“The Michael Jackson of MMA”…that’s actually really good.

1. Ravens Training Camp (Tuesday, Thursday & Monday 8:45am & 2:45pm, Wednesday & Friday 8:45am & 2pm, Sunday 2:45pm McDaniel College; Saturday 12pm M&T Bank Stadium); Pro Football Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony (Saturday 7pm from Canton, Ohio live on NFL Network); Hall of Fame Game: Dallas Cowboys vs. Cincinnati Bengals (Sunday 8pm from Canton, Ohio live on NBC)

I know a gal who is a BIG fan of the Dallas Cowboys. I am not. In fact, the only thing we tend to agree about is that the Redskins suck. But with that in mind, I’m not much for the Bengals either. Therefore, the only acceptable result Sunday night would be a scoreless tie.

In the meantime-I will be willing to admit that I find Chad Ochocinco humorous. For example…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SHXZ62wwmRE[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Honorable Mention: MLL Lacrosse-Chicago Machine @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium); WNBA-San Antonio Silver Stars @ Washington Mystics (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV), Tulsa Shock @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV); Arena Football League: Tulsa Talons @ Oklahoma City Yard Dawgz (Friday 8:05pm from Oklahoma City live on NFL Network)

10. Slightly Stoopid & Cypress Hill (Thursday 6:30pm from Pier Six Pavilion), Heart (Sunday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Carnival of Madness feat. Shinedown, Chevelle, Puddle of Mudd, Sevendust (Wednesday 5pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Jason Aldean (Friday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), Honda Civic Tour feat. Paramore (Saturday 6pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Creed (Wednesday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), John Mayer (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Brooks & Dunn (Sunday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); Steve Miller Band (Tuesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Aretha Franklin (Thursday 8pm Wolf Trap); La Roux (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Dead Weather (Monday 7pm Rams Head Live); Rooney (Tuesday 7pm Sonar); Blues Traveler (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Gin Blossoms (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); Robyn & Kelis (Monday 6pm 9:30 Club); Tom Green (Friday-Sunday DC Improv); Living Colour (Saturday 8pm Jaxx); Buddy Guy (Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); Dru Hill “Indrupendence Day” in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

So much to like here. First of all; of all of the “post-grunge sorta metal” bands in the world-NONE are better than Chevelle…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YMc6P6UDMk[/youtube]

I almost knocked over Hayley Williams at the VirginFest a few years back. She’s tiny. But when Paramore covers Kings of Leon, she’s HUGE…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tCMjJqVBm2g[/youtube]

You can say WHATEVER you want; John Mayer is AWESOME…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_M5cNcRcMk[/youtube]

You might not be a countrry music fan; but Brooks & Dunn are splitting up. That’s significant somehow. I think. Ehh, here’s a country tune…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZSiBj4vCiY[/youtube]

When I was in middle school, it wasn’t cool to like Blues Traveler. It also wasn’t cool to skip going to White Marsh Mall on Friday nights to stay home and watch Boy Meets World; but screw you for judging me…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ousaiByU1ko[/youtube]

9. “Dinner For Schmucks” in theaters (Friday); Otakon (Friday-Sunday, Baltimore Convention Center); “Shark Week” begins (Sunday 9pm Discovery Channel)

Yes, these things are very random. But they’re all delightful as well. I don’t know if “Dinner For Schmucks” will be funny or not, but I feel like it has potential. At least the potential to be better than, say, “Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOMngejmwKE[/youtube]

The first thing that comes up when you Google Image Search “Otakon” is below. I was hoping I’d figure out more about the event. Instead, I think I’m safer just continuing with my life…

And we ALL know how great Shark Week is. So with that in mind, I offer my favorite ever “Texts From Last Night” entry…

i just defriended some girl because according to her status she “doesn’t give a f*ck about shark week.”

And I also offer the t-shirt version of Tracy Morgan’s greatest ever quote from 30 Rock…

8. Tennis: ATP Tour Farmers Classic (Friday 3pm live on ESPN2, 7pm live on Tennis Channel; Saturday 5pm & 10:30pm live on ESPN2; Sunday 5pm live on ESPN2, 8pm live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from Los Angeles); U.S. Open Series Legg Mason Classic (Saturday-Monday William H.G. FitzGerald Tennis Center in Rock Creek Park)

Yeah, you know damn well I’ll be wandering down to DC at some point next week to watch Andy Roddick and company (did A-Rod REALLY lose to Mardy Fish this weekend in Atlanta?!?!?!?) because I’m a tennis nerd; but we’ll get back to that.

