Top 10 Baseball Distractions

8. College Football: New Mexico Bowl-Temple vs. Wyoming (Saturday 2pm from Albuquerque live on ESPN), Idaho Potato Bowl-Utah State vs. Ohio (Saturday 5:30pm from Boise live on ESPN), New Orleans Bowl-San Diego State vs. Louisiana-Lafayette (Saturday 9pm from New Orleans live on ESPN)

To celebrate…yes…a trip to the Smurf Turf…Aggies coach Gary Anderson put a USU tattoo on his back. It sounds really awful. What the hell do you do if the Aggies ever make it to a real bowl game?

A Utah State tattoo really sounds awful and all, but I think there’s worse. For example, there’s whatever this is…

Oh and this…

But the worst. BY FAR. Is this…

That ain’t coming out, bro.

7. Boxing: Super Six World Boxing Classic Final-Carl Froch vs. Andre Ward (Saturday 9pm from Atlantic City live on Showtime)

This appears to be an exciting fight. And I would know a thing or two about exciting fights. For example, here’s the big title showdown between two random women at a shopping mall recently…

6. Soccer: MISL Missouri Comets @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 7:35pm 1st Mariner Arena)

I had a great time last Friday night at the Baltimore Blast game. I always have a great time at Baltimore Blast games. It was the highlight of my weekend, honestly….or at least the highlight of my weekend right up until I saw this picture of Lily Aldridge at Guyism…

That, yes, became the new highlight of my weekend.

5. Preseason NBA: Philadelphia 76ers @ Washington Wizards (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

I was looking at the Wizards’ roster the other day and I realized “holy hell, this is the same friggin’ group of crappy players.” Then I remembered they drafted a kid named Jan Vesely, who apparently thinks Flip Saunders really likes white players.

But not as much as Jan Vesely enjoys making out with his girlfriend…

Seriously though, I hope you’re not a Wizards fan. They’re going to stink. Again. I’m stoked!