Top 10 Baseball Distractions

May 30, 2011 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Sebastian Zbik vs. Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. (Saturday 10pm from Los Angeles live on HBO), Super Six World Boxing Classic Semifinals-Carl Froch vs. Glen Johnson (Saturday 9pm from Atlantic City live on Showtime); Arena Football: AFL Jacksonville Sharks @ New Orleans VooDoo (Friday 8pm from New Orleans live on NFL Network)

10. Rihanna/Cee-Lo Green (Saturday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); New Kids on the Block/Backstreet Boys (Friday 7:30pm Verizon Center); Gabriel Iglesias/Russell Peters/Lisa Lampinelli (Friday 8pm Patriot Center); Creedence Clearwater Revisited/Three Dog Night (Friday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion); Capital Jazz Fest feat. Herbie Hancock, Natalie Cole, etc. (Friday-Sunday Merriweather Post Pavilion); Matt and Kim (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Steel Pulse (Saturday 8pm Rams Head Live); Against Me! (Friday 7pm Recher Theatre), Bang Tango/Kip Winger (Saturday 6:30pm Recher Theatre); Chuck Brown (Saturday 8pm & 11pm Rams Head On Stage); Death Cab For Cutie (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club); The Bridge (Wednesday 8pm 8×10 Club); Bone Thugs N Harmony (Tuesday 7pm Bourbon Street); Bill Cosby (Thursday 8pm Wolf Trap), Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue (Sunday 2pm Wolf Trap); Brian Wilson (Monday 8pm Wolf Trap); Kenny Chesney/Zac Brown Band (Saturday 4:30pm FedEx Field); The Script (Sunday 7:30pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall); “X-Men: First Class” opens in theaters (Friday); Monster-Mania Con 18 (Friday-Sunday Baltimore Marriott Hunt Valley Inn)

First of all, there is simply no excuse if you’re not listening to The Bridge. They’re local, they’re outstanding and they’re really good looking. (Did I just say that?)

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmLaasnUiXw[/youtube]

There’s a really good chance I stand across the water and watch Three Dog Night. I mean, wouldn’t you?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-2wutEzjy_E[/youtube]

I’m a little embarrassed by how much I enjoy The Script. I feel like I might as well be a chick.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPEBN2dVNUY[/youtube]

I can’t believe Zac Brown Band has to open for Kenny Chesney. Lord knows it should be the other way around…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ChmnEFUGoA[/youtube]

9. Auto Racing: NASCAR STP 400 (Sunday 1pm from Kansas City, KS live on FOX)

I never really enjoyed watching auto racing to begin with, so I have to assume that the racing gods will be willing to make sure every race ends with someone doing something idiotic on the last lap just to make sure we have something to talk about the next day, right?

For what it’s worth, I’m sure JR Hildebrand will always appreciate the Christmas cards he’ll get from Jean Van De Velde FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE.

“Thinking about you pal. Know if must be tough…again.”

And then there’s Dale Earnhardt Jr. I get the feeling he just didn’t want the Chicago Cubs to feel like they didn’t have company.

Right?

8. Golf: PGA Tour The Memorial (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 3pm Sunday 2:30pm live on CBS. All golf from Dublin, OH); Champions Tour Principal Charity Classic (Friday 6:30pm Saturday & Sunday 7:30pm from West Des Moines, IA live on Golf Channel); LPGA Tour ShopRite LPGA Classic (Friday 12pm Saturday 5pm Sunday 4:30pm from Galloway, NJ on Golf Channel); Nationwide Tour Melwood Prince George’s County Open presented by Under Armour (Thursday & Friday 12:30pm Saturday 2:30pm Sunday 1:30pm from University of Maryland Golf Course in College Park live on Golf Channel)

At last week’s event, some guy I’ve never heard of beat some guy I’ve never heard of in a playoff. But good news! The guy who won is the nephew of some girl I’ve never heard of.

Former Terrapins coach Gary Williams is the host of the Nationwide Tour event this weekend, which means I’d almost think about caring about it.

