Top 10 Baseball Distractions

November 23, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: NCAA Tournament Soccer Sweet 16: Maryland @ Harvard (Sunday 1pm from Boston); Women’s College Basketball: Maryland vs. Samford (Tuesday 7pm Comcast Center), Maryland vs. Howard (Friday 7pm Comcast Center), Maryland vs. Drexel (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center), Towson @ UMBC (Tuesday 7pm Towson Center), College Football-NCAA Tournament 2nd Round: Johns Hopkins @ Thomas More (Saturday 12pm from Crestview Hills, KY)

10-Charm City Devils (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Mike Doughty (Wednesday 6:30pm Recher Theatre), Jimmie’s Chicken Shack (Saturday 8pm 8×10 Club), SR-71 (Wednesday 7pm Bourbon Street)

If Thanksgiving is supposed to be a time spent with family, this is a hell of a group of shows to stroll through this week. I mean, consider Jimi Haha as the patriarch of the family…….

Mitch Allan as the cousin who went crazy for a while there; but has since settled down a bit. While you know he’s doing better for himself living in California and writing tunes for Kris Allen-you can’t help but wish he’d come back a little bit more than just for Thanksgiving and Passover. Mostly because you miss the old Mitch, you know-the one whose song you still scream along to every time you hear it on the radio….

…..and whose girlfriend you can’t help but stare at during Thanksgiving dinner……


John Allen is the cousin that never stopped partying, and you hope never does. When dinner is served at 3pm Thursday, he’ll probably still be asleep. Don’t bother waking him up. He’ll be fine…..

And Mike Doughty is your dad’s cousin who you’ve only really met once or twice, and seemed kinda weird. But when you started talking with him, you realized he’s lived the lives of about 8 men, yet doesn’t feel the need to preach about the things he’s seen….

9-Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade (Thursday 9am from New York live on NBC)

Dude, If you’re not down with the Macy’s parade-I don’t think I want to be your friend. I mean, on a day when I am preparing to shove about 12 pounds of turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and sweet potato pie down my gullet; I appreciate seeing some combination of these images……


….WITHOUT fearing that I am suffering some sort of tryptophan-related hallucination.

8-NBA: Wizards vs. 76ers (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Wizards @ Heat (Friday 7pm from Miami live on Comcast SportsNet and ESPN), Wizards vs. Bobcats (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBATV)

I will have to be honest here. I have followed the NBA like-not at all-this season. But a story DID catch my attention over the weekend. With the many common threads between pro hoops and hip-hop music; I figured at some point there would be a high-profile issue between a Rap Superstar and a major name in the world of Basketball. And while I’m not surprised that THIS man was a part of it……


I am a BIT surprised that THIS was his target……

And while Albert contends there was no such confrontation at a Jimmy Kimmel Live taping, something tells me that men who have been roughed up by Curtis Jackson have probably said that before.

7-NHL: Sabres @ Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Canadiens (Saturday 7pm from Montreal live on Comcast SportsNet Plus and NHL Network), Capitals @ Hurricanes (Monday 7pm from Raleigh live on Comcast SportsNet)

I’m still not a Caps fan. In fact, no matter what Drew Forrester wants me to do-I’m going to root for the Flyers this season. That being said, THIS gives me WAY more respect for Matt Bradley than I expected……


6-Tennis: Barclays ATP World Tour Finals (Tuesday-Saturday 7:30am & 2pm live on Tennis Channel; Sunday-FINALS-8am live on ESPN2. All matches from London)

Look-If Andy hadn’t pulled out with an injury, this probably would have been my Number 1…..

That being said; I get the feeling Andy has better things to do with his time……


5-College Football: Boston College @ Maryland (Saturday 3:30pm from Byrd Stadium live on ESPNU), Navy @ Hawaii (Saturday 10:30pm from Honolulu live on ESPNU), Texas @ Texas A&M (Thursday 8pm from College Station live on ESPN), Alabama @ Auburn (Friday 2:30pm CBS), Pitt @ West Virginia (Friday 7pm from Morgantown live on ESPN2), Florida State @ Florida (Saturday 3:30pm from Gainesville live on CBS)

Plus there’s Ole Miss-Mississippi State in the Egg Bowl. And with no offense no Michael Oher, my man Jason Cook, the late Tony Fein, or ANYONE who has ever won the Egg Bowl Trophy; does THIS really fire you up to go out and win a football game???


You want a trophy? How bout the Fremont Cannon-given annually to the winner of Nevada/UNLV?


Think maybe you might be fired up to play for THAT? I think I could beat UNLV on my own if I knew that was the prize. Damn that’s cool!

4-College Basketball: EA Sports Maui Invitational-Maryland vs. Cincinnati (Tuesday 7pm from Maui live on ESPN; 3rd round Wednesday. Other teams in event: Arizona, Gonzaga, Wisconsin, Colorado, Chaminade, Vanderbilt; games will also air on ESPN360 as well); Towson @ Navy (Tuesday 7pm Alumni Hall); Coppin State @ UMBC (Tuesday 7:30pm from RAC Arena live on MASN)

Boy-no real storylines for the Terrapins in their game against Cincy, huh? What’s that??? OH, RIGHT!!!!!


Of course, this presents a fundamental problem for me. You see, I went to Maryland-while my future wife (Laura Simanski) goes to Cincinnati…….


So, while I will be rooting like crazy for the Terps to destroy the Bearcats, I will also be willing to lend a comforting shoulder for my future bride to cry on after. But I’m an old fashioned romantic type like that….

3-WWE Raw (Monday 8:15pm from 1st Mariner Arena live on USA Network)

There is a storied history between World Wrestling Entertainment and Charm City. For example, The Fabulous Moolah won her first ever world title in Baltimore…..


Ron Simmons defeated Big Van Vader in Baltimore to become the first ever African-American World Champion in pro wrestling history…..

And of course the time Vince McMahon beat the hell our of his daughter Stephanie McMahon with a lead pipe at No Mercy back in 2003. Wait. What????

2-Turkey Bowl: Calvert Hall vs. Loyola (Thursday 10am from M&T Bank Stadium live on ABC 2); High School Football State Semifinals: Hereford vs. Linganore (Friday 7pm from Oakdale High), Eastern Tech vs. Douglass-PG (Friday 7pm from CCBC-Essex), Allegany @ Joppatowne (Friday 7pm), Dunbar @ Catoctin (Friday 7pm)

And as always; if you’re headed to see the Cardinals and Dons-or ANY of the high school playoff games this week; Please Remember…..


1-Steelers @ Ravens (Sunday 8:20pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on NBC), Thanksgiving Football: Packers @ Lions (Thursday 12:30pm from Detroit live on FOX), Raiders @ Cowboys (Thursday 4:15pm from Dallas live on CBS), Giants @ Broncos (Thursday 8:30pm from Denver live on NFL Network)

I know Thanksgiving football stinks, but what else are you gonna watch, Vh1 Tough Love 2???


And as the official WNST Ravens analyst, I’d like to offer this analysis.

F*ck the Steelers.


Flexing my mic muscles since 1983……