Tag Archive | "wild card"

Our Ravens-Texans Pats on the Ass

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Our Ravens-Texans Pats on the Ass

Posted on 15 January 2012 by Glenn Clark

After every Baltimore Ravens victory, Ryan Chell and I take to the airwaves on “The Nasty Purple Postgame Show” on AM1570 WNST.net to offer “Pats on the Ass” to players who have done something to deserve the honor.

We give pats to two defensive players, two offensive players and one “Wild Card”-either another offensive or defensive player, a Special Teams player or a coach. We offer a “Pat on Both Cheeks” to someone who stands out, our version of a “Player of the Game.” Ryan & I select five different players to receive pats.

Here are our “Pats on the Ass” following the Ravens’ 20-13 win over the Houston Texans in the AFC Divisional Playoff Round at M&T Bank Stadium…

Glenn Clark’s Pats…

5. Ricky Williams

4. Ray Lewis

3. Bernard Pollard

2. Anquan Boldin

1. Sam Koch (Pat on Both Cheeks)

Ryan’s Pats on Page 2…

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The Five Plays That Determined The Regular Season

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The Five Plays That Determined The Regular Season

Posted on 10 January 2012 by Glenn Clark

Following every Baltimore Ravens game this season, Ryan Chell and I take to the airwaves Tuesdays on “The Reality Check” on AM1570 WNST.net with a segment known as “The Five Plays That Determined The Game.”

It’s a simple concept. We’ll select five plays from each game that determined the outcome. These five plays will best represent why the Ravens won or lost each game.

This is our final analysis of the previous game before switching gears towards the next game on the schedule.

With no Ravens game during Wild Card weekend of the NFL Playoffs, Ryan and I instead used this week’s segment to go over “The Five Plays That Determined The Regular Season”…

Glenn Clark’s Plays…

5. Vincent Jackson 58 yard pass from Phillip Rivers on 3rd & 8 (2nd quarter) Week 15 at San Diego Chargers

4. Ray Rice 51 yard TD run (4th quarter) Week 17 at Cincinnati Bengals

3. Lardarius Webb intercepts Alex Smith in endzone (2nd quarter) week 12 vs. San Francisco 49ers

2. Drew Coleman intercepts Joe Flacco (4th quarter) Week 7 at Jacksonville Jaguars

1. Torrey Smith 26 yard TD catch from Joe Flacco (4th quarter) Week 9 at Pittsburgh Steelers


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Steelers Loss Fun, But Nothing Changes

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Steelers Loss Fun, But Nothing Changes

Posted on 09 January 2012 by Glenn Clark

(Note from Glenn: With there no longer being enough football happening for me to make 22 observations about the weekend, I have since transitioned from the 15-7-0 to a weekly column reacting to SOMETHING that happened over the weekend. It’s a big step for me because I don’t know if I’ll be able to work half-dressed women into the column.)

As of 12pm Monday, I’ve officially heard every Tim Tebow and/or Ike Taylor related joke. The Taylor jokes mostly came courtesy of our own Drew Forrester and were honestly fantastic.

I know that Tim Tebow’s name sounds like “TiVo.” I know that God may or may not have had something to do with Tebow’s victory and I believe there is nothing else to be seen from a Google image search of “burnt toast.”

It’s all been put on the table, and much of it was quite funny.

As Baltimore Ravens fans, we took great joy in seeing the Pittsburgh Steelers lose to the Denver Broncos Sunday in an AFC Wild Card playoff showdown. We especially took great joy after Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger lead his team to a 2nd half comeback only to see it blow up directly in his face on an overtime TD from Tebow to WR Demaryius Thomas.

It was a lot of fun to see Pittsburgh fans experience the same time of misery that we have experienced ourselves (unfortunately a few times at the hands of the Steelers) in recent years. I loved every moment, even offering a buddy a high-five after things were final in the Mile High City.

But that was about it for me. I offered a silly halftime observation on Facebook (“If the Steelers lose, CBS should do the decent thing and not put Bill Cowher on camera postgame. You could tell he was choking back tears at halftime.”), but I didn’t spend the evening and morning texting everyone I’ve ever known from the Steel City.

