Happy Friday!

It’s a Happy Friday for me because…well…because it’s Friday. Sure, I got kicked out of Yankee Stadium yesterday just for being an Orioles fan…which SHOULD be an “ejectable offense” the more I think about how silly it is to root for this team.

Before we get to “Trembley Watch 2010″, how about we start this thing on a positive? Deadspin posted a soccer goal the other day that makes me think even I could participate in the World Cup…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9p1Eq1AOoTo[/youtube]

I can play goalie AT LEAST as well as that guy.

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP’s Mike Fitzpatrick says A-Rod homered, Rivera closed out solid Sabathia start as Yanks finished sweep of Birds

Well, the few innings that I got to see of it-it looked just like Orioles baseball to me.

It was hard to even be excited when Luke Scott and Adam Jones homered, as we knew it meant a rally wasn’t coming. Kevin Millwood wasn’t up to the level of effectiveness that we’ve come to expect from him this season, but who can blame him?

Plus, the Yankees ARE really good. Alex Rodriguez wasn’t even TRYING to hit a homerun when he did. They have a lineup that is so good that a guy who would quite possibly be the AL MVP right now (Robinson Cano) is hitting 5th! They have a lineup that is so good Mark Teixeira is barely hitting better than Mark Wahlberg thus far, and the team is mostly unconcerned.

It doesn’t make it unfair that the Orioles have to compete against the Yankees in the AL East. It makes it unfair that the Orioles don’t TRY to compete against the Yankees in the AL East.

2. The AP/WNST.net offer numerical evidence of sweep

Three hits again yesterday. Or in other words, fewer hits than Third Eye Blind had…ON THEIR FIRST ALBUM.

(Edit from GMC: Of 3eb’s hits, my personal favorite was “How’s It Gonna Be”…)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuAGVr-O-3E[/youtube]

And by the way, don’t take a look at the MLB standings at any point (unless for some strange reason you absolutely have to). The only thing you’ll see is that the Birds are currently 15.5 games back…of FOURTH PLACE.

Can’t we just start Training Camp tomorrow?

3. ESPN.com says Trembley to be fired, Juan Samuel to take over as manager

So…get excited!

In the end, there will be no crying over the end of Dave Trembley’s tenure, as no one REALLY thinks Dave Trembley is a good manager. That being said, he was never given a respectable group of players capable of actually winning…anything.

No sadness today for Dave Trembley, who might well be a nice guy (as Roch Kubatko said), but never really showed himself to be capable of managing.

As far as Juan Samuel is concerned…umm…okay? I know this isn’t a permanent move, but it isn’t inspiring long term OR short term. The Orioles will presumably start looking for a manager in the Bob Melvin/Buck Showalter/Tom Kelly/etc. crowd, although there is an argument that they should let Samuel finish the season and then actually conduct a FULL search in the offseason.

For the record, I’d sign off on Bob Melvin being hired. Having covered him in Phoenix when he managed the Arizona Diamondbacks, I’ve seen him take a team to the NLCS whose best players were Chris Young and Eric Byrnes. That being said, no one should have any reason to believe the team will get any THIS season under any manager. They’re not a good team, and some of the players who HAVE performed may well be shipped elsewhere.

Hopefully there will be both a respectable manager in the dugout and a respectable team on the field come Opening Day 2011. In the meantime, this remains hopeless no matter who’s managing.

4. WNST.net’s Drew Forrester says if Trembley fired, Andy MacPhail replaces him on hot seat

And I had him on my hot seat even before now.

The blood is on MacPhail’s hands. He’s in charge, and he didn’t give the manager a REAL chance to win-despite the fact that the manager really wasn’t any good.

MacPhail’s “plan” looks almost laughable at this point, with only the young pitchers (and Nick Markakis) looking like actual major league players right now. This is a CRUCIAL offseason for MacPhail, as the team HAS to be better next season for there to be any reason for any of us to believe that MacPhail actually does know what he’s doing in Baltimore.

Yes, I’m talking about the offseason 54 games into this season. What else would I do?

It’s like a broken damn record, but GOD does it ever suck to be an Orioles fan right now.

5. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says night on farm headlined by Tides’ Brandon Erbe falling to 0-9

And before we move on from the Orioles…

-Congratulations to “Apologist of the Morning” Peter DiLutis, who we have decided that we will also “fire” from AOTM consideration today. Peter has toed the line of “Apologist” and “Idiot” for the better part of the season, and today’s thoughts that the Trembley firing would “spark fan interest” went down the “idiotic” role. Drew Forrester “The Great Arbitrator” selected him over Roch Kubatko AND Dave Trembley, and I will apologize to both of them for being mentioned in the same sentence as the kid.

-The Orioles actually DO play again tonight, but only because they have to. They’ll open a weekend set with the Boston Red Sox; with first pitch on MASN from Oriole Park at Camden Yards at 7:05pm. Chris Tillman makes the start for the Birds, Clay Buchholz opposes him for the Sox. I’ll assume a sweep-but I would probably assume a sweep against just about anyone.

6. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Ravens sign kicker Shayne Graham, give him $1.5 million base salary

Finally.

As I said yesterday via Twitter (follow us @WNST), it is safe to call Graham the favorite in his competition against Billy Cundiff this summer in Training Camp; but he’ll have to show that he’s moved past the issues that lead him to miss two big kicks in the Cincinnati Bengals’ Wild Card loss to the New York Jets. If he struggles, Cundiff will still have a chance to leave Westminster with NFL employment.

Graham has the chance to make up to $2.5 million this season via incentives. Hopefully those incentives include NOT MISSING KICKS.

And with all of this said, there’s still another part of the equation here. Matt Katula HAS to have a better season snapping the ball. If he struggles again, this could look very similar to the Steve Hauschka – Graham Gano competition from a year ago.

7. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Ryan Mink says John Harbaugh believes ‘pass coverage’ Sergio Kindle’s “Achilles’ heel”

Which is sorta why my expectations (FOR THIS SEASON) are higher for Terrence Cody than they are for Sergio Kindle. He has to learn a new position (as he was mostly a pass rusher at Texas) that is particularly complicated. I think Sergio Kindle is going to be a very impressive player, I just don’t know that it’s going to be at the Rookie of the Year caliber level that he is hoping to perform at this season.

By the way, if you missed Sergio Kindle (and Terrence Cody and Ed Dickson and Arthur Jones) at our Miller Lite Purple Rookies Show Wednesday night at Casey’s in Towson; you can hear from ALL of them in the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault right here at WNST.net.

8. WNST.net’s Ryan Chell says Texas State QB Brad George tried out Thursday at 1 Winning Drive during Ravens Rookie Camp

Brad George’s chances of making the team?

Let’s just say I have a better shot at getting to know Karina Flores (Thanks Busted Coverage!)…

9. Inside Lacrosse’s John Jiloty says Gary Gait not a candidate to replace Dave Cottle as Maryland lacrosse coach

Not that he ever really WAS a candidate this time around. Gait has done a nice job coaching the women at Syracuse, but his coaching experience just really doesn’t fit the bill of what’s necessary for the Terps as they look to replace Dave Cottle.

Also cross Rick Sowell off the list, as the Stony Brook coach received a contract extension to stay put there.

The list is still LONG. Kevin Corrigan, Mike Pressler, Jeff Tambroni and Don Zimmerman are still probably the most likely candidates…probably. At least maybe.

You know…who knows???

10. UMTerps.com says Terrapins senior Caitlyn McFadden claimed Women’s Tewaaraton award

And Duke’s Ned Crotty won the award on the men’s side. Crotty was clearly the best player in the game this year, I just couldn’t have voted for him because I am particularly opposed to the 5th year Blue Devils.

That being said, both are very deserving honors for the best players in college lacrosse.

And we’re very deserving of looking at pictures of Rose Byrne from GQ, as posted by Guyism…

11. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Maryland-Morgan State will kickoff at 6pm on ESPN3.com, Maryland-West Virginia will kickoff at 12pm on ESPNU

Effing ESPN3.

I understand why ESPN3 if good for the ACC and company, but the league needs to work out a way that games shown on ESPN3 can also be shown over the air in local markets. For example, if the game is on ESPN3 (the old ESPN360)-there should be an option for Comcast SportsNet to carry the ESPN broadcast.

ESPNU is good for no one…unless of course you have ESPNU. I do not. And I’m the most important person here.

12. WNST.net’s G.Q. picks Fly Down to win tomorrow’s Belmont Stakes

For a differing opinion, Rick from Reisterstown selected the favorite (Ice Box) to win when he called the race this morning on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST. I’ll pick Make Music For Me, mostly because he has the best name in the race.

If you missed Rick this morning, you can hear it in the Audio Vault. It will be available later via WNSTv. Other guests from this morning you can hear in the Audio Vault include Baseball America’s Jim Callis, NBC Sports’ Craig Calcaterra (HardBallTalk) and NESN Sox pre-game host Tom Caron.

I prefer Rick myself.

And finally, I leave you with this.

“Get Him To The Greek” opens today. I have fairly high hopes…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5kbLFrbDeic[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Happy Wednesday!

