Tag Archive | "white sox"

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Beckham looks like new Jeter

Posted on 24 August 2009 by dansoderberg

White Sox rookie Third baseman Gordon Beckham has made quite a splash in his first few months in the American League.  Drafted in the first round of the 2008 draft out of the University of Gerogia, Beckham made his ML debut on 6/4/09.  He started off just 2 for his first 28 ABs, but quickly caught fire and hasn’t looked back.  Beckham is currently hitting .287 (.370 OBP) with 8 HRs and 46 RBI in his first 71 big league games.  In addition to providing a lift to the White Sox, Beckham has solved the black hole at third for the Whistle Pigs, my fantasy baseball team.

With all due respect to the Orioles Nolan Reimold, Beckham should be the AL Rookie of the Year.  Beckham has better numbers, plays in a bigger market and plays every day for a contender.  Watching Beckham line smashes from gap to gap has become a nightly occurence on Baseball Tonight.  When I watch Beckham hit I see Derek Jeter.  I wish Beckham a long and productive career, and if he is the next Jeter at least he doesn’t play for the Yankees…yet.

Josh Bell update – The Orioles flagship is reporting that Bowie 3rd Baseman Josh Bell will play in the Arizona Fall League, which begins in October.  Playing in the Fall League will give Bell the opportunity to amass another 80-100 ABs to continue his development and provide the Orioles an opportunity to evaluate Bell against other top prospects.  Hopefully this time next season I’ll be writing about Josh Bell taking the AL by storm, a la Gordon Beckham.

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Posted on 24 August 2009 by Glenn Clark

You get props……

1-Brian Roberts, John Danks, and Nolan Reimold

In other Orioles news, I was sitting at the Maryland football scrimmage Sunday when I found out that Adam Jones had left the game against the White Sox early. WNST’s Luke Jones asked me “Why?” and I responded “Because he had something better to do?”

If you don’t think that’s funny; you take yourself way too seriously. I’m looking at you, Melewski. Looking forward to MASN’s coverage of Maryland football this season. Also, the Maryland Cornhole Cup was rescheduled…..so Team Gator Bites has another chance to dominate. September 19th pal. You and I can run through the competition in Annapolis.

2-Roger Federer and Elena Dementieva

Apparently this girl won a tennis tournament this weekend………


……..like it matters.

3-Shaun Hill and Derek Anderson

Maybe former Terps QB Shaun Hill should actually be on the “Lucky” list seeing as how he didn’t even have to PLAY and he locked up the starting QB job with the 49ers.

Of course, starting QB for the 49ers at this point has about as much prestige as being the starting QB for Glen Burnie High School.

That’s right Forrester; the Gophers suck.

Also, Derek Anderson may well have taken a step to securing the Browns’ starting QB job…..by somehow being not quite as awful as this human being……


4-David Pauley, Ryohei Tanaka, Brandon Waring and Joel Palanco

Elsewhere in Orioles minor league action this weekend; the Aberdeen Ironbirds were no-hit Sunday by Brooklyn’s Brandon Moore.

Which goes to show you that this organization is REALLY committed to getting you prepared for what life is going to be like once you come to Baltimore…….

5-Michelle Wie, Ryan Moore and Mike Reid

I want to thank WNST.net blogger BJ Appel, former Harford Community College golf standout Chris Appel, and their lovely family for hosting our fantasy football draft Saturday night. They supplied Gatorade, crabs, cookie bars, and I added orange drink and Doritos to the party. It couldn’t have been lovelier.

But it was slightly awkward when we walked downstairs and Chris was watching something that is apparently called “The Solheim Cup.”

I’m not entirely certain of what “The Solheim Cup” is, but I do know that no matter how many participants in the event looked like this……


…..this was not event created with heterosexual men in mind.

6-Kyle Busch and Dario Franchitti

Kyle Busch swept the NASCAR races at Bristol this season; which made Rex Snider interested………and no one else.

Speaking of sports no one is watching, my friend Dave Carey (formerly of the Baltimore Examiner) passed along this WNBA video game commercial he saw recently…….

…..which is good because I DO like layups, defense, jump shots, and layups!

7-Scott Feldman, Jack Cust, Michael Cuddyer, Chris Carpenter, Ryan Garko, Carlos Pena, Kevin Youkilis, Charlie Haeger, Roy Oswalt, Clayton Richard, Ryan Raburn and Hideki Matsui

Elsewhere in the world of baseball, Jason Giambi will reportedly join the Colorado Rockies.

Remember when SI called Giambi “the new face of baseball?”


I legitimately believe Otis Nixon would have been a better nominee for the award…..


(Editor’s note: Alex Cole may have been the unluckiest man in baseball card history.)

8-Jozy Altidore and Wayne Rooney

If you think I knew that the Premier League had begun, you’d be wrong. But I do know that since losing the UEFA Champions League to Fox; ESPN has invested a great deal in all sorts of other soccer. I’m all for this of course; as there’s nothing better than waking up after an evening of 13-15 hundred Clipper City Ales and having live sports on TV.

Of course, I guess whenever you wake up at 2pm there’s normally live sports on TV; but Premier League soccer is about 1,000,000,000,000,000 times better than waking up to Tom Davis and Phil Wood taking about the Nationals on my TV.

“Tom, let’s talk about the 1952 World Series”

Christ. Melewski and these guys deserve each other. I’m not completely certain, but I think they should re-name MASN “OWGHNIWPRGACAN” (Old White Guys Have No Idea What People Really Give A Crap About Network.)

9-Allyson Felix, Sanya Richards, Debbie Dunn and Lashinda Demus; Angelo Taylor, Jeremy Wariner, Kerron Clement and LaShawn Merritt and Brittney Reese

In other Track and Field news……..Usain Bolt is really fast?

Did Usain Bolt REALLY get a piece of the Berlin Wall? I’ve officially found a gift more useless than the copy of David Cassidy’s greatest hits I gave Josiah Potter for his 16th birthday.

Also, did we ever figure out if that one track chick was a dude or not? This has been the most distressing problem I’ve faced since I ran out of clean underwear last week and didn’t have time to do laundry before having to go back to Training Camp.

You expect me to let you know how I solved this problem; but I’m pretty sure you already know.

10-Tim Tebow

I’m not REALLY impressed by the fact that Florida was selected preseason number 1 in the AP poll; I’m just contractually obligated to remind you of how great Tim Tebow is at least once a blog.

Look man, the first time you go to the Philippines and perform circumcisions; I’ll blog about you. In the meantime, have another sip of your Zima and remember that Lord Tebow is greater than you.

11-McDaniel College

Successfully hosted roughly 100,000 Ravens fans this year during Training Camp. Maybe the most remarkable statistic is that I only nearly fought with ONE member of the S.A.F.E. management team this year.

It’s not that I’m suggesting that Training Camp should move from Westminster. But if it were to, maybe THIS could be an acceptable alternative?


12-Luke Ramirez and Andy Rios, Nicholas Smisek and Steven Cardone

I kinda think the whole Little League World Series concept is weird. But I know that if I were to start a Little League team, Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez would be my first pick…..

the jet

And while we’re here; let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way…..