Not that I’m judging anyone who did. In fact, I’m totally understanding of anyone who did. Opportunities like this have been unfortunately rare in recent seasons, so taking advantage of this one in particular is more than fair.

Perhaps I didn’t react the same way because I quickly noted that the Ravens’ reality hadn’t changed one bit when Thomas hit the end zone 11 seconds into overtime.

Before the Steelers lost, the Baltimore Ravens were slated to play host to the Houston Texans Sunday at M&T Bank Stadium in an AFC Divisional Round playoff game. After the Steelers lost, the Baltimore Ravens are still slated to play host to the Houston Texans Sunday at M&T Bank Stadium in an AFC Divisional Round playoff game.

Before the Steelers lost, the Ravens were likely to visit the New England Patriots in the AFC Championship Game with a win over the Texans. After the Steelers lost, the Baltimore Ravens are still likely to visit the New England Patriots in the AFC Championship Game with a win over the Texans.

I’ve heard a lot of goofy comments about the Pats somehow not being as good as their record this year. I’ve heard some people say things like “the Pats can’t win, they have one of the worst defenses in the NFL.” It’s a statement of fact (New England statistically had the 31st ranked defense in the NFL this season), but yet those same people never seem to say the same thing about the Green Bay Packers, who had the 32nd (that’s dead last) ranked defense statistically in 2011.

The Number 1 defense in the National Football League in 2011? The Steelers. So there’s that.

I’ve also heard some people point out that the Patriots haven’t won a playoff game since the 2007 season. This is also accurate. Of course, those same people never use the argument that “the Ravens haven’t won a home playoff game since the 2000 season” as a reason why the Ravens won’t win next weekend.

They also ignore the fact that the arrival and emergence of TE’s Rob Gronkowski and Aaron Hernandez make the Patriots a completely different offensive team.

I’ve also heard about how the Patriots’ AFC East campaign wasn’t as “tough” as the Ravens’ trip through the AFC North. Of course both divisions have one playoff team standing at this point.

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Ravens Get Long Odds to Win Super Bowl

Posted on 05 January 2012 by WNST Staff

Courtesy of Bovada, (www.Bovada.lv). Below are wild card team props, exact playoff results for each team, players stats for the four wild card games this weekend, and odds for defensive player of the year. There’s also a quote from Bovada.lv Sportsbook Manager Kevin Bradley on the playoffs.

“A few weeks back the New York Giants were up to 100-1 to win the Super Bowl and we could not write a bet on them, but with their resurgence the last few weeks they are the fancy pick going into the playoffs with the bettors at 20-1 and now we even had to drop them to 18-1 because of the volume we are taking on them. They have gone from one of our biggest winners on Super Bowl futures to our biggest loser, so even though I like the way they have been playing especially on D with Pierre-Paul and think they are peaking at right time I could not be more of a Falcons fan this weekend!”-Kevin Bradley, Bovada.lv Sportsbook Manager

Wild Card Team Props
2012 NFL Playoffs – How many Wild Card teams will win this weekend?        Over      1.5        -180    
Under    1.5        +150           

2012 NFL Playoffs – How many Wild Card teams will win this weekend?        0                      10/1
1                      9/5
2                      7/4
3                      4/1
4                      30/1

2012 NFL Playoffs – Will a Wild Card team win the Super Bowl?       
Yes                  6/1
No                    1/10

2012 NFL Playoffs – Will a Wild Card team play in the Super Bowl?  
Yes                  +220
No                    -280

Exact Playoff Results For Each Team
2012 NFL Playoffs – Green Bay Packers Playoff Progress       
Eliminated in NFC Divisional Round                     13/4
Eliminated in NFC Championship Game               3/1
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       3/1
Super Bowl Champion                                        9/5

2012 NFL Playoffs – New England Patriots Playoff Progress    
Eliminated in AFC Divisional Round                     3/1
Eliminated in AFC Championship Game               2/1
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       2/1
Super Bowl Champion                                        4/1

2012 NFL Playoffs – San Francisco 49ers Playoff Progress      
Eliminated in NFC Divisional Round                     11/10
Eliminated in NFC Championship Game               6/5
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       10/1
Super Bowl Champion                                        11/1

2012 NFL Playoffs – Baltimore Ravens Playoff Progress          
Eliminated in AFC Divisional Round                     2/1
Eliminated in AFC Championship Game               5/4
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       15/4
Super Bowl Champion                                        15/2

