Top 10 Baseball Distractions

January 11, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: “The Book of Eli” opens in theaters (Friday); Women’s College Basketball: Boston College @ Maryland (Thursday 7pm Comcast Center), Maryland @ North Carolina (Sunday 5:30pm from Chapel Hill, NC live on Comcast SportsNet); PBA Earl Anthony Memorial Classic (Sunday 1pm from Dublin, CA live on ESPN)

10-Timbaland (Sunday 7pm Rams Head Live), Vanilla Ice (Friday 9pm Mex Baltimore-meet and greet only), Colin Mochrie & Brad Sherwood (Saturday 8pm Lyric Opera House), Julian Casablancas (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), O.A.R. “Rain or Shine” CD out in stores (Tuesday)

I have NO IDEA what to say about ANY of this. VANILLA ICE STILL EXISTS? Is anyone IN THE WORLD going to drive to Power Plant Live Friday night for the chance to meet Rob Van Winkle??? Seriously…..

I’d go see Timbaland. He kicks ass. But not quite as much as he used to with that Magoo fella…..

Of course, the star of this is “Rain or Shine”, which I might listen to 1,000 times during our bus trip to Indy this weekend. If you’re not an O.A.R. fan, I can only pray you’ve just never been introduced. Allow me….

I’m sorry, I want to move on…..but Vanilla Ice?!?!?!?!?!? If he doesn’t perform THIS, I don’t want to have anything to do with him…..

9-Wrestling: TNA “Genesis” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

I guess this is suddenly interesting because TNA now has like every former WWE/WCW/ECW wrestler of all time ever. Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, X-Pac, Booker T, Bobby Lashley, Jeff Hardy, The Nasty Boys, Val Venis, Kurt Angle, Jeff Jarrett, Stevie Richards, Rhyno, Mick Foley, Raven, Matt Morgan, Scott Steiner, Sting, Ric Flair, Tazz, The Dudley Boyz and the Brooklyn Brawler!

(Editor’s note: Apparently they DON’T have the Brooklyn Brawler. If they wanted me to watch, they would.)

More importantly, they have Lacey Von Erich-who is the daughter of Kerry Von Erich. I only care about the first person…..


8-Baltimore Blast @ Monterrey La Raza (Sunday 6:05pm from Monterrey streamed live at; 2010 MLS SuperDraft (Thursday 2pm from Philadelphia live on ESPN2)

If the Philadelphia Union don’t pick Ndamukong Suh with the first pick in the Draft, they’re OUT OF THEIR MINDS!

By the way, I’ve been to Monterrey once, and I had something that was so glorious, I believe angels were singing when I was eating. Did it cause me to spend the better part of 3 hours on the toilet later that night? Yes, yes it did. Did it bother me? No, no it didn’t. Do I know where the place was? No, no I don’t. Do I know what the tacos looked like? Ummm…..hell yes.


7-PGA Tour Sony Open (Thursday-Sunday 7pm from Honolulu live on Golf Channel)

Boy, I could sit here and talk about the guys who are playing in this Tournament, but I’d like it if someone actually read this blog. So instead I’ll discuss…….Tiger whores!!!!

I was hoping to post a picture of my favorite Tiger whore Holly Sampson, but apparently none of them involve her wearing any clothes. I have no problem with that, it just doesn’t work for the format. You know how it goes.

So how bout Jaimee Grubbs? You know, the gal that posed for Maxim recently???


And good luck to the guys who are playing golf this weekend. Not so much good luck in the tournament-but more, good luck getting recognized by anyone in the world NOT named Drew Forrester.

6-NBA: Pistons @ Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Wizards @ Hawks (Wednesday 7pm from Atlanta live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Wizards @ Bulls (Friday 8pm from Chicago live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Kings @ Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), TrailBlazers @ Wizards (Monday 1pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV)

Is there anyone dumber than DeShawn Stevenson?

Hey guy, ol’ “Agent Zero” ain’t exactly the most popular person in the world…..maybe just leaving that alone would have been a better decision.

But other than all of that, things have been great for the Wizards this season. I think they’re only a couple of players away. I mean, not from winning-they’re hopeless there-but from being so bad that I might actually have to watch.

In fact, I have a new Facebook fan that if the ‘Zards were to sign, I would legitimately go to a game……



5-NHL: Capitals @ Lightning (Tuesday 7:30pm from Tampa Bay live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Capitals @ Panthers (Wednesday 7:30pm from Sunrise, FL live on Comcast SportsNet), Maple Leafs @ Capitals (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Flyers @ Capitals (Sunday 3pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

Okay, I’ve been wanting to include some pictures of Ashley Greene from Twilight in this thing for weeks, out of fear that there may be some of you that haven’t seen pictures of Ashley Greene from Twilight. I have no way to tie it into anything the Caps are doing, but I just don’t think that will matter after I show you this picture of what she’ll be wearing in the Super Bowl commercial she just shot for SoBe…..


Beats the hell out of the spokesperson they had last year. What was his name? Ray Lewis?

4-Tennis: Australian Open (Sunday 7pm, Monday 3am & 9pm from Melbourne, AUS live on ESPN2)

If I were in Melbourne Monday, I would be faced with a tough issue. Spend the day following A-Rod around the city….


or trying to figure out where Keith Urban lives…………..?

3-AMA Arena Supercross (Friday & Saturday 7:30pm, Sunday 10am 1st Mariner Arena)

I legitimately had NO IDEA what AMA was when I saw this was coming up. I was pretty certain that it couldn’t be the American Medical Association, but I certainly wasn’t completely sure.

When I figured out it had something to do with motorcycles, I was praying I would find a video to embed of the “Sexercise Bike” from MTV’s Jackass. While I was looking for it-I DID stumble across a trailer for “The A-Team”, so that’s just as good.

2-College Basketball: Maryland @ Wake Forest (Tuesday 8pm from Winston-Salem, NC live on Raycom-WNUV 54 locally), Maryland @ Boston College (Saturday 4pm from Chestnut Hill, MA live on Raycom-WNUV 54 locally); Drexel @ Towson (Wednesday 7pm Towson Center), Towson @ Delaware (Saturday 12pm from Newark, DE live on Comcast Network); Hartford @ UMBC (Thursday 7pm RAC Arena), UMBC @ Stony Brook (Monday 5pm from Stony Brook, NY live on MASN); Marist @ Loyola (Friday 7pm from Reitz Arena live on ESPNU); Morgan State @ South Carolina St. (Saturday 7pm from Orangeburg, SC live on ESPN2)

After kicking the Patriots’ ass, a lot of people might think I had developed some compassion for the city of Boston.

I did not.

Boston sucks. New England sucks. Boston College…..and ESPECIALLY their effing T-shirts suck.



Want to be my new best friend? Bring one of those shirts by this week during “The Comcast Morning Show” so I can burn it.

1-NFL Playoffs-Divisional Round: Ravens @ Colts (Saturday 8:15pm from Indianapolis live on CBS), Cardinals @ Saints (Saturday 4:30pm from New Orleans live on FOX), Cowboys @ Vikings (Sunday 1pm from Minneapolis live on FOX), Jets @ Chargers (Sunday 4:40pm from San Diego live on CBS)

Look, I want Ray Lewis and company to go into LucasOil Stadium and kick Peyton Manning’s ass more than ANYONE IN THE WORLD. But whatever you think, please don’t be as stupid as the guy that Deadspin found….

(Editor’s note: If you’re this person-or you know him-please email me at

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..