How can baseball be so awful yet The Sandlot be the greatest movie of all time???

13-Caleb Porzel and Eric Franklin

I couldn’t help but notice how much better the running backs were than the quarterbacks at Sunday’s Maryland Football Scrimmage.

That may or may not be a good thing. But Porzel looks like he’s going to be special.

I do have one suggestion for the Terps’ freshman running back. No matter how great you get, stay away from this woman….


Look man, I know. I’ve lost hours on that ass myself, and I’ve never even met her. But it has ruined greater men. Just trust me.

14-Third Eye Blind

I picked up a copy of their new CD “Ursa Major”, selected Track 4 and permanently selected “repeat”……

I dare you to tell me about why you like Weezer. Christ.

15-The K-Series and Magic Hat Wacko

It is really difficult for me to explain what my Friday night was like. But I CAN tell you that it involved a few hundred Wackos and a house where they had an industrial sized oven on the back patio. I affectionately referred to it as “The K Series.”

Apparently I was at a house in Jarrettsville……which may or may not actually be in America. An ex of mine (The Artist Formerly Known as the Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet?) had a party at a house that was so bizarre it isn’t even possible for me to really capture the awesomeness of the place.

It had a beach.
It had a strange greenhouse structure.
It had wires hanging everywhere.
It had a random man holding an umbrella.

If this was your house, please don’t be offended. I really found your place to be very awesome. And really freaking weird.

You got lucky…….

1-Eric Bruntlett

Yeah, cause sometimes THIS just happens…….

This would be like me accidentally wandering into Mother’s in Federal Hill and walking out with this…..


Speaking of which, have you heard that the guy who made “The Wrestler” is making a movie in which Mila Kunis has “aggressive sex” with Natalie Portman?

I’m not a Bill Simmons fan at all; but I’m pretty sure after seeing this movie, I will be able to write the sequel to “Now I Can Die In Peace.”

2-Anyone who can punt at the new Texas Stadium


I love the fact that Jerry Jones is now failing at everything he does. Sorta like his scheduling for the final game in the OTHER Texas Stadium……

The Cowboys are just awful. They and the Redskins deserve each other. Is there any rivalry in the world that features such passion between two teams despite the fact that NO ONE outside the two cities gives a crap about either of them?

3-Loyola College Students

I have no idea who won the showdown between Michael Phelps and Shaquille O’Neal Sunday night; mostly because I chose to go to a real college (Maryland) instead of being a Greyhound. But Shaquille O’Neal is so awesome that even he can make Michael Phelps interesting enough to be worth watching. Plus, he did this…….

4-Ricketts Family

I have a suggestion, Ricketts family. Want to make the Cubs kick ass again? Re-sign this man…..


“He knows my name!”

5-Juan Diaz and Andre Berto

Just when Chad Ochocinco was starting to seem cool again…….

……he had to go and turn into an ass again. I hope Andre Berto pounds him to within an inch of his life.

Meanwhile, Diaz won a questionable decision over Paulie Malignaggi in Houston. After the fight, he said some NSFW things like “boxing is full of sh*t” and “nobody watches boxing anymore because of sh*t like this.”

Which at least goes to show that he understands EXACTLY what’s going on currently in his sport.

6-Brett Favre

Who’s more popular in the North/Midwest? Favre……or Buscemi?

(Editor’s Note: Language NSFW. Unless you work at Perry Hall High School. Speaking of which, TLDGOTFOTP spends her first day as a teacher at Perry Hall Middle School tomorrow. I told her not to be worried because it’s safer to know that some of the kids are carrying guns.)

7-Anyone who has insurance for their Fantasy Football team

Look man, I’m a little worried about the long-term health of my 3rd round pick (Kurt Warner) myself; especially seeing as how I also selected Larry Fitzgerald and Steve Breaston…….but INSURANCE?

(Editor’s note: Also, if you’re the guy who Skypes into a Fantasy Football Draft and is COMPLETELY unprepared, it might be time to find a new league. Drafting Joe Flacco will only salvage you so much in my mind.)

You’re a zero……..

Anyone (like me) who never had the privilege of eating an ice cream bar with Hulk Hogan on it


As I was stealing an internet stream of Summerslam Sunday night (Jeff Hardy leaping off a ladder to drive CM Punk through the announce table? Yes please.), it came to my attention that there was once an ice cream bar that featured the Hulkster right there on the cookie. I don’t know how this ever happened……but I am good and embarrassed.

As far as the greatest inventions of all time are concerned; I know electricity and the light bulb were cool, and sliced bread has its place, but there is no doubt that this is Number 1……with a bullet.

(Editor’s note: Here’s the video of Hardy pummeling Punk. I’m sure it’ll be up for at least 10 minutes or so…..)

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983……


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Do the White Sox covet George Sherrill?

Posted on 29 July 2009 by Nestor Aparicio

We’re getting down to the nitty gritty on the MLB trading deadline. The Cliff Lee deal today and a few other minor deals will have folks buzzing over the next 36 hours.

Ken Rosenthal floated some information today that was interesting in regard to George Sherrill at Fox Sports.

From Rosenthal:

“As many as eight teams are pursuing Orioles closer George Sherrill, and two or three are “actively engaged” with Baltimore in discussions, according to a major-league source.

The Orioles expect that the number of teams serious about Sherrill actually might grow once the big-name starting pitchers get traded — or not.

The Dodgers have maintained interest in Sherrill, and a number of their prospects appeal to the Orioles. The Angels are “mildly” involved, according to one major-league source.

The Phillies are unlikely to act on Sherrill now that they are preparing to trade four prospects for Indians left-hander Cliff Lee.”

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Monday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 20 July 2009 by Glenn Clark

Don’t get me started on the Salazar-Meredith trade. If you want to trade Salazar; that’s fine. It really doesn’t bother me much. Salazar IS no more than a nice bench piece. But this idea that you NEEDED to trade Salazar because you couldn’t possibly let go of Felix Pie is nuts.

Also, “Andy MacPhail didn’t do it again.” He acquired a less than mediocre reliever. It was a little for nothing trade.

Let’s see what everyone else has to say….

