Top 10 Baseball Distractions

April 06, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Figure Skating-Smuckers Stars On Ice (Thursday 7pm Verizon Center); Soccer-MLS: DC United @ Philadelphia Union (Saturday 6pm from Philly live on Fox Soccer Channel); UEFA Champions League Quarterfinals 2nd leg: CSKA Moscow vs. Internazionale (Tuesday 12:30pm from Moscow live on Fox Soccer Channel), Barcelona vs. Arsenal (Tuesday 2:30pm from Barcelona live on Comcast SportsNet locally, Fox Sports Net nationally), Manchester United vs. Bayern Munchen (Wednesday 2:45pm from Manchester, England live on Fox Soccer Channel)

10. Arctic Monkeys (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live) Bone Thugs -N- Harmony (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live), Temper Trap (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club), George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club), Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus (Wednesday-Sunday 1st Mariner Arena), US Air Guitar Championships-DC Regional (Friday 8pm 9:30 Club)

Maybe not the most overwhelming week of live music, but there’s good stuff there.

If you’re a fan of The Strokes or The White Stripes, you’d probably dig the Arctic Monkeys…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xm69M3jtZl4[/youtube]

This is technically Mo Thugs Family and NOT Bone Thugs, but does it really matter? This song RULES.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EVm7Smq-T0c[/youtube]

And this song is either by Temper Trap or JESUS. I’m not 100% certain.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jxKjOOR9sPU[/youtube]

9. Boxing: Evander Holyfield vs. Frans Botha (Saturday 9pm from Las Vegas live on Pay-Per-View), Andre Berto vs. Carlos Quintana (Saturday 10:30pm from Sunrise, FL live on HBO)

Umm….April Fool’s???

I seriously have no idea why (money) “The Real Deal” feels the need to step back into the ring at the age of 237; but if Bone Thugs -N- Harmony can play a gig in Baltimore this week, why shouldn’t we just go COMPLETELY 1996?

And since we’re thinking about 1996, I decided to Google Image search “Laura Winslow” (from the show “Family Matters”) to see how she was doing.

She’s doing well.

laura

8. NBA: Warriors @ Wizards (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Wizards @ Magic (Wednesday 7pm from Orlando live on Comcast SportsNet), Wizards @ Celtics (Friday 7:30pm from Boston live on Comcast SportsNet PLUS), Hawks @ Wizards (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet), Wizards @ Knicks (Monday 7:30pm from New York live on Comcast SportsNet)

It is particularly cruel of NBA Commissioner David Stern to force the ‘Zards to finish the season. Seriously, couldn’t they just let them finish up after beating the Nets? They may be the Nets, but it ain’t getting any better the rest of the way.

Of course, if you ARE headed to a Wiz game the rest of the way (which can only make me think you’re also a glutton for punishment); you might want to wear this (Thanks Bullets Forever)…

bulletsforever

7. NASCAR Subway Fresh Fit 600 (Saturday 7:30pm from Phoenix live on FOX), IRL Indy Grand Prix of Alabama (Sunday 3pm from Birmingham live on VERSUS)

I remember when I went to my first ever NASCAR race (in Dover) back in 2006, I was told that I would be impressed by the attractiveness of the females in attendance.

I was lied to. My ex-girlfriend (“The FORMER Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet”) was BY FAR the most attractive gal there.

However, after moving to Arizona-I came to find out that there WERE tracks where attractive gals attended races. Of course, this is the place where the gals look like this…

asu

6. Hockey-NHL: Capitals @ Penguins (Tuesday 7:30pm from Pittsburgh live on VERSUS), Thrashers @ Capitals (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on NHL Network & Comcast SportsNet), Bruins @ Capitals (Sunday 12pm from Verizon Center live on NBC); NCAA Frozen Four: Miami (Ohio) vs. Boston College (Thursday 8:30pm from Detroit live on ESPN2), Wisconsin vs. Rochester Institute of Technology (Thursday 5pm from Detroit live on ESPN2)

Ah…the Caps are playing. If you root for teams from Washington, you’ll be excited!

Meanwhile, the Frozen Four is awesome. Hopefully MASN gives Gary Thorne the weekend off so he can call the games, but even if he doesn’t-it should be a great weekend of puck. It breaks my heart that the Bemidji State Beavers didn’t make it; but there’s no DOUBT I’m rooting for this team, especially if they end up playing BC…

rit

5. Harlem Globetrotters (Sunday 12pm & 4:30pm Towson Center; Saturday 1pm Verizon Center, Saturday 7:30pm Patriot Center)

The joke here is that while they’re over there, they might as well use Pat Kennedy’s Tigers as opposition. They’ll be about as effective as the Washington Generals, right?

(Edit from GMC: I’m kidding!!! Kinda.)

By the way-if you don’t love the Globetrotters, go ahead and move back to Moscow you commie…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kyyZaJag2Fc[/youtube]

4. Beer, Bourbon & BBQ Festival (Friday 6pm, Saturday 12pm Timonium Fairgrounds)

Does anyone have a liver I can borrow this week???

Between our event Tuesday night at Jimmy’s Famous Seafood in Dundalk to celebrate the Orioles’ first game of the season; all of our Opening Day festivities Friday before the Birds play the Blue Jays (come by Luna Del Sea and I’ll allow you to buy be a few beers) and then THIS…BOY.

Seriously though; has any event ever been more appropriately named? You know what you’re getting here….

beer
bourbon
bbq
drunk

3. MMA: UFC 112-Anderson Silva vs. Demian Maia (Saturday 10pm from Abu Dhabi on Pay-Per-View)

“The Spider” is one of the GREAT champions in Mixed Martial Arts history.

“The Black Widow” is a billiards player who looks like this…

jeannette

So now you know.

2. College Lacrosse: Navy @ Maryland (Saturday 12pm from Byrd Stadium live on WMAR2 & ESPNU), Loyola @ Fairfield (Saturday 1pm from Fairfield, Conn. live on AM1570 WNST), UMBC @ Towson (Wednesday 7:30pm Unitas Stadium), Albany @ Johns Hopkins (Saturday 2pm from Homewood Field live on ESPNU)

Are the most important games of the weekend being played in East Rutherford? Yeah, no doubt about that. But since they’re happening in New Jersey-they really don’t count.

Unless of course it involves that gal “JWoww” from Jersey Shore…

Jwoww

1. Golf: The Masters (Thursday 4pm Friday 4:30pm live on ESPN, Saturday 3:30pm Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Augusta. Par 3 Tournament Wednesday 3pm live on ESPN.)

I’ve had plenty of fun with Tiger Woods’ whores in recent weeks. But if I’m going to have to watch golf this weekend, I hope this happens…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I1I55z-x6zc[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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