Top 10 Baseball Distractions

September 01, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA Washington Mystics vs. Seattle Storm (Thursday 7pm Verizon Center), College Football: Johns Hopkins @ Delaware Valley (Saturday 2pm), Chick-Fil-A Kickoff Game: Virginia Tech vs. Alabama (Saturday 8pm from Atlanta live on ABC), MMA-XFC 9: Evolution (Saturday 9pm from St. Petersburg live on HDNet), NASCAR Pep Boys Auto 500 (Sunday 7pm from Atlanta live on ESPN)

10-Glenn’s 26th Birthday (Sunday, you can celebrate from home or add me on Facebook to find out where I’ll be celebrating)

As I mentioned Sunday night; a Joe Flacco bobblehead doll would certainly be an appropriate birthday gift. However, there are other things that would make appropriate birthday gifts. For example…..

The WWE “Rise and Fall of WCW” DVD would be nice….


Maybe tickets to see Sister Hazel at Rams Head Live……

Or a nice authentic Ed Reed jersey (available in the STORE!)….


Look, this sounds funny and all; but I REALLY expect you guys to get me gifts. Hell, if you get me one of these things, you get an IMMEDIATE “front of the line” pass when you call in, and/or you get to sit in for an hour of the show.

Not kidding.

9-Counting Crows (with Augustana, Michael Franti & Spearhead-Saturday 6pm doors Merriweather Post Pavilion), Jimmy Buffett (Thursday & Saturday 8pm Nissan Pavilion), Wallflowers (Thursday 7pm doors 9:30 Club), Gavin Degraw (Friday 7:30pm Maryland State Fairgrounds in Timonium); also new Chevelle CD “Sci-Fi Crimes” in stores (Tuesday)

So here’s why I like all of these things……

oh, and this is ABSOLUTELY in the running for my Rock Jam of the summer, mostly because “Know Your Enemy” by Green Day is really my only other option…….

8-Chick-Fil-A Labor Day Giveaway (Monday)

Is Chick-Fil-A a sponsor? No. Do I care? No. Why? Because they’re freaking AWESOME. There’s NOTHING in the world better. Ever. You know why? Because after YOU (I’m looking at you, Steve) give me that Ed Reed jersey for my birthday Sunday, I just have to wear it over to the 10 different Chick-Fil-A locations in Baltimore and Harford County and collect about 40-50 sandwiches. If you think I’m kidding, apparently you forgot what happened the LAST time CFA did a giveaway…..


7-Bob Barker guest hosts WWE Monday Night RAW (Monday 9pm from Chicago live on USA Network)


If they don’t figure out a way to replicate The Price Is Right’s PLINKO on Monday night, I might lose my freaking mind.

I’ve never seen this clip before. It’s worth the setup. Please trust me…..

6-Golf-FedEx Cup Playoffs: Deutsche Bank Championship (Friday & Saturday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Sunday & Monday 3pm live on NBC. All gripping action from Boston.), Champions Tour Walmart First Tee Open at Pebble Beach (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm live on Golf Channel)

In this week’s “Whatguywhoyou’veneverheardofwillbeatTigeronthefinalhole Open Classic”, I’ll go with James Nitties, who apparently has a tattoo on his arm. WHAT THE EFF?!?!?!?!?


Really? REALLY? I swear to God, Steve-O was wrong. He NO LONGER has the worst tattoo of all time….


Also, apparently that guy Nitties used to be on “The Big Break” on The Golf Channel; which reminds me that Blair O’Neal did something recently. I don’t know what it was, and I don’t really care either. Maybe she bought a sandwich? Does it matter?


5-Ravens @ Falcons (Thursday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on WBAL11/MASN)

I’m not saying that most of the players in Thursday night’s game will be zilches; but I actually believe THIS MAN is going to get playing time…….


(Editor’s Note: I’m kidding. Captain Dee is MUCH better than some of the scrubs you’ll see Thursday night)

Also, while in “Hotlanta”, I recommend hitting “The Varsity”. Why? Maybe the “double chili and cheese” might help convince you…..


4-U.S. Open (Tuesday-Friday 11am Tennis Channel, 1pm & 7pm ESPN2; Saturday & Sunday 11am CBS, 7pm Tennis Channel; Monday 11am CBS, 7pm ESPN2. All action from Flushing Meadows.)

Three suggestions for ESPN2’s coverage of the Open. First, with Andy Murray and Roger Federer likely to last until the end of this thing; you might need to spice things up a bit. I suggest trying to get more Agassi in the booth to keep things interesting.

Second, Tighten up your camera angles. USA Network made it so that I wasn’t just watching Andy, I felt like we were practically spooning (and I wish!)…….


Third, whatever you do-whenever she gets eliminated (has she already been eliminated?)-please, PLEASE, more Wozniacki….


3-World Cup Qualifying: Team USA vs. El Salvador (Saturday 8pm from Sandy, UT live on ESPN Classic), U.S. Open Cup Final: DC United vs. Seattle Sounders (Wednesday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Fox Soccer Channel), College Soccer: Maryland vs. UCLA (Friday 8pm Ludwig Field)

Nothing screams patriotic soccer showdown like a trip to SANDY, UTAH?


In a word to EVERYONE who has to travel to watch this match; I’m sorry. Now go kick some Salvadorian ass.

2-High School Football: Perry Hall vs. Joppatowne (Friday 7pm), South River vs. Glen Burnie (Friday 6:30pm)

Sure, Loch Raven-Loyola Blakefield and Urbana-Eastern Tech might have more importance locally; but not in the studios of The Comcast Morning Show.

In fact, I think I’m going to go ahead and pick some scores here……

Perry Hall 63, Joppatowne 6
South River 179, Glen Burnie -14

Sorry Forrester, the Gophers suck.



1-Maryland @ Cal (Saturday 10pm from Berkeley live on ESPN2), Towson @ Northwestern (Saturday noon from Chicago live on Big Ten Network), Navy @ Ohio State (Saturday noon from Columbus live on ESPN)


It’s BACK.

And if you want to tell me about how the Golden Bears are going to win by 30+ points, please remember the last time Jahvid Best faced the Terps……