It’s a Happy Wednesday for me because the new Jack Johnson disc “To The Sea” came out yesterday. It’s pretty good. Good enough that I’ll make “The Upsetter” this week’s “Greatest Song of All Time This Week”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7n7A-e7Pjc[/youtube]

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP’s Howie Rumberg says Tejada made costly error as Orioles fell to Yankees in New York

Our girl Jen Royle described it as one of the most “heartbreaking” losses of the season. The rest of us barely even noticed it happened. In fact, as the game was coming to a close; I was getting in my car to go check out Shrek (which was okay) over at The Avenue in White Marsh. This wasn’t heartbreaking, this was Orioles Baseball 2010.

Javier Vasquez was the most likely of the 3 pitchers going for the Yanks this week for the Orioles to have a chance against. So…scratch that.

As far as the Tejada play is concerned, Tejada should have been able to get the throw there, and Wigginton should have been able to make the scoop. Of course, Tejada isn’t really a good MLB 3rd baseman, and Wigginton isn’t really a good MLB 1st baseman, so it’s hard for me to be made about any of it.

Or anything else related to this awful team.

2. The AP/WNST.net offer numerical evidence of loss

Well, Brian Matusz was really good. 6 2/3 innings, 3 runs (just 1 earned-and the other two given up after he left), 6 hits, 5 k’s, 3 BB.

The Orioles lost the game on an Alex Rodriguez groundout.

UGH.

It’s really tough to talk about it. In fact, I’m taking a break for a second. Here’s a picture of Liz Parada from What Would Tyler Durden Do. We’ll reconvene shortly.

3. WNST.net’s Drew Forrester says O’s mustered just 5 hits against Javier Vasquez in loss

Or, as Drew explained this morning-they had exactly as many hits as Alanis Morissette did on “Jagged Little Pill.”

Corey Patterson hit a home run, so at least we have that going for us.

Adam Jones and Julio Lugo each finished the game with 4 LOB. Not as if it was a game chocked full of missed opportunities, but the 7th inning does come to mind.

Nope, talking about the game again was a mistake. I should have known better. I’m moving on.

4. Fanhouse’s Ed Price describes Birds as ‘failure’

Which means he knows enough to make him qualified to talk about the team.

The Orioles ARE a failure.

Peter Schmuck wrote something this morning about the Orioles needing to do the right thing and let Dave Trembley go. We discussed it on the morning show, and I will admit (although I’m going to break out in hives doing it), that I might sign off on Andy MacPhail NOT firing Dave Trembley during the season.

If the Orioles DO fire Trembley (and we all know they should), they’re left with two options:

1-Hire someone in house (like Juan Samuel or Brad Komminsk) for the rest of the season on an interim basis. The risk associated with a move like this is that the team might somehow actually WIN a few games with a new manager. It’s unlikely, but it’s (I guess) possible. If they could find a way to win a few games, they may be forced to keep a guy like Samuel or Komminsk around, especially if they appear to have developed chemistry with guys like Nick Markakis, Matt Wieters, Adam Jones and Brian Matusz who actually are part of “The Plan.”

2-The team could go out and hire a real manager like Bob Melvin or Tom Kelly; but they’d be handing them a terrible team. The reality is that the team is still likely to trade away a few guys who have been productive this season (Luke Scott, Kevin Millwood, Ty Wigginton, Miguel Tejada are all possibilities); and they’ll have little chance to win games. Bringing a new manager into a losing culture doesn’t bode well for creating a “new atmosphere” moving forward.

The only person who could manage the team the rest of the season and wins and losses would be irrelevant would be Dave Trembley.

The issue is, I can never sign off on doing something that involves winning being irrelevant.

Every day the Orioles allow Dave Trembley to manage the team, they’re saying winning is irrelevant-as the Orioles are NOT winning.

Much like the team, this is a no win situation. The team has no one to blame but themselves, as they came into the season with no chance of winning-and this is what they deserve for that.

As far as fixing it, they might not have much of a choice but to let Trembley finish the season.

It’s not like any of us will be watching the rest of the way anyway.

5. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Caleb Joseph, Steve Johnson had big nights on farm

And before we move on from this wretched ballclub, a few more things:

-The Orioles are back in action tonight-apparently their petition to cancel the rest of the games was denied by Bud Selig. Brad Bergesen goes to the hill against Phil Hughes, first pitch at Yankee Stadium on MASN is at 7:05pm.

-We still have a few spots left on our Miller Lite Orange Bus Trip to The Bronx tomorrow; as we’ll watch Kevin Millwood hopefully pick up his first win since coming to Baltimore against CC Sabathia. Seeing as how there’s going to be Miller Lite and Chick-Fil-A Nottingham Square is catering breakfast, I’d be fine if we were going to see an AHL game. Some of our roster might as well be in the AHL anyway.

6. WNST.net’s Glenn Clark says Ravens officially brought back George Kokinis

This has been one of the stranger offseason storylines I can remember. It was known that Kokinis was coming back months ago-but for some reason the team wouldn’t talk about it. In fact, when I asked John Harbaugh about it at the NFL Scouting Combine in Indianapolis, he not only blew the question off, he appeared to be about ready to strange me after that.

There is a rumor that the team had to remain quiet about it because of a pending lawsuit Kokinis has with the Cleveland Browns. There’s also a rumor that the team remained quiet about it as they were trying to define his role alongside Ozzie Newsome and Eric DeCosta.

Who knows what the reason really is, but it seems like bringing back a respected personnel man to the organization can’t possibly be a bad thing for anyone involved.

7. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Ravens reportedly set to sign K Shayne Graham to compete with Billy Cundiff

It’s about time.

I’m not sure why it’s taken this long (and it still isn’t done by the way) for the team to make this happen, but this is a welcome addition to the team. Hopefully Graham and Cundiff will push each otehr not only during the remaining OTA’s, but also when they get to Westminster for Training Camp.

Of course, this isn’t exactly like picking between Kelly Brook and Megan Fox in a beauty contest. There’s a reason the Cincinnati Bengals parted ways with Shayne Graham after last season (his two misses in the Wild Card game against the New York Jets were certainly a big part of that), and Billy Cundiff was adequate but not exceptional for the Ravens.

Also, the Ravens had hoped that Steve Hauschka and Graham Gano would push each other at McDaniel College last summer, but it didn’t exactly translate to much success for either guy. Simply having a competition doesn’t mean the competitors are primed to succeed.

For the record, after looking at the pictures of Kelly Brook from FHM United Kingdom that Guyism posted yesterday, there’s half a chance I’d pick her OVER Megan Fox…

8. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Mike Duffy says eyes will be on undrafted free agents like Mike McLaughlin, Prince Miller during this week’s Rookie Camp

A couple of reminders before we move on from the Ravens:

-We will be out at 1 Winning Drive today for Rookie Camp, and will have updates during the day via Twitter (@WNST). You’ll be able to hear from John Harbaugh and players this afternoon with Rex Snider and Ray Bachman on AM1570.

-TONIGHT is our annual Purple Rookies Show at Casey’s in Towson. This is your chance to hear from and meet the NEWEST Baltimore Ravens, including Sergio Kindle and Terrence Cody. It’s going to be a lot of fun, make sure you come out and meet the new guys! If for some reason you miss the show tonight, it will air tomorrow morning at 9am after Nestor Aparicio fills in for Drew Forrester and I on “The Morning Reaction.”

9. Washington Post’s Steve Yanda says former Maryland guard Eric Hayes, former Morgan State guard Reggie Holmes worked out with Wizards

Neither of these guys is going to be selected in the NBA Draft, but I expect both of them to get a shot on a NBA Summer League roster in Las Vegas this year; where they’ll have a chance to crack a roster. Both have valuable skills, but are incomplete players. They have something to offer, but it will have to be a right fit type of situation.

Holmes was SUPPOSED to join us this morning on “The Morning Reaction”, but missed it due to another workout. We’ll get him later in the week. In the meantime, make sure you head over to the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault today and check out Drew’s chats with Justin Gimelstob (the former tennis player and now Tennis Channel analyst who checked in with a live update from the French Open in Paris), Sports Illustrated’s Grant Wahl (who previewed the World Cup before heading over to South Africa), and Bowie Baysox INF Brandon Waring.

10. The Sun’s Kevin Van Valkenburg says Duke coach John Danowski, Notre Dame coach Kevin Corrigan support Baltimore being at least semi-permanent home for lacrosse Final Four

And you’re certainly not going to get a dissenting opinion from me.

Nor are you going to get a dissenting opinion regarding whether or not Francoise Boufhal is attractive (Thanks Barstool Sports!)…

And finally, I leave you with this.

Since we’re going to be in The Big Apple tomorrow, I’m thinking about picking up an Elvis sandwich. Peanut butter, bananas, honey, bacon, etc? Yes please. Apparently they have some in the Village…

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Happy Thursday!

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because 1-The Phoenix Suns won last night; putting the whole “Los Suns” thing to rest; and 2-After 2 weeks of missing it, I finally get to update “The Greatest Song of All Time This Week.”

The good news here is that had I known this song existed before I left for Louisville, “The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet” may have broken up with me out of frustration because I insisted on keeping the song on repeat on my iPod…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_f8EiNTuh8[/youtube]

I miss Nappy Roots so much. This isn’t TECHNICALLY Nappy Roots (it’s actually rapper KD with two members of Nappy Roots), but you get the point. You DO get the point, don’t you?

