Top 10 Baseball Distractions

May 09, 2011 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Mixed Martial Arts-Bellator Fighting Championships 44 (Saturday 9pm from Atlantic City live on MTV2); Soccer: MLS-Colorado Rapids @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet); Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour Internazionali BNL D’Italia (Tuesday-Thursday 6am & 1:30pm, Friday 6am & 3:15pm, Saturday 8am & 2pm live on Tennis Channel & ESPN3.com, Saturday 10am live on Tennis Channel. All tennis from Rome, Italy); Women’s College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Navy @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm Field Hockey & Lacrosse Complex-College Park), UMass @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm Ridley Athletic Complex); Arena Football: AFL Tulsa Talons @ New Orleans VooDoo (Friday 8pm from New Orleans live on NFL Network)

10. M3 Rock Festival feat. Warrant, Kix, Whitesnake, Tesla, Sebastian Bach, Lita Ford, Mr. Big, Slaughter, Great White (Friday-Saturday Merriweather Post Pavilion); Sunday Funday feat. Amos Lee, Josh Ritter, Eric Hutchinson (Sunday 12:30pm Pier Six Pavilion); Eric Benet (Tuesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Social Distortion (Friday 7pm Rams Head Live); Richard Lewis (Saturday 8pm & 10:30pm Recher Theatre); My Chemical Romance (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Echo & The Bunnymen (Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Adele (Thursday 7pm 9:30 Club); Bob Marley (Wednesday-Sunday DC Improv); James Taylor (Wednesday 7:30pm Hippodrome); J Roddy Walston & The Business (Wednesday 8:30pm Rock & Roll Hotel); Doug Stanhope (Thursday 8pm State Theatre); The Lonely Island “Turtleneck & Chain” available in stores/on iTunes (Tuesday)

Of everyone playing at M3, I’d be most excited to rock out to this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bz61YQWZuYU[/youtube]

Sunday Funday actually sounds like my kind of show. I’d dig this…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm5TZX5hz3g[/youtube]

I’m not the type of Social D freak, but Social D is REALLY good…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXAU4MmMIMo[/youtube]

Adele is amazing. I mean, AMAZING…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYEDA3JcQqw[/youtube]

9. Preakness 5k (Saturday 10:30am Pimlico)

The cool concept behind the Preakness 5k is that human beings get to run at a track where horses…get to watch people in the infield urinate everywhere.

This is a reminder that Preakness is just a week away. You need to start making your survival plans now. Having not attended the Kentucky Derby this year, I think I might dress up a little bit this year. I’ve been looking at some former Preakness wardrobes for inspiration and I think I finally found mine…

preakness

8. Boxing: Andre Ward vs. Arthur Abraham (Saturday 10pm from Carson, CA live on Showtime); ShoBox: Sharif Bogere vs. Raymundo Beltran (Friday 11:05pm from Primm, NV live on Showtime); Friday Night Fights: Kendall Holt vs. Julio Diaz (Friday 9pm from Santa Ynez, CA live on ESPN2)

In boxing news, apparently after beating Shane Mosley easily in Las Vegas, Manny Pacquiao wandered into a club in Las Vegas and sang a few songs.

I’m sure it was awesome, but no way was it as awesome as the time he sang with Will Ferrell…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jT4hHMIpnjU[/youtube]

7. Pro Lacrosse: MLL Rochester Rattlers @ Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium)

You know how at the beginning of NFL season everyone says “the quest for the Vince Lombardi Trophy is on”?

Or how at the start of the hockey season we hear things like “The hunt for the Stanley Cup begins”?

Well…umm…what do they say at the start of lacrosse season? Honestly, what’s the trophy for winning the lacrosse title?

In honor of not knowing, I’ll label the debut of the MLL as “The Quest to look at this picture of Belen Rodriguez begins!”