Back to Mardy Fish, did you know he was married to Stacey Gardner of “Deal or No Deal” fame? If it weren’t for the “married” part, this would probably make me a bigger fan of his…

7. Pro Wrestling: MCW Shamrock Cup (Saturday 6pm New Green Room Dundalk)

With no offense to Peter Schmuck or Kevin Eck from the Baltimore Sun (who are scheduled to “wrestle” at this event); the night is being headlined by appearances from former WWE stars Mickie James and Tommy Dreamer.

You would think I would be more excited about an appearance from the former Women’s Champion than I would a former ECW journeyman; but that only means you haven’t seen this video of him battling Rob Van Dam…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_kJOpgSqHQ[/youtube]

6. Golf-PGA Tour Greenbrier Classic (Thursday-Sunday 3pm from Sulphur Springs, West Virginia live on Golf Channel); Champions Tour U.S. Senior Open (Thursday & Friday 1pm live on ESPN, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. All golf from Sammamish, WA); LPGA Women’s British Open (Thursday & Friday 10am, Saturday & Sunday 9am from Southport, England live on ESPN)

I’m not much of a golf fan; but I feel as though if I lived in West Virginia; I would probably attend this event. Mostly because my entertainment alternatives would include…

Who are we kidding? That’s actually not that bad…

5. Auto Racing: NASCAR Sunoco Red Cross Pennsylvania 500 (Sunday 1pm from Pocono live on ESPN)

I actually poked at the Brickyard 400 while the Orioles game was in a rain delay this past weekend. No thanks.

In fact, I’m really not sure how this race ended up 5th on this list. If I hadn’t already made it this far I’d probably go back and adjust it, but that would take far too much effort at this point.

It’s a shame Ultimate Frisbee never makes the list instead of NASCAR. Then I could post this incredible video from Deadspin instead of posting something stupid about golf. Oh wait, look at what I just did there…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5edTmCn09s[/youtube]

4. Boxing: Juan Manuel Marquez vs. Juan Diaz II (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on HBO PPV)

I’d like to be excited about this fight this weekend; but I just don’t know how I feel about boxing anymore. Let’s consider a recent boxing mega-fight in Australia between Danny Green and Paul Briggs…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYNwVSJfVhQ[/youtube]

If you can’t trust a sport with the unquestionable history of boxing, what CAN you trust in the world?

3. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC on VERSUS 2-Jon Jones vs. Vladimir Matyushenko (Sunday 9pm from San Diego live on VERSUS)

This is very simple. Jon “Bones” Jones is the brother of Ravens rookie DT Arthur Jones. That means we root for him. Vladimir “The Janitor” Matyushenko is from Belarus. That means we (and by “we” I mean “I”) don’t root for him.

His nickname is “The Janitor”? How many Janitors have you rooted for in your day? I mean-BESIDES “Janitor Bud” from Boy Meets World of course…

…right up until the point when we found out he was skipping out of work early to go bet on the horses. Jerk.

(Edit from GMC: That’s two BMW references in one post. Don’t think I don’t have more in me…)

2. Ravens Training Camp (Tuesday & Wednesday 8:45am, Friday-Monday 8:45; Monday morning closed to public. All practices at McDaniel College)

OH THANK GOD IT’S FOOTBALL!!!!!!!!!

I’m not really sure what else to say here. The long civic nightmare known as baseball season here in Charm City is finally over; and we focus our attention solely on football. That’s such an incredible blessing.

Of course, the Sergio Kindle news dampers the start of Training Camp; but doesn’t ruin the eternal hope that comes with being a Baltimore Ravens fan. And if the teams needs another body in Camp with Kindle out, I think Patrice Hollis is qualified (Thanks The Smoking Jacket!)…

1. Soccer: Manchester City vs. Inter Milan (Saturday 8pm M&T Bank Stadium); MLS All-Star Game: MLS All-Stars vs. Manchester United (Wednesday 8:30pm from Houston live on ESPN2), MLS-DC United @ Real Salt Lake (Saturday 9pm from Salt Lake City live on Comcast SportsNet & MLS Direct Kick); NASL-Montreal Impact @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 7pm Maryland SoccerPlex)

Just when you thought the whole soccer thing was over for the summer…

I’ll of course be rooting for Inter Saturday night. Not because I’m a big Inter fan; but more because my family is from Italy. How do you not root for the country that (sorta) gave us this???