“My Old Kentucky Home” gave me goosebumps when I heard it at the Kentucky Derby. “My Kentucky Home” makes me bop my head shake my ass. They’re similar feelings really.

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP’s Rick Freeman says Yankees roughed up David Hernandez early en route to sweeping Orioles

Of course, don’t tell that to our buddy Demsey’s Army; or @DempseysArmy via Twitter. He said…

“David Hernandez may never be very good but he certainly has balls. Unflappable.”

Unflappable, unsuccessful…they’re very similar thought processes.

Of course, DA was the easy choice this morning from “The Great Arbitrator” Drew Forrester for “Apologist of the Morning” on AM1570 WNST’s “The Morning Reaction.”

Hernandez was brutal yesterday, but the O’s were at least able to make it interesting once Andy Pettitte was forced to leave the game. The Yanks might have a real issue on their hands dealing with their older players. Of course, I’d gladly take that issue myself if I could have the players on their team.

7-21. There we go.

2. WNST.net/The AP offer numerical evidence of sweep

Since I wasn’t in Baltimore this weekend, I will be forced to admit that I’m starting to wonder if the sweep of the Red Sox really ever did happen.

If I had seen it with my own eyes, it would be easier to believe, but I will admit that I’m starting to wonder if it was nothing more than a cruel civic prank that every last one of you was in on.

Credit the Orioles’ bullpen for 4.1 innings of relief without giving up an earned run. The bullpen HAS pitched well of late, although there still isn’t a closer and I’m not sure the team even still remembers what the defined roles were for each pitcher back when the season started.

By the way, how funny was it to see Rick Kranitz get tossed early yesterday? It gave me the feeling of “What the hell am I going to do here anyway?”

Funny stuff.

3. WNST.net’s Jay Trucker says Uehara set to return, Alberto Castillo to be sent down

Jay makes a lot of very good points about Uehara, who represents a lot of the frustration those of us who aren’t in the “Andy MacPhail can do no wrong” camp.

The Orioles gave Uehara 10 million dollars. 10 million dollars. Not a single other team in Major League Baseball thought he was a legitimate starter, and the Orioles gave him 10 million dollars.

Maybe Koji Uehara CAN help the bullpen, but it’s frustrating to even think about him being on the roster. Some people think he should be the closer, but I’m not sure it’s in his makeup.

You know who DOES have it in their makeup? Simone Starr! (Thanks Guyism!)

4. Fanhouse’s Tom Fornelli says Andy MacPhail threatened to send Birds’ struggling bats down to Norfolk

Kudos to Orioles fans for their almost unanimous reaction to the news. I pulled some highlights from the Baltimore Sun’s comment section after Jeff Zrebiec first posted the story…

-“I find this kind of funny from the man who assembled this mess. Threats don’t motivate players; better talent does, and MacPhail has failed miserably with his “grow the arms and buy the bats” philosophy.”
-“I didn’t notice anywhere in the article where Andy took personal responsibility for selecting the players on the team. Is it too much to ask that he say he is personally responsible for the failures on the team instead of just pointing the finger?”
-“He should have said, “Sometimes you have to take into account I have complied a team that looks like an expansion roster.”"
-“How about he send himself to Norfolk for assembling this crap-tastic team. Lets see, we needed a SS, Clean-up hitter, and top of the rotation starter when he first got here….and we still need a SS, clean up hitter, and top of the rotation starter years later.”
-“So, is MacPhail basically saying, “I crapped the bed this offseason?”"

I could go on, but I think you get the point.

If MacPhail is angry about how the lineup has performed, maybe he should ask himself why the lineup didn’t have any real power hitters/run producers.

You know, amongst the other things he should ask himself.

5. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Steve Johnson, Caleb Joseph had big night on farm for O’s

And before we move on from the Orioles, a reminder that the Birds now head to Minnesota for their first ever series against the Twins at Target Field. Game 1 is tonight at 8:10pm, and can be seen on MASN2. Brad Bergesen (gulp) is scheduled to face Carl Pavano, and we’ll be chatting about it in our “Orange Crush” at WNST.net, which I believe will be hosted by the great Bob Haynie.

I’d be more excited about the game tonight, but Iron Man 2 comes out at midnight. Priorities, people.

6. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Ed Reed had offseason hip surgery

As I wrote yesterday, don’t get worked up about this. Ed Reed had an injured hip/groin that forced him to miss four games. Like other players who miss time due to injuries, he decided to have offseason surgery.

Really a “nothing to see here” type of story.

Ed has told anyone that will listen this offseason that he’ll be back on the field this season as long as he’s healthy enough to be out there. John Harbaugh, Ozzie Newsome, etc. are all working under the assumption that Reed will return.

Nothing about that changed with this “news.”

7. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Mike Duffy says Ravens installing new “Momentum 51″ field at M&T Bank Stadium

Apparently the field will be in place for the NCAA lacrosse Final Four on Memorial Day weekend.

So…that’s the extent of what I can tell you about that.

I mean, really-it’s a new field. I’d love to be excited about it and give you more information about it, but it’s a field.

So…instead let’s take a look at a picture of Julianne Hough, which was posted yesterday at BarStool Sports. It’s MUCH more interesting…

8. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Matt Hughes scored 3 goals for Towson as Tigers beat UMass in CAA Tournament semifinal

I wandered over to Unitas Stadium just in time for the 3rd quarter last night. By the time the 3rd quarter was over, I was ready to begin my Cinco de Mayo festivities.

It was an impressive performance in the 2nd half last night for Tony Seaman’s club. Seaman will join Drew Forrester tomorrow morning at 8:05 to preview Saturday’s CAA Championship Game, where Towson will host Delaware.

And in no world do I believe that a HEN is capable of beating a TIGER.

9. UMBCRetrievers.com says lacrosse season over after 11-7 loss to Albany in America East Tournament semifinal

Tough season for Don Zimmerman’s club.

We can lament, or we can look at these pictures of Cassie Keller, who is apparently starring in some rip-off video called “Miss Gruber” that Playboy put together. I support everything about it, and thank Busted Coverage for the discovery…

Don’t bother asking me which one is Cassie. I don’t know, and it doesn’t matter.

10. Daily Racing Form’s Jay Privman says Nick Zito horse Ice Box will skip Preakness, begin preparation for Belmont

I really think there was an issue with Ice Box’s knees last week. He had them wrapped on Friday morning, and Zito didn’t appear happy. He ran particularly well, especially considering the bad trip he got, having run into traffic twice coming down the stretch.

Given that the Preakness is a BIT shorter, I don’t know that Ice Box was necessarily going to be a favorite at Pimlico-but he would certainly be amongst the favorites.

And to appease Chris Bonetti, here’s a picture of “Ice Box” from the movie Little Giants now all grown up…

And if you missed Kentucky Derby-winning trainer of Super Saver Todd Pletcher on with Drew Forrester this morning, check it out in the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault here at WNST.net.

And finally, I leave you with this.

Everyone in the world has posted the Bobby Cox/Bobby Cocks cake picture, but it’s STILL funny. Well played United States Senate.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Happy Wednesday!

It’s a Happy Wednesday for me because last night was the annual “Undie Run” at Arizona State University. As someone who lived right down the street from ASU for two years, I can’t even BEGIN to explain what a good idea this is…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRtPVxoB4AA[/youtube]

The failure to copy this idea at Towson University is absolutely UNTHINKABLE. The University of Maryland is putting together their first ever Undie Run in 6 days, and they’ll have a lot to live up to…

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP says AJ Burnett shut down Orioles as Yankees won 4-1

AJ Burnett is a hell of a pitcher. He might not be Roy Halladay, but he’s pretty damn good.

That being said-it is UNACCEPTABLE to have runners on 2nd & 3rd base with no outs and then see Adam Jones, Nick Markakis and Matt Wieters strike out. It’s just unacceptable. There’s no other way to put it.

What Gary Thorne, Mike Flanagan and Ben McDonald said during the MASN broadcast was telling however. With runners and 2nd and 3rd with none out, the pressure in that situation was somehow on the Orioles hitters and NOT on Burnett.

How could it have EVER come to this?

ALL of the pressure was on the Orioles hitters. Instead of going to the plate and thinking “cool, another spot to drive in some more runs”, Orioles hitters were thinking something along the lines of “oh dear God I better get a hit here because I have no idea if we’ll ever get a chance like this again!”

How telling was it that in the bottom of the inning; after Jones misplayed Francisco Cervelli’s single into a triple; Dave Trembley decided to pull the infield in.

In the THIRD inning.

Watching the Orioles is slightly less fun than going to the dentist at this point.

2. The AP/WNST.net offer numerical evidence of loss

Maybe I’m the one responsible for this. I went away to hang out at the Kentucky Derby over the weekend, and the Orioles swept the Red Sox in 3 games I couldn’t even watch on TV. I’ve been able to actually SEE the O’s win exactly FOUR games this season!

FOUR!

The Orioles had no RBI at all last night, and haven’t driven a runner in from scoring position YET through two games at Yankee Stadium.

Brian Matusz was by no means bad last night, although he did walk in a run.

It’s just like a continuous nightmare.

