Top 10 Baseball Distractions

April 12, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-Golf: PGA Verizon Heritage (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Hilton Head, SC) Champions Tour Outback Steakhouse Pro-Am (Friday 12:30pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday 4pm Sunday 1pm live on NBC. All golf from Lutz, FL); Tennis: ATP Monte Carlo Rolex Masters (Tuesday-Thursday 4:30am, Friday 6am, Saturday 7:30am, Sunday-final-8:30am. All action from Monte Carlo live on Tennis Channel.), Volleyball: AVP Gatorade Ft. Lauderdale Open (Sunday 5:30m from Ft. Lauderdale on ESPN2); Soccer: NASL-Tampa Bay Rowdies @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Friday 7pm UMBC Stadium); MLS-Chicago Fire @ DC United (Saturday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on MLS Direct Kick)

10. Third Eye Blind (Sunday 8pm RAC Arena), Nickelback (Tuesday 6:30pm Verizon Center), Lupe Fiasco (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Cam’Ron (Saturday 9pm Sonar), Lisa Lampanelli (Friday 8pm Meyerhoff Symphony Hall), Ringling Brothers & Barnum and Bailey Circus (Wednesday 7:30pm, Thursday 10:30am & 7:30pm, Friday 7:30pm, Saturday 11:30am 3:30pm & 7:30pm, Sunday 1pm & 5pm 1st Mariner Arena), Kick-Ass opens in theaters (Friday)

Another sorta strange week in this category. BUT…I don’t care what you say, 3eb changed my LIFE…

Nickelback sucks, but Shinedown and Breaking Benjamin are opening for them; and between them they have like one good song…

Lupe Fiasco doesn’t need any help to be amazing, but sometimes he calls on friends like Jill Scott to help him be even more amazing anyway…

And I don’t KNOW that Kick-Ass is going to be a great movie, but it certainly looks like it might be worth giving it a try…

9. Jonathan Ogden Foundation 2nd Annual Charity Poker Tournament (Saturday 5pm Crowne Plaza Hotel Timonium)

Is this just an excuse for me to post the AWESOME video of J.O. dancing in the GEBCO commercial? Why would I do…

…okay of course it was. Love the big man.

8. Pro Wrestling: TNA Lockdown (Sunday 8pm from St. Louis live on Pay-Per-View)

The concept of a night full of nothing but cage matches? Brilliant. Having the idea to pit Miss Jackie vs. Gail Kim IN one of those cage matches? That’s Nobel Peace Prize-type stuff.

Seriously, what did you think God thought when he heard TNA was going to do this match? Cause I think it was probably “well done my children…”

And if you need another reason to watch the TNA event Sunday night, Madison Rayne seems as good a reason as any…


7. College Football: Alabama “A Day” Spring Football Game (Saturday 3pm from Tuscaloosa live on ESPN), Auburn “A Day” Spring Football Game (Saturday 2pm from Auburn, AL live on ESPNU)

Ah…springtime in Tuscaloosa…


Look…this picture could have obviously been taken in the fall, but it’s BETTER thinking it may have happened in the spring. All good things happen in the spring, don’t they? You know, like the Miracle On Ice and when the Colts won the 1958 NFL Championship.

6. NBA: Pacers @ Wizards (Wednesday 8pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); NBA Playoffs (Saturday-Monday Teams & Times TBA)

So…who do you think the ‘Zards will play in the 1st round?!?!?

Look, we ALL know there’s nothing better than the misery of ANY team in Washington (Edit from GMC: I’d like NOTHING MORE than to see The Habs sweep out the Caps, for the record.), but this disaster of a basketball franchise has given me special pleasure this season. Of course, it would give me MORE pleasure if DC fans actually CARED about their teams, but I’ll smile nonetheless.

I was sitting at Pappas’ the other day cracking some crabs and enjoying 5-737 brewdogs when a friend of mine (who is from Oklahoma but sadly is forced to live in the District these days) asked me: “Do you know what the value of a Wizards ticket is?” I suggested that the mustard inside my crab was more valuable than a ticket to see the Wiz, but she said she actually had a serious answer. She informed me that for just 5 Dunkin Donuts receipts, you can get tickets to see the Wizards.

She wasn’t kidding.

Of course, when I asked her if she had been to a game yet…she said “5 trips to Dunkin Donuts? To see the Wizards? They’re not worth one.”

Smart girl.

5. Auto Racing-NASCAR: Samsung Mobile 500 (Sunday 3pm from Fort Worth live on FOX), IndyCar Series: Toyota Grand Prix of Long Beach (Sunday 3:30pm from Long Beach, CA live on VERSUS)

I’m surprised no one announced that NASCAR season was starting this year. Apparently they’ve already held a few races and NO ONE KNEW!

With no offense, unless Danica Patrick is significantly involved-there’s just nothing related to racing that is even REMOTELY interesting to the average sports fan.

You know, short of a driver going all Ricky Bobby on everyone…

4. High School Basketball: Capital Classic (Thursday 6pm Bender Arena-American University)

Amongst the players you can see in this game are future Terps Pe’Shon Howard, Terrell Stoglin and Haukur Palsson. Palsson represents a conflict for me. I mean, I root for all Terrapins, but I previously DESPISED all things from Iceland. In fact, the first time I talk to him, it is going to be VERY difficult to not ask him if he remembers the whole Gunnar Stahl/Julie Gaffney issue…

3. NHL Playoffs: Canadiens @ Capitals (Thursday & Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on VERSUS, Monday 7pm from Montreal live on TBA)

Finally. For the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE, I have a reason to care about the Stanley Cup Playoffs. I FINALLY have a reason to be interested in postseason hockey, with a real feeling that my team could win the Stanley Cup!


Let me hear you Howl!!!

2. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce: Nashville (Saturday 9pm live on CBS), Bellator Fighting Championships XIV (Thursday 8pm from Chicago live on Fox Sports Net); Boxing: Kelly Pavlik vs. Sergio Martinez (Saturday 10pm from Atlantic City live on HBO), Friday Night Fights: Tony Thompson vs. Owen Beck (Friday 10pm from Memphis live on ESPN2)

The thought of a fighting championship in Music City made me think of…for absolutely NO REASON…this AWESOME promo that Jeff Jarrett cut back in 1993…

In a word….breathtaking.

1. College Lacrosse-Inside Lacrosse Smartlink Day of Rivals: Army vs. Navy (Saturday 4pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPNU), Johns Hopkins vs. Maryland (Saturday 6:30pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPNU); Georgetown @ Loyola (Saturday 12pm from Ridley Athletic Complex live on AM1570 WNST, ESPNU & WMAR2); Drexel @ Towson (Saturday 7:30pm Unitas Stadium); Albany @ UMBC (Saturday 7pm UMBC Stadium); St. Mary’s @ Stevenson (Tuesday 4pm Caves Athletic Complex), York @ Stevenson (Thursday 4pm Caves Athletic Complex)

Hopkins-Maryland. The ABSOLUTE best local sports rivalry.

Well, except of course for that OTHER rivalry that goes down Saturday between Essex and Dundalk. You know, the one that WIYY sponsors with the responsibility of THIS on the line???…


Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…