Top 10 Baseball Distractions

November 03, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: U-17 World Cup-Team USA vs. Italy (Wednesday 10am from Nigeria live on ESPN360), College Soccer: Navy @ Maryland (Tuesday 7:30pm Ludwig Field); Boxing: Chad Dawson vs. Glen Johnson (Saturday 9:30pm from Hartford live on HBO), NASCAR Dickies 500 (Sunday 2:30pm from Texas Motor Speedway live on ABC), College Football: Johns Hopkins vs. Franklin & Marshall (Saturday 1pm Homewood Field)

10-Disney’s “A Christmas Carol” and “The Men Who Stare At Goats” Open in Theaters (Friday, wherever you choose to pay $50 bucks for 2 tickets and some popcorn)

Am I a weirdo for being excited about Jim Carrey’s go as Ebenezer Scrooge? Yeah, maybe. But I really don’t care, because this flick looks AWESOME…..

Plus, this flick looks pretty kick ass too…..

And if it isn’t as great as I had hoped, at least there’s some eye candy….


WAIT! I didn’t mean “eye candy”…….I meant, “really good acting”……………and eye candy.

9-High School Football: Hereford @ Perry Hall (Friday 7pm), Chesapeake (Anne Arundel) @ Glen Burnie (Friday 6:30pm), John Carroll @ Curley (Friday 2:30pm)

The good news for my Gators is that even if they lose Friday night, they might be declared winners after the officials check the Hereford team’s underpants!

And as always, if you’re headed out to a high school football game Friday night, PLEASE remember……


8-NBA: Wizards @ Cavaliers (Tuesday 7pm from Cleveland live on Comcast SportsNet), Heat @ Wizards (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet Plus & ESPN), Wizards @ Pacers (Friday 7pm from Indianapolis live on Comcast SportsNet), Suns @ Wizards (Sunday 1pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

If you asked me to name more than 4 members of the Wiz, I’m not sure I could. Gilbert Arenas, Antawn Jamison, Caron Butler, Andray Blatche……….DeShawn Stevenson! HAHA! I know 5! Suck it, haters!

Anyway, we could set here and chat about hoops like schoolgirls, or we could watch the legendary “Gheorge Muresan Cologne” Snickers commercial. Okay then…..

7-Golf: World Golf Championship: HSBC Champions (Wednesday-Saturday 11pm from Shanghai live on Golf Channel)

This is really tough for me. You see, I have long sang the virtues of late-night sports TV viewing. There is nothing cooler than going out on a Saturday night; stumbling in around 1:30 or 2am, and seeing an actual live sporting event on TV. However, if that sporting event is golf-does it even count? Even IF Tiger Woods is involved?

The PGA Tour recently suspended a player for violating its drug policy. We were all surprised to find out that it was Phil Mickelson for taking estrogen…..


That was a terribly mean joke. But when you’re a perfect physical specimen like myself, you can be more judgmental than others.

6-NHL: Capitals @ Devils (Wednesday 7pm from Newark live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Panthers (Friday 7:30pm from Sunrise, FL live on Comcast SportsNet Plus), Panthers @ Capitals (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

The Alexander Ovechkin injury has caused a level of panic in the District of Columbia that hasn’t been seen since Bubba was informed the newest group of White House interns was entirely male.

And while we’re talking about Capital politics; Will Ferrell’s HBO DVD “You’re Welcome America” hits stores Tuesday; I think I might be purchasing it…..

5-Horse Racing: Breeders’ Cup Classic (Saturday 6:45pm from Santa Anita live on ESPN)

If the boys in this race (like Kentucky Derby champ Mine That Bird and would have been Triple Crown favorite Quality Road) lose to the girl horse (Zenyatta); they should be ashamed of themselves. I would NEVER be okay with losing a competition to a girl. Unless of course I was losing a costume contest to Kim Kardashian……


4-College Football: Maryland @ NC State (Saturday 1pm from Raleigh live on ESPN360); Navy @ Notre Dame (Saturday 2:30pm from South Bend live on NBC); Towson @ William & Mary (Saturday 1:30pm from Williamsburg, VA live on AM1570 WNST) Morgan State vs. Norfolk State (Saturday 4pm Hughes Stadium), LSU @ Alabama (Saturday 3:30pm from Tuscaloosa live on CBS); Ohio State @ Penn State (Saturday 3:30pm from State College live on ABC/ESPN2)

Does it really matter what the Terps do Saturday against the Wolfpack? No, not really at all. Will I be watching anyway? Actually, no. I am an usher in my cousin’s wedding. Will it be weird when from the back of the church you hear someone screaming “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, CHRIS?” just before the vows? Maybe, but I’m a fan, damnit.

And to all of you terrible human beings who call yourselves Fighting Irish fans, I can’t remember what happened the last time the Mids visited Notre Dame Stadium….

Go Midshipmen.

3-College Basketball: Maryland vs. Indiana University (Pennsylvania) (Tuesday 8pm Comcast Center); UMBC vs. Frostburg State (Sunday 4:30pm RAC Arena); Loyola vs. Adelphi (Friday 7pm Reitz Arena)-all games are exhibitions. “Without Bias” premiere (Tuesday 8pm ESPN)

Indiana University (Pennsylvania) is the worst name in the history of schools. Even worse than Duke University. Seriously.

It really doesn’t matter, because Daddy’s return is as excited as I’ve been for an event in College Park since my first “CEO’s and Corporate Hoes” Party at the Sigma Nu House…..


2-Strikeforce: Fedor Emelianenko vs. Brett Rogers (Saturday 8pm from Chicago live on CBS)

Umm….this guy……


against this guy?…..

Yes please.

1-Ravens @ Bengals (Sunday 1pm from Cincinnati live on CBS), Antonio Freeman 1st Annual Charm City Literacy Challenge Weekend (Saturday 6:30pm Reginald F. Lewis Museum)

I don’t know who “ay52” is, but if she’s rooting for the Ravens-I’m rooting for her…..

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..