Best of Sunday’s WNST Blogs:

Drew Forrester says Cla Meredith already proved himself to be ‘also-ran’

Bob Haynie says Ravens, Suggs handled negotiations in ‘calm, professional way’

Glenn Clark says Zaun proving to be power hitting catcher Wieters hasn’t been


The Official Site’s Patrick Mooney says Guthrie went 8 innings to help Birds top White Sox

The Official Site provides numerical evidence of win

The Official Site’s Patrick Mooney says David Hernandez returns tonight to face Andy Pettitte, Yankees in New York

The Official Site’s Patrick Mooney says Birds trade Salazar to San Diego for pitcher Cla Meredith

White Sox Official Site’s Jesse Temple says Contreras suffered from ‘control issues’ in loss to Birds

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Zaun crushed 3 run homer, tallied 4 RBI for Birds in win over Pale Hose

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says MacPhail believes Meredith gives O’s ‘different look in bullpen’

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Bombers outscored Birds 27-9 in sweep in teams’ first series at Yankee Stadium this season

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck thinks Mickolio will head back down to make room for Meredith

The AP says Luke Scott added RBI double for Birds in win

Carroll County Times says Meredith had 4-2 record, 4.17 ERA with Padres this season before trade

Examiner Jay Trucker says MacPhail believes Meredith could be ‘poor man’s Chad Bradford’

Chicago Tribune’s Dave Van Dyck says 32,000 saw Birds top ChiSox at U.S. Cellular Field

Chicago Sun-Times’ Toni Ginnetti says Getz, Wise homered for White Sox in loss

Chicago Daily Herald’s Scot Gregor says Contreras gave up 4 walks, hit 2 batters with pitches, and uncorked 2 wild pitches in loss


Norfolk Tides Official Site says Andy Mitchell improved to 8-2 with win over Charlotte

Bowie Baysox Official Site says Ambiorix Concepcion had all 3 RBI for Baysox in loss to Akron

Frederick Keys Official Site says Crancer homered for Keys in win over Wilmington

Delmarva Shorebirds Official Site says Victor Castillo had both RBI for Shorebirds in loss to Bowling Green

Aberdeen Ironbirds Official Site says Tyler Sexton’s 6 shutout innings not enough as Ironbirds fell to Vermont

Bluefield Orioles Official Site says Mike Flacco got only hit for Orioles in loss to Johnson City

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Sean Gleason picked up win for Keys over Blue Rocks

Virginian-Pilot’s Rainer Sabin says Blake Davis tagged Bartolo Colon for home as Tides topped Knights


The AP says McNair’s death has changed the way some athletes think

SI’s Sean Payton (he coaches the Saints, you know) remembers McNair as ‘fierce competitor’

NFL.com’s Pat Kirwan says Heap not showing back injury at American Century Celebrity Golf Championship

Fox Sports’ Ed Thompson says Mason needs to actually make decision

ESPN.com’s James Walker says Ravens ‘smart’ to invest money on defensive side of ball


The Diamondback’s Michael Lemaire says Bruce Campbell could become ‘dominant’ left tackle


The Official Site says former Eagle Tywain McKee scored 4 for Wizards in Summer League win over Knicks


Examiner Richard Crabbe says Machel Millwood thought winning championship ‘good feeling’


Daily Racing Form’s Mike Farrell says Belmont winner Summer Bird worked out in preparation for Haskell Invitational


Swimnetwork.com’s Bob Schaller says Phelps’ presence alone brings media attention alone to sport


The Sun’s Kevin Cowherd supportive of making Baltimore Grand Prix happen


-Please check out my 15-7-0. I’m spent from this weekend.

Talk to you tomorrow.


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Posted on 20 July 2009 by Glenn Clark

You get props…..

1-Jim Thome, Jeremy Guthrie and Gregg Zaun

“Sliced bread is actually the best thing since Gregg Zuan.”

OH, LOL! Relax Baltimore; we’ve been waiting for our power-hitting catcher! He’s just a few years older than what we expected.

And by a few years, I mean 64.

But he did have 4 more RBI than Matt Wieters Sunday. He should probably be the permanent catcher for Jeremy Guthrie; who, for a day at least, resembled a pitcher again.

I resembled a pitcher once. Unfortunately it was this pitcher……


(I like to call him “The Dominican Bachman” myself)

2-Troy Aikman, Lou Holtz, John Cooper, Thurman Thomas, Jay Novacek, Jim Donnan, Randall McDaniel, and Roger Brown

John Cooper’s special day wasn’t quite the same after he realized Lloyd Carr had beat him to the induction ceremony.

It was strange to hear Lou Holtz open his speech by saying “I’m happy to be here and all, but I just don’t know if I’m good enough. I really have no idea how I can compete with a fella like Jim Donnan. He’s just so good. We’re lucky to be here. I don’t think we have a chance of winning.”

Troy Aikman and Jay Novacek said they were thankful to have the chance to remember their life before their pro careers. They only wished their teammate Michael Irvin was capable of doing the same thing.

All of these one-liners are just part of the new “Glenn Clark’s corny one-liner” Comedy Class which will be available this semester at the Community College of Baltimore County. It isn’t actually a credited class; just an excuse for me to try to surround myself by pretty girls with low standards.

3-Bo Van Pelt and Rick Rhoden

Bo Van Pelt won the golf tournament this weekend that you were allowed to play in if you weren’t good enough to play in the other actually important golf tournament. You know-the one that was nearly won by a guy who retired 15 years ago.

Does Bo Van Pelt really get a trophy for that accomplishment? REALLY?

The event Rhoden won was called the “I don’t watch golf when the talented players play; why in the hell would I watch when the guys who aren’t talented play?” Open. It’s some sort of celebrity event; which still confuses me as to why Rhoden is there.

But thanks to Deadspin for this screen shot of Michael Jordan and an inflatable penis. You didn’t read that wrong; it’s just Michael Jordan and an inflatable penis. Which reminds me of the average Thursday at my grandparents’ house.


4-Brandon Snyder, Wally Crancer, Nathan Moreau, Patrick Kantakevich, and Matt Hobgood

Thus far in his pro career, Matt Hobgood has given up one run on hits over 1 inning; and has committed one error.

I was going to make a crack here about how he was already better than Rich Hill; but I’m a little concerned about Rich Hill’s self confidence. Look at the poor kid…..

I’d say he could drown his sorrows with 3-400 beers; but he can’t legally drink for another 5 years.

(Editor’s note: Please tell me his baseball card doesn’t look like one of those cards you had in Little League. Hilarious!)

5-Robin Soderling

Won a tennis tournament this weekend. You’d probably care more, but you thought Robin Soderling did the song “Show Me Love” in 1993.

6-Alberto Contador

Seriously, why the hell does EVERYONE IN THE WORLD have a better name than I do? Helio Castroneves? Dario Franchitti? Steele Stanwick? ALBERTO FREAKING CONTADOR????????

Clearly their parents loved me more than my parents loved me. Which I’m just going to have to live with.

Lance Armstrong apparently won’t be winning the Tour De France. Which only means that the Tour de France’s ratings will again be a 2 instead of a 5.

(Editor’s note: Those ratings points aren’t in millions.)

7-John Lackey, J.A. Happ, Jason Marquis, Dan Haren, Clayton Kershaw, Roy Oswalt, and Bronson Arroyo

You know what. I take it all back. J.A. Happ’s name is actually Jay Happ. HAHA! Someone’s parents loved them less than my parents loved me!!!!!!!

(Editor’s note: My parents really do love me. With that in mind, can I borrow like $100? And by “borrow”, I mean “spend on beer and never pay you back.”)


That’s a picture of Bronson Arroyo and a person who I assume must be a close family friend.

Don’t get too suicidal just yet. I mean, if you heard this, you’d sleep with him too….

8-Michael Phelps

God is this a stretch. I’m honoring Michael Phelps for winning more ESPY awards than anyone else; and the ESPY awards were actually taped on Wednesday; then aired on Sunday.

