Top 10 Baseball Distractions

October 19, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: NHL: Capitals @ Thrashers (Thursday 7pm from Atlanta live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Islanders (Saturday 7pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet), NASCAR Tums Fast Relief 500 (Sunday 1pm from Martinsville live on ABC), Preseason NBA: Wizards @ 76ers (Tuesday 7pm from Philadelphia live on Comcast SportsNet)

10-Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen available on Blu-Ray/DVD (Tuesday, wherever you like to purchase motion pictures), FIFA 10 available in stores (Tuesday-I’ll probably go to Best Buy to get mine)

Ah, FIFA Soccer. This reminds me of being in college, smoking a bowl, ordering a pizza, dominating as Luis Figo, and not going to any of my classes. WAIT. Did I say smoking a bowl? I meant…..enjoying a bowl of Cheerios. I don’t want to give anyone the wrong idea, here. You should NEVER smoke marijuana. It is both illegal AND completely uncool.

Some people didn’t think Transformers was all that good this time around. I guess they missed the part where Megan Fox was STILL in the cast…….


9-Maxwell (Friday 7:30pm First Mariner Arena), Sister Hazel (Friday 8pm Rams Head Live), Vertical Horizon (Friday 8pm Recher Theatre), Little Richard (Tuesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Paramore (Friday 4:30pm Merriweather Post Pavilion)

First of all, I WILL be going to see this man on Friday. I have told my date to bring an extra pair of panties, as hers will be sure to be off in his presence……

That being said, I TOTALLY respect anyone who decides to go see Sister Hazel Friday night, because this song kicks more ass than Arthur Abraham when Jermain Taylor is in the same zip code……

8-WWE “Bragging Rights” (Sunday 8pm from Pittsburgh live on Pay-Per-View), WWE Smackdown vs. Raw 2010 hits stores (Tuesday wherever video games are available)

Do I know anything about this event? No. Do I think Kelly Kelly might somehow be involved? Who cares. Here’s a picture of her.


7-PGA Grand Slam of Golf (Tuesday & Wednesday from Southhampton, Bermuda-airing on TNT at 4pm Tuesday, 5pm Wednesday), PGA Open (Thursday-Sunday 4pm from Scottsdale, AZ live on Golf Channel)

Boy, real star-studded affair at the Grand Slam, huh? I’m reasonably certain that if Stewart Cink is the most significant invite to your party, you’re not having a particularly good party. Of course, I would know a thing or two about bad parties, especially after I invited this power couple to my last one….


Too soon? Not relevant enough? You guys are so freaking judgmental. Bite me.

6-Horse Racing: De Francis Dash (Saturday-Racing begins at 1:10pm Laurel Park)

Apparently the last horse to win the De Francis Dash was named Benny the Bull. Which is funny, because that was the same name as my favorite character from NBA Jam…..


And because I have the mindspan of a ADD-riddled 12 year old, here’s a picture of Dennis Rodman in a wedding dress. God I can’t wait for HIS Hall of Fame speech……


5-Soccer: FIFA Under 17 World Cup: Team USA vs. Spain (Monday 2pm from Nigeria live on ESPNU), Albany vs. UMBC (Saturday 1pm UMBC Soccer Stadium), Maryland vs. Seton Hall (Tuesday 7:30pm Ludwig Field-College Park)

I was hoping there would be someone from the Free State on the American U17 squad seeing as how the state keeps stockpiling talent, but the closest is Alex Shinsky from York, PA. Which really doesn’t suck that much because this band is from York, PA….

I don’t have any idea what any of this has to do with soccer, but Live kicks ass. And so does America. Eff you Spain!

4-High School Football: Glen Burnie @ Severna Park (Friday 6:30pm), Dulaney @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Bel Air vs. C. Milton Wright (Friday 7pm)

Am I getting predictable? Don’t care. As I reminder, if you’re headed out to any high school football games this week…..


3-NFL Week 7: New England Patriots vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Sunday 1pm from London live on CBS), Minnesota Vikings @ Pittsburgh Steelers (Sunday 1pm from Heinz Field live on FOX), Chicago Bears @ Cincinnati Bengals (Sunday 1pm from Paul Brown Stadium live on FOX), Arizona Cardinals @ New York Giants (Sunday 8:20pm from Giants Stadium live on NBC), Philadelphia Eagles @ Washington Redskins (Monday 8:30pm from FedEx Field live on ESPN)

I can’t confirm those as the games that will be on TV locally, but it certainly looks like it. Here’s a question for you Steve Hauschka detractors…..if for some reason Mike Tomlin were to cut drunk Jeff Reed, would you take him???


2-College Football: Wake Forest @ Navy (Saturday 3:30pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on CBS College Sports), Maryland @ Duke (Saturday 1:30pm from Durham live on ESPN360), Towson @ Northeastern (Saturday 1pm from Boston-coverage on AM1570 WNST begins at 12:45pm), Boise State @ Hawaii (Saturday 11pm from Honolulu live on ESPN360)

Is there anything greater than going out to a bar, strolling in around 1:30, flipping on your TV and seeing that there is STILL live football being played somewhere in the world? I will be ALL IN on Broncos-Warriors Saturday night. Of course, if I was IN Hawaii, I might find myself distracted…….


1-Mixed Martial Arts: Shogun Fights (Saturday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena), UFC 104 (Saturday 10pm from Los Angeles live on Pay-Per-View)

You know why I’m MAKING SURE I don’t miss Shogun Fights Saturday night? Because I don’t want either of these men to kick my ass…..


…and I don’t even have a clue who the guy on the left is.

That being said, as I’ve mentioned before-the challenge is out there. If John Rallo puts on another event in the Spring, I want to fight. I’ll go to Ground Control for a couple months leading up to it (after Ravens season is over), and I’ll battle YOU Josh Hall….


or YOU Chris Bonetti…..


or even YOU Intern Super Jack……


So who’s got the balls? You’ve seen what these guns can do on The Comcast Morning Show, now let’s see what these guns can do in the octagon. If you’re a WNST employee (or somehow affiliated), and you want a piece of The Most Electrifying Man in Sports Radio Entertainment… just let me know.

(Editor’s note: You know, anyone besides Bachman. He’s way bigger than me….)


Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..