I know what will brighten our spirits….a picture of Serinda Swan from BarstoolSports.com…

…yep, I feel better already.

3. WNST.net’s Glenn Clark uncomfortably says Birds ‘could learn from’ Washington Nationals

And believe it or not, it ISN’T just by putting a Ben’s Chili Bowl inside the stadium…

I seriously credit Nats President Stan Kasten for saying the right thing when asked about low attendance. When you have a bad product (like the Nationals HAVE had; and the Orioles certainly DO have), it’s YOUR fault. YOU need to fix it.

And if Dave Trembley just said the wrong thing out of frustration when asked about attendance, Andy MacPhail just just make a statement to “correct” him.

Or the team can keep allowing the fans to be blamed for the bad product. That’s a good idea too.

4. The AP says former Tigers, O’s broadcaster Ernie Harwell dead at 92

While Ernie Harwell has very LITTLE to do with Baltimore, it is certainly worth discussing this. Harwell represented what fans used to LOVE about baseball-especially in towns like Baltimore. He will be SORELY missed.

Just try watching this without tearing up. Ernie Harwell was a SPECIAL man…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paWJl3qpUIM[/youtube]

5. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Robert Andino, Josh Bell, Zach Britton, Billy Rowell all had big nights on farm

And before we move on from the Orioles, a few things…

-If you missed Zach Britton on with Drew Forrester this morning on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST; you can check it out in the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault at WNST.net.

-Congratulations to today’s “Apologist of the Morning”, Steve Melewski from MASN. He wrote a great piece talking about how Luke Scott had a better slugging percentage than Brian Roberts last year-so we should defend Scott’s poor play this season.

That’s right. Luke Scott’s slugging percentage was better than the team’s leadoff hitter last year. That makes him a good player who deserves to keep his spot in the lineup.

Christ.

-The O’s and Yanks are back at it this afternoon in The Bronx; with David Hernandez facing licensed Orioles killer Andy Pettitte. First pitch is at 1:05pm. Follow us on Twitter (@WNST) during the game for humorous updates.

6.Carroll County Times’ Aaron Wilson says Elizabeth City State WR Reggie Smith to try out with Ravens this weekend

Cool!

But…uh…what the hell is Elizabeth City State?

I mean, if it was Elizabeth BERKLEY City State I might be a bit more interested…

(Edit from GMC: I love NO ONE more than I love Jessie Spano. Okay, maybe Topanga. But that’s it.)

For the record, Smith is a 5’11″ receiver who put up good numbers in college. If he shows up in Owings Mills again after this weekend, I’d be STUNNED.

7. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Mike Duffy says Edgar Jones switching back to OLB

Maybe they should just throw him in the kicking competition too while they’re at it???

The Ravens have a TON of depth at linebacker. Terrell Suggs is backed up by Paul Kruger; Ray Lewis and Dannell Ellerbe are backed up by Tavares Gooden, Antwan Barnes, Jameel McClain, Jason Phillips, Prescott Burgess and Brendon Ayanbadejo; and Jarret Johnson is backed up by Sergio Kindle. Now add Edgar Jones to that mix.

I don’t think they’ll all be in East Rutherford the night the Ravens play the Jets.

If you missed Ravens center Matt Birk or QB Coach Jim Zorn with Drew this morning, they’re both up in the Audio Vault.

8. The Sun’s Katherine Dunn says Notre Dame Prep lacrosse beat St. Stephen’s and St. Agnes in honor of former teammate Yeardley Love

I haven’t had a chance to say much about the tragic situation at Virginia, and I probably won’t say much about it here, as we are MUCH too light-hearted for poignancy. The Cavaliers are probably doing the right thing by playing in the NCAA Tournament, but you can’t imagine it won’t have an impact.

“The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet” is a NDP grad, and I know the community there has been TERRIBLY shook by the news. Prayers for all of them and blessings to the Love family.

9. UMBCRetrievers.com previews tonight’s America East Tournament semifinal against Albany at UMBC Stadium

For as bad a start as Don Zimmerman’s Retrievers got off to this season, they have a realistic chance of making the NCAA Tournament-although they would likely have to play the conference championship game at Stony Brook this weekend.

They certainly have a better chance of making the NCAA Tournament than I do of getting to know Tulisa Contostavlos on a more personal level (Thanks Guyism!)…

10. TowsonTigers.com previews tonight’s CAA Tournament semifinal against UMass at Unitas Stadium

The Tigers also HAVE to win their conference tournament to make the NCAA Tournament, although it isn’t quite as steep a climb. They’ll be able to host the Championship game Saturday should they win tonight.

In a completely unrelated story, former Oregon cheerleader Amanda Pflugard is apparently a model now. I thought this was important enough to pass along (Thanks Busted Coverage!)…

11. Daily Racing Form’s Marty McGee says Bob Baffert working with Lookin At Lucky in Louisville before making decision on Preakness

Rumor has it that when asked about what he’ll do differently this time after failing to win at Churchill Downs; I believe he may have said…”Well I’m sure as hell not going to talk to that clown Glenn Clark before the race this time.”

And finally, I leave you with this…

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xEjOIVkvAIo[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

As Drew Forrester and I pointed out today on “The Morning Reaction” on AM1570 WNST, this one is a major championship. A real grand slam event. It’s akin to winning The Masters, or Wimbledon, or the U.S. Open.

The winner of this award now joins such legendary 1 time major champions as…

Fred Couples

Pat Cash

Davis Love III

Michael Chang

David Duval

And of course, the great Andy Roddick…

The nominees for “Apologist of the Months” included such former “Apologist of the Morning” winners and nominees as…

-Chris Stoner (who believes Felix Pie should be bronzed outside Camden Yards)
-Peter “The Professor” DiLutis (who knows more about baseball than myself, Drew, Jon Miller, Pat Gillick, George Steinbrenner and Tony Gwynn combined)
-Daniel Moroz aka @CamdenCrazies (who actually developed a math formula that has the Orioles in 1st place in the AL East currently)
-David Stevenson (who gets chills thinking about eerily similar Zach Britton is to Andy Pettitte)
-Jen Royle (who is also nominated for Yankees apologist of the month)
-Steve Melewski (who less than three weeks into the season was already beating the “real fans” drum)
-Andy MacPhail (who said competition with the Yanks and Red Sox was “insurmountable”)
-Dave Trembley (who went down the “This is your team, this is your city” route last week)

BUT…

None of them were ready to claim a major championship. Instead, they are forced to settle for runner-up status. Not everyone can win major championships. Mal Washington made the final at Wimbledon, but fell to Richard Krajicek. Sergio Garcia has finished in the Top 5 at the Masters, U.S. Open, British Open AND PGA Championship but still hasn’t broken through.

The first “Apologist of the Month” for 2010 is…

Neal S. from “The Loss Column”

I don’t know Neal, but I know he has a way with words. Here he waxes existentially about how being an Orioles fan is like being in the movie “Road House”…
“Much like Dalton in Road House, we would reach a point where our participation in violence and struggle would be understood but never confused — internally or externally — with an endorsement of the same.

Do you enjoy watching the Orioles lose?
Watching the Orioles lose don’t hurt.

More broadly, the notion is this: we must reach that place where we focus not on outcomes (wins, losses) but instead on moments. Whatever is happening before us, that is the game. We must approach the Orioles with neither expectations nor judgment. Ideally, we arrive at a point where there is no “last night’s game” or “next season” — only what there is.”

It’s such beautiful apology that I don’t know where to start. No need to focus on outcomes, let’s just soak it in. Breathe deep. Orioles baseball. Let’s go O’s! Take it all in. It might be a loss, but it happened! That’s what matters!

The rest of the Apologist-sphere has a lot to live up to.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Happy Thursday!

It’s a Happy Thursday for me because a Washington sports team suffered an unthinkably bad loss last night! Woo hoo!!!

(Edit from GMC: I’ve tried to hold back my disdain for the Washington Capitals for a few weeks. I can’t do it anymore. Screw them, and screw all of the people in DC who root for them. They’re the same people who root for the Redskins. I HATE the Redskins. And those insufferable fans down there, who TRULY believe they are real, authentic sports fans and deserve something from their pathetic, worthless sports franchises.)

There’s nothing that pleases me more than knowing that this old woman is probably crying again this morning…

She might want to keep those Kleenex nearby when Donovan McNabb gets hurt in Week 3. (Edit from GMC: I just knocked on wood out of fear that Joe Flacco might get hurt. PLEASE don’t get hurt Joe.)

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP’s David Ginsburg says Sabathia stymied Orioles in 8-3 Yankees win

Watching CC Sabathia pitch last night, I had a couple of thoughts:

1-Boy would it be nice to be able to root for a guy like this on MY team

2-He looks like a skinny Ray Bachman!

CC gave the Yankees just about what they paid for last night. He’s not always going to be perfect, but he’s going to win a lot more than he’s going to lose. He gave up more hits than I would have expected, but he was effective after he gave up hits. Not perfect, but damn good.

Jeremy Guthrie? Well, I didn’t like the Jeremy Guthrie I saw last night. He’s pitched well for the better part of the season. I hope we see more of that.

I also hope we see more of this…

As Tracy Morgan is the best thing that’s happened to MASN in like….ever.