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Honorable Mention: Volleyball-AVP Long Beach Open (Sunday 4pm live on ABC, 11pm live on ESPN2. All volleyball from Long Beach, CA); WNBA: Atlanta Dream @ Washington Mystics (Wednesday 11:30am from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Indiana Fever @ Washington Mystics (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

10. Vans Warped Tour feat. Reel Big Fish & Alkaline Trio (Tuesday 11am Merriweather Post Pavilion); Beach Boys (Saturday 6:30m Pier Six Pavilion), Willie Nelson (Sunday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Dave Matthews Band & Zac Brown Band (Friday 7pm Nationals Park); Iron Maiden (Tuesday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), Santana (Sunday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); American Idol Live! (Saturday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); Better Than Ezra (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Gary Hoey (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Interpol (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live); Fear Factory (Monday 6pm Recher Theatre); Bay City Rollers (Monday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); John Witherspoon (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv); “An American Playlist” feat. Smokey Robinson & John Mayer (Tuesday 6pm Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts); Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers (Sunday 8pm State Theatre)

I will be attending some of these things. I saw Dave Matthews Band and Zac Brown Band at HersheyPark two weeks ago; and I hope that I can avoid vomiting in my mouth at all of the signs of Steven Strasburg I’ll see at Nats Park. If DMB does “Eh Hee” again, that will help…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U44PsjIvBY[/youtube]

And as far as Zac Brown is concerned; maybe they can channel Rage Against the Machine again…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ChmnEFUGoA[/youtube]

I’ll also be at Pier Six Saturday night to check out the Beach Boys with the great Tom Clark and Karen Clark (my parents, yeah); and will ABSOLUTELY be singing along to every word of every song, including…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L–cqAI3IUI[/youtube]

If I wasn’t going to be at Dave Matthews Friday night, I’d ABSOLUTELY be at Power Plant Live. I remember hearing “Good” in the trailers for “The Baby-Sitters Club” when I was 11 years old and I’ve absolutely loved Better Than Ezra ever since…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji0pyRmSnTY[/youtube]

And you may not be familiar with Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers (Roger used to be in a great band called The Refreshments), the word that comes to mind with them is “fun”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vornIS2QG2k[/youtube]

9. MMA-Strikeforce: Challengers (Friday 11pm from Everett, WA live on Showtime)

There have been a ton of rumors flying around the Mixed Martial Arts world that  Strikeforce might consider putting Bobby Lashley and Dave Batista in the main event of a Pay-Per-View card. My response to that would be “YES PLEASE YES OH THANK GOD YES PLEASE!!!!!”

I do get the feeling I may have seen this before…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUj07_f89i4[/youtube]

8. Tennis-ATP Tour U.S. Open Series Atlanta Tennis Championships (Friday 12pm live on Tennis Channel, 4pm & 7pm live on ESPN2; Saturday 1:30pm live on ESPN2, 7pm live on Tennis Channel; Sunday 3pm live on ESPN2, 8pm live on Tennis Channel); World Team Tennis-New York Sportimes @ Washington Kastles (Tuesday 7pm Kastles Stadium), St. Louis Aces @ Washington Kastles (Wednesday 7pm Kastles Stadium)

Despite the fact that he was bounced in an unforgivable type of upset loss at Wimbledon; I’m still excited for this event simply because Andy Roddick is involved. And given the lack of talent in Hotlanta this year, he has a real chance of winning-which would be a nice change of pace for him.

John Isner is will be playing in the event as well; after playing about 1,876 games in London. He was also a winner at the ESPY Awards last week…although the real winners were Paul Rudd and Steve Carell…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpEdFWXrgWI[/youtube]

7. Soccer: NASL-AC St. Louis @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 3pm Maryland SoccerPlex); U.S. Open Cup: Harrisburg City Islanders @ DC United (Wednesday 7:30pm Maryland SoccerPlex); MLS Friendly: Portsmouth FC @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm RFK Stadium); FIFA Under-20 Women’s World Cup: Team USA vs. Korea Republic (Wednesday 12pm from Augsburg, Germany live on ESPN2)

With no offense to soccer, but has anyone noticed that since the World Cup ended…well…um…no one really cares anymore? I mean, Landon Donovan was in DC the other day, and it barely even got mention on SportsCenter.

