Top 10 Baseball Distractions

April 20, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: Auto Racing: NASCAR Aaron’s 499 (Sunday 1pm from Talladega live on FOX), IndyCar Road Runner Turbo Indy 300 (Saturday 1:30pm from Kansas City, KS live on ABC); Golf: PGA Tour Zurich Classic of New Orleans (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Avondale, LA), Champions Tour Liberty Mutual Legends of Golf (Friday 12:30pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 1pm live on CBS. All golf from Savannah, GA)

10. Jakob Dylan (Thursday 7pm Rams Head Live, Friday 7pm 9:30 Club), Citizen Cope (Saturday 9pm Rams Head Live), Ben Harper (Tuesday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion), Towson University Tigerfest: N.E.R.D. (Saturday 4pm Burdick Field), UMBC Quadmania: Wale (Wednesday 8pm UMBC Ballroom), Johns Hopkins Spring Fair: State Radio (Friday 6pm JHU Lacrosse Practice Field), Loyolapalooza: Eric Hutchinson (Sunday 6pm Loyola University), Ozomatli (Monday 7pm 9:30 Club), Widespread Panic (Tuesday & Wednesday 7:30pm Warner Theatre), Elvis Costello (Thursday 8pm Warner Theatre), Phoenix (Monday 7pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Earth Day Climate Rally feat. Sting, Robert Randolph, John Legend & The Roots (Sunday 11am National Mall), Avatar available on DVD & Blu-Ray (Thursday), AC/DC “Iron Man 2 Soundtrack” available in stores & online (Tuesday), Brewfest (Saturday 1pm Broadway Square Fells Point)

OH MY GOD I LOVE EVERYTHING ON THIS LIST.

We could be here for awhile. Jakob Dylan was once an ass to me when I made my infamous “If I was Bob Dylan’s son I wouldn’t do ANYTHING. When people asked me what I did for a living I’d say I was Bob Dylan’s son” joke not knowing he was standing behind me at the 9:30 Club. No matter, because he was the guy that did THIS….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCRmjTM3CXE[/youtube]

Unless you’re listening to Citizen Cope, Citizen Cope is better than what you’re listening to.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xAuQmJzt_q0[/youtube]

Ben Harper helped me learn how to be cool. It’s a shame I didn’t harness those lessons…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2dpfLRggcA[/youtube]

N.E.R.D. and Wale are amazing, but I’ve posted plenty of videos of them recently. State Radio is a band that you may have once known as Dispatch…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMD5Pptc-JQ[/youtube]

I’ll skip a few more so I can remind everyone that Phoenix has one of the best songs of the year…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RulP4OXxFbM[/youtube]

The combination of AC/DC and Tony Start is enough to make my pants shrink…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCIedbluZjA[/youtube]

And while you’re at Brewfest, enjoy Flying Dog’s Woody Creek White. I’d do the same if I was available…

woodycreekwhite

9. NBA Playoffs: Lakers/Thunder (Tuesday 10:30pm from Los Angeles live on TNT, Thursday 9:30pm from Oklahoma City live on TNT, Saturday 9:30pm from Oklahoma City live on ESPN); Mavericks/Spurs (Wednesday 9:30pm from Dallas live on TNT, Friday 9:30pm from San Antonio live on ESPN, Sunday 7pm from San Antonio live on TNT); Suns/Trailblazers (Tuesday 10pm from Phoenix live on NBA TV, Thursday 10pm from Portland live on NBA TV, Saturday 4:30pm from Portland live on TNT); Nuggets/Jazz (Friday 10:30pm from Salt Lake City live on ESPN2, Sunday 9:30pm from Salt Lake City live on TNT); Cavaliers/Bulls (Thursday 7pm from Chicago live on TNT, Sunday 3:30pm from Chicago live on ABC); Magic/Bobcats (Wednesday 7pm from Orlando live on TNT, Saturday 2pm from Charlotte live on TNT); Hawks/Bucks (Tuesday 7pm from Atlanta live on NBA TV, Saturday 7pm from Milwaukee live on ESPN); Celtics/Heat (Tuesday 8pm from Boston live on TNT, Friday 7pm from Miami live on ESPN, Sunday 1pm from Miami live on ABC)

Because the NBA is only worth watching for the dunks, here are the Top 10 Dunks of the NBA season. You may be thinking “Glenn, are you really even trying here?” And I’d respond “Stop being so mean to me mom….”

