Top 10 Baseball Distractions

July 13, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention-Soccer: NASL-Rochester Rhinos @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Wednesday 7pm Maryland SoccerPlex), MLS-Seattle Sounders @ DC United (Thursday 8pm from RFK Stadium live on ESPN2), Los Angeles Galaxy @ DC United (Sunday 7:30pm from RFK Stadium live on Fox Soccer Channel), Team USA Women vs. Sweden (Tuesday 9pm from Omaha live on ESPN2, Saturday 7:30pm from Hartford, CT live on Fox Soccer Channel); Under-20 Women’s World Cup: Team USA vs. Ghana (Wednesday 12pm from Dresden, Germany live on ESPNU), Team USA vs. Switzerland (Saturday 12pm from Dresden, Germany live on ESPNU); Boxing: Friday Night Fights-Zab Judah vs. Jose Armando Santa Cruz (Friday 9pm from Newark, NJ live on ESPN2), ShoBox-Fernando Guerrero vs. Ishe Smith (Friday 11pm from Memphis live on Showtime), HBO Boxing After Dark-Timothy Bradley vs. Luis Carlos Abregu (Saturday 9:45pm from Rancho Mirage, CA live on HBO); WNBA-Chicago Sky @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet); Auto Racing-NASCAR Nationwide Series Missouri-Illinois Dodge Dealers 250 (Saturday 7pm from St. Louis live on ESPN2), IndyCar Series Honda Indy Toronto (Sunday 12:30pm from Toronto live on ABC); Tennis: WTT-Kansas City Explorers @ Washington Kastles (Wednesday 7pm Kastles Stadium), Boston Lobsters @ Washington Kastles (Sunday 7pm Kastles Stadium)

10. Jack Johnson (Saturday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); B.B. King (Thursday 6pm Pier Six Pavilion), Sublime with Rome (Sunday 5pm Pier Six Pavilion); 311 & The Offspring (Friday 6:30pm Jiffy Lube Live); Star Wars In Concert (Saturday 2pm & 7pm Verizon Center), B-52′s (Wednesday 8pm Wolf Trap), Big Head Todd and the Monsters (Wednesday 7pm Rams Head Live), Hammerjacks Reunion feat. The Ravyns & Funny Money (Saturday 7pm Recher Theatre), Dead Weather (Tuesday 7pm 9:30 Club), Vertical Horizon (Wednesday 8pm Rams Head On Stage), Blind Boys of Alabama (Saturday 8pm Rams Head On Stage); “Inception” out in theaters (Friday)

Gun to my head-favorite Jack Johnson song? I’ll say Banana Pancakes…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_BoZ_Qdyl0[/youtube]

No shtick needed here. This is “Lucille” by BB King. I’ll be back shortly…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y8QxOjuYHg[/youtube]

I’m not really sure it’s fair to follow up BB King with 311, but I’m doing it anyway. 311 is just one of those bands that has always been solid even if not incredible. Sorta like Cesar Izturis…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amrE-hUmtPg[/youtube]

I like Vertical Horizon. So sue me…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U8s_q3IaglQ[/youtube]

Oh, and here are the Blind Boys of Alabama doing “Higher Ground.” Just thank me later…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCfqS7HgAY0[/youtube]

9. AVP Volleyball: Hermosa Beach Open (Sunday 9:30pm live on Universal Sports, 11:59pm live on ESPN2. All action from Hermosa Beach, CA)

When you Google Image Search “Beach Volleyball”, this comes up…

vball

What else am I supposed to say here?

8. NBA Summer League: Denver Nuggets vs. Chicago Bulls (Tuesday 4pm), Cleveland Cavaliers vs. NBA D-League (Tuesday 6pm), Milwaukee Bucks vs. Memphis Grizzlies (Tuesday 8pm), Portland Trailblazers vs. New Orleans Hornets (Tuesday 10pm), Denver Nuggets vs. Houston Rockets (Wednesday 4pm), New York Knicks vs. Toronto Raptors (Wednesday 6pm), Los Angeles Clippers vs. Chicago Bulls (Wednesday 8pm), Sacramento Kings vs. Minnesota Timberwolves (Wednesday 10pm), LA Lakers vs. San Antonio Spurs (Thursday 4pm), Golden State Warriors vs. Phoenix Suns (Thursday 6pm), Washington Wizards vs. Dallas Mavericks (Thursday 8pm), LA Clippers vs. Portland Trailblazers (Thursday 10pm), Detroit Pistons vs. New York Knicks (Friday 4pm), Toronto Raptors vs. Sacramento Kings (Friday 6pm), Washington Wizards vs. New Orleans Hornets (Friday 8pm), Memphis Grizzlies vs. Minnesota Timberwolves (Friday 10pm), New York Knicks vs. Washington Wizards (Saturday 4pm), Miami Heat vs. Cleveland Cavs (Saturday 6pm), LA Clippers vs. San Antonio Spurs (Saturday 8pm), Minnesota T-Wolves vs. Portland Blazers (Saturday 10pm), Cleveland Cavaliers vs. Memphis Grizzlies (Sunday 4pm), Chicago Bulls vs. Portland Trailblazers (Sunday 6pm), Dallas Mavs vs. Sacramento Kings (Sunday 8pm….all games from Las Vegas live on NBA TV, ‘Zards games also live on CSN)