Of course, this gave me the perfect opportunity to find out what else was on TV Sunday night; because I’d rather have a giant wart on my foot than watch the ESPY’s.

(Editor’s note: the last line was probably only funny to my friend Julie; who recently had a wart removed from her foot. She’d be really embarrassed if she ever knew I wrote this publicly, but she’s a pretty girl; so there’s no chance she’ll ever read it. Yeah, pretty girls ignore me. It’s like high school all over again.)

Back to the point; as I Facebooked Sunday night (and if you’re not my Facebook friend, your life isn’t quite as meaningful), having the ESPY’s as the only sports viewing option Sunday night; I decided to give Brooke Knows Best a shot.


Who am I kidding? I watch every week.

9-Nik Caner-Medley

This is going to come as a surprise to you; but I had no idea Nik Caner-Medley was playing for the LA Clippers’ Summer League team. No, I’m serious. I stopped stalking him 7 months ago.

After hitting a pull-up jumper over Wizards guard Nick Young, Caner-Medley laughed and said “I’m from Maryland. Nobody can beat me.”


10-Garrett Jones, Albert Pujols, and Alfonso Soriano

In other baseball news; Orlando Hudson will reportedly end up collecting more than double his salary thanks to an incentive-laden contract. No word on whether the Orioles can seek an incentive-laden refund from Felix Pie.

11-The Blackberry Commercial with U2 doing “I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight”

Never before have I wanted to buy a Blackberry, spend 100 dollars to see a band from the upper deck of a football stadium; AND somehow try to change my life to make myself a better person. You want the definition of effective advertising? Holy crap.

12-Kyle Busch and NASCAR

With newspapers no longer being able to afford to send motorsports writers across the country to watch grown men drive cars; NASCAR has figured out another way to fill their press boxes, and it is absolutely a smart idea. Bloggers can now apply for credentials to NASCAR races. Well, bloggers NASCAR approves of anyway. Which truly does go to show that anyone can have a voice in the era of new media. Even if their thoughts are WAY off base. Sorta like this noted NASCAR follower…..


13-D2: The Mighty Ducks

Look, my TV was just as confused as you’d imagine when I flipped to the Hallmark Channel Saturday morning. My TV actually said to me “Dude, you don’t even let your girlfriend watch this channel.”

But if you don’t think this is the most inspiring scene in the history of movies, kindly leave.

I wish I could explain this further, but this scene lead to my best friend (noted musician John Chambers of “The Waywords”; whose new record is available on iTunes and I’ll charge him for that plug later) nearly having to go to the hospital before Artscape Saturday. Use your imagination.

14-Smoothie King’s “Caribbean Way”


Are they a sponsor? Who cares. They’re AMAZING. This is what God intended for us to drink. (He intended for us to eat Chick-Fil-A chicken sandwiches if you’re asking.)

15-Robert Randolph


I think I just got pregnant.

I can only pray that anyone who attended Artscape Saturday night realized just what it was they were witnessing. July 18, 2009 will forever be remembered as the day that one man saved the city of Baltimore.

One of our former interns had to leave right after Robert’s 2nd song. My girlfriend (You know her-“The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet”) looked at me and said “Where is she going?” I looked back and said “I don’t know. But I know this much. It’s not as good as here.”

Did anyone notice the sharp-looking Joe Flacco jersey Robert’s bassist-Danyel-was sporting? I wonder where that came from…..

Oh right. You’re welcome Baltimore.

You got lucky……..

1-Kenny Cooper Jr. and Nicci Wright

Holy crap we almost lost to Panama???? Why the hell are all of our good players playing for money right now???? Poor Bob Bradley had to let Jason Berken play!!!!!

In news completely unrelated to soccer; hearing the name Nicci Wright (the Washington women’s team’s coach who pitched a shutout when pressed into action as a goalkeeper) reminded me that adult film actress Nikki Benz is attractive…..


She pitched a shutout once too. Yeah, in my pants! High five!

2-Stewart Cink

This is really a shame. I was looking forward to seeing Tom Watson drink from the Claret Jug. Of course it would have been prune juice; but I bet it would have been a wild party nonetheless.

Congratulations to Stewart Cink for beating up an old man. I’d be more upset, but it’s golf. I legitimately picked Nick Faldo to win the damn thing the other day. Tom Watson winning wouldn’t have been an amazing accomplishment; this is the same sport that has crowned John Daly king on more than one occasion.

3-The guy standing outside Erin Andrews’ peephole………

…….for now.


Let’s admit two things here:

One-we all think whoever is responsible is a creep who deserves to suffer a lawsuit and/or prison time. He’s the lowest of low human beings; and completely disgusting.

Two-Not one of us can really admit to having not Googled “Erin Andrews peephole” at some point this weekend.

Look man, if it didn’t exist; I would have never searched. (Editor’s note: That’s probably not true. I probably would have searched at some point in my life even if I didn’t know it existed. There’s always a hope, right?)

Also, I don’t really get the fascination this country has with Erin Andrews. I mean, there are other hot chicks in the world of sports, aren’t there?


Okay, maybe that wasn’t the best example.

4-Oscar Salazar

You mean to tell me that I don’t have to play for the Orioles anymore?

And I get to move here……?


This is a joke, right? You’re all just having fun with old Oscar; aren’t you???

5-Maikon Bonani

Haven’t heard the story? The South Florida kicker fell 30 feet from an amusement park ride and is apparently okay.

I remember growing up I always felt like the people who were running the potentially dangerous thrill rides at my favorite amusement parks were probably expertly trained, highly paid, and easily the most responsible people in the world. If lives were in peril; they would be immediately available to step in and save the day.

But after a recent trip to a local amusement park (the one in Largo. It will remain nameless.), I have now become very aware that the ride operators are about as qualified for difficult situations as I am to talk about Sonya Sotomayor. Who I think will make a hell of a Secretary of State whenever the UN gets around to giving her the ol’ thumbs up.

(Editor’s Note: Please don’t tell me it is spelled “Sonia.” This was a bit. “Sonia” Sotomayor is going to be the next attorney general. I know that. I’m not stupid.)

(Editor’s 2nd Note: Does anyone else find it funny that I write these notes as the “editor” when I don’t actually do any editing? I usually just type out whatever nonsense comes to my mind at 1am and then I allow Intern Steven Patrick to tell me Monday morning that I spelled “figuratively” as “pineapple.” Look man, we all make mistakes.)

6-Anyone who got their news from Walter Cronkite

You had one of the great newsmen of all-time. We have Andy Rooney bitching about fruit.



Could you imagine a better weekend to come out of your parents’ basement? I mean, not only did Harry Potter come out and make something like 100 trillion dollars; but Baltimore became the world’s nerd hub for the weekend….


Thanks to Examiner.com for the picture of……..that. Otakon hit the Baltimore Convention Center, and from what I can tell; Otakon is basically just the same as your average downtown bar or club. Everyone there is just trying to get laid. The only difference is that most of the people at your average bar or club have actually gotten laid before.

You’re a zero……


John Sterling


On Friday night, I heard something so vile I almost threw my beer across the room.

“Long fly ball……….that’s a Tex Message, to the 2nd deck. You’re on the mark, Teixeira!”

