Top 10 Baseball Distractions

October 13, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Super Six World Boxing Classic: Arthur Abraham vs. Jermain Taylor & Carl Froch vs. Andre Dirrell (Saturday 8pm live on Showtime from Berlin, Germany and Nottingham, England), PGA Justin Timberlake Shriners Hospital for Children Open (Thursday-Sunday 5pm from Las Vegas live on Golf Channel), Champions Tour Administaff Small Business Classic (Friday-Sunday 2:30pm from The Woodlands, TX live on Golf Channel)

10-TNA “Bound For Glory” (Sunday 8pm from Irvine, CA live on Pay-Per-View)

Why should you watch this event? 6 words, 2 syllables. Christy Hemme…….

hemme

9-AC/DC (Friday 8pm Verizon Center), KISS (Tuesday 6:30pm Verizon Center), Everclear (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre)

If you don’t think this is amongst the greatest songs of all time, then you and I just can’t be friends…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je7MqES4Wfk[/youtube]

And if you don’t think this was one of the greatest songs of my lifetime, you’re clearly some form of communist…..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjvGwgXa1ks[/youtube]

And if you don’t think this is a feat of wonder, you and I might as well just go ahead and part company now…..

simmons

8-Price Modern Lacrosse for Leukemia (Saturday 8:30am Cedar Lane Park in Bel Air) Fall Ball: Johns Hopkins vs. Team England (Tuesday 3:30pm Homewood Field)

I will freely admit that I rarely root for Hopkins. As a Maryland fan, the thought of Hopkins’ success makes me INSANE. But the British are the EXACT reason why I will suddenly find myself rooting for the Blue Jays.

Consider the things that the United Kingdom has offered us…….

Mr. Bean……..

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJlvsuwFoSE[/youtube]

Beans on Toast?

beans

THE CRAZY FROG?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad93KD6tWOk[/youtube]

Britain sucks. Please destroy them accordingly. That is all.

7-NASCAR Banking 500 Only From Bank of America (Saturday 7pm from Charlotte live on ABC)

The Top 5 drivers in the Chase for the Cup are separated by no more than 105 points.

WOW. That was like the most in-depth NASCAR analysis I’ve ever given. My pick to win the race? Lightning McQueen

mcqueen

6-High School Football: Perry Hall @ Woodlawn, Bel Air @ Joppatowne (Friday 7pm)

It’s on the list for one reason, and one reason only. If you’re headed to ANY High School Football game this weekend, please remember…..

jailbait

5-Sharks @ Capitals (Thursday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Predators @ Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

If you’re going to one of these games in our nation’s capital; please find someone with the letter “R” on their baseball Cap, and thank them for having a team so miserable that we can feel a bit better after losses.

And while we’re on the subject of the NHL, can ANYONE tell me why THIS man is trying to make a comeback?

chelios

Oh. I guess I should let you know that THIS MAN is Chris Chelios. And that he’s 47. I apologize. I mistakenly think people care about hockey sometimes.

4-Ravens @ Vikings (Sunday 1pm from Minneapolis live on CBS)

The Vikings are such an AWESOME combination of storylines…..

There’s the guy under center….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MX0nuEuuKIk[/youtube]

The maniac that will be coming after Joe Flacco all game….

allen

And of course the guy who makes the rest of the guys in the locker room wear towels a bit longer…..

shiancoe

(A note: Former Morgan State Bear Visanthe Shiancoe will join Drew Forrester on The Comcast Morning Show Wednesday at 9:15)

3-College Basketball: Maryland Madness (Friday 5:30pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), UMBC Midnight Madness (Friday 10pm RAC Arena)

DADDY’S BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2E071HeZhcs[/youtube]

(Editor’s note: I TOTALLY got to drive that car after Daddy and Boom Osby were done with it. You know why? Because I always tell everyone Daddy is doing a good job as head coach even when he’s……….just doing a good job as head coach.)

I’m also excited about the women’s team. Or at least Emery Wallace…..

emery

2-World Cup Qualifying: Team USA vs. Costa Rica (Wednesday 8pm from RFK Stadium live on ESPN2), College Soccer: UMBC vs. Longwood (Saturday 1pm UMBC Soccer Stadium), MLS: DC United vs. Columbus Crew (Saturday 8pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet)

Sure, Team USA already qualified for the World Cup. But America KICKS ASS. How do I know this? Because we live in a world where a 300 year old Hugh Hefner can still date gals that look like this…..

hefner

1-College Football: Virginia @ Maryland (Saturday 4pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU), Navy @ SMU (Saturday 8pm from Dallas live on MASN), Delaware @ Towson (Saturday 3:30pm from Unitas Stadium live on AM1570 WNST), Howard @ Morgan State (Thursday 7:30pm from Hughes Stadium live on ESPNU), Oklahoma vs. Texas (Saturday noon from Dallas live on ABC)

For the record, it is Homecoming in College Park. While “The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet” cannot make it; WHOEVER my date ends up being HAS to be better than my date freshman year….

ugly

At least she was really a sweet girl.

And also, I’ve never been to the Red River Rivalry or the Texas State Fair; but apparently THIS was the food named “Best Taste” in the Big Tex Choice Awards at last year’s fair….

bacon

CHICKEN.FRIED.BACON.HOLY.CRAP.I.JUST.PEED.MYSELF.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983……

-GTop

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