2012 NFL Playoffs – New Orleans Saints Playoff Progress       
Eliminated in NFC Wild Card Round                    9/2
Eliminated in NFC Divisional Round                     11/4
Eliminated in NFC Championship Game               7/5
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       8/1
Super Bowl Champion                                        9/2

2012 NFL Playoffs – Houston Texans Playoff Progress            
Eliminated in AFC Wild Card Round                    7/5
Eliminated in AFC Divisional Round                     1/1       
Eliminated in AFC Championship Game               6/1
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       20/1
Super Bowl Champion                                        40/1

2012 NFL Playoffs – New York Giants Playoff Progress            
Eliminated in NFC Wild Card Round                    7/4
Eliminated in NFC Divisional Round                     5/6
Eliminated in NFC Championship Game               9/1
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       16/1
Super Bowl Champion                                        18/1

2012 NFL Playoffs – Denver Broncos Playoff Progress             
Eliminated in AFC Wild Card Round                    1/4
Eliminated in AFC Divisional Round                     9/2
Eliminated in AFC Championship Game               14/1
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       25/1
Super Bowl Champion                                        50/1

2012 NFL Playoffs – Atlanta Falcons Playoff Progress             
Eliminated in NFC Wild Card Round                    5/8
Eliminated in NFC Divisional Round                     11/4
Eliminated in NFC Championship Game               9/2
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       22/1
Super Bowl Champion                                        35/1

2012 NFL Playoffs – Pittsburgh Steelers Playoff Progress        
Eliminated in AFC Wild Card Round                    3/1
Eliminated in AFC Divisional Round                     6/5
Eliminated in AFC Championship Game               3/1
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       13/2
Super Bowl Champion                                        11/1 2012

NFL Playoffs – Detroit Lions Playoff Progress      
Eliminated in NFC Wild Card Round                    1/6
Eliminated in NFC Divisional Round                     5/1
Eliminated in NFC Championship Game               16/1     
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       30/1
Super Bowl Champion                                        40/1

2012 NFL Playoffs – Cincinnati Bengals Playoff Progress        
Eliminated in AFC Wild Card Round                    2/3
Eliminated in AFC Divisional Round                     8/5
Eliminated in AFC Championship Game               10/1
Super Bowl Runner Up                                       30/1
Super Bowl Champion                                        65/1

CIN vs. HOU Player Stats
Total Rushing Yards – Cedric Benson (CIN)    
Over./Under                   62½ 

Total Receiving Yards – A.J. Green (CIN)        
Over/Under                    67½ 

Total Rushing Yards – Arian Foster (HOU)       
Over/Under                    105½ 

Who will record more Passing Yards in the game?    
Andy Dalton (CIN) QB                -9½     
T.J. Yates (HOU) QB                  +9½      

Who will record more TD Passes in the game?          
Andy Dalton (CIN) QB                8/5
T.J. Yates (HOU) QB                  8/5
Tie                                            2/1

Who will record more Interceptions in the game?     
Andy Dalton (CIN) QB                3/2
T.J. Yates (HOU ) QB                 7/4
Tie                                            2/1

DET vs. NO Player Stats
Total Passing Yards – Matthew Stafford (DET)            
Over/Under                    300½ 

Total TD Passes – Matthew Stafford (DET)      
Over                              2½ (+135)
Under                            2½  (-165)

Total Interceptions – Matthew Stafford (DET)  
Over                              ½  (-200)
Under                            ½ (+160)           

Total Completions – Matthew Stafford (DET)   
Over/Under                    26½ 

Total Receiving Yards – Calvin Johnson (DET)           
Over/Under                    100½ 

Will Calvin Johnson (DET) score a TD in the game?   
Yes                  -190    
No                    +155     

Will Ndamukong Suh (DET) get a 15 yard penalty in the game?         Over                              2/1                   

Total Passing Yards – Drew Brees (NO)          
Over/Under                    330½ 

Total TD Passes – Drew Brees (NO)    
Over                              2½  (-165)
Under                            2½ (+135)

Total Interceptions – Drew Brees (NO)            
Over                              ½  (-175)
Under                            ½ (+145)