I want to drive to New York tomorrow to boo both of them. That’s worse than the “A-Bomb for A-Rod.”



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Friday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 17 July 2009 by Glenn Clark

In case you missed it, Drew’s list of his Top 5 “Baltimore Sports Jerks” was…..

10-Sidney Ponson & Richie Bancells (Tie)
9-Gary Williams
8-Roberto Alomar
7-Albert Belle
6-Jerry Coleman & Drew Forrester (Tie)
5-Aubrey Huff
4-Tony Siragusa
3-Erik Bedard
2-Chris McAlister
1-Lee Mazzilli

And my list of the Top 10 “Baltimore Sports Jerks” was……

10-Terrell Owens
9-Michael Phelps
8-Lee Mazzilli
7-Rafael Palmeiro
6-Sammy Sosa
5-Tony Siragusa
4-Sidney Ponson
3-Albert Belle
2-Peter Angelos
1-Bob Irsay

Let’s see what everyone else has to say…..

Best of Thursday’s WNST Blogs:

Tom Clayton says Suggs will face more ‘pressure’ after signing massive contract

Marco Romanell says Summer of ’09 ‘revival’ for Baltimore sports


The Official Site says trip to Chicago amongst early road schedule for Birds in 2nd half

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says MacPhail expects decision on Trembley to come later in season than usual

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Opening Day win; comeback wins over Phillies, Red Sox, Jays, Mets amongst highlights of Birds’ first half

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Pale Hose had ‘nondescript’ first half of season

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Birds have been best at plate, worst on basepaths

Examiner Jay Trucker hopes Buck isn’t on O’s-White Sox FOX broadcast Saturday

Carroll County Times’ Josh Land says Birds 24-23 since May 22


Norfolk Tides Official Site says David Pauley loser as Norfolk fell to Charlotte

Bowie Baysox Official Site says Matusz winner as Bowie beat Akron in slugfest

Frederick Keys Official Site says Britton loser as Frederick fell to Kinston

Delmarva Shorebirds Official Site says Oliver Drake winner as Delmarva topped Lexington

Aberdeen Ironbirds Official Site says Procner loser as Aberdeen fell to Lowell

Bluefield Orioles Official Site says Mike Flacco tallied run, RBI for Orioles in win over Bristol

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Hobgood could make debut for Bluefield Saturday vs. Johnson City

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Krynzel went 4-6 with two triples for Baysox in win over Aeros

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Baysox reliever Wilfredo Perez likely out for season

Frederick News-Post’s Stan Goldberg says Widlansky’s homer provided only run for Keys in loss

Virginian-Pilot says Carlos Quentin rehabbing with Knights against Tides


The Official Site’s Mike Duffy says Figurs, Carr, Webb, Zbikowski, Rice to all compete for return job

The Official Site’s Mike Duffy says despite history in Supplemental Draft (Gaither), Ravens didn’t make selection this year

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Suggs ‘real deal’, worth big contract

The Sun says Ravens single game tickets available today via Ticketmaster

The AP says some believe McNair’s death ‘wake up call’ for cheating athletes

Fox Sports’ Jason Whitlock says McNair’s death example of why athletes shouldn’t get married

Fox Sports’ Adam Schein doesn’t believe Mason retired

The AP says Nashville judge allows Mechelle McNair to be executor of husband’s estate

Pro Football Weekly’s Mike Wilkening says TE’s Heap, Smith will need to step up if Mason really retired

ESPN.com’s James Walker says Flacco, Reed, 52 might be most important player in AFC North


The Diamondback’s Michael Lemaire thinks WR Quintin McCree could break out this season

The Diamondback’s Michael Lemaire says Lee-Odai, Adrian Cannon give Terps ‘depth’ at WR

ESPN.com’s Heather Dinich says Terps have ‘solid group’ of RB’s in Scott, Green, Meggett

Terrapin Times’ Mark Clem says VA QB prospect Bo Revell worked out for Terps (must subscribe)


Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens details Burney’s injury history

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Terps to visit UNC-Greensboro Jan. 3 at 2pm

Terrapin Times’ Mark Clem says hoops prospect Jarrod Davis emerged at West Virginia event (must subscribe)


The Official Site says former Retriever Ricky Fried named coach of US Women’s National Team


The Official Site says 6 former Blue Jays all MLL All-Stars


Ravens Official Site says grass to be installed today at M&T Bank Stadium for AC Milan-Chelsea match


Examiner Jeff Hemelt says 4 Palace players named to USL-2’s Team of the Week


Daily Racing Form’s Mary Rampellini says Rachel Alexandra trainer Steve Asmussen suspended 6 months

Thoroughbred Times’ Jeff Lowe says Asmussen to appeal suspension for ’08 lidocaine positive


The Sun says Phelps ended Tiger’s streak of winning top ESPY at 5


The AP says Garrett County logger Darvin Moon chip leader at World Series of Poker


Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Mark “TNT” Tucker to face Rubin “Mr. Hollywood” Williams tonight at Carroll County Agricultural Center


-Anyone else have a bad feeling the Birds will get swept by the ChiSox this weekend? I’ll take it back. Bergesen goes Sunday. They’ll win that one.

Talk to you this weekend.


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Wednesday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 08 July 2009 by Glenn Clark

Is anyone else confused as to why the Orioles are shopping Oscar Salazar instead of Ty Wigginton?

I mean, I wouldn’t be stunned if Wigginton just had no value; but Salazar does WAY more for me than Wigginton does.

Let’s see what everyone else has to say……

Best of Tuesday’s WNST Blogs:

Nestor Aparicio says Scott had most RBI for Birds in single game since Ramon Hernandez in ‘06

Bob Haynie wonders if Birds should be interested in Halladay

Thyrl Nelson says ‘indifference’ issue for Birds

Marco Romanell says Birds have struggled vs. lefties

Cliff Saunders disagrees with how Jay Mariotti handled McNair death

Keith Melchior has had enough of McNair news

Rex Snider says Hall of Famers to participate in Curing Cancer One Win at a Time

Nestor Aparicio says WNST.net now home for AP stats


The Official Site’s Doug Miller says Scott (7 RBI) lead way as Birds trounced Mariners

The Official Site provides numerical evidence of win

The Official Site’s Doug Miller says David Hernandez takes mound tonight in series finale vs. Jason Vargas in Seattle

The Official Site’s Doug Miller says Trembley ejected for arguing early in win

The Official Site’s Doug Miller says Birds will listen to teams interested in Pie, Salazar

The Official Site’s Doug Miller says ‘flu symptoms’ kept Roberts out of lineup in win

Mariners Official Site’s Christian Caple says 19,000 saw M’s fall to O’s at Safeco Field

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Guthrie forced to leave in 3rd inning of win due to ‘dizziness’

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Trembley believed Reimold, defended him leading to ejection

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says Birds had conversations with White Sox regarding Pie

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Scott finished double short of cycle in win

Seattle Times’ Tom Wyrwich says Bedard showed good stuff before leaving game after 4 innings