(Thanks Guyism.)

belenrod

6. Auto Racing: NASCAR FedEx 400 (Sunday 1pm from Dover live on FOX)

Oh wow. NASCAR is back in Dover. If you get lost on your way back from Ocean City this weekend, stop by to do…nothing.

Yeah, that’s all I’ve got here. Seriously…there’s nothing else worth saying. If you’ve gone before, you understand.

5. NHL Playoffs: Western Conference Semifinals-Detroit Red Wings vs. San Jose Sharks (Game 6 Tuesday 8pm from Detroit live on VERSUS, Game 7 if necessary Thursday TBD from San Jose live on VERSUS), Vancouver Canucks vs. Nashville Predators (Game 7 if necessary Wednesday TBD from Vancouver live on VERSUS); Western Conference Finals & Eastern Conference Finals: Boston Bruins vs. Tampa Bay Lightning (begin this weekend, schedules TBD)

I couldn’t help but laugh at the misery of Washington Redskins fans last week as their beloved Capitals were so soundly dismissed by the Bolts.

HAHAHAHAHA YOUR HOCKEY TEAM SUCKS AND YOU DON’T HAVE A QUARTERBACK!

You might say that makes me a mean person. I’d say “up yours, Skins fans.”

All of Charm City is rooting for the Preds now I guess because of the Baltimore Skipjacks connection with Barry Trotz.

I’ll buy in. Cue Tim McGraw!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AX4tSBPSViE[/youtube]

4. Pro Wrestling: TNA Sacrifice (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View); WWE WrestleMania 27 available on DVD (Tuesday)

WrestleMania kinda sucked, so I would assume I know at least one doughy morning sports jock who will pass on making the purchase.

I’ll also likely pass on making the purchase of the TNA PPV (I’ve passed on all of the others before that), but it doesn’t mean my opinion of Mickie James has lessened at all…

mickiejames

3. Golf: PGA Tour THE PLAYERS Championship (Thursday & Friday 1pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 2pm live on NBC. All golf from Ponte Vedra Beach, FL)

The Players is apparently considered the “fifth major” on the PGA Tour.

Of course, most of the REAL majors are being won by golfers no one has ever heard of (see: Schwartzel, Charl), so maybe even Drew Forrester has a chance to win TPC.

More good news. No matter how bad the real golfers are, we can still laugh at the fake golfers. Like Charles Barkley…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQwa0VrdLsQ&feature=player_embedded[/youtube]

2. NBA Playoffs:Eastern Conference Semifinals-Atlanta Hawks vs. Chicago Bulls (Game 5 Tuesday 8pm from Chicago live on TNT, Game 6 Thursday 8pm from Atlanta live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday TBD from Chicago live on TNT), Miami Heat vs. Boston Celtics (Game 5 Wednesday 7pm from Miami live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Boston live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Monday 8pm from Miami live on TNT); Western Conference Semifinals-Oklahoma City Thunder vs. Memphis Grizzlies (Game 5 Wednesday 9:30pm from Oklahoma City live on TNT, Game 6 if necessary Friday TBD from Memphis live on ESPN, Game 7 if necessary Sunday from Oklahoma City TBD)

If you have American blood running through your veins, you will be rooting for the Grizz the rest of the way through the playoffs.

Or if you have Venezuelan blood. Either way, you better damn well be rooting for this man…

greivis

1. College Lacrosse: NCAA Tournament-Hofstra @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 12pm from Homewood Field live on ESPN), Maryland @ North Carolina (Sunday 1pm from Chapel Hill, NC live on ESPN2); Division 3 NCAA Tournament-Cabrini/Widener @ Stevenson (Saturday TBD Caves Athletic Complex)

Carolina again? Lord. I can’t stand the freaking Tar Heels.

I can’t find a YouTube video of the night the Terps stormed back from down 66-44 in the second half to be the Heels at the DeanDome. If anyone can track something down, please pass it along to me.

In the meantime, take this UNC fans…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwfLa-PmqpY[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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