If he makes a decent putt in the Pro-Am, I can only pray he celebrates accordingly…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDghwElDxMk[/youtube]

7. Mixed Martial Arts: The Ultimate Fighter Finale-Team Lesnar vs. Team Dos Santos (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on SpikeTV)

Saturday night’s event is highlighted by Clay Guida vs. Anthony Pettis. You may remember Pettis as the author of THE GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF MMA….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH7oRb5Knjc[/youtube]

Holy hell I still don’t believe that happened.

6. Soccer: Team USA vs. Spain (Saturday 4:30pm from Foxborough, MA live on ESPN), Team USA Women vs. Mexico (Sunday 2pm from Harrison, NJ live on ESPN2); MLS-DC United @ Los Angeles Galaxy (Friday 11pm from Los Angeles live on Fox Soccer Channel)

Understand-I WILL be rooting for the Red, White & Blue Saturday afternoon. That being said, it doesn’t change the fact that my heart will always belong to Spain’s Paz Vega. It is what it is.

Pazvega

5. Scripps National Spelling Bee (Preliminaries Wednesday 8am live on ESPN3.com, Semifinals Thursday 10am live on ESPN, Finals Thursday 8:30pm live on ESPN. All spelling from National Harbor in DC)

The bad news: Erin Andrews is no longer involved in Spelling Bee coverage.

The good news: I’m pretty sure no one will have to spell “sardoodledom” ever again…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-3JSYDApec[/youtube]

4. NBA Playoffs: NBA Finals-Dallas Mavericks vs. Miami Heat (Game 1 Tuesday 9pm from Miami live on ABC, Game 2 Thursday 9pm from Miami live on ABC, Game 3 Sunday 8pm from Dallas live on ABC)

Two things we can agree about as Americans.

One-we love our military. God bless.

Two-we of course hate LeBron James and the Miami Heat.

This is where things get sticky, because rarely as Americans have we ever knowingly accepted anything about Germany, so our upcoming love affair with Dirk Nowitzki is going to be uncomfortable at best.

Let’s remember though-without the Germans, we wouldn’t have ever had “Beerfest”…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMk5Vo_YRMU[/youtube]

Yep, go Mavs!

3. NHL Playoffs: Stanley Cup Finals-Boston Bruins vs. Vancouver Canucks (Game 1 Wednesday 8pm from Vancouver live on NBC, Game 2 Saturday 8pm from Vancouver live on NBC, Game 3 Monday 8pm from Boston live on VERSUS)

Another tricky spot here. We can either root for Canada…or we can root for a city that gave us the Red Sox and the worst sports “reporter” in Charm City. (You know who you are…and I’m sure you’re reading!)

So…let’s always remember that Canada gave us Our Lady Peace…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1Z89zW-8sY[/youtube]

And the great Pamela Anderson…

canucks

So….let’s go Canucks!

2. Council of Ravens Roosts Convention (Thursday-Sunday throughout Ocean City); 8th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals hears NFL appeal of ruling lifting lockout (Friday St. Louis)

You never know who you might bump into down in Ocean City during Ravens Roosts weekend. For example, you MIGHT bump into Sergio Kindle and Brian Billick…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hziVDMfNPvw[/youtube]

OR you might bump into the legendary Intern Genna, who I believe has a permanent address in OC…

interngenna

(Edit from GMC: She’s the one on the right. I’m sure you can stumble upon her at Seacrets…where you might find Ray Rice too.)

1. Tennis: ATP Tour & WTA Tour French Open (Tuesday & Wednesday 8am Thursday 5am Friday 7am live on Tennis Channel, Tuesday & Wednesday 12pm Thursday 8am live on ESPN2, Friday 11am Saturday-Women’s Final & Sunday-Men’s Final 9am live on NBC)

No American men are around for Week 2 of a grand slam event. Say it with me in your best Jim Nantz voice, “A Tradition Unlike Any Other.”

Clearly the highlight of Roland Garros thus far has already been documented by Deadspin.

And since we have nothing to REALLY talk about here, here’s one more picture of Maria Sharapova. I mean, why not?

sharapova

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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