Ruh-roh! The first showdown between the Miami Heat and the Cleveland Cavaliers since the “LeBron” issue?!?!? This should be good!!!!!!

In all fairness-I’ll be poking at the action in Vegas, at least if Greivis Vasquez or Landon Milbourne are on my TV. I hate to say that I’m “happy” that the Wiz released Eric Hayes-because I was hoping the former Terrapins guard would get the chance to show he could offer something to a NBA team. That being said, I’m glad I won’t be confused and accidentally root for the Wizards because Eric Hayes is on the floor.

You know, because I don’t like DC. Have I mentioned that in the past???

7. Cycling: Tour De France (Tuesday 7am, Wednesday 8am, Thursday-Saturday 8:30am, Sunday & Monday 7:30am from France live on VERSUS)

How long has this thing been going on??? A week? Feels like it’s been since St. Patrick’s Day….

Guy you’ve never heard of 1 is currently ahead of Guy you’ve never heard of 2-47. Lance Armstrong isn’t a factor, so no one in America will be paying attention any time soon.

Of course, can you blame us? We have so much going on over here! For example, “Revenge of the Bridesmaids” premieres on ABC Family this weekend. How could I possibly have time to pay attention to anything else?!?!?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-74DnFeV9Ik[/youtube]

6. Pro Wrestling: WWE Money In The Bank (Sunday 8pm from Kansas City live on Pay-Per-View)

I’m a little bitter that the Bruno Sammartino dinner had to be postponed, mostly because I was confident I could get him to put me in a bearhug before the night was over. I’m still holding out hope that will happen.

In the meantime, blah blah blah Kelly Kelly works for WWE…

kelly

5. The ESPYs (Wednesday 9pm from Los Angeles live on ESPN)

Holy crap the ESPYs!!! You know, the event that none of us watch ever despite the fact that there’s LITERALLY no other sports happening on the same night!

Let’s be honest, this is really nothing more than an excuse for me to post my annual clip of Norm MacDonald’s ESPY monologue. He’s humorous…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC6TbH_Yzd4[/youtube]

4. EA Sports NCAA Football 2011 available on Playstation 3/XBox360 (Tuesday)

Which means DON’T BOTHER ME THE REST OF THE WEEK!

In fact, it you really love me (Edit from GMC: Mom?), I’d appreciate it if you’d respect me enough to simply drop off about 87 bags of these…

chips

And about 234 cases of this…

summerale

Big week in the Glenn Clark household, folks.

3. Golf: British Open (Thursday-Sunday 5am from St. Andrews, Scotland live on ESPN); PGA Tour Reno-Tahoe Open (Thursday-Sunday 6:30pm from Reno, NV live on Golf Channel)

They of course call it the “Reno-Tahoe Open” because “Golf Tournament for guys who aren’t quite good enough to play in the real tournament this weekend” apparently wasn’t as attractive to sponsors.

Of course, my favorite part about The Open Championship is usually the incredible conditions. If it isn’t the rain, it’s the wind. Plus, it’s always beautiful looking at crappy courses with dead grass.

What, I’m supposed to be reverent? If Tiger Woods is in it Sunday, I’ll tune in. Otherwise, only something like this could possibly make it entertaining…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1dR1pkCGY80[/youtube]

2. Artscape feat. Wale, Musiq Soulchild, Gov’t Mule, Cold War Kids, Jackie Greene (Friday-Sunday Mt. Royal District)

The best weekend we have to offer all year in Charm City.

And no pressure on Wale (who I am a HUGE fan of despite the fact that he likes the Redskins), but ummm…this is what you have to live up to from Robert Randolph & The Family Band last year…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QkDH1wON7UU[/youtube]

Your turn Wale.

1. Curing Cancer…One Call At A Time (Saturday 12pm-Sunday 12pm live on AM1570 WNST & WNST.net)

I usually think Rex Snider is some sort of NASCAR-loving weirdo, but this week I think he’s a NASCAR-loving weirdo who’s doing a great thing for people who need it.

Please tune in and donate to the Cancer Center at Harbor Hospital. Hell, I ate 12 hot dogs for the cause!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVqIvM8Wbas[/youtube]

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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