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pzgCfNYFaFM[/youtube]

8. Mixed Martial Arts-WEC: Jose Aldo vs. Urijah Faber (Saturday 10pm from Sacramento live on Pay-Per-View); Boxing-Carl Froch vs. Mikkel Kessler (Saturday 9pm from Herning, Denmark live on Showtime)

It’s good there’s a major MMA event in Sacramento Saturday night. I’ve never been to Sacramento myself; but if I am to believe what The Rock says (and I always have), I would imagine this might be the highlight of the year…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8G8u1ErQTO0[/youtube]

7. Maryland Hunt Cup (Saturday 4pm Worthington Valley)

If you’re still lamenting the loss of bringing your own alcohol to the Pimlico infield on Preakness Saturday, this might be a more than adequate replacement. “The Luckiest Dang Gal on the Face of the Planet” and her friends attend this event annually, and when I see them later in the evening the average greeting is something like…

“Hey! You’re…………hey! I don’t have any socks. Is this a house? It might be snowing. Hey!”

This seems like a simple equation to me.

Girls in sundresses
sundress

+a little liquid courage
bourbon

+jockeys being thrown off horses as they jump over fences

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vLEP5dI8DE4[/youtube]

=awesome frickin’ time!

6. NHL Playoffs: Capitals @ Canadiens Game 4 (Wednesday 7pm from Montreal live on Comcast SportsNet), Canadiens @ Capitals Game 5 (Friday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & VERSUS), Capitals @ Canadiens Game 6 if necessary (Monday 7pm from Montreal live on Comcast SportsNet & VERSUS)

I don’t really like the Caps, and I don’t really like Canada. But you know what I do like?

YOUPPI!!!!

youppi

I had to consult Google just to even be reminded that the team in Washington even HAD a mascot. Sorry gang, Les Habs > Les Caps.

5. College Football: Maryland Red/White Spring Game (Saturday 3:30pm Byrd Stadium); Navy Blue/Gold Spring Game (Friday 7pm Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium)

My pick for the “Josh Portis Honorary Spring Game MVP”? Davin Meggett.

My pick for better way to spend a Saturday that with co-eds in sundresses watching college football in College Park? Heh. Good luck.

4. WWE Extreme Rules (Sunday 8pm from 1st Mariner Arena live on Pay-Per-View)

WWE.com recently named the “Hollywood Backlot Brawl” between Goldust and “Rowdy” Roddy Piper as the most bizarre match in wrestling history. I have no problem with this personally, but some wrestling fans think they’re forgetting the infamous “Gravy Bowl Match” between Stacy Keibler and Trish Stratus…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0Uk5VyZ2ZU[/youtube]

Apparently some people don’t know the difference between “bizarre” and “sexy”.

3. College Lacrosse-ACC Tournament: Maryland vs. North Carolina (Friday 7:30pm Byrd Stadium), Duke vs. Virginia (Friday 5pm Byrd Stadium), Championship Game (Sunday 3:30pm from Byrd Stadium live on Raycom Sports-WNUV54 in Baltimore); Loyola @ Hobart (Saturday 1pm from Geneva, NY live on AM1570 WNST); Johns Hopkins @ Navy (Saturday 1pm from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on CBS College Sports); Penn State @ Towson (Saturday 12pm from Unitas Stadium live on WMAR2 & ESPNU); CAC Tournament: Stevenson vs. St. Mary’s (Wednesday 4pm Caves Athletic Complex) Championship Game Saturday Teams/Location/Time TBA

I can’t remember a Navy-Hopkins game where both teams came in more desperate for a win. I don’t like admitting this, but I’m pulling for the Blue Jays to win-as I can’t fathom the NCAA Tournament without them.

There are plenty of things I don’t like admitting.

For example, I sure as hell don’t like admitting that I sorta like the version of “Gives You Hell” they did on Glee last week.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJybKHm5mxY[/youtube]

2. 2010 NFL Schedule Release (Tuesday 7pm live coverage on AM1570 WNST, WNST.net & NFL Network)

I love everything about this. On Wednesday morning, we’ll be projecting how the Ravens will do despite the fact that we’re nearly 5 months away from playing game that matter. Once again, NFL > anything ever (you know, OTHER than the NCAA Basketball Tournament).

Also, I’m pretty sure they’re going to announce the cover for Madden 2011 this week. It’s going to be Drew Brees in a runaway, which only means they never got my suggestion…

kyle

(Edit from GMC: Oh Kyle, we’ll never get over you.)

1. NFL Draft (Thursday 7:30pm, Friday 6pm, Saturday 10am. Coverage on AM1570 WNST & WNST.net, ESPN & NFL Network. Draft from New York.)

Yeah, but when was the last time a 1st Round pick REALLY made that much of a difference???

Oh right.

I don’t know who the Ravens are going to take in the 1st Round, but I know this much. It will be a better pick than this one EVER would have been…

lawrence

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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