Top 10 Baseball Distractions

March 15, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Boxing-Wladimir Klitschko vs. Eddie Chambers (Saturday 6pm from Dusseldorf, Germany streamed live at, Bowling: PBA Go RVing Match Play Championship (Sunday 1pm from Norwich, CT live on ESPN); Golf: PGA Tour Transitions Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel; Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on NBC. Every stroke from Tampa Bay), MISL: Baltimore Blast @ Philadelphia KiXX (Sunday 4:05pm from Philly streamed live at, AIFA: Fayetteville Guard @ Baltimore Mariners (Sunday 4pm 1st Mariner Arena), NCAA Women’s Basketball Tournament (Saturday-Monday from various locations live on ESPN/ESPN2/ESPNU/ESPN360)

10. Pietasters (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head Live), Charm City Devils (Friday 8pm Rams Head Live), Mat Kearney (Saturday 7pm Rams Head Live), Daughtry/Lifehouse/Cavo (Thursday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena), Mike Epps & Bruce Bruce (Saturday 8pm 1st Mariner Arena), Alkaline Trio (Tuesday 7pm Recher Theatre), O’Malley’s March (Saturday 8pm Recher Theatre), The Ataris (Tuesday 7pm Ottobar)

It’s not the most overwhelming lineup of music to come through town, but it does include some strong moments. Like when the Ataris channel Don Henley…..

Or when Chris Daughtry does….well….just about anything…..

Or when Alkaline Trio uses some naughty words that are clearly NSFW (unless of course you work at The Ottobar. In which case your 6 year old might well already be singing this song)…

9. TNA “Destination X” (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

You can say WHATEVER YOU WANT. Understand that I fully support the idea of competition in an industry. But I’m not buying into TNA as a legitimate threat to WWE. I AM however buying into TNA Knockout Velvet Sky as a legitimate threat to my pants feeling a bit tighter…..


8. NASCAR Food City 500 (Sunday 1pm from Bristol, TN live on FOX)

I’ve been to Bristol. Did you know that Bristol, Tennessee is known as “The Birthplace of Country Music”? Apparently Queens, New York finished just outside the Top 5 in voting.

And while I’m SOMEWHAT interested in The Birthplace of Country Music, I’d be much more interested in the Current place of Country Music star Kellie Pickler….


(Edit from GMC: I bet she has good hygiene.)

7. NBA: Wizards @ Nuggets (Tuesday 9pm from Denver live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Wizards @ Trailblazers (Friday 10pm from Portland live on Comcast SportsNet), Wizards @ Lakers (Sunday 9:30pm from Los Angeles live on Comcast SportsNet)

Wait, the ‘Zards are playing against Carmelo Anthony and Kobe Bryant this week? SOMEONE MIGHT ACTUALLY WATCH THEM!!!!

And….the reason none of you jerks let me know about there being a new version of NBA JAM coming out for Nintendo Wii was?????…….

6. NHL: Capitals @ Panthers (Tuesday 7:30pm from Sunrise, FL live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Hurricanes(Thursday 7pm from Raleigh live on Comcast SportsNet), Capitals @ Lightning (Saturday 7:30pm from Tampa Bay live on Comcast SportsNet)

After his most recent cheap shot and suspension, some Caps fans are starting to wonder if Alex Ovechkin is a “dirty” player. Hell, I care about as much about the Caps as I do the Tokyo Giants, yet even I wonder about the guy sometimes.

Of course, it’s hard to say someone like “The Great 8” is dirty, especially in comparison to others throughout sports history who were ABSOLUTELY dirty. For example, someone like Eddie Guerero…who was so dirty he untied his boot knowing Kurt Angle would go for “The Ankle Lock” at WrestleMania….

5. Tennis: ATP BNP Paribas Open (Tuesday-Saturday 3pm live on Tennis Channel, Sunday 3pm live on Comcast SportsNet locally/Fox Sports Net nationally. All tennis from Indian Wells, CA)

I don’t care WHY it happened. All I know is that for a brief moment this weekend, my life was more “awesome” than “awkward” again….

For the record- Andre Agassi >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Pete Sampras. Agassi OWNS.

4. College Lacrosse: Maryland @ UMBC (Saturday 12pm from UMBC Stadium live on WMAR 2 & ESPNU), Syracuse @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 8pm from Homewood Field live on ESPNU), Navy @ Towson (Tuesday 7pm Unitas Stadium), Virginia @ Towson (Sunday 12pm from Unitas Stadium live on WMAR 2 & ESPNU), Air Force @ Loyola (Saturday 1pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST & MASN), Holy Cross @ Navy (Saturday 12pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium), Stevens @ Stevenson (Wednesday 4pm Caves Athletic Complex)

I went to a handful of colleges during my career as “Guy Who Isn’t Ready to Figure Out What to do With His Life”, but Towson University wasn’t one of them. Essex Community College, UMBC, and of course the University of Maryland were all amongst them; but Towson wasn’t.

With that being said, there will be NO bigger fan of Tony Seaman and the Tigers….EVER….this weekend than your boy.

Virginia SUCKS. Virginia traffic sucks. Virginia students suck. Virginia laws suck (you can’t buy beer at liquor stores! WTF?!?)

In fact, the only thing about Virginia that doesn’t suck was that tune by Train….

And that’s only a technicality, because the “Hey Soul Sister” song by Train that everyone likes these days is freaking awful too.

3. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC Live (Sunday 9pm from Broomfield, CO live on VERSUS)

Look, I trust Dana White as much as any other MMA fan in the world, but hiring James Toney….


is ONLY a good idea if it is setting up for a future mixed fight/canoli eating competition against Roy Nelson….


….otherwise…..not a fan…..

2. St. Patrick’s Day (Wednesday)

Here’s what I see in my future….


I’m not Irish and I’m not going to pretend to be. I’m just going to pretend to be sober.

1. NCAA Basketball Tournament (Thursday-Sunday from multiple locations live on CBS); Maryland vs. Houston (Friday 9:40pm from Spokane, WA live on CBS), Morgan State vs. West Virginia (Friday 12:15pm from Buffalo live on CBS)

Is there a more beautiful sound than the sound CBS uses to show that a score update is coming on the bottom of the screen during March Madness??? I think not. Well, maybe this….

Or I guess Gus Johnson’s voice…..

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…..