Total Receiving Yards – Marques Colston (NO)           
Over/Under                    80½ 

Total Receiving Yards – Jimmy Graham (NO)
Over/Under                    80½                                    

Will Jimmy Graham (NO) score a TD in the game?    
Yes                  -150    
No                    +120     

Which team will have more time of possession in the game?           
Detroit Lions                  +120
New Orleans Saints       -150

New Orleans 3rd down conversion % in the game     
Over/Under                    50%      

ATL vs. NYG Player Stats
Total Passing Yards – Matt Ryan (ATL)           
Over/Under                    265½            

Total Rushing Yards – Michael Turner (ATL)   
Over/Under                    75½ 

Total Receiving Yards – Roddy White (ATL)   
Over/Under                    77½                                    

Total Receiving Yards – Julio Jones (ATL)      
Over/Under                    70½ 

Total Passing Yards – Eli Manning (NYG)        
Over/Under                    295½ 

Total Receiving Yards – Hakeem Nicks (NYG)
Over/Under                    80½ 

Total Receiving Yards – Victor Cruz (NYG)     
Over/Under                    85½ 

Longest Reception – Victor Cruz (NYG)           
Over/Under                    45.5 Yards        

DEN vs. PIT Player Stats
Total Passing Yards – Ben Roethlisberger (PIT)          
Over/Under                    265½            

Total Rushing Yards – Isaac Redman (PIT)     
Over/Under                    79½ 

Total Receiving Yards – Mike Wallace (PIT)   
Over/Under                    70½ 

Total Passing Yards – Tim Tebow (DEN)         
Over                              150½ 

Total TD Passes – Tim Tebow (DEN)   
Over                              1 (+120)
Under                            1  (-150)

Total Interceptions – Tim Tebow (DEN)           
Over/Under                    1/2 

Total Rushing Yards – Tim Tebow (DEN)         
Over/Under                    45½ 

Total Rushing Attempts – Tim Tebow (DEN)    
Over/Under                    8½ 

Total Completions – Tim Tebow (DEN)            
Over/Under                    10½ 

Will Tim Tebow (DEN) score a Rushing TD in the game?       
Yes                  +145    
No                    -175     

(PIT vs DEN) Total Offensive Yards allowed by the Steelers    Over/Under                    265½ 

Awards Odds
Who will win NFL Defensive Player of the Year?       
Terrell Suggs (BAL)                    5/6
Jason Pierre-Paul (NYG)             5/4
Jared Allen (MIN)                       5/1
Darrelle Revis (NYJ)                   7/1
DeMarcus Ware (DAL)               7/1
Charles Woodson (GB)               10/1

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

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Top 10 Baseball Distractions

Posted on 03 January 2012 by Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-ShoBox Luis Ramos Jr. vs. Raymundo Beltran (Friday 11pm from Indio, CA live on Showtime), Friday Night Fights-Dyah Davis vs. Alfonso Lopez (Friday 9pm from Key West, FL live on ESPN2); Soccer: MISL Syracuse Silver Knights @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena), Rochester Lancers @ Baltimore Blast (Saturday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena); Women’s College Basketball: Georgia Tech @ Maryland (Friday 8:30pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Maryland @ North Carolina (Sunday 1pm from Chapel Hill, NC live on Comcast SportsNet)

10. Badfish (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live), Legwarmers (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live); Pat McGee Band (Friday 7:30pm Birchmere); Carbon Leaf (Friday 7:30pm Saturday 8pm The Barns at Wolf Trap); Johnny Winter (Saturday 8pm Sunday 7pm Rams Head on Stage)

When I heard Badfish was coming to town, I started wondering what my favorite Sublime song of all time was. I’ll probably be killed for it, but how can it not be this?

The Legwarmers are one of those tremendous 80′s cover bands that if you go see you’re guaranteed to have a good time. They do a ton of songs, but none are as good as this song…

I freaking LOVE Pat McGee Band. Here’s Pat doing Crosby Stills  &Nash (although you may be more familiar with Jimmy Buffett’s take)…

I’ve been talking an awful lot about Carbon Leaf this week. Have you taken the hint?

