Top 10 Baseball Distractions

February 08, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable MentionTennis: SAP Open (Semifinals Saturday, Final Sunday-airing Tape-Delayed Monday & Following Tuesday 8pm from San Jose on Comcast SportsNet); Bowling: PBA USBC Masters (Sunday 3pm from Reno live on ESPN); Women’s College Basketball: Clemson @ Maryland (Sunday 2pm Comcast Center)

Editor’s Note-I am not including High School Basketball games this week because I am not certain any high schools will be open this week.

10. Furthur feat. Phil Lesh and Bob Weir (Saturday 7pm Patriot Center), Trey Anastasio (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Umphrey’s McGee (Sunday 7:30pm Rams Head Live), Grounduation Bob Marley Tribute (Friday 7pm Recher Theatre)

What the hell? Is this like an early 4-20 celebration or something?!? If you notice that your local Royal Farms is completely sold out of Doritos, you have your explanation. I’m not sure there’s enough Ready-Clean to make sure everyone in the Old Line State keeps their jobs for another week.

I won’t be making it out to any of these games myself, but I will be partaking in my generation’s greatest addition to pot culture….Half Baked….

9. Soccer: Philadelphia KiXX @ Baltimore Blast (Friday 7:35pm from 1st Mariner Arena streamed live on

Do you REALLY think that the only reason I’m including a Blast game on my list is because I discovered a Baltimore Blast cheerleaders MySpace page and can now post more pictures of the gals here on the blog? That’s crazy! This is a big game! The Blast have been struggling recently, and they need a win. The KiXX have been one of the Blast’s biggest rivals throughout their histor……

You know what, here’s the damn picture. I’m sorry I mislead you…


8. TNA “Against All Odds” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

I’ve been really impressed by TNA recently. In fact, I think they’ve done a hell of a job of figuring how to do EXACTLY what doomed WCW. Sign a bunch of guys that no one was really interested in watching that much anymore, stunt the growth of your own talent, and let Hulk Hogan make all the decisions for your company. I mean, name one thing Hulk Hogan has touched that wasn’t a tremendous success….


Okay, that’s not fair-because at least they produced something of value…..


7. NHL: Capitals @ Canadiens (Wednesday 7:30pm from Montreal live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Senators (Thursday 7pm from Ottawa live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Blues (Saturday 8pm from St. Louis live on Comcast SportsNet)

The Caps come into the week having won 14 games in a row. I haven’t even showered 14 days in a row.

Anyway, with the Capitals heading to Canada, I’m reminded that Canadians are weird. Except Michael Buble, he kicks ASS!

Oh, he’s actually pretty good at music too….

6. Golf: PGA AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Pebble Beach, CA); Champions Tour ACE Group Classic (Friday & Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm live on Golf Channel)

I guess Pebble Beach is supposed to be cool because Bill Murray goes there and does some sort of wacky hijinks….

I’m sure that would be awesome, but it appears to me as though he’s still playing golf, so I don’t think I’d be interested. But if he’s doing something besides golf, I’m all in…..

And what golf post would be complete with a “Tiger Woods whore of the week” update. I’m started to understand why Loredana Jolie was always Tiger’s favorite…..


5. College Lacrosse: VMI @ Navy (Saturday 12pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium), Loyola @ UMBC scrimmage (Friday 12pm UMBC Stadium)

Speaking of an early 4:20 celebration, it’s the start of lacrosse season!!!

Syracuse is the preseason #1 this season, which probably has something to do with the fact that they won the NCAA Championship a season ago. It probably has nothing to do with Otto the Orange’s popularity in Karl Ravech’s office…

4. NASCAR: Daytona 500 (Sunday 1pm from Daytona live on FOX), Gatorade Duels (Thursday 2pm from Daytona live on SPEED), Nationwide Series Drive4COPD 300 (Saturday 1pm from Daytona live on ESPN2)

How do I say this without being considered a chauvinist? If you want me to watch a sport involving Danica Patrick, make it car WASHING, not car DRIVING.

Oh wait, was that chauvinist? Eh, I own it.

In the meantime, here’s a picture of Danica Patrick in a bikini. That’s not chauvinist, is it?


3. NBA All-Star Game (Sunday 8pm from Dallas live on TNT), All-Star Saturday Night (Saturday 8:30pm from Dallas live on TNT); Wizards @ Bobcats (Tuesday 7pm from Charlotte live on Comcast SportsNet)

You know what’s amazing about the Slam Dunk contest? The fact that THIS once happened and somehow did they not only NOT stop the contest and immediately re-name the thing after Amare Stoudemire and Steve Nash; but Stat actually DIDN’T EVEN WIN THE TITLE!!!

Look, I know this was 5 years ago, but seriously…..what in the hell are these kids ever going to do that it better than that?!?!?

2. Winter Olympics: Opening Ceremonies (Friday 7:30 NBC), Live Coverage (Saturday 2pm & 8pm on NBC, 3pm & 8pm on CNBC; Sunday 1pm & 7pm on NBC, 3pm on USA, 7:30pm on CNBC; Monday 1pm & 8pm on NBC, 5:30pm on MSNBC. All Olympic goodness from Vancouver.)

Because I always get the difficult assignments, here is a collection of some sexy athletes you’ll see during the Vancouver games, starting with Team USA skeleton (racer? skeletoner? I’m not sure where to go here…) Noelle Pikus-Pace….


How about skier Janette Hargin from Sweden???


OF COURSE there’s Gretchen Bleiler….


My personal favorite Sasha Cohen….


Kristi Leskinen….


And there’s no way we can leave out the great Johnny Weir…..


WAIT A SECOND! How did that get in there?!?!?

1. College Basketball: Virginia @ Maryland (Wednesday 7pm from Comcast Center live on ESPNU), Maryland @ Duke (Saturday 1pm from Durham, NC live on CBS); UNC-Wilmington @ Towson (Wednesday 7pm from Towson Center live on MASN), Georgia State @ Towson (Saturday 4pm Towson Center); UMBC @ Hartford (Thursday 7pm live on MASN), Albany @ UMBC (Saturday 7pm RAC Arena); St. Peter’s @ Loyola (Friday 7pm Reitz Arena), Loyola @ Iona (Sunday 2pm from New Rochelle, NY live on MAAC TV); Winston-Salem State @ Morgan State (Saturday 4pm Hill Field House), South Carolina State @ Morgan State (Monday 7pm from Hill Field House live on ESPNU); South Carolina State @ Coppin State (Saturday 4pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex), Winston-Salem State @ Coppin State (Monday 7:30pm Coppin State Physical Education Complex)

The ONLY good thing about a trip to Cameron Indoor Stadium is that we all know what will be available on the way…..


Bojangles : me what Stripper road beef : Alex Rodriguez. Except that while I go home to Chick-Fil-A, A-Rod used to go home to Cynthia Rodriguez….


And before I leave, here’s some thoughts on Sunday’s game from Peter Rosenberg (Language VERY NSFW. Unless of course you work for Coach K. In which case, get bent.)….

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..