Top 10 Baseball Distractions

March 22, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-Tennis: Sony Ericsson Open (Monday 7pm from Miami live on Tennis Channel); Golf: Tavistock Cup (Tuesday 12pm from Windermere, FL live on Golf Channel), PGA Arnold Palmer Invitational (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 2:30pm live on NBC); Bowling: PBA GEICO Mark Roth Plastic Ball Championship (Finals Sunday 2pm from West Babylon, NY live on ESPN); Womens’ College Basketball-WNIT: Maryland vs. Providence/ODU (Thursday 7pm Comcast Center), Women’s NCAA Tournament (Tuesday, Saturday & Sunday-coverage live on ESPN & ESPN2); MISL Playoffs: Baltimore Blast @ Monterrey La Raza Game 1 (Friday 7:35pm from Monterrey, MX streamed live on B2liveTV.com), Game 2 (Monday 7:35pm from 1st Mariner Arena streamed live on B2liveTV.com); AIFA: Richmond Raiders @ Baltimore Mariners (Sunday 4pm 1st Mariner Arena)

10. Alicia Keys (Wednesday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena, Thursday 7:30pm Verizon Center), Bon Jovi/Dashboard Confessional (Monday 7:30pm Verizon Center), Ben Folds (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live, Friday 8pm 9:30 Club), Mr. Greengenes (Friday 10pm Rams Head Live), Julian Casablancas (Sunday 8pm Rams Head Live), All Mighty Senators (Friday 7pm Recher Theatre), Him (Saturday 7pm Sonar Baltimore), Dan Band (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club)

So….your boy will be headed down to the Arena Wednesday night to see Alicia Keys. No truth (yet) to the rumor that there is already a restraining order in place. BUT….she’s DELIGHTFUL.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJXH3MUlrW4[/youtube]

Going to see Bon Jovi is a good idea….if this is 1992. Is this 1992? If it was, Bon Jovi would still REALLY be good….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrZHPOeOxQQ[/youtube]

Between Alicia Keys and Ben Folds coming to town this week, I’m starting to think maybe I should have never given up on piano lessons. I thought it would make me a nerd. Apparently I wasn’t familiar with EVERY.OTHER.SINGLE.THING.ABOUT.MYSELF.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34u_3Z9_LUw[/youtube]

And if you’re a fan of The Hangover, Wedding Crashers, or naughty language in general (and really, who ISN’T a fan of naughty language in general. I’m looking at you, father); maybe the Dan Band is for you. However, the Dan Band is very much NSFW. But what is anymore, really?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cIRiZsDObrU[/youtube]

9. NBA: Bobcats @ Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Wizards @ Pacers (Wednesday 7pm from Indianapolis live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Wizards @ Bobcats (Friday 7pm from Charlotte live on Comcast SportsNet), Jazz @ Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

I looked at the ‘Zards roster the other day. I’m reasonably certain I could have named more current Harlem Globetrotters than ‘Zards. Apparently Shaun Livingston AND his ACL play for them now, and he knows how to dunk the basketball….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9cFfySB6Do[/youtube]

You know who else knows how to dunk the basketball? James White….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pA4L-_Wic78[/youtube]

Frankly, I’m surprised the Wizards haven’t just signed him and decided to go AND1 style at this point. I mean, what the hell else are they doing???

8.  NHL: Penguins @ Capitals (Wednesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NHL Network), Capitals @ Hurricanes (Thursday 7pm from Raleigh live on Comcast SportsNet), Flames @ Capitals (Sunday 3pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet)

I truly didn’t think there could ever…..EVER….be anything about the Caps that I’d like….but G-III is apparently out to prove me wrong…..

caps

Also, I’m not sure if you noticed this over the weekend, but the NCAA Hockey Tournament had their own “Selection Sunday”, and are you aware of who is opening the Tournament against Michigan???

bemidji

Let’s go Beavers!!!

7. Maryland Spring Football Opens (Tuesday-1pm news conference from Gossett Team House streamed live at UMTerps.com)

You know which Terps player I’m most looking forward to following during Spring ball?

Josh Portis.

(Edit from GMC: In all seriousness, Ralph Friedgen should REALLY consider naming an award for Spring performance after the former Florida transfer. I’m STILL convinced he’s going to break out at some point.)

Meanwhile, the biggest college football-related story of the spring has something to do with Lane Kiffin beating Natalie Gulbis in Esquire’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” voting. It doesn’t matter who wins that matchup really; as there is NO CHANCE the Cricket team from Panama doesn’t win the whole thing…..

panama

6. NFL Annual Spring Meetings (Tuesday & Wednesday from Orlando coverage at WNST.net & live on NFL Network)

Apparently the overtime rules are the hottest topic this year in the land of Walt Disney. Well, whose brackets are most busted are probably the HOTTEST topic, but the overtime thing is the hottest football-related topic. Oh, and the whole CBA thing. But who really cares about that, right?

And while we’re on the topic of Orlando, let’s just go ahead and get this out of the way. This is the final kiss from the Disney World episode of Boy Meets World. Every girl my age thought this scene was about the kiss…but every dude my age knew DAMN WELL that this scene was about Topanga’s dress.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A0XDFD2fDjk[/youtube]

Every sex-related lesson I received as a youngster was a direct result of something Topanga wore.