9. Kevin Nealon (Thursday-Sunday DC Improv)

The good news is that if you get your wires crossed at a Kevin Nealon show, he has some experience getting them uncrossed…

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Let’s Back Our Way Into the 15-7-0

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Let’s Back Our Way Into the 15-7-0

Posted on 02 January 2012 by Glenn Clark

You know how it works. 15 positive football observations, 7 “not so” positive football observations and one “oh no” moment from outside the world of football.

(As a reminder, we don’t do Baltimore Ravens analysis here. We do PLENTY of that elsewhere. This is about the rest of the world of football.)

15 Positive Observations…

1. Matt Flynn may have just earned himself a boatload of money Sunday.

Perhaps Flynn’s success had much more to do with the Green Bay Packers’ scheme & wide receivers and even the Detroit Lions’ less than exceptional defense than the former LSU quarterback himself. But as he enters free agency, Flynn may have just made himself a viable option for teams that won’t enter 2012 with Andrew Luck on their roster.

Of course, 80 of his 480 yards and one of his five touchdowns came on this play to Ryan Grant. I’m pretty sure Ryan Chell could have made this throw…

The Packers can sit back and wait to find out who they’ll play in the divisional round while the Lions get to visit the Superdome next weekend. But I’d say it’s pretty much a toss-up as to who has the more difficult road ahead.

In an unrelated story, the Packers went with Pat Lee as their kick returner for the New Year’s Day game. He did something stupid…

And one more-here’s Packers LB Brad Jones handling a fan who ran out onto Lambeau Field…

2. The New England Patriots scored 49 unanswered points Sunday. I’m not really sure how to follow that up.

Much like the Fins a week earlier, the Buffalo Bills worked Charm City into a lather with hopes of ruining the Pats’ run to the Number 1 seed. Also much like the Fins, the Bills for some reason must have thought New England would quit when they fell behind early. But after spotting the Bills 21 points, the Patriots would go on to score the next 49.

But they can’t possibly win the AFC of course because their defense isn’t good enough.

Right.

You’ll see a lot of funny things in 2012. I’ll go ahead and guess that there won’t be many funnier than this Drayton Florence flop…

Also of note in this game was Bills WR Stevie Johnson, who exposed a “Happy New Year” message on an undershirt after scoring a touchdown…

It’s a shame Tom Brady didn’t have a “Happy 28 Point Beatdown” undershirt to respond with. For a semi-decent receiver, Johnson is about a full-fledged clown.

3. I still have no idea why he’s headed to Arkansas State, but Gus Malzahn made the Chick-Fil-A Bowl a lot of fun to watch.

Before departing his Offensive Coordinator gig at Auburn, Malzahn pulled out a bunch of tricks (including a Statue of Liberty Play of all things) to help beat Virginia in the Georgia Dome…

Elsewhere on New Year’s Eve Levi LaVallee and Robbie Maddison were doing extreme sport jumping of some sort on ESPN that may or may not have been amazing. None of us really know and none of us really bothered to watch. But technically it happened!

How did I spend my NYE you ask? At a place I can’t name because they aren’t a sponsor. They ARE however the home of Sweet Potato Tots and the “Billy Goat’s Gruff”…

It was a 14 out of 10.

4. There’s something about David Akers throwing a touchdown that I really enjoy.

I’d show you video of the play, but it’s not available on YouTube. Instead, those of you who REALLY wanna see it can check it out here and the rest of you can look at this picture of Elsa Hosk. We’ll all meet back at the local saloon.

The San Francisco 49ers clinched the #2 seed in the NFC thanks to their win over the St. Louis Rams. In Baltimore, we just want to say Thank You again. We can’t really say it enough.

The Rams will fire Steve Spagnuolo according to reports. Also according to reports, it will be cold this week.

5. Credit Gary Kubiak for not kicking an extra point Sunday. Now it’s time to go win a Wild Card playoff game.

The Houston Texans didn’t need to beat the Tennessee Titans Sunday for any tangible reason. They didn’t, thanks to Kubiak’s decision to go for 2 late (a decision that backfired after a Joel Dreessen false start and a snap sailed over the head of QB Jake Delhomme-who replaced a banged up T.J. Yates). Let’s take a look at the video board…

Earlier in the game, Bryan Braman made an awesome play…

The Texans host the Cincinnati Bengals in the first round of the postseason. If they win, the Texans visit M&T Bank Stadium in the divisional round. I would think most of us would be pretty happy with that matchup, especially considering the Steelers could be another option.