The AP says Jakubauskas took loss for Mariners in relief

Everett Herald’s Kirby Arnold says Hendrickson picked up win for Birds in relief

SI’s Tom Verducci has Bergesen 3rd amongst American League Rookie of the Year candidates

CBS Sports’ Larry Dobrow has Birds 25th in power rankings

ESPN.com’s Jerry Crasnick says Reimold, Markakis, Jones give Birds ‘high hopes’ in OF


Norfolk Tides Official Site says Arrieta winner as Tides topped Charlotte

Bowie Baysox Official Site says Matusz threw 8 innings of shutout, 1 hit ball in win over Senators

MLB.com’s Brittany Ghiroli says Matusz added 11 strikeouts in win for Baysox

Frederick Keys Official Site says Widlansky homered twice for Keys in win over Kinston

Delmarva Shorebirds Official Site says McCurry loser as Shorebirds fell to Kannapolis

Aberdeen Ironbirds Official Site says Kantakevich loser as Ironbirds fell to Brooklyn

Bluefield Orioles Official Site says Jorge Almanzar loser as Bluefield fell to Burlington

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Izturis 2-3, with SB and 2 runs for Bowie in rehab assignment

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Ouellette pitched scoreless 9th to finish off Bowie’s win over Harrisburg

Frederick News-Post’s Stan Goldberg says Caleb Joseph often sleeps at clubhouse instead of home

Frederick News-Post says Joe Esposito picked up first win of season for Keys

Virginian-Pilot says Jolbert Cabrera crushed 3 run homer for Tides in win


The Official Site’s Geoff Peckham says Mason remembers former teammate McNair’s ‘passion for the game’

The Official Site breaks down timeline of McNair incident

The Sun’s Jamison Hensley says McNair ‘unlikely’ to get support for Hall enshrinement

Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Mark Clayton remembered McNair as football camp opened at McDaniel

The AP says ‘lack of motive’ slowing ruling in McNair case

Tennessean’s Gary Estwick says McNair’s death ‘big blow’ to Mount Olive, Mississippi

Tennessean says Titans to hold tribute to McNair today and tomorrow at LP Field

Nashville City Paper’s Ken Whitehouse and Sam Claycombe say Kazemi’s ex wrote rap song about murder

Nashville City Paper’s Nate Rau says Nashville authorities awaiting ballistics test results to determine cause of Kazemi’s death

NFL.com’s Steve Wyche says McNair’s life ‘hard to decipher’

Fox Sports’ Jason Whitlock doesn’t think McNair necessarily ‘hero’

ESPN.com’s Paul Kuharsky says McNair had good fortune to not be forced to start on Day 1

ESPN.com’s James Walker says some in AFC North believe Flacco will ‘break out’ this season

ESPN.com Page 2’s Tim Keown says Holly Robinson Peete took to Twitter for McNair thoughts


Terrapin Times’ Mark Clem says Good Counsel DE/TE prospect Vincent Croce camped with Terps (must subscribe)

Turtle Sports Report’s Allen Wallace says Havenstein was Maryland fan before becoming Maryland commit (must subscribe)


Inside Lacrosse’s Christian Swezey says midfielder Drew Collins to transfer from Penn to Blue Jays


The Official Site says Ambrose, other Tigers coaches to make appearance in Federal Hill next week


Go Mids’ Adam Nettina catches up with CB Blake Carter


SwimNetwork.com’s Andrew Silver says Phelps getting ‘all buzz’ in Indianapolis

The Sun’s Kevin Van Valkenburg says struggles continued for Katie Hoff in Indianapolis


Daily Racing Form’s Marty McGee says Derby winner Mine That Bird breezed Tuesday at Churchill Downs

Thoroughbred Times says trainer Woolley thought Mine That Bird ‘looked perfect’ in workout


The Sun’s Jeff Barker says potential Baltimore Grand Prix organizers believe race would be ‘safe’


The Sun’s Kevin Cowherd says 65,000 tickets already sold for Chelsea-AC Milan at M&T Bank Stadium


-Overpaying for a free agent pitcher > overpaying and overtrading for a current big name pitcher. I’d love to see Roy Halladay in Baltimore, but I don’t think they can afford to pay both costs.

Talk to you tomorrow.


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Friday Morning’s Crabs and Beer

Posted on 12 June 2009 by Glenn Clark

Are you going to the LPGA Championship? I would, if it wasn’t golf.

Sorry I don’t have more to add this morning. I recommend you go to the audio vault and listen to Drew’s interview with John Gilchrist. For a guy who got a bad rap at Maryland, John has really focused himself on becoming a better basketball player and human being.

Let’s see what everyone else has to say….

Best of Thursday’s WNST Blogs:

Luke Jones says Birds’ effort ‘listless’ in losing to Mariners again

Nestor Aparicio says Wigginton, Zaun, Andino actually contributed from bottom of lineup

Luke Jones thinks Birds just as well to draft Flacco

Thyrl Nelson says Reimold, Scott only Orioles hitting

Bob Haynie celebrating at The Nest with Charm City Roller Girls tonight before Braves-Orioles


The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says Uehara struggled after rain delay as Birds fell to Mariners

The Official Site provides numerical evidence of loss

The Official Site’s Spencer Fordin says David Hernandez sent back down to Norfolk to make room for Uehara

MLB.com’s Brian Eller says Birds select 30 pitchers in MLB Draft

MLB.com’s Brian Eller says Tommy Hanson, Braves visit Jason Berken, Birds tonight

Mariners Official Site’s Pete Kerzel says former Bird Olson shakes off tough first inning to pick up win for M’s

Norfolk Tides Official Site says Chris Ray took loss as Tides fell to Indianapolis

Bowie Baysox Official Site says Mariotti tough luck loser as Baysox fell to Connecticut

Frederick Keys Official Site says Keys, Hillcats rained out

Delmarva Shorebirds Official Site says Oliver Drake took loss as Shorebirds fell to Lake County

The Sun’s Jeff Zrebiec says 12,260 see Birds lose at Camden Yards

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Arrieta, Patton promoted to Norfolk

The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Luke Scott homered in loss

The Sun’s Mike Klingaman says Mike Flacco hoped to go earlier in Draft

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Trembley trying to ‘stay with’ players even through slump

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says tonight floppy hat night at OPACY

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. collects more thoughts on Orioles’ Draft

The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Brandon Snyder 2-4 with RBI double for Baysox in loss

Examiner Steve DeClue says Orioles made ‘mistake’ by going with Uehara over Hernandez

Examiner Steve DeClue says Mike Flacco has admitted to being ‘work in progress’

Examiner Steve DeClue says Bergesen ‘in groove’

Carroll County Times’ Josh Land says Branyan, Beltre, Lopez got RBI’s immediately after rain delay to put Mariners ahead

Carroll County Times’ Josh Land says Izturis set to rejoin Birds in Miami

Frederick News-Post says Matusz’s four scoreless innings wiped away by rain

Washington Post’s CJ Holley says Joe Jordan thought Hobgood selection ‘tough one’

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Birds drafted Terps pitcher Scott Swinson

