Top 10 Baseball Distractions

August 15, 2011 | Glenn Clark

8. Soccer: MLS-DC United @ Chicago Fire (Thursday 9pm from Chicago live on ESPN2), DC United @ Sporting Kansas City (Sunday 8:30pm from Kansas City on Comcast SportsNet)

The good news for the MLS is that Freddy Adu has re-joined the league. The bad news for the MLS is that Freddy Adu is probably NOT QUITE the same ticket draw that he once was.

The joke’s on us. Freddy Adu used to date the singer named “Jojo.” She’s grown up nicely…


The amazing thing is that I’d be willing to bet that Freddy has done/can do better.

7. Charm City Roller Girls (Saturday 6:30pm Du Burns Arena)

My favorite thing about CCRG? (Boy I hope this hasn’t changed.) There’s two.

1-More Chipotle than you can handle.


2.PB effing R…


You know why the terrorists hate us? We get this.

6. Gymnastics: VISA Championships (Wednesday-Saturday from St. Paul, MN live on Universal Sports/NBC)

Look, I’m not saying I’ve ever watched gymnastics myself. But I know a guy who has. Let’s call him “Shmlenn Flark.”

That’s right, my friend “Shmlenn” watches a good bit of gymnastics when they’re on television.

The difficult part about watching gymnastics for “Shmlenn” is that every time he looks at the television during a gymnastics meet he says to himself “my that’s a pretty girl” but then has to follow it with “how old do you think she is?”

Shmlenn told me he was PRETTY sure Nastia Liukin was old enough by the time he proposed to her…

5. Auto Racing: NASCAR Pure Michigan 400 (Sunday 1pm from Brooklyn, MI live on ESPN)

At press time, the NASCAR series had yet to be able to run their race at Watkins Glen. In lieu of commentary about the stop, I instead offer this video (courtesy of “From the Marbles” over at Yahoo! Sports) of pace car crashes. It’s not too bad…