Top 10 Baseball Distractions

January 25, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable MentionNHL: Capitals @ Islanders (Tuesday 7pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Ducks @ Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet), Panthers @ Capitals (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Lightning @ Capitals (Sunday 3pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); College Lacrosse Preseason Scrimmage: UMBC @ Navy (Saturday 10am from Annapolis); Soccer: Milwaukee Wave @ Baltimore Blast (Saturday 7:35pm from 1st Mariner Arena streamed live on

10-Wale (Wednesday 9pm Sonar), Martina McBride & Trace Adkins (Sunday 7:30pm Patriot Center), Owl City (Friday 6:30pm Rams Head Live), Theory of a Deadman (Saturday 7:30pm Bourbon Street), Bobby Lee (Friday-Sunday DC Improv), Hope for Haiti Now available on CD (Tuesday), Michael Jackson: This Is It available on DVD & Blu-Ray (Tuesday), Maryland State Police Polar Bear Plunge (Saturday Sandy Point State Park), Vh1 Storytellers: John Mayer premieres (Thursday 8pm Vh1)

Once again, stuff all over the place this week.

First of all, if you didn’t like Wale before…

…you’re gonna have to start liking him soon, as Ravens RB Ray Rice makes a cameo in his upcoming video for “Pretty Girlz”


I probably won’t go see Martina McBride & Trace Adkins (nay, definitely); but I will admit that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with a “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”….

I don’t care for Owl City myself. But if you’d like to hear this song for the 1,000,001st time, I’d imagine they’ll be playing it…..

If your girlfriend thinks this song is a great description of her, maybe just make sure everything is cool at home BEFORE you say “Yeah, she kicks ass!”…

I thought this guy was pretty funny on MadTV…..

I really kinda dug this Jay-Z/Rihanna/Bono/The Edge collaboration on Friday night……

When I went to see “This Is It”, I really enjoyed the part of the show where MJ crooned some old Jackson 5 tunes. It made me sad knowing this could never happen again…..

If I looked more like Martin O’Malley, I’d probably be more likely to participate in the Plunge…..


But, I may actually come out to Sandy Point, just because I’m still a fan of Kelly Bell Band…..

And if you think less of me because I like John Mayer, you’re just too lame to admit that you’re a fan….

9-Ballroom Boxing (Friday 8pm Michael’s 8th Avenue)

I am going to be attending this event with Bob Haynie and Ray Bachman; looking forward to seeing Darnell “The Dingaling Man” Wilson. If you’re looking for us, we’ll be this gang….


8-Golf: PGA Tour Farmers Insurance Open (Thursday & Friday 3pm Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm CBS. All Golf from San Diego)

Finally, there are boobs back in golf besides the ones Tiger Woods has been chasing…..


Of course, I prefer Cori Rist’s (just not necessarily the rest of her)…..


7-NBA: Lakers @ Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Wizards @ Nets (Friday 8pm from East Rutherford, NJ live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Knicks @ Wizards (Saturday 8pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Celtics @ Wizards (Monday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

The most exciting week the ‘Zards could EVER ask for. They play the two defending champions in the C’s and Lakers-AND-there might be a pair of wins on the schedule with the Nets and Knicks.

I mean, if you lose to a team that previously lost by 50 points….to anyone…..shouldn’t you just be relegated out of the league???

And also, thanks to Yahoo! Sports’ “Balls Don’t Lie” for digging up THIS picture from the SI Vault, which is even better than the Manute Bol/Muggsy Bogues picture I found last week…..


6-NFL Pro Bowl (Sunday 7:30pm from Miami live on ESPN)

What a disaster of an idea it was to play the Pro Bowl before the Super Bowl. Instead of some combination of Peyton Manning/Tom Brady/Ben Roethlisberger/Phillip Rivers; the AFC is stuck with Matt Schaub, Vince Young and David freaking Gerrard at QB. I heard they were pretty close to adding this player to the roster…..


(You thought I had a Kyle Boller joke prepared there! Oh you of little faith…..)

Also, since Drew Forrester, Nestor Aparicio, Ray Bachman and I will be in South Florida at the time, I’m on call if the team needs another QB. Unfortunately, I probably throw the ball WAAAAY too much like Uncle Rico to be of help….

5-WWE Royal Rumble (Sunday 8pm from Atlanta live on Pay-Per-View)

I’ve always been a fan of the Royal Rumble. 30 dudes, 1 ring, 1 shot at going to Wrestlemania. It always works for me……

I’m also big fans of any event that involves Michelle McCool……


4-Strikeforce Miami (Saturday 10pm from Sunrise, FL live on Showtime)

Is there ANY reason for me to want to watch a 47 year old football player fight???


Of course not. Will I do it anyway? Yes, yes of course I will. Also on the card? A gal who could kick my ass with her fingertips….

And a pro wrestling/MMA badass that is near the level of Samuel L. Jackson…….

3-College Basketball: Miami @ Maryland (Tuesday 7pm from Comcast Center live on ESPNU), Maryland @ Clemson (Sunday 5:30pm from Clemson, SC live on Comcast SportsNet locally/Fox Sports Net nationally); Towson @ UNC Wilmington (Saturday 6pm live on MASN); Binghamton @ UMBC (Wednesday 7pm RAC Arena); Fairfield @ Loyola (Thursday 7pm Reitz Arena), Niagara @ Loyola (Sunday 3pm Reitz Arena)

For the record, I will be rooting like CRAZY for the Terps to kick some Tigers ass on Sunday night. BUT…..I want to be the first to point out that I am not fully against everything Clemson University-related……


2-College Football: Under Armour Senior Bowl (Game Saturday 3pm; Practice Tuesday-Thursday 9:30am & 1:45pm, Friday 9:30 & 10:30am. All football from Mobile, AL live on NFL Network)

Ready for some NFL Draft porn????


1-Tennis: Australian Open (Tuesday 3:30am & 9pm live on ESPN2, 7pm live on Tennis Channel; Wednesday 3:30am & 9:30pm live on ESPN2, 7pm live on Tennis Channel; Thursday 3:30am live on ESPN2, 11pm live on Tennis Channel-Women’s Doubles Final; Friday 3:30am live on ESPN2; Saturday 3:30am live on ESPN2-Women’s Final, 5:30am live on Tennis Channel-Men’s Doubles Final; Sunday 12am live on Tennis Channel-Mixed Doubles Final, 3:30am live on ESPN2-Men’s Final. All of this from Melbourne, AUS)

Who do you think has been more of a tease to me in my life? My high school girlfriend Kristen, or Andy Roddick. I’ll give you a hint. The one who looks better with their shirt off…….


I know Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Andy Murray, Novak Djokovic and Nikolay Davydenko are still in the Draw, but this is as good a chance as A-Rod has had in a while.

Please don’t ruin this for me.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..