Virginian-Pilot says Pinckney, Dorta had 2 run singles for Tides in loss

The AP says Branyan homered for Mariners in win

Seattle Times’ Geoff Baker says Mariners back to .500 after win over Birds

SI’s Ted Keith has Birds 26th in power rankings

Yahoo! Sports’ Tim Brown has Birds 29th in power rankings

ESPN.com’s James Walker says Mike Flacco will be ‘instant fan favorite’ due to last name


The Official Site’s Mike Duffy says Marshal Yanda to miss Training Camp while rehabbing knee

The Official Site’s Geoff Peckham says Joe Flacco casts ‘big shadow’ over new Oriole, younger brother Mike

The Official Site says tickets on sale Tuesday for 2010 lacrosse Final Four at M&T Bank Stadium

The Sun’s Peter Schmuck says Harbaugh seeing ‘respect’ amongst coaches


Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says OL Faiella left program

ESPN.com’s Heather Dinich wishes Terps, Penn State would re-start series

Terrapin Times’ Keith Cavanaugh says Terps interested in Pittsburgh LB/RB prospect Bruce Patterson (must subscribe)

Terrapin Times’ Mark Clem says Terps pursuing Linganore OL Havenstein (must subscribe)

Terrapin Times’ Mark Clem says Maryland, Louisville, Rutgers, Syracuse amongst schools showing interest in WR prospect Kai Dominguez (must subscribe)


Washington Post says Terps to face Villanova in BB&T Classic

Washington Times’ Patrick Stevens says Terps to visit UNC-Greensboro for ACC Tournament preview


The Sun’s Edward Lee has Jays 5th in early 2010 poll


Examiner Tom Flynn says Senator Mikulski thinks Army/Navy game return ‘great news’ for state

Go Mids’ Adam Nettina says future FB Jarred Mack good be next in great line of fullbacks in Annapolis


The Official Site says Terror’s Baines Jr. selected by White Sox; first player in McDaniel history to be drafted


The Official Site says Mariners aiming for AIFA Championship


LPGA Official Site says Castrale opens LPGA Championship with 7 under 65 to take lead

The Sun’s Kevin Cowherd enjoys ‘drama’ of Wie

The Sun’s Kevin Van Valkenburg says Shanshan Feng struggled putting due to crowd noise playing with Wie

The Sun’s Kevin Van Valkenburg says rookie Nordqvist 1 stroke off Castrale’s pace

The AP says Castrale leading Bulle Rock event after 1 round for 2nd time in last 4 years

The AP says keeping Wie near top of leaderboard will improve crowds in Havre de Grace

Washington Post’s Barry Svrluga says Wie center of attention despite being 5 shots back

Washington Examiner’s Kevin Dunleavy says veterans Pressel, Kerr, Creamer, Lincicome, etc. all struggled in Round 1

Washington Examiner’s Jim Williams says LPGA should reach out to Donald Trump


-Of course the Orioles should draft Mike Flacco. It is ABSOLUTELY the right thing to do. They should have drafted Harold Baines Jr. too.

Talk to you this weekend.


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karate kid

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Posted on 25 May 2009 by Glenn Clark

Nothing like MASN to decide that the fans of the Orioles and Nationals probably don’t want to see their own broadcasters call the games, huh. I mean, why have Rob Dibble be a guest analyst during the Orioles’ broadcast when you can just pay one TV for the weekend? Nothing says money-saving quite like MASN. Ugh….

You deserve props…..

1. Danys Baez

If chicks dig the longball, then who digs the rally-starting dribbler? Ferrets? I’m glad Danys Baez has decided to be a contributor; because Chris Ray usually decides not to be.

2. Lyoto Machida

After beating previously undefeated Rashad Evans Saturday night at UFC 98, Lyoto Machida shouted “Karate’s Back”! I certainly hope so, because this guy has been looking for work for like 25 years…..

karate kid

3. Kobe Bryant

Remember how everyone spent the week talking about how LeBron James was a better player than Kobe Bryant? Can I remind you of a couple things???

A-Three rings
B-Kobe can SHOOT the ball (And spare me about how LeBron made one really big outside jumper)

LeBron James might go down as one of the greatest players in NBA History. But Kobe Bryant already has a Hall of Fame resume. Maybe getting ahead of ourselves isn’t the best idea in the world.

4. David Hernandez, Brandon Snyder, Troy Patton, Caleb Joseph

David Hernandez collected 14 strikeouts Friday night. Chris Ray has 15 on the season.

You know what what, maybe I’m piling on Chris Ray unfairly. Brad Bergesen has made 7 starts this season and only has 18 strikeouts. But I paid money to go to a baseball game Sunday, and I liked what I saw from Brad Bergesen. I didn’t like what I saw from Chris Ray.

Before I move on from this weekend’s O’s-Nats series, I’d like to thank the Mottram Brothers at Mister Irrelevant for posting this image of a hat I saw at Nationals Park.


Washington sports fans are TERRIBLE. And since I’m at it, I have to call out my friend Matt Palmer from The Catholic Review….


PICK A TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROOT FOR THEM!!!!!!!!

5. Evgeni Malkin

You know how good the basketball playoffs are right now? The hockey playoffs are equally as bad. Like-you couldn’t pay me enough bad. I know everyone likes to tell me about how great the NHL regular season is, but the postseason has been about as exciting as this week’s PGA golf Tournament (which Rory Sabbatini apparently won-but I knew better than to think you cared).

6. Rob Pannell and Pat Perritt

So…..the lacrosse Final Four happened. Of course, since it happened in Boston and no teams from Maryland were involved, I didn’t care. Apparently no one else did, as attendance was down some 10,000 fans. Organizers said the drop in attendance was likely based on the decision to ban alcohol from the infield the economy. In a related story…..


7. Frederick Cadets

I was going to write a joke here, but then I remembered that the name of the team was the Cadets. Let’s move on…..

8. Phil Dalhauser and Todd Rodgers

I know what you’re thinking. “It must have been a lame weekend if you had to include the results of a beach volleyball Tournament. But that’s where you’re wrong. I simply included this because I REALLY needed an excuse to finally include this picture in a blog…..


9. Kenshin Kawakami, Gavin Floyd, Kyle Lohse, and Brandon McCarthy

And just in case Forrester is reading, here’s a picture of Derek Lowe…


Wait a second!!!! What’s that???? That’s Trinka Lowe!!! The lovely MRS. Derek Lowe! I’m sorry Drew…….

10. Scorpio Brown and Val Teixeira


(Sorry, I heard someone say Teixeira)

11. C.W. Post and Cortland

Notable alums from Cortland, you ask? Try…..




You see, it’s not all about lacrosse titles at Cortland! They gave us Paul Blart!

12. Mickael Pietrus

The NBA Playoffs…..where “WHO THE EFF IS MICKAEL PIETRUS?????” happens.

13. David Traver and Jack Passion

trav passion

The World Beard & Moustache Championships were held this weekend in Anchorage, Alaska. The fact that Rollie Fingers wasn’t invited should be subject of an international investigation, but I think these particular winners in the beard category were well deserving.