2. The AP/WNST.net offer numerical evidence of Birds’ loss

At this point, I believe even THIS MAN is having a better month than Adam Jones…

I’m not suggesting that Adam Jones be benched, but I do think it’s about time ANYONE ELSE leads off.

I mean, I’d even consider Craig Tatum at this point.

3. Fanhouse’s Andrew Johnson says ‘bitterness, cynicism, anger’ have come over Camden Yards fanbase

Which is incorrect.

Bitterness and cynicism happened in 2002. This is just plain indifference.

I can’t believe “Neal S” from The Loss Column somehow didn’t win “Apologist of the Morning” after this small piece of genius…

“I will say this, though: the horrendous start is not further proof of why folks are justified in staying away. Quite the opposite. Now is exactly the time to be there, More so than ever. That more fans don’t think this way is truly sad.”

Yep, people should feel bad because they choose not to pay a day of game service charge and a “premium game” service charge to sit with 20,000 fans from New York and watch a 4-17 team.

Yep, that’s the fans’ fault.

Wow.

4. New York Daily News’ Mark Feinsand says Yanks skipper Girardi not happy about Guthrie plunking Posada

Very obviously Guthrie wasn’t TRYING to plunk Posada. That being said, when a team is forced to go from Jorge Posada to Fransico Cervelli, I can understand the frustration.

There are like 5,100,888 “unwritten” rules in baseball, so I’m guessing AJ Burnett will probably have to plunk…Ty Wigginton?? Wow, has it come to that? Maybe it’ll be Matt Wieters, but someone is getting thrown behind tonight.

And people wonder why other sports have become more popular than baseball.

5. ESPN.com’s Rob Neyer says Chris Tillman threw no-hitter for Norfolk Tides

And this is LEGITIMATELY one of the most significant things that has happened for this organization since Cal Ripken’s retirement.

I’m not kidding either.

Rafael Palmeiro’s 3,000th hit would probably have to be the landmark “moment” since 2001-with maybe the expection of Miguel Tejada winning the All-Star Game MVP honors in 2005.

But this goes in the Top 10, if not the Top 5.

Seriously.

That’s what it’s come to.

As I noted on Twitter last night (feel free to follow us @WNST); Tillman now joins exclusive company in throwing an Orioles minor league no-hitter. Exclusive company like…RADHAMES LIZ!!!

I just hope it’s the last time…EVER…that the two pitchers are compared favorably.

(Note: Liz was a combined no-no with the Frederick Keys; I’m well aware.)

6. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Tim Bascom, Cole McCurry struggled on farm

And before we move on from the Orioles, a reminder that they’re back at it tonight at OPACY-as Brian Matusz faces AJ Burnett at 7:05pm. We’ll be “Orange Crush”-ing at WNST.net.

And congratulations to the MASN staff (we chose Adam Dembeck to accept on their behalf) for being named “Apologist of the Morning.” Nick Markakis was a nominee for Game MVP last night. A game where the Orioles got their asses kicked.

Of course he was.

7. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Ravens cut FB Charles Ali, will try Edgar Jones, Mike McLaughlin at FB

And you would have already known McLaughlin and Edgar Jones were Fullback options had you been listening to our live NFL Draft coverage here on AM1570 over the past weekend.

I’m not really sure that many people in Charm City were even aware there was someone named Charles Ali on the team. Laila Ali would be much more interesting…

8. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens says Johns Hopkins kept NCAA Tournament hopes alive with win over Towson

Sometimes your big brother has to remind you that he’s still your big brother, huh?

Tony Seaman’s Tigers were down 8-0 to the Blue Jays AT HALF.

The Jays will still have to go to Loyola next Saturday and beat the Greyhounds to get into the Tournament, while the Tigers have to beat Hofstra to have a shot at an at-large berth. Towson could still get an automatic bid if they could win the CAA Tournament-and they’ll have the advantage of playing games at Unitas Stadium.

And if you’re a Towson fan who wants to feel better today, I think I can help you. Trust me on this-you’re still a winner. How? Well, let’s take a look at a picture of upcoming Towson grad and current WNST intern Genna to figure out how…

9. WNST.net’s Gary Quill says Endorsement out, Make Music for Me in Kentucky Derby

“Make Music for Me” is a much better name for a horse anyway. Endorsement isn’t a horse, it’s a political event!

I haven’t decided who I think is going to win this thing yet-but I know I’m going to look sharp walking the grounds in Louisville. I’ll be Twitpic-ing and Facebook-ing pictures (Add me as a friend if you’d like, just search “Glenn Clark.” I’ll be the guy labeled as “The Complete Package.”), so you’ll fully understand shortly.

The only way someone could look better is if Lizzy Caplan from True Blood showed up at Churchill Downs. (Thanks Guyism!)

10. Daily Racing Form’s Jay Privman says Derby favorite Lookin At Lucky will start at rail

Immediately after the draw, Bob Baffert’s team got a note from jockey Calvin Borel. It read:

“Don’t get comfortable. I’ll be headed there shortly.”

And finally, I leave you with this…

There’s something interesting about Wendy Combattente. I just can’t quite put my pe finger on it (Thanks Busted Coverage!)…

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Happy Wednesday!

It’s a Happy Wednesday for me because DESPITE the fact that the Phoenix Coyotes were eliminated last night, it was still a REMARKABLE season for me as a hockey fan. Not having a team here to root for, I created a slew of memories following a bad team in Phoenix, only to have it pay off with this incredible run.

And as I always say, there’s plenty still going on for sports fans in Arizona…

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. The AP’s David Ginsburg says O’s hung on to beat Yanks for first win all season at OPACY

YES!!!!

For everyone who has said something like “they weren’t going to lose EVERY game they played at Camden Yards this season”, the only response I could think of was “Are you sure?”

There was an announced paid crowd of 20,000 at The Yard last night, and maybe the number of fans was somewhere in that neighborhood. It was good to see most of them go home unhappy.

I’ve heard a lot of praise for Kevin Millwood’s effort last night, but I’ll go ahead and be the one to say it. 5 and a third from your number 1 pitcher is not good enough, by any stretch of the imagination. They need more than that.

But I guess when you’re 4-16, getting 2 wins is enough for now.

2. The AP/WNST.net provide numerical evidence of win

Another disturbing number from last night’s game was the combined 1-16 effort the Orioles got from the first four hitters in their lineup (Adam Jones had a double and Matt Wieters had two walks; Nick Markakis and Miguel Tejada completely failed to reach base).

With the team having found some offensive success recently, I understand that Dave Trembley is looking for a little bit of continuity. With that in mind, I’m not suggesting any sort of offensive shakeup. But I AM suggesting that the players at the top of the lineup GET ON BASE.

This is a very simple game. Just ask Crash Davis.

3. WNST.net’s Luke Jones says Alfredo Simon recalled in time to pick up first career save for Birds

Dear God can we PLEASE STOP MAKING THESE SO DIFFICULT IN THE 9TH INNING?!?!?!

I guess the team has discovered the solution though-make sure you’re ahead by at least 3 runs before you get to the 9th inning!

Cesar Izturis apparently wanted to make sure he found a way to make everyone forget about his 2-3, 3 RBI performance. Not running to first base on a ground ball in Seattle and not moving runners on 1st and 2nd over at Fenway Park would have been NOTHING compared to the beating he would have taken for that last night had Alex Rodriguez came through for the Bombers.

Alfredo Simon is (I guess), the guy for a little while. Apparently there was an epic moment before the game when Trembley asked Simon “Are you scared?”. Christ. Why didn’t he just go all the way and channel Gerard Butler???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeNGVS2T_Rk[/youtube]

4. Frederick News-Post’s Stan Goldberg says Dave Trembley can’t be blamed for Orioles’ slow start

But even this effort couldn’t wrap up “Apologist of the Morning” honors for Stan, as “The Great Arbitrator” Drew Forrester instead selected Steve Heiser from the York Dispatch; who offered “pity” for the Birds because they have to compete with the Red Sox and Yankees in the AL East.

Ugh.

Moving back to what Stan wrote-I don’t COMPLETELY disagree with him. This ISN’T Dave Trembley’s fault alone. The problem is, Goldberg doesn’t suggest accountability for others in the organization who feigned interest in “wins and losses” this season despite not having any interest in putting together a legitimate major league roster.

It’s one thing to say “this isn’t Dave Trembley’s fault”, as it isn’t Dave Trembley’s fault ALONE. However, Trembley CAN be blamed for mismanaging a bullpen, questionable decisions about baserunning, insane lineup shuffling, and for a noticeable lack of fire in the collective belly of the team.

If you want to spare Trembley that blame, you have to be willing to place fault on Andy MacPhail and the leadership of the franchise. This isn’t just “unfortunate circumstances” or “bad luck.” This is a dreadful baseball team-so dreadful that winning 2 straight games was celebrated last night in the way some cities might celebrate the World Series.

5. Newark Star-Ledger’s Marc Carig says Yankees bullpen ineffective in loss

Apparently Boone Logan was confused by the sign hanging in the bullpen that said “Play Like an Oriole.”

If you missed Ken Singleton (YES Network) with Drew Forrester this morning on AM1570, make sure you check out the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault at WNST.net.

