Top 10 Baseball Distractions

June 08, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Saturday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); Boxing-Friday Night Fights: David Lemiuex vs. Elvin Ayala (Friday 8:30pm from Montreal live on ESPN2); AHL Calder Cup Finals: Hershey Bears/Texas Stars (Game 4 Wednesday 8:30pm from Austin, TX live on Comcast SportsNet, Game 5 Friday 8:30pm from Austin, TX live on Comcast SportsNet); Golf: PGA Tour St. Jude Classic (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on CBS. All golf from Memphis), LPGA State Farm Classic (Thursday-Saturday 6:30pm, Sunday 7pm from Springfield, IL live on Golf Channel)

10. Foreigner & Styx (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Carole King & James Taylor (Tuesday 8pm Verizon Center), They Might Be Giants (Saturday 1pm Rams Head Live), Chubby Checker (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Talib Kweli & Hi-Tek (Wednesday 9pm Sonar), Rob Schneider (Friday-Sunday DC Improv), Drake (Sunday 9pm 9:30 Club), Conan O’Brien (Tuesday 8pm D.A.R. Constitution Hall), Jimmy Cliff/Sly & Robbie (Thursday 8pm Wolf Trap)

There are somethings to like here. For example, I could probably repeat every word of the Styx episode of Vh1 Behind The Music. Even I was pissed when Tommy Shaw made fun of “Lady” during Damn Yankees concerts. Oh, and “Renegade” is a FREAKING.GREAT.SONG.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn7nQk5L8B4[/youtube]

I sorta hated Chubby Checker growing up because every time I heard “Limbo Rock” I was reminded that I was a fat kid with no flexibility. Think I had issues? My best friend Matt Besche and I also walked around the halls of Chapel Hill Elementary School grabbing each other’s cheeks and saying “Chubby Checker” for no reason. It was our own secret handshake. Don’t judge, a-holes.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVQ0MXp-8ds[/youtube]

Saying I own the Talib Kweli/Mos Def disc gives me street cred, right? No. Damn. Do I just pretend like I don’t like him then?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVtpXvzzXiA[/youtube]

9. Honfest (Friday-Sunday “The Avenue” in Hampden), Great Grapes! (Saturday & Sunday 12pm Oregon Ridge Park)

In Southern California-girls in bikinis are celebrated.

In Las Vegas, girls in negligee are celebrated.

In Alabama, girls in sexy sundresses are celebrated.

In New York, girls in tight shirts and short skirts are celebrated.

In Hampden….big glasses and bigger hair???

honfest

And to think, some folks wonder why people never leave Charm City…

8. “The A-Team” out in theaters (Friday)

You can say whatever you want. I’m excited. Quinton “Rampage” Jackson might not be “Mr. T”, but I still get excited whenever I just hear the music…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_MVonyVSQoM[/youtube]

7. Auto Racing: NASCAR Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips 400 (Sunday 1pm from Brooklyn, MI live on TNT)

I have no idea what is going on in the world of NASCAR. I really don’t. I know Kurt Busch won the races in Charlotte, but I don’t know who won the races at Pocono. TNT showed “Talladega Nights” throughout the day Sunday after they showed the race, and it reminded me that when I saw the trailer for Will Ferrell’s new movie “The Other Guys” before I saw “Get Him to the Greek” Saturday night, I was fairly impressed…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6WOoUG1eNo[/youtube]

He’s fooled me before, but I have a good feeling about this one. At least a better feeling than I had about “Kicking and Screaming.” Ugh.

6. Ravens Passing Camp (Monday-Thursday; availability Tuesday 1 Winning Drive)

PLEASE SOMEONE LET ME KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON WITH DIGGER BUJNOCH!!!

Another radio person in town…who is not REALLY a sports person but does sports now…was out in Owings Mills for Rookie Camp last week. When I asked him why he was there, he said “I love football. I’d watch anyone play football.” He then proceeded to tell me he couldn’t see enough of the field. There were about 25 players on the field. If we’re lucky, a third of them will ever play a snap for the Baltimore Ravens.

Sadly, it remains at LEAST as relevant as anything the Baltimore Orioles are doing right now, including dismissing their manager.

5. Pro Wrestling: TNA Slammiversary (Sunday 8pm from Orlando live on Pay-Per-View)

There are a couple of reasons to watch TNA’s biggest PPV event of the year, even if your name isn’t Kris Cumberland.

A-I love everything about Rob Van Dam. Seriously, the guy is about as good as it gets.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2i-sRAdk7YE[/youtube]

B-The more I found out about Lacey Von Erich (thus far only via image), the more I think I like her…
lve

4. Mixed Martial Arts: UFC 115: Chuck Liddell vs. Rich Franklin (Saturday 10pm from Vancouver live on Pay-Per-View); Bellator Fighting Championships XXI (Thursday 8pm from Orlando live on Fox Sports Net)

The reason none of you told me Eric “ButterBean” Esch was fighting in MMA was???

butterbean

Word is he’ll be on “The MMA Report” with John Rallo Tuesday afternoon on AM1570 WNST. In the meantime, the UFC 115 main event was only exciting because Tito Ortiz and Chuck Liddell like legitimately hate each other. Rich Franklin and Chuck Liddell are just legitimately old.

3. NBA Playoffs-NBA Finals: Lakers/Celtics (Game 3 Tuesday 9pm from Boston live on ABC, Game 4 Thursday 9pm from Boston live on ABC, Game 5 Sunday 8pm from Boston live on ABC)

You mean to tell me that the Nate Robinson that is contributing for the C’s these days is the same Nate Robinson that once shot on the wrong basket in New York and pissed off Mike D’Antoni???

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOhLgApNrgM[/youtube]

How am I supposed to feel good for the guy? At least he did something cool with David Letterman once…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AXvXwtvDuA4[/youtube]

2. NHL Playoffs-Stanley Cup Finals: Flyers/Blackhawks (Game 6 Wednesday 8pm from Philadelphia live on NBC, Game 7 if necessary Friday 8pm from Chicago live on NBC)

I’m sort of ASSUMING that the Blackhawks will clinch the Cup in Philly Wednesday night, but it wouldn’t stun me if the series made it back to the Windy City. If it does, I have half a feeling Michael Jordan will hit the game winning shot to finish things off. It’s just what happens at United Center.

No matter what happens, Patrick Kane better have cooler ideas for what to do with the Cup than Mario Lemieux did…

mario

1. Soccer: Baltimore County World Soccer Festival (Saturday 7:30am, throughout day-Patriot Plaza in Towson); World Cup-South Africa vs. Mexico (Friday 10am from Johannesburg, South Africa live on ESPN), Uruguay vs. France (Friday 2:30pm from Cape Town, South Africa live on ESPN), South Korea vs. Greece (Saturday 7:30am from Port Elizabeth, South Africa live on ESPN), Argentina vs. Nigeria (Saturday 10am from Johannesburg live on ESPN), England vs. United States (Saturday 2:30pm from Rustenburg, South Africa live on ABC), Algeria vs. Slovenia (Sunday 7:30am from Polokwane, South Africa live on ESPN), Serbia vs. Ghana (Sunday 10am from Pretoria, South Africa live on ESPN), Germany vs. Australia (Sunday 2:30pm from Durban, South Africa live on ABC), Netherlands vs. Denmark (Monday 7:30am from Johannesburg live on ESPN), Japan vs. Cameroon (Monday 10am from Bloemfontein, South Africa live on ESPN), Italy vs. Paraguay (Monday 2:30pm from Cape Town live on ESPN); MLS-DC United @ Seattle Sounders (Thursday 10pm from Seattle live on ESPN2)

flag

That is all.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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