14. Ben’s Chili Bowl Half Smoke (All the Way)


While DC, their teams, and their fans can all bite me; I will prefer to take a bite out of this monster, which was my lunch Sunday-and was absolutely DELICIOUS. It was a mix of pork, beef, chili, mustard, cheese, onions, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickes, onions on a sesame seed bun.

15. Memorial Day (and whoever it is we’re supposed to honor on this Holiday)

Is this the one for the trees?

(Edit from GMC: I’m KIDDING, people! I know this is the one that honors grandparents. You kick ass Pop Pop!)

You got lucky……

1. LeBron James

You want me to say something that would be more captivating than the highlight? Fat chance.

Of course, there might still be 2 or 3 of you that didn’t see this…..

The NBA is like REALLY entertaining again. Thank God, because Baseball is really not.

2. Helio Castroneves

You mean to tell me you can go from the edge of prison to drinking milk and hanging with Danica Patrick in the span of less than a month? There’s hope for me after all!!!!! And did you know Helio Castroneves used to be on Dancing with the Stars? That reminds me that I’d rather be looking at a picture of Julianne Hough than talking about the Indianapolis 500…..


Julianne Hough is reportedly on “Dancing With The Stars.” I say reportedly because admitting I watch Dancing with the Stars would make some of you question things about me. Things like, “what kind of food do you normally eat when you’re watching Dancing with the Stars?” The answer is ice cream.

3. Adam Dunn (as in….the Nationals are REALLY lucky to HAVE Adam Dunn)

Spare me the thing about the Orioles shouldn’t have signed him because he strikes out a lot. He wins games…..like the one I was watching today. The following hitters are all amongst the top 25 strikeout kings in baseball…..

grif reg
jack bigg
mantle rick

4. Meredith Frank, Katrina Dowd and the Northwestern Wildcats

I hate saying this: but women’s lacrosse is just awful. I mean, really painful to watch. Thankfully for me; Northwestern and Penn found a way to make this particular game slightly less unbearable to watch. The Quakers scored 4 goals in the final minute of regulation; and then scored a goal with 11 seconds left in overtime. But since women’s lacrosse DOESN’T have a golden goal rule for some reason; the game went on, and Dowd poked home a goal with less than a second left. Frank scored the golden goal in a later overtime, then Northwestern topped North Carolina for the championship Sunday. The entire weekend at Unitas Stadium included maybe 3 hits. And they came when I was punching Maryland media relations star Sam Angell for letting me watch a women’s lacrosse game. But he did bring Berger Cookies to RFK Stadium for out “Battle of the Beltways” tailgate. And he doesn’t root for two teams. Because he’s not a comunist.

5. Panathinaikos

You mean to tell me Nick Calathes is Greek???


I don’t see it.

6. Giles Simon

The 7th seed at the French Open had to go 5 sets to advance to the 2nd round. Another seeded player has already advanced to the 2nd round in my heart…..


And sadly that might be as far as he advances this week…….

7. Anyone who still remembers all the words at the end of the night at Howl at the Moon…..

By the way, I asked around; and this DOES kick ass after all…..

You’re a zero……

Randy Starks

First Lonny Baxter shoots up the White House, now Randy Starks hits a cop with a truck. What’s next? Shay Doron sexually assaults an overweight morning radio sidekick?

(Editor’s Note: There’s nothing funny about sexual assault. Especially not if it involves Shay Doron and my dreams. WHAT?)


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If I Were In Charge Of The O’s

Posted on 04 May 2009 by Neal Bortmes

If I were in charge of the Orioles’ front office what would I do?  Well the Orioles are mired in a six game losing streak and have lost 14 of their last 18 games.  The precipitous fall down the standings has come about two months early this year and I for one would like to change that.



The first thing I would do is cut Adam Eaton and his 7.17 ERA.  Yes he did have that one good start against the White Sox, but as the saying goes a broken clock is right twice a day.  He is hardly the “veteran” presence that the O’s need when they eventually call up their pampered pitching prospects.  The second thing I would do is call up David Hernandez to take Eaton’s spot in the rotation.  Hernandez is a young guy who has been in the system a while and he deserves a shot, I think at worst he could post a 7.17 ERA and 1.73 WHIP.  And for those of you who are scared about hurting our young pitcher’s psyches it doesn’t appear that he is in the team’s long term plans for the future so seeing what he has to offer affords very little downside.  Right now Hernandez isn’t exactly tearing up AAA Norfolk but I guarantee you he can do better than Eaton.



As soon as Rich Hill proves that he is ready to return from the DL I would recall him and send Mark Hendrickson to the bullpen.  This move also has little downside because if Hill does not pan out the O’s didn’t really lose anything, but if he does regain the form that made him into a touted prospect he can help solidify the rotation.  I would say to cut Hendrickson but as he is owed considerably more than the $400,000 they are paying Eaton (1.5 million to be exact) he can serve out his term as a lefty reliever/mop-up guy and spot start in a pinch (he doesn’t have much arm left so blowing it out isn’t a concern).  This move of course would send Brian Bass and his 6.62 ERA to Norfolk to get some more “seasoning.”



The last pitching move I would make would be to replace George Sherrill as the closer.  Last season Sherrill showed signs of his inability to be the primary closer when he scuffled in the second half.  He has continued to regress this season from his All-Star worthy performance of a year ago.  I personally don’t care for the idea of a left-handed closer anyway.  With the game on the line I think the better match-up would be to have a right-handed power arm and it just so happens the Orioles have one of those in Chris Ray.  I think Ray will eventually round into form and reclaim the job as the season progresses but until then I would use a combination of either Jim Johnson or Ray (occasionally Sherrill) to finish games.  Let’s be honest with ourselves the Orioles will seldom be in the lead late in games this season so blowing saves will severely hamper the win total.  Sherrill is best in small doses as primarily a situational/set-up guy.



As far as the Felix Pie experiment I would have to call it a day for now and bring up Nolan Reimold.  Again Reimold has been in the organization for a few years and he deserves a shot with the parent club, especially the way he is tearing the cover off of the ball.  It would be a tough decision on what to do between Pie and Lou Montanez.  I would like to see Pie develop into something special but that day may never come.  He is a liability in leftfield, he runs the bases haphazardly like Melvin Mora, and he can’t pinch hit, so being the 4th outfielder is not really going to help him progress.  I have a feeling he may slide through waivers and if so I would send him down.  However if I thought he may be selected by another team I would have to send Montanez down just because of my desire to see Pie reach his promise.   As far as Ryan Freel is concerned I would try to trade him to the National League where he can get more playing time and not be such a distraction.  I don’t think he realizes that utility players batting well under the Mendoza line don’t play often in the American League.  If I couldn’t find a trading partner I would probably see if he would accept assignment because injuries could play a factor down the road and depth is something, as O’s fans we know all too well, is hard to do without.  Outright release would be the next option as far as Freel is concerned.



These are some of the moves I would definitely make if I were the in charge of the birds.  I would also like to address the Matt Wieters situation in more depth later because it is an interesting topic unto itself but obviously Greg Zaun isn’t cutting the mustard.  These are my thoughts what do you think they should do?  Post a comment so we can discuss.

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