Top 10 Baseball Distractions

August 10, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-Connecticut Sun @ Washington Mystics (Tuesday 7pm from Verizon Center live on Comcast SportsNet & NBA TV), Minnesota Lynx @ Washington Mystics (Friday 7pm Verizon Center), Seattle Storm @ Washington Mystics (Sunday 4pm Verizon Center); Gymnastics: Visa National Championships (Thursday & Friday 7pm live on Universal Sports, Saturday 8pm & Sunday 2:30pm live on NBC. All gymnastics from Hartford, Conn.); Auto Racing: NASCAR Carfax 400 (Sunday 1pm from Brooklyn, Michigan live on ESPN)

10. Black Eyed Peas (Tuesday 7:30pm 1st Mariner Arena); O.A.R. & Citizen Cope (Thursday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), MGMT (Saturday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion), David Gray & Ray LaMontagne (Sunday 7pm Merriweather Post Pavilion); Green Day & AFI (Wednesday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Jonas Brothers (Thursday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live), Maroon 5 (Friday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), Rascal Flatts (Saturday 7:30pm Jiffy Lube Live), Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers (Sunday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); George Thorogood & The Destroyers (Tuesday 7:30pm Wolf Trap); Mr. Greengenes (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Jimmy Wayne (Saturday 8pm Power Plant Live); Public Enemy (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); Smile Empty Soul (Thursday 7pm Bourbon Street); Patton Oswalt (Saturday 8pm Warner Theatre)

OMFGLOLZROFLLMFAOOMGZ!!!!!!!!! THE JOE BROS!!!!!!!!!!!

In all reality, there are a ton of things I like on this list; and it doesn’t even include the Jimmy Buffett show I’m going to in Philadelphia.

For example, O.A.R. is not only made up of Maryland natives, they’re also completely freaking awesome.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Typ01AiVz4[/youtube]

As if that wasn’t enough, Clarence Greenwood is on the same bill in Columbia-where he will almost certainly tell you a tune about George from Baltimore…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMJjkO8ESL4[/youtube]

I like David Gray, but I would be JUST as excited about checking out a crooning LaMontagne…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g25ZjKBXw8Q[/youtube]

And as far as Tom Petty is concerned…well…look, you don’t hate America or anything-do you?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyStwRYLzlI[/youtube]

9. “The Expendables” opens in theaters (Friday), Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhof (Sunday 10pm Comedy Central)

Will “The Expendables” be some sort of cinematic classic??? Of course not. Will it be a movie with Sylvester Stallone, Randy Couture, Jason Statham and Mickey Rourke? Un-freaking-questionably. And oh yeah, some other guy you’ve heard of is in the flick too…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKz0_JngFmg[/youtube]

“When you hear the glass, it’s your ass…”

8. Mixed Martial Arts: Strikeforce Challengers (Friday 11pm from Phoenix live on Showtime)

MMA fans will be looking forward to the pro debut of Randy Couture’s son-Ryan Couture-at this event; Ryan is scheduled to join Thyrl Nelson and John Rallo on “The MMA Report” Tuesday at 1:30pm on AM1570 WNST.

Interestingly enough, MMA fighters will be looking forward to going to Arizona; mostly because they’ve heard a thing or two about the gals who live in Tempe…

asu

WHY IN THE HELL DID I COME BACK AGAIN?!?!?

7. Tennis: ATP Tour Rogers Masters Cup (Tuesday & Wednesday 1pm live on Tennis Channel, Thursday & Friday 1pm live on ESPN2, Saturday & Sunday 3pm live on ESPN2. All tennis from Toronto); WTA Western & Southern Financial Group Women’s Open (Thursday 3pm live on ESPN2 5pm live on Tennis Channel, Friday 5pm live on Tennis Channel 7pm live on ESPN2 9pm live on Tennis Channel, Saturday 1pm live on Tennis Channel 9pm live on ESPN2, Sunday 5pm live on ESPN2. All tennis from Cincinnati)

I was really excited to hear that James Blake was trying to make a comeback this summer, as I have been a James Blake fan for some time. Of course, that was before I found out he broke up with girlfriend Jennifer Scholle. I will admit that I’m not QUITE as excited anymore…

scholle

6. Boxing: Hasim Rahman vs. Damon Reed (Saturday 7:30pm from Norfolk Scope Arena-Virginia), Jean Pascal vs. Chad Dawson (Saturday 10:30pm from Montreal live on HBO)

I get it. The guy was knocked through the ring by Oleg Maskaev and has never managed to get a legitimate finish against James Toney; but they will NEVER take this away from this man…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABZu5v2JPuE[/youtube]

Go get him, Rock!

5. Soccer: Team USA vs. Brazil (Tuesday 8pm from East Rutherford, NJ live on ESPN2); NASL-Carolina RailHawks @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Saturday 5pm Paul Angelo Russo Stadium-Calvert Hall); MLS-FC Dallas @ DC United (Saturday 8pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet & MLS Direct Kick)

This is good, because I already don’t like Brazil anyway! I mean, good food and good looking women; what’s to like?!?!?

The fact remains that there is NOTHING I like more in the world than the United States of America. You know why? Because this is the country that gave us both Jay-Z AND John Mayer. Take THAT, Brazil!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1soDJzDfL4[/youtube]

4. Pro Wrestling: WWE SummerSlam (Sunday 8pm from Los Angeles live on Pay-Per-View)

As if the (presumably) final “match” in Bret Hart’s career wasn’t enough of a reason to watch SummerSlam Sunday, may I make another suggestion as to why you should take a look? The suggestion is this particular picture of Alicia Fox…

aliciafox

3. Golf: PGA Championship (Thursday & Friday 1pm live on TNT, Saturday & Sunday 11am live on TNT 2pm live on CBS. All golf from Kohler, Wisconsin)

Usually I’ll watch a golf tournament right up until the point that Tiger Woods doesn’t have a shot at winning it. Which means that the good news for me is that I won’t have to bother watching any golf this weekend.

So just who AM I picking this weekend? The same guy I always do…

chichi

2. Carolina Panthers @ Baltimore Ravens (Thursday 8pm from M&T Bank Stadium live on ESPN)

Are we really sure we’re that interested in the Ravens season starting? I mean, the Orioles are RED HOT under Buck Showalter!!!

It’s preseason football, so I know it really isn’t THAT exciting and the beer still costs $8 at “The Bank.”

But then again…it’s football.

Oh how we’ve missed you…

1. Madden 11 in stores (Tuesday)

The dirty little secret with me is that I’m REALLY not a gamer. I actually don’t own an XBox360 OR a PS3 (I DO own a Wii however), and my “gaming” lifestyle consists mostly of me spending hours a week at FreePacman.org.

But I’ll find a way to play Madden. I’ll draft Drew Brees and Larry Fitzgerald and win 10 Super Bowls. I’ll keep Ray Rice and ride him to both the Pro Bowl and a MVP.

And if I think about it, I’ll even find some time to change out of the shirt that’s covered in pizza sauce and shame.

Maybe.

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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