And to the rest of the Yankees fans staying here in Charm City, I offer you some Lord Tariq & Peter Gunz. Don’t say I never did anything for you…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdVefG2xuKo[/youtube]

6. The Sun’s Dean Jones Jr. says Brandon Erbe struggled, Koji Uehara appeared on farm

And to channel Ray Bachman….KO-JI!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before we move on from the Orioles, a reminder that CC Sabathia faces Jeremy Guthrie tonight at Yankee Stadium south; first pitch is at 7:05, and the game can be seen on MASN. If someone paid their bill, the game might be seen on MASN-HD tonight as well!

(Edit from GMC: Thanks for that last night.)

7. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Ryan Mink says Shayne Graham, Matt Stover, Shaun Suisham only free agent kickers available on market

And Shayne Graham has clearly been considered a shoe-in around the organization to be brought in and compete with Billy Cundiff for the gig.

Of course, it isn’t exactly a sexy list. It’s like having to pick a concert to go to from Nickelback, Lady Gaga and Britney Spears. I GUESS I’m going to Nickelback, but I’m not exactly excited about it.

I expect Graham to be signed before mini-camp next weekend. They’ll want to give him an equal chance to make the team even before Training Camp. And if he wants to make the team, I’d suggest one thing…

MAKE YOUR KICKS!!!

8. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Willis McGahee to be grand marshal for Preakness parade

With no offense to Willis, if I was picking someone to be the grand marshal of the race-I probably would have gone with Candice Boucher (Thanks Brosome.com!). I guess we just all have different ideas of what to look for in a grand marshal.

9. UMTerps.com says ‘national search’ for Chuck Driesell’s replacement to begin immediately

Add Duane Simpkins to the list of coaches who will say publicly (at least to me-and I believe he’ll be saying it on the air tomorrow with Bob Haynie on AM1570 tomorrow) that he wants the job. He’s currently coaching at St. Alban’s in Washington-and a lot of people hope he’ll help tap the DC recruiting pipeline more than Gary Williams’ staff has recently.

And don’t eliminate Xavier assistant Bino Ranson from the discussion. Despite once having Nestor Aparicio as a youth ball coach, the Baltimore product has quickly moved up the coaching pipeline; and had success this season under Chris Mack with the Musketeers. The Terps already have a Baltimore-based assistant in Keith Booth, but I’m not sure they’re completely thrilled with the endroads they’ve made here.

Still, it would very difficult for me to accept that someone coaching for the Terrapins was once coached by the Nasty One. He’s overcome greater obstacles than Michael Oher!

10. D1scourse’s Patrick Stevens previews tonight’s Hopkins-Towson game at Homewood Field

Should be a great atmosphere tonight, as Dave Pietramala’s Blue Jays are playing for their NCAA Tournament lives.

Tony Seaman’s Tigers can basically guarantee themselves at least an at-large spot with a win.

Look, it’s not like you’re going to be going to the Orioles game. Go watch some lacrosse!

11. WNST.net’s Drew Forrester has no problem with “Get Your Preak On”

And neither do I. Especially if I’m getting “my Preak on” with Ellen Petri (Thanks Guyism!)…

Oh, it’s another thing.

12. Daily Racing Form’s Jay Privman says Bob Baffert looking for 4th Kentucky Derby win with Lookin At Lucky

It would be about time something good happened for that guy.

And finally, I leave you with this…

I’m not REALLY sure what happened during the end of the NLB Final between Cibona and Partizan. Go to Deadspin and read up if you want. All I know is that it was amazing.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s10eG415NxU[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

Happy Tuesday!

It’s a Happy Tuesday for me because I forgot to name a “Greatest Song of All Time This Week” yesterday, which means I can give the nod today to Cypress Hill and Tom Morello for their tune “Rise Up.” It’s actually pretty good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBPTFMjm_WQ[/youtube]

Let’s see what everyone has to say…

1. STATS’ Santosh Venkataraman previews Yankees-Orioles series starting tonight at Camden Yards

Well, the 20,000 fans of the Bombers who will descend on OPACY tonight will get some good news. The leadership of the Baltimore Orioles knew that there would probably be as many fans from New York and New Jersey coming through their turnstyles this summer as there would be folks from Parkville, Carney and Glen Burnie; so they decided that they needed to alter their catering options so that the patrons would have options besides crabcakes. With that in mind, one of these is now open inside the Warehouse…

That’s right. If you haven’t been to the ballpark yet this season; there’s an authentic New York Deli now out in Right Field.

And why shouldn’t there be?

If their fans are going to come stimulate our economy, I guess we SHOULD cater to them.

This is Birdland!

2. The Sun’s Dan Connolly says Miguel Tejada thinks O’s will be better when they face teams like Yankees, Red Sox

“The Great Arbitrator” Drew Forrester didn’t have much of a choice this morning when it came to deciding on “Apologist of the Morning” on AM1570 WNST’s “The Morning Reaction.”

This was your winner in a LANDSLIDE.

Here are some of Tejada’s thoughts…

“I know we are not winning, but we want to play the good teams right now. Play the good teams, and our pitchers are going to be more ready and our bats aren’t going to go away,”

Well, they DID score 13 runs between Saturday and Sunday; so I guess the bats CAN’T go away-can they?

“When we beat the good teams, when we beat the Red Sox and Yankees, our attitude is going to be much better.”

And if we’re being fair-once again, they do already have ONE win against the Sox this season, and I think I can tell that the attitude is ALREADY better.

I don’t really even want to pile on here. I PRAY TO GOD that the Birds figure out a way to win a couple of games against the Yanks and Sox. And I really don’t think this is “bulletin board material” either.

Mostly because I think your opponent has to be concerned about playing you in order for there to be bulletin board material.

3. Virginian-Pilot says Josh Bell homered twice for Norfolk Tides in loss

You see? It’s a good think Andy MacPhail didn’t go out and sign someone like Adrian Beltre! You can’t have someone like that block the path of Bell getting to the big leagues!

If I’m being serious, I’m happy to see Josh Bell break out of his early season funk. Hopefully he can continue to swing a hot bat. Hopefully it will be a bat so hot that he forces his way to the major league level and then begins a campaign to win Rookie of the Year.

Also, hopefully he can figure out a way to play both third and first base. I’m sure Rhyne Hughes is the next coming of Boog Powell, but I’d like an insurance policy.

Also, can Josh Bell close games? When I was covering Arizona State baseball out in Phoenix, I always thought it was cool to see an outfielder come in and close a game. It would be equally cool to see the Orioles pull their 3rd baseman over to do the same thing.

And can he manage? That would be really helpful too…

4. National Football Post’s Aaron Wilson says Weber State CB Josh Morris declined offer from Ravens, will join Eagles

“Hello? Arlington Sheraton? Yes, this is Glenn Clark. Please cancel my reservations for late January and early February. The dream is over.”

Since joining a team as a UFA is usually no more than a tryout, it isn’t strange to see something like this happen.

And since the team is losing Josh Morris, I was wondering if they might be able to sign Zack Morris…

…who might have been equally as helpful to the team.

5. BaltimoreRavens.com’s Ryan Mink says Sergio Kindle will wear #49, Terrence Cody will wear #63

If you missed Terrence on with Drew Forrester this morning, head on over to the BuyAToyota.com Audio Vault; and you can hear from the Ravens’ 2nd round pick.

Semi-strange numbers for both. Presumably, other numbers could be available in the future as roster cuts are made or in future years-but if the Ravens are going to try to sell some Kindle jerseys right now, they probably wouldn’t want him to change his number before the Ravens battle the Jets on Monday Night Football.

I don’t believe there is any truth to the rumor that the Ravens first offered the number “163″ to Cody before he settled on 63.

6. NBC Sports/ProFootballTalk’s Mike Florio says Cowboys, Bills had interest in Jared Gaither

As multiple members of the organization told me while I was out in Owings Mills this weekend, they received not a SINGLE OFFER for Gaither.

I firmly believe that teams are INTERESTED in Gaither-but given the level of talent in the early rounds of this year’s NFL Draft, they just weren’t comfortable with the idea of giving up a pick to acquire Gaither.

I’m not comfortable with the idea of finishing this post without positing pictures of Nadine Velasquez…

7. USA Today says Michael Oher to write book called “I Beat The Odds”, set for February 2011 release

I feel like I’ve read this book before. Wasn’t it called “The Blind Side”?

In fairness, it’s only right that Michael be able to write his own version of the book-with his own thoughts on what’s happened in his life. He didn’t like everything that Michael Lewis wrote-so it’s good that he is able to tell the story the way he wants to tell it.

I’m looking forward to writing a book one day too. Mine will be called “Steve Melewski & Me: How A Summer Of Orioles Love Changed My Views As A Broadcaster.”

8. Washington Post’s Steve Yanda says Maryland assistant Chuck Driesell will take head job at The Citadel

A couple of things here:

1-While Driesell’s departure doesn’t exactly HELP the state of Gary Williams’ current staff, it does help Gary Williams indirectly-as he had only Mike Lonergan (Vermont) and Jimmy Patsos (Loyola) amongst former assistants who were head coaches at Division 1 programs. Dave Dickerson left Tulane this offseason and is now an assistant at Ohio State; Billy Hahn was dismissed from LaSalle quite some time ago and resurfaced as an assistant at West Virginia. This will extend the “Gary Williams Coaching Tree” to 3; which means a lot more to head coaches than you might realize.

