Top 10 Baseball Distractions

September 14, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: TNA “No Surrender” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View), High School Football: Tuscarora at Perry Hall (Thursday 7pm), College Soccer: Towson @ UMBC (Wednesday 4pm) Golf: Champions Tour Greater Hickory Classic at Rock Barn (Friday-Sunday 3:30pm live on Golf Channel from Conover, NC) LPGA Samsung World Championship (Thursday & Friday 8:30pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 1:30pm and Sunday 4pm live on NBC. All action from San Diego.)

10-The Informant! Opens in Theaters

Why does this stupid movie look so funny to me? Am I a little brain? You know what, strike that last question. This really DOES look like a good flick though. Maybe not Ocean’s 11 good, but certainly a hell of a lot better than Ocean’s 12, right? Although, there’s a chance Gigli was better than Ocean’s 12.

9-WNBA Playoffs: Washington Mystics vs. Indiana Fever (Thursday 7pm from Comcast Center live on ESPN2, Saturday 7pm from Indianapolis live on NBA TV, Monday 8pm from Indianapolis live on ESPN2)

Two reasons why I’m rooting for the Washington Mystics. One, they’re playing their playoff games at Comcast Center-which would give me an excuse to spend some more time in College Park. You know who lives in College Park?


That’s right; Noel Simone, Connie Du and Jessica Lynn who all appeared in the “Girls of the ACC” section of the most recent issue of Playboy. I know because I spent an hour in the bathroom with the issue the other night I was reading about them in The Diamondback the other day.

Second, Marissa Coleman plays for the Mystics. And frankly, I’d like her name to be Marissa Clark in the future.


8-Delmarva Bike Week (Thursday-Sunday, Ocean City) Robert Randolph & The Family Band (Friday 8pm Bottle & Cork in Dewey Beach)

Bike Week looks like this, RIGHT?


And if you’re in Ocean City for Bike Week, I SERIOUSLY suggest you go see Robert Randolph while you’re in town. In case for some UNFREAKINGBELIEVABLE reason you missed him at Artscape, he can do this…….

7-NASCAR-Chase for the Cup: Sylvania 300 (Sunday 1pm from New Hampshire live on ABC), IRL Indy Japan 300 (Saturday 10:30pm from Twin Ring Motegi live on VERSUS)

So, NASCAR is apparently going to start their playoffs this week. I’d be excited if I were excited.

But this is difficult for me. Do I want some awesome playoff racing, or do I watch…..ummm…..lawnmower racing????

6-Preseason NHL: Sabres @ Capitals (Monday 7pm Verizon Center)

I guess it is about time for Hockey season again; what with last season ending last week and all. I was going to try to offer you some analysis of what to expect from the Caps this season; but they’re called the Washington Caps, so I basically don’t give a crap. Instead, I thought we could take some time to discuss the hottest hockey wives and girlfriends; since-well, that’s what we do here.

Willa Ford (wife of Mike Modano)


You know, I’d keep going here…..but……Jesus……..

5-Boxing: Floyd Mayweather vs. Juan Manuel Marquez (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on HBO PPV)

Holy crap we actually have to pay attention to boxing again this weekend? What the hell is going on in the world?

And does it matter if Floyd Mayweather can beat Juan Manuel Marquez? We all know he already lost to the only competition that matters……..

Also, I have an idea of who Floyd should take on next. Someone more along Mayweather’s size. Someone like……..Hornswoggle?

4-College Football: Middle Tennessee State @ Maryland (Saturday 3:30pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPN360), Coastal Carolina @ Towson (Saturday 7pm from Unitas Stadium live on AM1570 WNST), Navy @ Pitt (Saturday 6pm live on ESPN360), Morgan State vs. Winston-Salem State (Saturday 2pm from East Rutherford, NJ), Nebraska @ Virginia Tech (Saturday 3:30pm from Blacksburg live on ABC)

If we know one thing, the Terps CERTAINLY aren’t going to lose to a team called the Blue Raiders, right? Oh……

If MTSU somehow figures out a way to top Maryland again, PLEASE keep me away from this place…..


3-Ravens @ Chargers (Sunday 4:15pm from San Diego live on CBS)

I’ll be rooting for the Ravens. And I cannot confirm or deny that is has anything to do with the fact that Perry Hall High alum Heather Sheldon roots for the Ravens…….


2-Maryland Cornhole Cup (Saturday 10am Navy-Marine Corps Stadium)

This is your last chance, Melewski. Me and you. Team Gator Bites. Let’s do PH proud.

If you won’t, I might have to go with Ray Bachman as my partner……


1-UFC Fight Night: Diaz vs. Guillard (Wednesday 8pm from Oklahoma City live on SpikeTV), The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights debuts (Wednesday following Fight Night live on SpikeTV), UFC 103: Franklin vs. Belfort (Saturday 10pm from Dallas live on Pay-Per-View)

Look, I’m as excited about this guy as ANYONE else…..


But is it REALLY a good idea for one of the bigger weeks in MMA history to be based around a guy whose last fight looked like this……..?

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..