It’s with that in mind that I offer a suggestion. Why don’t we just fire all of the current players and replace them with this team???

Just a suggestion…

6. Golf: PGA Tour RBC Canadian Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Toronto); Champions Tour Senior British Open (Thursday & Friday 12pm live on TNT, Saturday 1:30pm Sunday 1pm live on ABC. All golf from Berkshire, England); LPGA Tour Evian Masters (Thursday & Friday 6:30pm, Saturday & Sunday 1pm from Evian-les-Bains, France live on Golf Channel)

Kinda hard to imagine everyone won’t be watching golf this weekend, huh? I mean…we’re a world with “Oosthuizen Fever”, right?

Remember when golf’s major championships used to be events won by golfers we had actually HEARD OF and were watched by at least a partial majority of sports fans?

I barely do either.

These days, golf majors are won by folks like Y.E. Yang or Graeme McDowell or Trevor Immelman. Scott Van Pelt and Andy North have to get together every few weeks and say something like “you think this guy could ever win another one???” I think ESPN actually has a recording of Andy North saying “he has the talent to do it” that they just keep on a loop 4 times a year.

By the way, props to “Late Show with David Letterman” writer/producer Eric Stangel; who had the British Open-related “Tweet of the Week”.

“Tiger Woods won’t win British Open. Fun Fact: Back when he was chasing women, he did date a stripper named Claret Juggs.”

You can follow Eric on Twitter @EricStangel. You can follow us @WNST. I think you know who I think you should follow…

(Edit from GMC: No! US! Come on….)

5. Cycling: Tour De France (Tuesday, Thursday-Sunday 8am from France live on VERSUS)

Apparently Greg LeMond and Lance Armstrong are currently in some sort of girlfight regarding steroids. I’d tell you more, but you wouldn’t care. Which is sorta how I feel about the Tour De France incidentally.

How can so many terrible events be happening at the same time right now when there are so many GREAT events happening at other times during the year?

This isn’t even about there not being an American winning the Tour right now. Levi Leipheimer could be winning the event naked and no one would care. How do I know that? I had to hit Google just to find the name of a cyclist who WASN’T Lance Armstrong.

I’m reasonably certain Levi Leipheimer could cycle naked through his family reunion and most folks would say something like “how do you think Florida will do this season without Tim Tebow???”

4. Lacrosse: FIL World Lacrosse Championships Final (Saturday 11am from Manchester, England live on ESPNU); MLL: Chesapeake Bayhawks @ Long Island Lizards (Thursday 8pm from New York live on ESPN3)

Yeah, ESPNU is a logical place for this game…considering it’s a college matchup?!?!?!?

I get it, beggars can’t be choosers-but why not just put the freaking game on ESPN2? It’s on at 11am…there’s nothing else to compete against.

I don’t know if you could tell, but I’m in a ranting mood. With that in mind, here’s Lewis Black. Maybe I’ll feel better after that. (Edit from GMC: Language NSFW. Unless you work at Comedy Central. If you do…HELP?)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNGWn-aWn5g[/youtube]

3. Auto Racing: NASCAR Brickyard 400 (Sunday 1pm from Indianapolis live on ESPN); IndyCar Series Honda Indy Edmonton (Sunday 5pm from Edmonton live on VERSUS)

The thing to do when you win in Indy is “kiss the bricks.”

Unless of course you’re a Ravens fan-in which case the thing to do in Indy is…

Not that I condone it. (Edit from GMC: At least publicly.)

2. Ravens QB’s & Rookies Report to Training Camp (Monday McDaniel College)

They’re not practicing Monday. Don’t go to Westminster.

BUT…football season begins in days. Our long civic nightmare in Charm City is over.

I’m so happy that I think we need to cue Sly & The Family Stone…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiIBwu2mjs0[/youtube]

1. Indoor Football: AIFA Championship Bowl IV-Baltimore Mariners vs. Wyoming Cavalry (Sunday 4pm 1st Mariner Arena); AFL Chicago Rush @ Spokane Shock (Friday 8pm from Spokane, WA live on NFL Network)

You see, we were promised that the cavalry was coming to Baltimore, and they’re finally getting here!

The good news is that I hate Wyoming anyway. You know…because…they…ummm… exist?

Whatever the reason, go Mariners!

(Edit from GMC: As my roommate-”The Luckiest Dang Roommate on the Face of the Planet” would say-”Win or Lose-We Riot!”)

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G