6. Texas A&M’s Ryan Swope is probably the best receiver you didn’t talk about this season.

Here’s video of the Aggies’ win over Northwestern in the Meineke Car Care Bowl of Texas. You voted it “the video I’m least likely to watch this week” in an informal poll I just took…

Here was Wildcats coach Pat Fitzgerald’s reaction when he found out I was going to show the highlights of the game…

7. For as much as we laughed at them this season, the Philadelphia Eagles look capable of being dangerous in 2012.

Of course, that’s the only if Michael Vick stays healthy…and we all know that’s a significant “if.”

The highlight of the day in Philly happened well before Philly kicked the tar out of the Washington Redskins. It happened when Skins OC Kyle Shanahan tried to pump his team up before the game. It was HILARIOUS…

Kyle Shanahan makes Cam Cameron look popular.

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Our Ravens/Bengals Pats on the Ass

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Our Ravens/Bengals Pats on the Ass

Posted on 01 January 2012 by Glenn Clark

After every Baltimore Ravens victory, Ryan Chell and I take to the airwaves on “The Nasty Purple Postgame Show” on AM1570 WNST.net to offer “Pats on the Ass” to players who have done something to deserve the honor.

We give pats to two defensive players, two offensive players and one “Wild Card”-either another offensive or defensive player, a Special Teams player or a coach. We offer a “Pat on Both Cheeks” to someone who stands out, our version of a “Player of the Game.” Ryan & I select five different players to receive pats.

Here are our “Pats on the Ass” following the Ravens’ 24-16 AFC North clinching victory over the Cincinnati Bengals at Paul Brown Stadium…

Glenn Clark’s Pats…

5. John Harbaugh

4. Jameel McClain

3. Cary Williams

2. Dennis Pitta

1. Ray Rice (Pat on Both Cheeks)

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The 15-7-0 is Italian. It’s Pronounced FRA-GEE-LAY.

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The 15-7-0 is Italian. It’s Pronounced FRA-GEE-LAY.

Posted on 26 December 2011 by Glenn Clark

You know how it works. 15 positive football observations, 7 “not so” positive football observations and one “oh no” moment from outside the world of football.

(As a reminder, we don’t do Baltimore Ravens analysis here. We do PLENTY of that elsewhere. This is about the rest of the world of football.)

15 Positive Observations…

1. Jerome Simpson is HOLY CRAP THAT TOUCHDOWN WAS SO AMAZING I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FINISH THIS SENTENCE.

The ESPY Awards are an annual event put on by ESPN that you’ve never watched from start to finish despite the fact that the “Worldwide Leader in Sports” promotes them for about 6 months.

And since you likely won’t be watching next July, I’ll prevent the suspense. Jerome Simpson’s TD catch for the Cincinnati Bengals against the Arizona Cardinals Saturday wins SOMETHING.

As our own Brian Billick said on FOX, “you don’t get style points in the NFL but that oughtta be worth eight.”

Or more.

Oh, and don’t look now but Cincy is playing great football just before they welcome the Ravens to Paul Brown Stadium next Sunday with the fate of the AFC North hanging in the balance. I don’t want to talk about that right now though. Perhaps never.

2. You just can’t help but be thrilled for Jim Schwartz and the Detroit Lions.

As someone who roots for a baseball team that hasn’t made the playoffs since 1997, I know a thing or two about what it must have felt like for fans in the Music City to watch their team clinch a Wild Card spot in the final moments of their win over the San Diego Chargers Saturday night…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTwsmzTk7Lc

The Bolts were finally eliminated from the playoffs, which you would assume will lead to Norv Turner’s firing. They may or may not have already interviewed Bill Cowher for Turner’s job, and Jon Gruden may or may not be next.

In the meantime, if you’re going to lose at least do it with amazing hair like SD DE Antonio Garay…

3. Kellen Moore and Boise State deserved much better than blowing out an Arizona State team that didn’t bother to try before Christmas in Las Vegas.

