Top 10 Baseball Distractions

August 17, 2010 | Glenn Clark

Honorable Mention: WNBA-New York Liberty @ Washington Mystics (Friday 7pm Verizon Center); Soccer: NASL-Rochester Rhinos @ Crystal Palace Baltimore (Wednesday 7pm Ridley Athletic Complex-Loyola),MLS-Philadelphia Union @ DC United (Sunday 2pm from RFK Stadium live on Comcast SportsNet & MLS Direct Kick)

10. Train (Sunday 5pm Pier Six Pavilion); KISS (Saturday 7pm Jiffy Lube Live); The Temptations and The Four Tops (Saturday 8pm Wolf Trap); Travie McCoy & Shwayze (Friday 8pm Power Plant Live); Charm City Devils & Bang Tango (Saturday 7:30pm Bourbon Street), The Wailers (Sunday 7:30pm Bourbon Street); Mighty Mighty Bosstones (Saturday 8pm 9:30 Club); Hot August Blues Festival feat. Lyle Lovett & His Large Band, Keb’ Mo’ (Saturday 1:30pm Oregon Ridge Park); Babyface (Sunday 7:30pm Birchmere)

Certainly some things worth pointing out here, as no matter how goofy that stupid “Hey Soul Sister” song was-Train remains downright listenable…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxWK3qACDGk[/youtube]

I’ve caught myself watching “Gene Simmons Family Jewels” a few times recently, and I’ve been reminded of just how unforgivable it is that KISS is somehow NOT in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Hgz-q76KtQ[/youtube]

Whether or not you were a SR-71 fan (and how could you not have been?), there’s really no excuse to not be a Charm City Devils fan. John Allen is part of our great city’s rock and roll royalty…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vNahVaxjFYs[/youtube]

And the ska movement may have died many years ago, but I am grateful to have Dicky Barrett and the Mighty Mighty Bosstones back. They did my favorite song from “Clueless” after all….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmOmAuhAQbE[/youtube]

9. Baltimore Restaurant Week (Tuesday-Sunday throughout Charm City)

Or in other words, “The Greatest Week of All Time Ever.”

Look, they’re not a sponsor-but I’ll go ahead and say it. If there’s a way for me to afford eating at The Capital Grille, I’m all in. I mean-they have Halibut and Yukon Potatoes with sliced almonds and sweet diced tomatoes…

halibut

8. Arena Football League: ArenaBowl-Tampa Bay Storm @ Spokane Shock (Friday 8pm from Spokane live on NFL Network)

Maybe we have the winner face the AIFA Champion Baltimore Mariners in a Best of 7 series starting Monday night?

For the record, I’m pulling for Spokane. It would be nice for the city to have something to celebrate besides Adam Morrison and his moustache crying…

adammorrison

7. Swimming: Pan Pacific Championships (Wednesday 9pm live on Universal Sports, Saturday 2pm Sunday 3pm on NBC. All swimming from Irvine, CA)

There’s good news here. One-I always root for Michael Phelps. He’s a Baltimore Ravens fan. I’m a Baltimore Ravens fan. Not much else to care about there.

Two-this particular event is an event where Team USA goes up against Japan, Australia and Canada. And the fact is, I hate Canada anyway! Why? Well…

bieber

Up yours Canada. Enjoy getting SMOKED by Michael Phelps and the boys…

6. Golf: PGA Tour Wyndham Championship (Thursday & Friday 3pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 2pm live on CBS. All golf from Greensboro, North Carolina); Champions Tour JELD-WEN Tradition (Thursday 7:30pm Friday 8pm live on Golf Channel, Saturday & Sunday 4pm live on NBC. All golf from Sunriver, Oregon); LPGA Tour Safeway Classic (Friday 12:30pm Saturday & Sunday 5:30pm from North Plains, Oregon live on Golf Channel)

It used to be that if Tiger Woods wasn’t involved in a golf tournament, no one was interested.

Now, it’s just a case of no one ever being interested either way.

