Top 10 Baseball Distractions

December 06, 2009 | Glenn Clark

This is for the week starting Tuesday, December 8 and going through Monday, December 14. I usually post this on Monday night, but the Maryland-Villanova game tonight will force me to delay the 15-7-0 until Monday. Sorry.

Honorable Mention:
Boxing-Juan Diaz vs. Paulie Malignaggi
(Saturday 10:15pm from Chicago live on HBO), Baltimore Blast @ Monterrey La Raza (Sunday 6:05pm streamed live on, “Public Enemies” released on DVD (Tuesday),  “Remembering Abe” public memorial to Abe Pollin (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

10-Trans-Siberian Orchestra (Thursday 7:30pm First Mariner Arena; Wednesday 4pm & 8pm Verizon Center), Weezer (Wednesday 7pm Patriot Center), Pietasters (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club), Dashboard Confessional (Sunday 7pm Ottobar), Chris Brown (Friday 7pm Sonar)

I don’t care if they’re the poster-people for the entire emo movement; when Dashboard Confessional was good, they were REALLY good. Like back when they were collaborating with Spider-Man…..

And if you can forgive him for his other transgressions (sorry Rihanna), Chris Brown is actually really good too…..

Weezer has fallen off in recent years-yes; but every time I hear “Buddy Holly” I can’t help but long for the days when music videos mattered……

If you’ve never seen the Pietasters and live in this area, shame on you……

And above all else, Christmas can’t happen in my house without seeing TSO first…..

9-NBA: Celtics @ Wizards (Thursday 8pm from Verizon Center live on TNT), Pacers @ Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Indianapolis live on Comcast SportsNet), Wizards @ Clippers (Monday 10:30pm from Los Angeles live on Comcast SportsNet)

Upon hearing that Ron Artest admitted to drinking before and at halftime of games-a number of players throughout the league were heard commenting things like “that’s shameful” and “I really hope Ron doesn’t represent the rest of us.” But when the LA Clippers heard about Ron Artest’s admission, they suddenly had a new idea of how to make their existence less miserable.

And congratulations to the New Jersey Nets for finally getting off the snide. To celebrate, they were invited to hang out with some new TV stars…..

…….they declined.

8-“Invictus” Opens in Theaters (Friday)

Matt Damon. Morgan Freeman. Clint Eastwood. Nelson Mandela. Rugby. Tell me which part of this is supposed to be bad??????

Of course, if I was making a movie about South Africa, I’m reasonably certain 90% of it would be about this person…..


7-NHL: Capitals @ Sabres (Wednesday 7pm from Buffalo live on Comcast SportsNet), Hurricanes @ Capitals (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Maple Leafs (Saturday 7pm from Toronto live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS)

That’s right, the Caps play all of the teams from traditional hockey cities this week. Toronto, Buffalo, and RALEIGH?

Since we’re talking about hockey, I’m sure you’re well aware that I recently decided I was going to be a HUGE fan of the Philadelphia Flyers, correct? I might have to re-consider. Apparently at last year’s trade deadline, they traded RW Scottie Upshall to the Phoenix Coyotes. Why in the world would this bother me? Well, have you ever heard of Melanie Collins of Big Ten Network and NBA TV fame???? Scottie Upshall has.


You don’t trade that. Ever.

6-WWE TLC (Sunday 8pm from San Antonio live on Pay-Per-View)

An entire night of matches that involve tables, ladders and chairs? Ummm…..yes please.

5-UFC 107: Diego Sanchez vs. BJ Penn (Saturday 10pm from Memphis live on Pay-Per-View)

What the hell is going on in the world of Mixed Martial Arts? Why is every fighter and their brother coming down with a damn staff infection? Gabriel Gonzaga and Antonio Nogueira are going to miss fights due to staph infections ON TOP of the staph infection suffered by Jason “Mayhem” Miller…….which is by far and away one of the ugliest injuries I have ever seen. If you have an uneasy stomach…..maybe look somewhere else…..

And look somewhere else fairly quickly…….


Lord. And while poking around at disgusting pictures of MMA-related staph infections, I found one of Kevin Randleman that makes Mayhem’s look pretty damn tame…..


I have to go vomit now…..

4-College Basketball: Eastern Kentucky @ Maryland (Saturday 4:30pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Maryland Women @ Towson (Thursday 7pm Towson Center), George Washington @ Towson (Saturday 4pm Towson Center), UMBC @ Penn State (Tuesday 6:30pm from State College, PA live on Big Ten Network), Rider @ UMBC (Saturday 7pm RAC Arena), Loyola @ Coppin State (Wednesday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex), Morgan State @ Manhattan (Saturday 4pm Hill Field House)

Let’s go Retrievers!!!!!!!!


(Edit from GMC: They really do. Not kidding. This is a school where they truly believe this to be a hip, happening guy……)


3-Lions @ Ravens (Sunday 1pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on CBS)

Usually, a Ravens home game would be the only thing that even showed up on the radar screen here in Charm City. Unfortunately, the Ravens are playing Detroit. And while things haven’t been THAT bad for the Lions in 2009 (they’ve won more games than they did in ’08 for sure!), I’d just like to offer this list of people who have had better years in ’09 than the Lions have…..


2-BCF Tennis Challenge (Wednesday 7pm 1st Mariner Arena)

If you’re not a tennis fan I’m not sure I want to have anything to do with you. Tennis is awesome, Pam Shriver is awesome, John McEnroe is awesome, Melanie Oudin is awesome, and Frosted Mini Wheats are awesome. Does the last thing have anything to do with the first 4? No. Does it matter? Of course not.

Somewhere else in tennis, Maria Sharapova and Gisela Dulko have been doing something. Does it matter what? Of course not.


1-College Football: Army/Navy Game (Saturday 2:30pm from Philadelphia live on CBS), Heisman Trophy Presentation (Saturday 8pm from New York live on ESPN), Home Depot ESPNU College Football Awards (Thursday 7pm from Orlando live on ESPN)

I don’t mean to play spoiler, but I was given some information about the Heisman Trophy ceremony. This player is NOT going to win…..


And as I like to do before EVERY big Navy game, here’s this…..

Go Navy. Beat Army.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..