2-There have been a TON of names floating around as potential candidates to replace Driesell on Gary Williams’ staff. Terrell Stokes (who previously interviewed for an assistant job in College Park and later served as an assistant at Loyola), Matt Kovarik (former Maryland assistant and current Loyola assistant), Matt Hahn (Vermont assistant), Duane Simpkins (St. Alban’s School Head Coach in DC), Byron Mouton (plays for the Maryland Greenhawks of PBL) and even Juan Dixon have been mentioned as possible candidates amongst former Terrapins. Of that list, Stokes has confirmed to me that he’s interested-and I’ll be poking around with some of the others today.

This isn’t a simple job. Working for Gary Williams never is. But it certainly isn’t a bad place to be for someone who is interested in moving forward with their coaching career.

9. Terrapin Trail’s Jeremy Schneider says Seton Hall Prep PG Sterling Gibbs commit to Terrapins

Which really is a pretty good get. You’re probably familiar with Sterling’s brother Ashton Gibbs-who plays for Pitt. He’s not big-we know that. He’s 6’1″, 180; and some who have watched him think those numbers are generous. But he can certainly play. Here’s a look…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bqy0A7KsiXM[/youtube]

The only bad thing about the commitment is that it means more of a Jersey influence here in Charm City. There’s only so much of Chris Bonetti that I can take.

10. Inside Lacrosse’s Danielle Bernstein says RPI rankings released: Maryland 3rd, Loyola 7th, Towson 10th, Hopkins 14th

I came up with my own RPI rankings of gals I found over at Guyism.com. Kelly Brook got my top spot…

11. Daily Racing Form’s Mike Welsch says Lookin’ At Lucky put in final Kentucky Derby work Monday in Louisville

I’m limiting the amount of people who say “here’s 20 bucks, go bet it on a longshot.” I’m doing it for Tim Dotterweich because he’s letting me borrow a suit. If you let me borrow a cool hat, I’ll do it for you. You know, a hat like this…

And finally, I leave you with this…

The Milwaukee Bucks mascot is better than yours. Just trust me on this….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3umtw179KA[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

This is my companion piece to yesterday’s local version. Please feel free to chime in about either. Tomorrow will be my “Top 10 Games of 2009.”

Honorable Mention: Bemidji State Makes a Run For the Little Guys, Rod Woodson and Bruce Smith Enter Pro Football Hall of Fame, Ms. Patrick Goes to NASCAR, Dwight Howard takes Magic to Finals, Michelle Wie Wins First LPGA Event, Syracuse Gets Another Lax Title, Kimbo Slice Goes to UFC, Thierry Henry Cheats France into World Cup, Serena Williams Loses her Mind, Del Potro Stuns Federer, Utah Gets Another Non-BCS BCS Win, Usain Bolt Does it Again, Rachel Alexandra and Zenyatta Get Big Wins for Girls, Philadelphia Loses a Voice, Alabama Ends Tebow’s Run, Michael Jordan goes to Springfield

25-Jimmie Johnson Makes it 4 Straight

24-Rickey Gets to the Hall

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tcd0fdt4JyU[/youtube]

23-Bobby Bowden Hangs ‘Em Up

22-Favre is Back. Again.

21-Manny Being A Cheater

20-Phelps Outduels Cavic Despite Scientific Disadvantage

19-Texas Survives to Play For Title

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6Drr0-3I6k[/youtube]

18-Plaxico Burress Goes to Jail

17-Syracuse/UConn Play College Hoops Classic

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Em–HcJDVjo[/youtube]

16-Nick Adenhart Dies in Car Crash

15-Sid The Kid Wins First Cup

14-US Soccer Pulls Absolute Stunner

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqHWFT_6-sY[/youtube]

13-Erin Andrews Video Shuts Down Internet

12-Mine That Bird Wins One for the Little Guys

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjY-rrAoTl8[/youtube]

11-Michael Vick Comes to Philly

10-Tom Watson NEARLY Does It

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_X3uGXCL28[/youtube]

Do you even REMEMBER that Stewart Cink won the British Open? Neither do I. In a sport that is completely irrelevant without its biggest star, it took a man on the verge of turning 60 to somehow find relevance. It was a fun weekend, even for those of us who don’t necessarily enjoy golf.

9-A-Rod Comes Clean

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwLszCGc8Vg[/youtube]

My how quickly a year goes by. If the Yanks don’t win the AL East (or World Series)-this might be the #2 story of the year, as it would have been one more time where one of the greatest players of all time let his team down. BUT-the Yanks won, and we all sorta forgot about this awkward moment in Spring Training. Could it cost Alex Rodriguez a place in Cooperstown one day? Maybe.

8-Brock Lesnar Gives UFC Biggest Moment in History

The biggest fight moment of the year was also the biggest moment in Mixed Martial Arts history. (Of course, if they could somehow figure out a way to get Brock, Fedor and Kimbo into the same ring at one time-the world might explode.) Dana White hit a home run with Brock Lesnar. He brought in someone with major appeal due to his background as an amateur wrestler, WWE champion and a failed NFL attempt. Lesnar rose quickly in a watered-down heavyweight division; and with one win over Randy Couture-he went from “The Next Big Thing” to “The Thing” at UFC 100 in July. Everyone watched, everyone talked about it; and the UFC finally had their crowning mainstream moment.

7-Michigan State Lifts Detroit….Until Falling to Carolina

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncqwc_XKtSs[/youtube]

The “moment” belonged to the Spartans. The city of Detroit was DESPERATE for something to rally around given the dire state of their economy, and the run to the Final Four by Michigan State game them exactly that. None of this takes anything away from what North Carolina accomplished, either. Tyler Hansbrough will go down as one of the all-time great college basketball players in history, and what happened in Detroit was his moment even more than it was Michigan State’s.

6-Tim Tebow Gets His

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cuUUGxrDR1M[/youtube]

Hate Tim Tebow all you want, but he’s been nothing short of amazing in his college football career. Plus, he’s been amazing off the field as well. His halftime rally was arguably greater than his on-field performance…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-qodBTlMtA[/youtube]

And hell-as far as moments go, his return to Gainesville may have been just as good….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ981abswsI[/youtube]

How did Sports Illustrated manage to screw this up??? This was a NO-BRAINER for Sportsman of the Year.

5-Federer Moves Past Sampras with Wimbledon Classic over Roddick

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IwBJ41_jIk[/youtube]

Was it as good as Federer-Nadal in ’08? I don’t know. It’s easy to say know; but watching the highlights again-wow. These two put on an epic match without the #1 vs. #2 billing or the rivalry status that Roger and Rafa had in ’08. It seemed like a fitting way for Pete Sampras’ career major title record to be broken, as Federer had to withstand the greatest career performance by the top American tennis player.

4-Kobe Gets Redemption

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUE73GqyPuU[/youtube]

Some people said he couldn’t win without Shaq. Others said he wasn’t the same after what happened in Colorado. They were all wrong. Kobe Bryant was just fine. The group of players around him (Andrew Bynum, Pau Gasol, Derek Fisher, Trevor Ariza, Lamar Odom, etc.) certainly lacked the “sex appeal” of previous Lakers teams, but it didn’t limit their effectiveness. And even more remarkably; Phil Jackson broke the record for most NBA Championships by a head coach (10, surpassing Red Auerbach’s 9)-arguably the most significant record of the year and yet mostly unnoticed.

3-Yankees Do It Again

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JsxZp6p8xqo[/youtube]

The excitement surrounding the New York Yankees winning their 27th World Series title had about as much to do with the anger most MLB fans felt towards the idea that the Yanks “bought” their title as it did with any actual celebration. Sure, the Yanks rolled out the equivalent of an All-Star lineup just about every night; but they still had to win the thing. Meanwhile, there were reports that baseball was played over the summer in Baltimore. We have not been able to confirm them just yet.

2-Steelers Win Super Bowl Classic

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOfouSAAkZY[/youtube]

God I hate admitting that anything they do is good. But this one certainly ranks amongst the greatest Super Bowl games of all time, thanks to the remarkable individual efforts of Ben Roethlisberger, Santonio Holmes, James Harrison, Kurt Warner, etc. Now let’s all hope that nothing good ever happens to those a-holes in Pittsburgh again.

1-Tiger Shows He’s Human

Was the moment Tiger Woods hit a tree in Florida the biggest moment of the year? Maybe not. But the collective “moment” that has extended from Thanksgiving to the end of the year has certainly been; mostly because it has obviously transcended sport. He’s the biggest athlete in the world-and he has peaked everyone’s interest; even if you don’t really care who he slept with. If Tiger eventually comes back and wins the Masters, this will be a story of redemption. If Tiger never wins another major, this will go down as one of the all-time great career declines in the history of sports. Probably the greatest. Enough to move Tim Finchem to alcohol…..

[myspace]http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=101355061[/myspace]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..

-G

You deserve props……

1-Mark Teixeira and Vladimir Guerrero

BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, we sure told him back in April, didn’t we???

Look-I’m not rooting for the Yankees like ol’ Drew Forrester is (he might as well be a communist)……but I couldn’t help but giggle when Tex crushed that homer Friday night. Seriously, does it get worse for us? Why don’t they just have Jeffrey Maier hit a game winner??????