It was the final win of a record-setting career for the Broncos quarterback, it was just really unfortunate it happened in this venue instead of in a BCS bowl, as America would have enjoyed watching them play a team that actually gave a s**t…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIXqNJhQPww

The win came as rumors swirled that Penn State was interested in hiring BSU coach Chris Petersen. In a related story, I am interested in being hired by Saturday Night Live.

Petersen obviously is not interested in replacing Joe Paterno in State College. And if you were living as large as this dude is, why would you take ANY job?

4. Cam Newton totally Cam Newton’ed the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Saturday.

In the Carolina Panthers’ win over the Bucs Saturday, Newton broke National Football League records for rookie passing yards (Peyton Manning) and quarterback rushing touchdowns (Steve Grogan). He did it in pretty spectacular fashion…

Things couldn’t be worse for the Bucs. Head coach Raheem Morris apparently “sent home” DE Brian Price after getting a 15 yard personal foul call and the team’s freefall continued on toward what looks more and more likely to be Morris’ ultimate firing.

I kinda feel bad for them. Perhaps I should offer some of my mom (the great Karen Clark)’s holiday stuffed shells…

Kick rocks, ham.

5. I don’t know if David Akers’ record for the most field goals in a single season should be considered “significant”, but he owns it either way.

Akers broke the record with FIVE field goals in the San Francisco 49ers’ win over the Seattle Seahawks, moving the Niners a step closer to clinching the Number 2 seed in the NFC.

The Seahawks’ slim postseason hopes may have disappeared, but Marshawn Lynch HAS THE GREATEST PAIR OF KICKS I HAVE EVER SEEN…

Perhaps Foster the People has a follow up ready?

But as amazing as they are, perhaps Under Armour & Brandon Jennings did one better with their “Rudolph” inspired kicks…

Okay…synthetic fur? I HAVE to get back into the shoe game.

6. You might have survived the insanity to get the Air Jordan XI Concords, but USC fans still got a better Christmas gift than you.

Matt Barkley returning to Southern California is confusing because we know he would have been a potential Top 5 pick in the NFL Draft, but we also know what could be ahead. Heisman Trophy, Pac 12 & BCS Championship hopes and bevies of hot chicks.

I mean, the guy can play Jason Mraz on the guitar. He must be dodging panties every day he walks around Los Angeles. Tough life there…

Of course, he’s also been filmed doing this…

7. I’ll ask for the 8th time. Can everyone please stop telling me about the New England Patriots’ defense?

With the Pats trailing the Miami Dolphins 17-0 at halftime Saturday, Facebook and Twitter were alive in Charm City with hopes of the Ravens still having a shot at the #1 seed in the AFC.

I however looked at my executive producer Ryan Chell and said “when Tom Brady decides to start playing I think they’ll be fine.”

They were. The Pats charged back from the halftime deficit to beat the Fins and are now a win away from clinching the #1 seed in the AFC. Apparently none of that is enough for owner Robert Kraft to get a high five…

Also, this looks like a good holiday film/way to make sure you don’t struggle in the red zone…

Of note for Miami, Reggie Bush remarkably ran for 100+ yards AGAIN in the defeat and we learned this weekend his mom does not want him to get back together with Kim Kardashian. That’s fine, I think Catalina Otalvaro would be a better catch anyway…

(Continued on Page 2)

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Our Ravens-Browns Pats on the Ass

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Our Ravens-Browns Pats on the Ass

Posted on 24 December 2011 by Glenn Clark

After every Baltimore Ravens victory, Ryan Chell and I take to the airwaves on “The Nasty Purple Postgame Show” on AM1570 WNST.net to offer “Pats on the Ass” to players who have done something to deserve the honor.

We give pats to two defensive players, two offensive players and one “Wild Card”-either another offensive or defensive player, a Special Teams player or a coach. We offer a “Pat on Both Cheeks” to someone who stands out, our version of a “Player of the Game.” Ryan & I select five different players to receive pats.

Here are our “Pats on the Ass” following the Ravens’ 20-14 victory over the Cleveland Browns at M&T Bank Stadium…

Glenn Clark’s Pats…

5. Joe Flacco

4. Vonta Leach

3. Ed Dickson

2. Brendon Ayanbadejo

1. Lardarius Webb

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Unlike Everyone Else, The 15-7-0 Remains Undefeated

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Unlike Everyone Else, The 15-7-0 Remains Undefeated

Posted on 19 December 2011 by Glenn Clark

You know how it works. 15 positive football observations, 7 “not so” positive football observations and one “oh no” moment from outside the world of football.