But if you’re going to have to play a golf tournament-there are worse places to play than Greensboro, North Carolina. The good news there is that you’re never too far from one of these…

biscuitville

5. Tennis-ATP Tour U.S. Open Series: Western & Southern Financial Group Masters (Tuesday & Wednesday 1pm live on Tennis Channel, Thursday & Friday 12pm live on ESPN2, Saturday 2pm & 7pm live on ESPN2, Sunday-FINAL-12pm live on CBS. All tennis from Cincinnati) WTA Tour U.S. Open Series: Rogers Cup (Friday 6pm, Saturday 4pm live on Tennis Channel; Sunday 1pm & 3pm live on ESPN2. All tennis from Montreal)

There’s no American men in the Top 10 of the World Tennis Rankings.

A man from Germany just won the PGA Championship.

American men hold NONE of the heavyweight boxing champions.

Even the current WWE Champion (Sheamus) is from Ireland.

What the hell are we any good at in this country?!?!?

Well, I know of at least one sport where we still dominate. Thanks in large part to great athletes like one Glenn Clark…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVqIvM8Wbas[/youtube]

You’re welcome, America.

4. Auto Racing: NASCAR Irwin Tools Night Race (Saturday 7:30pm from Bristol, TN live on ABC), IndyCar Series Indy Grand Prix of Sonoma (Sunday 5pm from Sonoma, CA live on VERSUS)

I don’t much care for NASCAR myself. I’ll admit that it’s an area where I’m fairly snobby, as I prefer my sports-and my TV viewing in general-to actually be captivating, interesting and entertaining.

The good news is that when the NASCAR circuit hits Bristol Motor Speedway, they’re racing on a smaller track. That means there are probably going to be a few more of these…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UJ5jD6OJiE[/youtube]

3. Lacrosse: MLL Championship Weekend-Boston Cannons vs. Chesapeake Bayhawks (Saturday 12pm), Denver Outlaws vs. Long Island Lizards (Saturday 3pm), MLL Championship Game (Sunday 1pm…all games from Navy-Marine Corps Memorial Stadium live on ESPN3.com, 2nd semifinal Saturday also live on Universal Sports)

This is a tough spot. I’m uncomfortable with rooting for the Bayhawks, as they WERE the Baltimore Bayhawks but were eventually moved to Washington before coming back to Annapolis and changing their name to “Chesapeake.” Of course, my other options include teams from Boston and New York, and I’m CERTAINLY not rooting for them.

I know what else I’ll be rooting for…AWESOME INJURIES. Awesome injuries like the one recently picked up by Cincinnati Bearcats star (Roland Park) Laura Simanski; who you may know better as “The Future Mrs. Glenn Clark.” Laura was apparently playing recently in Ocean City, and her mom did the right thing and posted photographic evidence of an AWESOME injury on Facebook…

laurainjury

2. Mixed Martial Arts: WEC-Dominick Cruz vs. Joseph Benavidez (Wednesday 9pm from Las Vegas live on VERSUS); Strikeforce Houston (Saturday 10pm from Houston live on Showtime)

If Bobby Lashley wins OR loses Saturday night, I have one simple request to Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker. PLEASE make this happen next…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUj07_f89i4[/youtube]

1. Baltimore Ravens @ Washington Redskins (Saturday 8pm from FedEx Field live on WBAL 11 & Comcast SportsNet), Tweetup with SI’s Peter King (Wednesday 4:30pm Amicci’s Little Italy)

If you regularly read WNST.net…or the Washington Post’s DC Sports Bog…or Deadspin…or Kissing Suzy Kolber…or Mister Irrelevant…or Press Box…or DCRTV…or the Bible…wait, no, maybe not the bible…you may have heard that I don’t much care for the Washington Redskins.

But as time has gone on, my opinion has softened.

So to all of those who have been offended by my previous comments regarding the Skins, I offer something new…

“F*ck the Redskins. F*ck John Riggins. F*ck MASN’s Riggins commercial.”

Go ahead and quote me. See you at that dump you call a stadium Saturday night in…Raljon? Ugh. What a dreadful place…

Flexing my mic muscles since 1983…

-G

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