And since they were my favorite baseball team last week in beating the Red Sox, The Angels will CERTAINLY be my favorite team this week when they face the Yanks. My choice for ALCS MVP? Danny Hemmerling…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0r6YLnPOY4&feature=related[/youtube]

2-Ahmad Bradshaw, Adrian Peterson and Michael Turner

Boy, they all looked pretty good. Remember when the Ravens used to look pretty good?

Anyhoo, apparently Brett Favre turned 40. This man declared it “The Most Important Day in American History”…..

3-Ricky Dobbs, Peter Athens and Devan James

I’m not sure if you noticed; but all of the above players play for teams in the state of Maryland; yet NONE of them play for the team CALLED Maryland. That’s because Maryland DIDN’T PLAY this weekend.

Yep, nothing happened. Don’t try asking me about it, because there was no game.

I was excited about Towson’s big win over Rhode Island, and couldn’t wait to get home and read about it in their student newspaper, The Towerlight. But WAIT A SECOND WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?!?

A STORY ABOUT SEX IN A STUDENT NEWSPAPER?!?!? UNACCEPTABLE!

Next thing you know, some blogger on a sports site will start posting gratuitous pictures of hot chicks in their underwear. What the hell is this country coming to? Oh wait……

4-Benson Henderson

Congrats to Benson Henderson for his big win at the WEC event Saturday night. I hope he gets to face Jamie Varner in Phoenix now. That’s a great MMA market.

Meanwhile, Tito Ortiz is apparently going to face Forrest Griffin at UFC 106; now that Forrest has moved past that whole “running out of Philadelphia like a bitch” thing. This is great news, as now I can post a picture of Jenna Jameson and it can KINDA have relevance to something; even if not at all. We’re all winners here.

5-Jeremy Maclin, Austin Collie and Miles Austin

Jesus, how can the Titans have gone from “Le Awesome” to “Le Suck” so quickly? They didn’t even look like a football team Sunday night.

There hasn’t been such a freefall in Nashville since Garth Brooks had an idea……

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7fM_jAmpWw[/youtube]

6-Josh Nesbitt and Ryan Williams

From the world of “I guess somebody has to win the ACC”, Georgia Tech got a big win at Florida State while the whole world was waiting for Bobby Bowden to resign, and Virginia Tech treated Boston College like Boston University in a thrashing in Blacksburg.

A reminder to get your spot on our bus trip to College Park for Maryland-Virginia next week. Sure, “Mr. October” Al Groh has his team playing well and “Mr. Medifast” Ralph Friedgen didn’t have the best of weekends, but maybe we’ll see this on the trip…

7-Tiger Woods

Look, I didn’t give HALF a crap about golf this weekend, but I can ALWAYS get behind America winning things. For example, if we don’t turn things around and start winning THIS particular championship in the future, there will be hell to pay….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwNy-q10rrY[/youtube]

8-Kurt Warner, Matt Hasselbeck, Ben Roethlisberger and Kyle Orton

You think Josh McDaniels was excited??? It probably had EVERYTHING to do with the fact that he realized he would NEVER have to see his Broncos wear these uniforms again….

9-Jimmie Johnson and Dario Franchitti

Congratulations to Dario Franchitti for winning this year’s IndyCar title. His prize? Ummmm…..winner gets to put extra vowels in their last name????

10-Alphonce Yatich and Iulia Arkhipova

I was actually going to run in this year’s Baltimore Running Festival. Unfortunately, I don’t believe I would have made it past Harborque……

11-Carmelo Anthony and Stephen Curry

Does anyone else actually think playing a game at Indian Wells is kinda cool?

And I’m not sure how things are going to work at the NBA level, but I can only hope leaving Davidson doesn’t mean we’ll see less of Stephen Curry’s mom…….

12-Gina Carano

If you never win another fight, trust me when I say that you’ve still accomplished plenty here on Earth…..

13-Novak Djokkovic and Jo-Wilfried Tsonga

Eh, what the hell? Here’s Serena Williams’ ESPN The Body Issue cover since we’re talking about tennis*

(*We were KINDA talking about tennis….)

14-Saturday Night Live

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3HEmUAKWjE[/youtube]

Borderline funny AGAIN. This is getting dangerous, NBC. Plus, I’m totally coming around on The Office. Can this network do anything better?

Oh, RIGHT!!!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEqW-aWr_f8[/youtube]

15-Bud Light Golden Wheat

If I have to stomach through one of the worst football games of all time AND ESPN360, I’m going to drink in the process. In fact, I’m going to drink so heavily that I think Wake Forest is actually playing for both teams; and Tim Duncan is having a hell of a game. But why does Dave Odom keep insist on letting Josh Howard punt? Dude, I love you. I know this is a crappy night and the Terps look like snowmobiles, but I’m glad you’re here. Let’s order a pizza, the other one disappeared……I ate it? You’re FUNNY! 

You got lucky……

1-Tim Howard

Remember what I was saying about America kicking ass? It’s much easier to kick ass when your opponent is bailing you out as if you were a Detroit automaker. Tim Howard’s reaction after this ball sails over the goal is priceless…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Kr8_KfdybU[/youtube]

I know this look. This is the EXACT same look I had when I was 13, had my parents come into my room to yell at me for something else; and realized that hadn’t even noticed the Playboy I accidentally left at the end of my bed.

Whew…..

2-Golf and Rugby

You know what else should be an Olympic sport? That’s right…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VqdAK_XMRjg[/youtube]

3-Owen Schmitt

That West Virginia education is sure looking good, huh?

“OH MAN, I’M EXCITED! LET ME BEAT MYSELF OVER THE HEAD WITH MY HELMET!”

I laugh, but the Mountaineers would kick the Terps’ ass right now, so I don’t really have anything else to say.

4-Anyone who got the chance to talk to Albert Pujols or Ray Lewis this weekend

Even with the superstars in town yesterday, no one could track down ol’ 52 after the game. That’s right, not my gal Rachel Nichols (who made trying to get work done REALLY difficult),

and not even Hall of Famer John Clayton…..

(Editor’s note: Say what you want about Sean Salisbury, but he was DEAD ON with that one….get it……DEAD on……you people suck.)

And since we’re talking about ESPN; what the hell was Christine Taylor doing on the “Mayne Event” with Kenny Mayne yesterday morning?

I mean, BESIDES making me drool…….Christine Taylor on the TV and Rachel Nichols a row down from me made me trying to do any work in the M&T Bank Stadium Press Box about as likely as Dave Trembley winning the 2009 Manager of the Year Award.

5-Randy Hanson

AND FINALLY WE HAVE A FIGHT WORTH WATCHING…..

In the red corner, Tom Cable……….

And in the blue corner, Kimbo Slice………

This is worth paying money for. Unlike everything else my man Kimbo has done since he got off YouTube….

6-Tomas Holmstrom

Did the Red Wings get lucky to score a Power Play goal Saturday night against the Capitals? How the eff would I know? There was college football on TV! NO CHANCE I would watch a NHL game.

Was Wings Center Henrik Zetterberg (or any other man) lucky to bag Emma Andersson? Umm, yes.

7-The Prankster Friend of Mine who Got Me GOOD Friday Night

This was EPIC.

I’m not sure how closely you follow the WNST staff on Facebook; but we have a bit of a game we like to play with each other. If one of us leaves our Facebook page up on a computer and walks away, we like to change the status to say something really mature like “I love my boyfriend.”

Yeah, we’re a classy group.

Well, such mature games carry over to other groups of my friends, which leads me to what happened to me Friday night.

I was with a buddy of mine (who happens to be from New Jersey), and we were watching the Yankees-Twins game. I was also talking to a friend of mine (who happens to be a VERY attractive gal), who I was planning on meeting up with later at a house party.

I hung up the phone, set it down, and went to the bathroom before leaving my friend (we’ll call him “Anthony” from now on)’s company for the company of the very pretty gal (we’ll call her “Michelle” from now on) and other friends.

When I came back, I had a text from “Michelle” saying “Was that intentional?”

To which I responded “What the eff?” in my head, but then decided I should probably figure out what was going on.

OH. CRAP.

You see, “Anthony”-who has been the victim of a number of my incredibly mature Facebook and Twitter pranks-he had gotten me back.

He went through my phone, found a picture of a gal in a state of undress, and texted it to the most recent phone number I had dialed, thinking it was my girlfriend.

Problem is, the recipient was NOT my girlfriend. But the picture….was.

Therefore, “Michelle”-who is a FRIEND of mine and a beautiful girl; now had a picture of “The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet”‘s boobs.

Anthony’s explanation?

“I was hoping to send a picture of your junk; but you didn’t have any in your phone.”

Sorry to let you down?

And “Anthony”, I owe you one. Probably something like this…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCGgg5lvdnI[/youtube]

You’re a zero……

Everyone in the country who was forced to watch the Browns play the Bills or the Panthers play the Redskins

I would have rather watched anything. Literally, anything. Christ, I would have rather watched this…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbfhb-43UNQ[/youtube]

Which got about a 3% on RottenTomatoes.com by the way. And is still 3% more than “Semi-Pro.”

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983……

-G