(As a reminder, we don’t do Baltimore Ravens analysis here. We do PLENTY of that elsewhere. This is about the rest of the world of football.)

15 Positive Observations…

1. I just looked away for a second. How many more touchdowns did Drew Brees throw for while I was gone?

It was five during the New Orleans Saints’ win over the Minnesota Vikings and it was clinical. Have a look…

Two of them went to wide receiver Lance Moore, who REALLY wants to be a part of next season’s “Dancing With The Stars”…

I like it. I also like Darren Sproles. In this country we enjoy the success of very small people in football and very large people in football. I did a study about that last night. I asked myself.

By the way, Brees’ performance came a week after doing Sesame Street. Can we now send Joe Flacco there this week?

As far as the Vikes go, it will all be over in about two weeks. That’s all I can say.

2. The Seattle Seahawks have the look of a “team you don’t want to face in January.

The good news (for NFC teams) is that it would take a miracle for them to get in, even after their win over the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field Sunday. They’re two games out of both Wild Card spots with just two games to go.

Bears WR Johnny Knox suffered a horrific injury in the loss that I’ll only post again because I know he’s okay…

Holy hell.

Marshawn Lynch ran for two TD’s. Could’ve used a second TD last week when I was still alive in my fantasy football playoffs, but that’s okay pal. You probably didn’t know.

Next year I’ll send you a letter in advance.

3. I’m sure someone won the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl but I was much too busy staring at the awesome logo to notice.

When the University of Maryland was sentenced accepted to Boise a few years ago they played in something known as the Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl. Other than Da’Rel Scott absolutely going off in a win over Colin Kaepernick and Nevada, it was rather lame.

And while “Famous Idaho Potato Bowl” might sound a bit goofier than “Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl”, only one bowl game includes chives in the logo…

4. Pat Angerer doesn’t just have a great name, he’s also a hell of a football player.

12 tackles and then both an interception and a forced fumble in the 4th quarter for the LB as the Indianapolis Colts FINALLY got in the win column against the Tennessee Titans. But the highlight of the day belonged to RB Donald Brown for THIS TD run…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQzRaONUXLo

Dan Orlovsky is absolutely NOT a good quarterback, but I have no reason to think he isn’t a good guy. I guess for that reason I’m happy he didn’t have go winless again. Of course his success was part of the reason Randy Edsall was able to get to College Park so maybe I should immediately take that back.

5. With Todd Haley gone, I feel as though I can actually be happy for the Kansas City Chiefs with their win over the Green Bay Packers.

Romeo Crennel may have clinched the permanent KC job as Tamba Hali crushed Aaron Rodgers to help the Chiefs hand the Packers their first loss in A YEAR. It was enough to make the Chiefs get all Gatorade bath-ey…

…the Packers looked vulnerable, but they also played with a VERY banged up O-Line. Unlike here in Charm City, perhaps this team could actually lose a loss before making a playoff run.

6. The Maryland Terrapins actually got some good news Friday. I hesitate in writing this because I’m afraid bad news will come before this gets posted.

I’m not even referring to the news that OC Gary Crowton had been “reassigned” within the athletic department. I’m taking about the fact that Kenny Tate and others were given an extra year of eligibility.

Speaking of the Terps, I saw something amazing Saturday. You knew we’d get to the Tim Tebow sketch on Saturday Night Live eventually, but I’m going to go to it here. Mostly because I noticed that former Terp Lance Ball had his name in the background. How freaking awesome is that?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ul2dhNaQgxM

Good for Lance.

7. Todd Bowles will forever be able to describe himself as a winning National Football League head coach.

Which is nice, because I’m not certain Bowles is going to be on any short lists to get gigs in the future. That being said, his Miami Dolphins beat the Buffalo Bills Sunday so he’ll always have that going for him.

Reggie Bush ran for over 200 yards in the Phins’ win, but was penalized for doing what ANYONE ELSE WOULD HAVE DONE after scoring a TD when it was snowing…

200 yards for Reggie Bush. Do we live in some sort of alternate universe???

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