Top 10 Baseball Distractions

December 28, 2009 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Harlem Globetrotters (Tuesday 7pm Patriot Center, Wednesday 7pm Verizon Center), Baltimore Blast @ Milwaukee Wave (Thursday 3pm streamed live on; NBA: Thunder @ Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Spurs @ Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

10-Little Feat (Thursday 8pm Recher Theatre), The Roots (Tuesday & Wednesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings (Thursday 9pm 9:30 Club), Wale (Friday 8pm & 11:30pm 9:30 Club), Third Eye Blind (Thursday 8:30pm DC Grand Hyatt), Jimmie’s Chicken Shack (Thursday 9pm Sheraton Inner Harbor)

Oh my God how can I attend all of these events?!?!?!? I’m pretty sure I came out of the womb singing this tune…..

I’m sure they’re making great money, but has there ever been a bigger waste than partnering these guys with Jimmy freaking Fallon???

Not familiar with this gal? You should be……

This rapper is the only good thing to have ever come out of the District of Columbia…..

This band was one of the only reasons why I was ever able to get girls in high school…..

And if I have to explain this to you, get out……

9-Women’s College Basketball: UNC-Wilmington @ Maryland (Tuesday 7pm Comcast Center), St. Joseph’s @ Maryland (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center)

Maryland/UNC-Wilmington, huh? I feel like these teams have played before…….

8-UFC 108: Rashad Evans vs. Thiago Silva (Saturday 10pm from Las Vegas live on Pay-Per-View)

According to my friends at Bloody Elbow, Dana White told the Las Vegas Sun that he thinks the UFC “will be the biggest sport in the world by 2020.

Apparently Dana White has never heard of Marshmallow Blaster wars……


7-WWE: Bret Hart scheduled to host Monday Night RAW (Monday 9pm from Dayton, Ohio live on USA Network), TNA Wrestling: Hulk Hogan debuts on TNA iMPACT! (Monday 8pm from Orlando live on SpikeTV)

First of all, what decade is this????

Second-I’m excited about the return of “The Hit Man”, but this might be a bit awkward, huh?

AND, I don’t care how old he is-I will NEVER not be excited to see this man…..


6-PBR Built Ford Tough Series (Saturday 8pm, Sunday 2pm 1st Mariner Arena live on VERSUS)

As someone who-I’m not kidding about this-has attended a Pro Bull Riders event before, I’m excited to see the PBR come back to town. You see, it’s like NASCAR-but MUCH shorter, much less boring, and with WAAAY more wrecks. Enjoy…..

5-Ports America New Year’s Eve Spectacular (Thursday 7pm Inner Harbor)

When was the first time I ever saw fireworks? Well, what does the name Phoebe Cates mean to you????


4-College Basketball: William & Mary @ Maryland (Wednesday 7:30pm from Comcast Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Maryland @ UNC-Greensboro (Sunday 1pm from Greensboro live on Comcast SportsNet), Bowling Green @ Towson (Wednesday 7pm Towson Center), Rider @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm Reitz Arena), Siena @ Loyola (Monday 7pm Reitz Arena), Coppin State @ Navy (Wednesday 7pm Alumni Hall)

A lot of people didn’t think the Terps were particularly impressive in their win Sunday over Florida Atlantic. They may be right. But you know who IS impressive? Florida Atlantic alum Mary Carey……


3-Ravens @ Raiders (Sunday 4:15pm from Oakland live on CBS)

They CAN’T lose to these idiots, right???


2-Bridgestone NHL Winter Classic: Flyers @ Bruins (Friday 1pm from Fenway Park live on NBC), NHL: Capitals @ Sharks (Wednesday 10pm from San Jose live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Kings (Saturday 4pm from Los Angeles live on Comcast SportsNet)

Look, Boston stinks. It’s just terrible. I don’t like anything about it. If I had my way, Fenway Park would implode in the middle of a Red Sox-Yankees game. Or with the entire population of Beantown gathered for some sort of meeting. But THIS does look pretty cool…..


1-College Football-Texas Bowl: Navy vs. Missouri (Thursday 3:30pm from Houston live on ESPN), EagleBank Bowl: Temple vs. UCLA (Tuesday 4:30pm from RFK Stadium live on ESPN), Champs Sports Bowl: Miami vs. Wisconsin (Tuesday 8pm from Orlando live on ESPN), Roady’s Humanitarian Bowl: Bowling Green vs. Idaho (Wednesday 4:30pm from Boise live on ESPN), Pacific Life Holiday Bowl: Arizona vs. Nebraska (Wednesday 8pm from San Diego live on ESPN), Bell Helicopter Armed Forces Bowl: Houston vs. Air Force (Thursday 12pm from Fort Worth live on ESPN), Brut Sun Bowl: Oklahoma vs. Stanford (Thursday 2pm from El Paso live on CBS), Minnesota vs. Iowa State (Thursday 6pm from Tempe, AZ live on NFL Network), Chick-Fil-A Bowl: Virginia Tech vs. Tennessee (Thursday 7:30pm from Atlanta live on ESPN), Outback Bowl: Northwestern vs. Auburn (Friday 11am from Tampa Bay live on ESPN), Capital One Bowl: Penn State vs. LSU (Friday 1pm from Orlando live on ABC), Konica Minolta Gator Bowl: West Virginia vs. Florida State (Friday 1pm from Jacksonville live on CBS), Rose Bowl: Oregon vs. Ohio State (Friday 4:30pm from Pasadena, CA live on ABC), Allstate Sugar Bowl: Florida vs. Cincinnati (Friday 8:30pm from New Orleans live on FOX), International Bowl: South Florida vs. Northern Illinois (Saturday 12pm from Toronto live on ESPN2), AT&T Cotton Bowl: Oklahoma State vs. Ole Miss (Saturday 2pm from Dallas live on FOX), Bowl: South Carolina vs. UConn (Saturday 2pm from Birmingham live on ESPN), AutoZone Liberty Bowl: Arkansas vs. East Carolina (Saturday 5:30pm from Memphis live on ESPN), Valero Alamo Bowl: Michigan State vs. Texas Tech (Saturday 9pm from San Antonio live on ESPN), Tostitos Fiesta Bowl: Boise State vs. TCU (Monday 8pm from Glendale, AZ live on FOX)

And you say there are too many bowl games! Psh…….

Speaking of which, Tennessee and Virginia Tech are playing in what is BY FAR the best bowl game of them all.

Why you ask?

Think of what might me readily available at a game with that name……


Also, I remember Tennessee playing in this game a few years back….Casey Clausen would probably remember it too if not for a certain fella named EJ Henderson……

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…….