5. College Lacrosse: Maryland @ North Carolina (Saturday 2pm from Chapel Hill, NC live on ESPNU); Johns Hopkins @ Virginia (Saturday 12pm from Charlottesville, VA live on ESPN2); Towson @ Loyola (Saturday 12pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST & WMAR2); Roanoke @ Stevenson (Saturday 1pm Caves Athletic Complex)

Unlike when the schools met in College Park for a hoops game a blizzard ago, the Terrapins and Tar Heels are actually playing a game that is MEANINGFUL for both schools. With that in mind, here are some of my favorite Maryland-UNC memories….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBJFBaOmmyA[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XwfLa-PmqpY[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiK8fJLe_yo[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KP9iRLGoYzA[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiK8fJLe_yo[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kbjQsVR1vyw[/youtube]
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HztHUxmCq_I[/youtube]

There are plenty…PLENTY…more, but I think you get the point.

4. “The Blind Side” available on DVD/Blu-Ray (Tuesday), “Hot Tub Time Machine” opens in theaters (Friday)

Let me get this straight. Jesse James is married to Sandra Bullock….

bullock

And slept with some chick named “Michelle Bombshell”?

bombshell

But Sandra Bullock adopted Michael Oher! And bought him all those clothes! And won an Academy Award! What the hell?!?!?

Oh, and I’m all in on the “Hot Tube Time Machine” thing (Language NSFW)….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vTn7h00EKCg[/youtube]

But I’ve been all in on Craig Robinson before….

And for no particular reason, here’s video of Robinson singing “Creep” by Radiohead. It’s a gift, really….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogwvMJDlBtA[/youtube]

3. NCAA Tournament Sweet 16: Butler vs. Syracuse (Thursday 7:07pm from Salt Lake City live on CBS), Kansas State vs. Xavier (Thursday 9:37pm from Salt Lake City live on CBS); Washington vs. West Virginia (Thursday 7:27pm from Syracuse live on CBS); Cornell vs. Kentucky (Thursday 9:57pm from Syracuse live on CBS); Tennessee vs. Ohio State (Friday 7:07pm from St. Louis live on CBS); Northern Iowa vs. Michigan State (Friday 9:37pm from St. Louis live on CBS); St. Mary’s vs. Baylor (Friday 7:27pm from Houston live on CBS); Duke vs. Purdue (Friday 9:57pm from Houston live on CBS)

Boy…this whole thing felt a lot more exciting a couple days ago, huh?

Those of us who didn’t pick Kansas will clearly be rooting for the teams we DID pick to win now. Well, at least SECRETLY rooting anyway. (Yeah, I picked Syracause; but I don’t know if I’m REALLY rooting for The Orange; or just sorta quietly hoping they might win maybe.)

I guess most of the rest of the country will be rooting for Cornell or Northern Iowa. Which is fine, as long as they’re also rooting AGAINST Duke. That’s just about all that matters at this point.

You know, until we get to this part…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwSaPaubcS0[/youtube]

(Edit from GMC: I already have chills, even though I know I’ll have to watch highlights of freaking Korie Lucious. GOD the NCAA Tournament is great. And for the record-in my “second chance” bracket, I DO have St. Mary’s reaching the Final Four.)

2. WWE: WrestleMania XXVI (Sunday 7pm from Glendale, AZ live on Pay-Per-View)

Look, WrestleMania hasn’t been QUITE as great since they abandoned the TLC matches….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PfGCXUOL24[/youtube]

…but this is still freaking WRESTLEMANIA we’re talking about. You know, the same event where THIS happened at the Pontiac Silverdome some 23 years ago…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SwjzSZg1B9Q[/youtube]

And before we move on, I will make sure I throw in a picture of WWE Diva Maryse. You guys freaking owe me….

maryse

1. Mixed Martial Arts: Shogun Fights II (Saturday 6pm 1st Mariner Arena), UFC 111: Georges St. Pierre vs. Dan Hardy (Saturday 10pm from Newark live on Pay-Per-View; screened on big screens at AMC Owings Mills and AMC Columbia), Strikeforce Challengers (Friday 11:45pm from Fresno, CA live on Showtime)

If I were you, I’d be watching some MMA this weekend. Since I’m me….well….I’ll be watching some MMA this weekend. For a number of reasons, too.

1-Shogun Fights is going with Heavyweights in the Main Event. LOVE THAT. No word on whether or not “The Blob” will be included.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Las6RXJKTLE[/youtube]

2-Strikeforce may not have any of their stars (Gina Carano, Bobby Lashley, Dan Henderson, Fedor Emelianenko) on their Challengers cards, but they do have Lavar Johnson-who is fighting just 6 months after being SHOT at a Fourth of July BBQ. Is he a good fighter? No idea. Is 50 Cent a good rapper? No idea. But as Dave Chappelle said… “HE WAS SHOT NINE TIMES!!!”

3-As much as I’m looking forward to Georges St. Pierre and Dan Hardy Saturday night, I’m looking forward EVEN MORE to Frank Mir and Shane Carwin. Those dudes are MANIACS…

mir
carwin

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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